[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem: MADNESS 15 (#908)
Live! From Georgetown, Washington DC
March 27, 2019

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Zed vs. Matt Folz

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
Clan Quinn vs. The Frenemies

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match
Alexis Darling vs. Sebastian Davis

Anything Goes, Comes As You Are, Pinfalls County Anywhere, Hardcore Match
Stacy Kirkland vs. Jack Bullet

Alexander Darling vs. John Law
Beverly Cambridge vs. Shizuru vs. Mac Flasher


Card subject to political gridlock

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman is LAYING~! in Dr. Freedman’s office, psychotherapy-style on the couch, as he sits just behind her, taking notes.

DrF: Fire, it’s not like you to miss promotional appearances, and you didn’t go to a single one last week.

FW: I know, doc…I think there’s something really wrong with me. Like…REALLY wrong.

Dr. Freedman is stunned. He freezes, pen suspended in hand over the pad of paper he is taking notes on. He blinks.

Dr. In eight or so years, you have never ONCE said there may be something wrong with you….

FW: ….

DrF: I…I may faint.

Firewoman leaps up.

FW: You okay? Do you need some water?

He composes himself.

DrF: Oh, no no… please, lay back down.

Fire does.

DrF: Okay, where were we?

FW: You were being a smart-ass.

DrF: Right. Okay, what makes you think there’s something wrong with you?

Fire relays the story of the Amish young lady that she turned away, and then follows up with a story about a nun, with the same outcome, and as she’s starting to tell about an imam, Dr. Freedman stops her.

DrF: Not that I don’t enjoy these exploits of yours, but let me paraphrase. Multiple times this past week or so, you’ve attempted to…uh… <df>engage with</df> a somewhat innocent, possibly virginal, person—

FW: I can’t see you, but I feel like you just used dickfingers around the words “engage with.”

DrF: Focus, Fire… and then before anything happened you just… stopped?

FW: Yep….

DrF: Why do you think you didn’t follow through?

FW: I don’t know, it was weird. It’s like I heard this small voice in my head telling me that what I was getting ready to do was wrong….and it FELT wrong, like…..

DrF: Hmmmm….what do you think that voice was?

FW: I don’t know maybe….maybe a….. a …. SPIRIT!?!

DrF: Um…well, maybe that could have been it, but—

FW: It didn’t sound like Patrick….oh geez, maybe I picked up another one—

DrF: Let’s stay out of the supernatural realm, just for a bit. No, Fire, I think you might be developing a conscience.

FW: A…….huh?

DrF: A conscience is a cognitive process that elicits emotion and rational associations based on an individual's moral philosophy or value system. Conscience stands in contrast to elicited emotion or thought due to associations based on immediate sensory perceptions and reflexive responses—

FW: I don’t have a moral philosophy.

DrF: *ignoring her* In common terms, conscience is often described as leading to feelings of remorse when a person commits an act that conflicts with their moral values.

FW: But I don’t have—

DrF: Fire, it’s a sense of what’s right and wrong. Somewhere, somehow, you learned or remembered that it is wrong to use people that way, and so you stopped.

Firewoman sits up and looks thoughtful, as if she’s trying to put all this together.

FW: Or……

DrF: Here it comes.

FW: OR… maybe I’m just….Oh gods, maybe I’m becoming….

DrF: Moral?

FW: MONOGAMOUS!?

DrF: What?

FW: Look, when I was married to Alex, and engaged to Jericho, everyone was in agreement on this open relationship thing.

DrF: Were they really?

FW: *ignoring him* Worked for them, worked for me. But now—

DrF: You’re married to Lucas.

FW: What if he’s not down with that?

DrF: What if he’s not?

FW: I mean, I got needs, don’t I?

DrF: We may be getting off topic.

FW: No, no, hear me out. We got married and then off he goes to have knee surgery. Didn’t even get much of a honeymoon. So he’s back in Atlanta and I’m still traveling with my needs and stuff, so I try to get those addressed, and… and… he’s there not liking that I’m getting them addressed so he … YES, he gets his brother Jared to send a spirit to tell me to not do that.

DrF: ….I don’t even know where to begin to go with that.

FW: Well, I’m going to go call him right now and tell him to knock it off.

Fire leaps to her feet and rushes out the door.

