Post by Fire-Babe on Sept 26, 2018 20:40:51 GMT -5
Firewoman and Ecosystem are in the back getting checked over. Ecosystem is smiling.
Eco: They were cheering...they were chanting "C-E-O"....for ME~!
Eco: I mean, you get cheered all the time--
FW: Not [u]all[/u] the time...
Eco: It feels great....Fire...this may actually work!
FW: I hope so.
Victor DeNiro comes in.
DVD: You wanted to see me?
FW: No, I wanted to see Danny.
DVD: Danny's busy.
FW: Fine. Moose needs to be either suspended or fined for--
DVD: I think we both know that's not going to happen.
Eco: Victor, you may want to rethink this. If all goes well, I'll be your boss by Sunday.
DVD: Then you can do what you see fit then, but Danny's not going to suspend anyone for the kinds of shenanigans that happen every week anyway, and that YOU YOURSELF have participated in from time to time.
Fire slides off the cot and then sort of steadies herself as her head is killing her.
FW: Vic, if Danny doesn't suspend Moose, I will be very unhappy.
DVD: So what else is new?
FW: Seriously, Vic--
DVD: Fire, just shut up. You can't do shit. You're just the commissioner, you can't do anything about the talent.
FW: Fine, then I quit.
DVD: You what?
FW: I said I quit. Good luck getting the ring set up and all the other logistics of herding these cats from point A to point B.
Firewoman slams out of the medical area. Ecosystem smirks and walks out after her.
Post by snelson66 on Sept 27, 2018 10:31:49 GMT -5
FADE in backstage in Richmond, VA. Leaving his locker room is one half of the OOWF World Tag Team Champions, The Crusher Stan Fulton. He’s stopped by OOWF reporter, Joyce Summers.
JS: “Mr. Fulton, a moment of your time, please.”
Fulton stops dragging his suitcase to the parking ramp.
JS: “Do you have any thoughts on tonight’s match?”
Fulton just looks at her.
JS: “Uh, would you care to elaborate on that?”
SF: “Yes, I have thoughts.”
JS: “OK, let’s try this. Were you surprised by the lack of cohesiveness of your opponents and why?”
SF: “See. That’s a better question. No, I wasn’t surprised. Jack Bullet is an ego-maniac. Everything’s about the next T-shirt design or can coozy. It’s not about what’s in the ring. It’s about what’s out of the ring. Mac is going to be a force to recon with for years to come. Bullet is going to be bagging groceries in a Trader Joe’s within six months. And because I’ve said it, he’ll go do that one day soon to prove some point about something or other he thinks is relevant. He’s always reacting to something. For a quote-unquote Man of Action, he never takes the initial action. He should be calling himself Jack Bullet, Man of Lame Reactions. T-shirts with that slogan are in the OOWF Shop now; proceeds going to the Alzheimer’s Association.”
JS: “You saw and heard what Alexander Darling had to say tonight. He’s demanded a Hell in the Cell match with you and Matt Folz for your tag team titles.”
JS: “The card for Hell on Earth has been posted and he’s received his wish. With little time to prepare, can you and Matt defeat the Darlings?”
SF: “Joyce, it’s no surprise that cry-baby Alexander Darling got his way. And you know what? It’s not that big of a deal to us. We’ve already defeated the Darlings for these Championships and we’ll do it again. I’ve said it before: Alex is very much in our league; maybe even above, though Matt would say differently. Alexis, however, is so far below our level it makes it almost unfair. When Matt or I tag in our partner, we still have a Grand Slam Champion in the ring. When Alex has to tag in his partner, he has a glorified jobber take his place.”
JS: “Does being in the cell make things more dangerous?”
SF: “Of course it does. Does that make our job harder? Of course it does. Will it change the outcome? Of course not. We are the Tag Team of the Year. We are on a mission to be the longest reigning OOWF World Tag Team Champions. Alex and Alexis are just another speed bump along that road.”
Fulton turns towards the camera.
SF: “Alex, Alexis. You demanded this match. What you’re going to get? Remember that you asked for it. Enjoy the pain.”
Fulton walks off.
JS: (almost whispering) “He’s already gunning for 2019 Catchphrase of the Year.”
Joyce Summers continues to roam the halls backstage and finds "Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet exiting his locker room. Summers runs up to him.
JS: Even though you seem to be done for now with the tag team champions, Stan Fulton had some strong words for you about flaming out to work at Trader Joe's and selling shirts that read "Man of Lame Reactions."
JB: Yep, already taken can of it. Here's a picture of me working at Trader Joe's...
Bullet holds up a Polaroid picture of himself smiling broadly, wearing a Trader's Joe apron and holding up a bag of groceries.
JB: And I had Carl From Fresno buy up all the Man of Lame Reactions shirts and distribute them to nursing homes across the eastern seaboard.
Bullets holds up another Polaroid with a bunch of smiling octogenarians wearing Man of Lame Reactions shirts.
JS: Who still uses a Kodak camera?
Bullet stares at her and doesn't say anything.
JS: And...as Fulton said you did this to prove some point that you think is relevant.
JB: Yes and it's that I've moved on from Fulton and Folz with all loose ends tied up. If Fulton wants to keep beating a dead horse, then feel free to keep beating it.
JS: I don't think that came out how you wanted.
JB: Oh, yes it did. I'm moving onto this Sunday and Hell on Earth. I've got Mac Flasher for the OOWF World Heavyweight Title. That's the real prize we both want and we're happy to go up against each other for it.
JS: Despite your recent friendship and tagging, you two did devolve into brawling at the end of Mayhem.
JB: Not the first time that's happened, probably won't be the last. Flasher and I are probably more alike than we care to admit. We're passionate about the title, we're passionate about the OOWF and we're passionate about the fans. Those aren't talking points, those are action points. Catchphrase of the Year 2019 feels like a lock already.
Bullet smiles, the light pings off his teeth and he exits as we fade.
Voicemail from Jack Bullet's phone 4 p.m. Thursday, Sept. 27.
Hey, Jackie Boy, it's Carl. No, not that Carl. Carl from Fresno. Thanks for throwing me a bone with the T-shirt gig. I got them all delivered and the old people were happy to get them. I even got a few phone numbers from some of the cronies. Old Carl is still the ladies man. I can be their Hume Cronyn and they can can be my Jessica Tandy.
Anyway, I heard that Firewoman quit as commissioner. I was wondering if you could put in a word for me for the job. I could use the work and the cash. I have no idea what the job entails, but it seemed all Firewoman did was walk around barking orders to set up the ring and drooling over John Ross Ewing. I can do that. Be sure to tell the board I would cheap, cheeseburger cheap. Call me back, it's Carl...from Fresno.
Post by snelson66 on Sept 28, 2018 10:06:19 GMT -5
FADE in on a hallway at the Asheville Civic Center Complex. WALKING!~~ are the current OOWF World Tag Team Champions and 2018 OOWF Tag Team of the Year, Matt Folz and The Crusher Stan Fulton.
MF: “So this place has an arena, auditorium, banquet hall and meeting rooms. Where is Hell on Earth taking place?”
SF: “I heard we we’re almost in one of the meeting rooms but they're too small. I think Fire tried to get the arena, was denied because they’re setting up for Beer City Beatdown No. 5, so we’re in the banquet hall.”
MF: “Are they going to be able to drop the cell?”
SF: “No, they’ll have to bring each section in and set it up before the match.”
MF: “Where is the Destroyitarium?”
SF: “The Flowering Dogwood Room.”
MF: “I have some questions.”
SF: “Not surprising.”
MF: “First: you said some nice things about Alex Darling. I want to know why? You know I hate him.”
SF: “I know. I hate him too. The things he and Royalty did to me put me out of wrestling the first time. But I can hate someone and respect his or her talent.”
MF: “Alright. I’ll let it go. Second: Mai’s been hanging out with Moose a lot lately. You okay with that?”
SF: “Why wouldn’t I be?”
MF: “Well, everyone here thinks you have a thing for Mai.”
SF: “Doesn’t matter if I do or not. I’m a big ugly troll who’s going to die alone.”
MF: “Wow. That’s dark.”
Kayfabe comes out from a doorway, stops Fulton with a hand on his chest and pulls his head down. She whispers in his ear and pats his cheek. She then walks away.
MF: “What was that all about?”
SF: “She said to have the writer stop projecting his issues onto me.”
MF: “That’s odd.”
SF: “Any other questions?”
MF: “Just one more.”
SF: “Here it comes.”
MF: “If this Sunday’s event is the OOWF’s Wrestlemania, why does it seem like the world has stopped caring?”
SF: “I don’t know. We’re doing our best work and no one is here to see it. Maybe LD Williams was the glue that held the OOWF together. Maybe ... I don’t know. I have other ideas, but the bottom line is we’re having our biggest show of the year in a banquet hall only because the ring doesn’t fit in the meeting rooms.”
MF: “We could say that America has tuned out because of Jack Bullet.”
SF: “Naw. As much as he’s an annoyance to us, he’s good in the ring, always gets his promos done and has a decent character.”
MF: “I like that Carl From Fresno voicemail bit he’s got going.”
SF: “Yeah. I had a scary thought.”
SF: “What if the downturn is because of my return and the football stuff we’re always putting in?”
