Post by Moosehead Jack on Nov 7, 2018 21:55:54 GMT -5
<Fire is talking to Stank on Skype after the show when there is a knock at her door. Fire answers and we see Ghost and Shannon standing there>
FW: Oh, uh.......hi? I wasn't expecting you. Come in?
Shannon: We can't stay. We know you will speak with Lucas and we hoped you could relate a message to him from us?
FW: Oh......sure, should I write this down?
GH: No, it is quite simple. When the two of you decide on a wedding day, please let us know.
FW: Well, of course! I mean, I am sure I will see you that day, you'll be around here somewhere, I will make sure Lucky....
Shannon: No. We won't be around here.
GH: Our contracts expired tonight, and after recent events, and situations my wife has brought to my attention, we have decided to take a sabbatical from the OOWF. It is not permanent, we have just put contract talks on hold for now. I'm sure you understand.
FW: Oh. Yeah, sure, of course! Well, have fun you crazy kids!
GH: I am not sure what you're implying.......
<Shannon elbows Ghost in the ribs then gives Fire a hug, which she eventually returns. Shannon looks like she is about to tear up, so she turns and walks away, Ghost gives Fire a look>
GH: You are the right one. See it through. Namaste.
"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet stands on the tarmac of the Icelandic airport looking up at the OOWF private plane waiting to take everyone to Moscow Russia for the next show. To the right of him, a bright white light materializes. It fades to show the Rev. BRICK~! A black cloud of smoke appears to the left and dissipates to reveal Mama Juana.
RB: If we're going to do this now Jack, it has to be before we take off.
MJ: The call is yours. I make no decision for you, but I know what the cards say.
Without saying a word to either. Bullet takes the pen and paper in BRICK'S~! hand and signs it.
RB: Do you Jack Bullet take Mama Juana to be your lawfully wedded wife.
JB: I do.
RB: And Mama Juana do you take Jack Bullet to be your lawfully wedded husband.
MJ: I do.
RB: Then in the power invested in me by God above, the voodoo demons below and the nation of Iceland with no screw-ups this time, I pronounce you both man and wife. You may now lick the bride.
Bullet glares at BRICK~! quizzically.
RB: I pay the extra $12.12 a month. I know what you two like.
Bullet hardens his stare and BRICK~! runs off for the plane.
Bullet heads that way too, but Mama Juana hangs back.
JB: You're not coming?
MJ: I travel my own way. I'll see you in Moscow. I think me not being present when you break it to Firewoman is best.
JB: I was going to let Josie stay with her during the flight and tell her after, but I guess I shouldn't dwell on it.
MJ: I also know the OOWF policies, she can't beat you up on the plane for taking Josie back.
JB: Yeah, but when we land it's a different story.
MJ: And when you do, I will be there, my husband.
Black smoke appears again and she's gone.
JB: I'm married for the second time in about a week. Ain't that a kick in the head.
Post by DrMcAwesome on Nov 8, 2018 18:34:10 GMT -5
*an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds MAC FLASHER and BRIDGET O’MALLEY walking through the North Shore of Pittsburgh with the destination – Heinz Field – setting the glow over the area. While BRIDGET has chosen a sensible Steelers jacket for the chilly evening ahead, MAC’s torso is covered only by his ANTONIO BROWN Steelers “bumblebee” throwback jersey*
MAC: “Say what you will about the guy, but Reverend BRICK~! hooking us up with tickets for tonight’s game was a pretty awesome gesture.”
BRIDGET: “I’ll say. Where are the seats, anyway?”
MF: “No idea. Just said that a friend of his will meet us at Stage AE.”
B’OM: “Do you know this friend?”
MF: “No, but BRICK~! said that he knows us pretty well.”
*MAC and BRIDGET continue walking when they find a familiar face sporting a black CAM NEWTON jersey. BRIDGET grins as MAC sighs*
ZED: “So, you’re BRICK~!’s Yinzer friends? I should have seen this coming.”
BO’M: “I guess it makes sense that you’d be the Reverend’s friend who is a Panthers fan.”
MF: “Damn it. I’ll just get an Uber back to the hotel.”
*MAC turns to walk away before BRIDGET pulls MAC back into the conversation*
BO’M: “Mac. You will do no such thing. We spent how long on a plane to be here just to be at this game, which is a game you couldn’t shut the fuck up about on the way to Pittsburgh. Now you’re going to walk away just because Zed, who has been a damn fine tag partner these past few weeks, is the person we have to be with? You used to be best friends.”
MF: “Then Johnstown happened. Twice. A hell of a lot of other stuff, too. I see this face and all I see is the low blows. The weapon shots. The GTH DDTs …”
Z: “Calling it “Divine Intervention” now. It was BRICK~!’s idea, since it wouldn’t be on brand to wish Hell upon people … As much as I didn’t want to have to do it.”
MF: “Whatever … Jesus!”