FW: Thanks doc!

Dr. Freedman sits down and rubs his temples.

*special thanks to Wikipedia for the psychobabble about 'conscience'

[Road Warrior Shark]

~~~ Fade into the OOWF Interview Banner. We see the Onslaught Champion looking particularly upset. ~~~

Sebastian: I guess you didn't hear me. Or maybe you didn't understand. This match DOES NOT HAPPEN. I'll fight Alexis, gladly. I'll tear her limb from limb if you like. But under NO circumstances does she get a shot at MY TITLE.

Do I need to make my point clearer to you Danny? Do I need to start making examples around here? You know, there are always casualties when a storm rages through. The forecast says another Category 5 Hurricane is heading to this miserable swamp here in D.C. Danny, how many innocents will become victims this time? How high will the death toll rise? You have your warnings. Cancel this title match. I will gladly fight the little scamp. But under no circumstances does she get a chance to take from me what is mine.

And know this, if you try to pull some sort of stunt, decide to strong arm me in ANY WAY, I won't be responsible for my actions. Their blood will be on your head. Guar. An. Teed.

~~~ Davis shoves the INC to the floor, and we get a sideways view of his boots as they walk away. ~~~

[Jack Quinn]

<Moose walks into the Destroyitarium and sees Fire sitting at a table reading some garbage self help book. Moose sets a coffee down in front of her, grabs the book, looks at the cover, then tosses it across the room>

FW: HEY!

MHJ: What the hell are you doing?

FW: I WAS reading

MHJ: Why are you reading that garbage?

FW: It's NOT garbage! <Fire throws the coffee across the room, Moose hands her another one>

MHJ: Is this still about that Mormon girl you didn't molest?

FW: SEDUCE

MHJ: Whatever. You need to get the fuck over it.

FW: You don't understand. Something is.......something is different

MHJ: <sighing and pinching his nose> Goddamnit Fire, after a fucking DECADE of bullshit, we FINALLY get to team and go after the titles. We have tag champions who haven't even acknowledged our existence and are busy with their own bullshit. We SHOULD have fucking won those titles the first time we faced them, and yet.......here we are without any titles

FW: And you're blaming ME?

MHJ: Not entirely

FW: What?

MHJ: We have to stop with Bullet. What you did with Stacy, nice touch, but fuck Bullet's drunk ass. He is meaningless, he is a broken man just trying to convince himself that he still has it. Let him fight Stacy, then he can go drink himself to death in some Oklahoma trailer park. We have titles to win.

FW: This isn't about Bullet

MHJ: The fuck it's not

FW: Look, it's just........I wish Lucas were here

MHJ: Yeah, that would be great. But Stank's not walking through that door. Neither is Stan Fulton. Neither is LD Williams. I am sick of this bullshit. Now, let's go.

FW: Where?

MHJ: We have ring time scheduled

FW: We do?

MHJ: We do now.

<fade>

[L!zz~]

(Kylie sits down nearish Fire, quiet for a moment, taking a sip from her bottle of water)

Fire: What?

Kylie: This whole conscience thing you have going on...

Fire: Doesn't mean I'll take it easy on you.

Kylie: I wouldn't expect it. But, maybe Josie has something to do with it too. She loved being with you. I know you Skype with her and I'm glad you do. She misses you. As crazy as it might be you were really good for her.

Fire: You're telling me this why?

Kylie: (rises) Because caring for a child is like nothing else in the world. It makes you reevaluate everything you ever thought. I know. I've been there.

Fire: (just looks at her)

Kylie: Well, see you in the ring.

Fire: Enjoy your last moments with the titles.

Kylie: Maybe they will be, but we're not giving them up easily.

