Sub-boards of The OOWF
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OOWF Awards 2018 - Hall of Fame by Jack Quinn Sept 16, 2018 17:56:16 GMT -5 |
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PHWF Saturday Seizures #1 (07-28-2018) by snelson66 Jul 30, 2018 8:18:57 GMT -5 |
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OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Steinbach, Manitoba Canada We cut in to a scene backstage, just outside GMtheRick’s office, where Firewoman and Attitude Adjuster are arguing. FW: I don’t know what more proof you need. I gave you all the reports from the doctor. I’m pregnant, it’s yours. End of story. AA: Dammit woman, I’m tired of playing games. FW: It’s not a game, it’s a living….uh….it’s…. Firewoman begins to lose her composure, as the hormone-induced tears begin to well up involuntarily in her eyes. At that point, GMtheRick, hearing the raised voices, flings his door open, startling them both. GMtR: Dammit, both of you. I have a show to produce, can you hold it down? AA: Don’t look at me, this is all her fault. GMtheRick looks at Firewoman. GMtR: Oh no, are you crying. Did you make her cry? AA: No, I just— GMtR: You know, I know you’re a heel and all, and a chickenshit to boot, but to make the mother of your own child cry? That’s really low. AA: I’m….sorry? Wow, I really am…. FW: He doesn’t believe me, Rick. He wants more proof. GMtR: Oh for Pete’s sakes. Rick puts an arm around Firewoman to comfort her. Attitude Adjuster starts to roll his eyes, but instead…. AA: Look, I’m sorry, okay? But you have to understand my position. You’ve had a couple of months to adjust to this right? I’ve barely had two weeks. I just…. I need to be sure, okay? Firewoman sniffs and nods. GMtR: You know, Alan, even though you’re on the opposite side … well, there are just some things that are more important than this stupid war. Rick appears to think for a moment. GMtR: Fire, Alan, I had an idea. You wouldn’t believe how much mail this little story of yours has brought. Positive too! People are really interested in this. So, I have an idea that will boost ratings and maybe put Alan’s mind at rest. What about… live ultrasound in the ring. AA: Yes. Perfect. That way, there are witnesses, and she can’t pull anything. FW: No, not perfect. This should be a private moment, not one shared with— GMtR: Now now. Think about it. You can prove to Alan you’re telling the truth, the technician can pinpoint the date of conception. The fans will love it, and you, Firewoman, for sharing that with them. C’mon….. FW: I don't know... GMtR: They might be able to see if everything's okay, after that... you know... tennis racket incident. Attitude Adjuster looks down at his shoes. Firewoman looks from Rick, to Attitude Adjuster, and back again. She sighs. FW: Fine. I can’t fight you both. GMtR: Good, now you come in my office and sign some consent forms, since it’s your body after all. FW: Gee, I’m glad someone noticed. GMtR: Alan, you go on and we’ll see you in the ring. AA: Great. Um, thanks Rick. I never thought I’d say that but… GMtR: I still hate you and your side. Never forget that. AA: Ditto. [To Firewoman, as he reaches out and gently takes her hand] See you in the ring. Attitude adjuster leaves. The confused Firewoman follows Rick into his office to get ready for the exam. DEAD & BLITZ vs. CAPE TOWN CANNIBALS Ok Mikey is a bit late with this one, but who are we kidding really? Dead and Blitz kick the holy shit out of CTC in this one. Dead nails both with Close the Casket and Blitz does something insanely high risk and impressive off the top rope. One, two, three this one is over. WINNERS in 3:13 – Dead & Blitz TYSON KINCAID vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. ZK DEBEERS – Elimination Match All three men will start in the ring. The last man left standing will be declared the winner. Kincaid, McNasty, and DeBeers circle each other to start things off. Suddenly, both Seamus and Tyson look over at DeBeers, and then at each other. Without speaking a single word, both men dive on DeBeers and pummel the living hell out of him. DeBeers is reeling and runs out of real estate as he backs into the turnbuckle. Seamus and Tyson take turns connecting with haymakers to the helpless, and hapless, DeBeers. It doesn't really look like they're working together so much as enjoying a good old-fashioned beat down. The crowd is certainly enjoying watch DeBeers suffer rights and lefts. The referee eventually gets the two men to back off, giving DeBeers a much needed breather. Kincaid and Seamus immediately go toe-to-toe with each other and start swinging wildly. Seamus throws a vicious right that connects squarely with Kincaid's jaw. Tyson's head snaps back but he doesn't go down. Instead, he fires a haymaker of his own that connects with equally devastating results. Seamus also refuses to go down, and the crowd is eating it up. Just at that moment, as both men are swinging wildly, ZK DeBeers pulls himself up with the aid of the ropes. He tries to steady himself on noticeably wobbly legs and attempts to charge at the other two combatants. Instead, he trips over his own feet and falls flat on his face. Kincaid picks him up and lays him right back down with an explosive clothesline. Seamus drags Kincaid back to his feet and slaps him around a little before picking him up and drilling him with the Celtic Cross. He goes for the academic cover. One...Two...Three. Eliminated: ZK DeBeers. Now it's down to two as they once again get in each others face's and begin to trade punches. Both men are stagger by heavy lefts and rights, but neither man will go down. Seamus gains the advantage for a moment and backs Kincaid into the corner. After a right hand that he is sure has stunned Kincaid, Seamus backs up and then charges. Kincaid was playing possum, however, and ducks out of the way just in time. Seamus crashes chest-first into the turnbuckle and stumbles backwards toward the center of the ring. Kincaid catches him with a swinging neck breaker and quickly goes for the cover. One..Tw..Seamus kicks out. Both men get back to their feet and trade blows once again. This time Kincaid gains the advantage and sends Seamus into the ropes. Kincaid attempts a clothesline but Seamus ducks it, bounces off the ropes, and connects with a clothesline of his own that sends Tyson over the top rope. Somehow Kincaid lands on his feet and immediately pulls Seamus to the outside with him. The two once again slug it out as the crowd screams for blood. The referee is desperately trying to get the men back into the ring, but these two can't hear a thing. Each man's only focus is to beat the hell out of the other one. Kincaid whips McNasty into the barricade and Seamus hits it hard. Kincaid charges in after him, but Seamus has the presence of mind to use Kincaid's momentum against him as he back-body drops Kincaid over the barricade and into the crowd. Seamus climbs over the barricade as well and now the two are brawling right in the middle of the fans. The referee gives up any hope of restoring order and calls for the bell. WINNER - NO CONTEST in 11:04 TYTAN vs. APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE Tytan heads to ringside first, to a mixed response, Apocalyptic Existence comes down next, but instead of his usual second, Chad Patton, he is accompanied by the Mysterious Hooded Figure! Tytan stares holes through the duo as they head to ringside. AE enters the ring and prepares for this sure-to-be-mat classic. The HF stands outside the ring. Tytan tries talking to HF, but he gets zero response. AE and Tytan lock up. Tytan pushes AE into a corner. They lock up again, and AE returns the push. Tytan glances back at the HF as he gets to his feet, and AE charges in, burying his knee in Tytan’s gut. AE takes control with a scoop slam, followed by an elbow drop. Butterfly Suplex. AE covers for 1…2…and Tytan gets the shoulder up. AE drags him to his feet. European uppercut from AE. Bounce off the ropes. Big clothesline. Tytan goes down hard. AE grabs Tytan’s legs and looks to lock in a sharpshooter. Tytan resists, and manages to push AE off. Both men to their feet. Tytan ducks a right hand, and hits a quick belly to back suplex. AE is up quickly and eats a big boot. Tytan hoists AE up in a Gorilla Press. Instead of the usual slam, he turns it into an elevated Michinoku Driver. Cover for 1…2… and AE is barely able to grab the nearby bottom rope to break the count. Tytan drags AE to his feet and blasts him with a forearm. Running power slam. Tytan sets AE on the turnbuckle and hits a Muscle Buster. AE rolls to the outside and The HF consoles him. Tytan shouts a string of obscenities at the HF, who looks up only momentarily. AE crawls back in, and Tytan pounces. He pummels AE with punches and elbows until AE is slumped in the corner. The HF climbs to the apron and raises a hand. Tytan turns to face him and again begins verbally assaulting the HF. The HF turns his back on Tytan’s barrage. Tytan apparently doesn’t like being ignored, and drops down to the arena floor to continue his discussion with HF. The HF turns around quickly reaches under his cloak and reveals a baseball bat! A Bondsian swing lands on Tytan’s skull and levels the former Ultimo protégé. AE drops down the ringside and starts to kick away at Tytan. Suddenly the crowd begins to make some noise, and AE feels a tap on his shoulder. ANOTHER HOODED FIGURE! HF#2 decks AE and grabs the bat from HF#1. HF#1 backs away and trips over a cameraman crouched at ringside. His hood falls back and we see… IT’S CHAD PATTON! HF#2 cracks Patton over the head with the bat and tosses both AE and Tytan in the ring. AE is to his feet first, and he swings a big right hand, titan dicks and AE eats another big boot. Textbook hangman’s neck breaker by Tytan. He circles behind AE and once his foe is to his feet, Tytan locks in a Full Nelson! Patton starts to stir, and the REAL HF blasts him again with the bat. AE sees this and after several moments of struggle to escape, realizes the gig is up and he submits. WINNER, in 9:49; Tytan (Tytan then climbs the ropes and celebrates with the crowd as his music plays, and what has becomes his latest victim. After a bit of that he then asks for a mic. It gets handed to him and he then motions for the sound guy to cut his music, which he does.) Tytan: All right…all right…now it seems people are beginning to wonder who is that guy that keeps showing up during my matches and then in some of my promos. (The crowd responds with some cheers and “What?” and the normal things a wrestling crowd yells.) Tytan: So we decided especially since tonight my opponent tried to pull off what he did. We should move our plan forward and reveal who he is. So at this time I want to call my Hooded Friend into the ring. (The Hooded Friend appears at the entry ramp and begins to make his way down to the ring to a mixed reaction.) Tytan: Thanks. Now for those that don’t remember my friend appeared to me shortly after the falling out with Ultimo Inc. and then we had a little discussion where he offered to treat me like an equal and not the freak show that Steel and Podvod were turning me out to be. It was an interesting offer and once I found out who it was myself I couldn’t say no and that was when Gods and Monsters was formed. Who’s that you say? Well at the Pay Per View we were the ones that jumped the Tag-Team Champs. You see we are not sided with any team in this war so we can do things like that. They call themselves Division Killers. Well guess what? There’s a new team in town and we are coming after you. We want your titles. So be ready Lucios and Phantos. The Gods and Monsters are coming for you! Now let’s get out of here. (He drops the mic and gets and he and the Hooded Friend start to head out and the crowd reacts that they still haven’t told who he is. The two stop and come back and Tytan picks up the mic again.) Tytan: That’s right I said we were going to see who’s under that hood tonight. (He starts to make his way over to his Friend and check under the hood.) Are you ready for this? (The Hooded Friend shakes his head yes. Tytan then steps back and the Hooded Friend gets ready to reveal.) All right the man that has been under the hood and soon will be one half of the Tag-Team Champions of the World, the other half of Gods and Monsters. Is none other then…(As Tytan says the name the Hooded friend pulls his hood down to reveal himself.)…POE!! (The crowd reacts with a mixed reaction, unsure of how to react to this. Tytan and Poe work the crowd and Selena makes her way skipping and clapping down to the ring. The three work the crowd and then decide it’s time to leave.) ERIC O’MAC & POE vs. OUTBACK JACK & SPIN HANSEN Poe, accompanied by Selena, enters the arena first to a chorus of boos. Eric O’Mac is next, and the chorus turns into a symphony, complete with raining debris. The crowd holds its breath as the lights dim, then erupts to the first notes of "Alcohaulin' Ass" as Spin Hansen and Outback Jack enter the arena. OBJ and Spin briefly acknowledge the cheers, then storm down the aisle, and slide into the ring. Eric and Poe attack, and things immediately get out of control. The four men brawl around the ring, and referee Angelo Barros attempts to restore order, but after ducking the third punch, retreats to an unoccupied corner and calls for the bell. Eric gets the best of OBJ with a sucker punch, and beats him down to the mat. He continues the attack with stomps and kicks, rolling OBJ to the corner and choking him against the ropes. Eric swings himself up on the rope and comes down with a double stomp on OBJ's chest. He pulls the bigger man to his feet and throws him to the ropes. OBJ catches an attempted leg lariat, and muscles Eric into a T-bone suplex. Barros takes advantage of the separation and sends OBJ to one corner and orders Eric to another. Spin and Poe, meanwhile, are in center ring, exchanging haymakers. Poe gets the advantage and staggers Spin, then scoops him up and slams him. He comes off the ropes and drives an elbow into Spins throat, then rolls him over and stomps on the back of his neck. Poe squats over Spin and locks him into a Camel Clutch. Spin refuses to submit, and starts dragging himself to the ropes. OBJ steps into the ring, and Eric comes in as well, diving over Poe and Spin to take OBJ down with a flying forearm. They roll to the outside, exchanging punches. Before Spin reaches the ropes, Poe stands up and drives his weight into Spin's back. He tries to do it again, but Spin forces himself to his feet, lifting Poe up and driving him back to the mat. Spin immediately rolls over and starts driving punches into Poe's face. Eric, nose bloody from a collision with the ring steps, breaks away from OBJ and dives into the ring. He punts Spin in the head, drawing blood and knocking him off of Poe. As Poe gets to his feet, OBJ spears Eric from behind, driving him into the corner. OBJ drops Eric with a reverse DDT and turns to face Poe. They forego the lock up and just start throwing punches. Poe has a size advantage, but OBJ is relentless, and he drives the big man back towards the ropes. Spin gets to his feet and they whip Poe to the ropes, elevating the big man out of the ring with a tandem backdrop. Eric is up and attempts a double clothesline, but OBJ and Spin duck. Spin sweeps Eric's legs as OBJ hits a brutal clothesline. Eric does a 360 in the air and hits the mat hard. OBJ sees Poe getting back in the ring and hits the ropes, while Spin goes to the opposite side. Call of the Wild! Poe may be dead. Spin covers, but Barros forces OBJ back to the D&D corner before making the count. One...Two...Thr- Poe just rolls a shoulder. Spin rolls to his feet, kicks Poe in the head, and makes the tag. OBJ and Spin shove Poe into the corner and beat on him with punches. They whip him into the opposite corner and do a double reverse Irish whip, sending OBJ flying into the corner with a clothesline. Poe stumbles out of the corner and OBJ muscles him up into a power bomb. He covers, but Eric dives in to break it up at two. Barros sends Eric back to his corner and OBJ turns back to Poe but gets surprised by a punch to the stomach. Poe drives an elbow into the back of OBJ's head, then plants him with a DDT. He drags OBJ to his corner, where Eric has just removed the turnbuckle pad, and slams his head onto the exposed steel, immediately drawing blood. Poe turns to block Barros' view, and Eric grabs OBJ. OBJ breaks the grip, however, and slams Eric's face into the metal with a sickening crunch. As Eric collapses, Poe grabs OBJ and snaps him over with a suplex, then grinds his forearm into OBJ's wounded face hooking his leg for a cover. Spin breaks it up at two. Poe rolls to his feet and blocks a punch from Spin, grabbing him by the throat for a choke slam. As he lifts him, OBJ chop blocks him and Poe topples backwards. Spin manages to shift position on the way down, and lands knee-first on Poe's windpipe. Spin rolls out of the ring toward Eric, grabbing him as he gets up and slamming him into the railing. Inside the ring, Poe gets to his knees, still choking, and OBJ comes off the ropes behind him, bulldogging him into the mat. OBJ rolls him over and covers, pressing the point of his elbow into Poe's windpipe. Barros counts One...Two...Three. WINNERS in 21:36, Spin Hansen and Outback Jack. DH MAGNUSSON vs. DAMON WRATH This should be an interesting match. Both men prefer the “ground and pound” style of wrestling. Wrath was professionally trained, while Magnusson basically worked his way up and down the Jersey shore bars perfecting his craft. Both men make it to the ring and we get our introductions. Both men are the same height, but Magnusson has about a 50 lb weight advantage. The two men slowly circle and lock up. Magnusson uses his weight advantage to push Wrath toward the ropes, but before they get there, Wrath spins behind Magnusson and takes him to the mat with a waist lock. Wrath immediately tries to work the arm, but Magnusson spins out of it and flips Wrath to the mat and grabs a side head lock. Wrath immediately gets to his feet and spins out of it reversing it into a test of strength. Magnusson is winning the battle, bending Wrath backward to the mat when Wrath releases his grip and takes Magnusson to the mat with a drop toe hold, plants his knee right between Magnusson’s shoulders and pulls back on his arms locking him in a modified camel clutch. The referee asks Magnusson if he wants to quit, HA! Fat chance of THAT happening. Instead Magnusson grunts in pain and endures the pain. Magnusson struggles and eventually gets to his feet, Wrath keeps hold of Magnusson’s arms and keeps one knee planted in his back, precariously keeping his balance on one leg. Before Magnusson can break out if it, Wrath releases his arms, grabs the back of his head and drops him with a lung blower! Wrath covers, but Magnusson rolls his shoulder at two. Wrath pulls Magnusson to his feet and shoves him back into the corner and hits him with repeated shoulder blocks to the midsection. Wrath backs off a few steps while Magnusson gasps to regain his breath, and charges with his head down for one last big shoulder block, but Magnusson meets him with a knee lift that snaps Wrath’s head back and sends him to the mat. Wrath struggles to his feet, his eyes a little glassy from the impact. Magnusson explodes out of the corner and nearly takes Wrath’s head off with a clothesline. Magnusson covers, but Wrath rolls his shoulder at two. DH mounts Wrath and hammers him with shots to the head, Wrath does his best to cover up and deflects a few shots, but a few of them also find their mark and leave Wrath bloody. Wrath manages to find the ropes and force the break. Magnusson lets Wrath get to his feet, then pulls him to the center of the ring and catches him with several knees to the face before lifting him for a vertical suplex. Wrath kicks and slips out of the move, landing on his feet behind Magnusson. DH spins around and Wrath grabs his arm and wrings it, then hits the LIGHTS OUT! Magnusson staggers, but doesn’t go down, so Wrath grabs him on his shoulders for the F-5, but Magnusson slips off his shoulders, grabs Wrath in a waist lock and throws him backward with a release German suplex! Wrath lands on the back of his head, and both men are down. The referee starts the ten count, and it takes until seven before they begin to stir. Magnusson crawls to the corner and pulls himself to his feet. Wrath gets to his feet and staggers a bit, then sees Magnusson in the corner and charges. DH side steps and Wrath SLAMS chest first into the corner! As he staggers back a few steps, Magnusson grabs him and hits the DREAM STREET! Magnusson hooks the move hard, and Wrath struggles to get to the ropes, but they are tantalizingly close, but ultimately just out of reach. Wrath has no choice and he taps before he loses consciousness. WINNER in 10:49 – DH Magnusson STANK vs. CONCRETE TG vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK – No Rules The strains of Joe Satriani usher in CGT, who gets a hero’s welcome as he drags the Big Box O Plunder down to the ring, as well as his trusted ally, CHAIR. Concrete TG soaks in the crowd's ovation, until his music rather abruptly is replaced by "Scarecrow" as Moosehead Jack slowly makes his way to the ringside area, barbed-wire baseball bat slung over his shoulder. Moose stops short of entering the ring however, content to exchange withering stares with the Superhero in the ring. NonPoint's "Skin" Fires up, and here comes the leader of Drink and Destroy, Stank, charging with a purpose! He shoots past a smirking Moosehead Jack and slides into the ring tackling CTG and automatically fires off a flurry of rapid fire punches to the head! The bell rings almost as an afterthought, and we're underway! Stank is in firm control already, having caught the hero off-guard with the barrage of right hands as he whips him into the ropes and nearly decapitates him with a stiff clothesline! Big-time knee drop by Stank, and he goes back to the mounted face punches, as Moosehead Jack watches from the outside. Does he even know he's IN this match? Stank still in control in the ring as he picks up CTG, but gets peppered with a quick trifecta of knife edge chops from the hero that stagger him back a step! Attempt at a double leg Stank finds nothing as CTG rolls over his back...BIG TIME SUPERKICK BY CTG! That sounded like a rifle going off in the arena! Stank is down, and CTG turns his attention the outside of the ring where MJH looks on, and dares him to get in the ring. MHJ responds by hopping onto the apron, then hopping back to the floor, pointing behind the hero, where Stank has recovered and grabs a quick waist lock, looking for a German - No! CTG flips out of the release and hits the far ropes. Stank lowers his head, looking the backdrop, but the hero once again shows his quickness and uses Stank's back as a launching pad as the clears the ring, landing on Moosehead Jack! CTG quickly springs to his feet, soaking in the "Holy Shit" chant before reaching into the ring and scooping up CHAIR, as Stank looks to be busying himself with something in the Big Box. MHJ up to his feet, and CTG tosses chair at him, looking maybe for a Van Damninator, but Moose quickly hurls CHAIR back at CTG resulting into a sick Sabu chair shot! Moose is as quick always to seize an opportunity, and barbs up his bat, driving into the head of CTG, while Stank seems to be taping something to his chest in the ring... Moose quickly pulls up CTG, and props him up against the ring post before taking a few check swings with the bat. Oh no. He can't. Moose swings for the fences, but CTG ducks under, saving his own life as the bat EXPLODES against the ring post! Standing enziguri by the hero takes the madman to a knee, and a shining wizard leaves him face down in the remnants of the bat! Back in the ring, Stank has taped a stop sign to his chest...No, I don't know why either. CTG is very visibly busted open and pouring blood from the jagged tears in his face left from the bat as he opens CHAIR and sets Moose on it, backing up the length of the ring and charging in with a dropkick! CHAIR folds over backwards as MHJ crashes to the ground, and the crowd erupts as CTG drags his long time foe to his feet, leaving a puddle of blood from the back of Moose's head on the floor. The crowd has whipped itself into a frenzy now, and maybe Concrete TG looks back in the ring in time to see STANK ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! Stank launches himself like a big armor plated missile to the floor, crushing both men under him! BAH GOD!~ That must feel like having a tank dropped on top of you! Stank is first to his feet, ripping off the stop sign as he gets up, and he WAFFLES to slowly rising MHJ with it! Jack hits the ground like a sack of wet oatmeal, and Stank grabs CTG whips him into the steel barricade and follows him over, looking for a side pickup but CTG is still just a little faster, as he counters with a side russian leg sweep into the rail! Both men are slumped against the rail, which gives the recovering Moosehead Jack the change to charge at both, burying knees into the sides of both men's heads! Quick pick up on CTG, and even quicker snap suplex onto the entrance ramp! CTG howls in pain, which garners a smile from the madman before he begins grinding CTG's face against the grating of the ramp. Both man are a bloody mess as MHJ pulls the hero to his feet, loading up for a DDT before Stank spears Jack out of his boots! Stanks's head slams hard into the incline of the ramp, and he comes up bloodied, but unphased as he begin hammering away with boots to Moose! Quick pickup and a body slam by Stank, but as he gets up, he's met by a flying lariat from CTG! CTG grabs Moose by the hair, dragging him to his feet for a jawbreaker. Stank's back up and he and CTG give each other a long hard look, before noticing that MHJ is trying to scoot away up the ramp. This draws the attention of both Stank and CTG who both grab a leg and make a wish! Stank and Crete back up, and Stank LEVELS CTG with a short arm clothesline with enough force to send him flipping backwards to the top of the ramp! Stank looks glassy-eyed as he looks to the top of the ramp, grabbing Moosehead Jack in a fireman's carry and heading to the top of the ramp. Someone has got to stop this! Stank is at the edge of the platform, and he's looks like he's going to... NO~! CTG grabs Jack's leg and pulls him out off of Stank's shoulders! Concrete TG has just saved Moosehead Jack from what could have easily been a career ending maneuver! What is this world coming to? CTG begins to say something to Stank, jut gets a big right hook to the jaw for his efforts! The hero goes SPRAWLING~! As Stank turns his attention back to MHJ, nails Stank with a low blow! Stank crumbles as Moose crumbles to his knees, breathing heavily. Crete is to his feet, and he's eyeing the metal latticework of the OOWFTron to the roar of the crowd's collective approval. He begins climbing as Moose and Stank get to their feet, exchanging punches as they do. Stank begins to get the better of Moose, firing off 6 unanswered right hands and grabbing MHJ by the throat! He looks to the crowd, then looks over the edge of the stage... Concrete TG flies from the top of the OOWFTRON~! He crashes into both men and... Oh my God. The impact of CTG's plancha carries all 3 men off the stage to the floor below! The crowd falls silent, and we have a real situation here. All three men lay on the floor, unmoving. The EMTs rush out, and obviously this one is over. WINNER – in 15:59 – NO CONTEST <We get a video recap of the Firewoman-Attitude Adjuster saga, complete with ominous music accompanied slow motion replays of AA hitting Fire in the abdomen with a tennis racket. When the segment finishes, we cut to the ring> Scene cuts to the ring, where a lab technician stands next to a contraption that must be an ultrasound machine. “Right Here, Right Now” by Van Halen fires up, and Alan “Attitude Adjuster” Capps comes down to the ring, in street clothes, but he’s not his usual cocky self. He does however stop to read a fan’s sign that says “Firewoman Could Have Done Better.” He grabs it and takes it to the ring. He grabs a mic from a production assistant. AA: You all think this is funny?? Do ya!!! Well, I got news for you. Sure Firewoman could have done better, but she didn’t. So HA! And with that confusing statement, he rips up the sign and tosses it out of the ring. “Firewoman” by the Cult fires up, and Firewoman comes down the ramp to thunderous ovation, although she looks like she’d rather be anywhere else. She’s accompanied not by her trusty valet, but by the newly-named godfather of her child, Alexander Darling. He appears to be whispering words of encouragement and support. My, how the evil one has fallen! She climbs in the ring, after telling Alexander to just stay on the floor. The technician gives Firewoman some instructions, and she hops reluctantly up onto the table, after getting an encouraging nod from Alexander. She lays back and the technician starts to prepare stuff. AA: Wait…this is… like, safe right? It’s not going to hurt it, right? FW: It’s certainly safer than a tennis racket. At that, Attitude Adjuster shuts up. The technician begins to scan Firewoman’s abdomen. Attitude Adjuster stares intently at the screen, which is also being projected onto the OOWF-tron. Tech: Right there That would be the head. He clicks on something and draws a box around it. AA: It… it is? It looks like just a bunch of white snow static to me. Tech: Well, it’s really hard to see if you’re not used to it. And right there, that fluttering move? That’s it’s heart beat. Let me turn up the speaker so you can hear it. A soft, fast fluttering noise fills the speakers in the Arena. Attitude Adjuster’s face goes pale. AA: Can you tell if it’s a boy or a girl? FW: Don’t be silly, it’s too soon. AA: It is? But what about…I mean…the tennis racket. Tech: I’m afraid it’s too soon to figure that out as well. We’ll just have to wait and see. FW: There, is that real enough for you? What about date of conception, can you figure that out? While the technician makes some other scans and measurements, Attitude Adjuster turns away from the ultrasound table, then it appears as if he’s made a decision. He turns back to Firewoman, who is getting up and falls down onto one knee. FW: What the heck are you doing? AA: Fire…Lisa… I’m so sorry….. FW: For? AA: For everything. For getting drunk and taking advantage of you – FW: Uh, I think I took advantage of you AA: -- for starting the rumor in the first place, for being such a jerk. Jesus, for hitting you and maybe harming or even …. Oh geez, can you please forgive me? FW: Uh… sure. But there’s something— AA: Oh thank you. Thank you. he grabs her hand and starts kissing it. Firewoman starts to smile FW: Okay, get up. It’s fine, really. We have to— AA: No wait. I’ve been thinking. And seeing the -- hearing the—well, it’s just made me 100% sure. I wanna do the right thing. FW: The right thing? Firewoman smiles a little more AA: I want to make an honest woman out of you, Lisa. I want to give my child a name. Firewoman…..[he takes a deep breath]…. And somehow we’ll make Jericho understand, but…. Firewoman….