[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#878)
Live! From Dover, Delaware
September 12, 2018

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
Bridget O'Malley vs. Stank

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
The Briscoe Brothers vs. The Saints of Sinners

Strap Match
Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman

Street Fight
Shizuru vs. Ghosthead

Kylie Mignolio vs. Zed
The Darlings vs. Banned From Everywhere
Mac Flasher & Jack Bullet vs. Beer Money
Mai Muyo vs. Ecosystem


Card subject to Delaware things
<ok, seriously, how much do YOU know about Delaware?>

[Leo]

Sexy Female Journalist Ichiban stands underneath an OOWF banner backstage.

Ichiban: My guest at this time is "Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet, Man of Action.

Bullet tromps up onto the stage covered in sweat and still fighting mad.

Ichiban: Despite you and Mac Flasher fighting out of the ring to the backstage area and giving Moosehead Jack a count out win tonight on Mayhem, you two will be in a tag team bout next week against Beer Money.

Bullet takes the microphone from Ichiban. He holds it in his right hand while pointing at the camera with his left.

JB: Mac Flasher, you have seemingly made this personal between us when I wanted to keep it professional. It doesn't matter to me who is holding that OOWF World Title come Hell on Earth. If it's you, then it's you. But, tonight you were the one who kept the fight on the floor. You were the one who pushed me up the aisle and to the back. You were the one who allowed Moosehead Jack a cheap, count out victory. I don't demand an apology. I don't demand an explanation. All I demand is that you come to me, look me in the eye like a man, hold your hand out and say "Jack, I've got your back next week" and then you shake my hand. Then I'll take tonight as a fluke and we can go on and beat Beer Money. I'll keep it professional and take care of business next week. I just need to know that you will too. Then Hell on Earth can be every man for himself. And that's not a talking point, that's an action point.

Bullet shoves the microphone back and Ichiban and stomps off.

Ichiban: He doesn't do the tooth ping anymore does he? Too bad.

FADE

[Sportsguy]

We fade in and see the World Tag Team Champions leaving the arena.

Matt: So uh, Stan, odd question.

Stan: Yes?

Matt: Who the FUCK were those guys?

Stan: What guys?

Matt: The ones who challenged us.

Stan: The Briscoe Brothers.

Matt: ...

Stan: From ROH.

Matt: ...

Stan: Ring of Honor? The wrestling company?

Matt: ...

Stan (Sighing): You've never seen it have you?

Matt: I'm vaguely aware OF it, but no. So what, these guys are supposed to be good or something?

Stan: They're not bad.... but nowhere near our level.

Matt: Now you're talking. Ribs in my suite tomorrow while we watch the game?

Stan: Matt, you know there's more life than football.

Both pause and then start laughing uproariously.

Stan: I'm just kidding, of course I'll be there.

Matt: Right on.

The duo continue on when they pass by Mai Muyo.

Mai: Hey guys.

Stan: Mai.

Matt: Hey kiddo. How you doing?

Mai: Fine, why?

Matt: You see the lineup?

Mai: Yeah.

Matt: Remember, he's NEVER given a damn about you. He's not your brother he's just an opponent. And we gave him EVERY opportunity to stay out of this and he refused. So show him what happens when he goes up against a member of the Saints.

Mai: I will.

Matt: I mean it kiddo, show no mercy.

Mai: I got it.

Matt: Good.

Stan: Good. On a brighter note, care to join Matt and I for ribs while we watch the game tomorrow night?

Mai: UGH, guys, seriously there's more to life than football.

Matt and Stan just glare at Mai before walking away disgusted.

Matt: Where the hell did we go wrong with her?

FADE

[L!zz~]

(SFJ 98 catches up with Kylie, who has Josie and their luggage as she heads out of the arena)

98: Kylie, a quick word...

(Kylie pauses, leaning down she whispers to Josie, who nods and moves off a bit, but staying where her aunt can see her)

Kylie: What's up?

98: I wanted to get your comments on your loss.

Kylie: I lost. It happens.

98: You aren't upset you lost the IC championship so quickly?

Kylie:Of course I am but the only one to blame is myself. I can make excuses, I can say there have been shorter runs both here and other companies, and by bigger and better than me, but you know what, that doesn't matter. It will come back to me and I'll never let it go .

98: You've had a lot going on personally lately, are you upset about Jack?

Kylie: Excuse me?

98: You're relationship with Jack is over. First, Mac...now Jack..

Kylie: Listen, my relationship with Jack is not the same type of relationship I had with Mac..who, by the way I harbor no ill will towards. You might have missed how Bridget and I get on...and Second, Jack is considered family . All family acts like assholes at times. He's going thru stuff, I get it...but I won't allow anyone to hurt Josie.

98: Don't you think Josie would be better off elsewhere, away from all this?

Kylie: No..Josie belongs with me.

98: Wouldn't she better off with her uncle? A more stable, loving environment? And you can focus on your career?

Kylie: (her eyes narrowing, steps into 98s space) Ah...he's for an in has he? Well, you just gave it away. I don't know what he's paid you, or given you or promised you but you know nothing about that bastard and his family. You know nothing what they have done or will do, so you better watch yourself before you are their next victim. Josephine would be safer in the middle of an all out brawl between Moosehead Jack and his worst enemy than she would be anywhere near those people. (Kylie leans closer to the SFJ) Stay away from me and stay away from my niece. If I so much as see you in the same hallway I will put you in the ground.

(Turning Kylie calls to Josephine, picking her up, she grabs their bags and heads toward the exit)

Fade

[Fire-Babe]

Ecosystem is in medical getting checked out, when Lucky comes in.

L: Oh, it's just you.

Eco: I'm fine, thanks for asking.

L: Sorry...you seen Fire?

Eco: Um...not really since the match, why?

L: Me neither.

Eco: Is everything okay?

L: Not likely.

Lucky leaves, very concerned. He checks the suite she shares with Stank, Batista the Barista's cart, the training room, the commissioner's office...nothing...

Meanwhile....

Fire is calmly walking down a hallway, which you think would be okay, but it's the fact that she's walking calmly. Too calmly, after her match with the interference of Moosehead Jack. Even though her group won, there's no way she's this calm, really....

Kayfabe: Hey...VOG...enough with the commentary.

VOB: Sorry....

She turns a corner and sets a stern snarl on her face as she heads toward the Destroyitarium. She's just about there when the door opens. It is at that moment we see her raise her arm, in which she is carrying this:



Before she can use it though she does hesitate and sees that it is her fiance, and he's on the phone.

S: WHOA! HEY!

FW: Oh...it's you.

S: *into the phone* Yeah, she's here, Lucky. Okay, see you in a few. *to Fire* Hey, honey....what you got there?

FW: Shillelagh.

S: Oh...wow, it looks like an all-wood Happy Deth Bat.

FW: It's where the idea came from. So--

S: Hey, why don't we go get some....coffee?

FW: ...

S: Ice cream?

FW: ....

S: Coffee ice cream?

FW: Sure, I just got to deal with one little thing.

S: We gotta hurry before it melts.

FW: Huh?

Stank is trying to usher Fire away from the door, which has been ajar all this time. Moose has heard the commotion and comes out.

MHJ: Heya, Sis! To what do I owe the pleasure of this--

Fire strikes, moving past Stank and attacking Moose with the shillelagh in one quick motion. Moose just gets out of the way in time. He laughs angrily.

MHJ: Oh, I see we're going old school, eh?

FW: HOW DARE YOU.....You crossed a LINE, Jack.

MHJ: I did? Which line was that? I've loaned the Firewoman Management manual to Stank.

S: Wait...there's a manual?

FW: MURCHADA?

Stank has Fire around the waist now. Moose places himself JUST out of her range with the shillelagh, not that it stops her from trying.

MHJ: IF THE TRAITOR'S NAME FITS!

S: Fire, calm down...Moose--

MHJ: What is Murchada?

FW: YOU'RE DEAD!

S: YES!

MHJ: The grandaddy of all Irish traitors responsible for the English occupation, the famine, the troubles in the north amongst others by his act of bringing Henry the 2nd to Ireland in 1171 copperfastening the foreign occupation which led to all those things.

S: Jack...

FW: Let me GOOOOO...

S: I'm tempted.

MHJ: He'd be JUST LIKE someone I know to AGREE TO A THING and then completely TURN HIS BACK.

Fire breaks free with a banshee scream, and swings, catching Moose at the side of the head. Moose drops, and Fire starts to beat him with the shillelagh when Lucky appears.

L: FIRE~!

Lucky jumps in front of Fire and expertly counters her downswing with a rising block. This stuns Fire...and everyone else. Stank helps Moose to his feet, since Lucky has Fire.

L: You are going to ruin EVERYTHING~!

Fire looks at him confused, and then slowly lowers her arm.

FW: Lucky, shut up.

L: What I mean is, do you think the board will listen to you if you fly off the handle like this?

FW: But he said--

L: Fire. Go back to the suite.

Fire glares at him, and then turns and pokes her shillelagh at Moose.