*The REVEREND BRICK~!, wearing a TIM TEBOW Jets jersey, emerges with the fourth ticket*
REV. BRICK~!: “MacIntosh. Do not use our lord’s name in vain.”
MF: “Can’t believe I trusted you.”
RB~!: “You did. And look … Four people will enjoy each other’s company on a night given to us by God. Mac, i know that Zed and I have wronged you and Bridget greatly. But look into your heart to accept the good that each of us possess and join us. Bridget has … In fact, she’s our organist at The God Complex.”
*MAC looks at BRIDGET with an expression of shock and partial disgust*
BO’M: “He spoke to me after a trip to Bing-Bong’s Dispensary.”
BO’M: “No. BRICK~!.”
MF: “Just … Just … I just can’t do this.”
*MAC walks away, getting lost by the INC while walking opposite of a group of fans headed to Heinz Field. BRIDGET is visibly upset, ZED rolls his eyes as REV. BRICK~! tries to call MAC on his cellphone*
Z: “Well … That went about as well as expected.”
RB~!: “He’ll come around. Not every conversion was instant.”
BO’M: “I’m not so sure. You don’t know how long he’ll hold grudges.”
Z: “Should we go after him?”
RB~!: “And waste these seats? Not a chance. Let’s go inside. I emailed him his ticket if he chooses to join us.”
*BRIDGET, ZED and REV. BRICK~! make their way to the stadium with BRIDGET checking behind her for MAC’s location as the scene fades*
FADE in on a banner reading “Nick Fleming for OOWF Champion.” In smaller print right below that reads “An American Patriot.” The image of the banner fades and the scene fades up on Nick Fleming sitting in a quaint American diner. Surrounding him are people of the land... the common clay of the new West. You know. Morons. They talk and laugh as they eat their breakfast, because that’s what you do in quaint diners.
Finally, Nick Fleming turns towards the camera.
“You all know me. I’m a humble man from Beverly Hills, California. I’m a true American. God fearing and proud of his decent American values.
“Jack Bullet is not any of these. Oh sure, he’s posed with an eagle on his arm in front of Old Glory, the light pinging off his teeth. But that was all an act.
“Jack Bullet engages in coitus outside of the institution of marriage. Jack Bullet has married a voodoo cult leader after sham marriages to others. Jack Bullet stalks little girls and casually speaks of abducting them.
“This is not a man we want as OOWF World Champion, let alone want on our OOWF-TV screens. We want wrestling on OOWF-TV. We no longer want soap opera melodrama about weird marriages and child abductions.
“I stand for the wrestlers of this company. The hard working men and women who struggle every day to hone their in-ring work and their craft. Who don’t marry voodoo priestesses or have weird hottub coitus or whatever else their petty, insignificant lives are facing. We all face adversity. We all don’t parade it on OOWF-TV like Days of Our Lives.”
Fleming stands, shakes the hands of his fellow diners and walks to the counter to pay.
“I’m Nick Fleming and I approved this message because I believe in wrestling. Just like you.”
”Nick Fleming for OOWF Heavyweight Wrestling Champion” appears on screen as we FADE.
Voicemail from Jack Bullet's phone 10:30 a.m., Friday, November 9, 2018. *BEEP*
Hey, Jackie Boy, it's Carl. No, not that Carl. Carl from Fresno.
I know how we can get Nick Fleming real good. What would you say if I told you I had a video tape of Fleming being peed on by Russian hookers? Scandalous right. Well…it’s really me in a Nick Fleming mask, but it’s very convincing looking.
Also, what’s with the soap opera crack against you. Does he know OOWF TV have a subchannel called the “Days of Our Firewoman” that’s just a loop of all her past story lines. She’s been shacked up with more guys than Susan Lucci.
The entire OOWF staff is at customs at the Moscow airport. Fire has bought Josie a hot chocolate, when Jack Bullet walks up.
JB: Okay, Fire...I guess you know why I'm here.
FW: You're employed by OOWF?
JB: Again with the jokes.
FW: Right....*to Josie*...honey, stay here with Mr. Moose for a bit. *to Jack* Let's talk over there.
The two walk a bit of a distance away, positioning themselves to each keep an eye on Josie.
JB: Look, Fire, I don't want this to be a thing--
FW: Good. Because I'm pretty sure Lucky can find that a wedding administered by a talking brick to a mortal and a jinn is no more valid than ours was.
JB: Rev. Brick, and he's legally license to--
FW: Jack, face it. Josie is way safer with me and the Saints, regardless of your marital status. You were right to sign those forms and in fact, since you did, Lucky can make a claim that you abdicated your custody by not even naming a spouse. I could have married Charles Manson and you didn't care, just signing off--
JB: Lucky's good, I'll grant you that, but--
FW: Jack, we both know Josie is safer with me, and I'm going to prove it.
JB: Yeah? How!
