[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to the ring in the [REDACTED ARENA], where we find Dean Ambrose...Dean Ambrosing...





...when Razor Ramon's music hits, and Razor Ramon (naturally) makes his way to the ring and grabs a mic...

RR: Hey, yo.



RR: I said, "Hey, yo."

*Ambrose finally stops and faces Razor. He also suddenly has a mic somehow...

DA: You rang?

RR: Man, what are you doing?

DA: Dunno. Bein weird and stuff, I guess.

RR: Well stop it. You're freaking me out.

DA: Is this better?



RR: Not really, no.

DA: You out here just to police my behavior, or did you want something?

RR: Oh, I want something. You and me, see, we're the big dogs around here.

DA: I dunno, man. have you seen Davey Boy? Dude's massive.

RR: No, man, I mean you and me call the shots. There's no GM. There's no Authority. It's just you and me.

DA: Wow, I don't know about that. I've got the whole modified "Anarchy" symbol thing going on. A leadership role might mess with that image.

RR: You can book yourself in the World Title match at the pay-per-view.

DA: I'm in. Where do I sign?

RR: You don't. You just call your shot.

DA: Awesome. But why involve me? Why not just do this on your own?

RR: Two heads are better than one. We get each other's backs. You and me against the world, man. No one can stop us.

DA: Makes sense. Okay, so I'm in. It's you and me.

RR: Excellent.

DA: Against each other.

RR: Wait, what? No, I said--

DA: For the PWW World Heavyweight Championship.

RR: No, come on. I wanted--

DA: In a Three Stages of Hell Match.

RR: No way, man. I am not agreeing to that!

DA: Hey, yo. You said I could book the title match. It's booked. Toothpick flick.

RR: What?

DA: "Toothpick flick." It's your signature walkoff insult.

RR: Yeah, but you have to actually do it. You can't just say "toothpick flick."

DA: But I don't have a toothpick.

RR: You are so weird.

*Ambrose's music starts up as he rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp. FADE*

[Road Warrior Shark]

"Toothpick Flick" is hilarious.

Love it

[Chris Eco]

Shit, now I want to draft Ambrose next time. Great opener.

[Mr. Dashbee]

Love it.

[The Canadian Content]

Thanks guys.

[L!zz~]

So good.

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to the backstage area in the [REDACTED ARENA], where we find Bo Dallas approaching Scott Hall...

BD: I BO-LIEVE you asked to see me?

SH: Nope.

BD: Are you sure? I BO-LIEVE that's what I heard.

SH: You heard wrong.

BD: Well, since I'm here anyway, I BO-LIEVE you may be interested in this proposition: Bo Dallas versus Christian for the Intercontinental Title at the pay-per-view.

SH: You know what? I like it. Done deal. Bo Dallas versus Christian.

*Just then, Dean Ambrose sticks his head into the frame...

DA: In a Three Stages of Hell match!

*And Ambrose ducks back out...

BD: I don't BO-LIEVE this shit.

*FADE*

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to the ring in the [REDACTED ARENA], where we find Ron Simmons, accompanied by some of his associates, about to address the crowd...

RS: Before we begin, let's get one thing out of the way: Ron Simmons is not a four-letter catchphrase. I will not be put into "comical" situations for the purpose of spitting out a one-liner. That's not why I'm here.

RS: I'm sure by now you've noticed the men in the ring with me, and I'm sure you've noticed we all have something in common. Let me introduce them to you, then we'll get to why I am here.

RS: Starting on my right with my right-hand man. For the purposes of our endeavor, he'll be once again taking up the mantle of The Reverend D-Von Dudley.

RDD: Testify!

RS: On my left, a man of action rather than words, Bobby Lashley.

*Lashley stares silently and intensely into the camera...

RS: Also joining us tonight, my partner in crime and in the ring, the other half of Doom, Butch Reed! And joining brother Butch, a man with so many personalities, you never know which one's going to fuck you up: Kama, the Supreme Fighting Machine!

RS: Now, on to why we're here. We've noticed who's calling the shots around here, and we've noticed who's in the high-profile matches. And that thing I was talking about earlier that we all have in common? They don't have it. It's talent. Pure and simple. And we will show the world that the New Nation is ready to take ov--

*Just then, Simmons is interrupted by [REDACTED]'s theme music, and none other than Akeem, the African Dream, struts out from the backstage area and makes his way to the ring, grabbing a mic as he enters...