FW: This is NOT. OVER.

MHJ: *rubbing the knot on the side of his head.* We'll see.

Fire storms off.

L: I think I can smooth stuff over with the board...*he looks around*...which obviously no one here cares about. You're welcome, Moose.

Lucky leaves.

S: What the hell just happened?

MHJ: My sister just tried to kill me, and then that douchebag ended up stopping her. I cannot tell you how much I hate that.

S: You'd rather she succeeded?

MHJ: Pfft. I'm too stubborn to die.

S: I'm not sure that's a match for her stubbornness about beating you to a pulp.

Moose goes back into the Destroyitarium. Stank looks down the hall where Lucky has just turned the corner.

S: I gotta learn how he does that...

[L!zz~]

(Kylie glances in the rearview mirror, the car is still parked, making sure Josie has on her headphones before hitting some buttons on the phone and putting it to her ear)

Kylie: Answer already...Yeah it's me. (Listens, opens her mouth, closes it, opens it again) Listen..stop...yeah..yeah...I need information. (Another pause) Who else would I call if I need information? (A much longer pause) I know that...so I'll meet you when you have it.

(Kylie starts the car and the noise drowns out the conversation)

Kylie: I know you would..ok..yeah yeah love you too. I gotta go...ok.. bye.(tossing her phone on the seat, she once again glances back at Josie before focusing and pulling out of the parking space)

Fade

[snelson66]

FADE in on the arena in Dover. Just walking in are the OOWF World Tag Team Champions, Matt Folz and The Crusher Stan Fulton.

SF: “I just thought of something.”

MF: “Will wonders never cease.”

SF: “Why have you never had a nickname or wrestling name? Your name is Matt Folz. Your in-ring name is ... Matt Folz. What’s up with that?”

MF: “When you’re as good as me, you don’t need a nickname.”

SF: “Sure. You just couldn’t come up with one.”

MF: “Well, I was known as ‘Sportsguy’ at one time.”

SF: “Yeah?”

MF: “It didn’t take.”

SF: “I’m not surprised.”

MF: “So where did ‘The Crusher’ sobriquet come from?”

SF: “Sobriquet. Very nice.”

MF: “I am an educated man.”

SF: “I’ve had it since I was wrestling in VFWs.”

MF: “...”

SF: “...”

MF: “So where are we?”

SF: “Delaware.”

MF: “Delaware.”



SF: “Yeah.”

MF: “So the Briscoe Brothers?”

SF: “Uh huh.”

MF: “They’re not going to promo are they?”

SF: “Probably not.”

MF: “We’re going to carry the load for the tag team division for a while.”

SF: “When haven’t we?”

MF: “There was that time when you weren’t here.”

SF: “Well, yeah.”

MF: “And then when we weren’t partners.”

SF: “True.”

MF: “So... a lot of time.”

SF: “I meant recently.”

MF: “Then you should have said recently.”

SF: “I thought it was implied.”

MF: “That wasn’t clear at all.”

SF: “Tell me again why I partnered with you?”

MF: “Because, like your football team, you feel the need to be associated with a winner. It’s why the Vikings consider the Packers their rival, when it’s not the reverse.”

SF: “I really don’t like you much.”

MF: “I know.”

...

SF: “Delaware. Shit.”

FADE

[Jack Quinn]

<Moose is sitting in the Destroyitarium drinking Trust Me and smoking a cigar, he still has a knot on his head from Fire's unprovoked attack>

So, here I sit once again getting ready to face my sister in a match. This time it's a strap match. You know what the most hilarious thing about all of this is?

I am right.

When we go out there Wednesday night, those moron fans are going to cheer my sister like she is some kind of hero. Like she is doing something honorable.

She's not.

Fire, you have two counts against you, the first is helping that useless piece of shit Juni get his position as CEO back. The man who has won titles at gunpoint. The man who has eaten the flesh of his opponents. The man who is such an egomaniac that he put his face on everything. The man who betrayed you more than once. The man you once set on fire to settle a score. THAT is what you support. Over blood, family and love.

And the fans cheer you for that.

The second is, you are a liar. And worse than being a liar, you are a traitor, Murchada. You can hit me with a shillelagh all you want, but from now on your weapon of choice might as well be an English sword. You broke an oath, and yet, when you go out there and tell the people that you are fighting for THEM. That you are fighting me for the good of the OOWF, they will believe you.

They don't care that you lie to them.

Fire, you've become a spoiled little brat, a petulant child who lies to get out of what she doesn't want to do. Worse than that, you've destroyed your word. Back in the day you would have been drawn and quartered and your head would be left as a warning for all other traitors, a sign that this is the punishment that awaits you. The OOWF won't let me do that, so this week, I am going to whip the hide off your back, and as I do it, I am going to look out at the crowd of OOWF idiot fans and I am going to watch the hurt and disappointment on all their faces, I am going to enjoy their look as you fail them, again. I am not going to lie and say I won't enjoy this because I am fucking tired of your shit, I am tired of your betrayals, I am tired of your lying.

Your punishment comes due on Wednesday, and you WILL pay the piper.

Trust me.

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman is SITTING on top of the hotel/arena/wherever it is we spend our time, taking a cigarette break. Stank walks up, and appears that he's been looking for her.

S: Hey, I've been looking for you. The game starts at 3:30 and I was going to try and talk you into watching in the Destroyitarium.

Firewoman and Stank both stare straight ahead, as if silently condemning Voice Over Guy who does not appreciate it. Not at all...

FW: Sorry, I just needed some alone time.

S: Oh, sorry...you want me to leave?

Fire takes a long, thoughtful drag, and exhales.

FW: No, we should probably get this over with.

S: Um...okay...

Stank sits down next to her. Awkward Silence.

S: Nice view.

FW: So I've been doing the archiving, you know... And I've saved some clips that I think can kind of explain where my head is at. Which is kind of nice, because usually I neither know nor care where that is.

S: Okay....

FW: So first up:

SFJ: Wow...

FW: So there you have it. Hours after conspiring to do the one thing to me they both swore they'd never do, they're drinking it up and planning to put me and my whatever freshly minted sanity I end up with right smack dab in the middle of another reality-questioning situation. Which I did. Because it was important and necessary. So yeah...I'm thinking about a vacation. One that is where and when I want it to be, for a change.

Firewoman starts to storm past.

SFJ: But, Fire...you really think they were being mean? I mean, weren't they trying to help you.

Fire stops and softens a bit.

FW: Yeah...yeah....I know they were.....

Fire continues walking away.

S: That was right after you got back.

FW: Yeah...See, I think one of my issues is...I've never forgiven them for doing it. For putting me...here.

Fire holds up the arm with the medical bracelet.

S: I thought you took that off eventually?

FW: Well, I didn't seem to do that in the promos, so it must have been off camera. Anyway, I went to my memory box and got it. I was going to promo that, but I keep running out of time so....

Kayfabe appears.

FW: I mean the INCs weren't...you know, this is going to be long enough so if you can just indulge me a bit, Kay?

Kayfabe scowls, but leaves.

FW: Sheesh...

S: Is that why you refused to join the Saints?

FW: Here is my loving brother's response after that:

MHJ: <shaking his head in frustration> you don't get it do you? I am done trying to figure my sister out. Done. That doesn't mean I am done with her, it just means I am done trying to figure out what the hell she is doing. She sides with me when it's convenient, she goes back to Alex when its convenient, she wants to be the face of the OOWF when it's convenient, she wants to shy away from the spotlight when its convenient, she wants everyone to trust her when, then she gets mad when they don't because Fire lies. I'm done trying to figure it out. Fire can do whatever it is Fire does, and I will do what I do. If our paths cross, good or bad, so be it. I am finished trying to figure her out.

FW: Can't say as I blame him...I wasn't sure what I was doing either. This thing with Mai, I think, has its roots in that...

FW: Mai...you should listen to Matt Folz, and listen to him well. He will tell you who I am. I am she who sits upon the tomb. I am the shining queen of the damned. I am the one who can only be trusted to not be trusted. You should have listened to everyone. They were right, you were wrong. I am beyond redemption.

Or I am? Everyone has their ideas of who I am...who I should be...who I will be.... I don't know about all that. What I do know is....

I will do whatever is necessary to keep the Intercontinental Championship.

FW: I mean, she was trying to be nice.... Anyway, Moose wasn't the only one I was frustrated with, and who was frustrated with me.

Chad: (Cutting her off) No, I don’t. And I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know what kind of bargain with the devil you made with your lunatic brother and douchebag husband.

Fire: I don’t know what you Think you know, but…

Chad: Let me tell you what I do know. I know that the Firewoman I traveled the World with these past couple years would have whipped your tail already for getting involved in all that crap. Where is She? Where is my friend Lisa? Because I don’t like this Mrs. Quinn-Darling person I see.

S: Harsh.

FW: Harsh, but deserved. Hell, even Ecosystem got in on the act.

Eco: Oh, drop the act.

FW: Huh?