Fire sucker punches Jack Bullet with a right cross to the jaw that Josie doesn't see because Moose has distracted her to look the other direction. Jack squares up quickly, but true to form does not strike back.
JB: Goddammit Fire, if you were a man, I'd--
FW: Exactly, Jack. You aren't willing to do WHATEVER it takes to protect her, are you? Your pesky morals would get in the way. Fortunately, I have no such problems.
Jack is so mad he's speechless.
FW: I think I've proved my point. Now then, because conflict between caregivers is not good for children....
Fire calls Josie back over.
J: I finished my cocoa!
FW: Great. Josie, would you like to stay with Uncle Jack for a little bit?
FW: Okay...Lucky will make sure your suitcase gets over there.
J: Auntie Fire taught me to say that.
JB: Okay, well, let's get to the car.
Josie skips a little bit ahead.
JB: Fire, I--
FW: No, no...no need to thank me.
JB: I wasn't going to.
Jack turns to go but Fire catches his arm.
FW: It should go without saying, but just in case...anything DOES happen to her? There won't be a soul mortal or otherwise that will save you.
Fire lets his arm drop and walks back over to the Saints.
And as Fire nears the table, a hand from behind spins her around. Mama Juana bitch slaps her as hard as possible. Juana then kicks Fire in the stomach and as she bends over, Juana grabs her head and performs a DDT on the concrete. Juana crouches low to Fire's ear.
MJ: I am someone you have not faced in awhile. Someone with no fear and no respect for you. You look like a refugee camp and smell like a whore who works in one. Unlike my husband who has moral and character you can never begin to understand, I don't mind getting my hands dirty with the garbage. If you ever sucker punch him like that again outside the ring, I will rip your still beating heart out of your chest and feed it to you before you hit the ground.
Moosehead Jack is rushing over after the initial shock. Juana stands and holds out her arm, palm out in a halt motion.
MJ: Do you like having testicles?
MJ: Then you may wish to tend to your sister then seeking retribution at this time against me.
Moose sees to Firewoman and Juana vanishes just as quickly as she appeared.
Post by Moosehead Jack on Nov 9, 2018 22:38:06 GMT -5
<We see Folz and Fulton walking down the hall toward the Destroyitarium>
SF: Man, I don't care how bad Buffalo is, they would destroy Alabama
MF: You're just saying that because Buffalo crushed Minnesota
SF: Shut up
MF: And by the transitive property, if Alabama beat Buffalo, and Buffalo beat Minnesota, that means.......
SF: Minnesota still has a better record than Green Bay
MF: For now
SF: Uh huh
<they open the door to the Destroyitarium and the lights are off>
MF: the hell?
<Folz flips on the light and they expect an attack, but Josie yells SURPRISE!!!!!!! and pulls a rope letting balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling. Moose and Fire come out from behind the bar with 13 and Jamie, Stank hobbles out of the back on some crutches and they shake hands with Stan and Matt>
MF: the hell?
MHJ: Just found out, you guys are now officially the longest reigning OOWF tag team champions of all time
SF: We are?
FW: You are!
<Stan and Matt look at one another and shrug their shoulders and clink their titles together. Josie comes running by with her arms out like an airplane>
J: CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE!
MF: <now standing with Jamie who gives him a kiss on the cheek> I don't see any cake.....
<as if on cue LD Williams rolls the cart with the cake on it from the back>
SF: HOLY SHIT! LD!
<LD shakes hands and shares manly hugs of manly manliness with Stan and Matt>
MF: What are you doing here?
LD: Had some of mom's business to take care of here, heard you would be in town, so I stuck around
FW: Your mom had business in Moscow?
<everyone just turns and looks at Fire>
J: CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE!
<Fire grabs the knife, everyone gets defensive for a moment, she looks at them funny, then starts cutting the cake and everyone relaxes. Josie now has a toy replica of Moose's HDB and she hits Folz on the back of the leg, he falls to the floor in pretend pain and Josie grabs him in the ankle lock and Matt taps furiously while reaching for Stan to make the tag while Josie howls in joy. Stank is helping Fire with the cake, Moose and LD make their way to the bar where Jack pours them each a healthy glass of Trust Me, they toast, then share a drink. Moose looks out at the controlled chaos of the celebration>
MHJ: Do you miss it?
LD: I miss the same thing every other ex-wrestler misses. The camaraderie, the friendship, the people, the grind, the feeling of being out there. But I don't miss feeling like I was 90 when I got out of bed every morning.
MHJ: So, it's a never?
LD: It's a not likely, leave it at that.
<they clink glasses again and LD notices Moose watching everyone else carefully with the slightest smile on his face>
MHJ: Huh? Nothing.