[he takes another deep breath]…. Lisa….will you marry me? The crowd ERUPTS. Firewoman looks down shocked at Attitude Adjuster, who looks up at her with expectant eyes (no pun intended). Fire looks at the technician and tells him he can go, which he begins to do, clearly not wanting to spoil such a beautiful moment! The crowd begins to chant “Say Yes! Say Yes!” Alexander Darling is stunned and his shaking his head no. Fire looks around at the crowd, at Alex, and … are those tears in her eyes? Then down at Attitude Adjuster, who appears to say “C’mon, Lisa. Say yes.” Firewoman smiles. A little at first, then more, then… wait, is she laughing? Yes. Firewoman is laughing. Attitude Adjuster, still on one knee, holding her hand, starts to laugh too, but then he stops, as this isn’t the kind of laughter he was thinking it was. Firewoman grabs the mic from him. FW: Alan, Alan, Alan….my goodness, that was a beautiful speech. Really. You almost had me at “I wanna do the right thing.” Firewoman pulls the mic away, as she’s laughing harder. AA stays on his one knee, looking sort of confused now. FW: Alan, you started the rumor that I was pregnant to get into my head and distract me from the Onslaught Championship. And it worked, for a while. But then, I had an idea. A way to get even with you for your part in costing me the championship in the first place. And really, really I have to thank you for it, because you really laid the ground work. The smile has left AA’s face now, replaced by … well, the same stunned look as when he found out he was going to be a daddy. AA: What do you mean…am I… am I not the father? Firewoman busts out laughing at this. FW: Not only are you not the father, you idiot. THERE IS NO BABY!! I was NEVER PREGNANT!! The crowd is stunned. Some of them cheer, just on principle, but some start to boo. AA: What…but…but…the paternity tests!!? FW: Staged. I paid off the OOWF medical staff to falsely confirm my test, and then fix the paternity results. AA: But you don’t have the money for that! FW: No, but Alexander does. Alexander Darling, at the side of the stage, is stunned as well. AA: But…the ultrasound…the heart beat!! FW: Paid off the technician. Thanks, partner. She reaches into her pocket and gets the DEA Debit card, and tosses it to Alexander. Alexander is too stunned and it hits his chest and falls to the floor. . AA: But the pictures of that night? FW: Photo shop, my dear. Really, the look on your face right now is PRICELESS!! Attitude Adjuster gets up, but is still clearly in a state of shock, and staggers just a bit. AA: But why? Why would you do this? Why would you get my hopes up, and … why? FW: You seriously don’t know? Kidnapping my valet? The beat down in North Korea? And then, playing a vital role in losing my belt…. my Onslaught belt!![/b] I may not have found away to get even with Eric or Bennett yet for stealing my belt from me, but you gift wrapped an idea right into my lap. I had to keep it secret from everyone, including you, Alex,… Alex, and DH, I’m really sorry about that. I couldn’t risk Attitude Adjuster finding out the truth accidentally. It’s good to know that you two would stick by me, no matter what though. Really, the only other people who knew were Jericho, and Rick, of course. Alan, you were so willing to believe. It was easier than I thought it would be. I mean seriously. What woman would keep WRESTLING when pregnant? And what medical team would CLEAR her to do that? It’s so obvious!! And you still didn’t get it! No wonder you suck at gambling. Attitude Adjuster walks slowly around the ring, letting this all sink in. FW: Then you hit me with that damned tennis racket, when you merely thought I was pregnant. And I knew I had my angle. And you fell for it. You let a WOMAN get the best of you. Firewoman laughs AA: I… you…you… Before he can get the words out, Firewoman takes the monitor from the ultrasound screen and clobbers AA over the head with it. Glass and broken plastic are everywhere. Attitude Adjuster has a cut over his left eye, and the blood is starting to flow. She straddles the downed Attitude Adjuster, and pulls the mic up again. FW: Gee, Alan. I guess you should have taken your own advice. Never trust anything that bleeds for 4 days and doesn’t die. She straightens up, and kicks Attitude Adjuster a little in the side as she steps back. Now ring the bell, because thanks to Rick? This here is going to be an Onslaught Championship match, bitch, so let’s get this shit started. The technician has removed his jacket to reveal a striped shirt. He was an OOWF referee all along! He signals and the timekeeper rings the bell, and we are underway! ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. FIREWOMAN – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match Attitude Adjuster is still reeling from the effects of an ultrasound monitor to the head. Firewoman does the international sign for “Come on! Get up and let’s go.” She quickly gets impatient with this and attacks Attitude Adjuster with forearms. She drives him into the corner, and all Attitude Adjuster can do is hold his arms up to block. She circles back to the center of the ring, arms outstretched, and then turns back to head full steam for the corner. Attitude Adjuster clears the cobwebs enough to get a foot up, so she gets hit right in the stomach. Firewoman stumbles back, as Attitude Adjuster staggers out of the corner. The referee tries to check on him to see if he’s okay, but Attitude Adjuster waves him off. He wanders around the ring, swinging wildly at Firewoman, who is keeping just out of reach, toying with him. Clearly he’s been concussed. Firewoman turns her back for just a moment, and Attitude Adjuster has her! He tries to set up the Attitude Adjustment, but he’s still reeling from the monitor bashed into his head. Firewoman works out of it, and pushes him over onto his back. She runs towards the ropes and hits Best Firesault Ever! She hooks the leg and covers! The ref counts 1-2-3! WINNER in 2:21 and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion - Firewoman Firewoman grabs the belt from the referee and rolls out of the ring. Alexander Darling has recovered a bit from the shock of what has transpired in the ring (and picked up the debit card), and holds Firewoman’s arms up triumphantly, but still looks at Firewoman a bit confused and stunned as they walk backwards up the ramp. LD WILLIAMS, CHRIS COLE, ATTITUDE ADJUSTER, F. FONZWORTH MACCAPPINGTON III, RYAN HARDCORE, THE AMNESIAC, SYB & SKURGE vs. DAVIN MORELAND, ALEXANDER DARLING, FIREWOMAN, PHANTOS, LUCIOS, BUNNY, CARL FROM FRESNO & JUSTIN SANE – Elimination Match The crowd is super-hyped for this monster Elimination Match. “Master of Puppets” fires up, and, in accordance with the “Best Music Rule”; SYB, Skurge, F. Fonzworth MacCappington III, Ryan Hardcore, THE Amnesiac, Attitude Adjuster, “The Lower Midcard” “The Main Event” Chris Cole and OOWF World Heavyweight Champion L.D. Williams all come down the ramp to rampant boos. There are lots of birds being flipped and yelling going on, but they all make it to the ring, and pose and strut because they’re all so awesome. Chris Cole calls for a mic. Cole: Run DEA is everything that’s wrong with the OOWF today. So tonight, we’re gonna teach them a lesson. DEA, get out here and get your asses kicked! As soon as Cole drops the mic, the lights dim, and ridiculous, booming pyro goes off for a full 15 seconds. The Jumbotron is black, until in white letters “RUN” comes up, and the crowd gets to their feet. In rapid succession, the letters “D” “E” and “A” flash and then the lights come back on full to Saliva’s “Ladies and Gentlemen”. On the ramp, Emma, Bunny, Carl From Fresno, Justin Sane, OOWF Onslaught Champion Firewoman, OOWF Tag Team Champions Phantos and Lucios, OOWF Intercontinental Champion Alexander Darling, Samantha Darling and Davin Moreland appear, wearing black T-shirts with “Run DEA” in white block lettering on the front; on the back, they say “Team Rick, Team Unity”. The ovation is deafening as ALL of Run DEA (at least, those in town) makes their way down the ramp, slapping hands, signing autographs, even Davin. Finally they all make their way into the ring, and the trash talk starts with all 18 people in the ring, and there are all sorts of fun issues between just about everyone here. Nose to nose are Davin and Cole (shocking, I know), and there are just strings of expletives flying in that conversation. I guess they don’t like each other much. It almost comes to blows, but some of the saner members of each delegation get everyone separated. Poor Davis Hightower looks like he’s going to have a stroke as he calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! Emma and Samantha Darling climb to the outside as each side tries to figure out who will start out first. Predictably, Run DEA sends out the one non-member of Run DEA (at least he still gets a T-Shirt) Bunny, and he’s going to face off against THE Amnesiac. There is LOTS of trash talk flying across the ring from both sides, but in the ring, Bunny and THE Amnesiac lock up, and THE Amnesiac easily shoves Bunny into the corner. THE Amnesiac smirks and poses, and slowly walks over to Bunny, who hits him with MOUNTAIN DEW MIST!! Davin Moreland jumps up on the turnbuckle and calls to Bunny. Bunny jumps up and climbs onto Davin’s shoulder. He leaps…1170 SPLASH ONTO THE AMNESIAC! Bunny covers..1, 2, 3! THE Amnesiac is eliminated. Bunny is barely back on his feet before F. Fonzworth MacCappington III charges him and DESTROYS Bunny with a Spear. That was easy. Bunny is eliminated. Justin Sane FLIES over the rope with some sort of Suicide Springboard Plancha thing (aren’t all his moves kind of suicidal?) But FFMIII catches in mid-air and KILLS him with a POWER SLAM. Instead of covering, FFM goes for the GREETINGS FROM PACIFIC HEIGHTS! He nails it, and hopefully Justin can leave the ring under his own power. Justin Sane is eliminated. Carl From Fresno calmly steps through the ropes and smirks at FFMIII, whose demeanor drastically changes as he sees this turn of events. These two clearly have SOME sort of history, but other than the fact they’re both from Fresno, not much else is known. Regardless, they lock up in the middle of the ring, and FFMIII works a headlock, which Carl works out to an arm-wringer. FFMIII quickly pulls his arm in and DRILLS Carl with a SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE. FFMIII runs the ropes and looks for a BIG SPLASH but EATS CANVAS as Carl rolls out of the way. STANDING MOONSAULT on FFMIII and Carl rolls him over for the cover…1, 2, NO! FFMIII kicks out. Carl starts STOMPING and hits a leg drop. He looks to cover again, but before he gets the chance…INSIDE CRADLE! That gets 2 as Carl does kick out. Both men are to their feet, and start throwing HAYMAKERS. They look to be throwing hands to a stalemate; but as if a switch went off. FFMIII just GRABS Carl and picks him up. He’s looking for the GREETINGS FROM PACIFIC HEIGHTS! CARL SLIDES OUT THE BACK DOOR! NOT REALLY GOOD BUT NOT TOO SHABBY DIAMOND CUTTER! Carl covers…1, 2, 3! F. Fonzworth MacCappington III is eliminated. As Carl is getting to his feet, he doesn’t see Ryan Hardcore getting to the top rope, and he doesn’t realize until he’s on the ground that he’s been DRILLED with a PEARL NECKLACE! No chance for Carl. Carl From Fresno is eliminated. Ryan sees Firewoman climb through the ropes and starts to smirk, mouthing something like “You sure that isn’t mine, whore?” Yeah, that went over about as well as you’d expect. Firewoman just LAUNCHES after Hardcore, quickly shoving him into the corner and chopping away. Hardcore slumps into the corner. Firewoman climbs the turnbuckle looking for the BFE, but there’s a BLIND TAG by Attitude Adjuster! Fire HITS THE BFE on Hardcore, and covers, but, of course, Hardcore isn’t legal, so AA RIPS~! Fire off of Hardcore, and KICKS HER IN THE STOMACH~! ADDITUDE ADJUSTMENT! Firewoman is eliminated. Lucios comes FLYING into the ring and starts HAMMERING away on AA, and AA is in trouble until he locks on THE CLAW (with his therapeutic black glove). Lucios immediately has to stop his momentum and quickly falls to his knees, as AA has THE CLAW LOCKED ON! Phantos comes into the ring and hits a low dropkick to AA’s knees, forcing him to break THE CLAW. This draws SYB into the ring, and he tries to SLAPFIGHT Phantos, who really starts laying the wood to him. Skurge gets into the act now, and HE starts whaling on Phantos. Skurge and SYB are in control, and they hit the INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT on Phantos. THIS draws Davin Moreland in, and he Clotheslines Skurge and SYB out to the floor, and flips off Cole and Williams before making his way back to his side. Meanwhile Lucios and AA have absolutely turned this into a straight-up brawl, just hammering each other, with AA getting the worst of it. A BIG DDT puts AA Down, and Phantos rolls back into the ring just in time to hit the DROPKICK DEVICE! Attitude Adjuster is eliminated. Skurge comes back in, and he tries to lock on a CLAW of his own. It’s still pretty effective, even without the therapeutic black glove, and Lucios was weakened from it before as it was. He motions to SYB and he flies in as they hit the RISE N’ SHINE on Lucios. Lucios is eliminated. Neither of them notices that Davin is on the top turnbuckle, or that Phantos is on his shoulders. Phantos leaps and hits a CORKSCREW CROSSBODY on SYB and Skurge. He covers Skurge… Skurge is eliminated. He covers SYB… SYB is eliminated. Chris Cole is immediately in and starts pounding away on Phantos, and we’re going to SUPLEX SCHOOL! German Suplex, Gutwrench Suplex, EXPLODER Suplex, finally finishing with a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX w/ BRIDGE. Phantos is eliminated. Davin Moreland steps into the ring and grins. So does Cole. This looks familiar. Cole SHOVES Davin. Davin BITCHSLAPS Cole. Aaaaanddd…it’s a fight. Just an all-out brawl all around the ring. Eventually, Cole manages to hit a Low Dropkick that forces Davin on his face. Alexander Darling gets a BLIND TAG as Cole sets Davin up for a HEADLINER, but Darling hits a NECKBREAKER on Cole and forces him to let go. Darling gets Cole up on his shoulders (even the bad one) and Davin, seeing the situation, runs the ropes…DARLING DRIVER DIAMOND CUTTER! Davin IMMEDIATELY says, “Get him back up!” and yells to LD “Stay there, we’ll be with you in a second”. He runs the ropes again…DARLING DRIVER DIAMOND CUTTER X2! Chris Cole is eliminated. Davin steps back through the ropes, as LD comes into the ring. Darling and LD lock up and LD immediately goes to work on the bad shoulder. Davin is STOMPING on the mat trying to get the crowd into it, rooting for Darling. Williams has a strong hammerlock locked in, and Darling is on his knees. Somehow (through the power of the shaky arm) gets up and hits some elbows into the gut of LD, who finally has to break the hold. Darling IMMEDIATELY hits a SWINGING NECKBREAKER and covers, that gets 2. He quickly moves to LD’s legs, and he’s looking for the DARLING MONEY CLIP, but before he can turn LD, Williams kicks him DI-REC-A-LY in the bad shoulder, forcing Darling to let go. He whips Darling to the ropes. BLIND TAG by Moreland. KICK-WHAM-ROBERTS DDT from LD. REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE FROM DAVIN!!!! COVER! 1, 2, 3! LD Williams is eliminated Your Winners in 36:41 by Pinfall, Run DEA (and Bunny) Post match, all of Run DEA flood into the ring celebrating as LD powders out. Lots of pointing at other people and arm-raising going on to “Ladies and Gentlemen”. Davin grabs a mic. Davin: You know, there’s been a lot said about me and a lot done to me over the last few weeks, and it’s possible that I may have brought some of that upon myself. Maybe I just lost sight as to what’s important. I am OOWF, I am Team Rick, but most importantly, I am Run DEA, and I will NEVER forget that again. RUN DEA 4 LIFE! Davin gets his first steady cheers in a month as he drops the mic. Everyone’s hugging and shit and it’s pretty much just a sickeningly sweet scene. After the match, Drink & Destroy, Stank, DH Magnusson, Outback Jack and Spin Hansen make their way to the ring and take part in the celebration. Soon the rest of Team Rick join them in an impressive display of solidarity. While the entire group gathers together to pose for a picture, Attitude Adjuster slips back into the ring with his tennis racket. He spots Firewoman and takes aim, and is about to permanently part her hair, when Stank shoves her out of the way and the tennis racket crashes down on Stank’s head, sending him to one knee. Attitude Adjuster initially has a look of horror on his face, but that quickly turns to a self-satisfied smirk at the sight of an old enemy laid out on the mat. The rest of Team Rick quickly turns around and sees what has happened, and AA decides now is the time to go. He dives between the ropes and high tails it up the ramp before anyone can get to him. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Hell On Earth IV/4 Year Anniversary Show, Live September 28 from Dayton, Ohio! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! September 17th, from St. Catherine’s, Ontario Canada! For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Jack Quinn Sept 10, 2008 19:14:08 GMT -5 |
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[The Dead storms into Blitz's locker room.]
Blitz: Wha...? Hey! What's u...? Dead: You got your shit ready? Blitz: Of course, why do you ask? Dead: Look, we go into that ring tonight and we beat the living hell out of those two. Blitz: No problem, I... Dead: Shut the fuck up. You just do your job and we'll have no problems. I'm fucking tired of wallowing at the bottom of the card and you aren't gonna fuck this up for me. [The Dead heads back to the door.] Dead: Now hurry up. [Before Blitz can say anything, The Dead slams the door behind him.] Blitz: What's gotten into him?
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Deadly Sept 10, 2008 18:52:14 GMT -5 |
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You only beat us because the booker screwed us over!
Oh, wait...
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wld Sept 10, 2008 13:47:52 GMT -5 |
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Jack Quinn Sept 5, 2008 17:09:34 GMT -5 |
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Wait til you see who gets paid off on the AA 150-1 odds Lucky had.
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DevSop Sept 4, 2008 18:06:49 GMT -5 |
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OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Burnside Harbor, Nunavut Canada WORDS GREATEST FAG TEAM vs. CAPE TOWN CANNIBALS Mel Creech is YOUR Referee! Ryan and TNA start. The two charge each other and start brawling wildly, but Ryan gets the upper hand and backs TNA to the corner. Creech calls for a break, but it takes a four count to back Ryan away. Ryan makes the mistake of giving Creech a dirty look and TNA makes good his escape- hopping up to the top rope and vaulting off Ryan's back to dive for his corner. WWE tagged in, Ryan seems unfazed. WWE charges and Ryan drops him quickly with a drop toe hold. WWE is momentarily stunned, allowing Ryan to stomp WWE a few times and kick him in the ribs to flip him over. Ryan poses and puts one foot on WWE, but only gets a one count. Ryan helps WWE to his feet and slings him to a corner, then charges in with a shoulder block. Once, twice, WWE finally gets a fist down on Ryan's back to get him to stop. Ryan staggers back, holding the back of his head, then tags in MacCappington! WWE flees for the opposite corner and tags in TNA. MacCappington strides to the center of the ring and gestures for TNA to attack. TNA hops up on the top rope and springboards toward MacCappington, who catches him readily. Caps then puts TNA on his shoulders and Samoan drops him (diss diss diss). He follows quickly with a leg drop and a cover, which surprisingly only gets two. MacCappington then hauls TNA to his feet and slings him across the ring, catching him on the rebound for a Gorilla press slam. WWE charges Caps and gets the same treatment - RIGHT ON TOP OF TNA! Caps notes the mess, nods to Ryan and heads for a corner. Ryan climbs his corner and while Caps poses, Ryan splashes the prone CTC. He rolls clear JUST as MacCappington splatters them for good with the SPIRIT OF PACIFIC HEIGHTS! This one is over! WINNERS in 5:12 – Worlds Greatest Fag Team ERIC O’MAC vs. OUTBACK JACK Fans we're going LIVE to our cameras in the back, where we're getting reports of some kind of disturbance... The ninja cameraman is JOGGING~! through the halls of the Nunavut National Civic Memorial Convention Armory, trying to focus on the door of the mobile DESTROYITARIUM when the body of OUTBACK JACK explodes through the door, slamming into the opposite wall. ERIC O'MAC steps through the door frame, an evil grin of his face. Eric O'Mac: Another has-been? ANOTHER HAS-BEEN?!?!? Outback is using the wall to pull himself up to his feet, when O'Mac charges across the hallway, blasting Jack with a running knee to the head before pulling him up by the head, paintbrushing him as he does so. O'Mac slaps a quick side headlock on the big Aussie, dragging him down the hall to the catering table. Eric O'Mac: You hungry, Jack? You should be sure to have a good meal...You're getting a TITLE SHOT tonight! O'Mac slams Jack's head into the table repeatedly, sending food flying in all directions. Off in the distance, you can hear the pained screams of Davin Moreland and D.H. Magnusson. When O'Mac pulls Jack's head up, it's hard to tell the marinara sauce from the fresh blood. Eric O'Mac: Need something to wash that down with? C'mon, Jack! O'Mac sends Jack's face towards the coffee carafes, but Jack pulls up short and reverses the throw, sending O'Mac into the twin coffee makers. O'Mac HOWLS in pain as the scalding hot coffee drenches his face, grabbing at his eyes as Jack slams one of the overturned coffeemakers down on his head. Outback Jack: Don't you EVER threaten me with coffee, mate - some things aren't funny! Jack takes his turn ramming O'Mac's face into the edge of the catering table, before grabbing a handful of hair and dragging out to the ENTRANCE RAMP, to the approving roar of the crowd. Eric throws a few feeble punches at Jack's midsection as Jack drags him down the ramp, but the Big Aussie responds with a THUNDEROUS DDT on the ramp! Back to his feet, Jack rips the PHWF World Title from the waist of the bloodied O'Mac and shoves it at the incoming referee before pulling O'Mac back up to his feet and dragging him towards the ring. Jack makes his way to the bottom of the ramp, O'Mac in tow and it looks like this one is about to get officially under w- NO! From the headlock O'Mac lifts the big Aussie the a side pickup, a mid-air turn, and O'Mac POWERBOMBS Outback Jack on the base of the ramp! Both men are down, both men are bloodied...Hell, both men might be dead! After several long moments, O'Mac stirs, painfully hauls himself to his feet and rolls the lifeless body of Outback into the ring. A shocked Sterling Glaw calls for the bell half-heartedly as O'Mac drops over Outback Jack, and this one is going to be over just as soon as it's officially started. 1... 2... NO~! Outback Jack rolls the shoulder at 2.99999, and O'Mac is livid! Front mount, and he's raining blows down of the head and face of Jack, before trying to choke the life out of him! Glaw reaches 4 in his count before Eric breaks the choke, moving instead to a trifecta of brutal knee drops to the forehead of Outback Jack! Quick cover... 1... 2... Outback again rolls the shoulder! O'Mac looks incensed as he hauls Jack to a vertical base, and begins yelling to the timekeeper about his belt before loading Jack into position for the SMACKDOWN...But Jack begins firing elbows into the the side of Eric's head, and countering with the STROKE~! Outback Jack is FIRED UP~ as he gets to his feet, laying the boots to O'Mac! Pickup, hard whip in the ropes, spine buster! Jack quick to his feet, hops onto the second turnbuckle and delivers a Hart Elbow! Pickup, whip into the turnbuckle, and Jack DESTROYS Eric O'Mac with a charging elbow! O'Mac falls to the mat in a heap, and Outback Jack pounces on him locking in the CROC HUNTER! But he's in the ropes! Glaw sees it and immediately points it out to Jack, who picks up O'Mac, throws a knee into his midsection and looks to the crowd signaling for the BOOMERANG! The big Aussie hits the nearside ropes, bounces off the far side ropes, and gets nothing but an armful of air as O'Mac drops to knee! Jack's momentum carries him back into the ropes, and as he comes back off O'Mac launches from the kneeling position with a battering ram head butt to the groin! Jack crumples to the mat and Eric grabs his legs, flipping over with a natural bridge! 1... 2... O'Mac has a hold of the ropes, but Glaw is out of position! 3! Eric O'Mac has stolen another win! WINNER via PINFALL in 6:01 (Official) ERIC O'MAC STANK vs. CONCRETE TG vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK The crowd is hesitant about this one; on paper it should be a bloodbath, but Stank and Moose have been putting on Steamboat/Flair clinics of late, so they’ve brought their garbage to throw just in case. “Scarecrow” by Ministry fires up and Moosehead Jack makes his way down to the ring with a smirk on his face, ignoring the fans and their boos. He nods to Senior Referee Mel Creech before slumping in the corner. “Skin” by Nonpoint starts up next and Stank comes out complete with pyro and a bunch of cheers. He slaps hands with fans on the way to the ring, but appears to be hiding a limp; courtesy of Davin Moreland at Judgment Eve III. He’s actually getting even louder cheers than usual, probably because of that. “With Jupiter in Mind” by Joe Satriani finally comes over the PA, and Concrete Takaken Gryfon appears as the top of the ramp with full pyro and to his usual huge ovation. As usual, Crete takes plenty of time with the fans before rolling into the ring. Creech decides to put an end to the festivities and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! IMMEDIATELY at the bell Stank attacks Crete before he can even get his cape off. Solid Haymaker Right Hands are connecting repeatedly to Crete’s grill. Stank even uses the cape to try to choke out Crete, which Stank uses the entire (slow) five count to do. Stank tosses the cape into the crowd and pulls Crete up…ONE Power bomb…TWO power bombs…STANKBOMB! Crete might be dead! The camera cuts to Moose, still slumped in the corner, mock-clapping the action. Stank poses for the crowd who responds with a huge pop. Stank picks up a woozy Crete again…STANK-U! That might be it! Stank poses again, and before he can cover, out of NOWHERE Moose comes lumbering out of the corner and clips Stank in the back of the knee, and that gets a whole lot of boos. Stank tries to get back up and Moose DRILLS him with another Chop Block. Stank gets up again, and Moose AGAIN DRILLS him with a vicious Chop Block and Stank screams in pain. Moose hits a couple of elbow drops right on the bad knee. Moose pulls Stank up, and he can only stand on one leg. Moose DRAGON SCREWS the bad leg, and that might do it for Stank. Moose covers, 1, 2… Crete hits the classic double axe handle to break the count, and now it’s CRETE’S turn to get involved. Crete starts PEPPERING Moose with lefts and rights, and even throws in a HEROES TAUNT for good measure. Crete pulls up Moose and hits a SICK Neck breaker. Russ: High-Impact Move from Crete! Crete covers, and that gets 2. Crete pulls Moose to his feet and hits a SNAP MARE TAKEOVER followed by a BIG KICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Moose is WOOZY! Crete pulls Moose up again and places him on the top turnbuckle. Crete isn’t going in front, but gets behind Moose…What is he doing? Crete locks in a waist lock. Russ: Oh, BAH GAWD DON’T DO IT! RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE TO THE FLOOR! (Actually, Moose ate some barrier on that one). The crowd rightly begins a “Holy Shit!” chant. Holy Shit indeed. Moose is busted WAHDE open as a result of how he hit the barrier, and Crete’s in rough shape too. But, Crete is able to get to his knees, and crawls under the ring. He comes out with a table, a trash can, and a baseball bat. Moose starts to stir, so Crete hustles over and VAN DAMINATES THE TRASH CAN in Moose’s grill. Ow, that thing’s got a HUGE dent. Crete pulls up Moose again, and pulls him near the table. He’s looking for the CEMENT MIXER, and through the table! He lifts Moose up and HITS THE CEMENT MIXER THROUGH THE TABLE! Well, kinda, because as Crete was putting Moose through the table, Stank hit a SUICIDE PLANCHA OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE THROUGH THE TABLE! Russ: OH, MY SWEET, BAH GAWD, BAH GAWD, I THINK HE KILLED THEM, BAH GAWD, HE MUST BE DEAD, LOOK AT THE CARNAGE! BAH GAWD THE CARNAGE! Suzyn Waldman: OF ALL THE DRAMATIC THINGS…I’VE EVAH SEEN… The crowd is “HOLY SHIT”-ing all over themselves, and Mel Creech’s eyes bug out when he looks at the carnage. He decides he should probably start counting; so since all three wrestlers have been out for about 20 seconds; Creech counts “1”. Crete is up first at “3” (30 seconds or so later), and Stank is up immediately after. They’re a bit separated, so they slowly walk toward each other, with Crete apparently declaring his innocence. Stank gets in Crete’s general vicinity, and Moose pops up immediately out of nowhere. Almost on instinct, Moose hits the HEARTPUNCH which Crete IMMEDIATELY combos into a TIGER DRIVER~! The crowd (well some of them) pop for the Crete and Moosey moment. That’s short-lived however, as Moose’s smile turns into a smirk, and Crete surprised look turns into a scowl. Then, they two bloody competitors just start WHALING on each other in HOCKEY FIGHT FASHION (repeated haymaker right hands by both people). Both noses get busted in the exchange, and finally, Moose gets the better of the exchange and knocks Crete to the floor; right by the conveniently Baseball Bat. Crete comes up FIRING with the Baseball Bat, but Moose saw it coming and ducks, and Crete never sees Stank charging at Moose, and CRACKS STANK IN THE HEAD WITH THE BASEBALL BAT! Crete immediately drops the bat screaming “NO!” and goes to check on Stank. Moose gathers himself, literally laughing out loud, and grabs the discarded baseball bat. CRACK~! Moose SHATTERS the bat on the back of Crete’s skull. Moose is laughing uncontrollably as he rolls Stank into the ring for the academic 3-count. WINNER in 18:49 by PINFALL…MOOSEHEAD JACK TYTAN vs. TYSON KINCAID vs. FIREWOMAN vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – Winner Gets an Onslaught Title Shot Next Week Tyson Kincaid enters the ring first, looking distracted. He is followed by Firewoman, who warms up in her corner. Seamus McNasty is out next, and immediately gets in Tyson's face. They are about to come to blows when Tytan's music hits. Tytan sprints down the aisle and slides right into the ring. Tyson and Seamus turn to attack Tytan, but get leveled by a double clothesline. Tytan turns toward Firewoman, but Seamus and Tyson each chop block a leg, driving him to the mat. Tyson rolls to the outside and Firewoman steps onto the apron so referee Davis Hightower calls for the bell. Seamus continues the attack on Tytan, stomping away before mounting him and raining down punches. He pulls Tytan to his feet and slings him to the ropes. Tytan ducks a clothesline attempt and comes off the opposite ropes with a flying clothesline that level Seamus. Tytan rolls to his feet and goes back to the ropes, driving a knee into Seamus’ throat. He rolls Seamus over and locks on a Crippler Cross face. He cinches it in, but Seamus refuses to tap. Tyson comes in and kicks Tytan in the head, causing him to release the hold. Tytan gets to his feet and lunges at Tyson, who sidesteps and drops to the mat to avoid Firewoman, who levels Tytan with a springboard dropkick. As Hightower steps in and sends Tyson and Firewoman out of the ring, Tytan gets to his feet and gets speared into the corner by Seamus. Seamus delivers a series of punches, then whips Tytan into Tyson’s corner, following him in with a brutal clothesline and making the tag. Tyson springboards off the top rope into a DDT on Tytan, floating over and hooking the leg. Tytan kicks out with authority at two. Tyson goes to the ropes as Tytan gets up and staggers him with a dropkick. He tries for a bulldog, but Tytan reverses into a sidewalk slam. Tytan pulls Tyson to his feet and plants him with a delayed vertical suplex. Tytan hits the ropes, but Firewoman slaps him across the back, tagging herself in. Tytan turns to attack her, but Tyson catches him from behind with a dropkick and Firewoman pulls the top rope down, sending Tytan out to the floor. Firewoman enters the ring and motions for a lockup. Tyson hesitates before locking up, and almost immediately pulls free and backs away. Firewoman taunts him into trying it again, and again Tyson pulls away. Firewoman is livid and gets in Tyson's face, finally rearing back and slapping the taste out of his mouth. Tyson glares and Firewoman smirks. They lock up a third time and Tyson snaps her over with an arm drag, then goes to the corner and tags in Seamus. Seamus, shaking his head, strides across the ring and grabs Firewoman in a headlock. She tries twice to shoot him off, to no affect. Seamus takes her to the mat and maintains the headlock. Firewoman struggles, and manages to get her legs under her and roll Seamus onto his shoulders for a one count, forcing him to break the hold. Seamus rolls to his feet and eats a kick to the face, then Firewoman kicks him rather low and spikes him with a DDT. She covers, but rolls off at one as Tytan comes in with a diving elbow that hits Seamus. Firewoman rolls to her feet and attacks Tytan as he gets up, but Tytan bats aside her punches and scoops her up for the Corporate