[Moosehead Jack]

MidWeek Mayhem (#885)
Live! From Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic
October 24, 2018

Random Tag Tournament Semi-Finals
Kylie Mignolio & Bridget O'Malley vs. Stank & Justin Sane
Awesome Bill From Dawsonville & Alexis Darling vs. The Circle

Alexander Darling vs. Stan Fulton vs. Zed
Matt Folz vs. Shizuru
Jack Bullet & Mac Flasher vs. Nick Fleming & Trent Powers
Ecosystem & Mai Muyo vs. Moosehead Jack & Firewoman

card subject to an aftershock - wasn't there just an earthquake here a few weeks ago?

[snelson66]

CUT to a montage of images showing Mac Flasher and Jack Bullet fighting and arguing. A voice speaks over the images.

“Mac Flasher and Jack Bullet are not friends. Yet they expect your support this Wednesday. Why would you support two enemies when you can support Nick Fleming and Trent Powers.

“Nick Fleming and Trent Powers have never had an argument with each other. Nick Fleming and Trent Powers just want to wrestle. Mac Flasher and Jack Bullet do not want to wrestle. They want to fight. Preferably with each other.

“Trent Powers is a man who wants to get things done. Nick Fleming is a man who’s shown he gets things done. Support Trent Powers and Nick Fleming at the Santo Domingo Sports Arena.

“Powers/Fleming. Men who get things done.”

Text on the bottom of the screen says, ‘This ad paid for by the Jack Bullet is Still a Bully and Hates Eagles Committee, Nick Fleming Treasurer.’

FADE

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman is absent-mindedly throwing her shiny knife at something just off camera, and it hits it with a dull *thwack* She leans off camera to retrieve it. Lucky comes in looking a bit nervous.

FW: *without looking up* What?

L: Well, um...I was looking at the Iceland marriage laws, and--

FW: And? *thwack*

L: Everything's fine and all, and it will be legally recognized in the US and everywhere else....

FW: *thwack* Why do I feel there's a "but" coming?

L: Because there is.

FW: .... *thwack*

L: ....

FW: Are you going to share it with me?

L: Yes, but...well, don't be mad.

FW: *thwack*

For the first time Fire glares sideways up at him, before going back to whatever it is she is doing, which only seems to make Lucky MORE nervous.

L: Okay, well...they need some paperwork to be delivered there before the wedding.

FW: Like?

L: Well *flipping through his clipboard* Your passports, for one.

FW: No problem we always have those with us *thwack*

L: Original birth certificates of both parties--

FW: Originals?

L: They give 'em back afterwards...a certificate of marital status, copy of your divorce decree from Alex--

FW: Where is--

L: Don't worry, I have that.

FW: *thwack*

L: Something that says "If bride/groom is a widower, a document detailing that the estate of the deceased has been divided/finalized." We don't need that.

FW: True....*thwack*

L: And ummm...well here is where you might get mad.

FW: Uh-huh.

L: Something called a "certificate of marital status, that needs to be issued within 8 weeks prior to the wedding date."

FW: ....

Fire stops whatever she is doing.

FW: What the fuck is that?

L: I'm not sure....

FW: EIGHT WEEKS?

L: Fire--

FW: We set the date for NOVEMBER 7!

L: I know...

FW: That is...*counts on fingers* THREE WEEKS FROM NOW!

L: I'm aware--

FW: Well, why the HELL weren't you AWARE of it sooner?

L: Well because I was just now Googling "marriage in Iceland" to do a completely different kind of promo and--

Kayfabe comes in but beats feet when she sees Fire point her knife at her.

FW: You REALLY suck with wedding paperwork.

L: Technically it was annulment paperwork, previously, and that's because--

FW: I know why because. *Sigh* Well, do your magic, and maybe it means no LONGER than eight weeks ago--- *THWACK*

Fire has ramped up the intensity of her knife throwing game.

L: I think that's probably what this means....

FW: *sigh* Anything else?

L: Something called a "hjónavígsluskýrsla."

FW: *stopping mid-knife throw*....a what?

L: let me try this 'translate' button.....ah, it's a marriage notification

FW: What's that?

L: Looks like a form where you fill out your names and ...oh it's like a marriage license.

FW: Oh...well...I guess....wait, so what's the problem?

L: Umm....

FW: Don't tell me everything needs to be translated into Icelandic. *THWACK*

L: No, no it's just....

FW: ....

L: They need to be there at least 3 weeks before the wedding date.

FW: ....

L: ....

FW: That's like....

L: I know....

FW: YESTERDAY!

L: I know...

FW: ...

L: I can scan them in and email them as long as we have the originals there in hand no later than 5 days before.

FW: .....

L: I've already talked to the embassy over there, and he thinks that if I can get them the stuff today then that will be okay given our, um, unique traveling circumstances.

FW: ....

L: Please say something.

FW: Well...I guess you have a very long night ahead of you. Because, if you screw this up--

L: I know, I'm fired.

FW: No, then you're next on the wheel.

