[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#877)
Live! From Trenton, New Jersey
September 5, 2018

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
Stank vs. Kylie Mignolio

Shizuru, Shannon Mann & Mai Muyo vs. Ghosthead, Ecosystem & Firewoman
Bridget O'Malley vs. Zed
Beer Money vs. The Darlings
Banned From Everywhere vs. The Saints of Sinners
Mac Flasher vs. Moosehead Jack vs. Jack Bullet


Card subject to New Jersey ruining everything because it's New Jersey

[Leo]

“Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet, Man of Action, sits on a bench in the locker room. He towels off his hair from the shower. As he removes the towel he sees Kylie Mignolio standing in front of him. She leans on the door frame to the locker room with a hand on her hip.

KM: And were you ever going to come tell me about what was going on.

JB: Time and again you’ve said you’re a big girl who can take of herself and that I don’t owe you anything.

KM: You don’t owe me a thing, but you do owe Josie a lot. Instead of going to see her and telling her you need to go away for a time, you announce it on television and use her as a promo point.

JB: I don’t have talking points. I have action points.

KM: Bullshit!

Bullet stands and moves toward Mignolio, who straightens up as Jack approaches.

JB: Now, now little lady, let’s watch the language.

KM: You don’t get to play the gentleman patriot anymore, Jack Bullet. You’re a lot less John Wayne and more Clint Eastwood. Maybe you’re still on the side of right, but you don’t care who you hurt or how you do it anymore. Know one thing, you hurt that little girl more than any hooligan fan with a “Cane Josie” sign who thinks he’s some clever smark.

JB: I’m going away for her best interest. I don’t want anyone thinking they can get at her by getting to me. I want her safe and that means me not being around her or you anymore. At least right now.

KM: You don’t get to choose when and where we can be a family, Jack. It was a weird dynamic, but it was working. I know you lost your real family because of your ex-wife, but you lost this family because of you. Nobody but you is to blame here.
Bullet lowers his head and he purses his lips. He raises his head again slowly.

JB: I know that, but it’s the way it has to be. Sometimes when you love someone you set them free.

KM: What’s the other part of that, if they return, you set them on fire? If you think I’m mad because you hurt Josie, you haven’t seen anything yet.

Mignolio turns and walks down the hallway.

JB: What does that mean?

Mignolio stops and makes a quarter turn back to Bullet.

KM: You might have been Uncle Jack to Josie, but she still has Auntie Firewoman.

Mignolio turns back around and walks away as we fade.

[snelson66]

FADE in backstage after Maple Leaf Massacre 3. Coming out of the Destroyitarium are OOWF World Tag Team Champions Matt Folz and The Crusher Stan Fulton. Microphones on the ninja-cams pick up what they’re saying.

MF: “Look, I’m sorry.”

SF: “Just because I said the Packers are going to be crap because all their money is tied up in Aaron Rodgers, you hit me with a chair?!”

MF: “That’s not what happened.”

SF: “So you didn’t hit me with a chair.”

MF: “Well, yes.”

Jamie Folz comes out from another door. She doesn’t look pleased.

JF: “Matthew Folz.”

SF: “If the writer of this promo knew your middle name, I’m guessing Jamie would have used it right there.”

Kayfabe walks out behind Jamie and... well, frankly she’s done all she can here and Fulton is never going to quit breaking kayfabe (the concept, not the person) so she walks over and gives him a big hug. Fulton smiles.

SF: “Always knew you liked me, Kay.”

She nods.

SF: “So, did you want to grab dinner next week?”

She nods again and walks away.

MF: “You're dating Kayfabe?"

SF: "No. I owe her dinner from a bet we made a while back. She bet me dinner that I couldn't stop breaking kayfabe for a month."

MF: "So how are you going to meet her? You don’t have her number do you?”

SF: “No. I’ll just mention non-shoot stuff and she’ll be there.”

JF: “Genius.”

Matt rolls his eyes.

MF: “Anyway...”

JF: “Yeah. How could you hit Stan like that?”

MF: “It was an accident!”

SF: “Matt. Every single time someone holds a person up so they can be hit in the head by someone else wielding a chair, they get hit instead. It’s Wrestling 101. You knew that.”

MF: “Well... uh... why did you hold him up then?”

SF: “You could have gut-shotted Alex. Those work.”

JF: “He’s right you know.”

MF: (to Jamie) “Why are you taking his side?!”

JF: “Because he’s right.”

MF: “Dammit.”

SF: “Listen. I’m sorry that I made the crack about your team. I’m sure they’ll have plenty of money to stock the defense with seventh-round picks.”

MF: “Funny stuff. What about your QB’s money?”

SF: “They already have a good defense. And running back. And wide receivers.”

MF: “The O-line sucks.”

SF: “Yours isn’t much better.”

MF: “Dammit.”

JF: “Can we not talk about football every time you two have a promo?”

Folz and Fulton think a minute.

SF/MF: “No.”

JF: “Dammit.”

Folz and Fulton smile.

JF: “So Stan. Did you gain weight recently?”

SF: “Uh. No. That’s a ... not nice thing to say.”

JF: “Oh! I didn’t mean it that way.”

MF: “Nice one, dear. Maybe you can make fun of his beard or something.”

SF: “What’s wrong with my beard?”

JF: “I meant you were announced last night as 461 pounds.”

MF: “Someone just looked at the wrong archive entry. Or guessed.”

SF: “Yeah. I get that a lot. I’m not that important of a character for the writers to get the facts right. It’s okay. I’m not from ‘Iron Mountain, Minnesota’ either. There is no such city. There’s a Mountain Iron, MN and an Iron Mountain, Michigan.”

JF: “Right. You’re from Duluth anyway.”

SF: “Yeah. The opposite of Dylan. I was born on the Iron Range, moved to Duluth.”

An uncomfortable silence passes.

JF: “Did you see that?”

MF: “You mean the uncomfortable silence? Yes, I thought that was odd.”

An uncomfortable silence passes.

SF: “There it is again!”

MF: “We really should talk about something.”