Fallout. Before he can drop her Tyson is in with a spear and Firewoman shifts her weight, coming down behind Tytan and dragging him into a Backstabber. Tyson rolls to his feet and Seamus hits him with a clothesline, sending him over the ropes to the floor. Seamus turns around and Fire levels him with a super kick. She covers, but Hightower is busy getting Tytan out of the ring. She storms over to argue, which give Tytan the opportunity to step onto the apron and tag himself into the match. Tytan stalks over to Seamus and pulls him off the mat, driving him into the corner with punches. He Irish whips Seamus, putting on the brakes and driving him back into the corner, then backs up a few steps and avalanches him. Seamus stumbles out of the corner and Tytan plants him with a belly-to-belly suplex. Tytan hooks the leg, but Seamus kicks out just before the three. Tytan pulls Seamus to his feet and Seamus catches him with a shot to the midsection. Seamus staggers him with a few brutal right hands, then picks Tytan up and drives him into the corner, reaching out to tag Tyson. Tyson and Seamus attack Tytan in the corner, then whip him to the ropes and plant him with a flapjack. Hightower orders Seamus out and Tyson covers, but Tytan throws him off at one. Tytan brushes aside Tyson's punches and kicks and picks Tyson up in a two handed choke and drives him to the mat. He is about to cover, but both Seamus and Firewoman enter the ring. Tytan lunges at Firewoman, who dives forward and rolls past him, kicking out his knee on the way by. Tytan staggers, and Seamus levels him with a big boot. Seamus batters Tytan as Fire makes a cover on Tyson, who throws her off. Firewoman rolls out to the apron as Tyson gets to his feet. Springboard bulldog! Fire rolls to her feet and grabs Tyson's arms – Curb stomp! Fire looks around and sees Tytan and Seamus slugging it out against the ropes. She hits the ropes and nails the big men with a dropkick, sending them over the ropes to the outside. Firewoman jumps to the top rope – BFE to Tyson! Fire hooks the leg and Hightower slides into place to count the three. WINNER, in 18:26, Firewoman. SPIN HANSEN vs. CHRIS COLE vs. POE vs. DAMON WRATHE – Winner Gets an Intercontinental Title Shot at the PPV Four way brawl starts us off, with Damon and Cole pairing off outside the ring as Spin and Poe throw haymakers inside. Spin pounds Poe back to a corner, but gets blindsided by Cole. Cole and Poe team up to put the boots to Spin, but Damon's in and takes them both out with a double clothesline. Damon tosses Spin to the floor for good measure, then measures Poe with a big knee lift. Power slam for Cole gets two, and Spin's back in with some words for Damon. Spin drills Cole with a right hand... and Damon hits him with a harder one. Spin and Damon take turns upping the ante on Cole until CC does a Flair Flop in the corner. Damon and Spin turn to each other and have more words, but simultaneously turn and deck Poe as he climbs back in. NOW Spin and Damon have it out, neither man getting the upper hand until Cole clips Spin's knee. Damon pounds on Cole, but Poe's over and breaks that up. Poe backdrops Damon to the floor and goes back to work on Spin. But Cole sneaks up from behind and rolls him up for a quick two count. Poe's not happy with that, but Cole goes to the eyes to stay a step ahead. CC bails to the floor to beat on Damon, and that allows Spin to line up Poe for the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL, but Poe ducks it and gives him a spine buster instead. That gets two. Damon sends Cole into the crowd to turn the tide on the floor, then rolls in and takes down Poe. Spin takes both of THEM out with a Texas-sized dropkick, then slingshots over the top onto everyone for good measure. Spin is the first one up as the referee starts a count, and Cole nails him with a low blow. Damon's up, but Poe grabs him and pulls him to the post. Cole grabs Spin and wants the HEADLINER ON THE FLOOR~! But Poe drills Cole right in the face with a big boot, and Spin lands on top of CC! Poe rolls into the ring as the ref reaches seven. Eight... nine... but Damon's back in just before the ten count. Poe stomps on him, but Damon counters a hotshot attempt with a DDT. One, two, but Spin pulls Damon off from the floor. Spin climbs the apron and he and Damon have it out again, but Poe nails Damon from behind with a shoulder block, sending Spin flailing back onto CC on the floor. And Poe gets a schoolboy rollup on Damon for the THREE COUNT! WINNER in 13:04: POE IHOP & THE AMNESIAC vs. INSANE HOMELESS BUNNY – OOWF Campeonas De Trios Title Match Insane Homeless Bunny comes to the ring, no raps this time though as they appear to be all business. The champions are announced next and they come to the top of the ramp and hold their titles up, mocking the challengers. The start down the ramp and stop about halfway, and SYB motions to the back. What the…..it’s FEZZIK! The monstrous man makes his way out from behind the curtain and takes his spot behind the champs as they make it to the ring. The four men make it to ringside and take their sweet time getting into the ring. Finally the challenges have had enough. Bunny and Justin get running starts like they are going to dive between the ropes, but then they pull up and do that nifty swing-back-into-the-ring move. On the outside, the champs duck for cover, when they stand up and realize that they didn’t leap, they turn back to the ring, just in time to see Carl From Fresno get a running start and leap over the top rope! Carl takes all three out, Fezzik scurries away before he can get taken out. Carl gets to his feet and steps aside, Fezzik comes back and helps his teammates up, as SYB and Skurge get to their feet, Bunny and Sane leap over the top rope and catch them with PERFECT hurracaanas, snapping them over to the floor. The champions look completely unraveled and slide INTO the ring to escape the onslaught. The challengers climb back into the ring as well and SYB marches up to all three of them, threatening their lives and families. The three stand there with a somewhat bemused look on his face, SYB suddenly realizes that his teammates are waiting for him on the apron. Sane catches SYB with a drop kick to the back of the head that sends him to the ropes. On the rebound, Carl catches SYB and lifts him onto his shoulders for a death valley driver, and DRIVES SYB to the mat. Carl covers, but The Amnesiac charges into the ring and breaks up the pin. Carl pulls SYB off the mat and sends him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon. SYB leaps over Carl’s back and hits the ropes, Skurge makes the blind tag into the match. Carl grabs SYB on the rebound and presses him above his head, but Skurge runs in and clips his knee, sending SYB and Carl to the mat. Skurge pulls Carl to his feet, then backs him into the corner and unleashes a barrage of chops. Carl fights back with a forearm to the side of the head staggering Skurge back into the center of the ring. Carl reaches out and tags in Justin Sane, but Skurge regains his composure and catches Sane with a drop kick as he comes to the middle of the ring. Skurge tags in The Amnesiac, and he comes in and grabs Sane, but Justin rakes the eyes, then grabs The Amnesiac’s head and charges into the corner for the Acid Drop, but The Amnesiac lifts him and throws him over the ropes, right at Fezzik! Fezzik catches Sane and sets him on the mat. Sane turns around and challenges Fezzik, so Fezzik grabs his head and SLAMS him in the face with a head but! Justin Sane is dead. Fezzik rolls him back into the ring and The Amnesiac falls across him and gets the one, two, three! WINNERS in 10:09 – IHOP & The Amnesiac ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE vs. ZK DEBEERS – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match Apocalyptic Existence and ZK DeBeers make their way to the ring and wait for the match to start. The OOWF Onslaught champion, Attitude Adjuster, comes out to the top of the ramp and the crowd immediately breaks into a HE’S THE DAD-DY chant. AA looks quite irritated about this and just stands there for a few minutes why the fans chant and laugh. AA slings the title over his shoulder and raises the mic to his mouth to speak, but the fans chant gets even louder. Finally after several more seconds AA speaks: All of you have your fun now. I am sure all of you think this is one great big joke. Well I have news for all of you, and especially YOU Firewoman, I will have the last laugh in all of this. You will ALL see! Now, speaking of laughs, this Onslaught title match tonight, you’re kidding me, right? Apocalyptic Existence and ZK DeBeers. Look, I am going to say it right now, neither of you, hell both of you COMBINED haven’t done enough in your careers to be in the same ring with me. So, this is how it is going to work. The two of you are going to wrestle. I am going to sit at ringside. Whoever wins the match between you two, then I might consider giving you the chance of a lifetime. Referee ring the damn bell. Attitude Adjuster storms down to ring side and opens a chair and takes a seat. Inside the ring, DeBeers tries to attack from behind, but Apocalyptic Existence side steps him and shoves him into the corner and hammers him with shots to the face. AE whips DeBeers across the ring and charges and KILLS DeBeers in the corner with a clothesline. As DeBeers staggers out, AE bounds off the ropes and takes him down with a big clothesline. AE covers and gets a two count. AE Pulls DeBeers up, but DeBeers catches him with a jaw breaker, then drops a knee across his chest. DeBeers pulls AE to his feet and DRIVES him to the mat with a reverse DDT. DeBeers floats over and covers, one, two, WHAM! Attitude Adjuster is in the ring holding a steel chair! He brings it down again across DeBeers back, then kicks him off of Apocalyptic Existence. AE is quickly to his feet, and catches a chair right between the eyes! AE goes down as well! AA takes the next few minutes to administer a BRUTAL beating on both men, leaving them bloody and beaten in the middle of the ring. AA drags them both to the center of the ring and covers them both and gets a dual three count. WINNER in 6:29 and STILL OOWF Onslaught Champion – Attitude Adjuster PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. DEAD & BLITZ – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match The Dead and Blitz head to the ring first to the sounds of Smashing Pumpkins' "Doomsday Clock." The Dead and Blitz mill around in their corner for a moment until “God Bless Texas” fires up and the crowd goes bananas as Phantos & Lucios stroll to ringside. Phantos pauses to high-five the fans along the way, Lucios heads straight into the ring. The Champions remove the belts from their waists and hand them to the official. The Dead and Blitz attack immediately, Blitz spearing Phantos out of the ring and The Dead hits the Close The Casket on Lucios from behind. The bell rings and The Dead covers Lucios. 1…2…NO! Lucios is barely able to get his shoulder up in time. Russ: Bah Gawd, We nearly had new champions there!! The Dead pulls Lucios to his feet and connects with a couple of vicious European uppercuts. Irish Whip for a clothesline. Lucios gets to his feet and gets NAILED with a stiff kick. The Dead scoops Lucios up and hits a Michinoku Driver. A Tag to Blitz, who slingshots in and lands an elbow. Cover nets a 2 count. Blitz pops up and arm drags Lucios across the ring. Lucios reverses an arm bar into a hammerlock and tags in Phantos. Phantos leaps in the ring and starts pounding on Blitz. Elbows, chop-Wooos and finally a knee to the gut have Blitz slumped in the corner. Phantos does the Jeff Hardy Memorial Turnbuckle Handstand Momentum Kick. He drags Blitz away from the corner and tries a springboard twisting moonsault. Blitz rolls away and avoids the contact. He drops an elbow on Phantos and then a DDT. Tag to The Dead. Double backdrop and Phantos gets some serious hang time before he hits the mat. The Dead delivers a snap German suplex and Phantos rolls into a corner. The Dead pounces, delivering a Jeff Hardy Memorial Turnbuckle Handstand Momentum Kick of his own. He drags Phantos out to the middle of the ring. Rolling Thunder! Northern Lights Suplex for a 2 count. Phantos bridges out and gets low-blowed. The Dead attempts a power bomb, but as we all know, You Can’t Power bomb Phantos! Phantos delivers the face plant and crawls over to Lucios. Tag to the big man and he charges in, shoulder tackling The Dead through the ropes. Blitz runs in and eats a big boot. Lucios hoists Blitz up and Border Tosses him OVER the ropes and onto his partner. The crowd fires up big time and Lucios stands there in “Bring it on” stance, waiting for someone to get in the ring. Phantos drops down and pulls The Dead to his feet and rolls him in the ring. Lucios begins to take The Dead to Suplex school. High Delay Vertical. Gordbuster. Slingshot. And finishes it up with a brain buster. Blitz gets to his feet and tries to tag in. Lucios whips The Dead into the corner hard and gestures to Blitz ‘tag him’ Blitz does so gingerly and circles Lucios. Locks up with Blitz and hurls him to the mat. The crowd roars in approval and Lucios beckons Blitz to get to his feet. Lucios grabs Blitz and pulls him to his feet. Gorilla Press Slam! Tag to Phantos who vaults to the top rope, and flies off with the Suicide Leg Drop! Cover for 1…2… And The Dead drags Phantos off his partner. Lucios charges in and all Hell breaks loose! The four men brawl in the ring. Lucios grabs The Dead from behind and tosses him out of the ring. He hoists Blitz on his shoulders and it’s Dropkick Device Time! Phantos soars off the top as The Dead hits the ring and CLOSES THE CASKET on Lucios from behind. Phantos catches air and lands hard. Blitz covers Lucios for a 2 count, but Phantos is able to pull Lucios’ leg onto the rope. The Dead dropkicks Phantos to the floor and follows up behind him. Blitz drags Lucios to the corner and sets him up for the Blitz Flip! NOBODY HOME! And Lucios rolls away. He pops up, sees The Dead and Phantos on the floor and hits the ropes, soaring over the top rope and landing on The Dead. They both crash into the Micronesian Announce Table. Phantos turns around and catches Blitz in mid-air, then rams his back into the ring post. Phantos in the ring, and he drags Blitz to his feet. Standing Dropkick! As Blitz gets back up, a Second Dropkick! Blitz isn’t even to his feet yet when Phantos hits the ropes and Baseball Slide Dropkicks him. Lucios in the ring and tags in. The double whip Blitz into the Ropes. DOUBLE DROPKICK! Lucios covers and this one is over.1…2…3. WINNERS, in 14:28; Phantos & Lucios! ALEXANDER DARLING vs. DH MAGNUSSON – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match It’s title match time here as the Intercontinental Title match is going to be decided between members of Team Rick here. The challenger is a member of Drink & Destroy while the champion is aligned with Run DEA. But in recent weeks, D.H. Magnusson and Alexander Darling have been working together especially where it involved Firewoman and her condition. But both men are focused athletes and this match could turn into a classic or it could turn into something else entirely depending on how they handle themselves. Arcade’s “Calm Before The Storm” starts to play and the challenger, D.H. Magnusson steps out from the back first like all good challengers should do and slaps some hands as he makes his way down and into the ring. He tests the ring ropes out as “There Can Be Only One” booms over the sound system before the long entrance of “Prelude 12/21” followed by “Princes of the Universe” plays. There are three very noticeable things with regards to Alexander’s entrance. First, he has come out alone for this title defense; secondly, his fan favorite status has carried over to North America where he is getting as good a reaction as Magnusson; and finally, there is a noticeable lean in Darling’s walk as it’s quite obvious he is favoring his right shoulder a great deal. Alexander does get into the ring and he takes off his Intercontinental Championship belt and hands it off to Davis Hightower. Magnusson and Darling quickly slap hands as Hightower calls for the bell and we’re underway when Alex and DH lock-up with a collar-and-elbow. The two combatants spin round-and-round until Darling pushes Magnusson to the corner and Hightower calls for a break and shockingly gets a clean one from AD. The match turns into a mat exhibition as DHM and AD go hold for hold and counter for counter and then counters on top of that. There were a few points where DH almost was able to grab a hold of a move that would work on Darling’s shoulder but Alexander was really defensive about it and kept wriggling into different positions to keep it far away from Magnusson. But this finally backfires on Alexander as Magnusson changes strategy and takes what Darling is giving him and he’s able to hit a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Magnusson is keeping Darling grounded at this point with a variety of punches and tosses and he’s really got AD reeling. Darling backs into the corner to try and catch his breath as DHM stalks him. Hightower tries to keep DH away and he looks down at Darling and just shrugs before he starts tearing away with some boots right to Darling’s face. Alexander tries to cover himself up and he’s finally able to get enough room and he’s able to slide to the outside. He starts to take a walk around the ring as Hightower begins a count. The count is broken rather quickly as Magnusson heads to the outside to follow Darling and finally Alexander realizes he’s being stalked and he turns around just in time to see a charging DH and he’s able to get his head down just in time and AD is able to toss DH in a picture perfect back body drop that actually lands Magnusson into the second row and he scatters the fans. Alexander finally seems to realize that this is a lot more serious than he thought and he looks around as he hears the fans start a “Holy Shit” chant. Darling seems to take it in and we see him mouth the words, “You wanna see something worth a holy shit…” Darling hops back into the ring and he climbs the turnbuckle closest to DH who is just starting to stir on the outside. AD is on the top turnbuckle and he takes a deep breath just as DHM gets back to his feet and Darling dives… SOMERSAULT PLANCHA TO THE 2ND ROW… Now there is your “Holy Shit” chant. Both guys finally begin to get up after a minute or two and it looks like Darling is up first and he’s trying to drag DHM back towards the ring but as they get to the barricade DH is starting to fight back and they are brawling and trading punches until DH is able to duck under one and toss AD back over the barricade into the ringside area. Darling lands on his right shoulder and he screams in pain. A scream so loud it echoes through the entire igloo. Magnusson looks concerned, but he isn’t sure what to do as he tries to pick Alexander up and get him into the ring. Darling is crawling away and kicking at DH to keep him away when Samantha Darling and Davin Moreland rush out from the back to check on Alexander. Hightower is trying to decide what to do and he yells down to Alex that he’s thinking of ending the match. ”Over my fucking dead body Hightower. Mags, you don’t want the belt this way…I know you don’t. Gimme 30 seconds, please.” D.H. seems to be weighing the options and he eyes Alexander, he eyes Davin, and then he eyes the Intercontinental Championship Belt before he turns to Alex and nods. ”Do it Davin.” Sam seems really concerned and looks like she’s about to say something as Davin looks between the siblings as they start whispering to one another. ”I’m not going out like this Sam. You know you can help with the pain later. You know this is nothing compared to some of what we’ve been through.” Sam sighs and nods and now it seems like Davin is hesitating for a second before Sam yells at him, “Just do it.” Samantha grabs Alexander from behind as Davin takes a good grasp of his right arm and pulls as hard as he can. The scream inside this very acoustic friendly igloo is deafening and we can see quite a few people cringe. Samantha helps Alexander to his feet and she says she’s going to stay ringside for the rest of the match as Davin heads back again and Alexander gets into the ring. Davis Hightower looks to D.H. Magnusson who nods and we’re back underway here. Alexander rotates his shoulder a few times as he scrambles around the ring trying to avoid Magnusson. Finally they lock up again and once again they wind up in the corner with Alexander going for a clean break but DH reverses position and starts lighting up Alexander with knife hand chops. AD seems to be taking them as best he can and finally he blocks a few and hits a low-bridge dropkick taking out DH at the knee. Alexander finally grabs the advantage in the ring as he drags DHM up to his feet by that same leg he dropkicked and Dragon Screw Leg whip takes DH down to the mat. AD starts using the Flair-based offense as he goes after DH’s knee, in a clean way, though. Alexander has DH hobbling as he looks to lock in the DARLING MONEY CLIP, but DH fights it off and SMALL PACKAGE… 1… 2… Kick out. Both men back to their feet and Darling charges but DH slides out of the way and grabs Alexander in a BACKSLIDE… 1… 2… Another kick out. That’s two close pins by Magnusson and again both men back to their feet as DH is trying to shake his leg to get feeling back and Darling charges once again. And once again DHM gets out of the way and this time he grabs Darling…JERSEY HAMMER. Darling drops like a ton of bricks and Magnusson is on top… 1… 2… 2 and ¾…kick out. Darling is in trouble as Magnusson has all the momentum right now and he picks AD up and it looks like he’s trying for step 1 of Dream Street as he’s fighting Alex into position for the Side Russian Leg sweep but Darling fights it off and he hits the “Here It Is” Driver and goes for a pin of his own… 1… 2… Kick out. Both men quickly struggle to their feet and are slugging it out once again before Darling sends DH to the ropes and tries to follow him in for a quick knee but it looks like DH had the same idea and their knees crack against one another. That had to do more damage to DHM since Darling had been working the knee. Alexander gets to his feet first and he drags Magnusson up and he moves DH around and he uses every ounce of strength in his shoulder to pick DHM up into a suplex position and BRAINBUSTAAAA… Darling makes the cover… 1…DHM gets his leg on the rope 2…Samantha pushes it off NO…Darling picks DH up and looks down at his sister and shakes his head no. The Darling siblings seem to be having a bit of miscommunication and it’s obvious that Alexander doesn’t want to win that way but this discussion has allowed Magnusson to recover and he walks up behind Darling… SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP… D.H. Magnusson is going for DREAM STREET and he is halfway there… He goes to lock in the Dragon Sleeper, but Darling is fighting it and fighting it hard. Finally Darling is able to fight away from the Dragon Sleeper and he reverses Magnusson into position and he picks him up on his shoulders and we can hear him grunt in pain, but he struggles through and locks DHM’s arm around his throat… DARLING DRIVER in the center of the ring… That’s all she wrote. 1… 2… 3. WINNER in 25:57 and STILL INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION… ALEXANDER DARLING. <We cut to the back where we see Phantos and Lucios discussing their match, when an OOWF courier comes up to them> Courier: Uh, Mr. Phantos, Mr. Lucios? Lucios: <looking a little annoyed at being interrupted) WHAT? Courier: Uh…..I am supposed to tell you that there are members of the Nunavut Make a Wish Foundation out back, there are two dying Eskimo children out there that would like to meet you. Lucios:<sighing> Fine, let’s go <Phantos and Lucios head down the halls, and the invisible Ninja Camera man follows them out the door where they stop and look around, seeing no one. Just before the doors close, we see several men dressed in black swoop in and attack> LD WILLIAMS vs. DAVIN MORELAND – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match Davin Moreland makes his way to the ring first, and is greeted by deafening boos. At first he looks a little annoyed by it, then he gets a strange amused look on his face. After his actions at the pay per view, and the fact that he is facing Canada’s own LD Williams, it seems like this would be par for the course. Davin steps between the ropes and bounces off the ropes a few times while the champion is announced. LD comes to the top of the ramp and the roof nearly comes off the arena. LD stands and basks in the glory for a moment, acknowledging the crowd and such. He makes his way to the ring and steps through the ropes and holds the title high in the air, and once again, the ovation he gets is deafening. The referee takes the title and the two men meet in the center of the ring. The bell rings but neither man moves. As the stare down gets longer and longer the fans start chanting louder and louder. Finally the two start to circle and Davin, being the more powerful of the two pushes LD back into the corner. The referee calls for a clean break, and gets it, but not before Davin picks LD up and sets him on the top rope. LD is clearly annoyed by this. Davin walks back to the middle of the ring, LD leaps off the turnbuckle and charges to the middle and rattles Davin’s teeth with an open hand slap across the face. Davin slowly straightens himself up and looks at LD while he is rubbing his cheek and lets out a little laugh, then takes a mighty swing at LD, but Williams ducks and catches Davin with an atomic drop that sends him to the ropes. On the rebound LD catches Davin with a hip toss, then connects with a dropkick to the back of his head as he sits up. Moreland gets to his feet and falls back into the corner. Williams charges in and catches Davin in the corner with a clothesline. Davin starts to fall, but LD picks him up and sets him on the top, then climbs up himself. Williams grabs Davin and takes him over with a superplex. LD floats over and covers, but he can only get a one count. Williams pulls Davin to his feet and grabs a side head lock, but Moreland quickly reverses that to a belly to back suplex, dropping the champ right on the back of his head. Davin gets to his feet first and keeps Williams on the mat with a boot right to the jaw. Davin pulls LD off the mat and scoops him up and hangs him in the corner with the tree of woe, then slips out of the ring and grabs Williams’ head and pulls back, trying to snap LD in half. Williams will not give up, and by the time the referee gets to nine, Davin breaks the hold and slides back into the ring. Moreland gets a running start and nails Williams in the face with a sky high drop kick. Davin frees LD from the tree and covers, but LD rolls his shoulder at two. Davin pulls Williams to his feet and sends him to the ropes, and follows him, as Williams rebounds off the ropes, Davin KILLS him with a clothesline that sends him over the top rope to the floor. Moreland follows Davin to the outside and scoops him up and plants him on the floor, then climbs onto the apron and springs off the bottom rope and hits a PERFECT moonsault onto LD on the outside! The crowd erupts into a HOLY SHIT chant as Davin pulls LD off the floor and rolls him back into the ring. Davin climbs to the second rope and leaps, driving his elbow into LD’s throat, then covers, hooking the leg hard, but LD kicks out before the three count. Davin keeps Williams on the mat and stretches his arm out and repeatedly drives his knee into LD’s arm. LD works to his feet and Moreland drops him to his knees with an arm wringer, then reverses that into a hammerlock into a chicken wing! Will LD quit? The referee asks him repeatedly, but he will not quit. Davin pulls him to his feet and grabs the other arm and now it’s a FLYING DOUBLE CHICKEN WING! LD is in serious trouble now! The referee looks like he is about to call for the bell when Davin gets just a little too close to the ropes and LD is able to push off the rope, sending both men to the mat. Williams slides under the bottom rope and kneels on the floor trying to get the feeling back in his arms. When he gets to his feet Davin charges across the ring and tries a baseball slide, but LD catches his legs as he slides, and spins Davin head first into the guard rail! Davin’s head thunks off the steel and echoes across the arena. His eyes roll back in his head a bit as LD grabs him and hefts him back into the ring. Williams covers, but Davin kicks out at two. LD pulls Davin up and tries a suplex, but Moreland slips out of it and rolls LD up from behind for another two count. LD kicks out, sending Davin to the ropes. On the rebound he steps over LD and hits the opposite ropes. LD catches him on the rebound with a kick to the midsection, then WHAM! DDT! LD rolls Moreland over, one, two, thre…..NO! Moreland kicked out! LD is stunned, but he pulls a groggy Moreland to his feet and throws him out of the ring, but Davin lands on the apron. LD steps out on the apron and the two men fight, exchanging chops and kicks. Finally LD grabs Davin and knees him in the mid section and calls for the CANADIAN DESTROYER OFF THE APRON! But Davin back drops out of it! LD shows his athleticism by landing on his feet behind Moreland, but Davin grabs Williams and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER OFF THE APRON!!! That’s it, Williams is dead. Moreland gets to his feet and rolls LD under the bottom rope, then – still trying to clear the cobwebs himself, slides under the bottom rope and covers, hooking the leg, one, two, thre……NO! Williams rolls his arm at the last second. Davin sits in the middle of the ring too stunned to speak. Both men slowly get to their feet and exchange weak shots in the middle of the ring. Davin takes a wild swing, but LD ducks and hits an atomic drop that sends Davin to the corner. Davin climbs the turnbuckle and turns and leaps and hits a perfect cross body block! But LD rolls through and hooks both legs, but only gets a two count. Once again both men struggle to their feet, this time though Moreland catches Williams with a spinning heel kick that nearly takes the champ’s head off his shoulders. Moreland heads to the corner and climbs to the top again, this time however, Williams gets to his feet and leaps for the ropes, knocking Moreland off balance and crotching him on the top! Williams climbs to the second rope, grabs Davin’s head and repeatedly slams him on the back of the head with head butts, then hooks him and hits a DRAGON SUPLEX FROM THE SECOND ROPE! Davin lands HARD on the back of his head, and both men have their shoulders down as the referee counts one, two, then just before three, Williams manages to bridge to get his shoulders up and gets the three count! WINNER in 30:03 and STILL OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – LD Williams! Williams collapses in the corner with his title and watches as Moreland struggles to his feet. He is barely standing when ten men, all masked and all dressed in black, hit the ring and DECIMATE Moreland. Moreland tries to fight back to his feet, but each time he is almost there, someone knocks him back down. One of the masked men, a very large man with a noticeable limp, pulls Davin up and hits a Death Valley Driver! One of the smaller ones climbs to the top rope and hits an inverted 360 corkscrew splash. Each of the masked men gets a few more shots in, then they slowly leave the ring leaving Davin gasping for breath in the middle of the ring. Davin struggles to his feet and watches them disappear through the crowd. Davin screams for them to come back and get some, but none even so much as turn around. Davin turns back around in the center of the ring and LD Williams explodes out of the corner and SLAMS Moreland in the face with the title. Davin falls to the mat like he has been shot, and blood runs from a cut on his forehead. LD stands over Davin staring down at him and slowly raises the title over his head as the fans erupt. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Hell On Earth IV/4 Year Anniversary Show, Live September 28 from Dayton, Ohio! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! September 10th, from Steinbach, Manitoba Canada! For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Jack Quinn Sept 3, 2008 19:00:28 GMT -5 |
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Firewoman stands before the OOWF banner to be interviewed by SFJ42.