The camera pans back and we see a large rotating wheel that has Shizuru tied to it. It's rotating and Fire is throwing her knife at him and hitting the wood every time, although occasionally coming close to an arm or a leg or... you get the picture.

L: On it.

Lucky scurries off to get to work.  Fire turns back to the wheel and throws the knife one last time HARD and it lands in the space right between Shizuru's legs. Fire yawns, bored with her game, and stops the wheel from rotating. She takes the knife and cuts Shizuru free and he dizzily drops to the ground.

FW: Now...what do you say?

Shiz: Josie is a little girl and is not to be joked about in that way in order to annoy Kylie or anyone else.

FW: Very good. Now shoo.

Shizuru gets up, still dizzy, and staggers out of the room. Firewoman rubs her templesand then the bridge of her nose before placing a phone call.

FW: Lucas?....yeah, you're not going to believe this...

FADE

[Fire-Babe]

Twelve hours later, Lucky comes in and he has bags under his eyes, clearly having been up all night, as instructed, to get Fire and Stank's wedding paperwork in order and sent to Iceland. He got bags in his hands, too. Fire takes the coffee he has brought her, takes a sip, closes her eyes as it takes effect. She finally opens her eyes and looks up at him.

FW: Well?

L: Everything all sent, and faxed, including an extra letter from the ambassador to hopefully expedite things and--

FW: HOPEFULLY?

L: Yes, which is why--

FW: Wait, why do you have luggage?

L: If you'd SHUT UP for a minute, I'm trying to tell you.

FW: ...

L: Sheesh.

FW: ....

L: ANYWAY, I'm going there NOW to hand deliver the originals well before the 5-day deadline, and do whatever last minute negotiations I have to in person, so....what?

FW: You're....leaving?

L: That's generally how one--

FW: But...but....

L: You'll be fine.

FW: How will I...who's going to bring me my coffee?

L: I dunno, Lucas? that's why I--

FW: He doesn't do it right.

L: What's to do?

FW: Lucky, I like my morning coffee in a very particular way and--

L: Black and hot. It's not difficult. Anyway, I arranged it so--

FW: What about my appearance schedule? How will I know where to be when?

L: You know, you COULD use the calendar on your phone. I program all your appointments in there.

FW: I turn off the beeps.

L: Of course...well, there's the paper book calendar that Davin sends you EVERY CHRISTMAS with a note explaining how to use it and how it will let you be less dependent on me.

FW: But then what would I need you for?

L: I think that's the point.

FW: ...

L: Fire, don't pout. I've arranged for someone to take care of you for the next couple of weeks while I'm gone.

FW: Who.

Justin Sane comes in.

FW: Really?

JS: Hey, Mrs. Boss Lady.

L: Well, see you in Iceland!

Lucky walks out, and despite being exhausted, there's a bit of a spring in his step. Justin and Fire look at each other.

JS: So, can I--

Firewoman just gives him five bucks and shakes her head.

[Moosehead Jack]

<we cut to the OOWF training center where Moose and Fire are in the process of destroying another set of jobbers. They quickly dispatch of the two they are fighting then call for another pair to get into the ring. The siblings practice their team work, and it goes nearly flawlessly. They hit the last poor unfortunate worker with a Buisaku knee/Moosekiller combo and call for more, but the trainer says there is no one left. Moose and Fire snarl and leave the ring where SFJ21 is waiting>

FW: Who the hell are you?

SFJ21: I am relatively new and <looking at Moose and Fire> somewhat terrified

FW: <standing close and running her fingers across SFJ21's cheek> you should be. Now, what do you want?

SFJ21: <trying to regain her composure as the OOWF banner falls behind her> I am here with Moosehead Jack and Firewoman who team for the first time as members of the Saints of Sinners this Wednesday when they face Ecosystem and Mai Muyo. Fire, your plan to take Eco's company didn't exactly go as planned, this week you have a shot at revenge....

FW: My dearest Juni. Congratulations, you managed to do something that few people have done, you got one over on the Quinns. I hope you and your sister have had a nice meal, a good thick steak with all the works, and celebrated your accomplishment because after this week, you will be taking all your food through a straw.

SFJ21: Moose, you've been very quiet since Hell on Earth, even when you were teaming with your arch-enemy Alexander Darling. Would you like to comment on that?

MHJ: No, no I would not. I teamed with Alex because I was forced to. I didn't leave Alex gutted in the middle of the ring because I was forced NOT to. Right now, Alexander fucking Darling doesn't matter to me. <Moose looks directly into the camera> Mai Muyo. <shaking his head> You know, it's dangerous enough that you made an enemy of your former best friends in Stan, Matt and Fire........but you crossed me. I will admit Mai, you had me. I genuinely thought you had realized that your brother was a worthless piece of shit. I genuinely thought you had found your path, a path that would have led you to greater success than you've ever known.

But that isn't how it was meant to be, was it? Eco, your history with my sister and I is well documented, but people forget you crossed ME long before Fire was ever in the picture. Mai.......what I have in store for you will make what I do to Darling look like nothing. You remember what I said on the roof that night? Well now my sister and I are on the same page and I promise you, when Clan Quinn is done with you, they are going to ship the Muyos back to Japan in ziplock bags.