(They exchange nods and Kylie walks off. Fire waits till she is out of ear shot than pulls out her phone, opening up Skype. A few moments later Josie appears on the screen. Fire walks off somewhere private so they can speak)


Fade

[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem: MADNESS 15 (#908)
Live! From Georgetown, Washington DC
March 27, 2019

<the show begins with pyro and loud music, the crowd in Georgetown goes NUTS!>

Russ: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to OOWF MidWeek Mayhem: MADNESS 15!
Razz: We have a great sho………

<before Razz can finish his thought, some generic music begins to play and Vic walks out to the top of the stage with a mic>

Vic: Cut the music. Cut the music please. Ok……..so, as some of you might have heard from the gossip sites…….Danny Taylor has taken an indefinite leave of absence as general manager <crowd boos> Yeah, I know. The good news is, it’s nothing physical, there is no illness, there is no family emergencies, nothing like that, all is good, he just………well, Danny decided it was time for him to move on so he could devote more time to his ferret farms in upstate New York. All of us here wish Danny the best, and we’re all going to miss that mute sonofabitch <crowd cheers>

Now, in the interim, until we find a new GM for the OOWF, I have been appointed the acting GM <crowd cheers> Thank you very much. Now, I have no intentions of bringing widespread change to the OOWF, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? But there IS one change I want to make to the card tonight. The winner of the Beverly Cambridge versus Shizuru versus Mac Flasher match will get an OOWF Onslaught Championship shot next week in Cork, Ireland. <crowd cheers> And that match begins………NOW!

BEVERLY CAMBRIDGE vs. SHIZURU vs. MAC FLASHER

The three make it to the ring and the bell rings. Shizuru looks for a quick advantage, he grabs Bev and throws her out of the ring to the floor. When he turns around to face Mac, Flasher kicks Shizuru and hits the FLASH DRIVE! Mac covers, Bev dives back into the ring and tries to make the save, but she is a fraction of a second too late!
WINNER in :08 – Mac Flasher

Bev protests the decision, Mac rolls out of the ring and grabs a mic

Bev, I know this wasn’t exactly fair on your end, so I will make you a promise. When I beat Sebastian Davis for the Onslaught Championship next week, you get the first shot. I guarantee that.

Mac extends his hand, Bev, who is still clearly annoyed about losing a title shot so quickly, hesitates for a moment, BRICK~! makes his way to the ring and appeals to Bev, she sighs and shakes Mac’s hand, then raises his arm in victory. The three of them leave the ring together, leaving Shizuru lying in the middle of the ring. Bev is clearly still not happy though.


ALEXANDER DARLING vs. JOHN LAW

“King of the World” draws out Alexander Darling, who peers into the crowd – one giving him a positive reaction – as he jogs to the ring, just as he’s about to turn toward the ring steps, John Law emerges from the crowd and brains him with his nightstick. As Alexander tries to gain his bearings, John stomps away at his head, already opening a cut as Davis Hightower rushes to pull him away. With John arrogantly smirking, Hightower waves OOWF Medical staffers over to a groggy Alexander, who is sitting up and talking, but with Krispy Kreme eyes.

Russ: “This attack by John Law may have jeopardized this match tonight, and maybe the long-term health of Alexander Darling.”
Razz: “Partner, that’s John’s game. He wants to beat, punish and always have the upper hand. If he can get a beatdown in, the win is almost secondary.”

As Hightower is talking to Alexander, John peers in with taunts and a few mocking gestures, getting Alexander on his feet and ready to brawl. Hightower holds him back, explaining the potential dangers of continuing. Alexander shoves Hightower to the side and barrels into John, ramming him into the timekeeper’s table and opening a heavy-handed assault on the former officer. Hightower calls for the bell as the fight is on, very outside of the ring.

Alexander, already wearing a crimson mask, tries to return the favor to John with heated head strikes on the ring post and a knee to the forehead for good measure. Alexander escorts John to the ring and follows him in with a few knee drops and a ground-and-pound assault that has John trying to reach for the ropes. Alexander grabs John’s hand and stomps on it, before doing the same to the other hand.

Russ: “John Law has been a total bastard since entering OOWF, but he’s in the ring with someone who can be an absolute son of a bitch.”

With John trying to roll away, Alexander sees the discarded nightstick and races to the outside to grab it. With John on one knee, Alexander cracks John across the back of the neck. Hightower confiscates the nightstick and admonishes Alexander, but does not disqualify him. This pleases the nearby fans, but not even they can let Alexander know that John is about to chop block his knee, crumbling Alexander to the mats in agony.

