[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#899)
Live! From Tampico, Mexico
January 23, 2019

Saints of Sinners vs. Jack Bullet, Kylie Mignolio & Bridget O'Malley
Sebastian Davis & Mama Juana vs. Alexis Darling & Mac Flasher
Shizuru vs. John Law
Beverly Cambridge vs. Nick Fleming vs. Zed


Card subject to nuclear war with Mexico.........seriously, tell me Trump isn't THAT stupid.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene finds a confused MAC FLASHER and an OOWF MEDICAL STAFFER at the bedside of an unconscious SHIZURU-MUNE MANGYUNIKU-COX*

MAC: “So, why exactly am I here?”

STAFFER: “Well, when Junichiro Muyo exited from the active roster, Shizuru went through a number of options for primary contacts. He settled on you, figuring that he hadn’t really burned any bridges with you.”

MF: “I see. Is there anything I should know?”

S: “We won’t know the full extent of his injuries until we get the test results back, but that suplex from John Law has - at the very least - strained his neck. We expect a full recovery, pending further findings, but he might be questionable for next week’s bout.”

MF: “I see. Has he been … Conscious?”

S: “Not since he was brought here.”

MF: “I see. Well, I guess I can be his …”

*JOHN LAW gleefully walks into the exam room* 

MF: “I’m guessing you aren’t here to bring him flowers.”

JOHN: “I always check in on my opponents after matches. It adds a real sense of accomplishment.”

S: “Sir, you are not authorized to be in this room, given Shizuru’s medical state.”

*JOHN grabs the STAFFER by his shirt and throws him through the doorway*

JL: “I’ll grant my own clearances.”

*MAC stands up and gets between JOHN and SHIZURU’s bed*

JL: “What are you going to do? Try to fight me off then cry to Bridget when the big, mean bully gets the best of you? Going to create me on that video game to get the only win you’ll ever get over me? You’ll do nothing, Flasher.”

*MAC stares down JOHN, then backs down*

MF: “You’re right. I won’t do anything. But I can’t speak for …”

*with a furious rage, SHIZURU leaps from his bed and clangs a bedpan off of JOHN’s head. With JOHN stumbling back, SHIZURU steps back and delivers a Dreammaker roundhouse kick square on his jaw. JOHN, now downed, is bludgeoned by whatever SHIZURU can grab. SHIZURU takes a blood-pressure strap and wraps it around JOHN’s neck, essentially choking him out as it constricts. An OOWF Official appears, but SHIZURU takes no further action*

OFFICIAL: “You gonna pin him or what?”

SHIZURU-MUNE: “No. When he wakes up, tell him I’m getting that win back on Wednesday. He wants to take cheap shots and make surprise attacks, he’s entering my world. I ran with the Saints of Sinners for six months, if he thinks that I didn’t learn a thing or two when there, his head is thicker than a redwood.”

*SHIZURU walks over and delivers a double stomp to JOHN’s face before exiting. MAC sighs and surveys the damage before more OOWF Medical Staffers arrive and ask MAC to leave. With JOHN laying in a puddle of his own blood, the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

*SEXY FEMALE JOURNALIST ICHIBAN stands at the OOWF Interview Banner when SHIZURU-MUNE MANGYUNIKU-COX approaches*

ICHIBAN: “Well, this is a surprise.”

SHIZURU-MUNE: “Expecting the champ?”

SFJI: “No. Just your newfound personality.”

SM: “That’s the thing, Ichiban. This is the realest version of me. The English is a lot better, but this is more me than you’ll ever see otherwise.”

SFJI: “Does that include your attack of John Law earlier today?”

SM: “As I said then, you run with the Saints of Sinners and you learn some things. John Law comes to OOWF and wants to show the world what a tough man he is. Well, he got the better of me on Wednesday. He might feed my teeth to me next week, but this will show that I’m not the guy who is going to take a beating without giving it back. John, we’re even now. Given an even playing field on Wednesday, you might be looking at your first loss in OOWF. To me, that will be just- ...”