FW: Trust us

MHJ: <to the trainer> GO GET US MORE WORKERS, NOW!

<Moose and Fire climb back into the ring and we fade>

[snelson66]

FADE in on the Destroyatorium. Sitting around a table are Stank, Matt Folz and Stan Fulton. There are cards on the table and drinks (both non-alcoholic and the opposite) near each person. There are also two empty chairs with drinks in front of them.

MF: “This was a bad idea.”

S: “I said that before this started.”

SF: “C’mon. I thought it would be fun. And a nice bonding experience. We do have different members now.”

MF: “This was your great bonding idea? Sitting around playing Uno?”

SF: “Well I wanted to play Munchkin, but no one else wanted to. Or Betrayal at House on the Hill. That one I thought would appeal more to Fire.”

Folz sighs.

MF: “I could be in bed with my wife.”

SF: “So could I. But we’re here.”

S: “Waiting for Moose and Fire to get done beating up jobbers.”

There’s a lull while the three men stare at the table and sip their drinks.

SF: “Want to play Yahtzee?”

FADE

[Leo]

Voicemail from Jack Bullet's phone 4 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 23.

*BEEP*

Hey, Jackie Boy, it's Carl. No, not that Carl. Carl from Fresno. I know you don’t want to affiliate with BRICK~! anymore, but I think I could do those political ad things he’s been doing for you. Check this out (clears his throat and lowers his voice) Nick Fleming wears women’s shoes and sucks the sweat off of a dead man’s balls. Brought you to by the Nick Fleming Doesn’t Care that Roman Reigns has Leukemia Association, all rights reserved.

Eh, I’m still working on it. Call me back, it's Carl...from Fresno.

*BEEP*

[Leo]

BRICK~! sits in a hotel lobby and files his nails like a prima donna. Mac Flasher, Bridget O’Malley and Kylie Mignolio come up and stand over him.

MF: Where’s Jack. None of us have seen him since last Wednesday and he’s not answering his phone.

BRICK~!: Why would you think I know where he’s at?

Kylie leans over and gets in his face.

BRICK~!: Because you’ve been messing with his head and trying to crawl back into his good graces. He wins the World Championship and all of a sudden he’s interesting to you again.

BRICK~! puts the file in his jacket pocket and looks up at Kylie, appearing as unimpressed as possible.

BRICK~!: Jack Bullet is a Better Man for a Better OOWF. He always has been and I always knew that. But I also knew that he couldn’t take the pressure of being World Champion. He just wants to get in the ring and wrestle and that’s about the least important thing a World Champion has to deal with. You want to know where Jack Bullet is, I’ll tell you. He’s off somewhere hidden trying to convince himself he doesn’t need me when he deep down knows he does. He doesn’t want the truth and neither do you three. Because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me handling the dirty bits, you need me handling the dirty bits. You use words like honor, code, loyalty. These are not concepts, but trophies I keep in my den as paperweights. All the Nick Flemings and Stan Fultons and Moosehead Jacks in the world are dirty sons of bitches who walk through cemeteries and piss on graves for something to do. Jack Bullet can’t understand that, but I can. So, if you all want to help Jack out, find what bottle he’s crawled into this time and tell him how much he needs me to keep him out of the next one.

BRICK~! stands and walks off as the trio are in stunned silence.

[Leo]

Jack Bullet trips along a cracked sidewalk in the Dominican Republic carrying an almost empty bottle of Mama Juana, a native alcohol concocted by allowing rum, red wine and honey to soak in a bottle with tree bark and herbs. He sings with a drunken slur.

JB: Jackie, Jackie Bullet King-ing of the OOWF!

He passes by an open door with a dark-skinned woman of an indeterminate age standing in a doorway. She wears a plain dress and has her hair done up with a purple scarf. Her eyes are almost golden in color.
Woman: Can I read your future for you?

JB: Baby, my future is all used up.

Woman: And what makes you say that.

JB: Well, you know what they say about the man who got everything he ever wanted.

Woman: That he lived happily ever after?

JB: Fuck no, he got waylaid by fake political ads and talking bricks and human wrecking balls and some jackass who gets a title shot as soon as he walks in the door, because fuck you that’s why.

Woman: Well, maybe you didn’t get everything you wanted. You only think you did.

JB: I’m the OOWF World Champion, what more is there.

She laughs slightly.

Woman: More, much more. Why don’t you come in and let me show you. The cards never lie.

She enters the doorway and Bullet follows her. He sits down at a table and lets his bottle fall to the floor. The woman sits on the other side of the table and pulls out a tarot deck. The deck is shuffled and cut. She flips up the first card.

Woman: This is the Fool. This is you.

JB: (while laughing) Damn straight.

Woman: The fool is not bad. We are all the fool in our story. The fool symbolizes a new cycle. Where you go from here and who you encounter from here will be the path of the new cycle.

She flips the next card.

