[Jack Quinn]

MidWeek Mayhem (#910)
Live! From Belfast, Northern Ireland
April 10, 2019

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Beverly Cambridge vs. Matt Folz

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
The Frenemies vs. Clan Quinn

Banned From Everywhere vs. The Darlings
Jack Bullet vs. John Law
Zed & Mac Flasher vs. Stacy Kirkland & Sebastian Davis
Junior Winchester vs. Shizuru


Card subject to Moose and Fire causing more "troubles"

[Sportsguy]

We fade in and see a boisterous victory party starting in the Destroyitarium. Matt comes up to Clan Quinn.

Matt: Congratulations.

Fire: ...

Moose: ...

Matt: Oh come on, you're not pissed about what I said last night are you? I didn't mean it, was just trying to fire you two up. Besides, I owed you two one.

Moose: How so?

Matt: For two people who like to know everything, not one of you thought to inform your damn partner that we were running a long con on Bullet?

Fire: That's a fair point.

Matt: To make peace, I'll buy the next round.

Moose: NOW you're talking.

Matt: Fire, help me out? I wanted to talk to you privately about something real quick.

Matt and Fire walk over to the bar and order a Coke for Matt and double whiskey shots for everyone else.

Fire: Sorry we didn't tell you what we were doing with Mama Juana.

Matt: Eh, don't worry about it. And if I could offer my unsolicited opinion: You, Me, Moose and Stank can handle anything the rest of this company wants to throw at us. But at the same time it might not be a bad idea to keep Stacy as an ally. You and I have both been in the ring with her, we know she has the goods.

Fire: Yeah maybe. So what did you want to talk about?

Matt: I trust you completely, so I'm turning Jaime's training completely over to you. I'll certainly help when needed and of course I want to always be kept in the loop, but I have no problem admitting that fight clubs are an area where you're the expert. So she's ready when you and only you say she's ready, I trust your word on it.

Fire: You sure?

Matt: I am.

Fire: Thank you.

Matt and Fire walk back to the group and distribute the drinks.

Matt: Can I have everyone's attention? Before everyone except me gets exceptionally drunk.... (Everyone laughs)... I propose a toast. To Clan Quinn, an utterly dominant tag team that has a shot to just not break but SHATTER Stan and I's record as longest running Tag Team Champions in the history of this company.

Moose: Thank you Matt. And a toast to Stan Fulton, watching this in Minnesota with a big smile on his face.

Matt: here here.

Stank: And to Matt Folz, one of the greatest World Champions in the history of this company.

Matt: You're too kind, thanks. Not that I deny what you're saying.... (Smirks)

Fire: To the Saints.

Everyone: TO THE SAINTS!

Everyone clinks glasses as we....FADE.

[Leo]

Sexy Female Journalist 3.14 finds "Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet at OOWF medical with his head bandaged.

Pi: Jack Bullet you were handcuffed and beaten with a nightstick by John Law in your match on Mayhem, resulting in a disqualification win. Your comments.

JB: Hot damn! Glad he did!

Pi: That sounds like an odd response.

JB: Not at all. You forget that I am a man of action. I want the talent of the OOWF to shut up and put up. I talked trash on John Law. I sucker punched him in the hallway. He should beat my ass back and he did. He did what I wanted him to do. I'm proud of him. Now, if he thinks that's going to get me to slack off, he doesn't know Jack!

Bullet jumps off the bed and starts walking. Pi encourages the camera to follow and she trails after him. After traversing a few hallways, they find John Law getting ready to leave the arena in his street clothes with his bags in his hands.

JB: John Law, you son of a bitch!

Law turns and is met with a spear by the flying Jack Bullet. Law is driven backwards into some audio and video equipment in cases on wheels. It makes a thunk sound. Jack stands and pulls Law onto his shoulder. He flips him over and to the floor with an Action Drop. He stands over Law and looks down.

JB: I'll see you next Wednesday, but I really, really hope it's before that. I'm not a hard man to find.

Bullet walks off, but Law springs up and drives a flying shoulder tackle into Bullet's lower back. He picks Jack up by the back of the head and throws him into a near wall. Law stares down at Jack.

JL: I'm not hard to find either. Wednesday is a long time off. I hope you make it.

Law then walks off. The camera pans down to find Jack Bullet with a grin on his face. FADE.

[Fire-Babe]

The party is still happening in the Destroyitarium. Fire has her half of the Tag Team belts over her shoulder. Moose is standing back just observing the scene for a moment, looking particularly content, and then realizes he's sitting next to Lucky, who is drinking a martini.

MHJ: Hey, way to celebrate. Classy.

L: We all have our things.

MHJ: We do....and while whiskey is definitely my favorite, it's nothing like that.