LD: <slapping Moose on the back> I know you better than that, I see the same thing you see, it's the same thing that Bullet sees. Jack, walking away from here was the hardest thing I ever had to do, being away from here was harder than being away from my family, and that doesn't make sense. I felt bad about that for a long time, then I realized something, this was also family. Not just the Saints, all of them. This is family. Look at Josie running around, she is the kid Matt and Jamie haven't had time for yet, it's the kid that Lucas and Fire are going to get around to eventually. It's the niece you don't have yet. It's like that for everyone here, not just Josie either, but all of them, even the ones you hate, they are forever part of you. I sit back and think now, and even Alexander Darling doesn't seem quite so bad.
MHJ: <staring at LD> Get the fuck out of here
LD: <laughing> might take a bit longer for you. I did see something you said about that kid though, it is ironic, but there is no safer place for her than the OOWF. She is family, and would you really want THIS family pissed off at you?
<they laugh as Fire brings them some cake. We focus on Josie who is still laughing her head off, this time after getting some frosting on Jamie's nose. While she is laughing 13 wipes some on Josie's nose and she explodes into a new fit of laughter, and we fade>
OOC: I should have posted this way earlier but didn't have time, so just imagine this is like, Friday morning. It doesn't really ruin any continuity of the previous promos at all, so think of a flashback if that helps, w/e.
Zed is on his phone waiting for the flight from Pennsylvania to Moscow to rejoin the OOWF roster when Reverend BRICK~! sits down beside him.
B~!: I think we really made some progress last night!
Z: I would really prefer to not talk about last night.
B~!: I mean, yes, I get that it's a bummer Mac didn't stick around -
Z: - I'm going to stop you there.
B~!: I really wish you'd -
Z: - No, I'm really fucking stopping you there.
Z: Let's fu...reaking recap last night. With you maintaining silence, preferably, for once.
B~!: Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.
Z: Right. So, first, the Panthers lost by a billion.
B~!: It was only 31.
Z: You're really bad at the silence thing.
*BRICK~! opens his mouth again to speak, but then nods*
Z: Right. So I'm in that gaudy yellow architectural tribute to ketchup, surrounded by obnoxious Yinzers who already hated me because of one certain April night in Johnstown, wearing a Panthers jersey as the Steelers just ab-so-LUTELY murder the Panthers. And you somehow found a way to make it worse!
B~!: I did?
Z: YES. YOU DID. HAVE YOU SEEN ANY SOCIAL MEDIA THIS MORNING?
B~!: I have, uh, tried to spend less time on Twitter. Very impure thoughts circulate there.
Z: It's funny you use that word, exactly. So remember when you thought it would be cool to tell the fine folks at Heinz Field we'd all be there as one big happy family so they could put us on the videoboard?
B~!: Yes! That was a great moment! It was too bad Mac couldn't be there.
Z: IT REALLY IS!
B~!: Stop yelling!
Z: Sorry, you're right. But yes. So let me paint the picture for you in a way that apparently you're not seeing now that you've encountered salvation. "I Get Wet" plays. Crowd roars. Camera pans to you ... me ... Bridget O'Malley ... and an empty seat.
B~!: I know! Such a bummer!
Z: Okay, let me re-emphasize part of that for you. You. *starts to raise his voice again but thinks better, instead pointing at his own chest* Meeeeee. *points at the empty seat beside him in the terminal* Mac's girlfriend! ... and an empty seat.
B~!: Yeah! It would have been nice for the whole group to be there, I agree!
Z: *closes eyes and sighs* You're not getting it. Here.
Zed passes his phone to Reverend BRICK~!, whose face slowly turns to shock
B~!: Oh no...
Z: Yeah! Everyone thinks I *stops himself before cursing again* ... that I have carnal knowledge of Bridget O'Malley now. Not only is that very Unchristian, it's very the last thing I want to do with my life.
B~!: Why can't people just enjoy a football game with friends? Why do people assume the worst?
Z: Because I am the worst, and they aren't my friends?
B~!: We can fix this.
Z: Which part?
B~: All of it!
Z: I don't feel so strongly about the being friends thing.
B~!: No! This is an opportunity! I'll take care of it, Zed. Don't worry. Believe in the name of the son of God, so that you may have eternal life.
*Reverend BRICK~! stands up, presumably to do very important things, and walks off*
Z: I dunno, dying sounds pretty good at the moment.
Firewoman is sitting in what will likely be her new temple room. It's not all the way unpacked but it looks something like this (best picture I could find).
Stank appears at the door.
FW: Yeah, I can't find my red or white cloths though....where's Lucky?
S: He's taking Josie back to Bullet's.
FW: I was perfectly able and willing to--
S: Yes, Fire, but given...Fire...can I come in?
Stank makes an effort to move, but it seems he cannot enter the room.
FW: What? Oh...
Fire closes her eyes for a moment. The candles flicker, and then she opens her eyes.
FW: Okay, now.
Stank hesitates a moment...and then comes in with no trouble. He shakes that off, and looks around.
S: This is....well, this is you.
FW: Thanks. Look, Stan has already agreed to do the ceremony, and so we can do that and take Josie and--
S: Fire...do you want to marry me just to stick it to Bullet?
