[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem: OOWF Invitational Semi-Finals (#903)
Live! From Idaho Falls, Idaho
February 20, 2019

OOWF Invitational Semi-Finals
Matt Folz vs. Alexis Darling
Shizuru vs. Mama Juana

Clan Quinn vs. Banned From Everywhere
Beverly Cambridge vs. John Law vs. Zed
Mac Flasher vs. Sebastian Davis
Jack Bullet & Alexander Darling vs. Bridget O'Malley & Kylie Mignolio


card subject to another kitten attack

[Sportsguy]

We fade backstage immediately after the show and see the Saints. Matt has a big smile on his face and Clan Quinn each have a demented look in their eyes. Matt looks into the camera.

Matt: First of all, to Sebastian Davis...and this comes from the very bottom of my heart... I told you so Bitch! Any more phony guarantees you want to make? But I'm sure the main question on everyone's mind is why? Why did we jump Mac, Beverly, Kylie and Bridget at the end of the show? And there are two very simple explanations. 1. Because we felt like it and 2. Because we knew no one could stop us. If anyone in this company has a problem with what we did, you know where to find us, we aren't hiding. Reports of the Saints demise have very much been exaggerated. I'm only disappointed in one thing tonight. As weird as it sounds, I'm actually pissed off that Alexander Darling lost. I was very much looking forward to beating the shit out of his sister and then him in back to back weeks on my way to once again becoming World Champion.

The trio walk off without another word as we...FADE.

[DrMcAwesome]

*MOOSEHEAD JACK, FIREWOMAN and MATT FOLZ are all standing outside of an unnamed building in Idaho Falls, Idaho as a PHWF/OOWF crossover show is taking place. The Saints of Sinners, still satisfied at their handiwork, pull aside an unnamed CAMERAMAN and his production team to set up an impromptu interview*

MOOSE: “You know what’s the best part about what we did to O’Malley, Cambridge, Mignolio and Flasher in Provo? The fact that it will continue as long as we choose to keep beating those punks down. Fire, you saw it … Totally defenseless against us, even when they had the numbers. Folzy …”

*a boom mic drops onto MOOSE, halting him in mid-thought. MOOSE’s glee turns into annoyance in a hurry. MOOSE stares down the PRODUCTION ASSISTANT and notices a pair of black Converse All-Stars. While the darkness hides the ASSISTANT’s face, MOOSE has a good idea of what’s going on*

MHJ: “Hold up. You … Get over here. Yeah. Mr. Boom Mic Dropper.”

*the ASSISTANT meekly obliges, limping over toward MOOSE*

MHJ: “Something about you strikes me as familiar. I can’t quite put my finger on it …”

*MOOSE blows a puff of cigar smoke into the ASSISTANT’s face while FIREWOMAN and MATT surround the ASSISTANT*

MHJ: “Now I’m sure that you don’t want any trouble. I mean, you’re certainly not a wrestler here in OOWF. Even though you’re aboooouuuutttt 6-4 and you wear these black sneakers. I’m sure that you just want to get home to your lady, who certainly isn’t a redhead trained in many MMA disciplines. And I’m sure that limp has nothing to do with anything recent in some place like, I don’t know, Utah.”

ASSISTANT: “I … I … I just work for the local news station. I’m not even into OOWF. This is just my job.”

MHJ: “Oh. I believe you. It’s just … That your carelessness made me spill a drop of Trust Me. When Trust Me is wasted, so is blood. And since it was your buttery fingers that caused this accident, it’ll be our hands to enforce a punishment.”

*the ASSISTANT nervously looks to see that he is surrounded by the Saints of Sinners. MOOSE is the first to shove the ASSISTANT as the rest of the production crew looks on in horror. Soon the shoves turn into more intentional contact*

MATT: “Look. We didn’t want any trouble, either. We just wanted to enjoy this night in Idaho where we could have taken some time to relax and reflect on what we’ve done.”

FIREWOMAN: “But, it appears that our good natured fun was ended in a flash.”

*FIRE takes off the baseball cap of the ASSISTANT to reveal him as … not MAC FLASHER. Not that it will matter to MOOSE*

MHJ: “So you aren’t Flasher. Oh well, you’ll do.”

*MOOSE folds the ASSISTANT in half with a right cross, but before the attack can go any further BRIDGET O’MALLEY, KYLIE MIGNOLIO and BEVERLY CAMBRIDGE run in to stop the potential carnage. As the three women square up with an individual Saint, MOOSE falls to the ground, followed by MATT and then FIREWOMAN. The shot spins around to reveal MAC FLASHER with a baseball bat and a look of malicious intent in his eyes. MAC then starts barking orders with BRIDGET drilling FIREWOMAN with a kick to the temple. BEVERLY and KYLIE each work over MATT while MAC picks up MOOSE. With a nod to BRIDGET, MAC hoists MOOSE and BRIDGET lifts up FIREWOMAN, crashing their heads together with stereo German Suplexes. While MOOSE, FIREWOMAN and MATT lay in a heap, MAC finds the still rolling camera from the production crew, held by a trembling CAMERAMAN*

MAC: “As you can see. The Saints of Sinners aren’t the only ones capable of sneak attacks in OOWF. Plenty of good seats are still available for Wednesday’s MidWeek Mayhem, but OOWF Medical just lost three available beds.”

*MAC, BRIDGET, KYLIE and BEVERLY depart while the feed spins to the unconscious Saints as the scene fades*

[Leo]

“Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet still drunk and smelling of booze and vomit walks into Danny Taylor’s office unannounced.

JB: How dare you book me again next week. What are you thinking?

Bullet then throws a glass of maybe water, maybe gin, on Victor DeNiro.

VD: Hey! I just talk for Danny, he does all the booking.

JB: I know that. But, I kind of like him and you’re a human canker sore.
Danny stands and signs to DeNiro, who translates.

VD (for DT): You may wish to talk to your wife. Mama Juana got you booked against Nick Fleming last week and asked for a tag match this week. Something about you needing to play well with others. We chose Alexander Darling as your partner, because he was available, but Juana specifically asked for Kylie Mignolio and Bridget O’Malley as your opponents.

JB: She doesn’t speak for me.