Eco: Who knows you best around here?

FW: Um, Alex? ... *Ecosystem shakes his head no* ... Moose? ... *He shakes his head again* ... Wait...YOU?

Eco: Fire, when you were part of the Trinity family--

FW: *holding up her hand* Okay, stop.

Eco: Alright but seriously, you don't belong in Royalty, despite your shiny tiara. Anyone with half a brain can see your heart just isn't in it. You'd think your husband could, but he's so busy being the Brat Prince, I doubt he even notices.

FW: That's not--

Eco: True? Yes it is....Otherwise you'd have been leading the charge to find Wilder, instead of hanging back. You don't belong there, Fire. I know it, and more importantly YOU know it. You just have to--

FW: And where do I belong then?

S: Is that why you're helping him? Because you think HE knows you best?

FW: No...there are other reasons....

S: Like what?

FW: Like reasons....but you know, THIS is what kind of sealed it.

S: That's your interview with the fitness magazine.

FW: Yep.

MN: Firewoman, you are such a feminist icon....

FW: Uh huh...

MN: No really...breaking into a tough and someone say brutal men's sport, and excelling, yet still, you have a softer side.

FW: .............as in....?

MN: Well, there's Alexander Darling currently, but John Ross Ewing, Chris Jericho, Chad Madison, rumors of a relationship with Tyson Kincaid.... you're devoted to your brother... some on our staff think you and Stank would make a good pairing--

FW: Stank is like a brother.

MN: Ah, so no interracial dating for you?

FW: What? No, that's not...look, what's your point?

MN: Just that you have this aura of a women who controls her own destiny, yet there seems to always be an important male voice in the picture.

FW: ....

MN: And, as you've matured, you seem to have been more accepting of this....balance maybe? I dunno....

FW: ......

MN: The role of the men in your life seems to have increased over time, and so--

S: Is this the longest break up in history?

FW: No...in fact, this last clip shows me two things. One, this thing with us *she points back and forth between the two of them*....we've been in each other's lives for a looooong time, Lucas.

S: Well, it's just...I, uh....I mean....

FW: And second, it put me in mind of this:

In a darkened room, Firewoman sits before a large oval mirror. There are creepy black candles lit, and Firewoman leafs through a WWE Divas magazine, in disgust.

"skinny....fake boobs.....can't wrestle....fake lips.....can't act.....no muscles at ALL....can barely walk and chew gum at the same time...NONE of these women deserve to be in this business....They can't wrestle worth a damn."

Firewoman looks into the mirror. "I've worked my whole life to hone my skills, to constantly be matched up against glorified Barbie dolls. Well, no more. I've had enough of wrestling failed swimsuit models and out of work strippers."

Firewoman holds the magazine over a candle flame. As it burns, she smiles. Once it is completely enflamed, she tosses it into a silver trash can and watches as it finally burns out.

"Now...it's time to go to work."

S: Your first promo. Damn if that didn't shake the place up.

FW: It did, didn't it. I see so much potential in that, potential I haven't reached yet.

S: What are you talking about? You're a Grand Slam winner, you may be the first Six Pack champion, even your brother hasn't done that. You've been a damn fine commissioner, you trained Miranda very well, you know the business in and out of the ring. And you manage all that despite being a little...off-center.

FW: *grinning* Is that what we're calling it now?

S: I'm serious, Fire. You HAVE done it all. *Stank grins.* Even your merchandise sales have almost caught up with mine.

FW: *playfully raising an eyebrown* ...Oh really? So I was also doing an audit of that, and it turns out that a bunch of stuff that got credited to you, was actually Dre Gaines's merchandise.

S: ....

FW:....

S: You're hilarious.

FW: *shrug* That's what happens when I let LD help with the bookkeeping.

S: Can we go watch the game now?

FW: In a minute. So there's this last one, that I keep replaying.

Stank scowls when he sees what it is, a match between Alexander Darling and Chad Madison.

S: Do I gotta watch this whole damn thing?

FW: It's about context. Bear with me.

ALEXANDER DARLING vs. CHAD MADISON – Non-Title Match

"Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" fires up and Chad Madison comes out with the face-cheers. He high five the men, and tips his hat to the ladies. Aw... "King of the World" plays and Alexander Darling comes out, holding hands with his wife who smiles at him, wearing her Royalty hoodie. The crowd boos. Alexander accuses them of wishing they were him as he makes his way down. He points to where Fire should stand and hands off his World Championship belt. He turns to Chad and removes his sunglasses handing them to Fire. Chad looks at Fire and just shakes his head. Fire doesn't care. The referee searches both men, and turns up a badly-hidden set of brass knuckles. Alexander shrugs fake-innocently, and the referee tosses them to Firewoman. Chad turns back to Alexander who NAILS him with a stiff right hand, and we are on!

Fairly rough Pier Two brawl breaks out between the two. Warnings a plenty are given out as the two men basically see how close to the edge of breaking the rules they can get. Madison gets the upper hand and whips Darling across the ring. He goes to follow but can't move as Firewoman has a hold of his foot. Chad looks down to kick his foot away, and doesn't see Darling rush him. Alex knocks him over the ropes with a big clothesline, but Chad recovers and lands on the apron. Fire grabs his foot again and Darling goes for the baseball slide...we've seen this before, kids. Wait! Matt Folz comes running down the ramp, and chases Fire away from the apron. The two of them brawl, and Folz tosses Fire hard into the stairs.

Meanwhile, Chad had dodged the baseball slide and leaps over the top rope to put the boots to Darling while he's down. He backs off when the referee tells him Darling is in the ropes, and Darling gets to his feet. Chad armdrags him over into an abdominal stretch. Alex flails about as best he can, but no dice. Chad seemlessly transitions to his feet and has Alex up and over with a dragon suplex. He goes for the pin, one...no! Fire has recovered from Folz's ambush and races around to the other edge, dragon Alex's foot to the rope. Folz follows her and the two of them go back to brawling. Chad attacks Alex again, but is driven off with a flurry of chops to the chest. He continues the onslaught (!!) and appears to be systematically trying to wear Madison down with suplexes and head drops. He tries for a pin, and one...two...NO! Alex yells something to Fire to stop goofing off with Folz. She glares, and then heads for the ramp, drawing Folz with her. With them racing up the ramp, Alex turns...right into SWEET CHIN MUSIC~! Alex drops and Chad follows up with a BIONIC ELBOW~! and the a cover, one...two...NO~!

In the back, Firewoman has introduced Folz to the wonders of a catering table...

Chad drags Alex over to the ringpost and hops out, wrappign the leg and putting Alex in a RINGPOST FIGURE FOUR~! Alex struggles to get out of the Figure Four. He looks around, and sees no back up. The referee starts to make the count...one...two...three...four...fi--NO! Chad breaks the hold at about 4.5. Alex rolls over in pain, as Chad comes back in the ring. Alex is limping around trying to get feeling back into his leg. Chad stalks him and then makes his move and Alex dodges. He trips up Chad and gets him in the position...CURBSTOMP~! He rolls Chad over, one, twoo..NO~! Alex drags him up by the hair as Fire comes running back down. Alex pulls Chad up by the hair, but Chad pushes him off and then goes for the SWEET CHIN MUSIC again, but NO!! Alex pulls the referee into the way. Down he goes. Chad smacks himself in the head and Alex calls out to Fire for the brass knuckles. She takes them out of her pocket, looks at them...at Chad...at Alex....And shakes her head....No!! The referee starts to stir, and Chad helps him up, but that's enough of a distraction. Alex glares back at Fire and then attacks setting up the DARLING DRIVER~! but NO! Chad wiggles around so that Alex can't keep him on his shoulders! Alex turns and Chad drives him back with stiff punches to the corner. He lifts him up then climbs....Alex gets to his feet on the ropes and pretty soon both men are exchanging punches up top. Chad graps Alex's waistband and SUPERPLEX~! He floats over and one...two...THREE~!

Chad rolls out of the ring, with a glance at a shocked Firewoman who isn't paying attention. Alex pulls himself up the ropes yelling at Chad, who merely smiles and gives him the 'Hook 'em Horns' hand signal.

Alexander turns and glares at Fire as she climbs into the ring. He starts to yell at her, along the lines of "What is wrong with you" and various other things. Fire appears to be trying to explain...and apologize...and then Alexander makes a comment about Fire's cowboy fetish. Apparently, the accusation of something inappropriate turns Fire's apologetic tone into one of anger. She storms over to the corner and demands a microphone from the production assistant, who smartly complies; Alexander grabs one from the other corner.

AD: Like I don't have enough on my plate with Fucking Folz, Wilder, and your adopted Williams family but I gotta deal with your drama too...I'm tired, Lisa...in or out just make a damn decision!!

FW: Alright ENOUGH!

Darling is somewhat take aback as Firewoman starts to pace a bit manically. Then she stops and walks up to him.

FW: I'm done.

AD: What? Done with what.

FW: With this. With Royalty. I can't....

Alexander looks at her, surprised.

FW: Alex....