SFJ42: It's certainly been a big week for you, Firewoman. You've had two very good matches with Attitude Adjuster, but the biggest news by far is that he's the father of your baby. Do you have any comment? FW: No, I have no comment. And apparently, neither does he. I would think most men would have something to say upon finding out they're going to be a father. It just shows you that my initial decision to keep him out of it would have been just fine as he's apparently decided to do that, himself. But Bennett had to go stick his nose in things that don't concern him. But it doesn't matter, there's nothing I want or need from Attitude Adjuster. SFJ42: I know Davin outfitted your nursery for you, but really? There's nothing you want from the father of-- FW: Oh yes. I guess there is one thing. Firewoman looks directly into the camera. FW: The Onslaught Championship belt. And I intend to get it, Daddy-o. SFJ42: But to do that you'll have to win your match this week, and you have three opponents. FW: I do, and good opponents they are. But it doesn't matter. That title is mine. It was taken from me; I never lost it. SFJ42: Tytan has made some very pointed comments about wrestling in your condition. FW: Tytan needs to mind his own business. My doctors have cleared me, and that's all he needs to know. But seriously, Tytan. You accuse me of soap opera antics? Hooded secret men? Missing mentors? People in comas? That's a week on Young and the Restless. Get over yourself. SFJ42: And what about your other opponents. Tyson Kincaid seems to indicate you two have some sort of sordid past... FW: Tyson Kincaid is delusional, and suffers from selective memory. SFJ42: But-- FW: Look, of the three opponents, Seamus is the only one who doesnt seem to give a damn about wrestling a woman and lacks the concerns the other two have. Which is just fine with me. We can eliminate them early and then have a real match. That would sparkle with me nicely. Firewoman storms off. SFJ42: Back to you, Russ and Razz.
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Fire-Babe Sept 3, 2008 12:36:33 GMT -5 |
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The Jewish Cunthead Aug 31, 2008 22:59:45 GMT -5 |
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*OOC* That's true - without you there's no Princess Bride shout out
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The Jewish Cunthead Aug 31, 2008 22:55:26 GMT -5 |
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Moose is lying, and he's the one who voted for Crete
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Concrete TG Aug 29, 2008 18:23:43 GMT -5 |
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LD WILLIAMS vs. SPIN HANSEN – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Spin Hansen makes his way to the ring first, he has the gash above his ear sewn up and appears to have the equilibrium problems from his earlier match taken care of, but do you think that might possibly be a target for LD? The OOWF World Heavyweight Champion LD Williams is announced, and he makes his way to the ring. As LD steps between the ropes, Spin charges across the ring and attacks. Spin catches LD with a knee lift that sends the champ back out of the ring to the floor. Spin follows and slams LD back first into the guard rail. Williams staggers a bit and Spin scoops him up and plants him on the floor with a slam. Spin pulls LD to his feet and rolls him under the ropes, follows and immediately covers, but LD kicks out after just one. Spin pulls LD to his feet and sends him to the ropes but lowers his head a moment too soon and LD catches him with a kick to the chops that stands Spin up, then takes him down to the mat with a clothesline. LD remains on the mat for a moment, grabbing his back in pain. Both men get to their feet, and LD tries a punch but Spin blocks it and grabs LD and head buts him right between the eyes. LD staggers around the ring and Spin hits an enzuguri that sends LD to the mat. Hansen drives a knee into LD’s back then pulls him back into a bow and arrow trying for the submission, but LD refuses to submit. After several seconds Spin releases the hold and LD crawls to the corner and sits against the turnbuckles holding his back in pain. Spin gets to his feet and charges into the corner, driving his knee into LD’s skull. Williams crumbles to the mat and Spin pulls him to the middle of the ring and covers, but LD rolls his shoulder at two. Spin pulls LD to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a double sledge to the face. LD drops to one knee and Spin bounds off the ropes and takes the champ to the mat with a combination clothesline bulldog, shoots the half nelson and rolls LD over for another two count. Spin shows a bit of frustration at not being able to keep LD down, and pulls him up once again and sets him on the top rope. Spin climbs onto the bottom rope and he and LD exchange punches and chops. LD rocks Spin with several shots to the head, and it looks like Spin is about to fall off the ropes when he grabs the back of Williams’ head and SLAMS him in the face with a head but! Williams rocks back on the ropes and Spin grabs him and hits a fall away muscle buster! The champ is out! Spin crawls across the ring and hooks the leg, one, two, thre….NO! Williams reaches out and grabs the bottom rope. The fans celebrate a bit prematurely, and Spin cannot hide his disappointment. He hauls Williams to his feet and tries a vertical suplex, but Williams slips out of his grip and lands behind Spin and shoves him to the ropes. On the rebound, it appears LD tried a shoulder block, but he and Spin end up colliding head first. Both men fall to the mat dazed and the referee starts the ten count of doom. Williams crawls to the ropes and pulls himself up, Spin slowly gets first to one knee, then to his feet. He staggers around and finally sees Williams against the ropes and charges, but LD backdrops Spin over the top rope! Spin lands on his feet on the apron, and immediately charges with a clothesline, but LD ducks. Spin stops short of crashing into the ring post, but LD turns in the ring and catches Spin with a dropkick into the back of the head that sends him face first into the steel, then to the floor. The camera catches up with Spin and we see he has been busted wide open. Williams leaves the ring and leaps off the apron and drives an elbow into Spin’s chest, then hammers him with shots to the face. LD pulls Spin to his feet and starts to whip him toward the guard rail, then reverses it and sends him shoulder first into the stairs. Spin falls to the floor grabbing his shoulder, but LD doesn’t give him a second to recover, instead pulling him up and slamming him shoulder first into the steel before rolling him under the ropes into the ring. Williams is quick to follow and he traps Spin in a chicken wing and tries for the submission that way, but Spin refuses to give up. Williams keeps the pressure on, but Spin finally makes it to the ropes, forcing the break. LD pulls Spin to his feet and sends him to the ropes, and stops him cold with a kick to the mid section, then takes to Spin to the mat and traps him in a Fujiwara arm bar, but once again Spin makes it to the ropes forcing the break. Williams is to his feet first, he waits for Spin to get to his feet then charges, but Spin side steps and pushes Williams to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a thunderous spinebuster! Spin grabs his shoulder in pain giving Williams a precious few seconds to recover. By the time Spin covers, LD is able to roll his shoulder just before the three count. Both men are very slow to their feet, Spin has to be exhausted from his earlier match, and Williams has taken a pretty good beating in this one. Spin grabs Williams and buries a knee into his midsection, then tries a whip to the corner, but Williams reverses it and sends Spin crashing chest first into the corner, as Spin staggers backward, LD grabs him and hits a DRAGON SUPLEX with a bridge! One, Two, THREE! Williams gets the three count just before Spin kicks out! WINNER in 28:41 and STILL OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – LD Williams Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Judgment Eve III, Live August 31 from Qeqetarsauq, Greenland! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! September 3rd, from Burnside Harbor, Nunavut Canada! For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Jack Quinn Aug 27, 2008 19:08:12 GMT -5 |
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<Stank STORMS into Rick's office only to find SFJ#6 there.>
SFJ#6 - He's not here. Stank - WHERE is HE Allison!? SFJ#6 - I don't know, but I wanted to get your comments on the alleged bounty put on you and your match tonight against the man who is to collect on that bounty. <Stank looks around Rick's office. Soon Crete follows him inside.> Stank - You want my comments, Allison...? Why don't you ask HIM! CTG - Stank PLEASE listen... We're all on the SAME side! Stank - SHUT UP CRETE! Ally, YOU tell RICK I'm looking for him! CTG - Citizen Stank... Stank - LEAVE me ALONE, CRETE! FUCK look at the time! Got damn it I got a match! FUCK! <Stank leaves with Crete following him still making an effort to salvage his tenuous relationship with the big man.>
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blownspot Aug 27, 2008 19:06:38 GMT -5 |
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OOWF Rankings for 08/20/08[/u]
OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – LD Williams (+16, 30-14) 1. Alexander Darling – OOWF Intercontinental Champion (+4, 19-15) 2. Attitude Adjuster – OOWF Onslaught Champion (+15, 23-  3. Davin Moreland (+14, 31-17) 4. F. Fonzworth MacCappington III (+13, 32-19) 5. Chris Cole (+12, 23-11) 6. Eric O’Mac (+11, 23-12) 7. Moosehead Jack (+10, 24-14) 8. Skurge (+8, 21-13) 9. Firewoman (+7, 27-20) 10. The Dead (+7, 25-18) 11. DH Magnusson (+6, 31-25) 12. Phantos (+6, 29-23) 13. Tytan (+6, 11-5) 14. Spin Hansen (+4, 30-26) 15. Lucios (+4, 28-24) 16. Seamus McNasty (+4, 25-21) 17. Damon Wrath (+4, 16-12) 18. Poe (+3, 9-6) 19. Tyson Kincaid (+2, 11-9) 20. Stank (+1, 19-18) 21. The Amnesiac (E, 8- 22. ZK DeBeers (-2, 4-6) 23. Concrete TG (-5, 12-17) 24. Blitz (-6, 20-26) 25. Outback Jack (-7, 19-26) 26. Carl From Fresno (-7, 5-12) 27. SYB (-8, 22-30) 28. Justin Sane (-10, 1-11) 29. Ryan Hardcore (-12, 17-29) 30. Bunny (-12, 16-28) 31. Apocalyptic Existence (-12, 5-17) 32. Wu Wu Emaga (-21, 15-36) 33. The Nerve Agent (-22, 8-30) OOWF World Tag Team Title Rankings[/u] OOWF World Tag Team Champions – Phantos & Lucios (+2, 20-18) 1. IHOP (+4, 16-12) 2. The Dead & Blitz (+2, 2-0) 3. Worlds Greatest Fag Team (+1, 4-3) 4. Carl From Fresno & Bunny (-3, 0-3) 5. Cape Town Cannibals (-11, 0-11)
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Jack Quinn Aug 20, 2008 20:02:41 GMT -5 |
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OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Sabugal, Portugal TYTAN vs. THE DEAD vs. SPIN HANSEN – Tournament Royal Elimination Match The three finalists in the Tournament Royal get their introductions and make their way to the ring. The first person pinned is eliminated and will get their title shot tonight. The referee calls for the bell and this one is underway. The Dead immediately attacks, hammering Spin with a forearm to the side of the head, then turning and catching Tytan with a spinning front kick to the face that sends him between the ropes to the floor. Dead will have to use his speed to his advantage to overcome the larger Spin and Tytan. Dead grabs Spin and sends him to the ropes and drops him with a spinning leg lariat and covers, but only gets a one count. Tytan slips back into the ring and drops an elbow across the back of Dead’s head driving him to the mat. Tytan pulls Dead to his feet and shoves him into the corner and charges in for a clothesline, but Dead slips out of the way and Tytan goes chest first into the corner. Dead slips behind Tytan and rolls him up for a quick two count, but Tytan powers out. Spin is back on his feet and grabs Dead from behind as he gets up and tries a release German suplex, but Dead flips through it and lands on his feet. At the same time Tytan gets to his feet in the corner and tries a clothesline on Spin, but Spin ducks and Tytan KILLS Dead with a clothesline. Spin and Tytan put the boots to Dead, then haul him to his feet and send him to the ropes and elevate him with a big back body drop. Dead powders out and Tytan and Spin turn on one another and start hammering away in the center of the ring. Spin gets the better of the exchange and shoves Tytan to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a thunderous spine buster. Spin covers, but Tytan gets his shoulder up at one. Dead slips back into the ring and climbs to the second rope, as Spin gets to his feet Dead leaps and catches him with a bulldog, and quickly rolls him over and covers, but Spin kicks out at two. Dead gets to his feet and climbs the corner, it looks like he is going to try a moonsault on Spin, but Spin gets to his feet and staggers around. Spin and Tytan are both up, and both notice a man in a mysterious black hood standing at the top of the ramp. Spin clears the cobwebs and catches Dead on the top rope. Spin walks under him and pulls Dead out of the corner for a power bomb, but before he can hit the move, Tytan charges across the ring and nearly spears Spin out of his boots! Dead falls off of Spin’s shoulders and guillotines himself on the top rope, Spin falls between the ropes to the floor. Tytan grabs a stunned Dead and pulls him up in a hauls him up for a suplex, once again never taking his eyes off the hooded figure. The mysterious man slowly reaches out and once again gives the thumbs down sign and Tytan drops Dead with a Steiner Screwdriver, hooks the leg, again never looking away from the hooded figure, and gets the one, two, three. WINNERS in 14:08 – Tytan and Spin Hansen. The Dead is eliminated and will face LD Williams tonight DAMON WRATH vs. VASCO DE GAMA XVII Damon Wrath heads to the ring in his return to the OOWF. He faces a monster, a 7 foot, 380 pound Portuguese legend, Vasco de Gama XVII; a direct descendant of the famous 15th century explorer. Wrath is no small man himself, and this should be a real battle. They lock up and Vasco hurls Damon into the corner. Wrath charges back in and tries a shoulder block. Vasco doesn’t budge and Damon staggers backwards. Damon locks up with de Gama again, and this time is quick to put a hammerlock on the giant. Damon rams his shoulder into the arm of de Gama repeatedly and turns it into an arm bar. Damon hits a quick jump kick to the back of Vasco’s head LIGHTS OUT! Damon covers for 1…2… and inexplicably, de Gama gets a shoulder up a nanosecond before the 3 count. Damon hits a HUGE scoop slam, and follows up with a leg drop. Irish whip and Damon hits a diving shoulder block. Damon lifts Vasco onto his shoulders and attempts an F-5, but de Gama slides off. Damon turns and peppers de Gama with lefts, rights, and a huge bionic elbow that staggers the Portuguese giant. Damon hits the ropes and levels Vasco with a clothesline. De Gama rolls to the outside to clear the cobwebs, and Damon follows him in hot pursuit. Wrath catches him from behind and slams Vasco’s head into the ring apron. The giant tries to return the favor, but Damon blocks it and whips Vasco into the ring post. Damon rolls into the ring to break to referee’s count. Damon drags de Gama back in and begins to stomp away on Vasco’s back. Damon whips his man into the ropes and hits a thunderous Belly to Belly Suplex. Russ: That’s Shades of Magnum T.A. Bah Gawd! Wrath pounces on Vasco, locking in a MMA Arm bar. De Gama howls in pain and struggles mightily to reach the ropes. Wrath tightens his grip, and de Gama appears ready to tap, when he makes one last lunge toward to bottom rope. Vasco gets the tip of his finger to touch the rope, and that causes the referee to call for a break. Wrath makes the break, but is PISSED at the referee. He gets in his face and jaws away while de Gama gets back to his feet. Wrath turns around in time to catch de Gama with a HUGE spine buster! Wrath gives the crowd a Batista-esque ‘Thumbs Up- Thumbs Down’ and pulls Vasco to his feet. He loads Vasco on his shoulders and hits the F-5! The ring shifts about 3 inches as de Gama comes crashing to the mat. Wrath makes an academic cover and gets 1…2…3! WINNER; in 6:23; Damon Wrath! Damon celebrates for a few moments and heads for the back. de Gama struggles to his feet, when suddenly out of the crowd, Eric O'Mac charges into the ring, wielding a sledgehammer and a chair. He swings the sledgehammer and connects with a shot to Vasco's back that sends the giant to the floor. Eric stalks his prey, and brings down the chair across Vasco's head repeatedly. Blood begins to flow from the Portuguese giant's skull. Eric looks around, with a wild, vacant glare at the stunned silent crowd. de Gama falls to the concrete floor. Eric grabs the sledgehammer and stands with his foot on de Gama's head. he screams "Croquet anyone?" and swings the sledgehammer high above his head, and then crashing into de Gama's skull like a mallet and a ball. de Gama's skull is ripped open and blood spews out of a NASTY gash. We are talking full blown Muta here. A few people in the front row faint, and EMT’s race to the ring. Eric laughs maniacally and strolls to the back. ERIC O’MAC vs. ZK DEBEERS This should be an interesting match here as we have someone on a vicious warpath in Eric O’Mac set to face someone who seems to have lost his focus here and really needs to get back on track. And he will be coming out first to Kanye West’s “Diamonds from Sierra Leone.” He is the South African diamond trader Zales Kay DeBeers. He steps out slowly and takes his time as he looks around the arena and the fans are now completely indifferent to him. They don’t want to cheer him, but when he’s facing someone who’s become as hated as Eric O’Mac, they really don’t feel the need to boo him either. Zales starts to walk down the aisle and he only makes it about halfway before his music abruptly kicks off and a spotlight focuses on him. Seconds later “The Tower” booms over the speakers and Eric jumps out from the audience and drives DeBeers down onto the steel ramp. Eric is already exhibiting his current path of rage and he is taking ZKD to task for his lack of focus recently. Just bashing his head against the steel ramp as he drags him closer to the ring. He rips ZK’s shirt off and starts choking him with it before snapmaring him over and then planting a vicious kick right to the Zales’ back. Mel Creech is in the ring trying to get Eric to calm down in order to get this match started and Eric is ignoring him as he continues to just lay a beating on DeBeers. Eric finally seems to have had enough of the out of the ring beating and he throws DeBeers into the ring with some force. EOM follows him into the ring and he finally takes off his jacket and we see he has the PHWF World Title around his waist. Eric drags ZK to his feet and puts him right back down to the mat with a scoop slam. He finally takes off the belt and gets into an argument with Creech about how he handles the belt as he hands it over. Creech has had enough and he takes the belt from Eric before turning his back on him and this allows Eric to reach into his tights and pull out a pair of brass knuckles. With the ref’s back still turned, Eric goes back to his old playbook with a new wrinkle…BRASS KNUCKLE SHUFFLE right between ZKD’s eyes and just like Kurt Angle he must have hit a gusher as DeBeers just starts pouring blood. Eric takes off the brass knucks and tosses them out to the floor just before Creech turns around and notices that Zales is busted wide open. Mel looks around to see if any shenanigans have gone on and he doesn’t notice anything but he gives a look to Eric to imply he is keeping an eye on him. Eric blows that off and continues his assault on ZKD. He whips him into the corner and follows him in with a dropkick that nearly takes DeBeers’ head clean off. He picks ZK up and places him on the top turnbuckle. EOM follows him up and throws in a few punches for good measure before hitting a beautiful SUPERPLEX on Zales, but in an amazing feat, Eric doesn’t let go of DeBeers and he rotates him into position and in one fluid motion picks Zales up and plants him with THE SMACKDOWN…thank god this one is mercifully over. Eric makes the cover… 1… 2… And Eric picks DeBeers up off the mat. I don’t know what change has come over Eric in the recent months, but this vicious streak is really taking its toll here on the OOWF roster. He has DeBeers beat and refuses to finish him off. He drags the bloody ZKD up to his feet and he picks him up onto his shoulders in a torture rack position. HOLY SHIT…Eric O’Mac just spun Zales all the way around and killed him dead with a SPINNING POWERBOMB. A squirt of blood actually flew up and hit Eric in the face from the impact of that move. Eric feels the blood and just wipes it off across his chest as he drags ZKD around to get him into position. Eric throws a few kicks for good measure before turning around and jumping up to the top rope… MAC ATTACK… Eric with the cover… 1… 2… 3… Thank god this is over and for a change of pace Eric just sneers at Zales with a quiet “HA” to the semi-conscious Zales Kay DeBeers. The ref, Mel Creech, gets back into the ring with the PHWF World Title that Eric O’Mac snatches out his hands before putting it back around his waist without any true recognition of it. He pushes Creech out of the way when he tries to raise his hand for the victory and he just leaves the ring to the massive boos of this audience here. Eric O’Mac pays no attention to it at all as he just makes his way to the back. Looks like another victim on the path of rage. Your winner as a result of pin fall in 6:03…ERIC O’MAC! POE vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE All three men circle each other to start the match. Each is looking for an opening in one of the others defense before making the first move. Three sets of eyes dart back and forth at one another until finally Poe makes a move and dives at Apocalyptic Existence. Poe lands a few heavy shots before being jumped by Seamus. It quickly turns into an all-out brawl as all three men are swinging wildly at one-another. Soon Seamus and AE decide to focus their efforts on Poe and send him reeling into the corner. Seamus delivers a couple of hard right hands and then defers to AE who buries his knee into Poe's stomach. Poe doubles-over in pain and AE catches him with a DDT. AE goes for the cover. One...Seamus kicks AE off of Poe. AE stands up and gets in the face of Seamus. The two begin two argue. Soon it turns into a shoving match, and then, as it tends to happen, punches start being exchanged. Poe, meanwhile, is getting back to his feet as the other two wrestlers are slugging it out. Poe regains verticality and charges at Seamus and AE. They turn around a split-second too late and get dropped with a double clothesline from Poe. Poe begins to pick Seamus up, but he gets chop-blocked in the back of the knee by AE. Poe falls to one knee and AE gives him a nice stiff kick to the head. Poe looks rattled but doesn't go down. AE measures Poe for another kick, but Seamus catches him from behind with a swinging neck breaker. AE pops right back up to his feet but is caught by a running forearm from Seamus. Poe clears the cobwebs and gets to his feet. Now he and Seamus are going toe-to-toe. Both men are connecting with vicious haymakers. Each man's head snaps back with each blow landed, but neither man is willing to give an inch of ground. The crowd is roaring as these two deliver shot after painful shot. On the other side of the ring Apocalyptic Existence gets to his feet and sees the two men swinging wildly at each other. AE charges with a clothesline, but somehow Poe has the presence of mind to get out of the way and AE takes out an unsuspecting Seamus. AE turns around to go after Poe, but Poe catches him and drops him with The Pendulum! AE is about to go for the cover when he sees Seamus getting up from the corner of his eye. Seamus charges, thinking he's going to catch Poe off-guard, but Poe turns around and buries a boot directly into Seamus's midsection. He's got Seamus in the power bomb position! He hits the Crucifixion! One...Two...Three. WINNER in 6:43 - Poe THE AMNESIAC vs. CONCRETE TG THE Amnesiac is out first to some awesome Alice in Chains music. He taunts the crowd and points to himself on the way to the ring. Sterling Glaw just kind of shakes his head and sighs. “With Jupiter in Mind” fires up and the crowd is on their feet for everyone’s favorite Super Hero (who hasn’t been very Superhero-ish lately), Concrete TG (apologies to Phantos). Crete makes his way in, but can’t even take off his cape or anything before THE Amnesiac immediately attacks. Sterling Glaw is caught off guard, but calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! THE Amnesiac is just whaling away with right hands to the temple of Crete. He’s got Crete backed into the corner, and then starts hitting Batista-esque shoulder blocks. Crete crumples in a heap, and THE Amnesiac screams “THE AMNESIAC!” The crowd is a little confused by this, but boos anyway, just ‘cause. THE Amnesiac is trying not to lose his advantage, and hits a HURRICARANA on Crete. The cover gets two. THE Amnesiac doesn’t let up, and locks Crete in a CROSSFACE CHICKENWING (oh yeah, the old-school one). Crete is in HUGE trouble already, and is doing everything he can to get to the ropes and after a good minute and a half, finally does. THE Amnesiac uses 4.9999999 of a 5-count before Glaw has to physically break the hold himself. THE Amnesiac is clearly not happy, and starts screaming at Glaw, who starts screaming back and pointing to his OOWF patch. No one notices Concrete TG go to the outside, and run to the other side of the ring, behind THE Amnesiac. However, EVERYONE notices the SLINGSHOT DROPKICK to the back of THE Amnesiac’s dome-piece, and he goes flying and ends up draped on the second rope. Crete’s not waiting, and hits a C-T-G! THE Amnesiac stumbles backward. Crete’s got a full head of steam and hits a FLYING BURRITO! The cover gets two. As THE Amnesiac rolls to his stomach, Crete gives him the HEROES TAUNT! He goes to pull up THE Amnesiac, and is looking to put it away. He sets up for the CEMENT MIXER, but THE Amnesiac somehow is able to counter into a PURE AMNESIA attempt, but Crete reverses into a FINAL JUSTICE attempt, but THE Amnesiac counters THAT by back-flipping out of it. He tries for a GERMAN SUPLEX, but Crete escapes via Back Elbows and hits a BELLY TO BELLY ALL THE WAY OUT TO THE FLOOR AND THROUGH THE NANTUCKETIAN ANNOUNCE TABLE! THE Amnesiac is both hurt and shocked that just happened, and he is opened up. Crete poses for the crowd and gets a huge pop before running to the outside. He pulls THE Amnesiac up, and PILEDRIVES him through what’s left of the announce table. Crete then pulls THE Amnesiac up, and tries to get him into the ring, but he doesn’t notice that THE Amnesiac has gotten hold of a monitor. Right as Crete is about to roll THE Amnesiac into the ring, THE Amnesiac CRUSHES Crete’s skull with the monitor busting HIM open. Both men are down, and Glaw reaches 10. WINNER in 16:22…NO CONTEST (via Double Countout) DH MAGNUSSON & FIREWOMAN vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER & TYSON KINCAID Magnusson and Firewoman are already in the ring, as AA enforced the “Champion Enters Last” credo even though the Onslaught belt isn’t on the line. Can he be any bigger of an ass? Even AA’s partner isn’t too thrilled at the situation. Kincaid walks to the ring ahead of AA, who’s busy showing off he Onslaught belt to the crowd and threatening to fight small children and women. One small child holds up an “AA Is My Hero” poster. AA stops next to the poster, grabs it from the child, grabs a pen from the announce table and signs the poster. Wow, what an unusual act of kindness from…nope, AA just tossed the sign on the ground and stomped on it, leaving the child in tears. The ref calls for the bell as he doesn’t want another five minutes to go by before AA decides to get in the ring. AA tells TK to get in the ring to start, but Kincaid isn’t budging. The ref starts a count to get someone in the ring, and AA jumps off the apron and threatens to leave. Kincaid finally realizes that if he doesn’t want to lose the match he better get in the ring, and finds Magnusson waiting for him. Lockup, and Magnusson bullies Kincaid into the corner, goes for the big punch but Kincaid slips away. Another lockup, and again Magnusson backs Kincaid into the corner and again misses as Kincaid gets out of the way. AA applauds and decides he wants into the ring. Magnusson happily locks up with AA, backs him into the corner and goes for the big right hand. AA’s looking for a way out but can’t escape like Kincaid, and takes the big punch flush in the face. AA stumbles around holding his face and eventually backs into a corner and slumps down. Unfortunately, it’s Firewoman’s corner. FW immediately leaps off the apron and grabs AA by the throat, choking him on the bottom rope. AA flails to get away, rolls out of the ring, but Firewoman chases him down and CLUBBERS him into the ground before the ref backs her off. Magnusson tosses AA back into the ring, but AA gets a bit of space and hits his classic 5-STAR Greco Roman Thumb to the Eye. AA staggers over to Kincaid and tags out. Kincaid shakes his head in disgust but gets in. Kincaid and Magnusson give us a couple good minutes of solid wrestling, but writing that isn’t my forte. So eventually Firewoman gets into the ring and Kincaid gets the advantage, and AA decides there’s enough of an upper hand for him to get in the ring. AA slaps Firewoman around for a bit, gives her a reverse atomic drop just to ensure that everyone knows he hates women along