Moose gestures over to where Fire, Stank, and others are laughing and joking.

MHJ: Seeing her with that belt that we won TOGETHER, next to her husband...happy....Yeah....that's better than whiskey.

Moose takes a shot of whiskey anyway.

L: Mm-hmmm....

MHJ: *throwing his arm somewhat drunkenly around Lucky* C'mon, Gloomy Gutierrez...look at that scene....what could possibly be wrong?

Lucky shrugs Moose's arm off, and looks over just as Fire takes the belt off one shoulder.  She looks at it for a longish moment, smiles, and then shifts it to the other.

L: You know, you claim to know her so well...did you see that?

MHJ: She was adoring her new belt.

L: No....the eyes, Moose.

MHJ: What about them?

L: More like behind the eyes. That's where the real Lisa Marie Quinn is, and if you ever REALLY looked there, you'd see.... there's a lot going on, none of it good, and fleeting moments of happiness can't hide that, if you really look.

MHJ: You're crazy.

L: Moose, you forget, I've seen this all before. The Tag Team win, the Grand Slam, the celebration with people she loves, and scoff as you might, she DID love him.

MHJ: Past tense.

L: Maybe....even then, she went from that very dizzying ecstatic height to throwing herself off the top of a cage and into an insane asylum in a surprisingly short period of time.

MHJ: It wasn't that short.

Moose looks and studies Fire for a moment, as her smiles fades and returns a few times. She looks over at him, doesn't register any emotion, and then back to the group she's celebrating with. Finally, she and Stank walk arm and arm out of the Destroyitarium.

MHJ: So what...this time is different.

L: Why? Because Stank would never sign that form? Because you would never push for it? Wake me up when this rerun is over.

MHJ: That was different because--

L: Because you were being paid.

Moose glares at Lucky, who doesn't back down, and things look like they're going to get dangerous.

L: You can slice me up with your secret scalpel all you want, but that's not going to change the way things were then, or the way they are now.

MHJ: *glare*

L: My job...my JOB is to keep that woman over there safe and out of a cage. I have failed twice in that in a big way, and there is no way I'm failing again.

Lucky downs his martini, slams the glass on the counter, and storms out.

[Leo]

Sexy Female Journalist 3.14 continues through the halls of the arena. She finds Stacy Kirkland with referee Junior Hale at the craft services table. She is individually placing her finger on a plate of turkey and cheese pinwheel wraps and having Hale count the pin.

SK: I'm up to 717 DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Title defenses. I'm the most successful champion ever in OOWF history.

Pi: Stacy, next week you will be teaming with Sebastian Davis to face Mac Flasher, who you have faced before, and Zed, who you took the Heavy Metal Title from earlier this week.

SK: Sebastian Davis needs to keep his end up, but he won't have to worry about me. Flasher and Zed are weak, because they let BRICK~! make them that way. The God Complex is seemingly an inferiority complex. You have to throw everything at me if you want to win and neither have shown they are willing to.

Pi: And what of your crusade to join the Saints of Sinners.

SK: As I've said before. I don't need them, but they need and deserve me. The Saints are an old lion ripe to be picked off. They need new blood. They need the baddest bitch and sexiest bitch ever in OOWF history on their side. I offer my services as a kindness, which should never be mistaken for weakness.

Pi: Are you four, five seconds from wildin'?

SK: Always...Junior, lets go see how many T-shirts I can pin before they box up all the merchandise.

Kirkland walks off with Junior in tow.

[snelson66]

FADE IN to a modest home in Duluth, MN. The fireplace is going, because it's still in the 30s and there's snow on the ground. The view from the camera is as if we see the room from the perspective of the occupant, who's sitting in a chair with his rather large feet up. A bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale is in his hand, the remote in the other. On the TV playing through the OOWF App for FireTV are the latest promos. The occupant sees the celebration toasts from the Saints of Sinners and raises his bottle of ale when Stan Fulton's name is spoken.

As we begin to FADE, the occupant clicks the remote a few times, gets a YouTube-compliance app up on screen and plays this as the fade completes:

[Road Warrior Shark]

~~~ Sebastian Davis is WALKING~~!!! down The Hallway of Random Encounters(c) inside the OOWF Arena in Belfast. (cheap pop) He turns a corner and is approached by an Invisible Ninja Camerman (INC) and Sexy Female Journalist #44, mic in hand. ~~~

SFJ #44: Sebastian, you retained the Onslaught Title in another questionable decision this past MidWeek Mayhem.

Davis: Stop right there. There was nothing questionable about my match this past week. I played Mac Flasher like a fiddle.

SFJ #44: So you got intentionally disqualified? That seems awful risky, given the specialized Onslaught Rules.

Davis: (sighs) I know this might be more than your pretty little head can handle, but I pushed the boundaries Exactly enough to get the Double DQ. I knew if I worked Mac just right, he'd blow his top. It wasn't hard. He's a decent, but predictable, wrestler. He's not good enough to beat me. We saw that Yet Again on Wednesday.

SFJ #44: Well, you get into the ring with him again this coming Wednesday, pairing with "Black Magic" Stacy Kirkland against Flasher and the Intercontinental Champion, Zed.

Davis: Oh I know. I've heard Miss Cleo or mama Juana or whatever alias she was using before talk. Sweetheart, you're delusional. It isn't me that has to keep up. I'm about to blow away the Onslaught Title Record in short order - 123 days as of right now thank you very much. What have you done the past 123 days? You..... played mind games with a drunk old man and some kid? I tell you what. You follow My lead, shut your mouth, pay attention, and you'll get to go to the pay window again this week.

And Mac, you should take some lessons from your boy Zed there. Setting the record for the longest Intercontinental Title Run is a nice accomplishment. Of course, I've never gotten a shot at that title, or your run would have ended long ago.

SFJ #44: You sound pretty sure of yourself.

Davis: Have you met me? I've done nothing these past few months but call my shot and then deliver over and over. And I'm telling the God Complex, Belfast Northern Ireland, (cheap pop) and the entire OOWF: There's a Hurricane heading your way. Take cover. Better yet, get out of the path of the storm. I'm about to lay waste to everything, and Everyone I see. Guar. An. Teed.

~~~ Davis knocks the mic out of her hands and storms away. ~~~

[Fire-Babe]

Pro Wrestling Ulster is LIVE~! at the Malone Rugby Club in Belfast, Ireland. The crowd is enjoying Mixed tag team match, with Chris Renfrew, PWU All Ulster Champion and Debbie Kietel facing Michael May and Fierce Females Internet Champion Ayesha Raymond. Suddenly the lights go dark, and Arma-goddamn-muther-fuckin-geddon starts playing. Lights come up and OOWF's own Firewoman and Moosehead Jack, Clann Quinn, appear at the top of the ramp, wearing their OOWF tag team belts. They do their poses and stuff, which is a little less exciting without the high tech flamepots and whatnot, but the crowd still pops big for them. They come to the ring, and instantly, Kietel and May make themselves scarce, while the two champions stand their ground. The crowd cheers; I mean, Fire and Moose ARE Irish-Americans, and bigtime wrestling stars too. They nod around a bit, shake hands with the Kietel and May, and everyone gets a microphone.

MHJ: Well, well, well. Here we are. And I must say, it's good to be here, back on the ol' sod, our pa would say, innit Fire?

FW: Indeed it is, indeed it is, Jackie. But....you know, I got questions.

MHJ: Do you, sis?

FW: I do, I do....

MHJ: Well, I'm sure these fine Irish folks here in the ring can answer for you.

Kietel and Renfrew nod and smile and state that they'll be happy to help.

FW: Well, I don't know about that, now Jackie.

MHJ: Well, why not Fire?

FW: Well, you see....these are not.... REAL Irish.

The crowd begins to see where this is going to go, and begins to boo.

MHJ: *faking incredulousness* What do you mean? They're all covered with Guinness and whiskey?

Cheap pop for the Guinness comment.

FW: Yeah, but really....just take a big whiff of the air.

Moose makes a big pantomime show of doing just that, and pretends to gag.

MHJ: What on EARTH is that SMELL?

More boos.

FW: That, my dear brother...THAT is ... BUSHMILL'S!

Moose feigns having chest pains.

MHJ: Oh my god...who in their right mind would drink that SWILL?

Many more boos.

FW: Well, see, Moose....

Fire begins to smile and walk slowly around the ring, really feeling and selling the moment.

FW: See. When you have your head so incredibly and irretrievably shoved up an Englishman's ass--

Many many more boos.

FW: --You can't even tell that you're drinkin' the bloody sassanach's piss.

Lots more boos. No one even stops to wonder if that's anatomically possible. Well, except:

Kietel: That's not even anatomically possible.

Moose also ramps up the heelishness.

MHJ: No, really?....well, you're just as sharp as a beach ball, aren't you?

A ridiculous amount of boos.

MHJ: Let's face it....all you millies and scobes are just wasting our time, masquerading as true Irishmen--

FW: People.

Renfrew: And how's that again? Didn't you come to OUR show, uninvited?

Cheers from the hometown crowd.

FW: Well, now that's just to have a look around before you get Brexited into third world country status.

Back to boos.