Woman: This is the Empress. She represents the relationship you have with women. There is a special woman in your life, but the card is upside down, symbolizing the relationship is upside down. As this is the first card of you cycle this person must be the first you must straighten things out with.

She flips the next card.

This is the Chariot. This card is about controlling your emotions. It’s about how you relate to home and family. Coming after the Empress it tells me that this woman is the one who can help you find your home and family and control your emotions.

She flips the next card.

This is the Devil. He is the one that can come between you and the Empress and keep you from taking the reins of the Chariot. Will he be successful, will the Devil win you over? Let’s see.

She flips the next card.

This is death, but not physical death. It’s the death of the ego, the death of before. It shows us that the Devil will bring about the death of you were into who you will become. And who will you become?

She flips the next card.

It’s the Hanged Man. He represents surrendering, letting go. The Devil will take all that you were and you will let him. But the figure on the card is upside down, meaning you will escape the noose and find…

She flips the last card.

Temperance. Control and balance will be yours, for only finding everything and then losing everything will you truly be able to have everything.

JB: Can’t we just play Uno or something.

Woman: Go Jack Bullet, I have told you what you need to know. But only you can understand the cards.

She ushers him out the door and Bullet goes a few steps down the sidewalk. He then turns around and looks around, but the woman is gone.

JB: How did she know my name?

FADE

(Note: I totally understand Tarot Cards don't work this way.)

[L!zz~]

(The Lovely and Talented Dorothy appears in a hallway, Josie in hand)

Dorothy: You know kid, it's good to be back.

Josie: Why were you gone?

Dorothy: My boys lost a loser leave town match and I didn't have a job anymore.

Josie: Now Titi and Bridget hired you to teach them and me?

Dorothy: That's right, but between you me and the coat rack guy, you're the better student.

Josie: Titi is very smart.

Dorothy: Bookwise maybe, but I've cut her and Bridget enough slack. Want to help me whip them into a dominant tag team?

Josie: How do we do that?

Dorothy: Well, we need a little help.

(The sound of a throat clearing can be heard. Josie looks around for the source)

Dorothy: That you VoG?

VoG: In the...uh..flesh..

Josie: (spinning around ) whose that?

Dorothy: Ready to get to work buddy?

VoG: Introduce me to the little one first.

Dorothy: That voice you hear Josie is Voice over Guy.

Josie: Where is he?

Dorothy: (waving her hand) Around us.

Josie: is he like a ghost?

Dorothy: Something like that but you don't need to be scared. He's a friend.

Josie: What do I call him?

VoG: You can call me Guy.

Josie: Ok..I'm Josie.

Dorothy: Guy..Josie...we ready?

VoG/Josie: Ready!

Dorothy: Let's do this..

(We fade as Dorothy and Josie head off, VoG humming off to see the wizard as they do)

[Sportsguy]

We fade in and see that the Saints of Sinners are WALKING~!. And it looks like shit's about to go down as Matt is carrying a Singapore Cane, Moose is carrying HDB, Stan is carrying an ax handle, and Fire and Stank are carrying... uh.....whatever they'd be carrying. But first we pick them up mid conversation.

Matt: I'm telling you guys, best movie I've seen all year. Maybe a couple of years.

Stan: All due respect to Bradley Cooper, who I think we all like. (Everyone nods) But are we really supposed to believe that a movie starring Lady Gaga is supposed to be the 'best movie of the year'? I can't think of a single thing she's ever done that I've liked.

Fire: I like her music, but not sure if she can act.

Moose: Can't stand her.

Stank: Nope.

Matt: I hear you. I wasn't a fan of hers either. But both she and Bradley Cooper acted their fucking asses off. Both of them are going to be nominated for Oscars and both damn sure deserve to be. Thursday night find out for yourselves....Jaime and I will pay for all the tickets and all the popcorn.

Stan: I won't turn a free movie and free popcorn.

Moose: Sure, why not?

Stank: I'm in.

Fire: Why Thursday? Why not once we're done here?

Matt, Stan, Stank and Moose all turn and shake their heads at Fire.

Fire: What?

Matt/Stan/Moose/Stank: IT'S GAME ONE TONIGHT!!

Matt: Seriously, what communist country were you raised in? This is AMERICA dammit, and here we watch baseball in October.

Fire: Fine, whatever.

Stan: Who you got Matt?

Matt: I say this without any bias against that dirty piece of shit Machado and that crotch chopping fucking asshole Puig... Boston in 7. But as a baseball fan and a great pitching fan: please please please please give me Sale/Kershaw for 1, 4 and 7.

Stan: Agreed.

Fire: Can we please focus, we're almost there. You're sure she's alone Matt?

Matt: Last I saw Dorothy is teaching Josie.

Fire: Good, because remember what I said...

Matt: I know. I completely agree with you, we don't do this in front of Josie. We're horrible people but we're not complete monsters.

Fire nods in agreement. The Saints turn the corner and find Kylie Mignolio walking all alone. Matt quickly knocks her down with a Singapore Cane shot to the spine. Matt tells the others to back off for a minute and then picks Kylie up by the hair and gets right in her face.