SF: “What about you hitting me in the head with a chair?”

MF: “We already talked about that.”

SF: “Really? I don’t remember that.”

JF: “Matt, maybe you should take Stan to Medical.”

SF: “Matt who?”

MF: “Matt who’s going to hit you with another chair.”

SF: “That’s a weird last name.”

JF/MF: “KNOCK IT OFF, STAN!!!”

Fulton smiles.

SF: “Had you going for a minute.”

JF: “Not that long.”

SF: “Boy, if I had a nickel every time you said that to Matt.”

Jamie giggles as Matt scowls.

MF: “That’s not funny.”

SF: “That’s what she said.”

Jamie lets out a laugh which she tries to hold back.

MF: “You’re a child.”

SF: “Mentally? Probably true.”

JF: “If you two children are ready, can we go?”

SF: “Not quite. I’m waiting for Mai. She said she’d join us for dinner.”

JF: “Are you two...?”

SF: “Let’s say I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea, but I’m not going to push the subject. There’s perhaps been too much history there for it. Right now, she’s a good friend. A friend that doesn’t hit me with chairs.”

MF: “Will you please let that go?”

SF: “That’s what she said.”

Folz, with his luggage, takes a swing at Fulton, who ducks out of the way.

SF: “See! There’s a pattern of you trying to hit me with stuff.”

Fulton tries to look serious and upset, but he can’t pull it off and starts to laugh. This causes all three to laugh as well.

MF: “Can we move past that?”

JF: “Not without Stan hitting his head on it.”

MF: “Jamie.”

JF: “What?”

Fulton laughs some more.

SF: “So did you see the card for next week?”

JF: “I did. You face Justin and Bill.”

SF: “Awww. I like those guys.”

MF: “Me too.”

JF: “I’ll talk to Ellie May. Maybe we can work out a nice clean match. Show the world that you’re wrestlers too, not just brawlers.”

MF: “Everyone knows I’m a wrestler. Stan’s the brawler.”

SF: “I gotta be me.”

MF: “Because no one else wants the job.”

SF: “Ouch. Damn that's cold.”

MF: “Sorry.”

SF: “No you're not.”

MF: “Changing the subject, have you noticed we’ve talked about the match tonight, and a host of other things, but we haven’t mentioned the Darlings up to now?”

SF: “You know, Matt. I noticed that too. Why do you think that is?”

MF: “Perhaps, Stan, because they lost and they’re not relevant anymore.”

SF: “You know, I think you’re right, ol’ chap.”

JF: “Geez. Maybe Mai and I will go dine by ourselves.”

MF: “What?!”

FADE

[Leo]

“Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet, Man of Action, walks into the Destroyitarium and stands just inside the doorway. A record scratches loud, all heads turn to him, then turn away.

Stan Fulton: Hey, that’s my vintage 45 of “Chick-A-Boom” by Daddy Dewdrop. Watch your fat ass around the record player, Matt.

Matt Folz and his wife, Jamie, stop doing the rumba.

MF: Sorry, Stan, I just can’t control myself when I get dancing.

They then randomly start talking about the Green Bay Packers for no discernible reason.

Bullet strolls across the floor, now ignored, because, you know, the Packers. Moosehead Jack sits at a table in a nearly dark corner. A bottle of Trust Me is by his left elbow. In his right hand he holds a cigar that looks like a small eggplant. Bullet sits a bottle of brown liquid on the table with a thump, followed by a silver cigar tube. Moosehead motions with his head for Bullet to take a seat. He’s not going to ask him to sit, because Moosehead doesn’t ask anybody anything.

JB: This is a bottle of Bullet Brand Bourbon. It’s also good for stripping furniture.
Moosehead Jack doesn’t look at the bottle, but grabs it and throws it over his shoulder. A crash is heard somewhere off in the distance.

MJ: I’ll pass.

JB: This is a Kinkycristo cigar from my friend Kinky Friedman. I met him while barnstorming through Texas with Terry Funk.

Moosehead Jack unscrews the cap at the bottom of the tube and takes a whiff. He nods his head approvingly.

MJ: This can stay…Are these gifts thanking me for your return from suspension.

JB: I’m nothing if not grateful, but I didn’t want to be rude when I said I wasn’t beholding to you or the Saints for anything else in your little war.

MJ: I never expected you to be. We’ve been going around in circles and we’re right back to where we started at the beginning of the summer. I’m on one side. Mac Flasher is on the other and you’re right there in the middle.

JB: I would take it without him saying it, this is Danny Taylor’s little test for me to earn the title shot at Hell on Earth.
Moosehead chuckles ever so slightly.

MJ: Well, Danny wouldn’t say it anyway. But, yeah, this might be your chance to show you can run with the big boys. What I said last week about not needing a title like Mac does is true. I wouldn’t invoke a cliched rematch clause if I had one. If you want to face him at Hell on Earth, I won’t stand in your way. But keep in mind, you’re one in the same. Two dogs fighting over a bone that doesn’t mean anything.

JB: There’s a big difference. Mac might be in denial of his title addiction. I’m not.
Bullet slaps two fingers on his inside bicep like a junkie preparing a vein for a fix.

JB: The Intercontinental Title and Onslaught Title just wasn’t enough to get me through. I need that big score. I need that world title. I deserve to be on top, because I’m the only one around here who just doesn’t sit on his hands and talks about what a badass he is. I show it.

MJ: Let me guess, that’s not a talking point, it’s an action point.

JB: I’m glad to see that’s getting over.

MJ: You might find this surprising Jack, but I’ve always kind of liked you and you know why.

JB: Because I got you the number to Bam Bam Bigelow’s tattoo artist.

MJ: Because, for being an ‘I love the fans-God bless America-flag waving-light peening off his teeth-high fiving son of a gun’ you’re also about the biggest douchebag I’ve ever seen come into the OOWF. Game can respect game. You name a coat rack after Nick Fleming. You sign autographs for Christian Carter like’s he’s some little kid dying of cancer. Classic dickery. Deep in your soul, you’re rotten.