FW: I mean, you COULD join with the majority, the 26 counties that really DESERVE the name "Irish"--

The boos make the camera shake.

FW: --But I doubt if they'd have ya.

MHJ: And who could blame them....buncha cowards and sneaks....

The boos threaten to blow the top off the roof.

FW: Hidin' behind Britain's skirts in hopes they'll toss you a bone....Have a seat because it'll be a good long--

Firewoman can't finish her sentence because Kietel attacks. That gives Moose and Renfrew the go-ahead, and pretty soon we have a real donnybrook, "Troubles"-style. Security comes down but really no one wants to get involved in this. Firewoman kicks Kietel back and goes to Moose's aid. She pulls Renfrew off Moose and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER~! and Moose pulls Renfrew into the Ji-Endo. As Renfrew taps, Fire trips Kietel as she comes in to break it up and gets her locked in the Firetamer~! Both Renfrew and Kietel tap vigorously as the crowd litters the ring with trash. Finally, Moose and Fire feel that they've proven their point and release their holds. They head up the ramp, with a security escort and out of the building, to record setting boos.

[Jack Quinn]

<Moose and Fire are shoved, roughly, out of the arena, but that doesn't end their protest. Moose and Fire begin LOUDLY singing the Irish national anthem:

Sinne Fianna Fáil,
(Soldiers are we,)

atá faoi gheall ag Éirinn,
(whose lives are pledged to Ireland)

Buíon dár slua
(Some have come)

thar toinn do ráinig chugainn,
(from a land beyond the wave,)

Faoi mhóid bheith saor
(Sworn to be free,)

Seantír ár sinsear feasta,
(no more our ancient sireland,)

Ní fhágfar faoin tíorán ná faoin tráill.
(Shall shelter the despot or the slave.)

Anocht a théam sa bhearna bhaoil,
(Tonight we man the "bearna bhaoil")

Le gean ar Ghaeil, chun báis nó saoil
(In Erin's cause, come woe or weal,)

Le gunna-scréach faoi lámhach na bpiléar,
('Mid cannons' roar and rifles' peal,)

Seo libh canaig' amhrán na bhFiann.
(We'll chant a soldier's song.)

<a few hardcore wrestling fans, and general troublemakers join in with them, but the vast majority are NOT a bit happy to hear this. Words are exchanged, then shoves, then punches, and now we have a riot. Police are quickly on the scene........

...... we cut to Vic reading the rest of the report>

Vic: Where Mr. Quinn and Mrs. Mann were apprehended and taken to the local police station, where they were charged with Inciting a Riot, Domestic Terrorism and Animal cruelty <Vic stops and stares at Moose and Fire> Animal cruelty?

MHJ: I might have.........punched a horse

Vic: You.........I just........WELL?

MHJ: What?

Vic: What do you have to say for yourselves?

FW: It wasn't OUR fault!

Vic: HOW was this not YOUR fault?

FW: THEY refuse to come back to Ireland

Vic: <staring at Fire for a moment then slumping heavily in his chair> Another International incident. Do you have any idea how many this is?

MHJ: <while he and Fire count on their fingers> Well......there was Indonesia......

FW: And Turkey

MHJ: And that International Arms deal in......was that Iran?

FW: Somewhere over there, oh and Japan

MHJ: Well, that's not as much the government........

Vic: ENOUGH! There is absolutely no reason for me not to fire both of you right now.....

<as if on cue, Lucky walks into the room like he was Radar, carrying some paperwork>

LG: Actually there is, if you look at both their contracts <sets them on the desk in front of Vic> you will see Clause Q, Section Nine, paragraph four, which states......

Vic: <Vic grabs the contracts and reads> Yes, yes, I can read "the signee of said contract shall exempt from further punishment by the OOWF, OOWF officials, or any judicial or legislative board associated with the OOWF in name, business or otherwise. Failure to comply will result in full release from said contract, plus a monetary penalty equal to ten times the amount of signed contract, to be paid in full at the point of release." Yeah, I see it. This is still going to be a shit storm

LG: I have already talked to prosecutor and they are willing to drop all charges as long as Moose and Fire are confined to quarters until Mayhem, and are out of the country by 12:01am Thursday.

Vic: And when can they come back?

LG: They can't

FW: Who would want to?

MHJ: Right? Fucking BUSHMILLS! Uncultured swine!

<Lucky gives them a look and they both stop talking>

Vic: Lucky, I don't envy your job. In fact, I would rather shave a rabid badgers ass in a dark closet than do what you do, but I have to look after the talent here, and after what these two pulled, we are going to have to have some extra tight security at this show, and it is coming out of THEIR pockets

<Moose and Fire start to protest but Lucky shoots them a look and again, they stop talking>

LG: That's fine. I'll make travel arrangements to make sure they are gone the second their match is over.