Matt: You deserve an explanation for why we're doing this. See Moose and I were chatting and he suggested we beat someone down, raise a little hell and remind everyone exactly who we are. And at first we were thinking about going after Jack. But then I started thinking: You're a threat to Stan and I's tag team Championships. And then when I reminded Moose, Fire and Stank that you eliminated them all from Imperial Onslaught yourself....well your fate was sealed right there. I realize none of this will make you feel better when you're in a hospital room tonight, but out of respect to you I thought you at least deserved to hear our reasoning.

Matt holds Kylie up and Moose nails her full force in the face with Happy Death Bat. Matt brings his cane down on Kylie's ankle with a sickening crack. Stan with repeated ax handle shots to Kylie's back and ribs. And Stank and Fire use their weapons to nail Kylie anywhere their colleagues are not. The Saints leave Kylie an unconscious bloody mess and walk away smiling.

Matt (Casually): So what are we eating while watching Game One? Ribs or burgers?

FADE

[L!zz~]

(Dorothy and Josie turn down the hall way and stop. Josie screams and runs towards her aunt, dropping to the floor next to her, crying, pleading with her to open her eyes)

Dorothy: Guy..get help.

(Dorothy gently pulls Josie away and begins to check on Kylie)

(As VoG alerts medical and Bridget we fade as Josie slumps against the wall, eyes wide as she cries)

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find BRIDGET O’MALLEY and MAC FLASHER exiting KYLIE MIGNOLIO’s room in OOWF Medical*

BRIDGET: “So … This is what starts this war. They go after Kylie and leave her bloody and out cold. We have to take one of them out. We’re going to need weapons. We’re going to need bodies. We’re going to need …”

*a smiling, but genuinely smiling, BRICK~! approaches the pair*

BRICK~!: “MacIntosh. Bridget. Just the two people I wanted to speak to.”

MAC: “If you’re here to gloat over Zed’s buddies attacking …”

B~!: “Mac. I can see your skepticism, but this is not gloating. I am here to offer comfort. I am here to offer love. I am here to offer all of the things that come with my newest calling.”

*BRICK~! hands MAC a business card that notes that BRICK~! is now a reverend*

MF: “Wait … You? Speaking the lord’s word? Through everything that you and Zed have done and you want us to believe that you … YOU … YOU are spreading the messages?”

B~!: “Again, I can understand your doubt. But I have undergone changes in recent weeks. I have seen error in my ways. The selfishness. The sin. The greed. I come to you, and your lovely girlfriend, as a changed … A changed creature of God’s creation.”

BO’M: “So, you’ve ditched Zed is what you’re telling us?”

B~!: “To the contrary, Miss O’Malley. While Zed and the Saints of Sinners have associated with each other in the recent past, Zed is aware that as OOWF Intercontinental Champion, he’s just as much a target as anyone who isn’t a full-fledged Saint. While I am working on getting Zed to accept that his ways are wrong, he is aware that his path mustn’t involve associations with the likes of anyone of that ilk.”

BO’M: “So … Zed is basically looking for backup and he’s enlisted you to pull the wool over our eyes?”

B~!: “Miss O’Malley. I see that you are just as untrusting as your boyfriend. But as a vessel to communicate the teachings of our creator … I am not here to deceive you. I am here to help you. I am here to offer you all of the glories that await you in a life filled with …”

MF: “Help us?”

B~!: “Look what I've done for Zed, he is a multiple-time Intercontinental champion, he survived a war with Stank, Kylie and Bridget thanks to me. Jack Bullet has started listening to me, whether he believes it or not, and look at him, OOWF World Champion for over a month now. What are you doing with your career right now? Nothing. Let the good Reverend help you out.”

*as MAC ponders BRICK~!’s message, the Reverend pulls out a brochure*

B~!: “And I’ve used my wealth to help spread the message. Currently under construction is this …”

*the INC zooms in on the brochure in MAC’s hand*

B~!: “The God Complex.”

MF: “That is a very on-brand name for your church.”

*BRIDGET stifles a laugh as REV. BRICK~! continues*

B~!: “But this facility will travel wherever OOWF travels. I have spared no expense to give those in OOWF seeking salvation, a place to worship. A place for safety. A place for prayer. A place for the word of our lord.”

MF: “I’m sorry. I still can’t get over the name of this place.”

B~!: “In time, you will accept this name as you do Ric’s or Nowhere Bar, Grill and PCPL Repository. In time, you will join me in my God Complex. But my time is short. I must find others to comfort in this trying time. There is a young lady named Josephine who is likely very scared. Is there more that I can assist you two with?”

BO’M: “Reverend … OK. That was weird to call you that. First off, good luck with Josie because you’ll need it … Also, Kylie is likely too injured to compete on MidWeek Mayhem. I’ll be without a partner against Stank and Justin Sane …”

B~!: “Say no more. I have the answer.”

MF: “What. You going to pray her a partner?”

B~!: “No. I’m still a businessman, MacIntosh. I can make some things happen … With my God-given abilities. You just have to believe in powers greater than what you possess.”