VD (for DT): Well, you don’t seem to be speaking for yourself much lately. If Dr. Dre Gaines hadn’t signed off on this being good therapy for you, we would not be booking you, no matter what Juana wanted. And, if you put anyone else in the hospital this week for fun, you’re on the unemployment line.

JB: What if I throw up on them?

VD (for DT): Gross, but not a fireable offense.

JB: What if I urinate on them?

VD (for DT): Well, that would be indecent exposure, so I think that’s at least a fine and suspension.

JB: What if I keep my pee in a jar and throw it on somebody whose name might rhyme with Commander Starling.

VD (for himself): Look, we’re done here. Get your act together, because Mama Juana and Dr. Gaines is only going to get you so far.

JB: Alright, but don’t drink anything in a jar you might find lying around backstage.
Bullet trips out. Danny looks at Vic and shakes his head as we fade.

[Leo]

Mama Juana stands in front of an OOWF banner with Sexy Female Journalist…uh, 27? (I don’t know who all the numbers are)

27: Mama Juana, you have defied expectations in the OOWF Invitational Tournament, advancing to the semi-finals on the coming Midweek Mayhem.

MJ: I defied the expectations of everyone, but myself. Nobody thought I could beat Firewoman and I did. Nobody thought I could beat Alexander Darling and I did. Nobody thinks I can beat Shizuru this week…well, actually most people think I can do that. Regardless I will be the next OOWF World Champion.

27: A belt formerly held by your husband, Jack Bullet, who has become a drunken mess since he punched Firewoman. On the last Mayhem he put Nick Fleming in the hospital. A match that you asked for, knowing Bullet was in no condition to compete.

Juana grabs 27 by the front of her attire and pushes her back in disgust.

MJ: I do not own my husband and he doesn’t own me. His path in the ring and mine are separate. Our joint path outside the ring is private to ourselves. If I am directing his career somewhat at this time, it’s only because the cards are directing me to do so.

Jack Bullet then wanders onto the stage, having just come from Danny Taylor’s office.

JB: What the hell are you doing? I don’t want to wrestle, I want to drink, I want to puke in dive bars, I want to pee in a jar.

Juana slaps him full in the face. There is a slight flash of anger in Bullet’s eyes and a brief moment of clarity. He cocks a hand to strike, but then does not.

MJ: You are the champion the OOWF needs right now. You need to be the Jack Bullet that I know you can be. The best form of yourself. Firewoman has achieved the greatest victory she can over you, but you can reverse it still. I have never asked a thing from you for myself and don’t now. Don’t put yourself back together for me, or to spite Firewoman, or Josie and Kylie, or even the fans. Do it for yourself.

The haze returns to Bullet’s eyes and with some mumbles and grumbles he trips off. Juana narrows her eyes and stares after him as we fade.

[Road Warrior Shark]

~~~ We find SFJ #44 standing in front of the OOWF Interview Banner with Onslaught Champion Sebastian Davis. ~~~

SFJ #44: Sebastian, oyu came up short in the Invitational this past week....

Davis: (cutting his eyes at the SFJ) I don't know what you're talking about. What I know is I'm stuck wrestling Mac Flasher this week. Mac, haven't you had enough? Didn't embarrassing you on pay per view teach you enough of a lesson? You want another beating? You got it.

I've put a stranglehold on this title. Taken this division by storm. News flash: Hurricane Sebastian is blowing through the OOWF. Take cover if you can. Mac Flasher, Wednesday, you get to Take The Plunge. And that, my friend, is Guar. An. Teed.

~~~ Davis pats the belt and walks away silently. ~~~

[Jack Quinn]

<cut to the absolute bar in Idaho, where we see Moose sitting drinking and smoking cigars. The door slams open and Jack Bullet staggers in and the bar goes silent. Moose, just about to take a drink, looks toward the door at Bullet as he staggers toward him. The bar, full of all sorts of burly, drunken, fight-ready individuals, begins to empty out. Moose stands, sort of, I mean, whiskey.>

JB: WHY MOOSEHEAD FUCKIN' JACK!

MHJ: What do you want, Bullet

JB: <slurring> Two things. One......<pointing to a bottle on the shelf> Onna those. <the bartender quickly puts the bottle on the table before him, Jack opens it, clinks it against Moose's glass and takes a long drink from it> and two......to have a drink with Moosehead Fuckin' Jack!

<Bullet sits down next to Moose, Moose slowly sits down, still eyeing Bullet. They drink in silence for a moment>

JB: Hey, you wanna know somethin'?

MHJ: What?

JB: Your sister ruined my life.

MHJ: She's been known to do that to a man

<Jack clinks his bottle against Moose's bottle, no need for glasses anymore>

JB: I mean......wha......what happened? I was the champ! I was on toppa the world! Those people LOVED me!

MHJ: Those people are fuckin' idiots

JB: <points to Moose and clinks his bottle again> True nuff, but they LOVED me! They loved that I wouldn't hit a woman! They thought I was a cowboy! And then.......then.......she made me hit her! Why would she do that?

MHJ: Cause it's fuckin' funny

JB: Huh?

MHJ: Bullet, you don't get it do you? It's what we do, it's who we are. We find your weakness, we find your line, we prey on your weakness, we make you cross that line. Fire could have got into that ring and beat you one on one, she's that damn good, but that wasn't the point.

JB: The point wasn't to win the match?

MHJ: When ruining your life is an option?

<another long pause as Bullet processes this>

JB: Hey.....I thought she said she wasn't gonna team with you?

MHJ: She said that

JB: 'An you didn't beat her up!

MHJ: I did not

JB: WHY?

MHJ: Because a...........friend.......told me not to, just get her in the ring and she would know

JB: Huh.......was it Mama Juana?

MHJ: What? No, why would it be.......

JB: <leaning in real close to Moose> Is she real?

MHJ: Fire?

JB: <whispering> No.......Mama Juana

MHJ: You married her

JB: Sometimes I'm not sure if others can see her

MHJ: We've wrestled her

JB: DID you? Or did you just PRETEND to.......to mess with me more!

MHJ: You know what? You got us. She's not real. We've never wrestled her.

JB: WAIT! What about that stuff on OOWF After Dark?

MHJ: Just you, drunk off your ass, with a giant stuffed animal

JB: AGAIN?