S: Be honest.
FW: .....well....not JUST to do that, no....
S: I see.
FW: If you'll recall, we were engaged before this, so this is just...extra icing.
S: Well, I am not going to rush into a ceremony--
S: --Just for that reason.
S: Don't pout. Besides, since Jack married that woman, he rescinded his earlier agreement, ceding custody to you, and I thought Lucky explained all that.
FW: I don't know, he was talking. I just zoned out. He's always explaining something. *in a mocking voice* "You can't have custody of Josie because reasons." "You can't book a match between Putin and a wrestling bear because excuses" ---
S: You what?
FW: --"No you can't buy Lenin's Tomb." ...It's like he's always EXPLAINING things. I stop listening after like five minutes.
S: That's...can we talk about--
FW: Besides, I'm pretty sure Lucky can find a court that a masonry block certifying a marriage is.....wait......
FW: Of COURSE! Brick is a MASON~!
s: I don't....Fire, can you focus?
FW: It's all so much clearer now. Anyway, Lucky took Josie back to Bullet because he seemed to think I shouldn't be around the new Mrs. Bullet, as if I care.
S: She DDTed you pretty good.
FW: MMhmmm, she did. And I was incorrect before, she's not a djinn. She's a djab.
S: Oh... and that means--
FW: That means, first, I know way too much about spirit work. Second, I know how to deal with those.
Fire rearranged stuff on her altar.
S: How? I mean--
FW: Lucas....as long as you've known me, what have I ever been afraid of?
S: I recall a very elaborate ploy when you first got here to avoid going to Japan.
FW: Right, so yakuza. But I still went. And even then when they finally caught up to me *Fire holds up the hand with the missing pinky* I STILL didn't back down.
S: Have you ever thought that maybe you should have?
Fire blinks at him for a while.
S: Okay, well--
FW: Lucas, I am focused on one thing only. Defeating the Muyos so that they learn to never ever cross a Quinn ever, and protecting Josie.
Zed is sitting in his hotel room, reading a book, when there is a knock on the door. Zed arches his eyebrows before going to the doorand opening it to find Reverend BRICK~!
Z: Oh, no.
B~!: I fixed it.
Z: I don't like the sounds of that.
B~!: No, really. Absolutely nobody will accuse you of engaging in unbecoming behavior with Bridget O'Malley now.
In the background, we hear Zed's phone beginning to blow up. Zed turns his head slightly, then glances back at Reverend BRICK~!. A look of fear spreads over Zed's face, and he turns to check the phone. Reverend BRICK~! lets himself in the room and closes the door behind him.
Z: *scrolling through his phone* You have got to be shitting me.
Z: Did you ... honestly?
B~!: Yes! It solves the problem!
Z: But it's not true!
B~!: It's ... it's not?
Z: No! It's not even a little bit true! I will have you know - !
B~!: No, Zed. Please do not tell me.
Z: Look, I get you're all Christian and stuff now. But I can't undo the past. Nor do I want to, if you get my drift.
B~!: I would very much prefer to not get your drift right now.
Z: Well, I would have very much preferred if you didn't tell the whole world I was a virgin, but here we are!
B~!: How was I supposed to know?
Z: I dunno, you could have asked?!
B~!: Well ... *starting to pace around the room* ... If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Z: ... Yes?
B~!: So you have my forgiveness for your past transgressions.
Z: ... Thanks?
B~!: I should be going now.
Z: That would be cool.
BRICK~! leaves and Zed looks at his phone, blowing up with mocking tweets from fans around the world. FADE.
Post by Moosehead Jack on Nov 14, 2018 21:56:42 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#888) Live! From Moscow, Russia November 14, 2018
BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE vs. THE DARLINGS
BFE is out first, and as always they are a hit with the crowd. Justin and Bill play to the crowd and the crowd eats it up. The Darlings music plays, and the cheers change, they are still cheers, but they are more respect cheers
Russ: You’ve got to give it to the Russian crowd, they may not especially like the Darlings, but they are giving them a tremendous amount of respect here tonight Razz: Well, the Darlings are sort of like Russia Russ: How? Razz: Well they are still somehow powerful, despite not really doing anything for years, people fear them based largely on a well-earned reputation and people don’t entirely trust them, but they have to respect their might in the world of wrestling Russ: Fair enough. Would that make the Quinn’s Germany? Razz: Are YOU going to call the Quinns Nazis? Russ: That is NOT what I was implying……….though if I remember Coach Dietz’s high school history class, that would make the Muyos……….France? Razz: Well, if you mean in regards to the Quinns and Darlings essentially constantly being at one another’s throats even though they once had a tentative truce, while France – the Muyos – just sits back and hates them both……..I suppose that could work Russ: Folks I am being handed another note, it appears that no one wants a history lesson and that we should focus on the action in the ring
While that fascinating conversation was going on, BFE and the Darlings are having one hell of a match. Former partners Alexis and Bill face off and Bill rocks Lexie with several elbows to the face, but when he goes to drop the final elbow, Lexie moves out of the way. Alex comes in and takes over, but Bill breaks free and makes the hot tag to Justin. Justin comes in and cleans house, until Alex turns him inside out with a lariat, then follows that with a slingshot gut buster. Alex races across the ring and nails Bill, sending him to the floor. Alex tags in Lexie and lifts Justin onto his shoulders, then drives him to the mat with a DARLING DRIVER while Lexie adds a PHOENIX SPLASH for the pin and the win. WINNERS in 15:49 – The Darlings
TRENT POWERS vs. MAC FLASHER vs. SHIZURU
OOWF referee Davis Hightower calls for the bell as Shizuru, Mac Flasher and Trent Powers circle each other. While Mac is sizing up Trent, Shizuru makes the first strike as he connects with a roundhouse kick to side of Mac’s head, getting 2 before Trent breaks up the count. Trent hammers away at Shizuru, backing him into the corner before sending a series of stiff shoulders to the Onslaught Champion’s ribcage before Mac comes to and catches Trent in a Clemente Bridge Suplex that gets 1.