JB: Let’s just say I’m trying to stand up for myself more than I did before. It’s time to look out for number one. But when I take that world title from Mac Flasher, it just won’t be for me. It will be for all the fans out there.

MJ: And Josie.

JB: Maybe.

MJ: Well, if Kylie does send my sister after you for hurting a little girl and making her cry I’ll be sure to light a candle for your soul. I think we still have some prayer candles around here from that bit we did with Shizuru.

JB: That turned out just lovely didn’t it.

MJ: Hey, everybody has an inner asshole. You just have to figure out how to wake it. I don’t think you have that problem.

Bullet stands up from the table.

JB: Enjoy the cigar. See you next Wednesday.

Bullet turns and exits the Destroyitarium as we fade.

[Jack Quinn]

<Danny and Vic are sitting in their office going over some official paperwork when the door to their office is kicked open. The Saints walk in>

Vic: I'm sorry, do you have an appointment?

MHJ: <smirking> this says we don't NEED an appointment

<Moose steps aside and Matt and Stan toss a bloody and barely conscious Ecosystem into the room, he falls across Danny's desk, then slides to the floor where he lands with a sickening thud>

Vic: Fire won't be happy about this

MHJ: <leaning on the desk and staring right into Danny's eyes> I don't give a fuck.

Vic: <quickly calling medical> what do you want?

MHJ: I want this ridiculous no-contact thing lifted with Eco, I'm tired of waiting

Vic: So, you beat him damn near to death, then expect us to lift the ban?

MHJ: Who says I did it? Eco has a LOT of enemies

Vic: You don't get to come in here an.....

<Before Vic can finish Moose grabs him by the shirt and pins him against the wall with his forearm against his throat, Danny jumps to his feet and the rest of the Saints quickly stop him>

MHJ: That's right, sit the fuck down Danny. Now, since you've been GM of this place, we've pretty well kept out of your fucking business, and you ours. But that changes today. I am tired of waiting on Eco to grow a pair of balls and stop running from me. I am tired of my sister being a BITCH and not honoring her word. I want that no-contact thing eliminated, and if you don't, I promise you this, the Saints will destroy every match on every card until we get what we want. Since I know you can't fucking answer, Danny, just blink once for yes

<Danny just glares at Moose, Moose laughs and throws Vic hard into the file cabinet>

MHJ: Guess the cat's got your tongue

<Medical arrives and the Saints take a few kicks at Eco before they leave and we fade to black>

[Jack Quinn]

<cut to a PHWF house show in Wildwood New Jersey (PHWF is now being run under Jake Walker Productions) and we see Johnny Icepick and Mossi Oxlade in the ring after introductions. The referee is about to call for the bell when "Laser Cannon Deth Sentence" plays and the Saints of Sinners, Moose, Stank, Stan and Matt make their way to the ring. Stan and Matt make quick work of Oxlade, Stank DESTROYS Icepick and throws him out of the ring, and Moose has a mic>

MHJ: Perhaps you didn't hear me when I said the Saints would destroy every card until we got what we wanted. Now, I know you fucking morons in the crowd don't know the difference between the OOWF and PHWF, but since this all falls under one umbrella, we are ruining this too.

<the crowd boos this loudly, the Saints don't care and remain defiant in the middle of the ring. Some of the PHWF workers come down the ramp and begin arguing with the Saints>

MHJ: Hey, come on into the ring if you have the balls......

<a few of them do, and they are quickly beaten down and thrown out of the ring, the crowd is not happy and starts to litter the ring with debris>

MHJ: I TOLD you, we're not fucking going ANYWHERE until we get what we want. Now, you can send your roster down here one by one and we will leave them all lying on the ground in a pool of blood, or whoever the fuck is in charge of this show can get Danny and Vic on the phone, and GIVE US WHAT WE WANT

<the crowd starts a FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! chant and continue to litter the ring with garbage. Finally a man in a suit and glasses makes his way to the ring, for those familiar with OOWF history, it's Niles Anderson, an old enemy (who isn't?) of Moose. Moose looks amused as Niles steps into the ring>

MHJ: Well, well, well......Niles Anderson. Where the FUCK did they find you?

Niles: <looking at the Saints> Moose, Matt, Stan, Stank........look, I'm not out here for any trouble, I haven't wrestled in over ten years, I'm not out here for a fight, but guys, I have a show to put on, what's it gonna take to get you to leave?

MHJ: I told you what it would take. We're not leaving until you get Danny or Vic on the phone, and I get what I want.

Niles: Jack......

MHJ: guys..

<Stan blindsides Niles with an elbow to the back of the head while Stank lifts Niles and hits a STANK-U! They pull Niles to his feet and hold him up. Jack gets right in his face>

MHJ: I fucking TOLD you what to do. Niles.......<shaking his head> you were my bitch when we wrestled, and you're my bitch now. <Moose turns and looks to the back> Ok then, whoever the NEXT fucking person in charge is, GET VIC AND DANNY ON THE PHONE AND GET US WHAT WE WANT OR THIS CARD DOESN'T FUCKING CONTINUE

<the crowd is close to riot as the Saints occupy the ring. What's going to happen next? To be continued.......

<by anyone who has anything to add >

[snelson66]

FADE back in on the PHWF show. Matt Folz leans over to Stan Fulton.

MF: (whispering) "Don't you still own the PHWF?"

SF: "Yeah."

MF: "So is this costing you money?"

SF: "Maybe. My company isn't putting this on, but my talent is being hurt. This Jake Walker Productions will be hearing from my lawyers."

Folz smiles as we FADE.

[Leo]

Mac Flasher sits in a chair in a dressing room at an OOWF Labor Day house show. He’s in his wrestling gear. He has his elbows on his knees and his fists underneath his chin. He stares at the OOWF World Title on a bench across from him. His expression is emotionless, but it appears as if he’s in deep contemplation as he looks at his reflection in the shiny metal of the belt’s faceplate.

He hears a knock at the door and says “come in.” He expects to see Bridget O’Malley, but is surprised by “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet. He’s in his new wrestling gear, all black tights and boots, with slicked back silver hair.