*REV. BRICK~! pats MAC and BRIDGET on the shoulder while whistling “Jesus Christ Superstar” and walking away. The INC sticks with MAC and BRIDGET*

MF: “Are you sure that we didn’t suffer the head injuries from that Saints beatdown on Kylie?”

*the scene fades and MAC and BRIDGET walk away from OOWF Medical*

[snelson66]

FADE in on the Destroyatorium. Matt Folz has gotten his wish (at least for game one) for Sale/Kershaw. Though by this time, both are out and won’t figure into the decision. Score is 5-4 Red Sox as we join the party...

MF: “Don’t start, Stan.”

SF: “All I’m saying is, the Twins have had a major impact on this postseason.”

S: “How do you figure?”

SF: “Who’s on deck there? Eduardo Núñez, former Twin. Houston had Ryan Pressly. There’s Brian Dozier for the Dodgers. The Yankees had Lance Lynn and Aaron Hicks. You could even argue that the Red Sox resurgence only came about because of former Twin David Ortiz.”

MHJ: “Stan. I love that you are passionate about Minnesota sports, but you’re nuts.”

S: “I’m with Jack on this.”

FW: “Cleveland got hosed.”

All four guys turn to look at Fire.

FW: “What? I am trying to be interested.”

Núñez hits his home run and the Sox go up 8-4. When the game finally goes to break, the Saints flip over to OOWF-TV to watch the promos and see BRICK~! talking to Bridget and Mac.

MF: “Stan, aren’t you a minister?”

SF: “Yep. Universal Life Church. Ordained online. I think Reverend Stan was a gimmick for a bit back in the day.”

S: “Maybe it’s time for Reverend BRICK~! to get a chance to see the light.”

MHJ: “This game is about over. Let’s see how much powder a BRICK~! will turn into.”

The Saints grab their weapons as we FADE.

[L!zz~]

(Josie and Dorothy are sitting by Kylie, Josie is very still and quiet, which is unlike her)

Nurse: Dorothy (beckons her over)

Dorothy: I'll be right back Josie .don't move ok?

(Josie nods)

Nurse: (her voice low) We have an issue.

Dorothy: What's going on?

Nurse: (glances over) Josephine's uncle is here with some legal types. He is insisting we turn over Josephine since Kylie is out of commission and currently unfit.

Dorothy: She was worried about something like this. Get security to hold them off. Guy! You here?

VoG: of course.

Dorothy: Get Lucky..Kylie said he'd know what to do..

VoG: Lucky went to Iceland.

Dorothy: Damn it. Ok, get Carl on the phone, alert the troops. (Turns to the nurse) I have to get Kylie's things and find Fire and Jack. Don't let anyone in.

Nurse: No one gets in. Go..

(Dorothy turns to Josie and tells her she will be right back and hurries off)

Fade

[Leo]

"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet wakes up in his hotel room. He looks at the clock and sees that it's past 1 p.m. He groans and sits up in bed. Several bottles of liquor are on the floor and clothes are strewn over the hotel room. He hears the shower running and wonders who that could be. He wanders into the bathroom holding his spinning head.

A woman with dark skin and gold eyes looks over her shoulder back at Jack Bullet as the shower runs over her. It's Mama Juana, the fortune teller from the night before.

MJ: I see you're finally up...or I should say awake. You were up most of the night.

JB: I can't say I remember much.

MJ: I'm not offended. You came back looking for me after downing another bottle, calling me your Empress and I just couldn't resist you. Well...I didn't have any other clients coming in for readings and a free evening.

JB: It's been a while since something like this has happened to me. I guess I should buy you breakfast, or lunch at this time. Damn, I have to wrestle tonight.

MJ: You have more pressing matters than me, Mama Juana can take care of herself. Your phone has been ringing like crazy for two hours. It came up Carl, the good one.

JB: Oh, that's Carl Sack. He's my lawyer and CEO of Bullet Brands.

MJ: He also sent several texts that popped up on your lock screen, I could see. They just read MIT.

Bullet suddenly is shocked awake and tears into the other room finding something to put on. Juana comes out with a towel wrapped around her.

JB: Order whatever you like and charge it to the room. I have to go.

MJ: What is MIT?

JB: Mignolio in Trouble!

He tears off out the door with a dress shirt completely unbuttoned and holding his shoes. FADE.

[L!zz~]

(An INC camera catches up with Vic and Danny speaking with Fernando and his legal team)

Vic: We will not be honoring these documents. (Thrusting them back at Fernando)

Danny: (signs to Vic, who nods)

Vic: Ms. Mignolio has made other arrangements and we are in the process of putting them into place.

Fernando: These documents give me custody of my niece by a judge in New York as her aunt is unable to care for her. We will take her by any means necessary.

Vic: (chuckles) Mister, do you have any idea how this company works?

