[Batman]

Gory Guerrero in a Lock-up Gauntlet Match first against his tag-team partner Santo and then against his own son, Eddy Guerrero.

Santo and Gory put on a technical, aerial classic filled with both passion and athleticism. Then when one of them hits a move that puts both men down, struggling to regain their feet before a ten count, (a super-plex most likely) Love Machine rolls out from under the ring and beats the hell out of BOTH men, while Eddy can only look on helplessly from inside his cell at ringside.

Then Love Machine grabs a mic.

"Why? You want to know why, Eddy? I'll TELL you why! Santo... do I really need a reason? He's a schmuck! But Gory? I attacked your dad because he was trying to take my SPOT! I'm the one who should have a big feud with you. We've got history! Hell, you stole my finishing move! Sure, daddy stole my schtick and attacked you in a Santo mask. But HE's not the one who's been trying to frame me for it. That was ME! I've been planting Santo masks in my gear, and such, all to try to plant seeds of doubt in your mind. But NO, you couldn't believe that your 'best friend' could ever turn on you.

Well, BELIEVE IT! And now that these... distractions are out of the way, it's finally just you and me... tomorrow night... in the MAIN!... EVENT!!"

[Batman]

A pretaped promo setting up the main event...

Foley: "In order to agree to this match, Ali insisted that there be no street-fighting and no wrestling. The only allowed moves would be strikes above the belt. I agreed to this, with one condition. There would be no judges, no points, no tkos. The only way to lose this bout is to quit or get knocked out.

Why? Do I think that I can out-punch Muhammad Ali, the legend, the greatest boxer of all time?

No. But Mr. Ali is going to learn something tonight. I'm a legend, too. NOBODY can take pain, take injury, and keep getting up and keep fighting like I do. Nobody Ali has ever faced... Nobody PERIOD. It should be an interesting fight. Good luck to you Mr. Ali. May the best man win."

[Batman]

The Main Event of Night Two of ragnaROCK!
Cactus Jack v. Muhammad Ali
Give Up or Knock Out

This bout is ugly and bloody. Ali gets the lion's share of the offense, but nothing will keep Jack down, and Ali is starting to get worn down, too. Jack is so severely beaten that he's tough to look at, but he barely seems fazed by it. He's been knocked down many times, but he won't let the ref get to ten. Then Ali lets his guard down to put everything into one shot and they knock each other down simultaneously. But the ref took a glancing blow, and he's out, too. The crowd counts to ten-- this should be a double knock-out, but there's no official!

George takes this opportunity to interject himself. He enters the ring, steel chair in hand. He glances from one man to the other. He can't decide who he wants to face less tomorrow night!

Then Cactus Jack begins to stir. He's getting up! He's not human! George looks on with abject terror. His decision is made. He slams Jack in the head with chairshot after chairshot, until he's sure he won't get up again soon. He revives the ref and the count begins.

Ali comes to and reaches his feet by five. Jack also comes to, and starts to pull himself up. But he's lost his equilibrium, he can't find his feet. He stumbles to his knees as the ref reaches ten. Ali wins! But how will he feel when he sees the tape and finds out HOW he won?

[Batman]

Commissioner Okerlund:

"For the first time, the World Capital of Wrestling Cup will require a tie-breaking third match. For this special occassion, Armageddon Wrestling is proud to introduce the GAME! OF! DEATH!!"

At this cue a huge tarp-covered structure is unveiled. It is a stacked cage, but unlike any you've seen before. The first level is filled with platforms, rings, and bars, all kinds of props for leaping attacks, or for ascending to the next level.

The second level is filled with ladders. AND the winners of the million-dollar ladder match, the Rock & Roll Express!

The third level just has the Manchester Cup in it. Oh... and THE BIG SHOW!

Getting at that cup should be quite a challenge!

[Batman]

The spots and aerial maneuvers that are made possible with all of the platforms and acrobatic equipment on level 1 of the GAME OF DEATH? Breath-taking!

My laziness in not actually describing said maneuvers? Impressive.

(Also, I'm saving a real write-up of a GAME OF DEATH for Phoenix Wrestling.)

At first, individuals succeed in reaching the second level one at a time, but--outnumbered by the RRX--they are quickly knocked back down. Strategies change and the competitors start waiting till there are one or two team-mates ready to rush the second level simultaneously.

The third level is even harder to deal with. Show is at his "you use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen people" best.

At any given time half of the competitors are fighting the opposition, and half are recovering from a bump from a higher level. At this point they start working together, under a "let's just GET the damn cup away from that freaking giant, THEN we can fight over it" sort of truce.

Then Gotch gets the cup in his hands just as Big Show choke-slams him down to the second level. He breaks THROUGH the floor of the second level to the mat below. He managed to hold onto the cup! All he needs to do to win is run out the door with it.

But his timing is bad. Daivari took a bump down to the first level earlier and has had more time to recover than Gotch. He grabs the cup from Gotch and leaps out the door before the rest of Team Manchester can get back down to the first level to try to stop him.

Minneapolis wins the Cup! Minneapolis is the World Capital of Wrestling once again!

[Batman]

Mil Máscaras vs John Rand

I've been hyping this feud for 2 years off and on, and I think I'm burned out. Yeah, Mil kicks Rand's ass. What did you think?

[Batman]

Mickie Knuckles: Hey JAAAACK! Am I ready for you now, Jack?

I won MY match last night. Did you?

What do you say, JACK? How about an old-fashioned street fight? Right here, right now?