Mac and Trent exchange blows, once they’re vertical, as Shizuru dropkicks Trent from behind, crashing him into Mac, who tumbles through the ropes. Shizuru batters Trent with kicks to the hamstrings, dropping him to a knee before a well-placed strike seemingly turns Trent’s lights out. Shizuru covers, but takes a leg drop from a returning Mac before 2 is counted. As Trent lay dazed, Mac grabs Shizuru and drills him with a knee to the stomach. A gut wrench suplex into the corner drives the air from Shizuru as Mac signals for Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood Trolley. Mac is about two steps away before Trent recovers and clips Mac’s knee. With Mac on the ground in agony, Shizuru and Trent form an unspoken alliance as they each stomp on Mac’s knee with vigor. As Shizuru believes that he’s located a new friend, Trent replies to Shizuru’s offer of a handshake with a walking motion, a boot to the stomach and a running neckbreaker. That gets 2 as Mac breaks up the cover. Trent boots down Mac while Shizuru is slow to get up. With Mac still nursing an injured leg, Trent returns his focus to Shizuru, trying I’ll Name it Later, it’s Late and getting 2.75 thanks to Mac breaking up the pin.
Trent shoves Mac down, leading to Mac popping back up and returning the favor. The two exchange haymakers, with the Moscow crowd cheering and jeering each blow.
Russ: “Mac is throwing some heavy rights, but Trent Powers is taking them all, and dishing right back!” Razz: “This guy isn’t a slouch, nor does he carry himself like one. He’s basically Mac, but with less concern.” Russ: “Is that possible?”
After a minute of pure brawling, Mac throws a 1-2 combo that stumbles Trent just as Shizuru hops on Mac’s back with designs of a sleeper hold. Mac dumps Shizuru and follows with a fist drop that gets 1. Mac hoists Shizuru up again and sets him up for a back drop suplex, only with Trent joining the fun and taking Shizuru’s other arm. With Shizuru basically out, Hightower counts off 3. WINNER (pinfall, 8:45) … Hey wait. Who did win?
Mac and Trent each raise their arms as if they won, only to have the other pull the arms down during the celebration. After Hightower consults ring announcer Mike Elevenbee, he returns to the ring and raises the arms of both men.
Elevenbee: “Ladies and gentlemen. Official Davis Hightower has determined that both Mac Flasher and Trent Powers successfully pinned Shizuru, declaring both men as the victor of this bout.
Mac nods in approval as Trent protests with Hightower, arguing that he had covered more of Shizuru during the pinfall. Hightower raises each man’s arm and exits the ring. Mac tries to congratulate Trent, but gets flipped off before Trent exits the ring.