(As Fernando threatens and pushes past them down the hall, the camera shifts)

[L!zz~]

(Back in Kylie's room, we see Josie taking out Kylie's phone and unlocking it. The camera zooms in as she searches for Jacks number and hits call)

Josie: (whispering as it rings) Please pick up...please pick up..(as it goes to Voicemail, she sniffles) Uncle Jack..I need you right away..Titi's been hurt bad...and my uncle is here...please Uncle Jack..ok...call me... (Disconnecting she searches for another number and pushes call)

Josie: (as a voice is heard on the other side) Auntie Fire...

(As there is shouting from outside the door, Josie is scared and drops the phone, as you hear Fire saying Josie? Josie?)


(As the camera shifts to outside the room, we see Dorothy, Mac and Bridget facing off against Fernando and his thugs)


Fade

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene rejoins THE LOVELY AND TALENTED DOROTHY MANTOOTH, BRIDGET O’MALLEY and MAC FLASHER as they are battling with, but are grossly outnumbered by FERNANDO and his ASSOCIATES. With MAC surrounded by three ASSOCIATES, FERNANDO swoops in and cheapshots MAC, dropping him to the ground. As the numbers game begins to overwhelm BRIDGET and DOROTHY, MOOSEHEAD JACK appears and swings HAPPY DETH BAT IV with malicious intent, gutting the three ASSOCIATES dragging MAC away before pointing the barrel of the bat at FERNANDO*

FERNANDO: “Mr. Moose … Please stand down. I am here to take what is mine. In fact, you were a major player in the attack that created the situation and my presence.”

MOOSE: “What The Saints did to Kylie was OOWF business. You laying one finger on Josie is business that nobody in OOWF will allow you to conduct.”

F: “But, I did not travel alone.”

*FERNANDO points to his ASSOCIATES*

MHJ: “Neither did I.”

*The remaining SAINTS OF SINNERS appear behind MOOSE*

F: “I see we’re at an impasse. While you have amazing fighting talent on your side, the law is on mine. Your resistance on Kylie’s behalf will only strengthen my case that this is no place for Josie.”

*FERNANDO backs away, while staring at MOOSE. As FERNANDO and his ASSOCIATES depart, MAC begins to stir*

MAC: “Moose? Stank? Crusher? Matt? Fire? What are you doing here? You would be the last people I would expect to rescue …”

*MATT FOLZ picks up a groggy MAC and Angle Slams him through a conveniently arranged stack of pallets as DOROTHY and BRIDGET rush to the again-fallen MAC*

MHJ: “We weren’t rescuing you. Just providing protection that you were incapable of.”

*THE SAINTS depart as the scene fades*

[Leo]

Fernando and his associates regroup outside the OOWF compound.

F: We're not going to fight for the custody of a little girl like we're in some bad Sylvester Stallone movie, but I'll be damned if we leave here without...

In mid-sentence, Jack Bullet flies in out of nowhere, grabs Fernando by the head, turns, runs up the near wall and comes off with a tornado DDT. Fernando is out cold on the sidewalk. Bullet kips up and the stunned Associates just look at him as he runs into the building.

JB: I'm coming Josie!

FADE

[Fire-Babe]

Fire rounds a corner, looking like a lioness on the hunt and then turns another to see Fernando laid out.

FW: Aw....damn.

Fire bends down and looks at him almost like surgeon getting ready to make the first incision...which is possible since she's got her shiny knife. But a hand comes and grabs her by the shoulder and pulls her back. Fire spins and stops the knife this close |-| from Stank's face.

S: WHAT are you doing?

FW: Someone got to him first. I was just going to finish--

S: No you are not. At least not now. You've got a match in three hours, and Moose is good, but I'm not sure he's good enough to take on both Muyos alone.

Fire snarls and retracts her knife and turns to leave. Stank visibly breathes his relief, while Fire's not looking, and then follows her back to the Destroyitarium.

Before he gets there, Fire is already attempt to get ready for her match, with Justin's help, although...well, he's no Lucky. He's gotten himself all tangled in the wraps she uses for her wrists.

JS: Just a ... I got this, Mrs. Boss Lady....I ... if I can just--

FW: Just go.

JS: But if I pull this one and turn around three times--

FW: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Justin scurries off. Moose comes out from somewhere else. Fire looks at him.

MHJ: What?

FW: Did you ever notice how much you look like him?

MHJ:......who?

FW: Father of the year.

MHJ: No. Wait, did you have therapy today?

FW: No, why?

MHJ: Because you always get weird after therapy.

FW: Therapy is what keeps me from killing you.

MHJ: Me?

FW: Uh, no...not you...just....people.

Moose looks at her suspiciously.

FW: Thanks....

MHJ: .....for?

FW: For helping with Josie.

MHJ: Well, yeah. Kids are off limits. No one should rip a kid away from their family.

Moose walks off, and Fire glares after him.

[DrMcAwesome]

*an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds THE REVEREND BRICK~! and ZED walking outside of the OOWF Compound when encountered by a barely conscious – yet very irritated – FERNANDO*

REV. BRICK~!: “Fernando. Maybe you should use today’s encounters as a teaching.”

FERNANDO: “I am in no mood for this nonsense from a talking brick.”