What follows is an exhibition in sadism as John works the wounded leg as thoroughly as one can, inside and outside the OOWF rules. A kneebar draws howls from Alexander, who teases tapping out before finally mustering the strength to pull his fingertips to the ropes. John holds the submission to 4 and stomps the knee after the break just for good measure. John then starts to drive the knee into the mat repeatedly before a falling headbutt to the back of the joint. With Alexander barely able to stand, John plasters Alexander with a forearm shiver and then tosses him into the corner. John’s charge leads him straight into a back elbow from Alexander, who hobbles over and starts pounding away at John, opening a cut on his forehead. With Hightower trying to inspect the cut, Alexander keeps working the wound until John has the wherewithal to punch Alexander’s knee. That sends Alexander down in a heap as John tries to collect himself.

Razz: “Both men are cut! Both men are in survival mode! I don’t even think anyone’s tried a cover yet. This is going to be absolutely brutal!”

John stands up and tries to pick Alexander up to his feet, but a sweeping kick with Alexander’s good leg sends John to his backside. Alexander gingerly pops up and runs off the ropes with a shotgun dropkick putting John on his back. Alexander gets up again, screaming to the crowd as he shakes his right leg. Alexander steps back and pelts John with a shining wizard, getting 2 as John tosses Alexander off of him. Alexander, with another shot of adrenaline tries to power John up into the Darling Driver, almost getting him up before John grabs the nearby ropes and forces Alexander to abort the try.

No matter to Alexander, who boots John and limps his way to the opposite ropes. Alexander rushes into a stun gun from John who promptly covers Alex for 2. John tries to lock Alexander in Miranda Rights, only to get his jaw dropped on the top of Alexander’s head. That jawbreaker gives Alexander enough time to run him to the corner and into Sliced Bread No. 2. That gets 2.5 as John drapes his boot over the bottom rope. Alexander tries to get John up into a crucifix powerbomb, but the combination of John’s extra weight and Alexander’s bad knee leads to a buckle. John winds up on top of Alex and drapes his feet across the ropes as Hightower counts off 3.
WINNER (pinfall, 14:23), John Law.

Alexander is apoplectic at Hightower, who is trying to explain that he couldn’t see the ropes. While the two passionately discuss the finish, John hammers Alexander from behind, sending him into Hightower, who tumbles out of the ring. With Alexander woozy, John retrieves his nightstick and returns to the ring. John grabs Alexander and presses the weapon across his throat, turning his face red instantly. Alexander is beginning to fade when “Fly Like an Eagle” hits. John’s attack halts as Jack Bullet rushes to the ring and starts trading blows with the bloodied John. Jack quickly gains the upper-hand, forcing John to seek higher ground as Jack stands tall. Jack helps Alexander to his feet, as John glares at the freshly cleaned up elder statesman of OOWF.

JACK BULLET vs. STACY KIRKLAND - Anything Goes, Comes As You Are, Pinfalls County Anywhere, Hardcore Match

Mike Elevenbee stands in the ring with a general crowd noise behind him.

ME: Our next match this evening is an anything goes, come as you are, pinfalls count anywhere, hardcore match. Introducing first, from Robbinsdale, Minnesota, at a weight of 135 pounds, “Black Magic” Stacy Kirkland.

Kirkland emerges on the entrance stage with a cloud of smoke as “Bad Mama Jama” plays. She marches diligently to the ring, flips up the apron skirt and begins through various weapons into the ring such as two steel chairs, a table, a ladder, a kendo stick, a bag of thumb tacks and a cookie sheet.

Razz: Is Terry Funk on the ring crew now?
Russ: Stacy Kirkland, the former Mama Juana, wanted a definitive final match against “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet. She revealed that she was working for the Quinns and that her marriage to Bullet was a sham. After wearing out a chair on Bullet a few weeks ago, we all thought he would return to alcoholism, but he surprised us all last week by pretending to be drunk against Kirkland and giving her all she could handle.

ME: And her opponent, weighing 215 pounds from Des Moines, Iowa, “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet.

Bullet emerges from the back to “Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent. He’s in his standard trunks and his silver hair slicked back.

Russ: I have to say Bullet looks the best we’ve seen him since the match with Firewoman. It was punching Fire that sent Jack spiraling down in the first place.
Razz: And let’s not forget he attacked Ichiban immediately after and nobody has seen her since. And then he took out Nick Fleming. And Demon Smoke and Christian Carter are on the side of milk cartons missing since last facing Bullet.
Russ: Your point?
Razz: Your American Hero isn’t as pure and virtuous as he lets on. I hope Stacy takes his smug ass out, but I have to admit it won’t be easy.