AD: Just like that? We're through?

FW: No, not us....Look....

Fire pauses, swallows hard, and then sighs and continues.

FW: Do you remember, on the beach? We had our real wedding, real vows, real memories. We promised each other. We promised that this--

Firewoman makes a square in the air corresponding to the ring

FW: -- would never interfere with this.

Firewoman points back and forth between them.

FW: And...Alex, it's starting to. You can't deny it. And....look I know there are a very few things we try to keep off the cameras but ... I can't let Royalty destroy us. So... I'm leaving Royalty before it does. But not you....never you...I'm leaving because I love you and what we have is so much more important than Royalty--

AD: Fire...Lisa...Royalty is for us. It's what we've always wanted!

FW: No, Alex...I mean, yes but...if there's anything my little forced vacation taught me is....Alex, you're going down a road here that I can't follow...not unless I want to lose myself...and you in the process...and I'm not willing to risk it. So...

Firewoman starts to take off the Royalty hoodie.

AD: *shaking his head* You know what this means, right? You're on your own...We won't be bailing you out, watching your back....or holding back.

Fire stops and she glares.

FW: I do not now.....nor have I EVER....needed your help.

AD: Really...let's go down the list, shall we?

FW: We can do that but these people want to go home sometime this week. Yeah, you've bailed me out a bunch....but I have taken care of myself a lot too, and really, I'm just tired of using you as a crutch.

Alex looks ... well, words don't really describe it. There appears to be a smattering of cheers and applause from the crowd. Fire continues to remove her hoodie, and Alexander's shock turns to anger, as he sees her Saints of Sinners t-shirt underneath.

AD: I should have known.....

FW: What? Oh, no, it's not--

Fire is interrupted by Scarecrow's "Ministry" as Moosehead Jack walks down the ramp, all smiles. The crowd cheers turn to boos, as Moose slides into the ring. He smirks at Alexander before turning to Fire.

MHJ: Congratulations.

More boos as the crowd does not appreciate this turn.

AD: This doesn't concern you.

FW: Alex...Moose--

MHJ: Sister, you have always had a spot in the Saints, you know that. If you're ready,....WELCOME HOME.

AD: You really are digging your own grave, here, Fire.

MHJ: It's about time you came to your sense and dumped this--

Moose can't finish because Fire has popped him in the mouth.

FW: I love Alexander. Yeah, I said it again. I am not dumping him. I am leaving Royalty but it's not for YOU or for anyone else. It's for ME.

The crowd sort of turns back from boos to cheers.

FW: I know you don't understand it...I really hope you do someday. I hope you will be happy with Chloe, the way I am with Alex, and while you won't accept my decision, I promise I will accept yours, if it makes you happy.

FW: I knew you'd make a bee-line down here when you heard me leave Royalty. So I did wear this for you. But to do this.

Firewoman takes off her Saints T-shirt to reveal a plain black tank top underneath.

MHJ: I don't get--

FW: No, Moose, you don't. I'm not walking out of one stable to join another.

MHJ: Striking out on your...what's so funny?

Moose notices Alex laughing at him.

AD: You think she'd actually join up with you? Two nutjobs in the same locker room? No offense, dear...

FW: I--

MHJ: She was FINE until she married you.

FW: Guys--

AD: Not sure you're the best judge of that. You're a few diamonds short of a tiara most days yourself.

MHJ: Figures Richy Rich would bring diamonds into it.

AD: Oh, for Christ's sake is this high school? Get over the jealousy already. The fact is she chose me over you, and you can't stand it.

FW: Hey, can we--

Moose and Alex stop trading insults in the microphone and start yelling at each other, walking until they are nose to nose. We may be seeing the beginning of Moose v. Alex III here. Firewoman tries to intervene but they both take turns pushing her aside, which is NOT setting well, as you would expect. Finally, just as it looks like the two men are coming to blows, there is a primal scream that echoes through the building.

FW: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIGH!

Firewoman drops the microphone, and kicks both Alexander and Moosehead Jack in the gut. They double over and DOUBLE DDT!! The crowd roars its approval at this little turn of events, and Fire grabs the microphone and paces like a caged animal.

FW: I. HAVE HAD. ENOUGH!! All I hear day in day out..."The Firewoman I know is this." "The Firewoman I know is that." *leans over Alex* "The Firewoman I know does what I think she should" *leans over Alex* "The Firewoman I know does what *I* think she should" The Firewoman Mai knows... The Firewoman Chad knows...

Well, NONE of them know the Firewoman *I* know. And the Firewoman *I* know is DONE having people dictate what she does, who she fights, who she doesn't. The Firewoman *I* know is DONE with Royalty, DONE with Saints, DONE DONE DOOOOOOOONE!!!

More cheers. Firewoman looks around. Alex and Moose are getting to their feet.

FW: I'm tired of being what you want me to be, its time for me to be who I want.


FW: The two of you....you are SO much alike....You can't even see it. You know, this could have been the greatest team in the history of wrestling, but you two couldn't even put your differences aside for MY sake...Hell, you couldn't get it together to give me a damn memorial show. In fact, the only thing you COULD work together on was breaking the ONE PROMISE you both made....

AD: Fire....

MHJ: You were out of control.

FW: Out of control? I've spent half my life out of control. No, Moose, YOU drugged me. YOU did. Because I "lied to you." Never mind that time after time after time you made friends and allies out of people who had caused me real actual physical harm. And keep doing it.

Moose starts to protest, but Fire turns her attention away from him, to Alex.

FW: And YOU--

AD: Fire, you--

FW: Yeah, yeah, I heard you. My choices, my decisions. Lecturing me about using and misleading you....all the while pouting over Alexis turning on you...but wait! She didn't, did she. You were lying to me about that all along, planning Royalty long before I started gaslighting Chloe. Was the hypocrisy getting too inconvenient for you?

Alex starts to answer, but Fire pulls the "Talk to the Hand."

FW: And then you both talk me into that plan...and I get to take the fall....the whole company gets to hate ME, while you two go merrily about your business. Well...I'm through. Build your armies, make your allies, whatever it is you gotta do. But you're doing it without me.

Fire pipe-bomb drops her microphone and starts to roll out of the ring as her music plays. Moose and Alex watch her go, and then realize they are in the ring together....they each get a grin but before they can move, Saints and Royalty members come rushing down and separate them, with LD Williams standing right in front of Alexander Darling. Darling just smirks and allows Royalty to escort him from the ring first. Once they are up the ramp, Moosehead Jack and the Saints follow.

S: *frustrated* Woman, if this walk down memory lane is to remind me how you don't think you <df>"do stables well"</df> I get it.  Watching you declare your love for that asshole is not something I need to see to know that.

FW: No, you don't. Look, I've not forgiven either of them for my time away. It ruined my marriage, despite what I said there, I LET IT do that....and it will always be between me and Moose.  But each in their own way, put the work, the stable, their ambition, and their animosity first.  And I'm sure one or both will both talk about me still whining about this, but that isn't what this is about. It's about context. I stood on my own that day and the days after that, but that's ... it's faded away over time, but.....

Fire's voice fades away and she stares off into the distance. Another awkward pause.

S: Woman...

FW: I would be traitor to myself if I didn't finish what I set out to do.

S: Which is what?

Fire doesn't answer at first, instead still looking out at the horizon.  There are storm clouds brewing and a flash of lightning, far in the distance, heralds the thunder that comes in shortly thereafter. She turns and looks at Stank.

FW:  I don't trust easily. 

S: No shit.

FW: I need to know that you will NOT do that. You won't put me--

S: Woman, I would do anything I thought that would be best for your health, mental, physical, or otherwise, and while I may not have thought that THEN was the right time, if it were up to me and it WAS about saving--

FW: Huh? No, no....not that. I meant....That you won't put me second.  Even if I do crazy things that don't make sense.

S: ....

FW: ....

S: .....

Fire looks at her watch.

S: I--

FW: Don't answer now.  You can give it on November 7.

Fire leans in for a kiss and Stank obliges, and then she walks away. He follows after a bit to go watch the game or something, I can't figure out how to end this....

[Leo]

"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet sits at a Hooters in Dover, Delaware, and watches the Sunday Night Football game on a big screen behind the bar. Mac Flasher walks in and sits down next to him.

MF: I wouldn't picture you enjoying a place like this.

JB: Food is pretty good, I like their sauces. The service is always fast and the waitresses are really nice. It's not a strip club.

Bullet takes a drink from his tall beer.

JB: Does Bridget O'Malley like you coming in here?

MF: She knows why I'm here and I promised I'd bring her some wings back to the hotel. We toured a screen door factory today, she's happy.



JB: And why are you here?

Flasher orders a tall beer himself and then turns to Bullet.

MF: For this...

Flasher extends his hand. Jack considers it for a long moment.

MF: Look, Jack, I got a little hot headed on Wednesday. Being around Moosehead Jack just does that to me. What do you say, 'don't stand on the tracks when the Bullet Train of Pain is coming through?' That's how I feel when Moosehead is around. If I have a choice of facing him or you at Hell on Earth for the OOWF World Title I'd rather it'd be you. Not because I feel you're an easier opponent, but because I feel you're a more honorable one.