MHJ: Yeah, I think you are banned from several states

JB: <ordering another bottle> That doesn't sound good

MHJ: <drunkenly laughing> Welcome to Being a Heel

JB: You know, I don't really hate it

MHJ: You need a tougher name Blackjack Bullet

JB: OOOOH! I like that! "Black" Jack Bullet!

MHJ: No, not like that! You can't say it like that

JB: Like what?

MHJ: With the emphasis on the Black

JB: I can't?

MHJ: Not unless you want Stank lookin' for you when he gets back

JB: Oh! You mean Blackjack Bullet! Hey, we could team Blackjack and Moosejack, the Bullet Club!

MHJ: Ok, coupla things wrong with that......

JB: We can wear masks! And add people MacJack, Firejack, MattJack........

MHJ: Alexjack!

JB: Nah, fuck that guy

MHJ: <laughing> you're teaming with him this week!

JB: I am? Who books this shit?

<we hear an off screen cough>

JB: Who do we face?

MHJ: Bridget and Kylie

JB: Ain't they the tag champs?

MHJ: They are, until they face us!

JB: The Bullet Club?

MHJ: <shaking his head> NO! Clan Quinn

JB: But........I'm not a Quinn, so that doesn't......

MHJ: ME AND FIRE

JB: OH! OHHHHHHH. So we get a shot at the titles?

MHJ: Non-title match

JB: So, I am teaming with a guy I don't like, in a non-title match, against the tag champs, the week before a pay per view where Alex will face you......

MHJ: Yes

JB: Well.......there is NO chance we win that match!

<Kayfabe breaks a chair across Bullet's back, he collapses to the floor, out cold. Moose and Kay bump knuckles>

MHJ: Thanks Kay

<Moose goes back to drinking as if nothing happened, and we fade>

[Leo]

A 1978 Cadillac El Dorado pulls up to the arena for tonight’s Midweek Mayhem. The back door opens and Jack Bullet falls out to the ground with a couple of booze bottles. The car pulls away. Bullet rolls onto his stomach. A shadow falls over him, feet appear in his view. Bullet looks up.

JB: Mama Juana?

Alexander Darling reaches down and gruffly pulls Bullet to his feet.

AD: Do I look like a woman to you?

JB: Do you want me to answer that question?

AD: Look, nobody around here knows better than me how Firewoman can rip a man’s soul from his body, crumple it up, piss on it and laugh about it just because it’s Tuesday, but even for the OOWF don’t you think you’re being a little too melodramatic about this.

JB: (long pause) Can we just keep answering questions with questions?

AD: We were put together as a tag team tonight for ‘what the hell’ reasons as far as I can tell. This isn’t going to become some sort of permanent thing. No D&B connection, no Them Darling Bullets. I don’t give a damn if we lose or win tonight. If I’m standing on that apron, it’s a contractual obligation because I don’t want to do anything to upset management and push off me getting my hands on Moosehead Jack any longer. Get it?

JB: Moose Jack! He’s my new drinking buddy. We’re going to form the Bullet Club. You can join. You can be Alex Jack, uhh…Ajax. Yeah!

AD: Only so you’re not an embarrassment to me, why don’t you take a hot shower, drink a pot of coffee and put on some fresh clothes?

JB: (long pause) Everything you said has ended in a question.

AD: Here’s a statement, go fuck yourself!

Darling walks off and we fade.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene finds SHIZURU-MUNE MANGYUNIKU-COX sitting on a bench in the locker room, and while he knows that an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA is present, he chooses to focus on a spot only known to him on the floor between his boots*

SHIZURU: “Two weeks ago, I wasn’t even in the OOWF Invitational. I wasn’t even booked for that week’s MidWeek Mayhem until after the card was posted. Now I sit here a win away from an opportunity at the OOWF World Title, having not won a match in the ring.

“I’m only here because ‘The Crusher’ Stan Fulton isn’t. I’m only here because John Law couldn’t keep his temper. Mama Juana, on the other hand, has two honest-to-goodness wins in the Invitational. Juana beat two of the best to ever put boots on the mat in this company. And she’s the reluctant Cinderella of this whole thing?

“But the thing is … For two years, I’ve been here and I barely registered on the radar of anyone on the championship committee. Sure, I’ve held the Onslaught Title a time or two, but I was always the afterthought that took an opportunity and ran with it. It was lost in the fact that I was known more for laughs out of the ring than my ability inside of it. Hell, only two people on the payroll knew that I could speak near-perfect English before I gave up the act.

“Again, I’m not supposed to be here. If ‘Crusher’ was still here, I’m probably in a handicap match with Banned From Everywhere against Clan Quinn. And I’d have made my mark on that bout all the same. But tonight, Juana, it’s you and I. You have the momentum. You want us to believe that it’s all smoke and mirrors, but I’m not going to deny that you can go. I won't deny that you're probably the most dangerous person remaining in the field, because you're wrestling above your scouting report each and every week. I will not deny your abilities, Juana ...

*SHIZURU looks at the INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA*

S: “... But tonight, I will deny you an opportunity at the OOWF World Title, because you’re in the way of an opportunity that I’m not supposed to have, but I damn sure won’t give it up.”

*as SHIZURU turns to his locker to get his workout gear, the scene fades*

[Leo]

An empty locker room is shown. Suddenly a shimmer is shown, a sort of blur in the image and then it clarifies into Mama Juana.

MJ: Shizuru, good to hear from you at the 11th hour. Your wining falls on deaf ears. Nobody believes in me. Nobody thinks I can win. You know how you change that? Win tonight. Beat me clean in the middle of the ring. But you won't do that? You know why? Because I am not wrestling beyond expectations. I am wrestling at my expectations. I can beat anyone on any night and what Firewoman or Alexander Darling did 10 years or 10 minutes ago means nothing. What matters is the future. I am always looking toward the future. I am always following the path of the cards. They have clearly predicted my path to the OOWF World Title. You know what they predict for you?

She turns her hand in the air and a tarot card appears. She shows it to the camera.

MJ: The Fool. You are the fool you have always been. You are the fool you will always be. But it is better to be playing the fool and know it than to be a fool and not know it.

She turns her hand and the card disappears.

MJ: Am I just smoke and mirrors? Am I a figment of my husband's fevered imagination? Am I the next OOWF World Champion? Am I the latest person who will send you, Shizuru, running embarrassed from the ring with your tail between your legs? Only one of those questions have a certain answer. It will be revealed tonight on Mayhem.