Referee Angelo Barros calls for the bell as Bullet continues to pace on the outside. Kirkland picks up the chair and bangs it on the mat. She beckons Jack to enter the ring. Jack stops walking, looks at Kirkland and motions for her to come out to the floor. The fans cheer.
Kirkland runs to the ropes and the chair down to Bullet who catches it on instinct. Kirkland vaults over the ropes and down onto the chair Jack is holding over his own head. It makes a metallic clang as the grapplers crash to the floor.

Stacy is up first and pulls Bullet up by the wrist. She tries to whip him into the ring stairs, but he reverses and she takes them in the back. Jack skips forward and leaps for an Eagle Splash. Kirkland moves out of the way and Bullet smashes into the stairs. Kirkland grabs him from behind and throws him back with a bridging German suplex. Barros quickly takes the floor and counts to two, Kirkland can’t hold the bridge.

Russ: The match is off to a fast start and Kirkland is holding her own against Bullet.
Razz: Did you see how he threw her into the stairs?
Russ: That could have been inadvertently.

As they rise, Kirkland grabs Jack by the head and tries for a pendulum DDT, but Jack blocks and turns it into a side slam. He pulls Kirkland up as he stands and suplexes her, onto the steel chair.
Razz: I’m sure that was inadvertent too.

Bullet pulls Kirkland up and rolls her into the ring. Bullet follows, but Stacy makes her feet and grabs the kendo stick. Bullet grabs the cookie sheet and uses it to block the cane shot. Stacy rains down the blows until the cookie sheet is pretty much bent in half. Bullet throws the cookie sheet at her. She’s temporarily distracted. This allows Bullet to charge and drive her into the near corner. Kirkland drops the kendo stick.

Jack sets her on the second rope and climbs. Stacy pushes him off. He land back first on the mat. She quickly stands and comes off with a leg drop to Bullet. Stacy gets up and sets up the table in the corner. As she does that, Jack comes up behind her and scores his own German suplex with bridge. It gets a two count.

As they come up, Bullet tries to whip Stacy to the far corner, but she reverses and sends him toward the table. Bullet pulls up from hitting it. Kirkland tries to dropkick him into the propped up table, but Bullet side steps her. Jack picks up the ladder. Stacy stands laughing. She dares him to hit her with it. Bullet tosses the ladder at her, which she catches. He drops low to sweep the legs. Kirkland falls backwards and the ladder lands on top of her.

Razz: Okay, so he’s not hitting women with weapons, but he’s causing weapons to hit women. Is that…
Russ: It’s a strategy he wants to employ and it’s giving him the upper hand at the moment.
Jack opens the second chair and sets it up. Kirkland is back on her feet and walks into a drop toehold into the chair. The fans cheer.
Razz: Oh yeah, the chair just happened to be there, even though he put it there.
Russ: Well, maybe Jack isn’t as strong about his no hitting women policy anymore or at least on this particular woman.

Bullet pulls the table out of the corner and sets it up on its legs. Kirkland attacks Bullet from behind. She whips him into the far corner. She grabs the steel chair and rams it into Bullet’s gut. She then brings it down across his back. Bullet is doubled over. She throws the chair down and gives Jack a DDT on the chair. She covers for one…two…Bullet rolls a shoulder up.
Kirkland stands and empties out the bag of thumbtacks onto the setup table.

Russ: What does Stacy Kirkland have in mind here.
Razz: Whatever it is, it’s not going to be good for the Silver Eagle, I can tell you that.

Kirkland goes back over to Bullet and pulls him to his feet. She hooks him around the chest and drives him back down into the chair with the Falling Tower uranage. Stacy then picks up the ladder and sets it up near the table.

Russ: I don’t think this is going to end well for Jack.
Razz: I don’t think this is going to end well for anybody.

Kirkland pulls Bullet up and puts him between her legs. He back drops out and she lands on the mat. She’s unfazed and kips up…right into a discuss punch. Kirkland is out cold. The fans scream in approval.

Razz: I guess the bloom is off the not hitting women rose.