ZED & BRIDGET O’MALLEY vs. THE SAINTS OF SINNERS
Zed and Bridget score a DQ win over the tag team champions. Match TBEIL
NICK FLEMING vs. JACK BULLET
Nick Fleming makes his way to the ring in his usual no-nonsense, no-music style. He seems completely unconcerned and unaffected by the fans booing him. "Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet makes his way down, accompanied by the news Mrs. Jack Bullet, Mama Juana, and greets the cheers with appreciation, even awkwardly thanking the the "congratulations on your marriage" signs. Prior to entering the ring, Mama Juana sprinkles Jack with some sort of dust from a red flannel bag, kisses him on the cheek, and makes a spooky exit. The referee instructs them that he wants a good clean fight, and that appears to be agreeable to both men...for the first .2 seconds of the match. After that it's an all-out war, with plenty of warnings to both men on using closed fists and other things that just aren't allowed. Fleming is cold and calculating, and seems to succeed in being just out of the referee's line of vision, mysteriously, when things like thumbs to the eye happen. The two spill outside and brawl all the way around the ring before Bullet gets an advantage with the assistance of a drop toe hold that sends Fleming head-first into the steps. This isn't a falls count anywhere, though, so Bullet rolls Fleming into the ring. He follows him in and pulls Fleming to his feet, but that seems like a bad idea in hindsight. He's still woozy, but through instinct alone Fleming gets Bullet into a headlock, and then powers him down to the mat. Fleming's vice-grip is proving hard for Bullet to get out of, and more than once the referee has to do the hand-raise. Bullet sees an opening when Fleming switches the hold and gradually and slowly powers up to a vertical base. He rushes backward, driving Fleming spine first into the ring post. Bullet turns and peppers Fleming with really stiff punches, and one connects just right so that a small trickle of blood appears on Fleming's nose. This sends Fleming into a rage and he grabs Bullet and tosses him across the ring, following him into the corner with a splash. Fleming Irish-whips Bullet over to the ropes, and then rushes him. Bullet ducks taking the top rope with him and Fleming sails over, onto the floor, and hitting the barricade. Bullet takes a moment and then jumps up and over, landing on a surprised Fleming,as they both crash to the floor. Both men lay there to get their bearings, and the referee begins the count. Very gradually, the both begin to stir. At "6", Fleming is up on one knee, and Bullet is on his feet, but holding the rope for stability. At "8" Fleming goes on the attack, but is countered by Bullet, who kicks him in the gut and gets him into position for the Silver Bullet On The Floor~! But before he can, the referee hits "10" and calls for the bell!!!
Both Fleming and Bullet are incredulous, and try to plead their cases, but Fleming gives up first. He looks around, and seeing that Bullet is not paying attention to him, takes a breath and WHAM~! OLD FASHIONED, DANGEROUS PILEDRIVER ON THE FLOOR~! Bullet lands hard and Fleming merely walks away. The referee looks down..and then slides out of the ring. He checks on Bullet, then puts up the dreaded CROSSED ARMS OF DOOM~! He motions to the back....
Russ: *quiet serious voice* This can't be good. Razz: *quiet serious voice* Jack Bullet has not moved since Fleming hit the piledriver.
The stretcher, backboard, and EMTs come rushing down, and very carefully place Bullet on the backboard, stabilizing his neck and then onto the stretcher. The crowd washes in hushed silence, waiting for Bullet to give thumbs up....but it never comes.
Russ: <still in his serious voice> Folks, not that the result matters, but the official verdict for that match was a double count out. Razz: You know, as a former competitor, you hate to see someone carried out like that, we all know the risks though…… Russ: I understand the risks involved during a match, but what Fleming did AFTER the match was just reprehensible Razz: I am if Bullet is capable, he will want to handle this himself Russ: Folks if we hear anything on Bullet’s condition, we will update you as soon as we can, until then, our best wishes go out to Jack
CLAN QUINN vs. THE MUYOS – Russian Chain Match
Mai and Juni are out first and they get a huge ovation from the crowd. They both climb to opposite turnbuckles and hold the chains high in the air, which draws more cheers from the fans.
Russ: Soon enough each Muyo will be chained to a Quinn. Razz: I’m still trying to figure out in which universe that is a good idea
The Saints are announced and make their way to the ring. They decide not to storm the ring this time, since Juni and Mai each have weapons in their hands. The Quinns slowly circle the ring, then slowly climb in. The referee takes the chains and lays them out on the mat. Moose steps to the end of one and Mai immediately steps to the other end, while Juni and Mai do the same on the other chain. Another referee comes in and both pairs have the chain fastened to their wrists.
Russ: This is not your traditional chain match, no touching the corners, the chain is perfectly legal, and the only way for this match to end is via pin fall or submission Razz: Good. The corners matches are always boring and have the same end Russ: Well, perhaps that is the laziness of the booker? Razz: Well, I have it on good authority that the writer of tonight’s match really hates the four corner ending and it’s one finish <both stop what they are doing and look at the screen, surprisingly Kay doesn’t appear> Russ: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have just been handed word that there has been an incident at customs involving Kay……… Razz: For those of you not keeping up on OOWF social media #RealOOWF, Kay was detained at the border because she and the Russian officials, and this is a quote, I don’t want to get into trouble “couldn’t figure out where Putin stopped being a political leader and started being a cartoon villain from the Rocky and Bullwinkle show” Russ: Well, we certainly wish Kay the best as she navigates this unenviable nightmare of Russian bureaucracy Razz: I just hope no one shows up with a bonesaw Russ: I am sure Kay has been thoroughly patted down by now
Inside the ring, Fire lunges at Juni and the two of them start straight up fighting it out. They quickly tumble to the floor where Eco is on top of Fire landing straight rights to the face until Fire whips Juni across the face with the chain. Juni howls in pain and grabs his face and falls to the floor. When we see him again, we see he has clearly suffered a broken nose, as blood is flowing freely. We are like thirty seconds into the match.