JB: Enjoying private time with your girlfriend?

MF: No, we usually get ready for matches separately.

JB: I didn’t mean Bridget.
Bullet picks up the belt, holds it for a second too long, and then hands it off to Flasher. Flasher cradles it in his right arm.

MF: You and Mooshead Jack can talk all the smack you want. This title doesn’t define me.

JB: You could have fooled me, Matt Folz.

MF: I’m Mac Flasher.

JB: You’re both MF’ers. I have a hard time keeping you straight.

MF: And you and Moosehead are a find pair of Jacks. Back home in Pittsburgh, we’d call you a couple of Jagoffs.

JB: Mac, you’ve been a pretty good friend to me around here. You were at my side at the hospital after Christian Carter attacked me. You’ve been the only person I’ve tagged with in the OOWF more than once who hasn’t turned on me. I wish it was Moosehead Jack still wearing that belt instead of you. I’d rather take it off of him at Hell on Earth than someone who I actually like and respect, but if it has to be you, then it’s you.

MF: You taking this title at Hell on Earth isn’t a forgone conclusion, Jack. You getting the title shot hasn’t even been declared yet.

JB: C’mon, we know the triple threat at Mayhem is some sort of default number one contender’s match. If I can prove myself against you and Moose that title is shot mine. And you don’t have to be versed in Steiner Math to know that Moosehead isn’t even going to try and that puts you at a great disadvantage to me.

MF: Archduke of a the Triple Threat was just another nickname pulled out of a hat by the OOWF ad wizards to sell shirts for you. Don’t start believing your own hype.

Bullet stands up from the bench.

JB: Hype to one man might be truth to another. And that’s not at talking point, that’s an action point.

Bullet turns and walks to the door.

MF: Hey Jack…

Bullet stops at the door and turns slightly back toward Flasher.

MF: See you on Wednesday.

JB: See you on Wednesday.

Bullet gives a slight head nod, exits and we fade.

[blownspot]

The Saints sit in the back of a police van in cuffs under armed guard contemplating the last half hour of events.

Matt - Too far?

MHJ - Not far enough.

Fulton - Any further and we would have been shot at.

Stank - Been there done that bought the T-Shirt.

The conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Victor DiNiro opening the door to the back of the van. The Saints all turn and look down at Vic as Danny Taylor walks up and stands behind him.

Vic - If it were up to me you all would be suspended … Hell … I'd fire the lot of you.

MHJ - You'd try.

Vic - But Danny here is the GM and he is having you released from custody. God only knows why because he won't tell me. If I were you I'd be afraid at what he might have planned.

Moose smirks. DDT Smirks right back.

Vic - You'll be free to go in a few minutes.

Danny Taylor and Victor DiNiro take there leave as the guards close ranks by the open door.

Stank - Well that was easy.

Matt - Says you. I still have to face Jamie when we get out of here.

Fulton - You actually think she is going to care about what we did here?

Matt - I hurt my hand knocking out that Viking guy … whathisname?

Stank - Steve?

Matt - Yeah that guy. So I took off my wedding ring and thought I put it in my pocket. Last I checked it wasn't there.

Fulton - Ooooh.

Stank - I'm sure she'll understand.

MHJ - Guys I didn't hear any mention of my no contact clause being lifted so this is NOT over.

Stank - There's not much more we can do to the PHWF.

Fulton - Hopefully the spike in ratings will translate to a recoup in costs.

MHJ - Uh … yeah … sorry about that.

Fulton - No problem. The owner of a federation showing up and wrecking things a bit doesn't seem to hurt the WWE's bottom line so …

Stank - What do you think Taylor has in mind for us?

Matt - Whatever it is I'm sure we can handle it.

Fulton - What do you want to do in the meantime?

An evil grin slowly forms on Moosehead Jack's face.

Stank - Uh.. oh..

Fade

[Fire-Babe]

Meanwhile...

Fire is sitting in medical while Ecosystem comes to.

Eco: What? Where? Mai?

FW: No. Mai is not here. I am.

Eco: Oh....oh...well, that's good I guess....

FW: Gee thanks.

Eco: Sorry, I just...what happened?

FW: It was off-screen mostly...

Fire plays the footage of the Saints in Danny and Victor's office.

Eco: Those.....what are you planning to do?

FW: I am not planning on doing anything, Juni. YOU are.

Eco: Me? I'm barely in any shape to--

FW: Bullshit. We ALL take care of our own business, and YOU are not taking care of yours.

Eco: Hey, you wanted me to wrestle all for-reals and stuff in the ring, and I'm doing that....

FW: Mostly.

Eco: Mostly is more than not at all. What more can I do?

FW: Simple. Face Moose.

Eco thinks about it.

Eco: *insincerely* You know, Fire, I'd love to...REALLY I would...but darn it all, there's a non-contact clause so I can't just so flagrantly defy the GM's orders, you know...

FW: Uh huh. You can allow the commissioner to tell the GM to set a match between the two of you and--

Eco: Oh...uh...no, I don't think that's--

FW: Eco...Juni....I can't tell the board who I think should be the rightful CEO if you won't even do this.

Eco: You say "do this" as if it's a walk in the park. It's--

FW: Moose, I know, and I'm well aware of what he's capable of. We're very similar that way. And even so, watching what he's doing to Mac Flasher is good reminder.

Eco: Exactly.

FW: It's also good preparation.

Eco: Meaning?

FW: My brother is many things, but innovative is not one of them. He's got a limited bag of tricks and you're basically seeing them all play out in front of you.

Eco: You might be right.

FW: Of course I'm right. So get out of this bed and meet me in the training room in two hours. I have some calls to make.

Eco: To the board?

FW: It's about time they get off the fence and give control of this company to the right person.

Firewoman walks out as we fade.

[snelson66]

FADE in on the Destroyatorium. Yelling can be heard from behind the door to Matt & Jamie Folz’s suite. A lot of yelling. Like, more yelling than Olivia Munn did to Aaron Rodgers.