MF: “Could be. No one likes your team.”
Fulton looks sad.
SF: “I’m... uh... you go on ahead. I’m going to... uh... find... something... I’ll catch you later.”
Fulton walks off as Folz stands there stunned.
MF: (yelling at Fulton’s back) “I didn’t really mean that!”
The camera opens on two silhouettes sitting in the empty arena as the ring has already been set up and everything is ready for a big weekend in the OOWF. In those two seats, the camera zooms in on the DEA #1 and #2 Jerseys that are being respectively worn by Alexis & Alexander Darling. The two are leaning back and looking at the roof of the building where the Hell in the Cell has already been put together and is just waiting to be lowered on Saturday night.
Alexis:Glorified jobber. Below your level. Speed bump. I think that's funny and I could make some cracks here about the man who said it, but it's not worth it because come Sunday, he'll know exactly what I am capable of. Win or lose, he will understand that I am as good as anyone he's ever stepped into a ring with. For all the issues we have had with the Saints or whatever Moose's stable is called at the time, in the deepest recesses of that dark soul he has, he'll tell you that the Darlings...all of us, are nothing to be overlooked because at the end of the day, we have nothing left to lose.
Xander:Matt Folz has been a thorn in my side since the day he arrived here. We tried to be allies and that didn't work. He tried to take my championship from me in his hometown and it didn't work. I tried to break him and his wife down into nothing and it didn't work. Time and time again, we have tried to end each other's careers and yet we both continue to fight back against that. Poe may have been my first rival, Moose may be greatest rival, Ghosthead may be the rival I still have nightmares about, and Stank may be a rival on a whole other level...but Matt Folz and I are rivals on a level that neither of us truly want to admit in that we can be so much alike and yet still hate what we see when we stand across the ring from one another.
Alexis:This isn't about the Saints of Sinners. This isn't about Royalty or Run DEA or anything like that. This is about two best friends against two twins. Matt & Stan have had a bond for a long time and it's allowed them to shine in this current era of the OOWF, but they've shined in an era where the Texans were worn out and left. Where Drink & Destroy vanished. Where teams like Beer Money & Banned from Everywhere are too inconsistent. And where the new talents have had a tough time finding bonds to forge and create those partnerships that sustain.
Xander:But Lexie and I have had that bond since birth and it's only been fortified through our lives. Now we'll both admit that over the last couple of years our focus hasn't been where it and to be honest, we were not sure what our future held, but we sat down together and realized that our jobs were not finished. That no matter what people may say about us, that in this world, that when we are together and we are focused...we are the Darlings and that just means something that no one else can understand.
Alexis:We came into this business without support of friends or most of our family and this business has shattered even more of the friendships we've developed than we still maintain. We go home at the end of our days and all we have is each other and very few remaining friends and family. So, we look in the mirror and we realize that what our legacy will be is what we accomplish in that ring. Now, here is where Stan is correct...Alex has accomplished everything there is to accomplish and yet he still yearns for me. But Stan is incorrect in thinking I've not accomplished my goals...I never wanted to be a world champion and people can believe that or not, but what I wanted was to be the best at whatever I set my mind to and I think it was when Chad & Zane said I couldn't hold my own in our Trios reign that I vowed that I'd become one of the best tag team wrestlers this company has ever seen. Say what you want about my individual accomplishments, but tag team championship reigns with three of the best different wrestlers this company has seen. And I know you'll claim that I was carried to those titles, but I can promise you that all 3 of those partners will claim otherwise.
Xander:And the truth is that it doesn't matter what you or Matt think. We know who we are. We know what we're capable of. And if either of you aren't sure of that, we're going to be more than happy to remind you come Sunday. It's Hell on Earth, so Matt & Stan...bring the pain, we're more than capable of bringing our own. You however are not able to change a simple genetic fact. We're the Darlings...
Post by Moosehead Jack on Sept 28, 2018 17:37:41 GMT -5
<we see Zed and BRICK~! walking down the hall talking>
B: Look, you've got this in the bag. Stank is on your side, he isn't going to go after you, all you have to do is beat Kylie or Bridget, let Stank do all the heavy lifting, then seize your opportunity
Z: That sounds like a good plan
B: Work smarter, not harder
Z: Isn't that Eco's line?
B: Well, he DID create me, so.......
<as they round the corner they see Justin and Bing Bong talking. BRICK~! and Zed walk up to them>
Z: Well, well, well. What do we have here? A wimp and a blimp!
<without warning, Bing Bong balls up the end of her trunk and POPS Zed right in the jaw. Zed drops like a ton of bricks. Bing Bong then turns to BRICK~! and growls, BRICK~! beats a hasty retreat. Bing Bong looks at Justin and chuffs and coos>
Justin: Are you sure?
<Bing Bong trumpets loudly>
<Justin falls on top of Zed, a referee appears.........ONE.......TWO.......THREE! WINNER AND NEW OOWF DDT IRON MAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION - JUSTIN SANE!
<the referee hands Justin the title then disappears. Justin puts the title around his waist and he and Bing Bong step over Zed and continue down the hall as if nothing happened>
Post by Sportsguy on Sept 28, 2018 18:37:24 GMT -5
Sometime later we see Matt Folz catching up to his tag team partner.
Matt: I know I'm not exactly a people person but I really was joking.
Stan (Sighing): I know. Sorry I stormed off.
Matt: No apology needed. I wouldn't want to spend time with me either.
Matt: One of us should probably respond to the Darlings but I have a headache right now. But I will ask you one question.
Matt: What's worse? The writer who projects his issues onto his character by having him be alone, because said writer thinks he's going to die alone? Or the writer who Waaaaaaay over compensates by giving his character a wife out of his league because that writer KNOWS he's going to die alone?
Post by Moosehead Jack on Sept 29, 2018 23:38:51 GMT -5
<cut to Danny's office after the award show, Danny is pacing, Vic is sitting behind the desk and Moose and Fire are standing in front of him>
Vic: We have a no contact policy at the awards show
FW: Didn't two people brawl through the whole show once?
Vic: That was then, this is now. You two crossed a line, and Danny has decided to fine you one week's pay each for your actions. You will get your pay per view pay, but you will work the IO for free. Any questions?
FW: Not a question, but I'll pay Moose's fine
FW: Well, that Daddy Darling money will be drying up soon, would hate to see my dear brother sleeping on the streets in Detroit
MHJ: Funny. You know Vic, I will pay for Fire's fine. I am sure Alex would love that his daddy's money went to YOU. Since you will be unemployable because you are a LIAR, I'll cover it
<Fire and Moose go nose to nose>
MHJ: Not a fucking chance in hell
FW: Tomorrow, I am going to make our bloodpond match look like an onslaught rules match
MHJ: Yeah......who won that match again?
FW: I DID!
MHJ: Cause I LET you win
<there is rage in both their eyes, Vic stands up quickly>
Vic: STOP! If this goes on, you will be fined a SECOND week's check each!
<Fire and Moose look at Vic.......then look at one another.......then immediately start throwing punches and wrestling on the floor. Danny rolls his eyes and throws up his hands. Vic picks up the phone>
V: Lucas......got a bit of a situation here, I need you to come get your fiance..........fighting with her brother........yes, again. You may want to get the rest of the Saints to get Moose as well........yep, thanks.
Post by Fire-Babe on Sept 30, 2018 13:51:20 GMT -5
The Saints arrive to pull Fire and Moose apart. Stank takes hold of Fire around the waist and lifts her off her feet, not that it stops her from swinging and kicking any. Matt and Stank take charge of Moose, and Mai stands in front of him, not that that stops Moose from trying to swing at Fire past her. The two continue to yell insults at each other.
MHJ: You just think you can do whatever you want, TAKE what ever you want, don't you.
FW: You're damn right I can, and I do, and I will!
MF: Moose, as much as I think you're justified here--
MHJ: Don't you worry, Matt...I am SURE we will handle all of this in the ring, ay Sis?
FW: See you there. Try not to be late.
Moose lunges past Mai, and Stank mostly pulls Fire out of the way so he misses. Stan and Matt regain their hold and both parties get pulled in the opposite direction, with Fire and Moose grinning with malice towards each other.
Russ: And there you have it folks....the Quinn siblings and the Muyo siblings will go at it tonight on Hell On Earth. Razz: And may God have mercy on ALL our souls!
The graphic comes up for HOE 2018 with ordering information and a link to the OOWF Network, still only $6.66!!
Post by DrMcAwesome on Sept 30, 2018 17:30:44 GMT -5
*an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds MAC FLASHER pacing in his locker room while listening to something on his AirPods. As he starts to focus his nervous energy into stretching, a knock is heard on the door. MAC answers to see BRIDGET O’MALLEY*
MAC: “To what do I owe …”
BRIDGET: “Stuff it. You know exactly why I’m here.”
MF: “Unless you’re delivering the pizza that I ordered 20 minutes ago, no I don’t.”
BO’M: “Well, I’ll let you in on it. For someone who I’m still supposedly dating, I’ve barely seen you in the past month. I put up with you when you decided to become a Hot Topic version of yourself. What did I get? A month of you palling around with Jack Bullet AS HE IS AIMING TO CHALLENGE YOU FOR YOUR TITLE AT HELL ON EARTH. You’d think that you’d have been vigilant in keeping Jack at an arm’s length … No. You became BFFs.”