with small children, then puts an arm bar on Firewoman. Magnusson starts arguing with the ref for some reason, and that allows AA to do the classic “Clap your hands because it sounds like a tag” move. Except Kincaid doesn’t come into the ring. AA looks over at Kincaid and claps his hands again, and again Kincaid doesn’t move. But now FW is reviving and getting pissed off. AA turns to Kincaid an claps his hands together once, twice, three times, imploring Kincaid into the ring. Kincaid just points behind AA, so AA does the “Oh shit, what’s behind me” thing and finds Firewoman all a rage. I mean, she even does the Hulk Hogan “YOU!” point. Must be that time of the month. (Oh, I’m gonna burn in hell for that one.) Firewoman literally explodes with lefts and rights, literally pounding the stuffings out of AA. FW literally kills AA with a flying leg lariat off the ropes, then literally rips his head off with a series of clotheslines. (tm Gorilla Monsoon). AA rolls out of the ring, but FW chases after him. Magnusson sees AA coming and readies with a clothesline, but AA ducks and Magnusson heads right for Firewoman—but stops short! Magnusson wipes his brow at the near miss and points to Firewoman’s stomach, and FW threatens to clothesline Magnusson for the suggestion. AA, meanwhile, crawled under the ring and back out the other side, and is begging Kincaid for a tag. But Kincaid is debating the economic windfall of Michael Phelps’ eight gold medals with the crowd. AA finally gives up and charges at FW, who catches him in a power slam! One, two, AA barely kicks out. FW tags to DH, double whip to the ropes and a HUGE double back body drop. DH picks up AA by the hair…RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP. AA’s quivering like an epileptic without his meds. DH tags out to Firewoman, who climbs to the top rope. ROCKET LAUNCHER!!! AA’s flattened in the middle of the ring by Firewoman. One, two-- Kincaid makes a half-hearted attempt at getting in the ring—THREE! WINNERS in 12:47, Firewoman and DH Magnusson. WORLDS GREATEST FAG TEAM, MOOSEHEAD JACK & CHRIS COLE vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS, ALEXANDER DARLING & STANK Surprisingly, both sides of this match put egos aside and enter as teams, Moosehead Jack, Chris Cole and the World’s Greatest Fag Team (Seriously, we have TWO GMs, can’t somebody fix that?) enter first to a chorus of boos and a rain of debris. The crowd goes quiet with anticipation as the lights go out, then explodes as Stank, Alexander Darling and Phantos and Lucios storm the ring. After a lot of posturing and trash talk, referee Angelo Barros manages to get everyone but Moose and Alex out of the ring and calls for the bell. Moose and Alex circle and lock- no, Moose sidesteps and hits a punch to Alex’s injured shoulder. Alex stumbles and Moose grabs his arm, winding it up and dragging him to the corner. Moose reaches back and tags Cole, who comes in with an elbow to the shoulder. Cole winds Alex’s arm up further, then jumps up and puts his knee into Alex’s shoulder, driving him to the mat. Cole stands on Alex’s shoulder and tags in FFMC. FFMC pulls Alex to his feet, then gasps and points up the aisle. Barros follows his gaze, and FFMC delivers a swift kick to Alex’s privates. As Barros looks back, FFMC locks on an arm bar and drags Alex to the corner. Ryan Hardcore tags in, and comes off the top with an elbow to Alex’s shoulder. Ryan scoops him up and hits a shoulder breaker, then covers, but Stank breaks it up at two. Barros keeps Moose et al at bay, and Stank leaves the ring. Ryan pulls Alex to his feet, and Alex catches him with a punch to the stomach, followed by an elbow to the back of the head. Ryan falls to his hands and knees and Alex dives for his corner, tagging Stank, but further tweaking his shoulder in the process. Stank comes in and steamrolls over Ryan with a clothesline, then turns around and does it again. Stank body slams Ryan, then scrapes him up and whips him to the corner. Stank follows him in with an avalanche, but FFMC pulls his partner out of the way and Stank eats turnbuckle. Stank stumbles out of the corner and glares at his former partner who shrugs. With Stank distracted, Ryan staggers him with a sucker punch, then knocks him to his knees with an enzugiri. Ryan rolls to his corner and tags Cole. Cole sprints across the ring and kicks Stank in the head as he tries to get up. Cole continues the attack with kicks and stomps, then hits the ropes and drops Stank with a neck breaker. Cole mounts Stank and drives fists into his face until Barros threatens disqualification. Cole springs to his feet and goes to the corner, coming off the second turnbuckle with an elbow and covering for two. Cole moves in as Stank gets to his feet. He gets in a few shots until Stank slips one and hooks Cole, pulling him onto his shoulders. Cole slips off to avoid the Stank-U, and dropkicks Stank in the back. Stank stumbles forward, and Cole rolls to his corner and tags Moose. Moose storms across the ring and – grabs a headlock? Huh. Stank shoots him off into the ropes, drops under his first pass, and hits a spine buster on the return trip. Stank hooks the leg, but Moose kicks out at one. Stank pulls Moose to his feet and locks on a hammerlock. Moose reverses, and Stank reaches back, grabbing Moose’s head and flipping him to the mat. Moose rolls to his feet and they circle. Cole and Alex find brief common ground, as they hurl abuse at their opponents (and possibly their partners). As one, Stank and Moose turn – Stank punches Cole in the face and Moose punches Alex in the shoulder – sending both men to the floor. Moose and Stank continue circling and lock up. Stank gets the advantage and backs Jack into the corner, reaching out to tag Lucios. Lucios comes in and attacks Moose with punches and kicks. He plants Moose with a body slam, then comes off the ropes with a leg drop to the throat. He foregoes the cover and pulls Moose to his feet, backing him into the ropes and whipping him across the ring. Moose ducks a clothesline attempt, and comes back with one of his own, but Lucios sidesteps and reverses into a Black Hole Slam. He covers, but FFMC breaks it up at two. Barros sends FFMC to the corner, and Jack takes advantage with a low blow and a roll up, pulling the tights and getting two. Lucios rolls to his feet, ducks a clothesline from Moose, and hits a kick and a DDT. He pulls Moose to his feet and reaches out to tag his partner. Phantos explodes into the ring with a springboard dropkick. He lands on his feet, sprints to the ropes, and nails Moose with a second dropkick as he gets up. Phantos goes to the ropes again, but Ryan hooks his leg from the outside and he face plants. Moose drives an elbow into the back of Phantos’ neck and tags out to FFMC. FFMC stomps on Phantos, then comes off the ropes and hits a splash. He rolls Phantos over and hooks the leg, but Stank breaks it up at two. FFMC pulls Phantos up and slings him to the ropes, but Phantos hooks the ropes to stop his momentum. FFMC sees that and charges, and Phantos back body drops him over the ropes to the floor. While FFMC is still in the air, Ryan hooks Phantos from behind and drives his neck into the top rope. Barros starts to reprimand him, but is distracted by Moose and Cole storming across the ring, only to be met by Stank and Alex. Stank and Moose do a quick shuffle to avoid facing off, and the brawl begins. Meanwhile, Ryan drags Phantos out of the ring. He runs Phantos into the railing and beats him down, soon joined by his partner. The WGFT continue the beating until Lucios sprints around the ring and levels them with a double clothesline. Inside the ring, Stank batters Cole, backing him into the corner with punches and chops. He whips Cole across the ring and starts to follow him in, but hesitates when he sees Moose lock a cross-arm breaker on Alex’s injured arm. Stank drops an elbow on Moose, forcing him to release the hold, then rolls to his feet and barrels into the corner. The pause has given Cole time to recover, however, and he steps out of the way and Stank slams into the turnbuckles. Cole rolls him up from behind, but Stank kicks out before Barros can count. Both men roll to their feet and Cole ducks a punch and levers Stank through the ropes, following him to the outside. Moose continues the assault on Alex’s shoulder, and sends him to the ropes. Alex summersaults under a clothesline attempt, hits the opposite ropes, and hits Moose with a flying forearm. Moose falls back into the ropes, and Alex sends to the outside with a dropkick. Alex climbs onto the apron and hits a flying knee to Moose on the floor. P&L, meanwhile, have gained the advantage over the WGFT. They pick FFMC up and plant him with a tandem suplex, then stuff Ryan into the ring. Lucios follows him in, body slams him, and lifts Ryan onto his shoulders as Phantos climbs the turnbuckles. They attempt the Dropkick Device, but FFMC slides into the ring and chop blocks Lucios. Phantos misses, but lands on his feet, only to be leveled by a super kick from Ryan, who also managed to land on his feet. Phantos crumbles, and FFMC comes off the ropes with a splash. He covers, and Barros slides into place to count. Phantos attempts to break it up, but Ryan holds him at bay. WINNERS in 26:58, The World’s Greatest Fag Team, Moosehead Jack, and Chris Cole. DAVIN MORELAND vs. OUTBACK JACK - #1 Contenders Gauntlet Match The awesome guitar lick starts, as “Thunderstruck” greets Outback Jack at the top of the ramp as the crowd gets to their feet. He’s swilling a Foster’s as usual, but he’s also carrying a nefarious looking kendo stick; which appears to be covered in barbed wire. You don’t see THAT every day. OBJ climbs into the ring and tosses the can out into the crowd. “Pull Me Under” fires up and the crowd goes batshit. The newer, slightly different, more focused Davin Moreland appears at the top of the ramp and just stalks his way down to the ring without paying attention to everything around him. He does his customary double jump into the ring, and Hightower has to cut him off from charging across the ring. Hightower gets them together to explain the rules of the match. Pretty simple, Outback Jack can use weapons or whatever he wants, and Davin cannot or he will be DQ’d. Davin simply claps his hands together a couple times and says “Let’s Go”. OBJ belches. That’s good enough for Davis Hightower, and he calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! Davin and OBJ nod at each other and start to slowly circle. Both feign attacks a couple of times, but clearly Davin is a bit concerned about that kendo stick. Finally, OBJ takes a full swing with it. Davin ducks and SPEARS OBJ, although there wasn’t much behind it, it was enough to knock OBJ down. Davin starts pounding away on OBJ’s face, but OBJ still has the kendo stick, and manages to get a bit of force behind a swing, and clocks Davin upside the head. Davin sells it like he’s dead, and some blood starts to trickle from his head. Already. OBJ uses the time to get himself situated and to his feet. He sees Davin still down, so it’s whackity-whack time on Davin, who just gets PEPPERED by the Kendo Stick wrapped in Barbed Wire; and soon Davin looks like a pin cushion; and he is bleeding everywhere. OBJ thinks that might be good enough; so he rolls Davin and tries a cover, which gets two. OBJ smirks, and pulls Davin to his feet, discarding the kendo stick for the time being, laying it on the mat. Uh oh. OBJ then lifts Davin up, impressively, and holds him for a Delayed Vertical Suplex. He finishes it, and drops Davin right on the kendo stick in the process. Davin rolls over and the stick is still in his back. Hightower looks concerned at the amount of blood. OBJ simply walks over, picks Davin up, and tosses him to the ropes. He goes for the BOOMERANG, but Davin ducks and hits the far ropes. OBJ tries for another BOOMERANG, which Davin ducks again, but this time Davin stops, and hits OBJ with a sweet INVERTED DDT. Davin drops to his knees and pulls the kendo stick finally out of his back. He pulls himself up by the ropes, and grabs the kendo stick, looking determined to get his revenge. He then realizes that’s probably not a great idea, and heaves it halfway up the ramp. He pulls OBJ up, but before Davin can do anything, he gets a swift kick to the balls. Davin falls to his knees, and the crowd does not approve, but it’s totally legal for OBJ. OBJ has had enough, and pulls Davin up. He’s looking for the CHOMP! OBJ sets it but Davin counters into a MILITARY PRESS SLAM! Davin again goes to a knee as he gets a few seconds to recover. OBJ starts to stir, and Davin goes across the ring to meet him. He whips OBJ to the ropes and catches him, locking on a…is that a…MILLION DOLLAR DREAM?!? Davin starts screaming “GO TO SLEEP, JACK!” and Davin really does have it locked; to the point that Hightower has to check on him. OBJ falls to his knees, and Hightower does the lift the arm three times thing. On the third check though, Davin simply releases the hold. Hightower looks at him questioningly, but backs away. We continue. Davin drags the sleepy OBJ near the corner, and Davin climbs the turnbuckle. He’s gonna fly! SHOOTING STAR PRESS! The crowd loved that one. Davin is a bloody mess, but he lets out a scream; he’s clearly fired up. He picks OBJ up again and looks like he’s going for another Press Slam…but NO! He shoves OBJ up in the air and leaps…ELEVATED DIAMOND CUTTER! Davin is screaming into the camera, “YOU WATCHING LD?!?! ARE YOU???” Apparently NOT done, and probably taking this a bit too far, Davin goes old school and locks on his old REAR NAKED CHOKE. He hasn’t busted that one out for a minute. OBJ is completely out of it, so Hightower doesn’t even check on him; he just calls for the bell. WINNER by SUBMISSION in 17:37…DAVIN MORELAND! Davin Moreland is STILL the #1 Contender to the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Post-match, Davin gets his arm raised, and the slightly stunned crowd does come around and give him a huge ovation. Davin makes his way up the ramp, but he finds a camera following him; and he starts yapping. “YOU WANT TO BLOCK ME FROM THE BELT, BENNETT?? LD, I HOPE you’re watching; because EACH WEEK WE DON’T FIGHT, your FATE is SEALED more and more, and your beating gets WORSE and WORSE. You might want to ask your DADDY BENNETT to bump that match up a bit…IF You value your career that is.” Davin growls into the camera and makes his way up the ramp. Huh. INSANE HOMELESS BUNNY vs. IHOP & BLITZ – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match IHOP and Blitz make their way to ring first, accompanied as always by the lovely and talented St. Dorothy Mantooth. Skurge and SYB are making the universal belt sign across their waists, much to the disapproval of the crowd while Blitz just looks a little lost with The Dead. PA: <Bzzt! Bzzt!> Check, check, check one...Ayo, this thing kickin'? Carl, break 'em off a beat, kid! People, it feels SO GOOD to be back! The house lights drop, and The Insane Homeless Bunnies are on the ramp! Bunny: Scrutinize every word, memorize every line I spit it once, refuel, reenergize, and rewind I give sight to the blind, mind sight through the mind I exercise my right to express when I feel it's time It's just all in your mind, what you interpret it as I say to fight you take it as I’m gonna whip someone's ass If you don't understand don't even bother to ask A father who has grown up with a fatherless past Who has blown up now to rap phenomenon that has Or at least shows no difficulty multi task And juggling both, perhaps mastered his craft slash Entrepreneur who has held long too few more rap acts Who has had a few obstacles thrown his way through the last half Of his career typical manure moving past that Mister kiss his ass crack, he's a class act Rubber band man, yea he just snaps back The IHB make their way to the ring to Bunny's rapping and Carl's beatboxing, thrilling the crowd, who respond by throwing their hands in the air and waving them around. Many look like they just don't care. Justin Sane: MY NAME ISSSSSSSSSSSSS.... Clearly having heard enough, Blitz PEARL HARBORS Sane with a sudden and brutal dropkick to the back of head! Skurge gets in on the fun delivering a crushing body check to Carl, which sends him flying back into the corner, while SYB clubs Bunny in the back of the head, sending sprawling into another corner. Blitz scoops up Sane, shoves him the corner, and IHOP and Blitz whip the IHB towards each other in the center of the ring! Thinking quickly, Sane drops down, Carl steps over, and Bunny leapfrogs them both! TRIPLE THREAT OF DROPSKICKS! Bunny hits SYB, Carl hits Blitz, Sane hits Skurge, and all three members of IHOP (+1) hit the floor! The Portuguese crowds goes wild as the IHB hit the turnbuckles, threatening a leap as the trio on the floor regroup. After a moment the ref gets them on the apron, and finally order is restored. The bell rings and we're underway! Looks to be Carl starting off the IHB squaring off against Skurge. Collar and elbow, quick go-behind by Carl, and front leg trip sends Skurge down to the mat face-first. Carl quickly stands on his back and poses, hopping away before Skurge gets up. Back to the collar and elbow, go-behind by Skurge this time who goes for the leg, only to have Carl perform a beautiful standing back flip! Skurge's momentum carries him face first to the mat again, and Carl once again jumps up to stand on his back and pose! The crowd eats it up, as Bunny laughs in to corner and Vander looks to be conversing with someone only he can see. Meanwhile back in the center of the ring, Carl and a FURIOUS Skurge lock back up, and once again Carl with the go-behind, but Skurge counters this time with a HEAVY back elbow! Carl staggers backwards and Skurge stays on him throwing lefts and rights. He drives Carl back into the ropes, looks for an Irish whip, but cuts it off short with a knee lift that sends Carl flipping over his knee. Pickup by Skurge who whips Carl into ropes and lowers his head telegraphing a backdrop, and Carl makes him pay with Runnels uppercut. Skurge quickly scrambles back to his corner and tags in Blitz, while Carl makes his way across and tags in Bunny. Blitz looking for a running clothesline as Bunny hops over the top rope, but Bunny keeps rolling, ducking under Blitz's outstretched arm before popping up and staggering Blitz with a spin kick to the midsection. And a kick to the thigh! A second one! A third takes Blitz to a knee, and Bunny DRILLS him with a shining wizard! Blitz is dazed as Bunny hits the far side ropes and comes off with nasty basement dropkick! Kip up by Bunny, who looks around for a moment before running up the turnbuckles and spring backwards with a no-look corkscrew moonsault! He nails it! 1... 2... Save made by SYB, who knocks the high-flyer in the side of head with a running boot! Glaw admonishes him, and SYB is denying doing anything while standing the middle of the ring. Glaw ushers him back, and SYB complies, dragging Blitz back into the corner with him and making a big production of tagging himself in with Blitz's limp hand. I guess that's legal. Bunny back on his feet, and SYB charges at him, getting a deep arm drag for his efforts! And another! And a third, as somewhere Ricky Steamboat smiles. Bunny is fired up as he locks in the arm bar, but SYB goes to eyes! Glaw is really lying on as SYB begins laying the boots to Bunny, stomping him down before dragging him by his hair to the corner. Tag in to Skurge who takes the free opportunity to lay in a few shots to Bunny's exposed midsection as SYB holds him. SYB steps out, and Skurge automatically tags back in Blitz, who paintbrushes Bunny a few times as Skurge holds him. This wakes Bunny up a bit, as he elbows Skurge hard, and launches a front kick into Blitz. He's got a shot out getting out of the corner, but SYB reaches with the choke! This draws in Carl, who isn't helping as Glaw ushers him back into the corner as IHOP(+1) use the chance for some triple teaming with boots to the Bunny! Blitz firmly in control now with a snap brain buster, rolling through and hitting the far ropes before driving down him a wicked baseball slide leg drop. Hook of the leg and a cover: 1... 2... Bunny rolls a shoulder at two, and Blitz wasn't happy with the count. He argues with Glaw for a moment before launching a serious kick into back of Bunny, before going over him with a Hennig neck snap, followed up by basement dropkick of his own! Bunny looks to be serious trouble, as Blitz quickly makes his way to the top rope and signals...BLITZ FLIP! NOBODY HOME! Blitz crashes and burns, and Bunny is struggling to make his way to his corner. He's almost gets there Skurge gets the tag for Blitz, and he quickly grabs Bunny's leg and drags him back! Skurge whips him into the ropes, and looks for a big boot, but Bunny slides under popping back up and launching a series of low kicks that stagger the big Canadian! Bunny bounds of the ropes, launches with a spinning heel, but Skurge catches him! MOUNTAIN DEW MIST FROM BUNNY! The Lovely and Talented St. Mantooth is on the apron at that, as lands on his feet as Skurge drops him, and tumbles past Skurge and makes the tag to Justin Sane! JUSTIN SANE IS A HOUSE OF FIRE! Dropkick to Skurge! Dropkick to the incoming Blitz! Dropkick to the incoming SYB! Dropkick to the lovely and talented St. Mantooth! Dropkick to Sterling Glaw! Justin Sane has cleared the ring! Carl tries to make his way in, and narrowly avoids a dropkick from Sane! Sane is challenging IHOP (+1) to come back in as Sterling Glaw calls for the bell! Sane looks confused, as Bunny and Carl slowly make their into the ring and try to explain to him that you can't dropkick the referee. WINNERS via DISQUALIFICATION at 8:43 IHOP AND BLITZ LD WILLIAMS vs. THE DEAD – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match The Dead makes his way to the ring ready for action. He steps between the ropes, then sits atop the turnbuckle and waits for the OOWF World Heavyweight champion to make his way to the ring. LD Williams is announced and comes to the ring, wiping his feet before he steps between the ropes, then handing the title to the referee. LD Williams eyes the challenger and waits for the referee to call for the bell. Even though these two are technically on the same side, neither is going to pull a punch. The ref calls for the bell and this one is underway. Dead springs off the top rope, but Williams doesn’t even flinch. The two lock up and Dead grabs a side head lock, and LD immediately shoots him to the ropes and follows him, as soon as Dead rebounds, Williams is right there and catches him with a knee to the gut that doubles Dead over and sends him between the ropes to the floor. LD Steps between the ropes and hops to the floor and pulls Dead to his feet and hits a snap suplex on the floor. Dead sits up and grabs his back, allowing LD to get to his feet and nail several stiff kicks to Dead’s lower back. LD pulls Dead to his feet and rolls him under the bottom rope and covers, but Dead kicks out at two. Williams pulls Dead to a sitting position and grabs a chin lock, but Dead quickly fights to his feet and elbows LD in the mid section forcing the break. Dead hits the ropes, and LD tries for a clothesline, but Dead catches his arm and drops LD backward back across his knee, covers and gets a one count. Dead pulls LD up and stands him up and nearly takes his head off with a spinning heel kick. Dead covers again, but once again only gets a one count. Dead waits for LD to get to his feet then whips him to the corner and follows him in with a running knee to the jaw. LD staggers out of the corner and Dead grabs him from behind and hits a Tiger suplex, bridges and gets a two count. LD rolls under the bottom rope to the floor, and Dead steps between the ropes and waits for LD to get up, then runs the apron and grabs LD bulldogging him to the floor! LD is in trouble now. Dead rolls him back into the ring and covers and gets a two and 99/100ths with Williams just BARELY rolling his shoulder before the three count. Dead pulls LD to the middle of the ring and drops a leg across his chest, then grabs his legs and tries a Deathlock, but Williams grabs him and rolls him into a small package in the middle of the ring for a two count. Both men spin to their feet after Dead kicks out at two, LD tries another clothesline and once again Dead avoids it and gets a crucifix roll up for a two count. Williams kicks out and now Dead tries a clothesline, but Williams snaps him over to the mat with an arm drag. Dead spins up to his feet and catches a charging LD with a code breaker that sends LD to the mat once again. Dead pulls LD to the corner and hits a Tornado DDT and covers, but LD shows his resolve and kicks out at two. LD Williams slips out of the ring once again and tries to catch his breath. Inside the ring Dead gets a running start and leaps over the top rope, but LD catches Dead in mid air and power bombs him to the floor. Dead hits the floor with a sickening thud. LD falls to the floor as well and the referee starts the obligatory ten count. LD gets to his feet first but has to hold himself up with the apron, Dead struggles to his feet and sees Williams staggered, Dead runs to the guard rail and leaps on top, then launches himself backward at Williams, but LD moves out of the way and Dead slams his back on the apron! LD rolls him into the ring and follows just before the ten count. LD repeatedly drives his knee into the small of Dead’s back, then pulls him up and drops him across his knee with a pendulum back breaker, keeping him there trying for the submission. After several torturous minutes, LD shoves Dead off his knee and covers, but Dead kicks out at two. Williams pulls Dead up and sends him HARD into the corner, Dead staggers out a few steps and LD finally hits that clothesline he has been trying for the whole match nearly separating Dead’s head from his shoulders. LD falls on top of Dead, hooking the leg and getting a two count, Dead saves himself by draping his foot across the bottom rope. Williams snaps Dead to his feet and sets him up and hits a CRADLE PILEDRIVER! This one is over. One, two, thre……NO! How the hell did Dead kick out of that? Williams doesn’t show an ounce of frustration, instead he just pulls Dead up once again and shoves him into the corner and blisters his chest with knife edge chops. LD grabs Dead and sends him to the opposite corner charging after him, but Dead scales the corner and flips over the charging Williams, LD stops short of the turnbuckles, and when he turns around and takes a step, Dead POPS him in the mouth with the CLOSE THE CASKET! Dead covers, one, two thre….NO! Williams reaches out and grabs the bottom rope! Dead pulls Williams to his feet and hits a Side Russian leg sweep for another two count, then gets up holding his back. Dead climbs to the top rope, but perhaps takes a bit too long because of his back. By the time he gets to the top, LD is on his feet. Dead leaps, but LD catches him with an inverted atomic drop, then kicks him in the midsection and DRILLS him with a DDT to the mat! LD rolls Dead over and hooks both legs and gets the one, two, three. WINNER in 24:08 – LD Williams Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Judgment Eve III, Live August 30 from Qeqetarsauq, Greenland! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! August 27th, from Hammerfest, Norway! For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Jack Quinn Aug 20, 2008 19:49:16 GMT -5 |
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(SFJ #52 finds Crete at the arena as he is preparing for his match)
SFJ #52: Concrete, would you respond to the accusations about you putting a bounty out on Stank? CTG: a false accusation at best. I understand Moosehead Jack is the one doing most of the talking about that, he'd be the one who knows more, I'm sure SFJ#52: Moosehead Jack claims you're the one who put out the bounty. CTG: Consider the source, citizen. I have no reason to attack an ally despite any of our encounters in the past. If anything, Stank holds a grudge against me for something I had no control over. And as for Moosehead Jack... I'm sure he's disappointed that all his machinations against me, including this one, have yet to break my spirit. SFJ#52: any thoughts about who might have done this? CTG: again, I would consider the source. SFJ#52: so you hold no animosity toward Stank despite your varied philosophies in how this war is handled? CTG: absolutely not! after all, he DID wear his Super Hero in Training uniform... I have the photographs, and it's a very big internet. I think that would do more damage than having someone else take him out. And to that I address both Moosehead Jack and Stank: I am not one to use underhanded means to "Get" anyone. In fact, if I wanted to face either of you in any sort of competition, We all know where the ring is. I fear neither of you. Stank, I respect most of your opinions. And Moose? Once again we inexorably gravitate toward each other. When we cross paths again, it might take more than a mere cease-fire to stop us. SFJ#52: And about your match tonight? CTG: Who am I facing again? SFJ#52: "The" Amnesiac CTG: I was joking. But I'm ready for him as well.
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Concrete TG Aug 20, 2008 14:44:38 GMT -5 |
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done
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Jack Quinn Aug 20, 2008 11:34:36 GMT -5 |
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***moved to next weeks because I was late***
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Riot Act Aug 13, 2008 18:57:28 GMT -5 |
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(We spent an extra night in North Carolina so I am posting this early because we won't be home at 8. I will be back tomorrow afternoon, and I will send matches to the writers then, unless i happen to get to it tonight. Enjoy!)