Bullet looks at the hand again, then takes it.

JB: What I said was true. You have my back this week and I'll have yours, but that doesn't mean I will take it easy on you at Hell on Earth or bow out of the match.

MF: Hey, not everything has to be a blood feud between two people who hate each other. We can have a friendly match and in my mind that makes everyone winners...except Moosehead Jack.

JB: Stop stealing my catchphrases.

MF: If there is another thing we can agree on it's probably this, we're happy Matt Folz is probably hating this game right now.

JB: True that.

A beer is set down in front of Flasher. He and Jack clank them together and then watch the screen with the Bears ahead of the Packers 10-0 as the second quarter winds down. FADE.

[Jack Quinn]

<Jack and Mac are finishing up the game, just sitting chatting while they finish their wings or whatever it is faces do when Moose and Stank walk up to the table. Moose smirks and lights a cigar>

MHJ: Well, what do we have here

<Jack and Mac get to their feet, ready for a fight>

MHJ: Should we give them a warm up match Lucas?

Sta: Let's see how good a team they really are

<a family with a couple of kids go by, rushing to get out of the place before violence erupts. Why are children in a Hooters? It's Delaware>

JB: We can do this......outside

MHJ: Well if it ain't Jack the family man. Truth is, we didn't come to fight, we came for the wings as well <Stank holds up a large to-go bag> I just saw your promo and I think you two are forgetting one little thing.

Mac: What's that?

MHJ: Well, as you said, last week was a de-facto number one contenders match.......now, I know I've been in the OOWF a long time, and I have taken more than a few shots to the head, so could you refresh me one more time, who won that match?

Mac: <bristling> you did

MHJ: So.....that means WHO is the number one contender right now?

Mac: <grabbing the table to keep from lashing out at Moose> YOU are

MHJ: Uh huh, I see <looking at Bullet> and you........seems like you owe me for getting your suspension lifted, you wouldn't be demanding title shots if you were still suspended, would you

JB: What's your game Moose?

MHJ: <blowing smoke in their faces> my game is whatever the fuck I want it to be. The real game right now is seeing if you two can figure it out

<a brave waitress approaches Moose>

ABW: Sir, you cannot smoke in here!

MHJ: <smirking and dropping his cigar in Mac's glass> We were just leaving

<Moose and Stank head to the door, Moose lights another cigar just before he leaves, and we fade>

[snelson66]

FADE in to a hotel suite Sunday night. Finishing up their Buffalo Wild Wings (which are much better than Hooters wings are), are Mai Muyo, Jamie Folz, Stan Fulton and a very smug looking Matt Folz.

SF: “Seriously, how does Aaron Rodgers move with that horseshoe lodged up his ass?”

MF: “Talent. Pure, best-in-the-world Talent. That’s with a capital T.”

MM: “Can someone explain something to me?”

JF: “Sure.”

MM: “Why did Chicago lay down and die at halftime?”

SF: “Exactly.”

JF: “They did seem to stop playing once Rodgers got hurt.”

SF: “You’d better hope Rodgers doesn’t have a torn MCL or something. If he can’t move next week, Anthony Barr has another loving hug to provide.”

MM: “Wait until his adrenaline wears off. He’ll be on crutches.”

...

SF: “We should probably make this about our match this week.”

MF: “OK.”

Folz turns towards the cameras.

MF: “Briscoes! You’re no match for the greatest tag team going today.”

SF: “You’re in our house now, boys. And you will enjoy the pain.”

Folz looks at Fulton.

MF: “You’re breaking out that old chestnut?”

SF: “I’m trying to sneak into the Catchphrase of the Year nominations. You’re a lock for Wrestler of the Year and we have a good shot at Tag Team of the Year. There’s not much else for which I can compete.”

MM: “What about... naw.”

SF: “See?”

MF: “Alright. Say it again.”

SF: “Enjoy the pain.”

MF: “Happy?”

SF: “I’m not unhappy.”

FADE

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman is getting ready when she turns a corner and runs face first into Mai Mayo.

FW: Great, the other one.

MM: I wish I was facing you in that ring.

FW: Well, it can't be because you think your brother is better than me, although he's better than you.

MM: No, I just want to settle our differences once and for all.

FW: We settled them. As soon as your turned your back on Juni and joined the Saints against him, we were settled.

Mai starts to reply but a shadow falls over them both, as Moosehead Jack joins the fun. No words are said, but the glares between Fire and him speak volumes. He puts a hand on Mai's shoulder and the two of them walk away, as Junichiro Muyo walks up.

JM: I can't believe she chose....him.

FW: Then you do the only thing you can.

JM: What's that?

FW: .....WIN.

FADE

[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#878)
Live! From Dover, Delaware
September 12, 2018

BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE vs. THE DARLINGS

The Darlings are announced and their elaborate entrance begins. The crowd cheers them halfheartedly. Alex and Alexis wait in their corner while “Insane in the Brain” plays and BFE makes their way to the ring. The boys get a HUGE pop from the crowd as they, and Eliie May make their way down the ramp. Justin and Bill step into the ring and the referee calls for the bell.

Lexie and Justin start things off, they feel one another out for a moment, then Justin takes Lexie to the mat with a snapmare, she gets right to her feet and ducks a spinning heel kick from Justin, then grabs him and throws him to the ropes and tries a hiptoss on the rebound, but Justin flips out of it and takes Lexie to the mat with an armdrag. Lexie is quickly back to her feet into a neutral corner, Justin charges, but Lexie moves and Justin slams chest first into the turnbuckle and staggers backward. Lexie makes the quick tag to Alex, then lifts Justin from behind, Alex races down the apron and climbs the ropes, leaps and he hits Justin with a flying knee to the face. Justin spins to the mat and lands hard, Alex covers, but Justin kicks out at two.

The Darlings take over and Justin plays the part of Ricky Morton for the next few minutes, being beaten into a find powder by the Darlings. Justin gets a brief comeback on Alex when Alex tries a superplex, Justin fights free and headbutts Alex until he falls to the match. Justin climbs to the top rope and is going to try a warrior stomp, but Alexis runs down the apron and grabs his leg, causing him to fall and crotch himself on the top rope. Alex gets back to his feet and hits the suplerplex, then rolls through to his feet and makes an arrogant one foot cover. Justin rolls his shoulder at two and Alex just smirks.

The assault continues some more until Justin frees himself from a double team by clotheslining Alex over the top rope and catching Lexie – the legal Darling – with a STUNNER! Alexis hits the mat and Justin slowly, painfully and with the crowd roaring their support, crawls across the mat and finally makes the tag to Bill!

The place blows as Bill comes into the ring and grabs Alexis and sends her to the ropes and hits a big back body drop. Alex comes back into the ring and gets a back body drop of his own. Bill grabs the Darlings, DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Alex falls back out of the ring while Lexie staggers around in a daze. Bill climbs the ropes and hits the MASON DIXON LINE, he grabs Lexie to pull her to her feet and she hits a low blow and rolls Bill into an inside cradle, one…..two…….NO! Justin runs in and rolls it the other way, one…..two……NO! Lexie kicks out! They break, and as both spin to their feet, Lexie rakes Bills eyes and tries to lift him for a DARLING DRIVER, but Bill slips off her shoulders and grabs her from behind in the CUYLER CLUTCH! Bill falls to the mat, trapping Alexis in the hold, Alex charges into the ring, but Jusin flies in from seemingly nowhere and catches Alex with a HURRACARANA! Alex falls out of the ring and Justin leaps over the top rope, landing on Alex and keeping him out of the ring. Alexis is trying for the ropes, but Bill cinches in the move a little harder, and Lexie fades! The referee calls for the bell, this one is over!
WINNERS in 17:11 – Banned From Everywhere

After the match Justin and Bill celebrate, but the Darlings aren’t done. Alex slides back into the ring with a chair and SLAMS it across the back of Justin and Bill’s heads! The crowd boos as BFE lies on the mat. Alex helps his sister up and she grabs Justin while Alex grabs Bill and they each hit Darling Drivers! They stand over the prone BFE and celebrate as the crowd rains boos down on them. EMT’s hit the ring to check on Bill and Justin, Alex and Alexis just turn their noses up at the whole situation and walk away.

MAI MUYO vs. ECOSYSTEM

Eco’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring, the fans are coming around on him and a “CEO! CEO!” chant starts. Juni waves to the crowd, then paces the ring like a wild animal. He stops dead in his tracks when “Scarecrow” plays. Eco stares up the ramp, then quickly checks the crowd expecting Moose to attack. The crowd starts to boo, and we see why. Mai comes out to the top of the ramp, wearing Moose’s leather jacket, standing with her arms spread in the Christ pose. Mai slowly makes her way to the ring and rolls under the bottom rope and slumps in the corner. Juni just stares at his sister, stunned.