Vic: Fine. I don't want to hear a peep from either of you again this week

Fire & Moose: peep

Vic: GET THE FUCK OUT! NOW!

<Fire and Moose leave the office and bump knuckles and laugh the whole way. Lucky grabs the contracts and follows them while Vic grabs a bottle of Bushmills from his desk and takes a long drink, then looks at the bottle>

Vic: He has a point.....

<fade>

[Road Warrior Shark]

~~~ We fade into the OOWF Interview Banner. There we see Sebastian Davis standing alone, Onslaught Title on his shoulder. ~~~

Davis: 126 Days now, with no end in sight. (pats the belt and smiles)

Oh, Matt Folz, don't think for a second I've forgotten about you, asshole. You know, it must be a bitch to wake up and look in the mirror every morning, knowing you have Alexis fucking Darling to thank for that belt around your skinny-ass waist.

~~~ The INC zooms in on the Onslaught Title belt as we fade ~~~

[Jack Quinn]

MidWeek Mayhem (#910)
Live! From Belfast, Northern Ireland
April 10, 2019

JUNIOR WINCHESTER vs. SHIZURU

Shizuru enters the ring to "Party Boy Song," since he is embracing his Funaki-esque person based on Dr. Dre's advice. He enjoyed the welcome of the crowd who, like wrestling fans everywhere, have short memories. He turns to away newcomer Junior Winchester, accompanied by his cousin, Betty Sue. He enters and looks amused as Shizuru bows to him. He awkwardly bows back and then extends his hand, which Shizuru shakes. BIG mistake as he pulls Shizuru in for an armdrag and referee Angelos Barros decided to just call for the bell now. Winchester whips Shizuru around the ring, and wristlocking and armlocking in between. Winchester tries to armdrag Shizuru over again, but Shizuru catches him and then maneuvers around into a quick suplex! Shizuru goes for a quick pin, hoping to stun the new guy, but Winchester kicks out easily. Shizuru backs off and sizes him up for the Dream Maker. He kicks, but Winchester grabs his leg. Shizuru protests profusely and Winchester doesn't care. He positions him up and over in with an Exloder Suplex! He stops a mudhole into Shizuru before backing off to catch his breath. Betty Sue gets Shizuru's attention and he crawls toward her until he's in the corner and pulls himself up by the turnbuckles. Winchester meanwhile bides his time....and waits..... And as Shizuru recovers and turns back to face him, Winchester catches him with the SHITKICKER~! Shizuru goes down in a heap, and Winchester makes the academic pin. One, two, three!
WINNER in 7:54 – Junior Winchester

THE DARLINGS vs. BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE

The feed joins both Banned From Everywhere and The Darlings in the ring. Awesome Bill from Dawsonville and Justin Sane are playing to the fans in Belfast; while Alexander and Alexis are taking in some adoration, albeit with understated mannerisms as Mel Creech signals for the bell. Alexis tries her hand at Awesome Bill, only for the Georgian to pick her up and politely sit her on the top turnbuckle. Alexis, while annoyed, forces a smile at Awesome Bill, who curtsies because he is a classy gentleman when he wants to be. Justin tags himself in and gets greeted with a forearm from Alexis as Awesome Bill grabs the downed Justin, drags him to the corner and tags himself back in.

Alexis waits Awesome Bill’s return and offers a collar-and-elbow tie-up with Awesome Bill shoving Alexis back with ease. Alexis tries again with Awesome Bill sending her back even further. Alexis, undeterred tries again with Awesome Bill sending her all the way to her team’s corner. Alexander tags in and ties up with Awesome Bill, working his way around the big man and cinching in a hammerlock while trying to get Awesome Bill down to his knees. Awesome Bill reverses with a hip toss and a rebel yell as Alexander holds his back after the impact. Justin tags himself in again and charges Alexander, only to eat a straight right hand. Alexander goes for a cover and gets 2 as Awesome Bill breaks up the pin, drags Justin to the corner and tags in again.

Russ: “Both times that Justin Sane has tried to make an impact on this match, he’s been sent to the mat instantly.”
Razz: “If he’s not careful, he’ll cost Banned From Everywhere this important win.”
Russ: “That’s an evergreen tidbit of analysis.”

Awesome Bill and Alexander trade blows in the center of the ring with Awesome Bill landing the heavier strikes, but Alexander scoring more connections. Finally a wind-up left hand from Awesome Bill puts Alexander on his backside. That left hand was enough to daze Alexander as he’s taken to the Banned From Everywhere corner, where Justin is tagged in and pulls off some slick double-team offense with Awesome Bill, including a modified Banned From Space splash that gets 1. With Alexander still laying on the mat, Awesome Bill grabs Justin and hits a Go Dawgs, using Justin as the bulldoggee across Alexander’s sternum. That gets 2 as Justin is a touch too groggy to hook the leg.