MF: “It’s not the first time that friends have competed for this championship.”
BO’M: “But Jack has been at this longer than you have. What happens when you have to find that extra gear to put him away. You won’t find it, because you don’t want to hurt Jack or his feelings. It’ll be Johnstown all over again when you just kept asking me to stay down …”
MF: “I still retained.”
BO’M: “ONLY because the Saints if Sinners got into the cage.”
MF: “What is the point of this?”
BO’M: “You tell me. You haven’t taken the time to show the world anything since Aug. 1.”
MF: “Neither have you.”
*KAYFABE strolls past and winks at the INC before glaring at BRIDGET and MAC*
BO’M: “OK. Whatever. I mean … Again. My boyfriend has been persona non grata for almost two months. Thank God that Kylie has reaccepted me as a friend, or I’d have had nothing.”
MF: “Jack needed a friend, too.”
BO’M: “Jack also wants your championship and he’s played you like a fiddle to get to tonight. It’s like you just shut your brain off since beating Moose.”
BO’M: “You’ve just … Changed. You’re not the person I’ve loved or have been dating. The bullying comments of the Saints of Sinners. This whole summer of Emo Mac … You are not the same MacIntosh Flasher that I’ve known forever.”
MF: “People evolve, Bridget.”
BO’M: “You’ve never made less sense than in the past three months. You confuse me at every turn ... I have no idea who you are any more … And I’ve never been more turned on by the mystery …”
*BRIDGET lunges toward MAC as KAYFABE quickly rushes to shut the door on the INC, which has no choice other than to fade the scene*
Post by Moosehead Jack on Sept 30, 2018 22:01:33 GMT -5
OOWF Hell On Earth 14 (#881) Live! From Asheville, North Carolina September 30, 2018
Russ: Welcome everyone to Hell on Earth 14, LIVE! From Asheville, North Carolina! Razz: Good ta be here tonight, we have what I guess some would call an honor, joining us on commentary tonight, Nash! Nash: What do you mean some? Of course it’s an honor for me to join you Razz: I am just glad you made it down here without tearing a quad Nash: Ah the little man has jokes Russ: If we could focus on the card, our first match I a loser leaves town match, which mean, either Beer Money or Banned From Everywhere will be gone from the OOWF! Nash: Like…..why? I mean, where’s the money in this? Russ: You’re not intrigued? Someone will lose their job tonight! Nash: I remember back in the early 70’s, I beat Verne Gagne in a loser leaves town match, the next week he came back as G-Fresh under a mask. It makes no sense Razz: Verne Gagne. Came back as G-Fresh Nash: You calling me a liar Razz: No, not at all. I’m just saying I don’t believe you Russ: While you two argue, let’s head to the ring for our first match
BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE vs. BEER MONEY – Loser Leaves Town Match
Beer Money is announced and they make their way to the ring with the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth. The crowd boos them loudly, and SYB seems especially animated tonight, threatening old ladies and children, but staying away from the men who boo him. They climb into the ring and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth herds them into the corner and gives them some last minute advice. “Insane in the Brain” plays and the crowd erupts as Awesome Bill From Dawsonville, Justin Sane and Ellie May From Elijay make their way to the ring. They slap hands with the fans, then Justin and Bill climb into the ring. Looks like Justin and SYB are going to start things off, the bell rings and we are underway!
SYB and Skurge lock up and SYB immediately goes to the eyes. He lands a couple of punches to a blinded Justin, then whips him to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Justin ducks. As he rebounds off the ropes, Justin hits a dropkick that nearly takes SYB’s head off. SYB bounces to his feet and staggers into the corner, Justin charges in and jumps on the second rope and does the TEN PUNCHES OF DOOM! The crowd counts along, as he hits ten Justin hops off the ropes, SYB staggers out of the corner, taking a couple of swings at nothing in particular, then falling face on the mat. Justin hooks him and rolls him over and covers, but Skurge comes in and breaks it up with a kick to the back of Justin’s head.
Justin pulls SYB to a sitting position, then hooks him in a rolling cradle and rolls him around the ring. He stops and has SYB’s shoulders on the mat, somehow he kicks out, but now both men are too dizzy to continue. Justin struggles to his feet first and staggers over to SYB and tries to pull him to his feet. Skurge comes into the ring, which takes the referee’s attention away from SYB, so SYB NAILS Justin with the JERSEY TURNPIKE! Justin doubles over in pain and SYB rolls him into an inside cradle. The referee turns back around and starts the count, but Bill comes in and kicks SYB to break up the pin. SYB drags Justin to the Beer Money corner and tags in Skurge.
Skurge comes in and drops a knee across Justin’s throat, then drags him to the bottom rope and puts his throat on the bottom rope and chokes him out. The referee starts his count and Skurge breaks just before the DQ. Skurge turns to argue with the referee which lets SYB drop his knee across the back of Justin’s head choking him some more. Skurge finally turns around and springs over the top rope and drops a leg across the back of Justin’s head, then hitting the floor and ROCKING him with a European upper cut. Justin’s head snaps back and he falls into the ring, Skurge slides in and covers, but Justin manages to get his foot on the ropes before the three.
Skurge drags Justin to the middle of the ring and locks him in the sharpshooter!
Russ: He has him trapped in the middle of the ring, can Justin fight this? Nash: Could you imagine the humiliation? Knowing you gave up and cost you and your partner a payday? Razz: Well, at some point you have ta! You can’t risk permanent injury, that would ruin the team as well
Skurge fights and fights to get out of it, the crowd starts stomping and clapping and cheering “JUS-TIN! Chants erupt. Justin starts to fight and manages to grab Skurge’s leg and he REVERSES THE SHARPSHOOTER! Skurge howls in pain and the crowd loses their minds.
SYB runs in and rakes SYB’s eyes, again, this brings Bill in, he goes after SYB but SYB bails out of the ring. Bill goes back to his corner and Justin tags Bill in. Bill pulls Skurge to his feet and takes him down HARD with a stiff clothesline. Bill hits the ropes then drops a high knee across Skurge’s chest, Bill covers…..one……two……NO! Skurge kicks out at two!
Bill pulls Skurge to his feet and tags in Justin. Bill sets Skurge on the top rope and climbs up and hits a SUPERPLEX! Justin then lauches himself off the top and hits the JIST INSANE FROGSPLASH! Bill stays in the ring to keep SYB from interfering, the referee hits the mat, the crowd counts along ONE! TWO THRE………NO! Skurge rolls his shoulder!
Russ: HOW THE HELL DID HE KICK OUT OF THAT! Razz: Skurge is really showing something tonight! Fighting for his team! Nash: He’s fighting for a PAYCHECK!
Justin pulls Skurge up and tags Bill back in. Bill comes in and hammers Skurge with punches, then whips him to the ropes, but Skurge reverses and SYB low bridges Bill sending him crashing over the top rope. SYB hops off the apron and grabs a conveniently placed bottle and SMASHES it upside Bill’s head! Bill drops to the floor and doesn’t move. Skurge tags in SYB and SYB jumps off the apron and grabs Bill and rolls him into the ring. Bill is a bloody mess.
SYB covers, but somehow Bill rolls his shoulder. SYB and Skurge use quick tags to keep Bill on the mat. SYB traps Bill in a fujiwara arm bar and Bill yells in pain. The crowd is roaring for Bill. Bill fights to his feet, then lifts SYB up and DRIVES him to the mat with a POWERBOMB! Bill is HYPED! Skurge comes in and he eats repeated Atomic Elbows. Bill clotheslines Skurge over the top rope, then pounces on SYB and traps him in the CUYLER CLUTCH! Skurge immediately comes back into the ring and Justin catches him and spins him to the mat in a CROSSFACE! The crowd is about to go nuclear………finally SYB TAPS! SYB TAPS! SYB TAPS! And the crowd EXPLODES! WINNERS in 17:39 – Banned From Everywhere
Justin and Bill celebrate with Ellie May while the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth does NOT look happy. SYB realizes what happened and throws a tantrum while Skurge just remains face down on the mat. The crowd starts singing “NA-NA-NA-NA, NA-NA-NA-NA, HEY! HEY! GOOOOOOOOOOOOBYE! SYB and Skurge roll out of the ring and march up the ramp with a VERY unhappy Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth following right behind then.