The bell rings and Mai gets to her feet and walks to the middle of the ring and looks dead in her brother’s eyes, then slaps the taste out of his mouth. Eco just stares at her, so she does it again. Eco glares at his sister, so one more time right across the face. This time Eco slaps his sister across the face, and the crowd ERUPTS. Eco and Mai go at it, hammering one another with punches and kicks, then rolling around on the mat trading more punches.

The match spills out of the ring and the two of them brawl around ringside with neither keeping the advantage for long. At one point Mai tries to suplex Eco onto the Finnish announce table, but Eco blocks it and backdrops Mai onto the table, then climbs the ropes and hits a flying elbow that DRIVES Mai through the table! Eco pulls Mai up and rolls her into the ring and covers, but Mai kicks out at two.

The end comes when Eco tries to whip Mai from one corner to the other, but it appears she rolls her ankle! Mai collapses to the mat and grabs her right ankle in pain. If you remember correctly, Mai’s ankles are her Achilles thanks to her brother breaking both of them. Mai wails in pain and Eco immediately stops the attack and a look of pure concern crosses his face. He walks over to check on Mai, pushing the referee away. As he gets close, Mai NAILS him with a LOW BLOW and immediately kips to her feet! The crowd boos the holy shit out of this. Mai grabs Eco and hits the ENDGAME! Mai covers, one…..two…….THREE!
WINNER in 20:08 – Mai Muyo

Mai bails out of the ring as Eco gets to his knees, holding the family jewels and looking a mix of devastated and angry. Mai smirks and slowly backs up the ramp. While he is watching Mai, Eco never sees Moose slide into the ring behind him. As Eco stands up and turns around, Moose launches himself and KILLS Eco with a Buisaku knee to the face. Moose grabs Eco and lifts him for a GTSF, but the crowd roars as Fire races to the ring, shoving Mai as she passes, carrying a strap! Fire lands a good shot across Moose’s back causing him to drop Eco and dive out of the ring just as Mai gets there to even the odds. Mai keeps Moose from going back into the ring as he and Fire glare at one another. Eco gets to his feet and keeps Fire from diving over the ropes at Moose

KYLIE MIGNOLIO vs. ZED

“Hero” by Nickelback draws out Zed – and BRICK~! – to a reaction that wasn’t the cheeriest from Dover’s sect of the OOWF fanbase. BRICK~! is willing to pick verbal fights with just about anyone who will engage while Zed jogs to and rolls into the ring, stretching on the ropes with “Jaded” hitting and Kylie Mignolio appearing to a raucous ovation. Kylie basks in the “JO-SIE! JO-SIE!” chants before heading to the ring, looking Zed in the eye – while standing on the middle rope – before flipping into the ring and saluting her fans.

“Junior” Hale calls for the bell to start the match as Zed denies Kylie a tie-up, opting to lift and carry her to a corner where he places her in a seated position on the top turnbuckle with little strain. Zed smirks as he turns away, unaware that Kylie is now standing on the top turnbuckle. As Zed turns around, he gets two boots to the face from Kylie’s missile dropkick. Zed rolls out of the ring, but heads back in the second that Kylie follows him. Zed greets the returning Kylie with a knee to the gut and a butterfly suplex that gets 1. Zed stays on the attack with a series of stomps to Kylie’s back and shoulders. Zed then lifts Kylie to a standing position before a lariat gets 1 as Kylie puts her foot on the ropes. Zed pulls Kylie to the center of the ring and gets rolled into a small package that gets 1 before Zed escapes and slams Kylie’s head to the canvas. Hale interjects, citing Zed’s use of Kylie’s hair as enough of a reason to get involved. Zed brushes off Hale’s warning and walks right into a superkick. That’s enough to get Kylie on the offensive with quick-hitting offense that has Zed guessing wrong on where to block or duck or really anything. BRICK~! pulls a woozy Zed from the ring just as Kylie had started to run the ropes for a running knee strike.

With Zed taking a powder, Kylie starts to get the crowd behind her with a clap that increases its tempo with a few anti-Zed chants spliced in for good measure, all before Kylie teases a tope con hilo. It was convincing enough to send BRICK~! and Zed up the ramp, all while Kylie lay across the top rope and waves mockingly to Zed as Hale’s count hits 5. Zed teases a pair of returns, before requesting that Hale hold Kylie back before reentering the ring. Hale balks at the request, threatening to declare Kylie the winner in about 2 seconds. Zed scrambles into the ring and into a crossbody that gets 2. Zed muscles Kylie into the ropes and chops her in the throat, concealing the impact spot from Hale. That chop is followed by a jab – also to the throat – as Kylie falls to her knees. Zed tosses up a middle finger to Dover’s fans before BRICK~! leads a mock “JO-SIE!” chant, that actually gets some momentum while Zed has Kylie locked in a nerve hold. Kylie tries to fight out before Zed adds his other hand for more leverage on the affected area. Kylie starts to fade with Hale checking for a submission or passout. Hale opts for the three-drop method as Kylie is barely responsive at this point. Getting two drops with relative ease before Kylie’s arm shoots up on the third drop. Zed clamps harder before Kylie fights her way to a knee. Then her feet. Then an elbow to the gut. Then an inadvertent elbow to his groin as he tried to jump out of the way of a second elbow, dropping Zed immediately in a heap.

Russ: “As accidental as they’ll come, but also as effective as they come. That elbow may swing the tide of this match.”
Razz: “… To a tainted win for Kylie Mignolio. Zed would be within his right to file a protest if Kylie wins off of that.”

Hale checks on Zed while BRICK~! jumps onto the apron to express his displeasure in Kylie’s elbow antics. While Kylie is insistent that the elbow was accidental, BRICK~! maintains the argument fiercely for the exact amount of time that it took Zed to stand up and drill Kylie in the back of the head with a discus elbow. Zed falls on top of the dazed Kylie, getting 3 with the assistance of some nearby ropes, despite Kylie’s struggles to get out.

Your winner (pinfall, 10:58) Zed!

Zed rolls from the ring, still walking a bit funny from the low blow, but totally well enough to mock Kylie and anyone else within shouting distance. Kylie shows the shaking ropes to Hale, but to no avail as the official won’t even look at the OOWFTron replay of Zed clearly draping his boots across the ropes. Kylie kicks the ropes in frustration, while shouting “THIEF!” at Hale before the feed jumps to Zed and BRICK~! in a mock crying gesture atop the ramp.

MAC FLASHER & JACK BULLET vs. BEER MONEY

Mike Elevenbee stands in the ring with a general crowd noise behind him.

ME: Our next match is a tag team bout. First introducing at a combined weight of 445 pounds and escorted to the ring by the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth; Skurge and SYB, Beer Money.

“Juliette” by Hollerado plays the two heels to the ring. SYB jaws at the fans and flips them off as they boo. Skurge walks fairly calmly to the ring with Mantooth on his arm.

ME: And their challengers, introducing first from Des Moines, Iowa, at a weight of 210 pounds; “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet, Man of Action.

“Strangehold” by Ted Nugent plays and Bullet emerges from the back in his all black outfit and slicked back hair. The fan reaction for him is plenty strong and positive as he’s facing Beer Money. Bullet gets to the outside ring area and stops. SYB stands on the bottom rope and leans over the top strand jawing at Bullet. Jack points at SYB and tells him he’ll get his.

ME: And his partner, weighing in at 225 pounds from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he is the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Mac Flasher.

The crowd pops huge for Flasher, who slaps hands on his way to the ring as “I Get Wet” by Andrew W.K. plays. He stops at ringside and stands next to Bullet. They turn and face each other. The crowd calms. Flasher extends a hand to Bullet. It hangs in the air a moment. Bullet then takes it and gives it one firm shake. The crowd roars.

Russ: There you have it, the World Champion and his most likely challenger at Hell on Earth on the same page, at least for tonight against Beer Money.
Razz: This is hardly the Mega Powers we’re talking about here.

Bullet gestures for Flasher to start, but Mac insists that Jack goes in. He bows graciously and takes the ring against Skurge. Referee Junior Hale calls for the bell. Skurge and Bullet lockup in the middle of the ring.

Skurge uses his height and weight advantage to shove Bullet out of the lockup and down to the canvas. Jack rolls backwards, up to his feet and into the ropes. He runs toward Skurge, who tries a clothesline, but Jack runs under his outstretched arm. Bullet hits the opposite ropes and comes off with a flying crossbody. Skurge catches Jack, and drops him across the knee for a backbreaker.

He holds onto Bullet, stands, slings Jack over his shoulder and runs to the corner for a Snake Eyes. Bullet slides off Skurge’s shoulder and he posts himself. Skurge bounces out of the corner and Jack collars him from behind on the run. He tries to turn Skurge around for a tornado bulldog, but Skurge controls, drops Jack with a reverse atomic drop and then takes him down with a standing clothesline to the back of the head.