With Alexis pounding the top turnbuckle to get some fans in Belfast to urge Alexander to his feet, Justin tries a Lionsault with most of the impact meeting Alexander’s knees. As Justin writhes on the mat, Alexander tries to tag in Alexis, only for Justin anchor Alexander by grabbing his ankle and not letting go. After a few attempts of shaking him off, Alexander is tripped by Justin’s legs and the ensuing rollup gets 2. Alexander is first to his feet, but again is forced to drag Justin who is basically a barnacle on his boot. Finally Alexander shakes on the Baltimorean, but not long enough to get the tag in on Alexis before Justin beats Alexander to the corner and dropkicks Alexis off the apron.

Justin whoops it up with fans nearby, only to eat a hellacious lariat from Alexander upon turning around. Alexander whips Justin into three of the four corners, with the third such act moving the ring about 4 inches according to an exasperated Russ on commentary. Alexander drills Justin with an uppercut. Then a Very European Uppercut. Then another Very European Uppercut. With Justin on Dream Street, Alexis makes her way back to the apron, but doesn’t even wait to be tagged as she makes a beeline for Justin, only to be cut off by Awesome Bill. The four brawl around the inside of the ring before Justin gets a familiar look in his eye. A double-handed chop sends Alexander down before …

DOUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHAAAAAAWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK!

The lights go out in the arena as Season 8 spoilers of “Game of Thrones” are read off to the crowd. After that, sizzling meat can be heard as a microwave dings just as the house lights are back on. Awesome Bill and Justin are out cold, laying on top of each other as Alexis holds a blackjack that she honestly never used. Before Creech brings himself to care enough about questioning the weapon, Alexander pins Justin.
WINNERS (pinfall, 12:48), The Darling Twins.


JACK BULLET vs. JOHN LAW

Mike Elevenbee stands in the ring with a general crowd noise behind him.

ME: Our next match this evening is one fall to a finish. Introducing first at a weight of 280 pounds, John Law.

Law enters from the back to "Untouchable" by Eminem twirling a nightstick and holding up a handful of zip ties to the crowd. They boo.

Russ: The match between Law and Jack Bullet didn’t get too far last week as Law decided to blindside and zip tie the Silver Eagle right at the start.

Razz: That’s what Jack gets for sucker punching Law in the hallway and acting like he’s above it all.

ME: And his opponent from Des Moines, Iowa, at a weight of 210 pounds, “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet.

Bullet enters to “Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent. He is carrying a U.S. Flag like he used to and waves it to the cheering crowd as he makes the ring.

Russ: That’s good to see. Jack Bullet returning to his old ways by bringing Old Glory back to ringside. Maybe Ellsworth the Eagle will be coming back as well.

Razz: I hope not. That bird crapped all over my car. Jack Bullet is pretending everything is peachy, but you don’t go through what he did and come out the other side with lights pinging off your teeth.

Russ: Sure, Bullet has been battling alcoholism, the loss of his soul to Firewoman and finding out his marriage was a scam, but he’s in therapy, going to AA meetings and living clean.

Razz: Well, John Law will put that lush right in the drunk tank if he’s not careful.

Bullet puts the flag in a holder on one of the ring posts. He stands on the apron and says to Law “are we going to actually wrestle this week.”
Law flicks his baton back and forth in his hand, staring at Bullet. He puts the nightstick in the corner and beckons for Jack to come at him. Referee Junior Hale calls for the bell. Bullet enters through the middle rope and John cuts him off with a rising knee to the gut. Law pulls Jack the rest of the way in and tosses him nonchalantly across the ring. Bullet rises to his knees, but Law fires a couple strikes down to his head. He then takes a slight step back and fires a big boot into Bullet’s face. Jack goes down.

Razz: John Law is legally destroying Jack Bullet this week. Maybe just getting his ass quickly handed to him and hogtied would have been better.

Law pulls Bullet up and throws him into the near corner. He slams into Bullet with a back elbow. John whips Jack to the opposite corner, but it’s reversed. Bullet charges and Law gets his foot up, taking him out. Law drops a knee and covers. One…two…shoulder up.
Law pulls Bullet up as he stands and slings him into the near ropes. He catches Bullet as he comes off, puts him on his hip in a smooth motion and drops for a sidewalk slam. He covers again for one…two…shoulder up. Law yells at Junior Hale for a slow count and then proceeds to choke Jack on the mat. Hale counts to five and Law breaks. He then chokes Bullet again. Hale counts to five again and Law breaks. Hale gives him a warning and John scoffs.