Russ: A sad ending to a very good OOWF career for Beer Money, formerly IHOP. Razz: I would NOT want to be in their boots! She was MAD! NASH: WON’T SOMONE THINK OF THE MONEY! Russ: Is that all this is to you? NASH: Money’s life, homie Razz: You just said homie. You literally just said homie NASH: It’s cool, my bro Konan said it was cool Razz: Unreal Russ: Moving on to our next match, Shizuru and Shannon defend the OOWF Onslaught Championship against Ghosthead, who, until AT LEAST, last night was still wearing a neckbrace. Nash: So what? Back in 1980 I won an Olympic gold medal in wrestling with a broken freakin’ neck! Razz: Uh, we boycotted the summer Olympics in 1980, and that was Kurt Angle. Literally, word for word, Kurt Angle Nash: So the story leading up to this Shizz match…….crazy stuff! Russ: Indeed it has been a wild ride, back at Alaskan Massacre, Shizuru basically abducted Shannon and Ghosthead lost his mind. Shannon says she fell for Shizuru and now tonight, they are going to destroy her HUSBAND! Razz: You can’t make this shit up! Russ: Let’s head to the ring
GHOSTHEAD vs. SHANNON MANN & SHIZURU - OOWF Onslaught Championship Handicap Match
Ghosthead is announced first and comes to the ring like a man on a mission. Most noticeably, Ghost is still wearing a neck brace
Nash: IS HE INSANE? Razz: For once I find myself agreeing with you. They can’t let this go on! Russ: From what I’m being told in the back, Ghost signed a waiver, no matter what happens in this match, the OOWF is not financially liable at all Nash: IS HE INSANE?!?!?![/b]
Shizuru’s music hits and he and Shannon make their way to the ring. Shannon holds the ropes open for Shizuru. He steps between the ropes……and immediately attacks Ghost! Shizuru nails Ghost with a kick to the gut, Ghost recovers and connects with a shot to Shizuru’s jaw. He staggers back and Ghost backs him into the corner and lays in some insanely stiff forearms to the side of Shizuru’s head. Shannon charges in and grabs Ghost from behind and hits a release German suplex! Ghost lands HARD on the back of his head, hard enough to pop the collar off! The crowd gasps at this and gets quiet. Ghost lays face down in the middle of the ring holding his neck. The referee checks on him and we hear Ghost say he is ok, even though the referee does not appear to be sure.
While the crowd is stunned into silence, Shannon grabs Ghost and puts him in a chin lock while Shizuru runs out of the corner and connects with a drop kick to Ghost’s face that snaps his head back further. Shannon keeps hold of Ghost’s head, then gets to her feet and CURBSTOMPS him. The crowd is now booing the ever loving SHIT out of Shizuru and Shannon. Shizuru glares out at the crowd then grabs Ghost and lifts him and hits a PILEDRIVER! The crowd is HORRIFIED. Shizuru and Shannon yell at the crowd, so what they don’t see is Ghost pop right back to his feet and crack his neck. The crowd pops HUGE for this. Ghost grabs Shizuru and spins him around and levels him with a clothesline. Shannon charges but Ghost catches her and elevates her and hits a Cesaro elbow as she falls, Shannon hits the mat and rolls to the floor, dazed.
Ghost glares at Shizuru, then pulls him to his feet and whips him to the ropes and nearly takes his head off with a big boot. Ghost doesn’t even try for a cover, he whips Shizuru into the corner and charges in and catches him with another boot to the face. Ghost sets Shizuru on the top rope and hits a BRAINBUSTAAAAAAA!!! He drags Shizuru into the ring and locks him in the Phantasmagoria! Shizuru struggles and tries to make it to the ropes, but he is fading fast. The referee moves in to check on Shizuru and is just about to call for the bell when Shannon rushes in and lands a stiff kick to Ghost’s ribs, that draws a warning from the referee.
Shannon has used her first referee warning
Shizuru crawls into the corner, presumably to die as Shannon pulls Ghost to his feet and connects with a spinning heel kick to the side of the head. Ghost is staggered. Shannon grabs him and HIGH IMPACT MOVE, Ghost’s head snaps back and he falls to the mat. Shannon pulls Ghost up and sends him into the corner, Ghost slams into the corner sternum first and staggers backward, Shannon leaps up and hits a REVERSE HURRACARANA driving Ghost to the man on the back of his head. Shannon gets to her feet and looks proud of herself, the crowd boos her loudly. Ghost struggles to his feet and Shannon charges, but Ghost backdrops her over the top rope to the floor!
Ghost staggers to the middle of the ring and drops to his knees. In the corner we see Shizuru spit BLACK MIST on his hand! He stands and calls for the BLACK MIST CLAW on Ghost!! He raises his hand in the air, the referee is warning him not to do it, Ghost grabs the referee and tells him to let him do it, while they are arguing, Shannon jumps back onto the apron and grabs Shizuru’s hand and slams it onto his face, right over his eyes! Shizuru howls in pain!
Russ: What the hell is going on here? Razz: Did Shannon just turn on Shizuru? Nash: That should be a disqualification, shouldn’t it? Russ: The rules of a handicap onslaught rules match are a little fuzzy Razz: Clearly
Shizuru staggers out of the corner toward Ghost, he grabs Shizruru and hits the HORROR DRIVER! Ghost gets to his feet and she and Shannon go nose to nose, then they both give and evil grin and put the boots to Shizuru! They are beating him mercilessly when the Saint’s music hits and they storm the ring. They circle the ring and Shannon and Ghost get ready for a fight. The crowd is so confused right now. The Saints climb onto the apron and are about to step between the ropes, when they all stop, hop off the apron and head to the back!
Russ: THE SAINTS JUST ABANDONED SHIZURU! Razz: Does it really surprise you? Those bastards are cowards! Nash: Man if I had a dollar for every time we had to turf someone who was holding us back! Russ: More with the money!
Shizuru can see just enough that he watches the Saints go, and realizes what is happening. He gets to his knees and tries to beg off from Ghost and Shannon but Shannon catches him with a kick to the face. She pulls Shizuru up and sends him to the ropes while Ghost springs off the middle rope and connects with the EIDOLON! Ghost heads to the corner for the SPECTRE’S FALL! As he gets to the top, Shanon clips his leg and he crashes to the mat! Shannon grabs Shizuru and hits the ENIGMA BUSTER! Shannon covers Shizuru, one……two……THREE! WINNER in 10:47 and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion – Shannon Mann
Razz: IS THAT EVEN LEGAL? Nash: What a horrible way to lose a match! Razz: You lost a title to a finger poke of doom Nash: My god that drew me so much money! Russ: To answer the question, I have no idea if that is legal or not, it certainly appears to be!
Back inside the ring, Ghost gets to his feet and walks up to his wife in confusion. She grabs a mic:
I bet you are wondering WHY I shoved you off the top rope <Ghost nods> I did it because THIS <patting the Onslaught title draped over her shoulder> IS MINE! <Ghost still looks confused> Still not getting it? Listen to me, husband. When I married you, we became EQUALS. When Shizuru kidnapped me, that was MY situation to deal with, NOT YOURS. You rushed to my aid and made it YOUR issue with Shizuru. That angered me. So I decided to play along with Shizuru and see where this ended up, knowing the whole time that it would be ME as champion, not my bullheaded husband.
GH: <starts to say something, then stops and nods his head> you are right, I was wrong
S: Excellent. Now hold the ropes open for your Queen
<Ghost steps on the bottom rope and pulls up the middle rope letting Shannon out of the ring, Ghost follows behind him, and the crowd boos the shit out of both of them>
Back inside the ring, Shizuru has crawled to the bottom rope and reaches out as Shannon walks away, he cries out, then slumps to the mat, sobbing. Eventually he rolls under the bottom rope and staggers to the back. The crowd slowly starts to applause, and it builds and builds until Shizuru stops and acknowledges it. The fans get louder as Shizuru walks to the back and disappears behind the curtain.
Russ: You almost have to give credit to Shizuru there, he walked to the back on his own after taking that beating. Razz: You almost have to feel a little sorry for the guy, he lost his girl and his buddies all in one night. Nash: Hubris, man, it will get you every single time. Almost happened to me once Razz: Almost Russ: Our next match should be a great one. There is absolutely no love lost between the Darlings and any members of the Saints of Sinners. These four are all veterans of the Hell in the Cell, so Razz, how much will the cage affect them? Razz: As often as they’ve been in a cell? Not much. Nash: I don’t care how many times you’ve been in one, getting your face slammed into steel hurts Razz: Fair point. Russ: The Darlings are fighting for more than the titles here, as per Alex’s promo, if they lose tonight, they cannot get another title shot as long as the Saints are champions, effectively freezing them out of the title picture Razz: They’re absolutely betting on their ability here tonight, and why not, love em or hate em the Darlings are some of the best wrestlers we’ve ever seen Russ: The cage is finally lowered, let’s head to the ring.
THE DARLINGS vs. THE SAINTS OF SINNERS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Hell in the Cell
Alex and Alexis are announced first, they head to the ring and get a more cheers than they are used to. They step into the cell and walk around ringside looking it over, then slide into the ring and pose on the turnbuckles, which gets a nice reaction from the crowd. The Darlings relax on the top turnbuckle while the OOWF World tag team champions, the Saints of Sinners, Stan Fulton and Matt Folz make their way to the ring. They are booed even louder than usual given what they just did to Shizuru. The Saints stop at ringside and leave their titles on the Icelandic Announce Table, then step into the cell. Fulton and Folz climb onto the apron, wipe their boots, then step between the ropes. The official outside the ring calls for the bell and we are underway.
Alex and Folz start things off attacking one another furiously and going through some AMAZING chain wrestling. Both men get frustrated as the other reverses everything he does. They finally break and the crowd roars THIS IS AWE-SOME! Alex charges at Folz, but Folz back drops him over the top rope to the floor. Alex lands on his feet and grabs Folz and pulls him outside the ring and LAUNCHES him into the cage!