Sitting at a laptop in the main bar area is The Crusher Stan Fulton. He’s either talking to the computer (which would be weird in a She movie kind of way), or talking on Skype. As the camera pans around, we see he’s talking to Martha Rodriguez, CEO of Great Lakes Consulting North LLC, Fulton’s consulting and holding company.

SF: “So what’s the damage?”

MR: “Not as much as you’d think. PHWF interview requests are through the roof, which elevates the brand. Merch sales are slightly up as well. Social media trends are negative towards the Saints and the PHWF. Smarks are busy calling this a work, pointing out that you own the PHWF.”

SF: “Well there’s little we can do about that.”

MR: “Our holding company is finalizing purchase of the catering and transportation assets of the OOWF. Again.”

SF: “What can I say. I like to drive and I like to eat.”

MR: “I indulge you these things, Stan, because they make money. Just keep that in mind.”

SF: “It’s why I made you CEO. You’re willing to say no to my ideas when they suck.”

MR: “We’ve filed a lawsuit against Jake Walker Productions for trademark and copyright infringement in using our PHWF name and logos in their marketing and promotion.”

SF: “You realize I’m going to have to go up against Moose on this eventually.”

MR: “Jack will get over it. He likes you.”

SF: “He likes Lisa too. He’s willing to beat her bloody.”

MR: “Point taken. We’ve also disciplined the talent for breach of contract.”

SF: “Thanks for the update, Martha. How’s Minnesota?”

MR: “Wet and humid. Been raining a lot.”

SF: “Just great. This weather pattern holds, we’ll have 100 inches of snow this year.”

MR: “Beats hurricanes.”

SF: “OK. Let’s get these deals closed and signed. Offer our services to Cody and the Bucks if they do ALL IN 2. Offer at cost.”

MR: “I’ll see if I can get any OOWF talent on the card.”

SF: “Our Board of Directors are pretty uptight about that. Give it a shot though.”

MR: “Take care of yourself, Stan. This war will have casualties. I don’t want you one of them.”

SF: “Thanks. I can take care myself. And Mai and Matt are watching my back.”

MR: “Give my best to Mai and Jamie.”

A loud... shriek, for lack of a better term, is heard through the walls.

MR: “Assuming she doesn’t divorce Matt.”

SF: “Yeah, he’s not getting Sunday free to watch football now.”

FADE

[Jack Quinn]

<Moose and Jake Walker walk into the Destroyitarium and head right toward Stan. Stan turns on the stool and eyes them both>

MHJ: Crush, we are here because we fucked up

SF: Oh?

Jake: Yeah man, I thought you had liquidated the PHWF, I was just picking up the pieces of a good thing, didn't mean to step on any toes here

SF: <looking at Moose> so, you aren't mad about this?

MHJ: Why would I be mad? I wouldn't have done this had I known you were still running it

JW: Seriously, look Stan, I respect you, and clearly you know Jack and I go way back.......

SF: Looks like the damage was minimal........however, you still didn't get what you wanted

MHJ: Didn't I?

SF: You think Fire will shame Juni into dropping the no-compete thing?

MHJ: I mean, she will.......unless she wants to look like a complete failure

JW: <backing away> oh hell

SF: What?

MHJ: I'm just sayin' I know my sister, and one day she will want to be commissioner again, if she can't even put her foot down and get ONE wrestler to fall in line, how is she EVER going to manage a whole roster again? No one will respect her at all

SF: You think this will work?

MHJ: That's up to her, she can stand up and lead, or she can be a coward and continue to let Eco hide, I mean, if she wants to support a sniveling coward, that's on her.

JW: Look, Stan, I am staying out of the Quinn madness, but I just wanted to let you know, if you need a GM, or hell, anyone to do anything with the PHWF, let me know

SF: Weren't you in prison once?

JW: More than once. But it was never for stealing money or anything

SF: That makes it better?

JW: I was an inmate, I know how to run an asylum

<Fulton laughs and tells Walker he'll consider it, and we fade>

[Fire-Babe]

Fire, Ecosystem, and Ghost are gathered for a pre-match conversation. The INC has appeared to miss most of it.

GH: I shall make Shiziru pay dearly for coming between my wife and I.

FW: And what about Shannon?

GH: It would be unseemly for me to confront her in this way. I leave that to the two of you.

Eco: Oh...well, sure. I guess that's better than me taking out my sister. I mean, what kind of siblings willingly beat each other up to settle their differences?

FW: ...

Eco: Oh....hi Fire.

FW: Hi. It's a lopsided match, for sure, Almost should be two separate handicap matches but--

Danny Taylor appears.

DDT: ....

FW: Oh, I know, Danny, you don't like blood baths. I don't know what makes you think that would happen.

DDT: .....

FW: Fine. Say, um, Eco...isn't there something you want tell GMtDanny?

Eco: Hm?

FW: .....

Eco: No, I don't think so.

FW: About the no-contact rule?

Eco: Um...OH that....

FW: Yeah, that.

Eco: *patting Danny on the shoulder* Great idea, that. Good lookin' out for me, buddy.

DDT: ....

FW: That's NOT what we discussed.

Eco: Technically YOU discussed. I laid there in pain, thanks in large part due to the partners of your brother.

FW: Which THEY wouldn't have to do unless you gave him the match.

Eco: ....

FW: ....

DDT: .....

GH: I understand your reluctance. If I were a coward, I would want those who threatened me to be kept away.

Eco: Wait, what?

GH: I am not a coward though.

Eco: IS THAT WHAT YOU ALL THINK OF ME?

Everyone but Fire looks around uncomfortably.

Eco: Well...FINE then. Danny....I DEMAND that you book a match with Moose.

DDT: .....

FW: He says "You do?"

Eco: Damn skippy!

DDT: .....

FW: He says "When?"

Eco: As soon as possible!

DDT: .....

FW: He says "Are you sure?"

Eco: How are you doing that?

FW: Just answer the question!

Eco: I had no idea people saw me as a coward.

GH: Really?