*JOHN LAW charges toward the interview area, spearing SHIZURU-MUNE, prompting a brawl between the two while OOWF Security rushes in to pull the two apart. JOHN swipes at SHIZURU-MUNE while tossing out a few choice insults as the scene fades*

[Leo]

Sexy Female Reporter Ichiban reviews the recently wrecked set from a fight between John Law and Shizuru as Mama Juana walks on.

MJ: Expecting the champ?

Ichiban: No, and I wasn't expecting you either. I don't think you've done a standard interview segment since marrying Jack Bullet and joining the OOWF.

MJ: Nothing about me is standard.

Ichiban: Oddball tag team pairings of people feuding is pretty normal around here and you have that on Wednesday by teaming with Sebastian Davis to face Alexis Darling and Mac Flasher.

MJ: Feud I think is an awfully strong word for what Mac and I have going on. He's an afterthought I'm toying with until something better comes along. If he wasn't so jarred by my ways I wouldn't be messing with him so much.

Ichiban: And, I believe, you also recently did a tarot card reading for Bridget O'Malley, Mac's girlfriend.

MJ: What the cards said is for Bridge to speak on. I wonder if even Mac know what was revealed. But I did my own reading for Mac and Alexis on Mayhem and they say pain for them and victory for myself and Davis. Now, if you forgive me I have to take one of my 12 showers of the day. You may join me if you like.

Juana exits. Ichiban looks after her.

Ichiban: Wait...there's bonus pay for OOWF After Dark segments. I'll bring the soap!"

She walks off and we fade.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene finds MAC FLASHER playing his Nintendo Switch on the couch of his hotel suite while listening to music on his Beats headphones (“You” by Bad Religion if you need a song to accompany the imagery). While lost in the world of “New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe,” MAC hears a shriek from the bathroom area, even over the headphones blasting late-1980s punk. His satisfied smirk becomes a look of terror when it’s BRIDGET O’MALLEY emerging from the bathroom covered in yellow dye and not MAMA JUANA*

BRIDGET: “MAC! YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

MAC (pausing his game and discarding his headphones): “Oh my God … That was …”

BO’M: “Yes, it was for Juana. I get it. But really? Yellow dye from the showerhead? You can’t even change the oil in your car, but you can rig a shower to shoot out yellow dye?”

MF: “I had some help. Plus, I wouldn’t try to wash off in the sink?”

BO’M: “What?”

MF: “Some stuff went haywire when Carl from Fresno was assisting in this project, and that’s coming through all the faucets and whatever shoots out water. The work you get for $15 and a Lunchables pack in the fridge that I wasn’t even going to eat, these days.”

BO’M: “What the hell? That was my Lunchables pack. But I have to ask this, is Mama Juana that far into your head that you … You better pray this comes out before I go for my reading, at Mama Juana’s table, by the way.”

MF: “It’s totally water-soluble. You’re fine … Just maybe not here. But I'm not the one calling her an afterthought. She'll get hers ... ”

BO’M (hastily grabbing her things): “You better pray this comes out … I’ll be at Kylie’s suite if you need me.”

*BRIDGET storms out and slams the door behind her as MAC sighs, picks up his Nintendo Switch and resumes playing only to see that the color of his customized yellow Joy-Cons is pouring into his hands. A yellow-handed MAC searches the room for MAMA JUANA as the scene fades*

[Fire-Babe]

It's 3:45 in the morning and we find Firewoman in the deserted backstage production area walking up to the automatic doors that open when you step on a sensor. They take their sweet time when she approaches, but then eventually slide open. She looks at them, and walks through, then turns around and waits for them to close. She repeats the process, again almost walking straight into the doors before they open. She does this a few more times. The last time, the doors again cut it close and Firewoman is paying so much attention to the doors that she walks straight into Moose.

MHJ: What are you doing?

FW: Walking through the door.

MHJ: Yeah I can see...I mean it's 3:45 a.m. according to Voice Over Guy--

VOG: 3:46 now.

MHJ: --so why are you even awake.

FW: Because it was 3:26 about 20 minutes ago.

MHJ: ....