Folz hits the cage and falls to the floor and Alex pulls him up and slams his face into the cage again, this time drawing some blood. Folz collapses to the floor, Alex grabs Folz for a Boston Crap, then catapults him into the ringpost! Folz’s head slams into the steel and he staggers backward, Alex grabs him by the throat and lifts him and CHOKESLAMS him on the apron! Folz rolls into the ring, Alex slides in and covers, but Stan breaks it up at two.
Alex and Alexis double team the shit out of Folz, keeping him in their corner. Folz fights back, catching Alexis with a hard elbow to the side of the head, then driving her to the mat with a backdrop driver. Alexis and Folz are both down on the mat. They start crawling toward their corner, Folz lunges and tags in Fulton, Stan comes into the ring and tries to grab Lexie before she makes the tag, but she gets to Alex before Stan gets to her and makes the tag.
Alex comes in and he and Fulton circle, Alex lands several hard kicks to Fulton’s knees, Stan shakes them off and when Alex tries a punch, Fulton catches him and flips him to the mat with a judo throws. Alex pops to his feet and charges at Stan, Stan catches him with a THUNDEROUS spinebuster and covers, but Alexis breaks up the count at two.
Fulton pulls Alex to a seated position and hammers him with crossfaces. Alex rolls away, dazed and pulls himself to his feet in the corner. Fulton walks in and starts hammering Alex with punches to the ribs and gut, then stepping back and nailing a palm shot right to Alex’s sternum. Darling falls to the mat gasping for air, Fulton puts his knee in his throat and only breaks because he feels like it. Fulton whips Alex to the ropes and connects with a big superkick to the jaw that sends Darling falling out of the ring.
Folz jumps off the apron and grabs Alex and slams him face first into the cage. Alex falls to the floor and Folz reaches under the ring and grabs a chain and wraps it around his fist and pounds Alex with punches to the head until he is busted wide open. Folz heads back to his corner and Fulton steps out of the ring to the apron. He runs the apron and tries a CLEAR CUT OFF THE APRON, but somehow Alex rolls out of the way and Fulton SLAMS into the floor hip first! Fulton howls in pain, Alex pulls himself to his feet and grabs a chair and SLAMS it down on Fulton’s hip. Darling, still struggling to stand, pulls Fulton to his feet and shoves the big man back into the ring. Darling covers, but Folz comes in and breaks it up with a kick right to Alex’s face, a kick that appeared to be more than a little stiff. Darling falls off of Fulton and crawls toward his corner and makes the tag to Lexie.
Lexie comes into the ring and grabs Fultons injured leg, well, hip, and turns him over in a half Boston crab, really sitting low on Fulton’s back, pulling back hard on that hip. Fulton howls in pain, the referee comes in close checking to see if he wants to quit. When it becomes clear he won’t, Alex charges into the ring and slams his knee into Fulton’s hip. This brings Folz in and he and Alex got out it, tumbling between the ropes to the floor.
Inside the ring, Fulton finally manages to roll over, breaking the half crab, Lexie tries to reapply it, but Fulton kicks her in the face with his good leg, causing Alexis to stagger away. Fulton pulls himself to one knee on the ropes, Lexie charges in and catches him with a running knee to the side of the head. Fulton crumbles to the mat, Lexie tries to trap Fulton in the Tazzmission, but Fulton fights to his feet, again using the ropes, and falls backward CRUSHING Alexis! Fulton lays on her and the referee hits the mat, one…..two……NO! Lexie kicks out, just barely!
Outside the ring, Alex and Matt have fought out the Cell door and are headed up the side of the cage, fighting the whole way. They take turns climbing and slamming one another’s faces into the cage, both of them nearly falling off several times. They finally get to the top and start swinging even more. Alex catches Folz with an uppercut to the throat and pulls Folz to the side of the cage. Alex looks down below to the Icelandic Announce Table, where the OOWF World Tag Team titles sit. He lifts Folz onto his shoulders……
Russ: OH MY GOD NO! He is going to hit the Darling driver off the cage! Razz: That will kill BOTH of them![/i]
Alex lifts Folz, but Folz slips free and lifts Alex for the OLYMPIC SLAM off the CAGE! Alex crashes HARD through the Icelandic Announce Table, and Folz tries to keep his balance, but ends up falling through the Panamanian Announce Table right next to it. The crowd erupts into a HOLY SHIT! chant and medics immediately race to ringside to check on both of them.
Fulton pulls Lexie up and throws her to the ropes and nails her with a double sledge to the face that opens a gash on Lexie’s forehead. Lexie sees her blood and gets FURIOUS! She shoves Stan then hits a spinning heel kick to the face, then nails him with a superkick that sends Stan into the corner. Fulton falls to the mat, and Lexie goes to the opposite corner and unties the turnbuckle pad. Lexie pulls Stan out of the corner and grabs him by the head and charges into the corner, she leaps over the top rope and BULLDOGS Fulton right on the exposed steel! Lexie lands on the apron, Fulton’s head snaps back and we can see he had been busted wide open! Lexie springs to the top rope and hits a FLYING NECK BREAKER on Fulton! Stan is OUT! Lexie covers and the crowd counts along ONE……TWO…….NO! Once again, the crowd cannot believe that they were wrong! Lexis pulls Fulton to his feet and goes around behind him and hits a Bridging German suplex! Fulton’s shoulders are down, ONE……TWO…..NO! Fulton raises his shoulder at two! The crowd cannot believe it, Lexie cannot believe it. Lexie slaps the mat in frustration.
Lexie waits for Stan to get to his feet, as he stands she charges, but Fulton catches her with the BACKCUT SLAM! Fulton cannot capitalize though, he is on the mat trying to regain his composure. Outside the ring, the medics have Alex and Folz out of the wreckage of the tables and they start to lead them up the ramp, Folz pushes the medics away and heads back toward the cage. Alex follows, but as Folz gets through the door, he turns around and slams the door on Alex, sending him staggering back and collapsing to the floor.
Folz slides into the ring as Fulton stands, they get an evil grin as Stan heads to the corner and starts to climb the ropes. Folz grabs Lexie and hits an OLYMPIC SLAM, but barely, Folz collapses to the mat as he drops Lexie, so the impact is not as great. Fulton steadies himself on the middle rope and hits THE CRUSHER! Fulton covers……ONE…….TWO…….THREE! Alex tries to get into the ring, but he is a second too late! WINNERS in 44:51 and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions – The Saints of Sinners
The referee hands the titles to Fulton and Folz and they slowly get to their feet. Folz can barely stand, while Fulton is noticeably limping on his injured hip. They hold the titles high and soak in the boos. As they leave the ring, Alex drags himself across the ring and checks on Alexis, consoling her on the loss. The Darlings slowly get to their feet and get a standing ovation from the crowd. They don’t seem to acknowledge it, but it gets louder as they head up the ramp to the back.
Russ: What a match! Razz: The Darlings cannot receive another title match until the Saints lose the titles! Nash: Well, the test for the champs will be, how do they respond after this? They both went through absolute hell tonight, they may be the champs, but right now they are at their most vulnerable. Russ: Time will tell, they both have singles matches on Wednesday at the Imperial Onslaught. Guys, our next match is going to be insane Razz: Anytime you have Moose and Fire in the ring on opposite sides, it is insane, you add the powder keg that is Mai and Eco to this……I hope there are ambulances on stand by Russ: They have the cage raised, let’s go to the ring!
MOOSEHEAD JACK & MAI MUYO vs. FIREWOMAN & ECOSYSTEM
Moose and Fire immediately start at one another, but Mai and Eco hold them back, telling them THEY are starting the match. Juni and Mai meet in the middle of the ring and start arguing. Mai slaps Juni across the face, then Juni responds with a slap of his own. Mai shoves Juni to the mat and tries a knee lift as he gets up, but Eco side steps the move and shoves Mai to the ropes. On the rebound he knees her in the gut and takes her to the mat with a butterfly suplex. Juni quickly rolls to his feet and connects with a drop kick to Mai’s jaw as she gets to her feet sending her back into the corner with Firewoman. Mai immediately turns and hits Fire, knocking her to the floor.
Eco charges into the corner and connects with a clothesline. Mai is staggered as Moose sets her on the top rope and hits a SUPERPLEX! Juni rolls over and gets Mai in a front facelock submission move, but before the referee can even move to check on her, Moose comes in and grabs Juni, pulls him to his feet and slams him between the eyes with a headbutt. Fire tries to come in, but the referee stops her, which allows Moose to kick Eco low and DROP him with a DDT! He pulls Mai onto Eco and leaves the ring, the referee turns around and counts, one…..two…..NO! Mai Eco gets his foot on the bottom rope!
Mai tags Moose into the ring and he drops a knee across Eco’s face, then pulls him to his feet and nails him with a BURNING HAMMER! Eco falls out of the ring, and Moose follows him. Jack pulls Eco up and hits a POWERBOMB on the apron. Eco falls to the floor holding his back. Moose climbs onto the apron and drops an elbow across Eco’s back, then gives Mai the sign, she enters the ring and goes after Fire, with the referee distracted, Moose repeatedly slams a chair down across Eco’s back. Moose shoots him into the ring and tags in Mai, Mai comes in and puts Eco in the Walls of Jericho, staring at Fire the entire time. Eco howls in pain, but when the referee checks on him, he refuses to submit. Eco claws his way to the ropes and finally grabs the bottom rope forcing the break.