Mama Juana's form then seems to pull apart and blur as she disappears from view and we fade.

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman sits across the table from Dr. Sidney Freedman, as he goes through her file.  She nervously picks at the fabric on the chair, fiddles with her Bullet-Soul necklace, and keeps checking her watch.

Dr.F: In a hurry?

FW: I have a match in like two hours, Doc....I don't know why we can't do this some other time.

Dr.F: First, you keep ducking me. Second, I'm concerned about your current program.

FW: Wrestling Banned from Everywhere? I mean, I know I trained them for a while and--

Dr.F: And Justin Sane is still employed by you.

FW: By Lucas. Don't worry, Doc, I didn't teach them everything I know.

Dr.F: I mean about your current partner.

FW: My brother? It's fine.

Dr.F: Is it? You were kind of hesitant last match after you had been adamant you were not teaming with him.

FW: Yeah, well...

Dr.F: Which was AFTER you were adamant you weren't joining the Saints and even THAT was after you were adamant you weren't coming out of retirement.

FW: ...well, when you put it that way...

Dr.F: ALL of which was orchestrated by your brother.

FW: Aren't you the one who demands that I have coffee with him whenever either of us remember to promo it?

Dr.F: That's to help HIM. I'm contracted for both of you.

FW: Oh...well, I'm sure it's fine.

Dr.F: Fire....look, let's check in on the many faces of Fire, shall we?

Sidney flips some pages, while Fire looks around nervously.

FW: I don't think we need to do that whole multiple personality thing again--

Dr.F: Fire with your history, it's a psychiatric miracle that your psyche is as fragmented but together as it is. The only difference is that yours didn't fracture into separate distinct entities that aren't always aware of each other.

FW: Huh?

Dr.F: So let's see...ah, here it is. There's ... and I have to use the vernacular of your occupation to describe these...

FW: The what?

Dr.F: There's uber face Fire, who believes she's a heel. There's face Fire, who accepts that she's a face.

FW: Are those different?

Dr.F: There's business-savvy Fire....There's uber-heel Fire that plays the victim...

FW: HEY!

Dr.F: There's...how do I put it.... blood and guts and gore Fire.

FW: My favorite.

Dr.F: There's protector of the innocent Fire.

FW: My other favorite.

Dr.F: There's um....how did Alex put it...."Sexual Wildcat Fire".

FW: He said that? Wait, when did you talk about--

Dr.F: I would call it a sexual addiction.

FW: Oh, that....

Dr.F: Then there's evasive Fire who plays mind-games with riddles and double talk.

FW: Um, what's that, eight?

Dr.F: For now.

FW: So, what's the point of this trip through my psyche?

Dr.F: I'm not sure that partnering with your brother, who may or may not be talking to his dead twin Patrick is the best step to take here.

FW: *angrily* Well... fortunately for me, you aren't my manager.

Dr.F: ....

FW: .....

Dr.F: .....

FW: *relenting with a sigh* You're right...I ... I will keep it in mind.

Dr.F: You will let me know if you hear ANYTHING weird...well, weirder than the usual around here.

FW: I will...I promise.

Dr.F: Good. Okay hour's up. Good luck on your match.

Fire nods and leaves. She walks down the hall and towards the sliding automatic glass doors that seem to have popped up everywhere. She stops....and then advances. The doors part easily. Fire walks through and turns to watch the close. She smiles and kisses the locket.

FW: Thanks, Jack.

FAAAAAAAAAAAAADE

[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem: OOWF Invitational Semi-Finals (#903)
Live! From Idaho Falls, Idaho
February 20, 2019

CLAN QUINN vs. BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE

“Arma-goddamn-motherfuckin-geddon” plays out Clan Quinn, with Moosehead Jack and Firewoman stopped at the top of the ramp by Drunkey and Drunkette. Both Moose and Firewoman try to pass the donkey pair to get to the ring, but both are swift enough to prevent passage, much to the increasing frustration of Moose and Firewoman. Moose then gets to a knee and starts issuing verbal threats to Drunkey while looking him in the eye. Just as Drunkey brays at Moose, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville and Justin Sane attack the Quinns from behind. The donkeys part the aisle as Bill beats on Moose and Justin, the same to Firewoman.

Clan Quinn is unceremoniously rolled into the ring as Mel Creech quickly calls for the bell to open the match, giving zero concern to who is legal or if anyone wants to be legal. Eventually Bill backdrops Moose over the top and chases him out, leaving Justin and Firewoman as the default legal combatants. Justin tries to get the advantage with an arm-wringer that Firewoman easily escapes. Justin then grapples Firewoman to the mat, attempting to float over to get her into a grounded side headlock. Firewoman again maneuvers her way out of the predicament and snickers at the flustered Justin. All of this while Bill and Moose brawl around the ring with Bill banging Moose’s head off the announce table. Bill tries to clear off the table, only for Moose to roll into Bill’s knee, crumbling him to the ground.

Moose then rolls into the ring and batters Justin from behind, creating a 2-on-1 attack as both Quinns put the boots to Justin. This doesn’t last long as Bill grabs the ring bell and heads into the ring with bad intentions. Creech manages to cut off Bill’s use of the bell on Firewoman, which gives Moose a chance to take Bill down and instigate a roll-around fight as neither man can stay on top for very long. Finally Moose is able to nudge Bill out of the ring and resume his focus to Justin, but not before Bill gets back into the ring, grabs both Quinns by the head and delivers a pair of noggin-knockers, prompting both Firewoman and Moose to groggily roll out of the ring. Bill helps Justin up before heading toward the apron as Justin climbs the ropes. With eyes on Moose, Bill assists Justin with Banned From Space, crashing both men into the barricade. Firewoman pulls Bill down from the apron on rakes his eyes before sending him face-first into the post.

Russ: “Mel Creech has lost complete control of this match.”
Razz: “You’re implying that he was interested in maintaining control, plus given the events of last week, Banned From Everywhere owes the Quinns a receipt.”