*FERNANDO shoves his way past REV. BRICK~! when ZED drops FERNANDO with a superkick. Then ZED throws a superkick party for all of FERNANDO’s ASSOCIATES*

ZED: “I didn’t want to have to do that.”

*REV. BRICK~! dusts himself off and looks to ZED*

RB~!: “And that is exactly why I think you should really consider what I had asked you about earlier.”

Z: “Listen. Anyone else in the world, and I’d be in … But Thirty-Seven or Mac … No sale.”

RB~!: “Zed … Miss O’Malley is in need. Plus, this is a good faith measure to show Josie that even the worst actions do not mean the worst people.”

Z: “Damn it …”

*ZED walks away from REV. BRICK~!, who gives chase, as the scene fades*

[ztevans]

Trent Powers, listening to music on Beats headphones, walks through the OOWF Compound. He is clearly pumping himself up for tonight's match, while also looking to get a quick word with Nick Fleming beforehand. However, his focus is soon deterred as he starts to view the wreckage left behind by Fernando, his associates, and the OOWF roster, with bodies strewn everywhere, medics tending to them, and debris as far as the eye can see. We slowly watch as his face goes from one of sheer focus and determination to concern to confusion.

TP: What ... the ... fuck?

FADE

[Leo]

"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet sits by Kylie Mignolio's bed side. She's unconscious. Jack cradles Josie in his arms as she sobs away. She then kind of stops and takes a deep whiff.

Josie: Uncle Jack, you smell like voodoo.

JB: I'm not going to dignify that with a response.

A knock is heard on the door. It opens slightly to reveal BRICK~! Josie screams and buries her head in Jack's chest.

BRICK~!: Can I come in?

JB: No.

BRICK~!: Can you come out?

Bullet nods silently and sits Josie in the chair. As Bullet approaches the door, BRICK~! hands him a small doll.

BRICK~!: It's a BRICK~! plushie for Josie, we make these now.

Bullet hands it over to Josie. She drops the doll on its head and then stomps it.

Josie: I feel better.

BRICK~!: Well...I guess that's all that matters.

Jack pushes BRICK~! through the door. He snarls at him, but with a hushed voice.

JB: What do you want? I don't have time for your cheap theatrics.

BRICK~!: Nothing like that anymore Jack. I have seen the light and the Rev. BRICK~! is looking to help guide others from the OOWF into it. I told you as World Champion, you needed my help, but that's probably even truer now. As a God fearing man, do you think it's a coincidence that God blessed me with his divine vision at almost the same moment you were being bewitched by a vile devil woman? It was to help many, but to help you most of all.

JB: How do you know about all that?

BRICK~!: God is everywhere...and so are the ninja cameras.

JB: Wait...do they capture everything.

BRICK~!: For that stuff you have to pay an additional $12.12 a month and be over 18. Subscriptions for that service have gone down since Edra and Sizzlechest aren't on it anymore.

JB: I have a lot on my mind right now and being World Champion is taking a severe back seat to Kylie and Josie. I should have never left them. I see now I wasn't doing what was best for them, but best for me. No matter who comes after them, it's better if I'm by their side.

BRICK~!: Exactly. You have a lot to worry about now and I can help you, the church can help you, my apostles can help. Mac, Bridget and Zed, are almost all on board. More are sure to come. Every pastor needs a bell sheep. Someone who models the behavior others should follow. You, Jack Bullet, the Better Man for a Better OOWF can be my bell sheep. Nay, not just my bell sheep, but Josie's bell sheep.

Bullet considers for a long moment in silence.

JB: If you're serious, you'll let me take my time on this. Now go, while I tend to Josie.

BRICK~!: Of course, of course.

FADE

[Moosehead Jack]

<the Saints continue on their way looking for BRICK~!. They come around the corner and see BRICK~! and Bullet talking. Bullet goes back into the room with Kylie and Josie and the Saints approach>

MF: Well, well BRICK~! This is your latest scam, eh?

BRICK~! <looking at the Saints, but not running away> this group continues to puzzle me. Violence for the sake of violence, but you go out of your way to protect Josie

MHJ: Kids are off limits. There is no exception to that

BRICK~!: And yet, you attacked Josie's auntie, causing her a tremendous amount of hurt

FW: That's the OOWF. Josie will learn to understand that

BRICK~!: But should she have to? Is it our job to educate through pain?

MHJ: Worked for the Quinns

BRICK~!: Did it though?

<Moose and Fire snarl, Stan holds them back and steps toward BRICK~!>

SF: I don't trust you

BRICK~!: As a fellow man of the cloth, I understand that I have to EARN that trust. Mr. Fulton, whether you believe this or not, your ways have been an inspiration to me. I've always found it remarkable that you can be among the most violent wrestlers ever inside that ring, but outside, you practice peace......<looking at Fulton's weapon>......or you used to

Sta: I think I've heard just about enough of this

<the Saints start to approach, BRICK~! closes his eyes and stretches his arms out, a blinding white light engulfs him, the Saints cover their eyes and look away, when the light fades, BRICK~! is gone>

MF: Ok......that was impressive

<the Saints regroup and walk away heading back to the Destroyitarium>