Mai pulls him up and drops him across her knee and tags in Moose, Moose climbs to the top rope and then drops an elbow on Eco. He spins off Mai’s knee and crashes to the mat. Moose covers, but Eco gets his foot on the ropes. Moose pulls Juni up and whips him to the ropes and nails a BUISAKU KNEE! Juni collapses in a heap and Moose pounces and locks him in the JI-ENDO! but Fire darts in and breaks it up at two. Moose is quickly to his feet and he and his sister start throwing punches. Mai comes in the ring and we see her pull something out of her boot, it’s HANDCUFFS! Mai nails Fire on the back of the head, then she and Moose drag Fire to the ropes and handcuff her to the top rope!
Russ: Firewoman is handcuffed to the ropes! They are going to DECIMATE Juni! Razz: Oh man, this is a bad spot for Ecosystem
Moose grabs Eco and sets him up for a piledriver, and Mai heads to the top rope to make it a SPIKE PILEDRIVER, the most deadly kind of piledriver! Mai leaps……..but lands a kick right to Moose’s face instead of finishing the pildriver
Nash: What the hell is going on here tonight? Russ: Your guess is as good as mine, did Mai just miss her mark? Razz: It wasn’t even CLOSE to a spike piledriver!
The announcers questions are quickly answered as Mai grabs Moose by the hair and pulls him up, grabs his arms and hits a FLORIDA KEY! Moose lands HARD on the back of his head. Juni is finally on his feet and he looks at Mai, and they share a hug, and the crowd pops HUGE! On the ropes, Fire looks confused. Then the Muyos grab Moose and pull him up for a spike piledriver of their own! Fire is staring in disbelief, she pulls at the handcuffs and slowly pulls her hand free <another historical and biological fact, Fire has small hands and big wrists, and that has saved her life more times than Colonel Colt’s equalizer, or any other weapon she can get her hands on>
Fire races to the corner and nails Mai with a kick to the back of the head, she falls to the mat, dropping Moose. Fire heads to the corner and gets under Juni and hits a TOP ROPE MOOSEKILLER! The crowd realizes what has just happened and boos the ever loving SHIT out of Fire. Eco looks hurt that Fire has betrayed him and all four fight in the ring. The match actually settles down, only now it is Moose and Fire against Mai and Eco! They brawl for several minutes. The crowd is rabidly behind Mai and Eco and boo everything that Moose and Fire do. The end finally comes when Moose drops Mai with a package piledriver on the apron. Then slides in and blindsides Eco. Moose lifts him on his shoulders and hits the GTSF! Fire then comes off the top rope with the BEST FIRESAULT EVER! Moose kicks Mai in the face to keep her from coming in, Fire covers and gets the three count and the win! WINNERS in 33:11 – technically, Firewoman & Eco
Russ: What the hell is going on here tonight? Razz: Fire pinned her partner, that she turned on during the match, and she AND Eco get the win? Nash: Is Russo booking this shit? Russ: Wait a minute, it seems like there is more to this story…….[/i]
<Fire and Moose celebrate as Mai checks on her brother, helping him to his feet. They both look at their partners for the match with shock at their betrayals. Fire shakes her hand free after the referee raises and grabs the microphone from the announcer.>
FW: Juni, Juni, Juni...didn't I tell you? Didn't I warn you? We even talked about people who make themselves your friends, only to stab you in the back at the end? Shouldn't that have been your FIRST CLUE?
<Ecosystem asks her what she's talking about.>
FW: I did it, Juni...."Sensei".....I got that call from the board.....It's true, that Nate is out as CEO, but they didn't put you in...no no....They put ME IN!
<Ecosystem is beside himself, and Mai starts to jaw at Fire. Fire simply puts up a "Talk to the Hand" and continues.>
FW: That's right, Juni. See, we Quinns are way more patient than most people give us credit for, and I have been looking for a way to get even with you ever since I left Trinity. Oh sure, I set you on Fire in the ring, which was a bit of emotional release, but it doesn't really get you where you live, you know? I can't say as I was planning it since then, but when I saw the opportunity to make the board see that we need a change at the top, I knew that this was the perfect plan. To befriend you, and then take your company....your LEGACY....take that from you and leave you with NOTHING.
<The crowd is now booing this. Moose signals to the back and 13 comes down carrying what we find out is a Saints T-shirt that is just Firewoman-sized. She puts it on, and the boos start big-time.>
FW: Now, I did have to keep some folks in the dark about this, although my brother here knew all along. I hope they'll forgive me, and come on out here, so I can introduce them as not only my comrades in Saints of Sinners, but as my NEW CABINET~!
<"The Saints" by Helloween plays and a confused Matt, Stan, and Stank come down the aisle.>
FW: May I introduce you to my new CFO, Stan Fulton (*boos from crowd*), COO Matt Folz (*more boos*) and CAO Lucas Mann (*still an unbelievable amount of boos*)
<Matt, Stan, and Stank, look around at each other and at Moose and Fire.>
FW: Now, there will be a need for some restructuring of the board, so Lucky has done some buying and selling of OOWF stock, so that I have a majority, and the rest of the board's services will no longer be required so--
<Fire is interrupted suddenly by this:
...and John Ross Ewing emerges at the top of the ramp, along with Nate and the rest of the board. The crowd doesn't really know how to react to this. He tips his hat towards Firewoman.>
JRE: Now then, Ms. Firewoman, you were totally correct to call our attention to Nate's failings as CEO. But your man Lucky is not as slick as he thinks, and when we realized the stocks were moving hands at an unusually high rate, well now, we had to look into that.
<Firewoman stares up the ramp at him. Ecosystem and Mai have started to limp their way up the ramp.>
JRE: So once I saw what was going on, I figured that this was your play. C'mon, darlin'...my daddy taught me better than that, and you should've know that.
FW: What's your point, John Ross?
JRE: My point is that while you did get your revenge on Ecosystem for his mistreatment of you and damn near everyone else in the company at some point, I had a little bit of my own revenge to get. So if Mr. Gutierrez checks that stock portfolio, he'll find that those shares you thought you had, are not quite enough to do much of anything you were planning on, and this here board will stay right as they are.
<Firewoman and Moose both protest, and the rest of the Saints, while still not sure what's going on, protest in unity with Moose and Fire. Ecosystem and Mai have made it to the top of the ramp.>
JRE: Well, with some changes. Nate here is, officially, no longer CEO. That much you did accomplish.
FW: Oh, well, who is the new CEO....you?
JRE: Oh, no, darlin', I got a oil company to run. No, I think the new CEO will be who it should have been all along...Mr. Junichiro "Ecosystem" Muyo!
<The crowd pops huge for this, as Firewoman is now nearly insane with rage. Moose is close behind. Firewoman makes a move like she's going to go up the ramp after him, but Stank grabs a hold of her to keep her from doing something stupid. Ecosystem is so shocked he nearly misses shaking John Ross's hand, but he does eventually.>
JR: Now, Juni, this CEO position comes with a few strings. First of all, and you will have to sign this for it to be official, there will be no punitive actions taken against the Saints beyond the due punishments they deserve for breaking OOWF rules.
<Eco signs the paper and plays to the crowd>
JR: One more thing. The board insists that, as long as you are to remain CEO, you must retire as an in-ring performer.
<Eco, and the crowd, are stunned>
JR: I’m sorry, but there’s been too many instances of you using your power to benefit your career inside the ring. This is a must.
<Eco takes a moment to think about it, then signs the paper. The crowd starts a PLEASE DON’T GO! PLEASE DON’T GO! Chant. Eco steps part way down the ramp so the crowd can see him, then takes a bow. The crowd erupts with applause and rises as one for a standing ovation. Inside the ring, the Saints SEETHE with rage. Mai hugs her brother and they head to the entrance, pause again, Juni waves again, then disappears to the back. The Saints huddle in the ring for a moment, then leave the ring to a chorus of laughter and boossteps part way down the ramp so the crowd can see him, then takes a bow. The crowd erupts with applause and rises as one for a standing ovation. Inside the ring, the Saints SEETHE with rage. Mai hugs her brother and they head to the entrance, pause again, Juni waves again, then disappears to the back. The Saints huddle in the ring for a moment, then leave the ring to a chorus of laughter and boos>
Razz: Junichiro Muyo just retired? Seriously, what is going on here tonight? Russ: I have to say, this has been the most surprising pay per view I have ever been a part of Nash: It’s close, I was on a pay per view once where Zach Gowan beat Brock Lesnar for the World Heavyweight Title Russ: What pay per view was THIS? Nash: Oh, it was a Canadian pay per view, you’ve probably never heard of it, only shown in Canada Razz: Uh huh Nash: Are you calling me a liar? Razz: I am Nash: Well, maybe we should just take this out back then? Razz: Calm down killer, I don’t want you to tear something and not be able to finish the pay per view Russ: When you two are done bickering like children, next up we have a fatal four way for the OOWF Intercontinental title. Zed defends against Stank, Bridget O’Malley and Stank Nash: How did BRICK~! allow this match to stand? Zed is at a CLEAR disadvantage in this match! Russ: That’s the point, if he wants to prove himself as Intercontinental champion, he has to survive this. Looks like we are ready to go, let’s head to the ring!