Russ: John Law has really laid out Jack Bullet so far in this match, but he hasn’t been able to put him away. Let’s see what else he has.

Law pulls Bullet up and hooks him around the midsection. He hoists him up and slams him down with a gutwrench powerbomb. He covers again for one…two…shoulder up. Law yells at Hale louder now and he just shrugs. Law pulls Bullet up and under his arm, setting up the Miranda Rights. Bullet falls dead to the mat. Law leans over to pick him up again, but Jack grabs the head and suckers Law with a roll up. One…two…they break apart.

Law shoots up, but Bullet is there and catches him with an arm drag. We go arm dragging until Law slides out to the floor. Bullet springs off the ropes and launches himself to the outside. Law catches him across the chest and follows with a back breaker. Keeping hold of Jack, he rises and tosses Bullet back into the ring.

Law makes the apron and enters the ring. Jack rolls across the mat and pulls himself up by the opposite ropes. Law charges for a double knee strike, but Jack pulls the ropes down and John tumbles to the outside. Bullet steps to the apron and takes a more measured approach with a fist drop to the floor.

Russ: Eagle Drop, Jack Bullet is getting back in this.

Razz: With one move, we’ll see.

Bullet pulls Law up by the head, hooks his tights and hits a vertical suplex. Hale warns Jack now as he continues his ring out count. Bullet rolls back inside. Law follows, just beating the 10 count. Jack charges at Law who tries the discus elbow, but Bullet ducks under it. Law turns in time to eat a dropkick. Bullet follows with a standing fist drop. He pulls Law up and across his shoulders. The fans pop for the Action Drop.

Russ: Impressive show of strength as Jack Bullet gets up the much bigger man.

Bullet points to the top rope and the fans pop. He climbs to the top turnbuckle. Law recovers and grabs his baton from the corner. Hale tries to stop him. Jack turns around and grabs the flag from the post. Bullet jumps with the flag held high, Law counters with the nightstick and they collide. Both men go down. Hale shakes his head and calls for the bell.

ME: This match has been ruled a double disqualification at 8:52.

Law, who wasn’t hurt as bad, rolls to the floor and takes the microphone.

JL: That’s wasn’t worth a disqualification, I’ll show you a disqualification.

Law pulls out his zip ties and dangles them to the booing crowd. He slides back into the ring, but Bullet is up and has the baton. He brains Law and the crowd pops. Jack goes for another shot, but Law tackles him and they fly across the ring and through the ropes to the floor. They make their feet and keep brawling as the scene fades.

ZED & MAC FLASHER vs. STACY KIRKLAND & SEBASTIAN DAVIS

The Reverend BRICK~! leads Zed and Mac Flasher to the ring with Sebastian Davis and “Black Magic” Stacy Kirkland wasting little time in bringing the fight to them as they run down to ringside and open up a large amount of whooped ass, enough to feed the OOWF Arena patrons for days as Sebastian pairs off with Mac and brains him with the ring post as Stacy DDTs Zed on the ringside steps. All of this before “Junior” Hale could signal for bell. Sebastian and Stacy admire their handiwork as BRICK~! hurriedly rushes to Zed’s aid, and then Mac’s. Hale examines both members of The God Complex with a bloodied Mac urging Hale to start the match. BRICK~! interjects, suggesting Mac get his cut closed up first, but Mac tears through BRICK~! and into Sebastian. That brawl turns into a quick 2-on-1 beatdown until Zed delivers flying forearms to both opponents. Hale checks on Mac again before starting the match proper.

Zed convinces Mac to start this match on the outside as he squares up against Sebastian. The two chain wrestler their way around the ring with a couple standoffs and a few instances of Zed wiggling out of a grapple, much to the chagrin of Sebastian. Sebastian tags in Stacy, who is tripped up by Zed. The Intercontinental Champion drops a series of elbows on her, missing the fourth drop as Stacy pops up and begins stomping away at a dazed Zed. Stacy tries to cradle Zed into a pretzel-like pin, but gets it reversed for 2, before Zed is able to untangle himself and tag in Mac, who drills Stacy with a lariat and another and a third before she slips to the outside. Sebastian drops off the apron to consult the frustrated Stacy as Mac is already airborne with Kennywood’s Open for both opponents. Mac high-fives fans and even BRICK~!, though he almost didn’t want to as the feed cuts to a commercial for OOWF After Dark’s newest series: “Bridget O’Face.”