Skurge reaches over and tags SYB. SYB vaults into the ring over the top rope, but almost trips. He drops onto Bullet for a cover. He kicks out at two. SYB paint brushes Bullet with slaps. Jack pushes SYB off, he scurries to his corner and tags Skurge again. Bullet scoots across the ring and Skurge stalks forward, but not before a tag to Flasher for a loud pop from the crowd.

Russ: We’re seeing a lot of the usual from Beer Money. While they’re a longtime tag team, one shouldn’t forget this isn’t the first time Flasher and Bullet have been partners.
Razz: A cup of coffee as a tag team means nothing to the long-haul buffet chow down of tag teaming Beer Money has under their belts. And let’s not forget the leadership of the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth.

Flasher and Skurge lockup and the champ is able to give Skurge a little bit more to deal with than Bullet in the size and strength department. As Skurge starts to lose the matchup, he rolls his left shoulder into Mac to close the gap and fires a knee to the gut. Flasher doubles over. Skurge hooks Mac up and suplexes him. Skurge holds Flasher up for as long as he can and then falls backwards. He pulls Mac up, hooks him by the waist, flips him up and tosses him casually into the near corner for a turnbuckle bomb. Flasher slumps there. Skurge rushes in with a back elbow. Mac slumps further. Skurge tags out to SYB.

SYB runs into Flasher and lays into him with a flurry of kicks and punches that don’t seem to be doing much damage. Flasher shoves SYB to get him away. SYB falls to the mat, flops like a fish and tags Skurge. He comes in with his hands up high for a double axe handle. Mac drops to one knee and punches Skurge in the gut. Skurge doubles up. Flasher follows with a rising knee lift to the face. He locks in an armbar and pulls Skurge over to his corner. Flasher tags Bullet. Jack climbs to the top rope and comes in with a double axe handle to the outstretched arm. Flasher takes the apron as Bullet works an arm wringer.

Russ: Amazing tag team work by Bullet and Flasher.
Razz: Yay, they can perform an introductory move out of the Hart Foundation playbook. Give them a gold star.

Bullet presses Skurge into the ropes and slings him off to the opposite strands. Jack tries a dropkick, but Skurge holds onto the ropes with his arms and Jack whiffs. Bullet tries to get to his feet fast, but Skurge lunges forward with a big boot to the face. Skurge tags SYB, picks him up over the top, presses him over his head and then drops him on top of Bullet with a splash. One…two…Bullet kicks out. Hale tells Skurge to get out of the ring and, while doing that, SYB pokes a thumb in Bullet’s eye for a chorus of boos.

Russ: If it wasn’t for cheap tactics, SYB wouldn’t have any moves at all.
Razz: Whatever gets the win, gets the win.

Hale comes back over to SYB, who complains about Bullet pulling his hair, even though, Jack is rolling around on the mat covering his eye. Jack rolls near the ropes. SYB takes the top rope in his hands and lays in the kicks to Jack. Hale tells SYB to get off the ropes and he complains of hair pulling again, even though Bullet is laying on the mat.

SYB pulls Jack up and across the ropes. He chops him very weakly. He awaits a ‘woo’ from the crowd that doesn’t come. Bullet fires back with a chop that does get a ‘woo’ and a Marty Jannetty flip sale from SYB. SYB backs away, begs off and complains about hair pulling again. Bullet stands over him with a balled up fist. Hale tries to get in between the two, allowing Skurge to come in and drill Bullet from behind.

Flasher enters and SYB points and yells. Hale gets to the champ and tells him to take the apron. SYB slaps his hands together to sound like a tag and then takes the apron while Skurge stomps away on Bullet.

Razz: Now that is some amazing, classic tag team wrestling right there.
Russ: For everything SYB might lack as a wrestler, he more than makes up for as a master manipulator and cheap shot artist.
Razz: He would probably take that as a compliment.

Skurge picks Bullet by the waist and falls back with a backdrop suplex. He pulls Bullet up and onto his shoulder. He tries for the Snake Eyes again, this time walking slowly to the corner to make sure he still has Jack in control. Skurge drops him into the top turnbuckle. He grabs Bullet around the waist as he bounces back. In one crisp motion, he slings Bullet over and down with a German suplex. He bridges for a pin attempt, but can’t hold it. They fall to the side.

However, Skurge keeps hold of the waistlock and brings Bullet up by it. He tries to struggle out. SYB climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off sloppily with a double axe handle to Bullet’s head. Hale tells him to get back. SYB points and yells that Flasher is coming in. Hale turns and sees Mac standing on the apron. SYB kneels and punches Jack in the groin. Skurge lets Bullet fall to the mat. SYB takes the apron, asks for the legal tag and gets it.

Russ: There is no denying that Beer Money is taking over this encounter and is firmly in the driver’s seat.
Razz: Again, classic tag team wrestling. Isolate one man and make him pay for it…in his balls.

SYB drives several knees to Bullet’s back. He covers for two. He pulls Bullet up, measures him and hits a standing dropkick. Jack goes down. SYB celebrates like he won the Super Bowl. Skurge and Mantooth clap in appreciation. SYB tags back out. Skurge returns with a fist drop. He pulls Bullet up and goes for the Executioner Cobra Clutch. Before locking it in, Bullet pulls Skurge to the near corner, runs up it and flips over Skurge’s back. He pushes Skurge into the corner and slings him back with an O’Connor Roll for a pin attempt. Skurge easily kicks out and makes his feet first.

He kicks Bullet to keep him down, then drops a knee. He pulls Jack up, spins him upside down and drops him with a shoulder breaker. He pulls Bullet up and fires him into the ropes. Jack ducks a clothesline, comes off the other side and goes for a vertical splash. Skurge goes low to take Bullet around the waist and drops him over the top ropes with a hotshot. Bullet falls to the mat holding his throat. Skurge pulls Jack up with his head under his arm and scores a swinging neckbreaker. He covers, but Jack gets his foot on the ropes after two.

Russ: Jack Bullet is really taking a beating and needs to tag his partner.
Razz: And SYB could go to the back and start sipping the champagne while Skurge finishes this up.

Skurge pulls Bullet up and has him around the waist while facing the opposite direction. He nails a gutwrench suplex. This throws Jack into the heel corner and Skurge tags SYB again. SYB scurries into the ring and on top of Bullet for a series of punches and knees. He covers for two. He covers for two again. SYB is frustrated. He leans over to tag Skurge…but finds he’s finger tips away. Jack has him by the trunks and rolls him over for a pin. The crowd pops, but Bullet can’t hold on and SYB kicks out. However, Bullet falls backwards out of the kickout into his corner and tags Flasher. The crowd goes nuclear.

Flasher runs in, picks up SYB and throws him into the ropes. He comes off and into a power slam. Skurge rushes in and straight into a belly to belly suplex that sends him skidding across the mat to the floor. Mac picks up SYB and lifts him straight up into the air. While holding the light man with one arm, he tags Jack Bullet. Bullet comes off the top rope and spikes the Flash Drive. Bullet readies for Skurge to come in just in case as Hale counts the one, two, three.
ME: Your winners at 10:32, Mac Flasher and Jack Bullet.

Russ: That is great to see…
Razz: Says you.
Russ: I mean two men who are destined to collide for the world title at some point, coming together to get the job done here tonight against the established team of Beer Money.

Bullet takes Flasher’s arm and raises it in victory. The crowd cheers. SYB rolls to the floor and Mantooth checks on her guys as we fade to break.

SHIZURU vs. GHOSTHEAD – Street Fight

Shizuru is announced first and………nothing. He is announced a second time, and also nothing. The camera cuts to the back and we see Shizuru carrying his bag toward the car with Shannon following. They get to his car and Shizuru pops the trunk and throws his bag in, then turns and looks at Shannon

Shannon: You’re doing the right thing, Ghost is a maniac, you are a champion, you should never have been forced into this match.
Shizuru: Shizuru is no coward…..
Shannon: You’re not a coward baby. <Shannon kisses him on the cheek> you are a champion, and whoever says it is cowardly to avoid getting killed is a fool
Shizuru: I am so glad to hear you say that……….Shizuru forgot onslaught championship in Destroyitarium, could you………
Shannon: Of course baby

She kisses him on the cheek and takes off back toward the arena. Shizuru stands there for a moment watching her go, and absentmindedly shuts the trunk of the car. We see Ghosthead standing there, Shizuru has not. He turns to head to the drivers side and sees Ghost. Ghost, who now has a chair, brings the chair down HARD on Shizuru’s head, Shizuru hits the ground and barely moves. Ghost stands over him, then pulls him to his feet and hits the LAST NAIL sending Shizuru’s head into the glass! The shield spiderwebs and when Ghost pulls Shizuru’s head back, he is bleeding horribly.