A: What it is, my bruthaaas?

Everyone else: *Stunned silence*

A: Y'know, I look at the talent assembled in this ring, and I can't help but feel like my invitation to the Nation got lost in the mail, dig?

Everyone else: *More silence*

A: What I mean is I'm picking up what you're putting down, brutha. Ya feel me? I want in.

Everyone else: *Brooding silence bordering on rage*

A: I see you're too impressed by my offer to speak, so I'll leave you to ponder on it. I'll be back home in deepest, darkest Africa waiting to hear from you.

*Akeem leaves the ring seconds before the New Nation go from "stunned" to "kill." As he makes his way backstage, the camera zooms in on Simmons...

RS: DAMN!

*FADE*

[Sportsguy]

Laughing my ass off here Hodgey, damn good suff

[L!zz~]

So easy to visualize. Great work. Hysterical.

[Eric O'Mac]

Beautiful. Great work.

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to the backstage area of the [REDACTED ARENA], where Ron Simmons is entering the office shared by Dean Ambrose and Scott Hall. Ambrose appears to be out, so Simmons addresses Hall...

RS: Scott, I'm here for two reasons.

SH: I saw your promo. One reason is to take over. What's the other one?

RS: No, not that. I mean I'm here right now in your office for two reasons. Different reasons.

SH: Okay, shoot.

RS: You've only got two matches booked for the pay-per-view so far.

SH: Right. Me versus Ambrose and Christian versus Bo Dallas, both in Three Stages of Hell matches.

RS: And I want a tag title match. Doom versus the British Bulldogs.

SH: Sounds like a great match to me. Consider it d--

*Dean Ambrose casually strides into the office and looks from Simmons to Hall to Simmons to Hall...

DA: A Tag Team Three Stages of Hell Match!

SH: Dean, you have to stop. This is overkill. I'm not putting Doom and the Bulldogs in a Three Stages of Hell Match.

DA: That's cool. I already booked The Bulldogs and Hardy Boyz in a Three Stages of Hell Match for the Tag Team Titles at the pay-per-view.

RS: DAMN!

SH: You're now the number one contenders, Ron. You'll get the winners.

DA: Hey, good idea, Scott. Speaking of, I was thinking the pay-per-view really needs a name. It's got to be tough on whoever has to transcribe this stuff to keep typing "pay-per-view." So, how about PWW presents: THREE STAGES OF HELL!

SH: If you promise not to make any more Three Stages of Hell Matches, I'm fine with that.

DA: Deal. Bye.

*Ambrose walks out, leaving Simmons and Hall to resume their conversation...

SH: Sooo, the other thing?

RS: What?

SH: You had two reasons for being here. One didn't work out so great. What's the other?

RS: Oh yeah. Akeem.

SH: Nothing I can do about it unless you want to file a formal complaint with H.R.

RS: No, no. I want to let him join the New Nation.

SH: Really?

RS: Really. If he can win his initiation match.

SH: Against?

RS: The New Nation.

SH: Ouch. Seems harsh but fair. Consider it...

*Hall glances over at the door to make sure Ambrose isn't around...

SH: ...done.

*FADE*

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to the ring at the [REDACTED ARENA], where we find Dean Ambrose and Scott Hall, both wielding microphones, along with Three Stages of Hell match participants the British Bulldogs, the Hardy Boys, Christian, and Bo Dallas...

DA: As you all know, every man in this ring will be involved in a Three Stages of Hell match at the upcoming Three Stages of Hell pay-per-view. The reason I've called you all here tonight is to announce the stipulations for those matches. Christian. Bo. Let's start with your Intercontinental Title match.

C: Let's.

DA: Heh. Nice. The first fall in your match will be decided by...Submission!

*The crowd cheers...

DA: The second fall in your match will be...First Blood!

*The crowd cheers again...

DA: And your third fall will be...Hell in a Cell!

*The crowd pops huge. Christian looks smug. Bo looks worried.

DA: MOVING ON...to the Tag Team Title match. Your stipulations will be...decided by Scott Hall!

SH: Oh shit. Really? I didn't know I was supposed to book this. I've got nothing off the top of my head.

*Hall looks toward the tag teams...