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Cordoba, Spain THE DEAD vs. TYTAN vs. BLITZ vs. SPIN HANSEN – Battle For The Title Shot The last four men left standing in the Tournament Royal. Tonight they will compete in a four way dance, the man who is eliminated first, either by pin or submission will face LD Williams tonight. Tytan makes his way to the ring first and climbs between the ropes. Oddly, Tytan comes to the ring alone. Spin Hansen is out next, he makes his way through the crowd as is his custom and steps between the ropes and casts a long look at Tytan. The Dead and Blitz are announced and they come to the ring together and step between the ropes. The referee calls for the bell and this one is immediately underway. Tytan charges across the ring and catches Dead with a shot to the jaw and Spin catches Blitz with a knee to the gut and throws him out of the ring. Without hesitating, Spin and Tytan turn on one another and trade haymakers in the center of the ring. Both Dead and Blitz are quickly up on the apron and start to get into the ring, but then they both seem to realize that it is in their best interest to let them beat each other to death. Finally Tytan gets the better of the exchange, dropping Spin with a shot to the head. Tytan runs to the ropes, but he gets low bridges by Dead and sails over the top rope to the floor. Blitz and Dead wait on the apron, and as soon as Spin gets to his feet they leap and catch him with missile spring board dropkicks, Dead connects to his face, while Blitz catches him on the back of the head. Spin crumples to the mat and Dead covers, but Spin kicks out at two, Blitz hits a standing moonsault and gets a two count of his own. Dead climbs to the top rope, and is about to leap, when he sees Tytan getting back to his feet, so he turns slightly and leaps off the top at Tytan. Tytan side steps and Dead slams into the guard rail chest first. Dead writhes in agony on the floor and Tytan slides back into the ring. Blitz tries a whip to the ropes on Spin, but Spin reverses it, when Blitz bounds off the ropes, Spin drops to the mat, Blitz leaps over him, and Tytan blindsides him with a clothesline that nearly decapitates him. Spin gets to his feet and Tytan catches him square in the face with a double axe sledge. The impact sends Spin through the ropes to the floor. Tytan looks around the crowd, and as the camera pans around the ramp, we see a large man dressed completely in black with a hood covering his face. He is staring at Tytan. Tytan catches his gaze and he reaches down and pulls Blitz to his feet. Tytan hauls Blitz up into a vertical suplex, never taking his eyes off of the mysterious man. The man slowly reaches out and gives Tytan the “thumbs down” and Tytan drops Blitz with a Steiner Screwdriver! Tytan presses Blitz to the mat, hooking a leg, again never taking his eyes off of the stranger. The referee hits the mat and Tytan gets the one, two, three. Tytan, Dead and Spin Hansen live to fight another day, Blitz will get his title shot later tonight! WINNERS – in 11:01 – Spin Hansen, Tytan and The Dead. Blitz is eliminated and will face LD Williams tonight POE & ERIC O’MAC vs. CAPE TOWN CANNIBALS The Cape Town Cannibals make their way to the ring and wait in their corner for the somewhat odd pairing of Poe and Eric O’Mac. Poe and Eric are announced and they come to the top of the ramp accompanied by Selena. Eric has a demented look in his eyes, again, while Poe occasionally casts an amused look in his direction. The get to the ring and Poe climbs on the apron and then helps the lovely Serena onto the apron. They move to a corner while Eric slides under the ropes and immediately charges across the ring and attacks WWE and TNA. Eric catches TNA with a spinning kick to the face that sends him to the mat, then ducks a clothesline attempt by WWE and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a big back body drop. Eric pulls TNA up and slams him face first into the turn buckle, then spins him around and climbs the corner and gives him the ten punches of doom. Eric sees WWE back on his feet, and he spins off the turn buckle and catches WWE with a kick to the head sending him to the mat. Eric grabs TNA and shoots him between the ropes to the floor. Eric is like a mad man in the ring right now. He pulls WWE to his feet and hauls him up for a vertical suplex, then drops WWE stomach first on the ropes, then gets a running start, leaps over WWE’s back like it was a sunset flip and POWERBOMBS him on the cement floor! WWE is out cold. Eric doesn’t hesitate a bit, he gets to his feet and charges around the ring and catches TNA with a clothesline to the back of the head just as he is standing up. The whole time Poe and Selena are relaxing in the corner watching with a bemused look on their faces as the One Man Wrecking Crew Eric O’Mac unleashes his fury on the Cannibals. Eric pulls TNA to his feet and rolls him back into the ring and hops onto the apron and hits a flipping senton splash landing right on TNA’s chest driving the wind out of him. Eric mounts TNA and just hammers him with straight shots to the face, drawing a warning from the referee. Finally Eric pulls a stunned TNA to his feet and whips him hard into the corner and follows him in with a running knee to the face, then lets him stagger out of the corner before dropping him with a super kick to the back of the head. Eric is not satisfied yet though, he throws TNA out of the ring and follows him out. Eric steps out of the ring and waits on the apron as TNA struggles to his feet, Eric leaps off the apron and bulldogs TNA to the cement floor, TNA may be out cold as well. Eric drags TNA over to the steel stairs and lifts the steps and places them right on TNA’s ankle. Eric climbs back onto the apron and gets a running start and JUMPS ONTO THE STAIRS SMASHING TNA’S ANKLE!! TNA howls in pain clutching his ankle. Eric stands over him for a moment admiring his work, he pulls TNA up and rolls him into the ring and immediately grabs TNA’s leg and locks the likely broken ankle in an ankle lock! TNA taps furiously, then passes out from the pain. The referee calls for the bell, but Eric will not release the hold. Eric has a kind of scary far away look in his eyes as he is threatening to tear TNA’s foot off his leg. The referee steps in and is about to reverse the decision when Poe walks over to Eric and just puts his hand on his shoulder. Eric releases the hold and Poe helps him to his feet. Selena leads Eric out of the ring and they slowly make their way up the ramp watching medics brace TNA’s foot. WINNERS in 6:11 – Eric O’Mac & Poe APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE vs. ZK DEBEERS ZK DeBeers makes his way to the ring, clearly a little bit affected by the injury suffered by TNA in the previous match. He steps between the ring and heckles a few fans giving him a hard time. Meanwhile Apocalyptic Existence and Chad Patton are introduced and they make their way to the ring. Patton gives AE a few last minute instructions before he climbs between the ropes. With both men in the ring the referee calls for the bell to start the match. They slowly circle and lock up, DeBeers immediately goes to the eyes and backs AE to the ropes and tries a whip, but AE reverses it and catches DeBeers on the rebound with a belly to belly suplex that sends him across the ring. Both men are quick to their feet and DeBeers charges, but AE catches him with an arm drag, both men are quickly up again, AE grabs DeBeers and whips him, but this time DeBeers reverses it and catches AE on the rebound with a high knee to the jaw. AE staggers back to the corner and tries to regain his composure. DeBeers runs to the corner and catches AE with a clothesline trapping him in the corner, then repeatedly buries his shoulder into AE’s midsection. DeBeers sets AE on the top rope and gives him a couple of open hand slaps for good measure and climbs up for a suplex, but AE blocks it by holding onto the ropes. AE grabs DeBeers by the throat and lifts him and leaps hitting a double choke top rope sit out powerbomb! (I know there is a name for it, but I forget at the moment). DeBeers rolls out of the ring to the floor to try and buy some time, but AE follows him to the floor. AE tries to pull DeBeers to his feet, but DeBeers grabs him by the tights and slings him face first into the ring post. Patton immediately runs over to AE to check on him, DeBeers gets to his feet and shoves Patton out of the way and pulls AE to a sitting position and we see he has been busted open. DeBeers hammers him with elbows to the face, opening the gash even more. DeBeers rolls AE back into the ring and takes his time following him in. He pulls him to his feet, then lifts him and hits a belly to back suplex that folds AE up. DeBeers covers, but inexplicably pulls AE up at two! DeBeers chokes AE for a four count, just narrowly avoiding a disqualification. DeBeers pulls AE to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon, AE catches him with a knee lift that sends DeBeers staggering back against the ropes. AE falls to one knee to wipe the blood from his face, and the referee steps in to check on him. On the outside, Chad Patton takes his gym bag and swings as hard as he can and catches DeBeers on the back of the head. DeBeers stands upright for a moment, but his eyes roll back into his head, he staggers forward a few steps and AE gets to his feet and pushes the referee aside and grabs DeBeers and hits the VERTEBREAKER!! AE covers, and gets the one, two, three! WINNER in 9:44 – Apocalyptic Existence DH MAGNUSSON vs. TYSON KINCAID We go through the introductions and Kincaid and Magnusson are both in the ring waiting for the match to start. The two circle and lock up, Kincaid grabs an arm wringer, but Magnusson staggers him with a forearm to the jaw. Magnusson sends Kincaid to the ropes and elevates him with a high back body drop. Tyson spins to his feet quickly and Magnusson sends him right back to the mat with a clothesline. Kincaid pops up again and Magnusson scoops him up and slams him to the mat, bounds off the ropes and drops a knee across his chest. Magnusson covers and gets a two count, but Kincaid rolls his shoulder and heads to the ropes forcing Magnusson off of him. Kincaid gets to his feet and Magnusson charges in but Kincaid moves out of the way and sends Magnuson to the ropes, as he rebounds he drops him to the mat with a drop toe hold, then drops an elbow across the back of Magnusson’s head. Kincaid grabs Magnusson’s legs and quickly traps him in an Indian death lock. Magnusson howls in pain but refuses to give up. Kincaid reaches back and pulls Magnusson’s head back adding to the pain, but he can’t get Magnusson to quit. Kincaid breaks the hold and pulls DH to his feet and hits a side suplex that folds Magnusson up. Kincaid covers, but Magnusson kicks out at two. Kincaid gets to his feet and waits for Magnusson to get up, then kicks Magnusson in the gut and takes him over with a swinging neck breaker. Kincaid pops up again quickly and as Magnusson gets to his feet Kincaid catches him with a drop kick to the face that sends Magnusson to the apron. As DH gets to his feet, Kincaid presses his head on the top rope and quickly climbs the corner and drops a leg across the back of Magnusson’s head, snapping him off the apron and into the guard rail. Kincaid slips out of the ring and grabs Magnusson and slams him into the Hawaiian Announce table, then rolls him back into the ring, follows him in and makes the cover, but only gets a two count. Kincaid pulls Magnusson to his feet and paint brushes him a few times, then sends him into the corner. Kincaid charges into the corner, but Magnusson explodes out of the corner and nearly kills Kincaid with a lariat. Magnusson pulls Kincaid to his feet and LEVELS him with a Jersey Hammer! Magnusson covers and hooks the leg, but Kincaid rolls his shoulder at the last second avoiding the pin. Magnusson pulls Kincaid up and puts him on his shoulders, but Kincaid slips off his shoulders and tries a German suplex, but Magnusson blocks it and a test of strength ensues as Magnusson tries to pry Kincaid’s hands apart. Finally Magnusson gets enough space that he is able to break Kincaid’s grasp and slip behind him and he hits the DREAM STREET! Kincaid struggles and tries to escape, but Magnusson has the dragon sleeper locked in tight! Kincaid is close to the ropes, but Magnusson drags him away and cinches the hold in a little more, Kincaid has no escape and he is forced to tap. WINNER in 12:14 – DH Magnusson IHOP vs. JUSTIN SANE & BUNNY Justin Sane and Bunny are announced and they come to the top of the ramp. Carl From Fresno doesn’t join them tonight because he is preparing for his chance of a lifetime against Davin Moreland. Bunny and Justin soak in the cheers of the crowd and Bunny grabs a mic and is about to freestyle when SYB and Skurge charge out of he back and attack from behind. SYB grabs Sane and throws him face first into the set, meanwhile Skurge grabs Bunny from behind and hits a half nelson suplex right on the stage, dropping him right on the back of his head. SYB and Skurge pulls Justin to his feet and hit a reverse 3-D on the top of the stage. IHOP drags Justin Sane to the ring and rolls him under the bottom rope. SYB decides that he is going to be the legal man and he covers Sane, very non-chalantly thinking he has the three count easily. The referee counts to two, but Sane rolls his shoulder just before the referee hits the mat for the third time. SYB cannot believe that Sane could kick out of that and he spends more time arguing with the referee than he probably should have. He turns back to Sane and Justin catches him with a jaw breaker. SYB falls to the mat and grabs his jaw in pain, then crawls to the IHOP corner and tags in Skurge. Skurge charges into the ring and catches Sane with a forearm shiver to the side of the head. The crowd cheers as we see Bunny struggling down the ramp toward the ring. Skurge sends Sane into the corner and as he staggers out, Skurge pops him in the mouth with a super kick that sends Sane to the mat in the corner. Skurge grabs Sane by the legs and drags him to the middle of the ring and stomps him brutally. Skurge reaches out and tags SYB into the match, then grabs Sane by the legs and catapults him into a HEBREW HAMMER from SYB! Sane is knocked loopy and once again SYB covers, one, two, thre…..NO! From the outside Bunny pulls SYB out of the ring and plants him on the floor with a DDT! Skurge drops off the apron and attacks Bunny from behind, slamming him into the steel steps shoulder first. Skurge pulls Bunny to his feet and hits a Side Effect on the concrete floor. Inside the ring Justin Sane staggers to his feet and stumbles around the ring. He lashes out at the first thing he sees which happens to be the referee. He grabs the ref in a side head lock, and the ref immediately picks him up and throws him off to the mat. Sane spins to his feet and cocks his fist, then finally realizes that it was the referee. He shakes his head and sees SYB and Skurge putting the boots to Bunny on the floor outside the ring. Sane gets a head of steam and charges, and leaps over the ropes and connects with……absolutely nothing. Both Skurge and SYB see him coming and move out of the way in time. They throw Sane back into the ring and follow, SYB tags in Skurge and he comes in and pulls Sane to his feet and locks him in the EXECUTIONER! Sane struggles a bit and drops to one knee. Bunny tries to slide into the ring, but SYB stops him. Sane fights the move, but he fades fast. The referee checks his arm it drops once, twice, three times, that’s it this one is over! WINNERS in 5:11 – IHOP SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. OUTBACK JACK Seamus is out first and he waits patiently. Outback Jack is announced next and he comes out slamming a Fosters much o the delight of the crowd. Jack makes his way down to the ring and steps between the ropes, Seamus makes a move toward Jack to start the match, but Jack puts up a hand to stop him. Jack reaches into his cargo shorts and pulls out a Fosters and Seamus gives him a funny look. Jack tells him to hold on for one more second and he pulls out a Smithwicks and offers it to Seamus. Seamus takes the brew and both men pop the tops, toast one another messily, then slam both adult beverages. The two men crumble the cans, then immediately tear into one another hammering away with haymakers. The referee just steps back and lets them hammer away at each other while the cheers from the fans grows louder and louder. They fight toward the ropes and connect with huge shots, finally tumbling between the ropes and falling to the floor. The collision with the floor only slows them for a moment, then they are right back on their feet trading shots. Jack decides he is tired of getting punched in the face and tries a clothesline, but Seamus side steps it and shoves Jack into the guard rail ribs first. Seamus grabs Jack and plants him on the floor with a slam. Seamus climbs to the apron and leaps, dropping a leg across Jack’s chest. Seamus pulls Jack to his feet and rocks him with an Irish uppercut, then rolls him back into the ring. Jack immediately gets to his feet and catches Seamus with a kick to the mouth as he is coming between the ropes, dropping him to the mat. Jack pulls Seamus to his feet and runs his eyes across the rope, then slams him face first into the turnbuckle, then lifts him for a belly to back suplex that sends both men to the mat. Jack covers, but Seamus kicks out before there is even a one count. Jack climbs to the second rope and waits for Seamus to get to his feet, then leaps and catches Seamus with a double sledge to the top of the head. Seamus falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring once again. Jack follows him out and mounts Seamus and hammers him with shots to the face before picking him up and putting him on the Azerbaijani Announce table. Jack pulls Seamus to his feet and sets him up for the CHOMP, but Seamus fights out of it, kicking his feet to free himself, he frees himself, spins Jack around and hits the BLACK AND TAN! Sending both men crashing through the table! Jack may be out cold, and Seamus isn’t much better for the wear. Seamus pulls himself out of the wreckage and drags Jack back to the ring and covers, but somehow Jack kicks out at two. Jack is on rubber legs as Seamus pulls him to his feet and hits a CELTIC CROSS! Seamus covers and hooks the leg, and gets the three count just before Jack rolls his shoulder. WINNER in 15:58 – Seamus McNasty After the match, Seamus gets to his feet and helps Jack up as well. They exchange an uncertain look for a moment, then exchange a completely manly, heterosexual embrace. Seamus calls for something and one of the ring rats tosses him two cans of beer. He hands one to Jack and they toast again and slam the beer, then leave the ring together much to the delight of the crowd. CONCRETE TG & STANK vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK & THE AMNESIAC Crete comes to the ring wearing his super hero t-shirt, and encouraging Stank to act heroically. To his credit Stank is wearing a S.H.I.T. Stank t-shirt like a poncho, but that is about all you are getting from him today. They step between the ropes and decide that Crete is going to start things out. Moose and The Amnesiac are announced next and they make their way to the ring. The Amnesiac slides under the ropes and it is clear he is starting the match since he immediately goes after Crete with a vengeance. The Amnesiac drops Crete to his knees with an elbow to the side of the head, then hammers him in the face with closed fist punches (as if there were any other kind of punches). The Amnesiac drags Crete to the ropes and hangs him on the middle rope, gets a running start and leaps onto Crete’s back, then slides between the ropes and drops a leg down across the back of Crete’s head, snapping him back into the ring. The Amnesiac slides back in and pulls Crete to the corner and tags in Moose, Moose explodes between the ropes and connects with several jabs to the face, then climbs the ropes and bites Crete on the forehead until the referee threatens disqualification. Moose snapmares Crete out of the corner and connects with a boot to the back of the head, then hits the ropes and clotheslines Crete to the mat. Moose straddles Crete putting his knee across Crete’s throat, choking the life out of him. The referee is about to turn and call for the bell when Moose releases the hold and snarls at the referee. Moose gets to his feet and measures Crete as he stands up and tries a spinning chop to the neck, but Crete catches him and turns it into an Olympic slam driving Moose to the mat. Crete rolls across the ring and tags in Stank, Stank gets into the ring just as Moose gets back to his feet, and the two meet in the center of the ring and immediately go into a collar and elbow tie up. Moose snaps Stank to the mat and grabs an arm bar. Stank fights his way back to his feet and backs Moose into the corner. The referee calls for a clean break and……gets it. Not this again. The two go back to the middle of the ring and lock up again, this time Stank grabs a side head lock. Moose shoves him to the ropes and leap frogs Stank as he charges back. Stank hits the ropes again and Moose drops to the mat, and Stank steps over him on his way to the ropes again. Moose gets to his feet and tries a hip toss, but Stank reverses it into a back slide for a two count. Moose and Stank both spring to their feet and Stank backs to his corner and tags in Crete. Crete beams as he steps between the ropes and moves to lock up with Moose, but Moose catches him with a right across the jaw that drops him to one knee. Moose pulls Crete to his feet and sends him to the ropes and drills him with a knee to the midsection, then plants him on the mat with a DDT. Moose drags Crete to the corner and tags in The Amnesiac, The Amnesiac leaps over the top rope and drops a leg across Crete’s chest and covers for a two count. The Amnesiac pulls Crete to his feet and sends him to the ropes and tries a boot to the face, but Crete catches his foot and sweeps the other leg. Crete keeps hold of his legs and catapults The Amnesiac into the face corner. Crete tags in Stank, and Stank steps between the ropes and PUMMELS The Amnesiac with punches and kicks, then pulls him back to his feet and traps his arms and repeatedly headbuts him in the face. The Amnesaic slumps in the corner and Stank steps back and gets a running start and hits a face wash! Stank tags Crete back into the match, Crete comes in and tries to haul The Amnesiac up in a vertical suplex, but The Amnesiac fights it and ends up clipping the referee with a boot to the head. The referee staggers slightly and The Amnesiac lands on his feet behind Crete and immediately drops down and hits a low blow on Crete and rolls him up from behind, grabbing a hand full of tights out of the view of the referee. Crete somehow manages to kick out at two, and gets to his feet and goes after The Amnesiac. The two men tumble between the ropes to the floor trading shots. They fight back up the ramp while Moose and Stank remain in their corners, not even making an attempt to get involved. The referee kind of looks puzzled, but makes the ten count nonetheless. WINNERS – No Contest; double count out in 15:55 DAVIN MORELAND vs. CARL FROM FRESNO “Hunger Strike” fires up over the PA, and one-third of the Campeonas De Trios Champions, Carl From Fresno, makes his way down the ramp to some pretty substantial cheers, and he seems to be extra fired up. He’s singing along with Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell as he rolls into the ring and nods to Referee Angelo Barros, who nods back and leans in the corner. The first guitar strains of “Pull Me Under” start and the roof blows off. It’s a huge ovation for Davin Moreland, who is wearing a boxing-style robe and looking straight down at the floor. Once the heavy section kicks in, he violently flips his head up and simultaneously raises his arms as pyro goes off. He purposely makes his way down to the ring, and does his customary double-jump into the ring. The robe goes out into the crowd, and Davin is yelling at Barros to start the match. Barros calls for the bell…and WE’RE UNDERWAY! Davin and Carl approach each other in the ring, and we have a HANDSHAKE! (OMG ROH~!) The back off and get back together in a lockup. Davin has the power advantage, but Carl is working the leverage well, and we’re stalemated. At least, that is, until Carl goes for the single-leg takedown, and gets it. Davin faceplants, and Carl finds himself with Davin’s ankle in his hands. What else can he do, but hook on the ANKLE LOCK ON THE BAD ANKLE! Davin is SCREAMING in pain, and Carl has it cinched in. Davin tries to drag Carl around the ring, but Carl, ever the master of leverage, isn’t budging. Davin’s starting to grow a bit desperate and is trying anything to get to the ropes. Carl sees he’s got a real chance to win it right here, so he GRAPEVINES THE LEG! Davin is in HUGE trouble. Davin’s been in the hold over a minute before he finally manages to roll over with Carl still keeping the hold, and eventually getting to the ropes; and Carl uses 4 of the 5 count before he breaks; and Barros admonishes him strongly. Davin gets up very slowly and, not surprisingly, is putting no weight on his ankle. He gets up yapping, no shock there, and waves Carl in. DON’T DO IT CARL! Well, Carl charges in and gets Hip Tossed for his troubles. Davin basically hops over to Carl, and pulls him to his feet; only to land some not terribly creative punches to the face. Carl is backed into the corner, and Davin chops away. Carl’s hurting, but in between chops, Carl desperately kicks at Davin’s ankle, forcing him to hop away a bit. Carl uses the break to hop up to the top turnbuckle. TOR-NA-DO DDT! Carl quickly covers, and draws a long 2 count. He pulls Davin up, and hooks in a waistlock, trying to hit a German Suplex; but he simply can’t get Davin up, and eventually eats a back elbow, forcing him off. Davin then, out of nowhere, hits a PELE KICK with the good leg, and Carl goes FLYING through the ropes to the outside. Davin looks like he wants to chase, but thinks better of it, and tries to get the ankle working again. Barros starts a count. Carl climbs through the ropes at 8, and Davin is on him immediately, carrying himself a little better. Eventually, he pulls Carl up and hits a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX, which sends Carl flying. Carl’s in tough shape, but I don’t think Davin is seeing Carl right now. How do I know? He’s screaming “ARE YOU WATCHING LD?!?!?!??!” into the camera. He pulls an out-of-it Carl to his feet…KICK-WHAM-DDT! “DID YOU SEE THAT LD?!?!?” Davin’s not done, and pulls Carl to the middle of the ring and locks on the STF! He’s got the STF on and it’s a beauty, and Carl’s not long for this match. In the thirty seconds or so Davin’s got the STF on, he’s screaming “ASK HIM! TAP LD YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Finally Carl begins to assess his future after wrestling, and decides tapping out is probably the best move here. He does so. WINNER by SUBMISSION in 9:39…DAVIN MORELAND! Davin Moreland is still the #1 Contender to the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship Post-match, Davin hovers over Carl, and seems to be checking on him. Finally, Carl starts moving around and, while banged up, does seem to be ok. Davin helps him up to his feet, and in a show of Team and Faction and Old-School Faction Unity, he raises Carl’s arm, and the crowd cheers them both for a great match. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. FIREWOMAN – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match Firewoman comes to the ring first completely focused and ready for the task at hand. She climbs into the ring and runs the ropes. The OOWF champion Attitude Adjuster is announced next and he comes to the top of the ramp. AA appears to be carrying something in his hand as he starts down the ramp, then he pauses and points to the back. Suddenly this: pops up on the OOTron. AA gives Fire the cheesy double point to Fire and he heads down the ramp handing out cigars to the audience. If looks could kill AA would be dead on the floor. Fire is incredulous and enraged inside the ring. As soon as AA makes it to ringside, Fire leaves the ring and attacks him from behind. Tries to escape but Fire will not let him get his feet beneath him, she hammers him with anything not tied down. A fan hands her a chair and she smacks AA across the face with it. AA scurries into the ring just to try and avoid Fire’s wrath. He gets to his knees in the middle of the ring and tries to beg off, but Fire catches him wit ha kick to the side of the head, this time AA tries to call a time out, that doesn’t work either and Fire catches him with another kick to the side of the head. AA gets to his feet and holds out his hand as if to say STOP, so Fire catches him with a round house to the gut. Fire takes a few steps back while AA is doubled over. AA catches his breath, then puts his fists up for a fight, takes a couple of steps toward Fire, and falls face first to the mat. Fire falls to the mat as well and catches AA with tilts AA’s head back and catches him with BRUTAL knees to the face that leave AA a bloody mess. Fire pulls AA to his feet and scoops him up and ties him in the tree of woe, backs across the ring, gets a running start and does a Chris Sabin Hangs in the Air Forever drop kick that connects right between AA’s eyes. AA falls out of the tree of woe and rolls out of the ring to the floor. AA struggles to his feet and staggers around the ring and grabs his title and says he has had enough and heads up the ramp. Fire leaves the ring and follows him. Fire catches AA by the arm and spins him around, and AA BLASTS Fire with the title belt! Fire collapses to the ramp. AA stands over her for a moment, then makes the motion for the claw. He waits for Firewoman to get to her feet and goes to slap on the claw, but Fire side steps him at the last second and hits a release German suplex on the ramp! Fire gets to her feet and hears the referee yell EIGHT! Fire sprints to the ring and slides under the ropes just before the referee says TEN! He immediately calls for the bell and raises Fire’s hand. On the outside AA gets to his feet and looks shocked at what has happened. Once he realizes that Fire won the match he throws a classic heel tantrum complete with threatening the fans. Finally AA storms to the back dragging his title behind him while Fire celebrates in the ring. WINNER by count out in 10:21 – Firewoman PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. THE WORLDS GREATEST FAG TEAM – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match MacCappington and Hardcore are out first and they wait outside the ring taunting the crowd. MacCappington dangles a few hundred dollar bills in front of the crowd, but never gives any away. Hardcore appears to be having sex with someone in the first row. The champions are announced and they come to the top of the ramp, wearing the championships of course. They make their way to the ring and Phantos will start things off. Hardcore evidently finishes up and slides into the ring, Phantos looks a little hesitant to touch him, and really, can you blame him? The two meet in the center of the ring and before they can lock up Hardcore pops Phantos with a chop to the chest. Phantos responds with several knife edge chops to the chest that backs Hardcore to the ropes. Phantos whips him across the ring and elevates him with a big back body drop. Hardcore gets to his feet and eats a drop kick to the face that sends him into the ropes again, and as he rebounds, Phantos snaps him over with a perfect arm drag. Hardcore gets to his feet in the corner and Phantos charges in and monkey flips him out of the corner to the middle of the ring. Hardcore has had enough and he crawls to his corner and tags in MacCappington. MacCappington wants the larger Lucios, so Phantos obliges him by tagging the big man in. The two meet in the center of the ring and MacCappington wants a test of strength. They lock up and its like two bulls going at it. MacCappington gets the advantage early driving Lucios to his knees, but behind the crowds urgings Lucios fights back to his feet and eventually turns the tables driving MacCappington to his knees. Lucios gets MacCAppington all the way to the mat, then releases and double stomps MacCappington’s hands. MacCappington howls in pain and backs away to the corner. Lucios pursues MAcCappington into the corner and FFM baits him in, then grabs the tights and pulls him into the turnbuckle. Lucios’ head snaps back and he slumps to the mat. MacCappington pulls him up in the corner and drills him with several elbows to the side of the head. Then pulls him out of the corner and hauls him up in a vertical suplex, then turns him over and JACKHAMMERS him to the mat. MAcCappington covers and gets a two count before Lucios rolls his shoulder. MacCappington pulls Lucios into a sitting position and reaches out and tags in Hardcore, Ryan steps between the ropes and nails Lucios with a dropkick to the face and covers and gets another two count. Hardcore pulls Lucios up and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a kick to the gut that doubles him over and bounds off the ropes and takes him down with a scissors kick to the back of the head. Hardcore runs to the ropes and hits a spring board moonsault and covers, and gets a two count that is broken up by Phantos. Hardcore gets to his feet and nails Phantos from behind as he is leaving the ring, sending him to the outside. As Hardcore turns back around, Lucios is just getting to his feet, Hardcore charges, but runs right into a boot to the face. Hardcore staggers and Lucios grabs him and hits a pumphandle slam, driving Hardcore to the mat. Lucios tags in Phantos, and Phantos climbs the ropes and hits 360 SSP! He slams onto Hardcore driving the wind out of him, hooks the leg and gets the one two three as Lucios charges across the ring and keeps MacCappington from interfering. WINNERS in 15:59 – and still OOWF World Tag Team Champions – Phantos & Lucios After the match, MacCappington vents his frustration over their inability to beat Phantos & Lucios by hitting a GREETINGS FROM PACIFIC HEIGHTS on the referee! Before he and Hardcore can do anymore damage, Phantos and Lucios slide back into the ring and chase them away. ALEXANDER DARLING vs. CHRIS COLE – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match “The Main Event” makes his way to the ring first and gets hammered by boos and cat calls from the fans. Cole completely ignores the fans and makes his way to the ring and steps between the ropes. The Intercontinental champion Alexander Darling is announced and he comes out to the top of the ramp and hesitates for a moment as he gets cheered pretty loudly by the crowd. Do they actually like Alexander Darling, or do they just hate Chris Cole that much? Either way, Darling makes his way to the ring and steps between the ropes and hands the title to the referee who calls for the bell to start the match. They circle and lock up, Cole immediately goes to the eyes, then grabs Darling and throws him into the corner, but down, so his slides and his shoulder slams into the post. Cole leaves the ring and repeatedly slams Darlings arm into the ring post. The referee checks to make sure Darling is ok, and he can continue. Cole pulls Darling onto the apron and repeatedly kicks at his shoulder. Darling rolls back into the ring grabbing his shoulder, and struggles to his feet. Cole steps between the ropes and charges and catches Darling with a high knee right on the shoulder that sends him to the mat. Cole pulls Darling to his feet and hammerlocks him, then scoops him up and plants him on the mat. Cole falls on Darling and gets a one count, but Darling is out in plenty of time. As Darling tries to get up, Cole grabs his arm and drives him back down to the mat with a shoulderbreaker and locks him in a Fujiwara arm bar trying for the submission. Darling won’t quit and works himself to the ropes forcing the break. The referee backs Cole off and Darling gets to his feet. Cole charges in, but Darling catches him with a knee to the midsection that doubles him over, then rocks him with a European uppercut, with the good arm of course. Darling pulls Cole off the mat and runs him head first into the turnbuckle and lets Cole fall to the mat. Darling’s arm is just hanging, how much can a one armed wrestler really do? We get our answer fast enough as Darling charges into the corner and drives his knee into Cole’s face. Darling pulls Cole out of the corner and covers him, and gets a two count. Darling mounts Cole and hammers him in the face with closed fist punches drawing a warning from the referee. Finally the ref makes Darling break the hold and he and Cole both get to their feet. Cole is staggered from the repeated shots to the head and Darling grabs him and plants him with a pendulum back breaker, then heads to the corner and climbs to the second rope trying for an elbow drop to the throat, but Cole moves out of the way at the last second. Cole gets to his feet and scoops Darling up and hits the HEADLINER! Cole covers and hooks the leg, one, two, thre…..NO! Darling got his foot on the ropes! Cole doesn’t see the foot on the ropes and celebrates like he won the title. When the referee tells him about the foot, Cole rears back like he is going to pop the referee. Before he can, however, Darling grabs him from behind and rolls him up, and might have had just a bit of tights for good measure, and gets the one, two, three! WINNER in 16:10 – and still OOWF Intercontinental Champion – Alexander Darling After the match, Cole immediately pops to his feet and screams at the referee about the pull of the tights. Alexander Darling slides out of the ring, grabs his shoulder and his IC title and heads to the back while Cole swears bloody revenge. LD WILLIAMS vs. BLITZ – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match Blitz comes to the ring, still a little hazy from the match earlier tonight. The OOWF world heavyweight champion LD Williams is announced and he makes his way to the ring. The two men meet in the middle of the ring and exchange a handshake. Wait, they are HEELS! This should not happen! Somewhere Kayfabe suffers her 721st stroke. They slowly circle and lock up, Williams immediately slips behind Blitz and hammers him on the back of the neck with a forearm that sends Blitz to the mat. Blitz springs back to his feet and goes after LD again, they lock up again, and once again, LD slips behind Blitz and catches him with a forearm to the back of the neck, this time Blitz doesn’t go down, instead he staggers forward a few steps and then hits a Pele kick that catches LD on top of the head! The champ goes down in a heap, and Blitz leaves the ring and waits on the apron, as LD gets to his feet, Blitz springs off the top rope and catches LD by the head and hits a perfect diamond cutter, which no doubt is irritating Davin Moreland. Blitz covers, but LD rolls his shoulder before Blitz can even get a one count. Both men get to their feet and Blitz sweeps LD’s legs sending him back to the mat. Blitz sits LD up and connects with a drop kick to the back of the head, then slams LD back to the mat and springs off the ropes and hits a rolling senton, rolls through and bounds off the ropes again, just as LD is struggling to one knee and catches him in the temple with a knee. The champion falls to the mat and Blitz covers and gets a two count. LD bails out of the ring for a moment, and inside Blitz gets a head of steam and leaps between the ropes, but LD side steps him and Blitz slams into the steel barricade. LD grabs Blits and rolls him onto the apron, then climbs up himself and hits a drop off DDT slamming Blitz’s face into the canvas. LD shoves Blitz back into the ring and locks him in an abdominal stretch, making sure to twist his neck as well as his torso, trying for the submission. Blitz struggles and yells in pain, but he will not give up. Finally he slips out of it and hip tosses LD to the mat, but Blitz drops to one knee in pain and can’t take advantage of the situation. LD gets to his feet and catches Blitz with a boot to the face that sends him back to the mat. LD drops an elbow across Blitz’s chest and covers him for a two count. Williams appears to be in complete control here. He pulls Blitz to his feet and whips him into the corner, but Blitz scales the ropes and turns on a dime and hits a missile drop kick to LD’s face that sends him across the ring. Blitz gets to his feet to face a charging LD Williams, Blitz catches LD and rolls through to a single leg crab! LD is stunned momentarily, but once the referee asks him if he wants to quit, he gives an emphatic NO! and slowly crawls to the ropes and forces the break. Blitz pulls LD to his feet and takes him over with a half nelson suplex. Blitz climbs to the top rope and hits the BLITZ FLIP! We could have a new world champion! One, two, thre…..NO! LD rolls his shoulder at the last second! Blitz can feel it though, he lets LD get to his knees then connects with the SHINER! LD is in real trouble now! Blitz pulls him to his feet and hits a corkscrew brain buster, then climbs to the top ropes again and tries a frog splash, but LD gets his knees up! Blitz crashes and burns! LD struggles to his feet using the ropes to pull himself up, Blitz is up as well and he charges at LD, LD back drops him over the top rope, and Blitz hits the floor hard. LD slides out of the ring and grabs Blitz for a whip, but then reverses it into a neckbreaker on the floor. LD rolls Blitz into the ring and covers, but he can only keep him down for a two count. LD shows a little frustration and grabs Blitz by the head and hammers him with shots to the face, the pulls him to his feet and hits a belly to back suplex, dropping Blitz right on the back of his head. LD locks Blitz in a camel clutch trying for a submission, pulling back on his neck and repeatedly crossfacing his face trying for a submission, but Blitz refuses to give up. LD finally releases the hold and jerks Blitz to his feet and tries a European uppercut, but Blitz grabs LD’s arm and takes him over for a back slide that gets him a two count! The champ is getting annoyed now. He just clocks Blitz with a straight right that sends Blitz against the ropes, then tries a whip, but Blitz reverses it. Blitz lowers his head a moment too soon and LD grabs him for a DDT, but Blitz slips out of it and grabs LD for a side Russian leg sweep, but LD reaches down and grabs Blitz’s leg and drops him to the mat. Blitz tries to spin out of it, but LD drops down on him and locks him in the STF! LD tears at Blitz trying once again for the submission, and once again, Blitz refuses to give up despite being in incredible pain. After several long minutes, Blitz makes it to the ropes and forces the break. LD gets to his feet and tries a suplex, but Blitz slips out of it and lands on his feet behind LD, before Blitz can do anything though, LD spins and catches Blitz with a knee to the gut, then DRIVES him to the mat with a DDT! This one is done. LD rolls Blitz over and hooks the leg and gets the hard fought one, two, three. WINNER in 20:18 – LD Williams After the match the referee hands LD Williams the belt and he is about to leave the ring when he pauses. LD turns around and helps Blitz to his feet and they exchange another handshake, then the very manly quick hug of mutual respect, and Kayfabe pulls a Kurt Cobain in the back. The crowd gives the two men grudging cheers despite being members of Team Bennett. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Judgment Eve III, Live August 30 from Qeqetarsauq, Greenland! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! August 20th, from Sabugal, Portugal! For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts Join us for OOWF [urhttp://natecorbitt.proboards81.com/index.cgi?action=chat]Chat[/url] on Wednesday nights![/b]
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Jack Quinn Aug 13, 2008 17:49:13 GMT -5 |
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(OOC: Who had the idea to give Spin the Hellavator for a finisher? They deserve an exalt. I'm adding the Double Shot to my finisher list post-haste.)