Firewoman grabs Justin from the wreckage and tosses him into the ring. She sets him up in the corner and barks taunts at him before slapping him. This enrages Justin enough to slap Firewoman in response. This results in a “You fucked up” chant from OOWF faithful as Firewoman grabs Justin by his beard and tosses him around the ring, while never letting go of his beard. Bill comes to and tries to make the save, but Moose pulls him down and sprays “Trust Me” in his eyes. Bill calmly wipes his face and pulls an eyedropper filled with PCPL. Bill subdues Moose enough to send one drop to each of Moose’s eyes, immediately putting Moose in blinded agony.

Bill rolls into the ring and pulls Firewoman off Justin. The two stare each other down as Justin crawls behind Firewoman. Bill shoves Firewoman back into a cradle attempt by Justin that gets 1. Firewoman pops up and lays into Bill, getting pulled back by Justin, who is immediately discarded. With Moose still writhing on the mats on the outside, Creech finally commands Bill to head to the apron. As Bill is escorted to his corner, Justin grabs the bell and grips it for dear life as Firewoman starts to wrestle it from his hands. Before Creech can turn around Justin lets go and plays dead as Creech looks at the scene and begins to question Firewoman, who doesn’t even argue … Instead choosing to drill Justin with the ring bell. Prompting Creech to call for … Well, I guess that’s still in the ring.

Your winners (disqualification, 12:10), Banned From Everywhere.

Bill rushes in to prevent a further beating, but has his back turned to Moose, who charges in with a chair and plasters the Georgian. Bill falls as Firewoman continues bashing Justin with the bell. While Creech is able to temporarily pull Firewoman away, Moose annihilates Bill with the chair until OOWF Security rushes in to pull the Quinns away. Bill struggles to his feet and picks up Justin, to a raucous applause as both bloodied men slowly make their way to the back.

MAC FLASHER vs. SEBASTIAN DAVIS

Masato Misawa inspects both Sebastian Davis and Mac Flasher before calling for the bell to open the match. Mac offers a handshake to Sebastian, who quickly slaps the hand away and tries to catch Mac with a right. Mac ducks and picks Sebastian up before dumping him in the corner. Mac allows Sebastian to emerge from the corner unscathed, giving the OOWF Onslaught champion a chance to actually catch Mac with an open right hand. Sebastian stays on the attack with a knee lift and repeated elbow drops to Mac’s neck and back. Mac is able to roll over and catch Sebastian’s attempt at a stomp, flipping him on his back before popping up and returning the favor of repeated elbow drops, getting to 7 before Sebastian rolls out of the way and out of the ring.

Mac urges the crowd to get louder while Sebastian catches his breath and holds his chest. That gives Russ a chance to throw it to a commercial for OOWF After Dark’s newest special: “Bing-Bong’s Big Bang” followed by an ad for an all-new “Cocktails with the Darlings.”

The action returns with Sebastian cranking a chin lock on Mac. A replay shows Mac crashing and burning when his Kennywood’s Open attempt was sidestepped, leaving Mac no choice but to land on the Girl Scouts cookie table. As Samoas and Savannah Smiles scattered across the ringside area, Sebastian delivered a double forearm shot from the apron, pushing Mac’s face into a stack of Thin Mints.

Back in the ring, Mac is able to stand Sebastian up, dragging the action to the ropes where Misawa calls for a break.

Mac Flasher has used his first rope break.

Sebastian breaks, but sends a jab to Mac’s throat for his troubles.

Sebastian Davis has received his first warning.

Misawa gets into Sebastian’s face, allowing Mac to throw a forearm shiver to a semi-distracted Sebastian. Mac suplexes Sebastian, holding to him to do so again. With the crowd applauding, Mac – still hanging on – suplexes Sebastian a third time, getting 2 off the subsequent cover. With Sebastian baking away, while on his backside, Mac pulls him up and tries to hook him into a Flash Drive. Sebastian shifts his weight down and leans between the ropes.

Sebastian Davis has used his first rope break.

Mac gives Sebastian enough space to return from the ropes before trying to work him into a Duquesne Incline. Sebastian powers out before lifting and cradling Mac into a cradle slam that gets 2. Sebastian then stomps on Mac’s back a few times before locking him into a Camel Clutch. As Sebastian pulls Mac back, Misawa looks for a submission from Mac, but gets nothing. Mac seemingly starts to fade in Sebastian’s clutches before the Idaho Falls crowd claps some life into Mac, as he snaps to. The red-faced Pennsylvanian is able to slowly pull Sebastian to the ropes, prompting a break.

Mac Flasher has used his second rope break.

Mac, slow to get up, pulls the top rope down as Sebastian charges, sending him crashing to the piles of cookies still scattered across the ringside area. Mac drops down, grabbing a Thin Mint and munching on it as Sebastian slowly gets to his feet. Misawa’s count is at 11 before Mac enjoys a second cookie and pulls Sebastian back into the ring. Mac tries a Clemente Bridge Suplex, getting Sebastian’s shoulders down, but unable to prevent the Texan from hooking his boot on the middle rope.

Sebastian Davis has used his second rope break.

Mac releases Sebastian, only to get tripped up and hooked into a Calf Crusher. With no rope breaks remaining, Mac’s only escape options include submitting or working his way out of the hold. As Mike Elevenbee announces that a minute remains in the match’s time limit, Mac’s instincts to pull Sebastian to the ropes work to his disadvantage as Sebastian pulls him back to the center of the ring. In desperation, Mac reaches back and rakes Sebastian’s eyes.

Mac Flasher has received his first warning.

Mac, now limping, sees Sebastian punching at thin air. Mac quickly pulls Sebastian to an inside cradle as Elevenbee counts down the final 10 seconds. Misawa’s third slap comes just as Elevenbee’s count hits zero.
WINNER (pinfall, 14:59), Mac Flasher!

Mac quickly rolls out of the ring as Sebastian kicks the bottom rope in frustration. Sebastian then looks at Misawa, complaining about the eye rake and pulling a fist back. Misawa stays right in Sebastian’s face before cooler heads prevail and Sebastian exits in huff, grabbing his Onslaught Title in the process.