We cut to Shannon, as she comes out of the Destroyitarium with the onslaught championship. The camera follows her back to the parking lot, and we see her stop and stare. The camera pans around and we see Shizuru lying on his back on the car, bleeding from seemingly everywhere. Ghost is sitting on the roof of the car in full lotus, seemingly deep in meditation

GH: I wanted you to see this
SM: This is meant to scare me?
GH: Don’t be foolish. This is meant to show you that you made the wrong choice

<Ghost puts his foot on Shizuru without opening his eyes and the referee quickly counts three>
WINNER in 6:44 – Ghosthead

Ghost gets off the car as medics rush in to check on Shizuru. Ghost walks up to Shannon and stares at her stoically

SM: Husband, if that is the message you send, you still don’t understand the problem

Shannon walks over to Shizuru and comforts him. Ghost takes a deep breath and heads to the back.

MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. FIREWOMAN – Strap Match

Russ: So, for those of you who don’t have the OOWF News Ap, or OOWFtv (only $6.66 a month!) you may not know that there was a huge backstage altercation between Moosehead Jack and Firewoman just before the show. Now, I know a fight between the Quinns is barely news anymore, but this one was something completely different
Razz: Was it a dispute over which of them is more disturbed in the head?
Russ: No, this was about who enters the ring…….last
Razz: WHAT?
Russ: Evidently, the Quinns are the only people to figure that whoever enters the ring last for a strap match is at a disadvantage because they are vulnerable to attack as they step into the ring
Razz: Well, aren’t they supposed to be strapped together and touch all four corners?
Russ: That is traditionally how a strap match goes, but the higher ups figured there was no way Fire or Moose were going to follow that many rules anyway
Razz: So…….they just both have straps?
Russ: Yes
Razz: And someone thought this was a GOOD idea?
Russ: Yes. So now, they will each come to the ring and wait outside the ring. As soon as the bell rings, they can enter the ring and the match begins.

So, both are announced and come out, they glare at one another from across the ring. The bell rings and both dart into the ring, Fire, being a little younger and having taken the last 3 years off, is a little faster and brings the strap down across Moose’s head as he gets into the ring. Moose howls in pain and swings his strap and catches Fire right across the ribs. This quickly turns into a hockey fight, only with leather straps, as the siblings take turn whipping the ever loving shit out of one another, with neither taking a step back. They are already both bleeding from welts. Moose stops swinging for a moment and catches Fire with a left hook, then wraps his strap around his wrist. Fire, staggered a step by the shot to the jaw, does the same and they go at one another again throwing punches, and soon enough both are busted open.

Razz: This is……….I am a little uncomfortable with this
Russ: There is a lot of pent up frustration coming out here, I would guess this would have made Dr. Freedman a WHOLE lot of money

The fight spills out of the ring and the two hit one another with everything nailed down. Both of them crash through tables and get slammed to the floor repeatedly. It’s not that they are no-selling each others stuff, it’s just……neither will allow themselves to show they are in pain.

Russ: They’re going to kill one another!
Razz: Well, this is not exactly Blood Pond

As Razz says that, Moose slams Fire face first into the ring post, she staggers backward and Moose charges for a buisaku knee, but Fire falls and Moose clips the top of the guardrail and flips over and lands face first onto the concrete floor. Fire reaches over the guardrail to pull Moose up and Mai races to the ring and grabs a strap from the floor and NAILS Fire right across the back! Fire howls in pain and turns around to face Mai and nearly gets her head kicked off. Mai tries to whip Fire into the apron, but Fire springs to the apron then turns and dives on Mai and the two of them start throwing punches. Moose starts to climb over the guardrail when Eco races down the ramp and tackles Moose just as he clears the guardrail and they begin to fight. The referee has no choice, he waves to the back and calls the match.
WINNER – No Contest in 22:11

The locker room empties as people try to pull Eco and Fire off of Moose and Mai. It takes Lucas picking Fire up and carrying her part way up the ramp before the situation is at least partially defused. Mai grabs a chair and throws it at her brother, clipping his shoulder. The fight starts again for a moment before the four are finally pulled apart and ushered to the back.

THE BRISCOES vs. THE SAINTS OF SINNERS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

The Delaware crowd goes crazy as "Gimme Back My Bullets" plays and local boys The Briscoe Brothers make their way to the ring. They warm up as "Laser Cannon Deth Sentence" brings out your OOWF Tag Team Champions Matt Folz and Stan Fulton. Matt and Stan hand their Championships to the referee as Mike Elevenbee starts the big match introductions.

ME: This match is for the OOWF World Tag Team Championships. Introducing first the challengers: Standing 6'1 and weighing 231 pounds from Laurel Delaware Jay Briscoe! And his tag team partner also from Laurel Delaware 6'0 and 229 pounds Mark Briscoe! (Big pop from the crowd)

And introducing their opponents, the reigning and defending OOWF World Tag Team Champions. Standing 6'5 and weighing 225 pounds, hailing from Green Bay Wisconsin Matt Folz! And his tag team partner 5'11 and 367 pounds from Duluth Minnesota (Did I get it right this time partner? ) Stan "The Crusher" Fulton.

Matt and Jay start out, and Jay gets the early advantage. Matt backs into a neutral corner and Jay hesitates, which allows Stan to come in with a cheap shot from behind. This brings Mark in and he and Stan begin to brawl. While the referee is trying to get them out of the ring Matt pulls something out of his tights and nails Jay with a big right hand. Matt throws the brass knuckles out of the ring and covers as the referee turns around. 1...2...3.

Winners (Pinfall, :25) and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions Matt Folz and Stan Fulton

The crowd boos the hell out of this but the referee's decision is final. Matt smirks as he grabs a microphone.

Matt: Work smarter not harder, isn't that right Eco? (Laughing) You've failed at every opportunity to get these Championships off us. Texpress couldn't do it, Beer Money can't do it, Banned From Everywhere can't. The Darlings? Don't make me laugh. I'll tell you what Eco, next week you pick any two people in the history of this company, it doesn't matter who. We'll issue an open challenge and kick their ass just like everyone else. We'll keep these belts for as damn well long as we want to.

BRIDGET O’MALLEY vs. STANK – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

Bridget enters the ring, many cheers for the underdog. Stank makes his entrance as well, with the boos. He holds his IC Belt high, out of Bridget's reach, punctuating the symbolism with a statement telling Bridget she's reach above her weight class...which is kind of hilarious, when you think about it. We don't have time for that, though, as the referee goes through the motions and calls for the bell.

Stank has the early advantage and uses it, attempt to plant Bridget multiple times through the canvas, but each time she bounces back up and rushes him again. She dodges the latest attempt at a powerbomb and gets to work on Stank's knees with muay thai kicks. This does stagger the big man a bit, and allows Bridget to get some more offense in. She kicks him the gut and follows up with driving elbows getting him back into the corner. Once she gets him there, she basically unleashes any and all frustration on him. It's about all he can do to keep his hands up to block most of them, but she lands a few. The referee admonishes her about closed fists, and then begins the 5-count. Bridget stops at the 3-mark, and turns to argue at the referee, giving Stank his chance. Which he takes, shoving Bridget hard across the ring and into the far corner and follows up with one corner splash. He runs a lap and then comes in for a second corner splash, and that crumbles Bridget even more. He goes for the third time, but three strikes and Stank is out, as Bridget dodges at the last minute and Stank meets the ringpost with his sternum. He clutches his chest and Bridget capitalizes by leaping up and...BACKSTABBER~! Stank doesn't know whether to clutch his chest or his back, and Bridget sweeps a leg and takes him down. She makes the cover, one, two...NO~! Stank powers out of that one. Stank gets to his feet and armdrags Bridget like a rag doll. He grabs her by the back of the head, and SHITFACED~! He also goes for the pin and one, two...NO~! Bridget will not go quietly. Stank stands and pulls Bridget to her feet and nails her with a hockey punch. Bridget reels but then follows up with one of her own. They exchange punches for a bit (with the crowd yelling "Yay" and "Boo" as appropriate)

Russ: Bridget is digging deep into her shoot-fighting repertoire.
Razz: She'll have to, to defeat the champ.

Bridget is indeed digging deep, as she ducks a right hook, and grabs the hand, twisting Stank's arm behind him and locking it in place. She steps the foot in front and drives him down to the mat, holding his arm. She flips over into a bridge and holds it there. A BRIDGING CHICKENWING~! that totally needs a name! Stank did not have this scouted, and sooner than he'd like...he has to tap.
WINNER in 37:41 and NEW OOWF Intercontinental Champion – Bridget O’Malley

The referee hands Bridget the title and she celebrates. She doesn’t get to celebrate for long as Zed hits the ring and attacks her from behind! Zed pulls her up and hits a PILEDRIVER! Stank gets to his feet and they put the boots to Bridget for a bit before Kylie races to the ring with a chair and cleans house. Zed and Stank beat a hasty retreat up the ramp, while Kylie checks on Bridget. After a few minutes, Bridget gets to her feet, holding her neck. Kylie picks up the intercontinental title, a title she held just two weeks ago, and gives it a good long look before handing it to her friend and raising her arm in victory. The crowd pops big for this, and we fade to black.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Hell on Earth 14, September 29, LIVE! from Asheville, North Carolina! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! September 19th live! From Annapolis, Maryland!

For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!