STANK vs. BRIDGET O’MALLEY vs. KYLIE MIGNOLIO vs. ZED – OOWF Intercontinental Title Fatal Four Way
Stank, Bridget and Kylie are announced and make their way to the ring. Zed is announced next and he comes to the ring with BRICK~! The champion slides into the ring and waits in the corner. The bell rings and Zed immediately sneaks behind Bridget and rolls her up with a handful of tights! Zed gets a two count before Kylie grabs him and pulls him off Bridget. Kylie whips Zed to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Zed ducks. He runs right into Stank who catches him and drives him to the mat with a belly to belly suplex! Stank covers, but Bridget and Kylie pull him off of Zed. Zed rolls to the floor where he is comforted by BRICK~!
Stank gets to his feet and Bridget charges at him, Stank catches her with a right hook that sends Bridget to the mat holding her jaw. Kylie lands a drop kick on Stank’s knee, dropping him to one knee on the mat. Kylie grabs Stank and hits a short DDT and covers, but Stank kicks out at two. Kylie spins to her feet, and as she stands up, Bridget explodes out of the corner and nearly cuts her in half with a SPEAR! Bridget covers, but Kylie kicks out at two.
Both women spin to their feet as Stank gets to his feet and Zed hops on the apron. Bridget and Kylie hit them BOTH with superkicks, Zed flies off the apron and slams into the guardrail while Stand falls between the ropes to the floor.
Kylie and Bridget turn to one another and shake hands, then proceed to put on a show of counters and chain wrestling, the crowd is way into this and they are cheering wildly. After a series of moves, Bridget and Kylie spin to their feet as the crowd pops big. Just as they do that, Stank and Zed are back into the ring and attack them both from behind. Zed drops Kylie to the mat, then lands several hard knees to her face. Kylie falls over backward and Zed covers, but Stank breaks free of Bridget and kicks Zed in the face breaking up the pin.
Bridget climbs to the middle rope and tries a clothesline on Stank, but Stank catches her and DRIVES her onto his knee, then shoves her to the mat. Stank grabs Bridget for a STANK BOMB, but Zed hits Stank with a SUPERKICK that sends the big man reeling to the corner. Stank walks out of the corner and he and Zed start arguing. Zed swings, but Stank catches him with an atomic drop that sends him to the ropes, on the rebound Stank elevates Zed and as he falls he connects with a knee to the face, a modified GTS. Zed’s head snaps back and he falls to the mat, before Stank can cover, BRICK~! reaches into the ring and pulls Zed to safety.
Stank turns around and Bridget and Kylie are on their feet and they take him down with DOUBLE ELIMINATION! They both stand there debating who should make the pin, they do a quick rock, paper scissors, Bridget wins and covers Stank, but he kicks out at two! As Bridget is getting to her feet, Kylie hits a standing shooting star press and gets a two count of her own. Kylie heads to one corner and Bridget to the other and they go for double leg drops but Stank rolls out of the way and they both crash and burn! Stank grabs Kylie and hits a turnbuckle power bomb! Kylie falls to the mat and rolls to the floor. Bridget charges at Stank and hit hits her with a STANK-U! Stank remains on his feet, a little dazed.
Outside the ring, we see BRICK~! hand Zed something, Zed hides it and slips back into the ring and NAILS Stank right on the back of the head! Stank drops like he’s been shot! Zed pulls Bridget to her feet and ties her in the tree of woe, then falls on Stank, hiding the brass knucks again, the referee hits the mat, one…….two……..THREE! WINNER in 25:55 – and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion – Zed!
Zed beats a hasty retreat from the ring and heads through the crowd with BRICK~! while the rest of the Saints limp their way to ringside. Bridget frees herself and slips out of the ring and helps Kylie to her feet, then helps her to the back. The Saints help Stank to his feet, the big man is still on rubber legs here, but they help him to the back.
Russ: Not a great night for the Saints of Sinners Razz: I am sure that is breakin’ the people’s hearts Nash: They DID retain the tag titles….. Russ: True. Now, I wonder if Mac Flasher can fight off Jack Bullet and retain the OOWF World Heavyweight title? Razz: Since coming back from his suspension, Bullet has been ON FIRE! Nash: He cleaned up at the awards last night, I would be asking for a raise if I were Bullet Razz: If you were Bullet you would be injured Nash: Getting’ real tired of your lip little man Razz: Hey, you know where the parking lot is big man, you want me to call someone from the back to get you a motorized scooter so you can get back there without hurting yourself? <the two are about to come to blows when Russ interrupts> Russ: If you two could keep it civil for one more match, we are ready for our main event of the evening
JACK BULLET vs. MAC FLASHER – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Mike Elevenbee stands in the ring with a general crowd noise behind him.
ME: Our main event for the evening is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Introducing first, the challenger, at a weight of 215 pounds from Des Moines, Iowa, “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet.
“Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent plays and the crowd erupts into cheers. Bullet enters with his all black ring attire and silver hair slicked back. He slaps high fives with fans, but his eyes are glued on the ring, as he marches down the aisle.
Russ: The 2018 Wrestler of the Year and Face of the Year makes his way to the ring and he’ll be facing the World Champion Mac Flasher. Win all the awards you want, the title belt is the one that really matters. Razz: The two made a formidable team to challenge the Saints and Sinners, but I knew it wouldn’t last. The two exploded into brawling at the end of Mayhem and I look for that to continue tonight. Russ: We would like to apologize for the lack of Kevin Nash, it seems he has decided he didn’t want to do commentary anymore, I am sure there will be consequences for that! Razz: GOOD!
ME: And from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, at a weight of 225 pounds, the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Mac Flasher.
“I Get Wet” by Andrew W.K. plays and the world champion enters with the title around his waist. The fans cheer even louder than they did for Bullet. Flasher slaps hands as he makes his way to the ring, maybe a little more jovial and less focused than his opponent.
Russ: I don’t think we’re going to see this erupt into a brawl, Razz. Both these men have a bit of a temper to them, but they’re also virtuous competitors who won’t stoop to underhanded deeds. With the bloodshed and violence we’ve seen tonight, a real wrestling match might be in danger of breaking out.
Referee Davis Hightower calls for the bell. Bullet steps to the middle of the ring and extends his hand. Flasher looks at it for a moment. The fans roar for him to take it. Flasher gives Bullet a firm shake and the fans cheer louder.
Razz: I think I’m going to be sick.
The two men circle each other and lockup. Flasher has the height advantage, but as he presses down on Bullet, he moves quickly behind with a hammerlock. Flasher drops to his knees, grabs Jack’s head with his free hand and snapmares him out of the hammerlock to the mat. He goes for a chinlock, but Bullet quickly slides out and rolls across the ring and to his feet. Flasher stands. The two rush into each other and lockup again.
Bullet can’t negotiate around Mac this time and Flasher backs him into the near corner. Hightower calls for the clean break and gets it. Jack nods his appreciation and comes out of the corner. Flasher is ready for another lockup, but Jack goes low with a shoulder block and pushes Flasher into the far corner. Hightower calls for the break and gets it. Mac nods his appreciation.
Russ: Parity established early on here. Razz: Or do you mean parody? Because this is a parody of what we’ve come to expect her in the OOWF. Russ: You mean actual wrestling. Razz: I mean a better sleep aide than Nyquil.
Flasher comes out of the corner into a lockup. Bullet scores a side headlock out of that. Flasher pushes him off into the ropes. Mac bends over for a backdrop. Bullet leapfrogs Flasher and goes into the opposite ropes. Mac drops flat and Jack skips over him. Flasher gets up, tries to hip toss Jack as he comes back. He blocks and gets his own hip toss. Bullet drops into a rear chinlock with his knee in Mac’s back.
Razz: Wake me when this gets interesting.
Flasher kicks the mat and waves his arms to get the fans going. He gets his legs under him and pushes up. Bullet breaks and goes back into the ropes. Mac surprises with a discus clothesline and Jack goes to the mat. He drops an elbow, but Jack rolls out of the way. Bullet tries to kick Mac as he goes to stand, but Flasher grabs the foot. He waves his finger as if to say ‘not today.’
Bullet kicks off his other foot for an enzuigiri. Flasher ducks it. Bullet twists to face away from Mac, drops low and fires backwards with a mule kick. It catches Flasher in the gut and he trips back into the ropes. Bullet rushes and leaps for a flying cross body. Mac drops low and Bullet flies out of the ring. He tucks as he comes down and jams his knee into the floor.
Russ: Jack Bullet comes up limping. He might have hurt himself and that could spell disaster for him. Razz: Now I’m awake. I don’t like either of these guys, but pain is pain.
Flasher rolls to the floor and brings Bullet up by the head. Jack rears back to break free and chops Flasher in the chest. The fans ‘woo.’ Flasher fires a chop back. The fans ‘woo.’ Bullet is not putting much weight on his left leg, Mac notices this. Flasher fires a kick to the leg and Bullet winces. Flasher goes low, hooks the leg and gives a kneebreaker on the floor. Bullet flops down. Mac rolls under the bottom rope back to the ring.