Bullet picks up Stacy and ascends the ladder with her head between his knees. Jack skips off the ladder and delivers a tombstone piledriver through the table covered with thumbtacks. The table breaks. Jack hooks the leg, because that’s what he does, in the middle of the broken table and Barros counts one…two…three.

ME: Your winner at 9:19, “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet

Barros raises Jack’s hand in victory. He stares down at the still out Kirkland, shrugs his shoulders and heads for the back.

Russ: It looks like Jack Bullet is starting a new era of his career. The old gentleman might be gone and what has replaced him.
Razz: All I can say is the Saints of Sinners better have eyes in the backs of their heads, because Jack Bullet is coming for his world title, his soul and whatever collateral damage he can wrought.

ALEXIS DARLING vs. SEBASTIAN DAVIS – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

"Life Is Beatiful" fires up and the Ice Queen herself, Alexis Darling, makes her way to the ring to a mixed reaction. Newer fans cheer, but the veterans know that Alexis is never quite what she seems to be. She gets into the ring, barely tolerating the accolades, haughty as ever. She poses on top of a ring post, and then slides down, sitting in a lotus position to await the champ. "Glory" plays and Sebastian Davis enters, proudly displaying the Onslaught Championship over his shoulder. He struts SLOWLY down the ramp and takes his sweet time going around the four side before coming back to where he started, and then gives the belt to the referee for the proprieties. The referee implores Davis to get in the ring. If Alexis notices it, she doesn't let on. Finally, Davis decides to get in the ring to complete the ceremonies, so Alexis gets to her feet and saunters over, bored with it already. Belt shown around, and so Hightower tells them to get ready and calls for the bell.

The bell rings, and Alexis charges. Hightower dodges and drops to the mat and...rolls out of the ring?....He wanders over to the Lithuanian announce table.

SD: Labas, kaip laikaisi?
Skelbėjas: Jūs kalbate lietuviškai?
SD: Vilniuje vykdiau studijų užsienyje programą!

They go on and on like that and eventually Davis notices that Hightower is getting ready to count him out.

SD: Aš turiu eiti. Gero vakaro.

Davis rolls back in the ring, just as the count is going to expire, and then dodge a clothesline from Alexis and rolls out the other side. Alexis shows the first signs of exasperation. Davis saunters... like literally... over to the Bosnian announce table.

SD: Zdravo, kako ste večeras?
Najavljivač: Možete govoriti i bosanski i litvanski?
SD: Zar ne svi?

Davis starts the count. Alexis rolls outside and charges. Davis runs away, but not a real run, more of a taunting run. He hunkers down behind the Slovak announce table.

Hlásateľ: Nehovor mi, že hovoríš aj po slovensky?
SD: Nerád vám to hovorím, ale Bosniak povedal, že ste hrozný hlásateľ.
Hlásateľ: On to urobil?

The Slovakian announcer leaps over his table, getting temporarily in between Davis and Alexis. The three push and shove until they are past each other. The Slovakian announcer heads straight for the Bosnian table. Hightower is distracted by this, and Davis hunkers down behind the Lithuanian.

Skelbėjas: Pažvelkite į tuos du, brawling kaip gyvūnai!
SD: Taip. Slovakų sakė, kad lietuviškos moterys yra šliaužčiausios planetoje, tavo žmona yra baisiausia iš visų.
Skelbėjas: Ką? Aš jį nužudysiu!

The Lithuanian announcer leaps into action, rushing the Bosnia and Slovak as they fight. He gets in the way of Alexis who is trying to get to Davis. Davis rolls into the ring and back out, and Alexis tries to pursue, but the Pier Six brawl that has erupted between the Eastern Europeans keeps getting in the way. Hightower tries to keep track of the count but with all the distractions, he just keeps starting over, as Davis rolls in and out of the ring. Alexis protests to Hightower, but he shrugs as there's not much else he can do. Eventually the buzzer sounds!

After the announcement, security floods the floor around the ring to stop World War III. Davis backs up the ramp with his belt, laughing, while Alexis seethes and glares at him, amid all the chaos.