BEVERLY CAMBRIDGE vs. JOHN LAW vs. ZED

Law stares daggers into Zed, but its Beverly who attacks first. She takes advantage of Law’s distraction, clobbering him from behind. Zed watches, as the other man takes a beating in the ring. Zed soon enough gets involved, sliding into the ring as Law turns his attention towards Zed. Law feigns a punch, sending Zed scattering out of the ring. Law turns his attention back to Beverly, who is up to her feet after being knocked down! Beverly grabs Law, planting him in the middle of the ring with an Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex! Law flies across the ring, rolling to the outside as he tries to recover quickly. Zed soon tries to attack him, not doing much damage in the process. Beverly sees this, rushing over to that side of the ring as she takes out both men with a suicide dive!

The crowd cannot believe it! All three men lay on the outside of the ring, Beverly getting back up to her feet first. She grabs Law, tossing him into the crowd as she looks to focus on Zed. Zed pleads with Beverly, doing his best to get away from her in a joking manner, Law sees this and begins to seethe. Beverly grabs Zed, planting her open palm in the middle of his chest with a HUGE slap! Zed falls to the floor, as Beverly turns and taunts the other opponent. The momentum quickly shifts though as Law catches Beverly with a Forearm. This stuns Beverly allowing Law to attack with an aggression that hadn’t been shown yet in this match. It works, definitely catching Beverly off guard as Law takes her down with a Suplex. .Law attacks the right arm of Beverly Cambridge, dropping a knee right onto her shoulder. The Former Champ screams out in pain, as Law delivers another brutal Kneedrop to his opponent’s shoulder!
As the match goes on, so does the punishment to Beverly’s shoulder and arm. Law focuses in on it, and manages to keep Zed out of the ring too. Zed cannot seem to put any offense together, being attacked at every opportunity he has. Law whips Beverly to the rope, who quickly ducks under Law and connects with a Dropkick. The move sends Law to the outside as Bev quickly follows that up with another Suicide Dive! Zed soon follows this up, attacking from the top rope with a frog splash! Zed takes out Beverly Cambridge, coming down on that right shoulder that Law had been attacking. Beverly lays on the outside, in pain, as Zed focuses back on Law. The two re-enter the ring, as Zed takes advantage of Law’s stunned state. Zed connects with a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker, and follows that up with an Ankle Lock! The momentum clearly seems to be on Zed’s side as the match progresses on. Soon enough Zed finds that he’s not alone in the ring, as Beverly Cambridge has made her way back into the ring. Even with one arm, Beverly is a dangerous woman. Zed charges at Beverly, who promptly swats him into the nearby corner! Law gets up to his feet, and clobbers Beverly with a Double Axe Handle from the middle rope! Law laughs, as he thinks that he’s taken back control of this match.

This doesn’t last long as Beverly soon enough begins to fight back. Even with one arm, Beverly is fighting as Zed and Law get back up to their feet. Beverly connects with a Release German Suplex to Zed, connecting with a Flapjack to Law! Beverly is looking to capitalize; locking Law in a one-armed Texas Cloverleaf! The crowd cannot believe it, as Zed ries to connect with a Crossbody from the middle rope! Beverly lets go, grabbing Zed with her one good arm, slamming him down onto Law! Beverly applies an Inverted Figure Four Leglock on Zed, putting Zed into a world of pain! Zed stays in the middle of the ring, unable to get away. Zed eventually is able to connect with several right hands. Each punch getting him closer and closer to escape until he’s finally able to get away! Zed uses the top rope to stand, as Law finally gets to his feet. Law charges Beverly Cambridge, who sends him toppling over the top rope. Law stands on the apron and drags Beverly to the outside with him. Both battle for stability, as Beverly looks to drop Law on the apron. She tries for a Suplex, but Law fights out of it. Law tries for a Suplex of his own, but Zed comes charging in with a Dropkick that sends both of them crashing to the floor!

This crowd is red hot as both crawl back into the ring, while Zed looks on. Beverly Cambridge looks to be in bad shape, having taken a lot of damage from Law and Zed in the last few moments. She tries getting to her feet, but Law clobbers her with a series of Forearm Smashes. Each one worse than the other as Law has a look in his eyes. He’s trying to keep Beverly down, but the she just won’t stay down! Law tries for a Floating Neckbreaker, but Beverly fights out of it. Zed gets involved, connecting with a Superkick as Law connects with the Autodrop! The Brainbuster connects, much to the surprise of everyone! Law tries covering Beverly, but Zed quickly pulls him off of her. The two begin to argue, as Law blasts Zed with a stiff Right Hand! Zed drops to the canvas, the crowd booing Law as he stands tall in this match. Beverly tries getting back up to her feet, but Law is right there. He lifts her up and drops her to the mat with a powerful slam. Beverly is down, as Law looks over at Zed , he’s ready to finish this match right now! Zed is brought up to his feet, but Law quickly drops him as he looks out towards the ramp.
The crowd can’t believe it as Shizuru runs out from the back, with a chair in his hand! The referee tries to intercept him but Beverly, stumbles and takes the ref down with him. Shizuru slides into the ring and connects the chair with Law’s head! Law goes down! Shizuru keeps on swinging, as Beverly, clutches her shoulder and rolls away from the ref. Zed watches as Shizuru winds down and tosses the chair out of the ring, than sliding himself under the rope.
As the ref climbs back into the ring, Zed, scoops Law up and DDT! Scooping the leg, he pins the almost limp Law as the ref slides into position.
WINNER in 23:15 - Zed

Shizuru goes around the ring, kneeling beside Beverly, and helping her up.

SHIZURU vs. MAMA JUANA – OOWF Invitational Semi-Final

DING!!! DING!!!

As Razz and Russ carried on, the match began at the sound of the bell. Juana darted across the ring, headed straight for Shizuru as he stood in the corner. He wasn’t unaware of her though, no, he saw her coming and he held his position. Leaping into the air, Juana flew at him ,closing in foot by foot until Shizuru rolled to the mat and out of the way. Juana, she landed both feet on the middle ropes of the corner and looked over her shoulder. As Shizuru stood to his feet, she leaped away from the corner, twisting through the air until facing him at the exact moment she wiped him out with a crossbody.

Fast as lightning, she hit him with a left and a right to the face before popping back to her feet. Kicking him in the ribs as he was down, she rolled him over to his back. Hooking her legs with his, she then jumped up, lifting his legs before slamming them back down to the mat with a double leg stomp. With her legs still hooked with Shizuru’s, she leaned over and grabbed his arms, pulling them behind him. She then rolled back to a seated position, pulling Shizuru up and locking him in a Romero stretch.