FW: ....

MHJ: Oh...I thought you were over that.

FW: Yeah, well, Lucas isn't here so.....

MHJ: Ah....Okay so instead you decided to test the reaction time for the doors?

FW: Jackie, did you ever watch "The Simpsons?"

MHJ: Yes?

FW: Do you remember the episode where Bart sold his soul to Milhouse?

MHJ: ......maybe....Fire, why can't you ever just answer a question?

FW: I am answering the question.

MHJ: ....Uh huh...

FW: In my own way.

MHJ: ....Uh huh....

FW: Trust me this is all very relevant.

MHJ: ....FINE....Yes, I sort of remember that.

FW: Okay then.

MHJ: ....

FW: ....

MHJ: OKAY THEN WHAT?!

Firewoman rolls her eyes with annoyance that her brother can't get this so obvious reference.

FW: Moose.....don't you remember? Bart couldn't get the sliding glass door to open because Milhouse had his soul.

MHJ: ....

FW: ....

MHJ: And you're checking to see if you have one?

FW: Yeah, but not much of one. Watch.

Fire repeats the same procedure and again the doors don't open until the last minute. Now it's Moose's turn to roll his eyes.

MHJ: That doesn't mean you don't--

FW: Oh clearly I have one, it's just not in the best shape.

MHJ: Fire, you--

FW: I'll prove it. You do it.

MHJ: What?

Firewoman pushes Moose to the door and lo and behold the same thing happens. The doors shut with Moose on the other side. He glares through the glass at her as she smiles smugly back at him. He advances to get back in, and as before, the doors hesitate to the last minute before admitting him.

FW: See?

MHJ: .......What are you implying?

FW: I think it took even longer for them to open for you than for me.

MHJ: Fire...it is too late and I'm too sober for theological discussions. It's an old barn and the doors are probably just sticky or rusted or--

Fire examines the doors closely.

FW: Too bad Mai's not here. I bet they'd swing wide open the second she THOUGHT about coming through them.

MHJ: I don't know why I ever ask you things.

FW: It's okay, though, because soon they'll do that for me.

MHJ: Oh? Going to get baptized?

FW: Not even. In a few weeks I'll have Jack Bullet's soul and it's pretty shiny still I bet. Those doors should open right the fuck up for me.

MHJ: .....

FW: ....

MHJ: That was a long set up.

FW: Yeah, well....

FADE

[DrMcAwesome]

*JOHN LAW stands at the OOWF Interview Banner with SEXY FEMALE JOURNALIST 5-0*

JOHN: “Figures. Everyone else gets these smoking hot journalists and I get the female Paul Blart.”

SFJ5-0: “Anyhow … John, you face Shizuru again after your convincing victory last week. Is there any change in your approach knowing that Shizuru has been involved in some heated brawls with you this week?”

JL: “Shizuru, I’ll give you credit for actually showing some fight. You’re the first person in this place to show me any kind of spine since I got here. But what happened last week was only a taste of what you’ll get this week. If you think for a second that you got my best effort …”

SFJ5-0: “Your best effort isn’t jumping a man before the bell and then beating him senseless and motionless after the match was won? That’s refreshing.”

JL: “Had Shizuru accepted his punishment like a man, then last week would have been the worst beating he ever received. But Shizuru had the right to remain silent and chose to shoot off his mouth and sneak attack me when I was paying him a visit in Medical. He will learn on Wednesday that there is no justice. Just pain.”

*with an exaggerated shoulder bump, JOHN shoves his way past SFJ 5-0 as the scene fades*

[DevSop]

*General Manager's Office*

There's a knock on the door and we hear a shocked Victor DeNiro.

Victor: What the hell is that sound?

Danny: *gestures towards the door*

Victor: People normally barge in and tell us what they don't like. I'm not used to someone actually knowing what a door is and how to use one.

*The knocking continues*

Danny: *waves come in towards the door*

Alexis Darling enters followed by her brother.

Lexie: Thanks Danny.

Alex & Victor: How did you...

Lexie: Don't worry about it. Anyway, you wanted to see us.