Inside the ring, Moose and Mai engage in a bit of a tug of war, slowly shortening the chain until they get to one another. Mai swings the chain at Moose, but Moose ducks and slips behind Mai and wraps the chain around her forehead and squeezes tightly trying to pop Mai’s head like a zit. A mule kick from Mai doubles Moose over, Mai drops the chain on the mat, then grabs Moose and drives him into the chain with a DDT. Mai rolls Moose over and covers, but Jack kicks out at two. Mai pulls Jack to his feet and shoves him into the corner and wraps the chain around her fist and lands several punches to Jack’s head. She climbs the turnbuckles and starts the ten punches of doom, the crowd counts along as Jack is opened up and bleeding. At six, Fire slides back into the ring and is heading for the corner to save Moose when Juni pulls hard on the chain pulling Fire to the mat. Fire snarls and gets to her feet, Eco is in the ring and he connects with a running kick to Fire’s jaw. Fire hits the mat and Juni covers, but Fire kicks out at two.
Mai grabs Moose and sets him on the top rope, then drives him back so he is stuck in the tree of woe. Mai whips Moose across the chest with the chain, then Eco whips Fire into the corner and she slams into Moose, who is still upside down. Before Fire can fall, Mai grabs both her arms from the apron and keeps her trapped in the corner. Juni grabs the chain to whip Fire with it, and he plays to the crowd, and the crowd overwhelmingly approves. Juni takes out years of frustration on Fire, whipping her across the back several times with the chain. Mai releases Fire and she falls to the mat and rolls to the floor, falling face first holding her back. Eco pulls Moose out of the Tree of Woe, then holds him steady, Mai wraps the chain around her boot and lands a kick right to the side of Moose’s head. Jack falls face first like a mighty oak and hits the mat. Mai rolls him over and tries to cover, but Moose slides free and escapes to the outside near his sister as the crowd roars like hell.
As Fire and Moose get to one knee and start to regroup, Mai and Juni grab their chains and head toward the opposite ropes, jerking Moose and Fire into the ring, they fall to the floor, and Mai and Juni get a running start and dive at Moose and Fire, but the Quinn’s slide in under the bottom rope as Mai and Juni sail through the middle rope. Moose and Fire step over the middle rope and leap off the apron and drop fists onto Eco and Mai and the crowd changes their tune and boos the shit out of this.
Moose and Fire put the boots to the Muyos, leaving them a bloody mess. Fire nails Mai with the monitor from the Ecuadorian announce table and Moose wraps his chain around Eco’s throat and tries to choke him out but Mai grabs the second monitor from the Ecuadorian announce table and throws it at Moose hitting him hard on the back of the head.
The match continues on in all its bloody glory for another fifteen minutes. The Russian crowd is thirsty for blood and loudly cheers everything that looks painful, which is everything. The end comes when Mai wraps the chain around Moose’s throat and throws him over the top rope. Moose fights it, but it is clear he is losing. The blood spurts from his forehead as he claws at the chain around his throat
Razz: I never thought I would see Jack in this position! How many people has he done this to? Russ: I am willing to bet there is no sympathy for him in the locker room
Moose is fading fast, Fire charges at Eco, who slides between Fire’s legs, Fire manages to nail Mai with a punch to the back of the head, a HARD punch to the back of the head that drops Mai to her knees and leaves her a bit woozy
Russ: I would be surprised if that isn’t a concussion for Mai right there Razz: Yeah, but the OOWF would never use a concussion as a story angle, would they? Russ: Just because she isn’t here doesn’t mean she can’t hear what you are saying Razz: I mean, oh no! Mai looks like she is OUT of it!
Fire reaches for Mai, but Eco pulls the chain which flips Fire to the mat, Juni pounces and kind of hog ties Fire, wrapping up her legs and arms……
Razz: This is a normal Saturday night for Fire and Lucas from what I hear Russ: You know, HE can hear what you are saying too Razz: I mean……OH NO! Fire is all tied up!
Eco covers Fire as she struggles to escape, Moose tries to get up, but he is down face first on the floor. One……two…….a frustrated Fire bellows in anger…….three. WINNERS in 44:10 – The Muyos
The referee unchains them and Mai and Juni slip out of the ring and slap hands with the fans before heading to the back. Fire is quickly on her feet and NOT happy. The referee wisely disappears. As Fire seethes, the crowd chants “YOU GOT PINNED! YOU GOT PINNED!” which only pisses Fire off more. She finally gets around to checking on her brother, she helps him to his feet, and they head to the back to a chorus of boos and we fade to black
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF New Year’s Evil 12, December 31st, LIVE! from Makaklio City, Hawaii! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! November 21st live! From Ulaanbataar, Mongolia
The Phillies are everything I hoped the Mets would be - a team that plays their fucking asses off for all 27 outs. They're never out of a game. Solly 10/20/09