Russ: Bullet will certainly be favoring that knee now. Razz: If Flasher’s smart, you go for the count out here and retain the title on the champion’s advantage. Russ: I don’t think he’s going to do that, it’s not his way. Razz: Like I said, it’s what he would do if he was smart.
Hightower gets to eight as Jack slides back into the ring. Flasher stays back and gauges Bullet as he pulls himself up by the ropes. Mac moves in. Bullet drop to one knee and punches Flasher in the gut. While stunned, Jack moves into him and gets an atomic drop. Flasher stands in pain, Bullet grabs his wrist and bring him in for a short arm clothesline. Flasher goes down. Bullet rubs his knee and walks a little to work it out. Bullet leans over and pulls Flasher up by the head. He tries to hook him for a suplex, but Flasher ducks under the arm and pushes down and forward while grabbing the bad knee. The two go to the mat and roll over. Flasher scores a rolling inverted knee bar. Bullet’s head is in the mat, Mac has his arms around the top of the leg and his legs are in a triangle around the ankle.
Russ: Beautiful rolling inverted knee bar by the champion. He’s looking to work on the injured body part. Razz: I wonder what video game he got that from.
Bullet has nowhere to go. Flasher clamps down on the move. Hightower asks if Jack wants to submit. He says no. Flasher clamps down more and Jack still says no. Bullet has superior upper body strength to Flasher. Jack pushes up on his arms and forces himself back. The pair rolls over. Bullet bridges with his palms pressed against the mat, but with the knee bar still locked. This turns it into a pinning predicament and Hightower counts to two, but Flasher lets go and slips out from under Bullet.
The two stand and circle each other, Bullet noticeably limping. They lock up with Bullet getting a side headlock. Flasher backdrops out. They both try to come up fast, but Mac is faster. He grabs Bullet and throws him into the near ropes. He comes off fast and Flasher puts him down with a back elbow. He then drops an elbow to the bad knee and locks in a knee bar. Mac cranks back too far on it and Jack is able to grab his head into a rear naked choke. Flasher lets go and so does Bullet.
As they come up, Flasher shoots Jack into the ropes again. Mac drops low and scores a single leg trip as Bullet runs by. Flasher grabs the ankle and locks in a single leg Boston Crab. He leans back and places his weight into Bullet’s lower back.
Russ: Flasher doing various holds to work the knee. Bullet finds a way out, but Mac tries something else trying to find just the right one. Razz: All the time every move is weakening the knee just that much more. Hate to admit it for Flasher, but picking out a body part and working it is always a smart tactic.
Bullet tries to push himself up, but Mac’s weight is too much. He tries to crawl to the ropes, but Mac’s weight is too much for that as well. Hightower asks Bullet if he wants to submit, he refuses. He continues to struggle against the champion. Flasher starts to lose his grip on the wiggling Jack, so he stands and slams his knee into the canvas. Bullet flops over and grabs his knee.
Flasher pulls Bullet up for a whip into the ropes, but he reverses. Mac comes off with a flying crossbody. He lays on top for a two count. Bullets presses Mac off who goes over the bottom rope to the floor. Flasher quickly takes the apron and cuts Bullet off with a shoulder thrust through the ropes as he stands and turns. Jack doubles over and Flasher slingshots back into the ring with a sunset flip for another two count. Bullet rolls out and to his feet. Flasher charges with a clothesline. Bullet ducks, grabs Flasher by the waist and pushes him into the ropes for an O’Connor Roll. Flasher grabs the top rope to block. Bullet flops back and rolls over to his feet. He charges, Flasher drops low and pulls the top rope, but Jack guesses this and goes low himself with a basement dropkick. Mac goes through the ropes and bumps to the floor. Bullet lays on the canvas and rubs his knee. Flasher stands.
He grabs Jack by the ankle and drags him to the floor. Bullet hops on one leg. Flasher hooks him up and hoists for a suplex, but Bullets slips out and pushes Flasher into the outside ring post. Flasher takes it in the shoulder. Bullet runs for a crossbody, but Flasher ducks out of the way and Bullet bangs his knee on the metal steps.
Russ: That could be the nail in the coffin right there. That bad knee taking more damage.
Bullet crawls away and carefully stands as Flasher catches up to him. Bullet isn’t putting any pressure on his left leg now. Flasher rushes at him, Jack goes down and hits a drop toehold. Flasher bangs his face on the floor. Bullet pulls himself up by the apron and gets back into the ring as Hightower hits nine on his count. He rolls back out to reset the count for both men.
Razz: At least Bullet knows a count out victory does him no good here. He can’t win the belt that way and that’s been his single focus since return from suspension. I still don’t like the guy, but I have to give him credit to jettisoning the dead weight of Josie and Kylie for more important concerns.
Bullet pulls Flasher up from behind with a waistlock. Mac breaks it with a back elbow to the head. He turns and comes down with a forearm to the back. He throws Jack into the ring and follows. Mac slingshots in with a splash and covers for two. He pulls Bullet up by the head, hooks him and hoists him for the Flash Drive, but Bullet drops out behind Mac and gets a neckbreaker.
Russ: Desperation move to avoid the Flash Drive, but can Bullet capitalize.
Bullet pulls Flasher up with a double underhook for the old Silver Bullet, but he pushes forward and drives Jack back first into the near corner. Mac gets a front waistlock, pulls Bullet slightly out of the corner and slings backwards with the Clemente Bridge Suplex. One…two…thre…he can’t hold the bridge.
Mac pulls Jack up by the head and looks for the Flash Drive again, but Bullet blocks and reverses into a suplex. He holds on and brings Mac to his feet for another suplex try, but Mac twists out and gets the Duquesne Incline. He falls backwards on top of Bullet for a one…two…thre…shoulder up.
Flasher pulls Jack up and goes for the Flash Drive a third time. Bullet slips out from behind again, but Mac is expecting it and drops low while spinning for a sweep kick. He catches the bad leg and Bullet goes down. Flasher scores the figure four leglock. The fans pop. Bullet howls in pain, but refuses to submit. Flasher cranks back on the hold. Bullet falls back to the mat and Hightower counts. One…two…thre…he pops back up. Jack falls again. One…two…thre…he pops back up. Jack rolls his arm in the air to get the fans into it. They start cheering. Jack manages to reverse the figure four. Flasher breaks off. They stand. Mac rushes forward and straight into a super kick. He goes down, but Jack planted on the bad leg and goes down himself. He pulls himself across the mat slowing, dragging his leg behind him. He covers for one…two…thre…Flasher kicks out.
Bullet pulls Flasher up for the Action Driver piledriver. Because of the bad leg he is having a hard time getting Flasher up. Mac backdrops out. He goes into the ropes. Bullet stands and presses a shoulder into Flasher as he comes off the ropes for the Action Drop Samoan Drop. He covers for one…two…thre…Flasher kicks out.
Jack lines up the piledriver again. Flasher reverses, pulls Bullet up and hits a package piledriver. He covers for one…two…thre…Bullet barely gets the shoulder up.
Russ: Will anything put the Silver Eagle down. Razz: Maybe a good chair shot to the bad leg.
Flasher is getting frustrated. He pulls Bullet up and fires off three chops to get three ‘woos.’ This just serves to wake Jack up and he fires back three chops for three woos. The two start trading chops, then trading punches. Flasher whips Bullet into the ropes. He ducks under a clothesline and comes off the other side with a flying crossbody. Because of the bad leg, there’s not much on the move and Flasher is able to grab him. He drops Bullet across his knee with a backbreaker. He keeps a hold of him as he stands and swings him out into a side slam. He covers for one…two…thre…Bullet kicks out.
Flasher pulls Jack up and goes for the Flash Drive again. Bullet blocks and falls back for a small package. One…two…thre…Flasher rolls him over. One…two…thre…They break off and both come up hot. However, Bullet comes up low into Mac for another Action Drop. He covers for one…two…thre…Flasher kicks out.
They race up again. Flash Drive try is reversed into the Action Buster. He covers for one…two…thre…Bullet pulls Flasher up for the piledriver. Mac reverses looking for his own piledriver, Bullet re-reverses. Flasher backdrops out. Bullet lands on his feet, fires off a super kick as Mac turns around. The leg collapses, Bullet falls on top. One…two…three!
ME: Your winner and NEW OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet. WINNER in 55:18 and NEW OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION – “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet
The fans cheer loud for Bullet. Hightower hands Jack the World Title. Bullet holds it in his left hand, while Hightower raises his right in victory. Bullet hops on one leg. Flasher comes around. He stands. He pushes Hightower away and spins Jack around. The fans stop cheering to see what is going to happen. Tensions hands in the air, then Mac pulls Bullet in and hugs him. Mac raises his hand in victory and points at him. The fans cheer.
Russ: That sound you hear is Razz throwing up into a trash can. Razz: Blaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh!
Flasher salutes Jack and then rolls out of the ring, allowing him to bask in the glory of the crowd as the image fades.
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF New Year’s Evil 12, December 31st, LIVE! from Makaklio City, Hawaii! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! October 3rd live! From Raleigh, North Carolina