Danny: *gestures towards Alex and gives a thumbs up*

Alex: Yes, I should be medically cleared by the weekend and ready to go. I hope you got our request.

Victor: *pulling a piece of paper off the desk* Fleming & Davis; No DQ?

Lexie: Yup. It's time these wannabes remember why WE are the most feared family in the OOWF.

Danny: *makes a gesture of antlers*

Alex: Whenever he gets off his ass and gets medically cleared, I'll have no issue ending things once and for all but that is not where my career ends and it's time Fleming & Davis learn that I am not going anywhere. That Alexander Darling has always been and will always be the best wrestler in the world. These young bucks can try time and time again to knock me down but at the end of the day they will be the ones on their back and bending the knee to their betters.

Victor: You know, we have interviewers and promo areas to do things like that.

Lexie: Always a sweetheart Vic. Danny, a pleasure as always.

The Darlings get up and walk out closing the door behind them.

Danny: *motions towards the door and makes some other hand motions*

Victor: Yea, a pleasant Darling family worries me too. I'll keep an eye on them.

*Fade*

[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#899)
Live! From Tampico, Mexico
January 23, 2019

SHIZURU vs. JOHN LAW

“Untouchable” brings out John Law, who arrogantly smirks as he walks toward the ring. As John leans in to taunt a fan holding a “Shizuru 4 Life” sign, Shizuru races down the ramp and hammers John from behind with a chair. With John on one knee, Shizuru stands over John, urging him to get upright only for John to deliver a low blow. As Shizuru writhes in pain, John picks the smaller fighter up by his trunks and tosses him unceremoniously into the ring. As Shizuru shakes the cobwebs, “Junior” Hale tries to cut John off on his path to Shizuru. John shoves Hale to the side and walks right into a flying knee to the jaw.

With a scream, Shizuru runs toward John and begins clawing at his eyes, only getting his grip broken when John tosses him over the top rope and onto the apron. John spears Shizuru into the barricade as Hale is already signaling for the bell.

Ladies and gentlemen, referee “Junior” Hale has ruled this match a no contest (0:00).

Shizuru picks himself up and gets a face full of John’s right hand, but gives it right back fast the two engage in an NHL-style fistfight as Hale is waving on OOWF Security. The two are trading off trips around the ring fixtures when the yellow shirts manage to pry the two apart … For a brief moment until John bulls through security and delivers a crushing lariat to Shizuru, who struggles to break away from security until John grabs him by the hair and throws him into the crowd. Shizuru grabs a nearby chair from a well-intentioned fan at ringside and plasters John to stop him cold. Shizuru continues the chair-assisted beatdown until OOWF Security pulls him off of the downed rival. John struggles to sit up, getting no encouragement from fans – or really even anyone under OOWF employ – as Shizuru breaks away from security and hits a shining wizard to drop John where he sat. Only then does Shizuru acquiesce to the requests of the yellow shirts.

SEBASTIAN DAVIS & MAMA JUANA vs. ALEXIS DARLING & MAC FLASHER

With Sebastian Davis and Mama Juana already in the ring, and Mac Flasher atop the entrance ramp, Alexis Darling doesn’t even wait for her music to hit before charging to the ringside area and wanting a piece of Sebastian. While Mac is showing no fear of Mama Juana, he’s taking his time on his way to the ring as Juana lets Alexis and Sebastian sort out their issues. That’s good enough for Mel Creech, who rings the bell with Alexis and Sebastian rolling around on the mat and trading punches. Alexis peels off of Sebastian and stomps away while he tries to cover himself, retreating to a neutral corner, where Creech has the unenviable task of pulling Alexis away. Finally he manages to separate the two as Sebastian hurriedly tags in Juana.