Eco: *ignoring him** Well NO MORE! I am JUNICHIRO MUYO, Yakuza-connected founder of the OOWF!! I CONTROLLED this company with Trinity and Blackwater! I fear NO ONE! I LIVE by the slogan "Work Harder, not Smarter!!"

FW: Um....

Eco gets face to face with Danny.

Eco: Book it, Danno!

Danny nods and smiles, and walks back towards his office.

Eco: I am READY! I am STOKED!

FW: Okay, McGarrett, save a little something for today,

Eco: Mc-who?

FW: Go get dressed for the match.

Ecosystem walks off, punching his fist into his other hand, shouting things like "Let's do this!" Fire and Ghost watch him go.

GH: Sister-in-law.

FW: Future.

GH: Future sister-in-law. Is that wise?

FW: Once the board sees that motivation, they'll have no choice but to make the change.

Ghosthead nods as we fade.

[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#877)
Live! From Trenton, New Jersey
September 5, 2018

BEER MONEY vs. THE DARLINGS

Both teams are announced and make their way to the ring, and neither one of them is exactly popular with the fans. SYB screams at several old ladies and children while Alex and Alexis just look at the crowd with disdain. SYB starts things off and demands Alexis start for her team. She comes into the ring and SYB tries to go all Andy Kauffman and degrade her, but Alexis puts a quick stop to that by damn near slapping SYB’s head off his shoulders.

The Darlings take control and dominate most of the match using quick tags to beat SYB mercilessly. SYB finally manages to hit the Jersey Turnpike on Alex, which allows him to make the tag to Skurge. Skurge comes in and he and Alex put on a wrestling clinic with Skurge countering everything Alex throws at him and getting several near falls. As Alex starts to make a comeback, SYB races into the ring while the referee is distracted and hits another low blow. This causes Alexis to hop off the apron and race around the ring, pull SYB down and beat the ever loving shit out of him. The problem is, Alex when Alex finally recovers and tries to tag in his sister, she is not there.

Skurge grabs Alex from behind and rolls him up, puts his feet on the ropes and gets a three count! What an upset!
WINNERS in 10:54 – Beer Money

BRIDGET O’MALLEY vs. ZED

The feed rejoins the ring with Zed standing in the ring as BRICK~! is spitting out the final bars of his newest “hit” single “Forgot About BRICK~!” packed with disses of Zed’s opponent this week. Bridget O’Malley doesn’t even wait for her music to play before racing to the ring and bringing a fight to Zed, who ducks between the ropes as “Junior” Hale intervenes. Bridget tries to bypass Hale, but is rebuked as Zed gets a jab to the throat on Bridget before Hale calls for the bell.

Zed starts to work on Bridget immediately, clubbing her down with forearms and hitting a running knee lift to get a quick 1 on her. A butterfly suplex is spun into another pinning try that also gets 1. As Bridget tries to get away, Zed grabs her hair and pulls her into a neck breaker that also gets 1. Zed puts a few boots to Bridget before she catches his right foot and pulls him into an ankle lock submission. Zed grasps for the ropes and reaches them with ease. When Hale tries to get the two untangled, BRICK~! grabs Bridget’s ankle, causing a temporary loss of focus. Zed charges in, only for Bridget to toss him over the ropes with Zed crashing head-first onto BRICK~!.

Razz: “As hard as BRICK~! is, that might be a skull fracture for Zed! He’s actually cut open from that collision.”
Russ: “BRICK~! is a lot of things, but the most important thing is that he’s very hard. You hit him, chances are that you’ll hurt more than he does.”

Zed stands in a daze as Bridget hits a sliding dropkick to crash him into the barricade. As Zed gets his feet underneath him, Bridget happily takes him down with a suicide dive through the ropes that acts as a spear. The Trenton faithful salute Bridget, who honors that salute by running Zed into a pair of posts before rolling him into the ring. As Bridget reenters, BRICK~! grabs her ankle again, getting shaken off, but not before Zed can deliver a flying forearm out of desperation. Bridget falls to the outside and with Zed calling Hale over to check on his forehead cut, BRICK~! takes a production cable and wraps it around Bridget’s throat. With Bridget fading, Zed keeps Hale distracted long enough before BRICK~! chokes Bridget down to her knees. BRICK~! unwraps the cable and rolls Bridget into the ring as Zed has recovered enough to not need Hale’s attention. Zed, still feeling the effects of his adventures on the outside, slowly makes his way to Bridget, who is hardly moving as she regains her air. Zed smiles and points downward, signaling a GTH DDT. Zed picks Bridget up to her feet by her hair and tries to package her, only to get caught in a small package from Bridget as Hale snaps off a quick 3.
WINNER (Pinfall, 7:20) Bridget O’Malley.

Bridget rolls out of the ring as BRICK~! rolls in, giving her the chance to celebrate as Zed fumes over the missed opportunity. With BRICK~! checking on Zed, the North Carolinian pushes BRICK~! away out of frustration as Bridget celebrates with fans around the ringside area.

SHIZURU, SHANNON MANN & MAI MUYO vs. GHOSTHEAD, FIREWOMAN & ECOSYSTEM

This match never had a chance. As Mai, Shizuru and Shannon make their way to the ring, Ghost charges at the ropes, dives over the tops and takes out Shizuru and Shannon. Ghost hammers Shizuru with punches and kicks, until Shannon intervenes with a neckbreaker on the floor on her husband. Mai slides into the ring and she and Fire tear into one another. Eco starts to get involved, but hesitates slightly. He grabs Mai from behind to pull her off of Fire and Mai turns and hits him right in the temple with a spinning fist. Eco staggers and goes down to one knee with a shocked look on his face. Mai snarls and stands over him for a moment, then grabs him and pulls him up and backs him into the corner screaming in his face. Fire grabs Mai from behind and lands a legit right to the jaw. Mai snarls and goes after Fire again.