CLAN QUINN vs. THE FRENEMIES – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

To make sure there are no backstage attacks, both teams are escorted to the ring by a phalanx of security. Clan Quinn is out first and the crowd boos the ever loving shit out of them. Fire and Moose mock the crowd and nearly get into a fight with numerous fans before security physically puts them into the ring. The Frenemies are out next, security has less trouble with them, though Moose and Fire are absolutely chomping at the bit to get at them. The referee orders Fire and Bridget out of the ring then calls for the bell.

Moose and Kylie lock up, Moose takes her to the mat with a side headlock, Kylie immediately fights to her feet and shoves Moose to the ropes, on the rebound she connects with a dropkick to Moose’s jaw that sends him to the mat, Moose pops back to his feet and Kylie tries to clothesline him over the top rope to the floor, but Moose lands on the apron. Kylie turns around and Moose grabs her head and guillotines her on the top rope.

Kylie’s head snaps back and she falls into the middle of the ring, Moose grabs her by the leg and drags her to the Clan Quinn corner and tags in Fire. Moose holds Kylie down and Fire springs over the top rope and drops a knee on her chest. Fire covers, but Kylie kicks out at two. As Kylie gets to one knee, Fire tags in Moose, Fire hits the ropes and KILLS Kylie with a SHINING WIZARD to the face, as soon as she hits that, Moose nails a GRONK SPECIAL to the back of her head! Kylie falls face first to the mat, she may be out!! Moose covers, but Bridget runs in and makes the save before the three count.

The match continues at a frenetic pace, with Moose and Fire making frequent tags, keeping Kylie on their side of the ring while beating the absolute hell out of her.

Russ: The Quinns are working like a well-oiled machine tonight
Razz: They’re working over Kylie like they’re Anderson’s or something! Kylie better make the tag soon, or they won’t be leaving the ring as tag champions

Kylie finally does make the hot tag to Bridget and Bridget comes in like a house of fire. She takes down Moose and Fire, hammering them both with punches and kicks. The Frenemies take over now, keeping Fire isolated from Moose. Kylie hits a top rope sit out powerbomb on Fire but Moose makes the save. The ring announcer lets us know that there is only five minutes remaining in the match. Fire somehow makes the tag to Moose and he comes in and grabs Bridget, but Bridget rolls him into a small package for a two and nine tenths count. Bridget spins to her feet, as does Moose, and Moose connects with a spinning fist to the side of Bridget’s head that staggers her. Moose hits the ropes and nails a BUISAKU KNEE to the face, then tags Fire! Fire goes to the top rope for the BEST FIRESAULT EVER, but Kylie races around the ring and knocks Fire’s foot off the top rope! Fire hits the top of the turnbuckle HARD, then falls into the ring, dazed.

Moose dives between the ropes and takes out Kylie and they fight on the floor. Inside the ring both Bridget and Fire are down, they drag themselves to the middle of the ring and get to their knees and trade VICIOUS punches to the face. The crowd is absolutely ROARING at this point, but their cheers soon turn to disappointment as the bell rings. This one is over!
WINNER – 60:00 time limit draw

The crowd boos the shit out of this, and it doesn’t stop either team from continuing the fight. Finally security comes back to the ring and separates the two teams and drags them to the back while the fans litter the ring with debris.

ZED vs. MATT FOLZ – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

"Shoot to Thrill" plays and OOWF Intercontinental Champion Zed comes to the ring accompanied by BRICK~!. Zed warms up as "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" plays OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Matt Folz out. Instead of getting in the ring however, he turns and grabs a microphone.

Brick~! you may have some people fooled but I don't like you and I damn sure don't trust you. So just to make sure this remains a fair one on one contest, I've asked someone with a valid manager's license to come out and be my advocate. Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the only other 3 time Grand Slam Champion in the history of this company Moosehead Jack.

The crowd boos as Matt finally gets in the ring and Mike Elevenbee starts the introductions.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Main Event of Mayhem and it is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Introducing first in the corner to my left, he is a former OOWF World Heavyweight Champion and the Current OOWF Intercontinental Champion. Tonight looking to climb back to the top of this company. From North Carolina, 6'0 and 195 pounds ZED!!! And now in the corner to my right, the reigning and defending OOWF Heavyweight Champion. From Green Bay Wisconsin, 6'5, 225.... MATT FOLZ!!!