Juana steps between the ropes and doesn’t take her eyes off of Mac, who reaches in and tags in, despite Alexis not knowing. Mac overpowers Juana with a snap mare, a press slam and a few sharp shoulders in the corner. When Mac tries to mount the turnbuckles for 10 punches, Juana calmly slides out of the predicament and to the outside. Mac urges Juana to return to the ring while Juana is content to let Creech reach 7 on the count before rolling in. Before Mac can lock up with Juana again, she gets into her smoke-blowing pose, causing Mac to give Juana all the space that she needs. Juana reveals nothing underhanded before charging at Mac with a running knee strike. Mac stumbles back as Juana drills him with a Stinger Splash. With Mac trying to get his distance from the corner, he turns into a springboard meteora that gets 1. Juana stays on the offense, but allows Sebastian his turn at Mac as the two exchange quick tags with fluid individual offense, but nothing tandem … Yet.

A punch-drunk Mac takes a swing at Juana before falling face-first at her feet. Sebastian tags in and hoists Mac up into a spine buster position as Juana bounces off the ropes and delivers a leg lariat as Sebastian sends Mac hard to the mat. That gets 2 before Alexis breaks up the count.

Sebastian tries to intimidate Alexis as Creech sends her back to the apron, getting a forearm shiver to the jaw for his efforts. With Creech chiding Alexis, Mac decks Sebastian with a discus elbow, running to the corner only to have Juana race over and send Alexis flying before a tag could be made.

Sebastian hoists Mac into an electric chair drop, sending to the mat as Juana delivers a pair of knees to his chest from the top. Juana tries to cover, but Creech notes that Sebastian is the legal member of the team. As Sebastian saunters over, he’s caught in a small package that gets 1 before Juana breaks up the pin attempt. Mac stands and ducks just in time as Juana’s elbow finds Sebastian instead. Mac makes a hot tag to Alexis, who has clotheslines for everyone. Two of them, even. A third rotation comes as Juana and Sebastian are slumped in opposite corners. Alexis then picks on Juana with a butterfly suplex that sends her out of the ring. She stares down Sebastian, but tags in Mac, who just made his way to his feet during Alexis’ rampage. With Sebastian in a daze, Mac puts him up in position for a Flash Drive with Alexis mounting the turnbuckles.

Russ: “Is this …”
Razz: “A career-ender? Yes, but Alexis isn’t one to not already know that.”

Before Mac can start the drop, Juana shoves Alexis into Mac and Sebastian, creating a pile of bodies on the mat. In the confusion, Sebastian is able to reach into his tights and produce a pair of brass knuckles. A right cross to Mac’s jaw – as Creech tends to Alexis – drops him on the mat. As Juana occupies Alexis, Creech sees Sebastian making a cover on Mac, with the aid of tights … Not that the help was needed.

Your winners (pinfall, 11:17), the team of Sebastian Davis and Mama Juana.

Sebastian celebrates his win with a few taunts toward Mac as Alexis pops in with a series of blows to trigger a brawl. While that’s happening, Juana just looks over Mac, without much intent as he slowly comes to. Mac immediately tries to defend himself as Juana cackles and backs away. Mac, while still very confused, passively tries to pull Alexis off Sebastian and gets a slap for his troubles as the two continue to tear into each other.

BEVERLY CAMBRIDGE vs. NICK FLEMING vs. ZED

Everyone is introduced and the bell rings. Fleming immediately nails Bev with a forearm to the back of the head and dumps her over the top rope to the floor. Fleming tries a roll up on Zed, but Zed kicks out before the one and spins to his feet and ducks a clothesline from Fleming. As Fleming runs toward the ropes, Bev is on the apron, she springs to the top rope and hits Fleming with an elbow to the jaw and covers, but Zed breaks it up at one.

Zed grabs Bev and pulls her to her feet and whips her into the turnbuckle, then pulls Fleming up and sends him in as well. Bev moves out of the way and Fleming slams chest first into the corner, as he staggers backward, Bev grabs him around the waist and hits a release German suplex. As Bev is getting to one knee, Zed charges in and hits her with a shining wizard that lays her out. Zed covers, but Bev kicks out at two. Zed is quickly to his feet, he grabs Fleming and sends him to the ropes and connects with a dropkick to the jaw that sends Fleming over the top rope to the floor.