SH: You guys got any ideas?

*The Hardy Boyz both immediately grab Hall's mic...

HB: Tables! Ladders! Chairs!

*The crowd erupts again...

SH: I like it. So that's two booked. Who calls our stips, Dean?

DA: I do. You said I could book this match. Come on, man. Scroll up.

SH: Fine. What are the stips?

DA: First fall: straight-up pinfall. I want to see what we can do. But here's the kicker. The winner of the first fall has a decision to make for the second fall. It's a Handicap Match. The winner of the first fall can pick any member of the PWW roster to be his partner for fall two.

*The crowd vocally supports this idea...

DA: And once that's out of the way, the third fall is Last Man Standing.

*Before Hall (or anyone else) can react, Ambrose pokes Bo Dallas in the eye and rolls out of the ring. Dallas swings at Ambrose but hits Dynamite Kid, who pushes Dallas into Hall, who winds up hitting Jeff Hardy, and now it's a full-on brawl in the ring. As he's heading up the entrance ramp, Ambrose looks into the camera and says, "We all knew how this was going to end." *FADE*

[L!zz~]

Mmmm Christian
.......got my vote....

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to the backstage area in the SkyDome...right here...in Toronto, Ontario, Canada (cheap pop), where we find Scott Hall patiently waiting for this intro to end so he can address the camera...

SH: Hey, yo.

*Dean Ambrose steps into the shot...

DA: Scott, you're only supposed to say "Hey, yo" if you're introduced as Razor Ramon. You know better.

*And Ambrose is gone now...

SH: You know? I'm getting pretty sick of that guy. Anyway, since Dean decided to book most of the main event matches, I'm here to fill out the rest of the Three Stages of Hell card for you.

SH: We're kicking things off with "Cowboy" Bob Orton facing "The Rock" Don Muraco. Or maybe "Magnificent" Don Muraco. The marketing guys haven't told me which way he's going with that.

SH: Also, La Resistance will be taking on King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd.

SH: We've also got a six-man Cruiserweight match. First pinfall or submission wins it. The five men are Blitzkrieg, Yoshi Tatsu, Daivari, Kaz Hayashi, Spike Dudley, and Crash Holly.

SH: Next up, The Ascension versus Power and Glory.

SH: In a Number One Contender's Match for the Intercontinental Title, Jimmy Yang versus Paul Burchill. Personally, I'm hoping this is Cowboy versus Pirate, but again, the marketing folks don't tell me shit.

SH: And finally, in what should be a pretty nasty fight: Bam Bam Bigelow faces Rhyno.

SH: All that plus the matches we've already announced. I'm sure marketing's working on some graphics for you. They should be up shortly. That's it from The Bad Guy.

DA: Dude.

SH: Fine. I'm Scott Hall. Goodbye. *toothpick flick as Ambrose shakes his head and we FADE*

[The Canadian Content]

PWW Presents: Three Stages of Hell

Live from SkyDome in Toronto


PWW Heavyweight Championship
Dean Ambrose vs Scott Hall

vs

Three Stages of Hell:
Fall 1: Standard Rules
Fall 2: Handicap Match (winner of Fall 1 gets a partner of his choosing from the PWW roster)
Fall 3: Last Man Standing


PWW Intercontinental Championship
Christian vs Bo Dallas

vs

Three Stages of Hell:
Fall 1: Submission
Fall 2: First Blood
Fall 3: Hell in a Cell


PWW Tag Team Titles
The British Bulldogs vs The Hardy Boyz

vs

Three Stages of Hell:
Fall 1: Tables
Fall 2: Ladders
Fall 3: Chairs


Bam Bam Bigelow vs Rhyno (w/Mr. Fuji)

vs


Doom vs Demolition (w/Mr. Fuji)

vs


Paul Burchill vs Jimmy Yang

vs


The Ascension vs Power & Glory

vs


Yoshi Tatsu vs Daivari vs Crash Holly vs Blitzkrieg vs Spike Dudley vs Kaz Hayashi (w/Mr. Fuji)

vs vs vs vs vs


La Resistance vs Big John Studd & King Kong Bundy

vs


Initiation Match
Akeem vs The New Nation (Reverend D-Von, Bobby Lashley, & Kama)

vs


Cowboy Bob Orton vs Don Muraco (w/Mr. Fuji)

vs


PWW Announcers
Chris Nowinski & Alex Riley

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Whatis Initialtion Match?