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Spinch Aug 7, 2008 11:35:55 GMT -5 |
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*FADE IN*
We’re still in the main room of the Run DEA Luxury Suites as Firewoman just stormed off to her personal locker room after yet another confrontation about her rumored condition. Alexander stands there staring at Fire’s door and seems to be contemplating going to check on her, but then he realizes how stupid that idea would be so he just yells out… Alexander: FIRE…IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND AND WANNA TALK, I’LL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU…REALLY. There is no response from Firewoman’s locker room so Alexander just shrugs and heads over to the SONY Entertainment Center as he seems to be looking through a stack of beverage coasters. [i[Ah, here it is.[/i] Alexander pulls out a DVD and pops it into the Sony Blu-Ray Player before taking a seat in the recliner and hitting play. After a few moments, the DVD begins to play and the first image we see on screen is… THE MAIN EVENT And now we realize that Alexander is playing the life and times retrospective of Chris Cole that he was giving out earlier this year. Alexander is really focusing on the documentary portion of the DVD and as time passes we see him nod at certain things and seem to contemplate other parts of it. Finally the images come to an end and Alexander flicks the television off and sits in silence for a few moments and then he just starts laughing. It actually takes him a few minutes to calm down and by this time LonelyGirl15 has joined him in the suite and is staring at him like he’s lost his mind. LonelyGirl15: Are you going nuts again? Alexander turns to LG and smiles at her and she melts just a little bit before he really turns on the charm. Alexander: Not at all sweet stuff. I actually feel as if things are going back to normal for now. I got my title back. There’s a cease-fire so for now I don’t have to worry about Moose trying to get revenge. And now I just watched the funniest DVD ever. LG15: I barely caught the end of it, was it an OOWF highlights DVD or something? Alexander: Something like that…it was actually *cough* The Best of Chris Cole and The 3 Piece Set *cough* . I really need a good classic slapstick comedy. LG15: What makes you say that? Alexander: Are you turning into my plot device? LG15: I can turn into more than that. Alexander: I know you can, but we’ll save that for later. So, feel like being my plot device for now? LG15: Sure Mr. Darling. Now, time for some hard-hitting questions; why have you always had this condescending attitude towards Chris Cole? Alexander: Right to the point, new technique for you. The thing about Chris Cole is that he really is all just talk. Over the past few months, I’ve made some comments that Moosehead Jack was a has been and living off past glory and while I’m not going to take those comments back, we just went through war with each other. And the thing about Moose is even if I think that’s true, even a has-been Moose is still one of the nastiest pieces of shit in the world and I mean that as a compliment. LG15: So, then you and Moose? Alexander: Ha, no, there will never be a reason to put Alexander Darling and Moosehead Jack together like that. But my point is that while he’s on one end of the has-been spectrum, Chris Cole is truly on the other end. The almighty Main Event Chris Cole is really someone who needs to look in a mirror and realize what’s happening right now. LG15: And what is happening? Alexander: What’s happening is that this entire company is passing Chris Cole by and he’s too dense and caught up in his own history to realize it. He made a big splash in his return by setting The Rick up and I actually must applaud him for that. LG15: But you’re on Team Rick. How can you applaud a move like that? Alexander: Because moves like that showed me that Chris Cole may have still had a heartbeat. A pulse. A heart. I was wrong. That one fleeting moment when Chrissy had Rick in the cage was something but ever since that day, he’s lost the thing that made him The Main Event. LG15: And what’s that? Alexander: I’m not exactly sure what made Chris Cole “The Main Event,” but I do know it’s not there anymore. See I just watched your cute little career retrospective and it keyed me on a few things. One, there was a point where you, Firechild, and Ax-Man truly were something to hold up to a pedestal and revere. My god, you were the fucking 3 Piece Set. You did anything you wanted to and no one could stop you. LG15: Why is that something you revere Alex? Alexander: When I was a young wrestling fan, it wasn’t the Hulk Hogan or Sting or anyone like that who I truly wanted to be. It was the Rick Rude of the Dangerous Alliance, Shane Douglas of the Triple Threat,…to be part of a group that could run this business. And here in the OOWF, for a long time, that was 3 Piece Set. But their time has come and gone and as I said all those months ago to Cole, it’s time for a new group to step into the limelight. LG15: And I bet you have an opinion as to who that group should be? Alexander: You know me so well, little one. Look around these suites and you will the see the greatest collection of talent brought together under one banner. The current World Tag Team Champions wrestle for Run DEA. The current Campeonas de Trios wrestle for Run DEA. And the current Intercontinental Champion is sitting in front of you wrestling for Run DEA. And that’s not even getting to the fact that Firewoman truly is the uncrowned Onslaught Champion as she’s never been beaten for it. LG15: I think you might be forgetting someone… Alexander: Ah yes, Davin MOTHERFUCKIN Moreland….hmmm, why would I leave him for last when discussing just what Run DEA has become. Oh, that’s right…because if there’s one person in this locker room that you have first-hand knowledge of Chrissy, it’s Davin. See, he took your precious #1 contendership and he’s going to use that to bring the big belt home. LJ15: So, then why wrestle Cole if you feel he’s fallen so far. Alexander: Because he doesn’t feel it yet. Davin put him into stage one when he took the #1 contendership from him. Stank pushed him down even more. And I will be more than happy to put the finishing touches on Chris Cole’s Main Event career. LG15: And how do you plan on doing that? Alexander: Pretty simply, by going out there and being Alexander Darling and showing the world and especially Chris Cole that he’s no longer The Main Event, in fact…he’s not even going to be good enough to be The Intercontinental Champion. Pretty soon, he’s going to be jerking the curtain against DeBeers. LG15: Any final words? Alexander: There is one thing; some people have said that I’ve been ducking someone. That I’m afraid of someone in this locker room. After the stuff I’ve been through in this company alone, the fact that someone could even consider that boggles my mind. The day will come when he and I will step foot in that ring and there is no doubt it in my mind that we will tear the fucking roof off whatever building we’re in. But fate has a different plan in store for now. But the time will come and we’ll put the most violent matches this company has ever had to shame. And that’s a fucking guarantee. *Fade*
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DevSop Aug 6, 2008 1:18:08 GMT -5 |
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some stuff from OO that I noticed while I was moving posts (from the Memory Jogger thread over there)
Gimmick of the Year - I'm calling it now. A heel wrestling in a bunny suit. Simply untouchable. - Tommy *************************** Promo of the Year No need to bookmark anything else for this category. - Mike **************************** Mike, you must be talking about Blown Spot's poker promo (featuring Viper) or my promo where Viper beats up Rabbxt. - Viper **************************** Match of the Year I heard people liked the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship Unification Match, with Alexander Darling vs. Moosehead Jack vs. Rabbxt. I thought that Eric O'Mac vs. Alexander Darling was good. I know I had some other candidates a few weeks ago, but they've slipped my mind. Gimmick of the Year I'm liking Tommy's choice on this one. - Bunny *************************** MOTY P&L/Def from End Of Days - Phantos & Lucios OBJ/Moreland - 2nd Round Champions Bracket Invitational Tournament Also: Capellan/Rabbxt from Round 1 (I think) from the invitational - Tommy **************************** Originally posted by firewoman Dunno where this should go, nomination wise, but this had me laughing my ass off in my office Ric Flair runs over Ric: “Whooooo what the hell are you doing?” Seamus still holding the hotdog, slaps Ric across the face JR: “Flair’s been cut wide open…” thread is here: www.oowrestling.com/OOForums/viewthread.php?tid=20839&page=1 **************************** Tooting my own horn (since noone else here will) Promo Of the Year www.oowrestling.com/OOForums/viewthread.php?tid=20778 P&L Title Ceremony featuring Robert Gibson, Ricky Morton, Ty Detmer, Stan Lane, Bobby Eaton, Dennis Condrey, Arn Anderson, Rick Neuheisel, Red McCombs, Indra K. Nooyi, David Robinson, Susan Lucci, Road Dogg Jesse James, Shawn Michaels, Stormy Daniels, Ken Jennings, The Spirits of Gorilla Monsoon & Gordon Solie. First promo of the Thread Match of the year natecorbitt.proboards81.com/index.cgi?board=oowf&action=display&thread=777 First match of the card - Phantos & Lucios natecorbitt.proboards81.com/index.cgi?board=oowf&action=display&thread=2298&page=2 Blown spot's epic faces kick the heels' asses. - Firewoman
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Jack Quinn Aug 5, 2008 11:44:48 GMT -5 |
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FADE INTO THE ER AT THE ISAFJORDHUR HOSPITAL
EMT workers burst in with Skurge strapped to a gurney with SYB and The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth at his side. Doctor: (in broken English) OK what we have here? DM: I don't know doctor, we were out and about celebrating a big win and he just fainted. SYB: Aboot. Doctor: Sir please no monkey business, yes? (to DM) Continue yes? DM: My boys won a big match and we started drinking. I opened a bottle of champagne and he collapsed. SYB: Hoser can't hold his liquor. He fell after sniffing the bottle, eh? Doctor: He is Joo yes? SYB nods. Doctor: That explain it. Joo is weak and cannot drink. Skurge is slowly coming to. Skurge: Great Odin's raven, what happened? SYB: You passed oot. Skurge: But I-I-I didn't drink anything. I haven't touched a drop since the Manischewitz at my bar mitzvah. Doctor: You have Joo liver, yes? You are lightweight. No more drinking. SYB: No more drinking? Good thing you're not Canadian, Solly. We come oot of the womb with a case of Labatts, eh? Skurge: (to DM) Now it's coming back. You paid a visit to Moose, right? DM: I did... and I told MooseheadJack off. Skurge & SYB: Heh heh heh heh heh. DM: (rolls her eyes) Is he going to be OK, Doctor? We have a match tomorrow. Doctor: He will be good, yes? He will still be Joo though. Skurge: (mutters) Eat a goat cock. SYB: Beauty, he'll be fine. DM: Whew. Let's give him time to rest, Skurge. We still have another bottle... SYB: That's what I'm talking aboot! *FADE OUT*
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Jack Quinn Jul 31, 2008 13:48:36 GMT -5 |
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OOWF Rankings for 07/30/08[/u]
OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – LD Williams (+13, 27-14) 1. Alexander Darling – OOWF Intercontinental Champion (+4, 18-14) 2. Attitude Adjuster – OOWF Onslaught Champion (+14, 21-7) 3. F. Fonzworth MacCappington III (+12, 30-18) 4. Chris Cole (+12, 22-10) 5. Davin Moreland (+11, 28-17) 6. Moosehead Jack (+9, 23-14) 7. Firewoman (+8, 26-18) 8. Eric O’Mac (+8, 20-12) 9. Phantos (+7, 28-21) 10. The Dead (+7, 23-16) 11. DH Magnusson ((+5, 29-24) 12. Lucios (+5, 27-22) 13. Skurge (+5, 18-13) 14. Seamus McNasty (+3, 23-20) 15. Tyson Kincaid (+3, 10-7) 16. Spin Hansen (+2, 27-25) 17. Stank (+2, 19-17) 18. Poe (+2. 7-5) 19. Tytan (+2, 7-5) 20. ZK DeBeers (+1, 4-3) 21. Austin Cage (+1, 1-0) 22. The Amnesiac (-1, 7- 23. Outback Jack (-4, 19-23) 24. Concrete TG (-4, 12-16) 25. Carl From Fresno (-4, 5-9) 26. Blitz (-6, 18-24) 27. Justin Sane (-7, 1- 28. Mark Vander (-8, 4-12) 29. Bunny (-9, 16-25) 30. SYB (-11, 19-30) 31. Ryan Hardcore (-13, 15-28) 32. Knife (-13, 10-23) 33. Apocalyptic Existence (-13, 3-16) 34. WWE (-19, 15-34) 35. TNA (-20, 8-28) OOWF World Tag Team Title Rankings[/u] OOWF World Tag Team Champions – Phantos & Lucios (+2, 19-17) 1. The Midnight Sons (+5, 20-15) 2. IHOP (+3, 15-12) 3. Worlds Greatest Fag Team (+1, 3-2) 4. Carl From Fresno & Bunny (-2, 0-2) 5. Cape Town Cannibals (-10, 0-10)
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Jack Quinn Jul 30, 2008 19:02:06 GMT -5 |
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OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Luxor, Egypt AUSTIN CAGE vs. THE DARK PRINCE The Dark Prince is part of the Egyptian Wrestling Federation, and is one large man, standing almost seven feet tall and weighing in at almost 350 lbs. He slowly makes his way to the ring and steps over the top rope. Austin Cage is announced and he walks to the ring completely focused on the task at hand. Cage is making his OOWF debut, but has experience in MMA, so he is no stranger to being in the ring. Cage steps between the ropes and the two men meet in the center of the ring. The Dark Prince towers over Cage, but Cage doesn’t look a bit intimidated. The bell rings and the two men slowly circle, TDP shoves Cage, and Cage immediately comes back with a shot to the nose that evidently breaks TDP’s nose, because blood pours down his face. TDP falls to one knee and Cage catches him with a spinning heel kick to the jaw that sends the big man to the mat. Cage immediately pounces on TDP, and tries to lock him in a rear naked choke, but TDP covers up and won’t let him get his arms around his neck. Cage hammers the back of Prince’s head with forearms, beating him mercilessly. TDP finally makes it to the ropes forcing the break. The Dark Prince gets to his feet and wobbles a bit from the shots to the back of the head. They meet in the center of the ring again and lock up and TDP buries a knee into Cage’s midsection, doubling him over in pain. TRP sends him to the ropes and tries a big boot to the face, but Cage side steps the boot, grabs the leg in the air and sweeps the other leg sending The Dark Prince to the mat. Cage immediately locks on the ankle lock, grapevines the leg and falls to the mat. The Dark Prince, despite his size advantage, cannot make it to the ropes and he is forced to tap before Cage breaks his ankle. Quiet an impressive debut for Cage! WINNER in 2:12 – Austin Cage CONCRETE TG vs. APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE Sterling Glaw is YOUR Referee! Concrete down first, slapping hands with the crowd and shaking hands with Glaw once Crete is done posing on the corners. AE walks out with Chad Patton at his side, Patton is carrying a very innocent-looking gym bag. AE enters the ring and stares down at Crete, who doesn't seem fazed by AE's intimidating presence. Glaw takes a moment to speak to Patton, who doesn't have a straight answer to why he'd steal Chioda's gym bag. Glaw lets it go for the moment and calls for the bell. Lockup to start, Crete with a power disadvantage this time around. AE gets Crete to the corner, Glaw calls for a break and gets a clean one. AE swings at Crete, who ducks out of the way gets get AE stuck in the corner. He stuns AE with a few blistering chops before slinging him to the opposite corner. Crete charges but AE catches him with a back elbow, stunning him long enough to get run over by an AE power clothesline. First cover of the match only gets a one count, Patton applauding AE's progress. Glaw gives Patton an odd look as AE pulls Crete off the mat and body slams him in the middle of the ring. He stomps away until he's pulled off by Glaw. Crete rolls toward the corner, where Patton just smiles at Crete and looks over at the gym bag. Crete shakes his head clear and tries to pull himself to his feet when AE stomps on his back again and presses him in place. AE stands on Crete's back and pulls the ropes, adding pressing and angering Glaw, who has to force himself not to count fast on the five-count to get AE to let go. AE climbs down while Crete gasps for breath. AE argues with Glaw for a few seconds, allowing Patton to choke CTG on the bottom rope. AE turns back around and Glaw ALMOST catches Patton at work. He gives Patton a dark look before having to get AE break Crete from another choke. AE stands and poses, angering the crowd. Crete catches his breath for a few seconds and Glaw checks on him. Crete pushes to all fours and gets a nasty kick to the ribs. AE goes for the arrogant pin but Crete kicks out at 2. AE gets Crete off the mat and slings him to the ropes, catching him on the rebound for a gorilla press. When he tries to drop Crete, CTG catches AE's shoulders and plants him with a DDT! Crowd starts perking up as Crete pushes unsteadily to his feet. AE is still down! HEROES' TAUNT! Glaw hides a smile as CTG rolls AE over for the WALK-UP MOONSAULT! Crete hooks the outside leg but ONLY A TWO COUNT! Crete is a little surprised but doesn't waste time as he gets AE off the mat again. The two start brawling as AE gets the cobwebs cleared from his head. He slams Crete in the corner and looks for Patton - but Patton is being dragged up the ramp by his ear? Is that Chad's father, WWE Truck Driver BILL PATTON? AE watches this in shock and calls after Chad, trying not to mention the brick. He's forgotten his opponent, who rams AE in the gut with the C-T-G! AE falls back to the mat as Crete slips back in. AE is now flat on his face! Crete grabs for AE and punishes him with FINAL JUSTICE! Winded and barely conscious, AE doesn't move as Glaw counts 3. WINNER in 8:24 Concrete TG After the match, Crete gathers the duffel bag and hands it to Glaw. Glaw takes out his cell phone to call Chioda and let him know where his bags ended up from the last overseas tour. WORLDS GREATEST FAG TEAM & TYTAN vs. ZK DEBEERS & CAPT TOWN CANNIBALS DeBeers sends out WWE to start things off against Tytan. Tytan uses his considerable size and strength advantage to quickly trap WWE in a corner. Tytan pummels him with a series of forearm shots before whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle. WWE hits the corner so hard that he bounces out and Tytan wrecks him with a clothesline. Tytan laughs and then tags in Ryan Hardcore. Hardcore keeps the pressure on with a series of stomps to the prone WWE. Hardcore picks him up and slings him into the ropes. WWE comes bouncing back and is promptly dropped with a dropkick. Hardcore goes for the cover. One...Two...WWE kicks out. Hardcore gets to his feet and tags in MacCappington. WWE is crawling to his corner, but instead of stopping him MacCappington just allows TNA to get the tag. TNA charges directly at MacCappington while screaming wildly. Bad idea. MacCappington delivers a massive belly-to-belly suplex that takes the air completely out of TNA. Instead of going for the cover, MacCappington picks up TNA and slings him into the corner. After a few heavy right hands, FF backs up and charges across the ring. TNA has no energy left and is destroyed by a huge splash. MacCappington backs out of the corner and TNA falls face first onto the mat. MacCappington goes for the cover. One...Two...Thr...DeBeers breaks up the pin! FF gets to his feet and looks a little less than pleased. He looks at DeBeers and seems to say, "Big mistake". The referee sends DeBeers back to the apron and MacCappington tags in Tytan. MacCappington whispers something to Tytan before Tytan picks up TNA and drops him on his head. Tytan whips TNA into his own corner, but instead of following him in, he just waits. DeBeers tags himself in and the Fag Team and Tytan smile. DeBeers rushes Tytan and tries to take him down with a clothesline, but Tytan absorbs it. DeBeers tries again, but this time Tytan catches him and delivers a brain-rattling head butt. Tytan tags in MacCappington who immediately splashes down on DeBeers. Cover. One...Two...DeBeers kicks out. FF picks him up sends him into the corner. MacCappington connects with a few vicious back elbows and then drops DeBeers with a DDT. MacCappington picks up DeBeers, who is barely able to stay on his feet. FF nods towards Hardcore and Tytan and then picks up DeBeers. Greetings from Pacific Heights! MacCappington with the cover. WWE and TNA can't make the cover because they are getting pummeled on the outside by Ryan Hardcore and Tytan! One...Two...Three. WINNERS in 6:38 - The World's Greatest Fag Team and Tytan SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. POE “Fields of Athenry” fires up and Seamus McNasty makes his way down to the ring, yapping with fans along the way. He gets in and nods to Davis Hightower before “For Whom the Bell Tolls” start up, and Poe is roundly booed as he makes his way to the ring with Selena; still sporting bandages from his encounter at the PPV on Sunday. He gingerly makes his way into the ring. Hightower nods to both corners and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! The two big men lock up to a stalemate, before Seamus works an Arm bar into a hammerlock. Two shoulder slaps later, Poe reverses into his own hammerlock for a bit before shoving Seamus into the ropes. Seamus ducks a clothesline, but Poe beautifully counters a Flying Burrito with a Snap-Mare Takeover into a headlock. Seamus doesn’t waste much time getting to his feet, and is able to twist around and get his leverage back. He shoves Poe off, and delivers a low kick to Poe’s ankle, and Poe immediately collapses to the ground. Seamus covers, but that only gets one. Poe is VISIBLY pissed off. He charges after Seamus and starts unleashing wicked rights and lefts and I think that will conclude our “wrestling” portion of the match. Poe beats Seamus all the way into the corner, and seems to have opened up a cut over Seamus’ eye the hard way. Poe unleashes some chops before hitting Seamus in the chin with a high knee lift that may have knocked him out. Seamus collapses to the mat and Poe covers, which gets a long two count. Poe drags Seamus up to his feet, and lifts him up for a DOMINATOR. He covers again; that gets two. Poe picks Seamus up again, but now Seamus battles back with chops and punches. He whips Poe into the far ropes and chases after him, hitting a FINNEGAN’S WAKE. Both men are down and Hightower starts a count. Seamus is up first at 4, and starts a ROCKY ROAD TO DUBLIN on Poe. Seamus covers, and that gets two. He hauls a hurting Poe up to his feet. He hefts him onto his shoulders…LOWLANDS OF HOLLAND! Cover: 1, 2, NO! Seamus can’t believe it, but it did appear Poe kicked out in time. Seamus screams to the crowd “NO! NAY! NEVER!” and gets the familiar response from the crowd. He gets Poe up…he’s looking for the WILD ROVER! Poe REVERSES and HANGS ON hitting a modified DDT! He picks Seamus up…PENDULUM! He picks Seamus up one more time… CRUCIFIXION! It’s Over! WINNER in 11:16 by PINFALL…POE! ERIC O’MAC vs. SPIN HANSEN Spin Hansen comes to the ring first, with a disturbing far away look in his eyes. He steps between the ropes and paces inside the ring like a caged animal. Eric O’Mac is announced and he comes out to the top of the ramp with a disturbed look on his face and his trusty sledgehammer in his hands. Eric makes his way to the ring, but before he can get into the ring, the referee demands that he put the sledge away at ring side. After threatening the referee Eric finally sets the sledge down and slides into the ring. The second he gets to his feet he and Spin go at it trading rights and lefts to the head and face. Neither man shows a bit of expression as they take out their frustrations and building dementia on one another. Finally Spin catches Eric with a knee to the gut, then throws him into the corner. Spin charges, but Eric side steps and Spin crashes into the turnbuckle. Eric takes Spin to the mat with a Randy Orton backbreaker then does the good old fashioned double choke right in front of the referee. The ref gets to four before Eric breaks the hold, then pulls Spin to his feet and throws him out of the ring to the floor. Eric steps out of the ring and catches Spin with a clothesline off the apron as he gets to his feet, the back of Spin’s head slams into the floor and he is knocked a little loopy. Eric mounts Spin and hammers him with shots to the face, finally Spin seems to regain his senses and he shoves Eric to one side and tries to get to his feet. As he does, Eric charges at him, but this time it is Spin’s turns to side step and Eric crashes face first into the ring post. Spin grabs him and shoots him back into the ring the follows. As Eric gets to his feet, Spin scoops him up and plants him on the mat with a slam, then drops an elbow across his sternum. Spin tries to lock in the Anaconda vice, but Eric scoots around the ring and gets his foot on the bottom rope forcing the break. Spin releases him, then pulls Eric to his feet and sends him to the ropes and kills Eric with a snap power slam, Spin covers and gets a two count before Eric can roll his shoulder. Eric kicks out and gets to his feet and stumbles into the corner, Spin charges and avalanches him in the corner and Eric staggers out and falls to the mat. Spin pounces on Eric and tries to lock him in the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, but Eric slithers away and escapes out of the ring. Inside the ring Spin yells at the referee for letting Eric make it out of the ring, kind of not the referee’s fault there Spin. While Spin is doing that, Eric grabs the trusty sledge and waits outside the ring. Finally Spin gets done arguing and reaches between the ropes to pull Eric back into the ring, Eric turns and BLASTS Spin between the eyes with the sledgehammer! Spin just slumps on the ropes, barely conscious and blood pouring from a nasty gash on his head. The referee somehow never saw a thing. Eric connects with a European uppercut that sends Spin back into the ring. Eric hops onto the apron and then right to the top rope and hits the MAC ATTACK! Hooks the leg, and the pin is academic. WINNER in 10:08 – Eric O’Mac After the match Eric grabs his sledgehammer and slides back into the ring waiting for Spin to get to his feet. Before he can do anything though, Chris Cole, Moosehead Jack and The Dead all hit the ring and pull Eric away, attacking Spin would have violated the Cease Fire and earned Eric a 30 day suspension. Eric just grins maniacally as the others lead him up the ramp. STANK & DAVIN MORELAND vs. CHRIS COLE & TYSON KINCAID The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for this next match. Senior Referee Mel Creech waits in the ring for the participants to enter, presumably ninja-style because these aren’t regular teams. Tyson Kincaid is greeted to a chorus of boos,. He nods to Mel Creech who returns the nod and rests against the turnbuckle. Chris Cole comes out next and is booed even more. They bounce from one foot to the other as if to warm up. The Best English-Speaker in all of Egypt gets into the ring with a mic to make the announcement. BESIAOE: Ladies and Gentlemen, representing Revolution XXX, Tyson Kincaid, and his partner, The Main Event, Chris Cole!!!!! The crowd boos lustily. BESIAOE: And their opponents… The crowd rises to their feet as one in anticipation, waiting for the ninja-style announcements. They are thrown for a big loop as... ...his comes on the Jumbotron. Huh? Does this mean? BESIAOE: Weighing in at a combined weight of 650 lbs…the team of Davin Moreland and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion…Stank! Somewhere, Firewoman is smiling as a tag team comes out TOGETHER…LIKE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO! Davin Moreland and Stank appear in matching red singlets with silver trim, grin at each other and head down quickly toward the ring. The slap hands with the fans in speedy fashion. Cole and Kincaid bail and Davin and Stank pose on opposite turnbuckles, jump down to the mat, and do a choreographed stereo pose before bumping knuckles and Stank going to the outside. Sound familiar? It should. This is the EXACT same thing that happened last time. Anyways, it looks like Kincaid will start against Stank. Kincaid goes at Stank wither clubbering blows to the chest, while Stank just absorbs it all and then unleashed a big right that knocks Kincaid down! Kincaid scrambles to get up quickly and he meets another! Chris Cole gets in and he meets a right of his own! While the referee is content with getting Cole out of the ring, Kincaid hits Stank with a low blow! Davin tries to get into retaliate, but Creech, successful in getting Cole to his corner, gets in Moreland's face, points to his OOWF patch on his shirt and orders Moreland out of the ring. Meanwhile, behind the referee's back, Cole and Kincaid are putting the boots to Stank, and Kincaid locks in a single crab leg lock! Moreland finally realizes that the double team attack will never end if he doesn't leave the ring and goes back to his corner. Kincaid tags Cole in while Stank is on the ground, holding his leg. Chris Cole comes in the ring, with bad intentions. Cole goes for a cover, 1, 2, but a kick out by Stank. Cole gets up and locks Stank into a headlock, adding intense pressure to Cole's mandible area! Stank tries to get to his feet, but Kincaid seemingly did a number to his right leg with the single leg leg lock...eventually Stank is able to elbow his way out and delivers a power slam! Cole is able to get up and he delivers a dropkick to Stank's right leg! Stank goes down like Bambi's mother, and Cole tags Kincaid back in. Kincaid goes to the top rope and delivers a DOUBLE STOMP to Stank's ailing right leg! Kincaid locks Stank back into the single leg lock and Stank is in pain! He's in the middle of the ring! Creech keeps asking Stank if he wants to give up, but Stank waves him off and tries to crawl for the ropes! The crowd starts clapping and Davin is yelling encouragement as Stank is inches from the ropes! Suddenly, Cole gets into the ring and distracts Mel Creech, as Stank makes the ropes! Kincaid keeps the hold on, because Creech is dealing with Kincaid....and Davin has seen enough. He gets the ring and delivers a stiff kick to Kincaid's mouth! POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER! He picks Kincaid and throws him over the top rope! Creech notices and tells Moreland to get back to his ring, or face disqualification! Remember, #1 rule is to obey the ref's commands at all times. Moreland knows this, and as much as he hates it, he obeys. While Creech is dealing with Moreland, Cole gets in the ring and puts the boots to Stank's right leg! Finally, order is restored, and Kincaid slides back into the ring, Cole and Moreland are in their respective corners, and Stank is on the ground, holding on to his leg. Kincaid goes for the corner, intentionally hooking Stank's right leg to add pain to the pin fall.........1....................2.................and STANK GETS THE SHOULDER UP! Kincaid is livid, and he gets Stank to his feet...and while Stank is up, Kincaid flips off the second rope...looks like he is going to attempt the THIN AIR... BUT STANK CATCHES HIM AND DELIVERS A HUGE SPINEBUSTER! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN! Each man is trying to get to their own corner...Kincaid crawls and tags Cole! Cole gets in and attempts to stop Stank but Stank reaches Moreland's tag and Moreland gets in! Cole immediately backtracks and puts his hands up and Moreland hits Cole with a big right! Another big right! CONSEQUENCES SHUFFLE...without the split, and HUGE LEFT! Kincaid jumps on Moreland's back....but Moreland flips him over and Kincaid lands on his back! Moreland drops a DOUBLE ELBOW and goes for the pin on Cole! 1.........2....and Kincaid breaks up the attempted. Moreland throws a right in Kincaid's direction...BUT CATCHES REFEREE MEL CREECH RIGHT IN THE KISSER! Stank is back to his feet and he clotheslines Kincaid out of the ring! Stank gets Cole to his feet and puts him in a fireman's carry position...Davin goes off the ropes....A REALLY GOOD STANK U DIAMOND CUTTER! CHRIS COLE IS DEAD! Davin goes for the cover.......and nothing. Creech is knocked out. Moreland picks Cole up...and motions for Stank...and Stank does the STANK U to COLE! Cole ain't getting up from that. Moreland takes the opportunity to get Cole up to his feet...and to deliver ANOTHER REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! While this is going on, Kincaid pulls Stank out of the ring and delivers chair shots to Stank's right leg! Already injured, Stank goes down, and Kincaid goes in the ring, and NAILS Davin with a chair shot to the head! Kincaid goes crazy with the chair shots to Davin's body, hitting, 7, 8 different chair shots! Both Cole and Davin are out of it and Stank is on the outside, unable to put weight on his leg! Kincaid puts Cole over Moreland and wakes up the referee....who counts............1..................2.......................................3!!! Kincaid and Cole win! WINNERS IN 10:14....TYSON KINCAID AND CHRIS COLE! Cole and Kincaid immediately slip out of the ring and head to the back. Stank remains on the floor while officials look at his leg. Davin Moreland slowly gets to his feet in the center of the ring when we hear the sarcastic slow clap of someone mocking Davin Moreland. The camera pans up the ramp and we see LJ Bennett at the top of the ramp with a mic: Bravo, bravo, braaaaaaaaaaavo, Mr. Moreland, I have to say that was one HELL of a performance right there. <Davin starts toward the ropes to come after Bennett> I would seriously reconsider what is going through your mind right now, in fact, if I were you I would drag my ass back to the middle of that ring, stand there, keep your mouth shut, and listen to what I have to say. <Moreland is furious in the middle of the ring just staring icily at Bennett>. Well done Mr. Moreland. Now, let’s begin. You see, Davin, we have a very few basic rules here in the OOWF, I am quite sure you know them very well by now given your tenure and status with the OOWF. That is why, on Sunday, after you LOST your match to Poe, your decision to then throw a fireball in his face perplexes me. Now, I know you knew we would see it, and I know you knew there would be repercussions over it, and yet you chose to do it anyway. And do you know WHY you chose to do it anyway? Because, Davin, you have no respect for the rules around here. You are a lose cannon and a threat to yourself and to those around you <big asshole chant starts that Davin acknowledges and encourages>. Now, I am well within my rights to suspend you without pay for thirty days. Send you off to fester in your own anger and rage, but you know what? I am not going o do that. No, I think I have something much better in mind that just might teach you a lesson on when to fall in line and do what you’re told. You know that #1 contender’s spot you won from Chris Cole a few months ago? <with the mention of the contender’s spot Davin’s eyes bug and he looks like he is ready to murder someone> Well, as of right now, you have been stripped of that number one contender’s spot. <massive boos from the crowd> Now, being the fair man that I am, I am going to give you a chance to earn your spot back. So, over the next five weeks, you will face five opponents handpicked by me. You lose even one match and you go to the bottom of the barrel and you will have to fight your way back to the top. And if you do lose, whoever it is that beats you, becomes the new #1 contender. How ya like that Davin? <Davin seethes in the middle of the ring> I told you Davin, you are not above authority here in the OOWF. You WILL fall in line like the rest. Next week, you will face…………Justin Sane. Let’s see how Team Unity does with that Bennett flips the mic aside and walks to the back, inside the ring Davin trembles with rage, then steps between the ropes and marches to the back, not even noticing those around him. INSANE HOMELESS BUNNY vs. THE DEAD, BLITZ & THE AMNESIAC – Campeonas de Trios Championship Match Smashing Pumpkin's "Doomsday Clock" keys up, and since the OOWF is a real wrestling company, the contenders enter first. The threesome enter together, with Blitz still talking rather animatedly to The Dead, who seems to be reassuring him about something. Blitz makes a few animated gestures towards The Amnesiac, who no-sells them like he was from the Northeast or something. The trio enter the ring, and just as they do, a voice cuts off the music: Ayo, Carl - Give them some of the NASTY stuff! The arena fills with what could be generously beat boxing, and the champions are on the ramp! Bunny: I was born to brew up storms and stir up shit Kick up dust, cuss 'til I slur up spit Grew up - too quick went through too much do too much shit Corrupt, and I'm a pour it on like syrup bitch! Thick and rich, sick and twisted, Mr. Buttersworth Davin told me to milk the shit for what it's worth 'til the cow just tilts and tips and stumbles to earth And if I fumble the verse, keep goin First take, I make mistakes, just keep it No punches pulled no punches that's weak shit Fake shit, if I ever take shit I'll EAT shit think you're getting these straps, your heads are fulla shit! The champions make their way to the ring, led by a rapping Bunny and a beat boxing Carl From Fresno to the delight of fans and the obvious consternation of the threesome awaiting them. Justin: I'm an Average Homeb- Justin's would be attempt at rapping is cut off (perhaps mercifully) by an irate Blitz, and Glaw rings the bell! The rest of the wrestlers are ushered back to their respective corners as Blitz lights up Sane with a dazzling array of chops and low legs kicks. sane starts to fire off with a couple of right hands before getting cut by a thumb to the eye. Glaw warns Blitz, who SWEARS it was accidental as he drags Justin to his corner and tags in The Dead, who takes the free shot to the ribs that Blitz offers up. Blitz leaves the ring at 4 and The Dead takes over with a few heavy right hands before shooting Justin hard into the rope and connecting with a huge boot. Scoop and a slam by The Dead, who quickly heads to the second turnbuckle, lines up the elbow, and connects with the canvas as Justin barely rolls away. Both men to their feet, and a series of hard European Uppercuts have The Dead rocked! Justin off the ropes, misses the clothesline and hits the far side ropes before colliding head to head with The Dead. Both men down and Glaw begins the count as they struggle to their corners. Tag by the Dead to THE Amnesiac, who charges in just as Justin makes the HOT TAG TO CARL FROM FRESNO~! Carl comes in with a springboard dropkick that sends THE Amnesiac crashing to the mat, kips up and delivers a standing dropkick to the incoming Blitz! And one to the still dazed Dead on the outside for good measure! Carl From Fresno is a HOUSE OF FIRE! Leaping forearm to THE Amnesiac has his against the ropes and Carl launches with a flying body attack that sends both men to the outside! Carl drags THE Amnesiac to his feet and looks up just in time to see Blitz airborne as he crashes into both men with Asai Moonsault to the outside! Bodies are in heap on the ground, and it looks like Bunny has seen enough inaction as he hops to the ring post and looks to the crowd, who show the appropriate reaction as he comes off with 820 SHOOTING STAR PRESS onto the pile of bodies! Bunny hops up and looks to the crowd, soaking in the applause before getting DECAPITATED by a running elbow from THE DEAD! Dead rains down a series of punches on Bunny's head before picking him...AND THE DEAD CLOSES THE CASKET~! Bunny might be dead! The Dead grabs Bunny's lifeless body, and looks to rolling him into the ring before Carl SPEARS him back to the floor! Standing Blitz Flip onto Carl! Justin is back up, and he lays back into Blitz with a series of leg kicks before hitting a diving lariat! This one is clearly out of control and Glaw knows it, as he calls for the bell! WINNERS - NO CONTEST in 7:54 JUSTIN SANE, BUNNY, and CARL FROM FRESNO retain ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. DH MAGNUSSON (w/Firewoman) – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match There’s a ruckus backstage, as backstage personnel are trying to get Attitude adjuster to go out to the ring first. AA is having none of that, since he knows that champs always enter the ring last unless there is something devious in store that he has to see from the ring. AA jaws with security, who finally picks him up and carry him in front of the curtain and forces him down the entry ramp. AA gets into the ring but continues to argue, now with the ref. Finally, Magnusson’s music plays, and AA watches the entry ramp with dread. But of course like all good heels, AA is so tuned into the entry ramp that he doesn’t see Magnusson come into the ring behind him from the crowd. And he has Firewoman with him!!!!!! AA hears the crowd cheer and does that “Oh shit, what’s behind me?” look, and slowly turns to see Magnusson AND Firewoman. AA goes apeshit, shaking and kicking the ropes and generally behaving like an 8-year-old who didn’t get a candy bar at the grocery store. The ref, having seen enough, calls for the bell. AA instantly bails from the ring and continues complaining. For some reason, he gives the universal sign for “He pulled my hair,” but in the middle of it realizes that he hasn’t even touched Magnusson and sheepishly takes his hand out of his hair. AA threatens to walk, but as he gets near the entry ramp he’s met by Firewoman. AA beats a hasty retreat, and finally decides to get in the ring a good 10 minutes since he walked down the ramp. Somewhere Larry Zbyszko is smiling. Magnusson and AA slowly circle and lock up. Magnusson grabs an arm wringer, then immediately grabs a side head lock and takes AA to the mat, getting in a few closed fist punches for good measure. AA fights to his feet and backs Magnusson into the ropes and forces the break. AA complains to the referee about a hair pull, so Magnusson does grab AA by the hair and drags him around the ring, slamming AA’s head into all four corners. If Magnusson is implying a chain match is the future, doesn’t he realize those are feud killers? Name one decent chain match in the last 20 years. It always ends with both guys tagging three corners at the same time, and then the face getting either a smart or lucky chance at the fourth corner. Chain matches suck. What? There’s a match going on? Oh yeah. The ref finally gets Magnusson to let go of AA’s hair, and AA responds with his trusty Greco-Roman Thumb to the Eye. Someone ought to make that their finisher. AA takes a second to give a crotch chop to Firewoman, and she responds with one of her own, which for some reason freaks out AA. With Magnusson still blinded by the devastating Thumb to the Eye, AA chokes Magnusson on the top rope. AA releases the hold and Magnusson staggers back to the center of the ring. AA pursues him, but Magnusson catches him with a spinning elbow to the face that sends AA out of the ring to the floor. Magnusson pulls the ref aside to discuss the economy, which gives Firewoman a chance to give AA a lesson in Econ 101. No, I don’t know what that means, but AA’s lying on the floor when the ref turns around. The ref admonishes Firewoman, who claims she did nothing. Magnusson goes out of the ring and SUPLEXES AA on the concrete floor, then tosses him back in the ring. Magnusson pulls AA to a sitting position and tries to twist his head off, occasionally dropping punishing elbows down onto the top of AA’s skull. Magnusson pulls AA to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a big boot to the face. Magnusson bounds off the ropes and drops a big knee across AA’s chest, covers, pulls the tights, but only gets a two count. AA struggles to his feet and stumbles back into the corner and tries to call a time out, but Magnusson kicks him in the mouth. As Magnusson closes in again, AA catches him with a shot to the jewels that doubles him over in pain. AA, for some reason, climbs to the top rope and tries a cross body block, but Firewoman runs up on the apron to grab his foot. That sends AA off the top rope awkwardly, but he still hits the cross body. Magnusson, however, rolls through and is in the pinning position. The ref counts: 1, is AA holding Magnusson’s tights?, 2, 3! Magnusson pins AA! AA quickly lets go of Magnusson and grabs the ref for a discussion on health care in Zambia. The ref shakes his head in disbelief, then goes to the timekeeper, grabs the belt and disgustedly hands it to AA. WINNER IN 18:29...AND STILL CHAMPION DUE TO LACK OF CHEATING...ATTITUDE ADJUSTER! AA mocks Firewoman from the ring, pointing to his belt and his brain. But he’s not smart enough to notice a furious Magnusson behind him. At least until Magnusson drives a knee into AA’s back, sending him over the top rope and piled in a heap at Firewoman’s feet. Firewoman instantly starts the attack, and Magnusson joins in. Magnusson slings AA into the ring post, and AA pirouettes away from that and staggers up the entry ramp, falling numerous times along the way. Magnusson and Firewoman share the cheers in the middle of the ring. PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. IHOP – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match Kid Rock blares through the loudspeakers, as IHOP makes their way to the ring, ready to reclaim the tag titles. They mill about ringside as the song fades and “Born in the USA” fills the arena. Phantos and Lucios appear on the ramp, Championship Belts around their waists (Like all champions should). Phantos jumps and flips his way to the ring, Lucios taking deliberate steps. Phantos starts out against SYB. They trade chops for a moment, then SYB uses a drop toe hold to ground Phantos. He goes for a cross-face, but Phantos rolls through it and reaches the ropes. Phantos is up first and catches SYB with a clothesline. Tag in to Lucios, who bull rushes SYB, pinning him in the corner. A hip toss sends SYB to the mat. Leg drop. Irish Whip, Snap power slam for a 2 count. SYB crawls to his corner, but Lucios cuts him off, dragging him back behind enemy lines. Tag to Phantos, who scales the turnbuckles. Lucios whips SYB into the ropes, and Phantos springs off, catching SYB with a Flying Lariat. Cover nets a 2 count, as Skurge charges in and breaks the pin attempt up. Lucios comes in to even the score, and Creech backs him up. Skurge plants Phantos with a brain buster and slaps the air. He rolls SYB to the floor, where Dorothy Mantooth tries her best to revive SYB. Skurge goes on the offensive. Butterfly suplex. Backdrop. 3 deep arm drags. Over the knee back breaker. SYB appears on the apron, apparently conscious. Skurge holds Phantos up and tags in SYB. JERSEY TURNPIKE! Creech scolds SYB, but the match continues. Scoop Slam. Middle rope fist drop for a 2 count. Phantos crawls to his corner, and it’s SYB’s turn to drag someone back across the ring. SYB with a spinning toe hold. Elbow drop to the crotch. Tag into Skurge. They set up the INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT! IT connects and Skurge goes for the cover. 1…2... and Lucios breaks up the fall. SYB forearms Lucios in the back, and Lucios NO SELLS! Lucios grabs SYB by the neck and tosses him over the ropes and onto Miss Mantooth. Phantos clips Skurge from behind and locks in an Indian Deathlock. Lucios gets coaxed to the apron by our referee. Phantos pops up and tags Lucios in. Lucios hits Skurge with a Gordbuster and the locks in the DEATHGRIP (cobra clutch/camel clutch combo). Skurge fights off submission for what seems like 10 minutes, but eventually passes out. The referee checks the arm, and calls for the bell. WINNERS, Via (involuntary) Submission; in 12:56; PHANTOS AND LUCIOS! After the bell, Lucios refuses to release the grip. Phantos and the referee try to pull him off Skurge, but Lucios has him locked up and refuses top release him. The rest of Run-DEA had come to ringside to celebrate, now begin to pry Lucios off of his opponent. It takes the combined efforts of Moreland, Darling, Sane, Phantos and the entire refereeing crew to break Lucios grip. ALEXANDER DARLING vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match Moosehead Jack enters the arena and stalks to the ring, almost managing to hide the fact that he’s wincing. Jack slowly paces the ring as the Intercontinental Champion makes his entrance. Alexander Darling steps onto the stage as the drum beat of ”Prelude 12/21” hits. He waits until it finishes and a blue spotlight focuses on him and ”Princes of the Universe” starts to play. Alex makes his way to the ring very slowly, possibly due to his injuries, and possibly just to annoy Jack. Alex steps into the ring and hands the title to referee Mel Creech, who displays it briefly and calls for the bell. Alex and Jack meet in center ring and exchange words. Mel backs off, anticipating the explosion, and it comes as Ales and Jack LOCK UP?? They struggle for a moment and Alex snaps off a beautiful arm drag. Jack rolls to his feet and walks into another one. Alex tries for a dropkick, but Jack brushes it aside and grabs a headlock as Alex gets up. Alex shoots him off and drops under Moose’s first pass, trying a clothesline on the second. Jack ducks it and hooks Alex’s waist, hitting a German suplex. Creech, startled by the display of actual wrestling, is a step slow getting into position, and Alex kicks out at two. Both men get slowly to their feet, feeling the effects of trying to chain wrestle three days after their attempted manslaughter-fest at the PPV. They lock up again, and Jack drives a knee into Alex’s midsection, and follows with a DDT. He covers, but Alex kicks out at two. Jack pulls Alex to his feet and attempts a suplex, but Alex blocks and reverses. He drives a knee into Jack’s temple, then pulls him up and slings him to the ropes. Alex spears Jack as he comes back, sending both of them into the ropes and tumbling to the outside. Alex, having landed on top, is first to his feet. He gets in some savage kicks at Jack, then pulls him up and throws him into the ring post. Jack ducks a punch, and Alex hits the post. Jack attacks with punches and kicks as Alex cradles his injured hand, then sets up the Heart Punch, but Alex twists free. Alex darts over to the timekeeper’s table and grabs his title, but Mel is out to keep him from using it. As they argue, Moose approaches from behind as Alex turns, Moose SMASHES a glass bottle across his face! Alex falls to his knees in pain grabbing his face! Blood runs between his fingers. Moose grabs a piece of the bottle and slashes at Alex, but he manages to move back just enough, instead of putting his eye out, it leaves a jagged tear under his eye running across his face almost back to his ear. Alex falls to the floor writing in pain. Finally the referee steps in and admonishes Moose. Moose shoves him aside and goes after Alex again, but Alex senses him coming and drops down, sweeping Jack’s legs. Jack tumbles forward into Mel, driving him into the ring apron. Moose disentangles himself and gets up, only to be blindsided with the belt. Alex shoves Jack under the ropes and follows him into the ring. He hits the ropes as Jack gets up, and levels him with a shot to the face with the belt. Alex tosses the belt out of the ring as Mel crawls back in. He picks Jack up and plants him with the Darling Driver. He covers, and Mel drags himself over to count One…Two…Three. WINNER, and still Intercontinental Champion, in 11:43, Alexander Darling. After the match: Alex grabs his title and leaves the ring. Holding his face as blood pours out of the nasty gash on his face. He backs up the aisle holding the belt high as Jack sits up and glares daggers at him, then sees the cut on Darling’s face and grins. LD WILLIAMS vs. OUTBACK JACK – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match “Thunderstruck” starts to blast through the sound system, and all the soldiers get to their feel, welcoming the fan favorite, Outback Jack. He kills his Foster’s and makes his way into the ring, nodding at Sterling Glaw before making his way into the corner. “Jekyll and Hyde” fires up, and the World Champ makes his way down to the ring to a surprisingly mixed reaction. He even gets a little pop when he holds his belt up. He hands it to Glaw, and raises it high into the air. This match will be for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Glaw hands the belt to the timekeeper. He calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! Lockup to start, and the bigger OBJ gets the advantage, shoving the Champ into the corner. Glaw calls for a clean break, and gets it; but LD Williams fires out of the corner with lefts and rights, rocking OBJ back into the corner. Chops from LD. Snap-Mare takeover from LD, followed up by a Standing Double-Axe Handle. Quick cover is good for one. Both men are back to their feet, and engage in some decent chain wrestling, Armbar for LD, reversed to a hammerlock for OBJ, reversed to a hammerlock for LD. OBJ slaps his shoulder twice (obviously) and is able to reverse to an Arm bar, then a hammerlock, and then gets LD up, hitting a Hammerlock Belly-to-Back Suplex. The cover gets a weak two. LD tries to get up, but OBJ just assaults him with some highly-technical stomping. He pulls LD up, and looks to pay tribute to his former tag team partner, and goes for the CHOMP, but LD counters and hits a nice Samoan Drop. OBJ recovers quickly, and the two men lock up again. This time, LD lets himself be shoved across the ring, and right before they go to the turnbuckle, LD hits his knees, and OBJ face plants into the turnbuckle. LD goes with some Greco-Roman face smashes to the turnbuckle, and a couple of shoulders into OBJ’s spine, and a sweet RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX which sends OBJ all the way to the middle of the ring. The cover gets 2. LD pulls OBJ up to his feet, and KICK-WHAM, he’s looking for the ROBERTS DDT! But LD takes a second too long, and OBJ is able to counter into a sweet SPINEBUSTER. Both men take a bit to get to their feet, prompting a count from Glaw. OBJ is up first at 3, and stalks LD. When LD finally gets upright, OBJ flies across the ring looking for the BOOMERANG, but LD is able to counter with a SPINEBUSTER of his own. LD does a throat-slash, signaling the end, but in completing his follow through of the motion, he clips Sterling Glaw, probably standing to close to the action, in the side of the head. LD pulls OBJ up and KICK-WHAM-ROBERTS DDT! But, before LD covers, the bell sounds? WINNER by DISQUALIFICATION in 9:16…OUTBACK JACK! LD hears the official decision over the PA and starts to go BATSHIT on Glaw, who simply makes some gestures leading one to believe LD punched Glaw’s head completely off, and it’s still there only due to duct tape or something. LD is VERY close to actually punching Glaw, and making it worth the DQ, but thinks better of it, grabs his belt, and head up the ramp, swearing. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Judgment Eve III, Live August 30 from Qeqetarsauq, Greenland! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! August 6th, from Casablanca, Morocco! For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts Join us for OOWF [urhttp://natecorbitt.proboards81.com/index.cgi?action=chat]Chat[/url] on Wednesday nights![/b]
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Jack Quinn Jul 30, 2008 19:00:20 GMT -5 |
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*Fade in*
*With white contact lenses, Eric O'Mac is standing next to SFJ#15.* SFJ#15: Eric, you've got a match tonight with Spin Hanson. What are your thoughts? Eric: Simply put, look at the damage I did to Knife and Mark Vander. The board of directors may have forced our two sides to cease fire backstage, but I can destroy lives in the ring. Mark Vander? Done. Knife? Done. And while Spin Hanson may be a bit higher on the totum pole, he's the enemy, and he will be taken out. *Eric leaves SFJ#15 standing there as we fade out.*
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Eric O'Mac Jul 30, 2008 18:42:52 GMT -5 |