Zed turns his attention back to Bev, but she pops him on the jaw with a superkick that rocks the champ on his heels. Bev hits the ropes and takes Zed down with a hard lariat for a two count. Bev gets to her feet and hits the ropes again, and Fleming low bridges her from the outside. Bev tumbles over the ropes to the floor. Fleming grabs her and slams her face first into the Spanish Announce Table, then drops her with a DDT on the floor.

Fleming rolls back into the ring and he and Zed go at it. Zed has the upper hand initially, but Fleming cuts him off with a punch to the throat, then plants him with a snap suplex. Fleming takes over on Zed and wears him down, on the outside we see Bev struggling to her feet, her forehead busted open from the DDT. She tries to get on the apron, but fails. Medical comes down to check on her, but she shoves them away.

Inside the ring, Fleming calls for the piledriver! He sets up Zed, but Bev has somehow managed to climb the ropes. She leaps and connects with a missile dropkick to Fleming’s face, sending him to the mat. Bev is slow to her feet, but as she stands, she grabs Fleming and lifts him for a powerbomb, then throws him over the top rope to the floor! No table, just the floor! Bev turns around and Zed kicks her in the gut and rolls her into a small package, but Bev manages to reverse the roll up and gets the three count! Zed is stunned!
WINNER in 14:05 – Beverly Cambridge

JACK BULLET, KYLIE MIGNOLIO & BRIDGET O’MALLEY vs. THE SAINTS OF SINNERS

The champs are out first, and somewhere Alan Capps seethes in rage. The Saints music hits and they storm the ring, and the fight is ON! Fulton clotheslines Bridget over the top while Folz backdrops Kylie to the floor. Bullet bails out of the ring to regroup with his partners, as they huddle up Fire runs to the corner, scales the ropes and dives at the trio sending them all crashing to the floor.

Fire grabs Bullet and throws him back into the ring then follows and puts the boots to him before hooking him for a trio of suplexes. As she lifts Bullet for the last suplex, she tags in Fulton. Fire drives Bullet to the mat, then rolls out of the way, Fulton hits the ropes and drops the DROPLINE on the world champ! Fulton covers, but Kylie races in for the save.

The Saints cut the ring off and put a beating on the world champion. To Bullet’s credit, he escaped every pin attempt. The turning point comes when Folz sets Bullet on the top rope and scales the ropes for a superplex, but Bullet blocks the move and fights Folz hammering him with forearms to the side of the head until Folz falls to the middle of the ring. Bullet stands up and launches himself and drops a perfect leg across Folz. Bullet covers, but Fire makes the save, drawing Kylie and Bridget into the ring. As the four brawl, Folz slowly gets to his feet and pulls Bullet up, but before he can do anything, Kylie and Bridget break away from Fire and Fulton and KILL Folz with a double superkick to the jaw! Folz lets go of Bullet and falls flat on his back, Bullet falls the opposite way, right into his corner where Kylie tags herself in!

Kylie charges in and drops Folz with a spinning heel kick, then ducks a clothesline from a charging Fulton, then catches him with a high knee to the nose on the rebound. Fire grabs her from behind, but Kylie quickly switches positions and takes Fire to the mat with the Florida Key! The referee doesn’t make the count, Fire wasn’t legal, so Kylie releases the hold. All six are now in the ring and all hell breaks loose, they brawl inside and outside the ring. The end comes when Bullet reaches for Folz and Folz swings a chair over his head and slams Bullet in the head! Bullet staggers backward and Fire grabs him and traps him in a triangle choke! Fire takes him to the mat, then gives the full body scissors! Bullet fights but he is trapped in the middle of the ring, the referee checks his arm, it drops once, twice……THREE TIMES!
WINNERS in 42:39 – The Saints of Sinners

The Saints continue to brawl before security finally gets them apart and up the ramp. Inside the ring Kylie and Bridget help Bullet to his feet. The show closes with Bullet staring down Fire and Fire returning his stare with a smirk on her face.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF End of Days 12, February 24th, Live! from Casper, Wyoming. And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem: Dance of Death 12 Live! January 30th Live! From, Mexico City, Mexico