RAZZ: ”Mama Juana isn’t wasting any time tonight, is she?”
RUSS: ”She surely isn’t. At the sound of the bell she erupted from her corner like a bat out of hell.”
RAZZ: ”I’m surprised you even noticed to be honest.”

After about a minute of cranking down with that move, Mama Juana eased up before allowing Shizuru to fall forward, smacking his face against the canvas. She stood to her feet and pulled Shizuru up as well, throwing him into the nearby corner. Climbing to the middle ropes while over Shizuru, she began to rain down on him with rapid punches as the crowd counted along with each landing one.
“One! … Two! … Three! … Four! … Five! … Six! … Se–“

Before she could land the seventh punch, Shizuru threw both of his arms into the air, blocking her from being able to hit him again. He then pocked onto her head and forced himself away from the corner as he stepped forward, holding Juana up. Dropping down to the mat, he hit her with a sit-out jawbreaker! Her chin bounced off the top of his head as her head and body whipped around to the side. She didn’t go down, but the impact of the move left her a little off balance as she walked away in the opposite direction. Pushing himself up, Shizuru then ran in her direction, running past her before hitting the ropes in front. Coming off the rebound, he leaped forward, ringing her bell with a flying clothesline.

Shizuru managed to land on his feet after connecting with the clothesline. Juana on the other hand, she hit the mat hard but nearly bounced right back up as she raised to her knees. Running to the adjacent ropes, Shizuru hit them harder than before and as he came back, he jumped legs first, wrapping both around her head before pulling it down and driving it into the canvas with a hurricanrana driver. Rolling her over to her stomach, Shizuru then mad the cover as the official raced from across the ring with the count.
ONE
.
.
Juana kicked out before the officials hand could slap the mat a second time. Shizuru pushed himself up, circling Juana for a short moment before pulling her up. Locking an arm around her head, he grabbed the side of her waistband before lifting her up and dropping her instantly with a snap suplex. Turning to the ropes again, Shizuru hit them but this time he rolled forward on the mat before coming up to his feet and leaping into the air with a front flip, landing across Juana’s body with a rolling thunder!

He rolled off of her body and up to his feet in a fluid motion before continuing forward to the corner not far away. Climbing up to the top, he turned to face the inside of the ring, standing tall and raising his hands up and down, over and over hyping up the crowd. He then jumped from the corner, flipping forward and as he came down with the 450 splash, he ate nothing but canvas as Juana rolled out of the way at the last split second.

She quickly pushed herself up as Shizuru remained down, feeling the effects from that missed splash from great heights. She hopped over his body and then leaped forward, planting both feet onto the middle rope and springboarding off. Rotating her body in mid air, she landed a leg drop across the back of Shizuru’s head, smashing his face even further into the canvas. Knowing that Shizuru was in some pain from the crash landing followed up with leaving an imprint of his face in the canvas, Juana rolled him over to his back and quickly made the cover.
ONE
.
.
TW–

RUSS: ”TW–“
RAZZ: ”And Shizuru gets a shoulder up!”
RUSS: ”These two are working so fast I’m over here getting out of breath just watching.”
RAZZ: ”I thought I heard you breathing a little heavy over there.”
RUSS: ”Shut up Razz! It’s this new headset I got. It picks up every little sound and makes it sound one hundred times louder.”
RAZZ: ”Crazy how it didn’t do that just now when you said that.”
RUSS: ”I turned down the volume!”

She pulls Shizuru up to his feet before whipping him to the corner as hard as she can. As Shizuru crashes against the corner, Juana is right behind him, charging straight ahead. Dropping down hands first, she plants them into the mat before elevating her legs into the air. She pushes herself up with a handspring, twists her body and connects with an enzuigiri to Shizuru while going over the top rope and landing down onto the apron in the process. Shizuru stumbles away from the corner but still on his feet as Juana pulls herself up to her feet using the rope.

She climbs the corner but Shizuru catches a glimpse in the corner of his eye. Rushing to the ropes, he lunges forward, slamming both arms down onto the top rope and causing her to lose her balance and fall to a seated position on the top of the corner. She doesn’t stay up for long before she tips forward, falling over to the mat in front of the corner. Shizuru grabs ahold of her, pulling her up but out of nowhere, Juana slams him down face first into the middle turnbuckle with a reverse STO.

Shizuru’s arms drape over the middle ropes of the corner as Juana rolls underneath the ropes and to the apron. She drops down to the floor as the official begins his ten count.
“One!”
Walking over to the corner, she grabs each of Shizuru’s arms that are draped over the middle ropes.
“Two!”
She then pulls them as hard as she can, pulling his upper body through the ropes and smashing his shoulder against the ring post.
“Three!”
Rolling back into the ring, she ends the officials ten count. Grabbing his legs, she pulls his entire body back into the ring before rolling him over to his back and making the cover.
ONE
.
.
TWO

Shizuru kicks out at the two, causing Juana to rage as she remains on top of him. Swinging down onto his violently, she hits him with lefts and rights to the head and body. She then gets up to her feet and begins kicking him rapidly in the ribs until eventually rolling him out onto the apron. Shizuru drops down to the floor, looking down and not paying attention as Juana rushes to the ropes on the other side of the ring. When she comes back, she slides feet first underneath the bottom rope, wrapping her legs around Shizuru’s head and then taking him down to the floor with a baseball slide headscissors. Again, the official begins his two count.
“One! … Two!”

Although Shizuru took the majority of impact from the move, Juana felt some of its effects as well. Side by side, the two slowly pushed themselves up.
“Three! … Four!”

She stood first, lunging at Shizuru but getting hit with an elbow shot to the stomach instead. Grabbing her by the head, he pulled her away from the ring before throwing her forward and rolling her into the ringside barricade.
“Five! … Six!”

Pulling her up from the floor, Shizuru then dragged her back towards the ring and rolled her into it. He then followed himself, ending the ten count as both wrestlers were now back into the ring. Juana had rolled a few feet away from the ropes. Shizuru slowly approached her. He was cautious, but not cautious enough as Juana had a trick up her sleeve. With him in range, he did a kip up, wrapping her legs around Shizuru’s head unexpectedly and flipping him over to his back with a head scissors.