On the outside, Ghost is doing his best to fight both Shannon and Shizuru, and is not doing so well with it. They spill into the crowd and Ghost grabs a chair and swings for Shizuru’s head, but Shizuru moves and the chair catches Shannon upside the head! Ghost drops the chair in horror, which allows Shiziru to grab a chair of his own and slams it down on Ghost’s head, opening a nasty gash on his forehead. Back inside the ring, Eco is about to go after Mai again when Moose slides into the ring! He grabs Eco from behind, spins him around, kicks him in the gut and PLANTS him with a DDT! Moose is immediately on Eco hammering him with punches to the face. Fire breaks free from Mai and tackles her brother to the mat and the two siblings start to brawl. Eco regains his composure and tries to go after Moose, but Mai grabs him from behind and soon they are also brawling around the ring.

The referee takes one look at what is going on outside the ring, and inside the ring, does the math and realizes that Moose does not belong in this match and calls for the bell.
WINNERS via DQ in 3:21 – Firewoman, Ecosystem & Ghosthead

Officials flood the ring and ringside to pull everyone apart. They get Moose and Mai out of the ring. Moose shoves several officials aside and grabs a mic

Juni…….welcome to the fucking game you goddamn coward. And YOU <looking at Fire> Murchada, you will be dealt with like the traitor you are. At Hell on Earth……….Fire and Juni against………..me and Mai

Moose slams the mic down on the mat and spreads his arms out in the Christ pose, Mai stands in front of him and does the same while glaring at her brother. Inside the ring Eco still looks a bit in shock, while Fire has rage in her eyes.

BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE vs. SAINTS OF SINNERS

BFE is out first, not Drunkey or Drunkette, only Ellie May From Elijay comes out with them. Justin and Bill look a lot more serious tonight than normal, and they will need all that concentration to beat the Saints tonight. The Saints are announced and Stan and Matt make their way to the ring and the crowd boos the ever loving shit out of them.

The bell rings and the Saints immediately gain the advantage. Stan and Matt work like a well oiled machine and keep Bill on their side of the ring, thwarting every come back attempt by Bill. The crowd starts a BFE! BFE chant and Bill is fired up. He ducks a clothesline attempt from Stan, stops on a dime and hits an ATOMIC ELBOW! Stan rocks back on his heels, Matt comes in and gets the same, then DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Matt falls to the mat and Stan does the slow tiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmber face first fall to the mat. Bill covers Stan, but Stan powers out. Bill finally turns and makes the tag to Justin.

Justin comes in like a house on fire and clears the ring. While Stan is recovering outside, Justin dives over the top rope, but Stan catches him in a bear hug and is about to slam him back first into the ringpost when Justin stops it and turns it into a DDT on the floor! Now BFE takes over and keeps the powerful Fulton on the mat on their side of the ring. Justin and Bill both get several near falls, but cannot keep Fulton down for a three.

The end comes after Justin tries a flying clothesline, but Fulton catches him and spins him to the mat with a sidewalk slam. Fulton makes the tag to Folz, Folz charges across the ring and KILLS Bill with a knee to the face. He grabs Justin as he stands up and drives him to the mat with an angle slam, then locks him in the ankle lock! Justin howls in pain and tries to make it to the ropes, but he cannot and he is forced to tap out!
WINNERS in 22:18 – Saints of Sinners

The referee hands the Saints their titles and they celebrate in the ring as they do, a businesslike handshake. They are about to leave the ring when “Dem Boys Will Survive” plays and the Ring of Honor world tag team champion Briscoe Brothers come out to the top of the ramp. Jay has a mic:

So, we heard you boys was puttin’ out a challenge to any team in the world. Well, since you boys is gonna be in our neck of the woods next week, how about you MAN UP and face the NINE TIME Ring of Honor world tag team champions!

The crowd pops big for this. Stan and Matt are standing in the ring, they glance at one another and nod, Folz gets a mic

You’re on

The crowd again pops big as the Briscoes head to the back.

MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. JACK BULLET vs. MAC FLASHER

Mike Elevenbee stands in the ring with a general crowd noise behind him.

ME: Our next match of the evening is a triple threat. Introducing first, at 210 pounds, from Des Moines, Iowa, “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet.

“Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent plays. Bullet walks to the ring in his new black trunks and boots with his hair slicked back.

Russ: The crowd is still cheering for Jack Bullet, but it’s not quite the thunderous ovation we’ve heard for the Man of Action in the past.
Razz: A guy smartens up a little and starts putting his career above pleasing the fans just a smidge and they cool on him.

ME: Introducing next, he is the current past OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, weighing in at 230 pounds from Detroit, Michigan, the leader of the Saints of Sinners, Moosehead Jack.

Russ: Well, there is no question how the fans feel about Moosehead Jack. The boos are never louder in an arena than when he enters.
Razz: Moose is one of the most successful wrestlers ever in OOWF history and he got there by not catering to the fans one bit.

ME: And their opponent, weighing 225 pounds and hailing from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he is the current OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Mac Flasher.

Russ: And there is no mistaking how the fans feel about Mac Flasher. There is probably nobody more popular in the OOWF right now than our world champion.
Razz: That and a dollar will get him a cup of coffee. I’ve heard louder ovations for Paul Smackage.

The three men stand in opposite corners with referee Angelo Barros in the fourth. He claps his hands together and the bell rings. Bullet looks like a caged panther, Moosehead nonchalantly leans back in the corner. Flasher’s eyes dart back and forth between both men. Moosehead points at Mac and the camera picks him up saying “you don’t have to beat me, you have to beat him.”

Flasher has his attention on Moosehead, allowing Bullet to flying into the corner with a knee to the gut. Bullet beats on Flasher in the corner. Moosehead calmly strolls over, collars Jack around the neck and pulls him out to the center of the ring for an inverted DDT. He then stands and moves toward a stunned Flasher in the corner. Moosehead spins as he enters and catches the champ in the neck with a spinning chop.