Enter Cactus Jack. His face is a mass of bruises and scars, but there's a fire in his eyes.

Cactus Jack: You know what Mickie? Since I was beaten within an inch of my life by the greatest boxer of all time last night, I think that MIGHT be enough to level the playing field between you and me. I accept your challenge!

Cactus Jack vs. Mickie Knuckles
Street Fight

I don't have any special spots or finish in mind for this match. Just imagine your favorite spots from the bloodiest and most inventive street fights of the past: Foley/Edge, Angle/Shane, RVD/Dreamer, whatever. It's like that, but even more painful and cringe-worthy. They murder each-other, but it's all good. Foley comes out on top, ending his Armageddon Wrestling with a 0.500 record, which is certainly better than most bookers treat the man's legacy. He's yours now, Solly.

[Batman]

Okerlund: Last night, Cactus Jack agreed to a match with Muhammad Ali with no grappling, and with no strikes below the waist. The Human Orchid was NOT willing to agree to similar terms. After heated negotiations, a compromise was reached. FORCED on the two competitors by Armageddon Wrestling's president, really.

This match will have three-minute rounds with one-minute rest breaks. Each round will alternate between standard wrestling rules, (with the rule against closed-fist strikes strictly enforced) and the modified boxing rules used in last night's match: Knock Out or Give Up!

Ali enters in red-white-and-blue boxing trunks to thunderous applause. George enters with his usual hoopla and circus and to his accustomed vociferous hatred from the crowd.

Ali has requested a mic!

Ali: George, I have a lot of respect for you. I always have. I learned a lot from you. But last night you gave me a tainted victory. Last night, you decided that Cactus Jack was a man more to be feared than ME--the Greatest of All Time!

Gorgeous George, I am going to make you pay for that!

Okerlund flips a coin. George wins the coin toss! A wrestling round comes first. George is very pleased with himself and seems confident that Ali can't last a round of grappling and that he will not have to face Ali's deadly fists after all.

The bell rings and Ali is in the unaccustomed position of trying to stall for time. George is just as unused to being the agressor in the early part of the match.

George finds that several pinning combinations and submission holds that he attempts on Ali are reversed! Someone has clearly been coaching the boxer in counter-wrestling!

At this point George decides that he might not be able to finish this in one round after all. He decides to start working on mitigating what Ali will be able to do to him, working on his arms and hands with armbars, stomps, and other painful attacks on Ali's wrists, hands and elbows.

The bell rings and they go to their corners. Ali's trainers are working to work out the damage and numbness from his arms and hands. George is barely winded at this point, but he looks on at Ali's preparations with some fear.

The bell rings again, and it's George's turn to beg off. He tries to keep his distance, he tries to keep his guard up, he tries lots of things. But he's still getting badly beaten. There's no judging and no points, which George uses to his advantage by pretending to be knocked down by glancing blows and then taking eight or nine to return to his feet, thereby running down the clock.

But then Ali gets him with a true haymaker, and he is knocked out cold. One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! DING-DING!

Gorgeous George has been saved by the bell!

Nowinski drags George's limp form back to his corner and spends the full minute trying to revive him. At the end of the rest period he's just barely able to get to his feet, punch drunk.

This round Ali is repeatedly putting George into pinning positions, but George keeps kicking out at two. Then George reverses one of Ali's attempts into a rollup with feet on the ropes. The ref doesn't notice the feet. One! TWO! THREE!!! This tournament is over! The Human Orchid has won the Armageddon Crown. Real orchids are falling from the ceiling. Commissioner Okerlund brings out the Armageddon Crown and reluctantly crowns George. Ali looks on, fuming with frustration. George is beaming with pride and arrogance.

This was originally to be the Main Event of ragnaRock! and the climax of the Armageddon Wrestling story. But the burning hatred and betrayal between Eddy Guerrero and Love Machine has led President Alderman to add one more match, a bonus main event! Eddy v Love Machine is the finale of this whole she-bang. And IT IS NEXT!

[Batman]

Commissioner Okerlund:

NEXT! is our MAIN EVENT! Not just the main event of RAGNArock! but of Armageddon Wrestling in general. President Alderman is heading to Basic Combat Training and will not be participating in the 2009 draft, so tonight is the very last night of Armageddon Wrestling, and this match is the very last match under the Armageddon Wrestling banner.

As such, this will be a very special match. It is the climax of the issues between Eddie Guerrero and his erstwhile partner, The Gringo Love Machine Art Barr.

And... it will be a ladder match! The first man to climb a ladder to high above the ring and retrieve THIS, the Phoenix Key, wins the match... and the key!

What is the key good for? Does it unlock something? I have no idea! Perhaps we'll find out next year, presuming President Alderman survives Basic!

And that's NEXT!

[Batman]

Eddy vs. Love Machine

Ladder Match for the Phoenix Key

This is an awesome match filled with inventive spots, along the same lines as Eddie's ladder match with RVD a few years ago, but with more HATE.

Art Barr gets the key and the W, but Eddie gets his revenge and sends the crowd home happy with a post-match beatdown.

Sorry, this is kind of anti-climactic, if I have more ideas for this match, maybe I'll edit them in later.

But anyway, THE END!!!!!

[Chris Eco]

Congratulations and nice job, Sergei. Hoping the key is in fact Chekhov's Gun here...

[Batman]

Yup, I'd never planned to have Eddie lose in the main event, until I thought about how to use this ending to help set things up for the new thing. I hope that Art Barr and his Phoenix Key will be an intriguing part of the new promotion.