[The Canadian Content]

...I have no idea what you're talking about.

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to the ring in Toronto's SkyDome (cheap pop) immediately post-pay-per-view, where we find a battered and bloodied Dean Ambrose STAGGERING~! around, barely able to stay on his feet. He grabs a mic...

DA: Well, damn. Scott, you beat me. Hell, you beat the shit out of me. And you outfoxed me. That's nice work. For those of you just tuning in, what the hell? Where have you been? We did, like, a full show and everything. Catch the replay on The Network. Just $9.99 a month.

DA: What else can I say? I chose the match. I chose the stipulations. I won the first fall and chose my partner for the handicap match. I guess that's where I went wrong. Rhyno, what did I ever do to you, man? I mean, I gave you a place in the main event tonight. I put the spotlight right on you. And what do you do? You Gore me into next week the first chance you get. And it gets foggy after that. I know Hall hit at least three Razor's Edges, and I'm pretty sure there were a couple more Gores thrown in for good measure. Man, that third fall was a no contest. How can I even compete in a Last Man Standing match when I can't stand up to begin with?

DA: But you roll the dice and you take your chances in this business. I knew what I was getting into. Rhyno, I'm not so sure you did. I respect you taking a stand and making a point, but you made a mistake tonight. You went and pissed me off. And now you're gonna have to face me one on one.

*Rhyno's music hits, and he runs to the ring. He and Ambrose punch each other for a bit, and Ambrose eventually gets the upper hand and tosses Rhyno into the corner. As Ambrose takes a run at him, Rhyno explodes out of the corner and hits a massive Gore. He stands smirking over the now-unconscious Ambrose as we *FADE*

[L!zz~]

Gore! Gore! Gore!
Well.done. I'd pay to see that match

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to the backstage area at Toronto's SkyDome (cheap pop), where we find PWW announcer and/or backstage interviewer Alex Riley INTERVIEWING~! Akeem The African Dream and The Ugandan Giant Kamala...

AR: Kamala, you interrupted Akeem's New Nation Initiation match at Three Stages of Hell to make the save and fight off Reverend D-Von, Bobby Lashley, and Kama, The Supreme Fighting Machine. Why did you do it?

KtUG: AAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOGHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

AR: ...?

AtAD: What my man Kamala here is saying is that he and I, we share a special bond, dig? You see, I thought I had something in common with the New Nation, but I had it all wrong. As Ron Simmons said last week, they all have something in common. Well so do the Ugandan Giant and Akeem.

AR: I honestly have no idea where you're going with this.

AtAD: It's not where I'm going, Alex Riley. It's where I'm from. It's where Kamala's from. You see, Ron Simmons may be trying to create a New Nation, but to do that, he has to go through some ancient heritage. He has to go through Deepest, Darkest Africa.

*Kamala and Akeem walk away, leaving Riley dumbfounded. *FADE*

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to an office in the Spectrum in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (cheap pop), where we find Dean Ambrose TALKING~! to Scott Hall...

DA: Nice title defense at Impending Doom, Scott.

SH: Thanks, Dean. Lashley brought the fight. It was a helluva deal.

DA: Totally. Rhyno brought it too. Actually, everyone did. That was a great show.

SH: It really was. I hope anyone who missed it checks it out on The Network.

DA: Only $9.99. And speaking of which, have we decided how we're booking the next show?

SH: I've got some ideas. Bigelow wants a shot at my Heavyweight belt. I hope you didn't want back in on that.

DA: Not yet. Me and Christian have a thing planned for the IC belt.

SH: Nice. And the Bulldogs won the number one contenders battle royal, so they get Doom.

DA: Right, yeah. Anything else?

SH: Well, I was think--

DA: Anything at all?

SH: I've got--

DA: Cause if you're out, I've got--

SH: Fine. What?

DA: Demolition versus The Ascension.

SH: Because facepaint?

DA: Well, yeah.

SH: Fine. Book it. Bo Dallas and Paul Burchill have been butting heads backstage. I'm going to let them settle that in the ring. And that's all I've got for now. If you hav--

DA: Random Tag Team Frenzy!

*Hall is shaking his head as we *FADE*