Moosehead climbs the turnbuckles and balls up his fist. “You going to count this,” he screams at the fans. They don’t, but Moosehead does as he rains down the blows. “One…two…three…four…five…” Moosehead is interrupted as Bullet comes up under his legs and power bombs Moosehead out of the corner. Jack holds on for the count, but Moosehead kicks out at two. Bullet sits on the mat and is surprised by a running neck snap from behind by Flasher. He pulls Bullet to his feet for a suplex, but Jack slips out, lands behind Mac, hooks his right leg and scores a teardrop suplex.

Russ: This match isn’t for the title, but it could have huge implications for Hell on Earth. Jack Bullet has declared himself the number one contender, but nobody has confirmed that.
Razz: Nobody has refuted it either.

Bullet floats over for the cover, broke up with a boot to the back by Moosehead Jack. Jack pulls the Silver Eagle up by the wrist and whips him into the far ropes. He readies for a clothesline, but Bullet ducks under and hits the opposite ropes. Moosehead turns as Bullet comes at him with a flying crossbody. Moosehead catches Jack, twists him around and finishes with a backbreaker over his overstretch knee. As Moosehead is kneeling, Flasher returns to the fight with a seated dropkick.

Mac pulls Moosehead up and into a waistlock, but Moosehead reverses and Flasher has an ‘oh crap’ look on his face. Moosehead hits the German Suplex, rolls through into a Dragon Suplex and rolls through a third time for a Straight Jacket Suplex.

Russ: It’s the Chimera Suplex, a signature move of Moosehead Jack and could end this right now.

Moosehead holds the bridge for a one…two…Bullet sweeps the legs out from under Moosehead and breaks the bridge. Bullet leaps high from a standing position and hooks Moosehead’s leg for a one…two…he kicks out. Bullet rushes to the near second turnbuckle, judge both downed men and comes off with a fist drop to Flasher. He covers for one…two…Mac kicks out.

Razz: Bullet calls that the Eagle drop.
Russ: It’s a fist drop. We’re naming fist drops now.

Bullet pulls Flasher up by the tights, hooks a facelock and hits a slingshot suplex. He floats over for the cover, which Moosehead breaks up with another kick to the back. Moosehead pulls Jack up in a full nelson and then slams him down out of the move. Moosehead double stomps Flasher’s gut. He drops an elbow and covers for one…two…Mac kicks out.

Moosehead pulls Flasher up by the wrist and into a short arm clothesline. He drops a knee and covers, but Flasher puts his foot on the near bottom rope. Moosehead pulls the leg off the rope and hooks it. Flasher gets his shoulder up on the second pin attempt. Moosehead, showing some slight frustration, pulls Flasher up again and then just lays into him with a haymaker punch that puts him over the ropes to the floor. The fans pop and Moosehead is smart enough to turn around to that sound. It’s too late as Bullet hits a flying crossbody that sends both of them out to the floor.

Moosehead Jack has enough presence of mind to land on his feet. Bullet quickly pulls himself up by the apron, but Moosehead hits him with a knee lift. Flasher tries to attack from the side, but Moosehead sidesteps him and Mac runs into Bullet. Moosehead grabs Flasher and whips him into the steel guardrail. He follows with a blind charge that sandwiches Mac into a rail. Moosehead stays up against Flasher for a few moments, then sidesteps again. This allows Bullet to hit the Eagle Splash on Mac against the railing.

Bullet backs up a step and fires a chop. The crowd ‘woos.’ This serves to wake Flasher up and he fires back a chop to Bullet’s chest. The crowd ‘woos’ again. Mac hits another chop, a third, Jack blocks a fourth and cuts off Flasher with a knee lift. Mac bends over, but fires back with a punch to the gut. He pushes Bullet back to get some space and starts throwing punches. Bullet blocks, pushes Flasher back for some space and starts through punches. This erupts into a big brawl. While the fans scream for this, Moosehead Jack on the other side of the ring rolls underneath the bottom rope as Barros finishes his ring out count. The bell rings.

ME: Your winner at 28:26 by count out, Moosehead Jack.

Barros raises Moosehead’s hand and he gives a ‘what you gonna do’ look. The fans boo some, but most are still focused on the brawling Bullet and Flasher who go up the aisle and to break as Mayhem fades for commercial.

STANK vs. KYLIE MIGNOLIO – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

Stank makes his way to the ring, seconded by Zed. Stank steps into the ring while Zed remains at ringside. The OOWF Intercontinental champion Kylie Mignolio is announced, and she comes out from the back and stops at the top of the ramp, and a moment later she is joined by Bridget O’Malley. The two of them head to the ring and Bridget waits in her corner as Kylie steps into the ring and points to all the Josie signs and smiles.

The bell ring and Stank immediately attacks. Kylie turns the tables quickly and has the big man on the defensive. Kylie backs Stank into the corner and peppers him with chops, slaps and kicks, finishing him off with a stiff kick to the temple. Stank falls to the mat and Kylie quickly scales the ropes and hits a warrior stomp to the back of Stank’s head! She rolls Stank over and covers, but he kicks out at two.

Kylie continues the advantage, keeping Stank on the mat and working his oft injured knee, trapping him in a figure four. Stank howls in pain and fights his way to the ropes to force the break. The match continues on with Stank fighting back to regain the advantage, only to be cut off by Kylie once again. The end comes when Stank ducks a cross body by Kylie and she hits the ropes awkwardly and falls to the floor. From the outside Zed slides a pair of brass knucks into the ring, sending them well out of Stank’s reach. Bridget immediately jumps onto the apron and points them out to the referee, while he is picking up the knucks and getting Bridget off the apron, Zed grabs Kylie and hits a double underhook piledriver on the floor! Kylie is OUT! Zed rolls her back into the ring and Stank pulls her up, and hits a TRIPLE STANK BOMB! Stank covers, one…….two……THREE!
WINNER in 35:21 and NEW OOWF Intercontinental Champion – Stank

The referee hands Stank the title and Zed comes into the ring to celebrate, they are soon joined by Stan, Matt, Moose, Mai and Shizuru. The crowd, remembering the scene from Wildwood, litters the ring with trash as we fade to black

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Hell on Earth 14, September 29, LIVE! from Asheville, North Carolina! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! September 12th live! from Dover, Delaware!

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