Shizuru rolled across the ring before stopping in an upright seated position. Juana, she popped up, raced across in his direction and hit him with a running kick to the lower back. The sound of her boot smacking his skin echoed throughout the entire building. She pulled him up from behind but she wasn’t the only one with moves out of nowhere. Shizuru had one of his own as he reached up and pulled her over his shoulder, rolling her to her back with a snapmare. Shizuru followed the move up with two back to back forearm shots to the back of her head.

He stood tall, and then pulled her up as well. Spinning her around, he kicked his in the stomach and then latched onto her arm. Pulling her in, he whipped her across the ring and to the corner. At least that’s what he had planned but he stopped short as John Law ran down to ringside. Keeping his grip on Juana, Shizuru watched the other man. As Law made like to slide into the ring, the official darted over to block his path. As Juana struggled, her opponent started to swing her again, but she reversed the throw and sent him charging directly for the corner. She followed behind him and as he slammed against the corner, she leaped forward. Quick as a flash she connected with drop kick, as he waivered, stumbling into the middle of the ring, Mama Juana pooped up and hit him with another! As he fell to the man, she connected with brain rattling superkick that put him flat on the matt! Shizuru jumped out of the way. Juana’s feet landed on the middle ropes again but this time Shizuru was expecting her to jump off in his direction. She did just that and stopping her in mid air, he hit her with a dropkick in the stomach. She fell to the mat on all fours and as she pushed herself up to her knees, Shizuru swept in, connecting that a brain rattling superkick that put him flat on his back!

After rolling him over to his back, the official slides in beside them with the count.
ONE
.
.
TWO
.
.
THREE!!!
WINNER in 25:18 – Mama Juana

MATT FOLZ vs. ALEXIS DARLING – OOWF Invitational Semi-Final

The crowd boos as "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" plays and Matt Folz makes his way to the ring. He warms up in the corner and the crowd response is slightly better as "Life is Beautiful" plays Alexis Darling down. The referee checks both for weapons and then calls for the bell.

Matt takes Alexis down easily and then elbows her hard in the back of the neck. Then again....and again. Matt follows up with a brainbuster and snap suplex. Overhead Belly to belly Suplex gets 2. Matt with a spinebuster and then a Dragon Suplex for 2. Matt questions the count but quickly goes back on the attack with a Bridging German Suplex. Alexis kicks out at 2.999999. Matt gets in the referee's face and not so politely asks where he learned how to count. Unfortunately for Matt, this allows Alexis a chance to catch her breath for the first time in the match and then dive into the back of Matt's knee.

Alexis pulls herself up and then drops repeated elbows to the inside of Matt's knee. She spends the next few minutes giving Matt a taste of his own medicine, using a combination of suplexes to keep Matt down and then also working on his knee in between them. Butterfly Suplex and Brainbusta set up a curbstomp that gets a VERY close 2 count. Alexis with a kneebreaker and then she locks in the Darling Clutch. Matt's in a ton of pain as he tries to escape from it but can't. Matt has his hand up and looks like he's about to tap when he makes one last ditch effort and barely makes it to the bottom rope. Alexis breaks the hold but quickly pulls Matt up and sets up for the Bitch Killer. Matt rakes Alexis's eyes and slips out of it.

Matt goes for an Angle Slam but his knee buckles and Alexis falls on top for another 2 count. Alexis with a snap suplex and she heads up top for a Shooting Star Press. She leaps, but Matt rolls out of the way at the last second. Matt wastes no time and quickly locks in the Folzmission. Alexis struggles and nearly makes it to the ropes, but Matt leans back and applies the bodyscissors. Alexis has no choice but to tap.
WIINNER (Submission, 20:22) and moving on to the finals of the Invitational Matt Folz

ALEXANDER DARLING & JACK BULLET vs. KYLIE MIGNOLIO & BRIDGET O’MALLEY

Alexander Darling’s music plays and he comes to the ring, and looks CLEARLY annoyed. Jack Bullet’s music plays, but he doesn’t come out. It starts again, then is cut off and the OOWF World Tag Team Champion’s music hits and they make their way to the ring. As they are about halfway down the ramp, a clearly drunk and filthy Jack Bullet staggers out from the back.

Russ: My god, is that Jack Bullet?
Razz: Dude looks like he hasn’t showered in weeks!
Russ: He can’t even walk a straight line
Razz: This reminds me of Jake Roberts at that Heroes of Wrestling show
Russ: Folks……quite frankly, this is embarrassing

Officials try to get Jack to the back but he shoves them aside and staggers toward the ring. Alex is yelling something at him from inside the ring, Bullet starts to laugh and climbs onto the apron and struggles between the ropes. As soon as he does, Darling DROPS him with a superkick to the jaw, then turns and yells at Kylie to pin him. Alex storms out of the ring and heads to the back, yelling at officials along the way.

Kylie falls on Bullet, and hooks him hard, even grabbing some tights when Bullet tries to kick out, just to keep him down, the referee gives the fastest three count you’ve ever seen, and the crowd boos the this out of Bullet.
WINNERS in :03 – Kylie Mignolio & Bridgett O’Malley

A disgusted Kylie gets to her feet, as she does, Clan Quinn storms the ring, and the fight is ON! As they’re brawling, Bullet gets to one knee against the middle rope, and Fire runs over and kicks him hard enough to fall to the floor. Bullet hits hard, then rolls against the railing and pulls a flask from his pocket and takes a drink.

Inside the ring, the four are brawling, with Kylie and Bridgett holding their own against the out of control Quinns. Danny and Vic head toward the ring and pull Bullet to his feet and force him to the back, we hear Vic yelling:

YOU’RE OFF THE PAY PER VIEW BULLET! YOU WILL BE LUCKY NOT TO BE FIRED

Russ: Folks this is the damnedest thing I’ve ever seen! Jack Bullet had no business being out here tonight!
Razz: Uh, someone might want to stop these four from killing one another…….

As if on cue, security floods the ring, but the Quinns and the champs continue fighting, the crowd is about to riot. At the top of the ramp we see Danny signing something to Vic, Vic turns to a production assistant

FADE OUT ALREADY! ENOUGH!

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF End of Days 12, February 24th, Live! from Casper, Wyoming. And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! February 27th Live! From Durango, Colorado