The bell rings and Matt extends his hand. Zed looks at him suspiciously but shakes it with no trouble. The two lock up and Matt drives Zed into the corner. The referee calls for a clean break and Matt surprisingly agrees. The two get back in the center of the ring and for the next few minutes put on a great display of chain wrestling, completely clean and getting the crowd on their feet. Matt with a double leg takedown and then he grabs Zed's legs and bridges for 2. Zed reverses to a 2 count of his own, Matt reverses that for another 2 count. Both men get back to their feet and Matt smirks a bit and nods at Zed. Another tie up and Matt rocks the IC champ with a European Uppercut. Matt with an Irish Whip and then subtly positions himself so that the referee can't see Moose tripping Zed as he bounces off the ropes. Zed gets right back to his feet and turns to glare at Moose, but that's just what the World Champion wants as he nails a distracted Zed with a hard knee to the spine. Matt starts choking Zed with the ropes as the referee begins a 5 count. Matt releases just before 5. As the referee is backing Matt to the center of the ring, Moose grabs Zed and drags him over to the corner. Moose grabs Zed's leg and slams his knee hard twice into the ring post.

Matt's like a shark smelling blood as he immediately goes to work on the injured knee for the next few minutes of the match. Matt with a half crab that forces Zed to grab the ropes. Matt with a kneebreaker and then a figure four. As BRICK~! gets on the apron to try and encourage Zed, Matt points at him and tells the referee to deal with him. While the referee's back is turned Matt reaches out and grabs Moose's hands for more leverage. Zed tries to reverse it but can't due to Moose's illegal assist. The referee finally turns around and sees this and kicks Matt and Moose's hands apart. Zed reverses the hold and Matt reaches out for the ropes. Matt gets to his feet first and nails Zed with a forearm. Matt tries a German Suplex but Zed kicks his leg back and nails the Champion with a low blow. Zed is limping but manages to take Matt over with a snap suplex and follows with an elbow drop. Zed whips Matt into the corner and nails him with hard chops that almost sound like gunshots. Matt thumbs Zed in the eye and tries an Irish Whip, Zed reverses and the referee gets caught between Matt and the turnbuckle. Zed hits the GTH and covers but unfortunately there's no ref. Zed slaps the mat 3 times but that's not official.

Russ: Tough break for Zed. He had Matt for about a 10 count there.

Moose gets in the ring and tries a cheap shot but Zed ducks and back drops Moose over the top rope. Zed sets Matt up for another GTH but out of seemingly nowhere Firewoman slams Matt's OOWF Championship into the back of Zed's head. Zed goes down like he's been shot, Fire helps Matt to his feet and then slides out of the ring. Matt picks up Zed and hits an unnecessary Angle Slam as the referee starts coming to. Matt covers 1...2...3.

Winner (Pinfall, 21:13) and STILL OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Matt Folz.

As medical personnel comes down to check on Zed, we see a replay of Fire coming down to the ring and grabbing Matt's Championship from the timekeeper. We cut back live and see Matt grabbing a microphone.

Matt: Hey BRICK~!, before you go I just wanted to respond to what you said last week. You were right about almost everything you said. Do we have pride? Yes. Envy? Sometimes. Lust? Of course. I lust for my wife and Fire well...everyone knows her history. Drunken Debauchery? I personally don't drink but that does sometimes fit my two colleagues sure. Violence and not caring who we hurt? You damn right. But you're wrong about one thing. We may have hate and sin in our hearts, but we sure as fuck don't hide in the dark and shadows. We don't hide from anyone, if anyone wants a shot at one of us then roll the dice and take your chances. I just beat your boy there twice in 4 weeks. So if the God Complex wants to make sure the Saints of Sinners exist no more... (Laughs) good luck. Hell you can even go find that old drunk Jack Bullet and see if he wants to help you. Just do me one favor, go to Nayoga Japan, find whatever rehab facility Junichiro Muyo is hiding in and ask him how well that worked out for him.

Matt throws the microphone down and holds his Championship aloft to taunt the crowd. The Saints celebrate in the middle of the ring.

Russ: Thank you everyone for joining us for yet another great OOWF event. For Razz, I'm Russ, have a great night everyone.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out OOWF Storming the Beach 2!, May 26, Live! From Le Havre, France. And don’t forget to catch next week’s MidWeek Mayhem, April 3rd, Live! from Cork, Ireland