The feed rejoins the action as Mac and Stacy are back in the ring. Stacy trying to get Mac into a test of strength with BRICK~! and fans in Belfast loudly advising against such a thing. Mac engages and is quickly raked in the eyes and worked into the Stacy-Sebastian corner. Sebastian tags in and pummels Mac with fists and forearms, sending him in the air with a particularly rough uppercut. Stacy gets her licks in, running with an elbow to the side of Mac’s face as the former two-time OOWF Champion is defenseless against the smooth offense of Stacy and Sebastian.

Russ: “This unit is quite cohesive for a team that hasn’t worked together very long.”
Razz: “Their mutual dislike of Mac Flasher is the binding agent in this case. I’d think most first-time teams would look good together if they both hated Mac.”

Sebastian keeps up the work on Mac, drilling him with a few knee lifts and following with a harsh discus punch and a Black Hole Slam that gets 2.5. With BRICK~! pounding on the apron, Sebastian decides to give The Reverend a front-row seat to his brutalization of Mac, as forearm smears and a few punches to the jaw and temple get Hale’s attention. This segues to a side headlock with Sebastian leaning all of his weight on Mac. Mac starts to fade with Hale checking on the arm. It drops twice before BRICK~! urges Belfast – and maybe a higher power – to get Mac some adrenaline. Mac’s arm stays up with the Yinzer standing up and tossing Sebastian on his hip. Mac collapses and tries to crawl to Zed, but is cut off by Sebastian who drags him back and reaches for a tag from Stacy. Mac tries to free himself from Sebastian’s grip, only for Stacy to drop a knee across his shoulders. With Mac downed, Stacy climbs the ropes and hits a 450 legdrop on Mac for 2.5. As Mac tries to shake the cobwebs, a DDT fogs the brain just a bit more as that also gets 2.5.

BRICK~! and Zed are urging Mac to make a much-needed tag. Stacy boots Mac down with a curbstomp-like attack that gets 2.5 only because BRICK~! pulled Mac out of the ring at the very last second. Hale admonishes the manager/Reverend as Zed helps Mac to his feet. That upright position is short-lived as a diving hip attack from the apron catches both men and sends them to the barricade.

Sebastian tears around and joins the fracas, only for Zed to sidestep him and trip him jaw-first onto the announce table. Stacy drags Mac back into the ring and whips him into the ropes as Zed blind-tags in. Hale sees the tag. Stacy does not. Mac ducks a clothesline and comes back with a flying clothesline on the other side. As Stacy stands up, BRICK~! splashes water into her face. Without warning, Stacy immediately grabs her face and starts to bellow in pain. This gives Mac enough time to ascend the ropes and yell “ASS PUNCH!” … Mac delivers with a booming fist to the derriere as Zed is ready to connect with a Divine Intervention package DDT to get a 3 that Sebastian barely is unable to prevent.
WINNERS (pinfall, 14:57), Zed and Mac Flasher.

Mac and Zed roll out of the ring as Stacy stares down BRICK~!. Sebastian is content to argue with Hale as BRICK~! tries to urge his charges up the ramp.

BEVERLY CAMBRIDGE vs. MATT FOLZ – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

The crowd goes crazy as "Cut the Cord" plays and Beverly Cambridge makes her way to the ring. She warms up in the corner as "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" plays and OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Matt Folz comes out. As usual Matt completely ignores the boos as he slides in the ring. The referee checks both competitors for weapons as Mike Elevenbee starts the introductions.

ME: Ladies and gentlemen, this is our co-main event of the evening. One fall to a finish, no time limit and it is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Introducing first in the corner to my left, she is a former OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. From Staten Island New York, 5'8 and weighing 130 pounds BEVERLY CAMBRIDGE! And her opponent, he is the reigning and defending OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. From Green Bay Wisconsin, 6'5 and weighing 225 pounds MATT FOLZ!

The bell rings and the two circle each other cautiously, neither one wanting to be the one to make the first mistake. They lock up and Beverly uses leverage to drive Matt back in the corner. Beverly nails a few hard chops before the referee calls for a break. Beverly backs to the center of the ring and mockingly beckons Matt. Matt explodes out of the corner but Beverly is too fast for him and takes him over with an arm drag. Beverly holds on to Matt's arm and nails two leg drops onto Matt's shoulder. Beverly quickly tries for the Labella Lock but Matt quickly makes it to the ropes. Matt rolls out of the ring to try and regroup but he doesn't see Beverly grab the ropes and leap over nailing Matt with a plancha. Beverly wisely rolls back in to break the count and then rolls back out and slams Matt's shoulder into the ring post. Beverly rolls the Champion back in the ring and then slides in after him and applies an arm bar. Beverly pulls hard on Matt's arm but Matt manages to get to one knee and nail several hard elbows to the back of Beverly's knee, causing her to release the hold. Matt takes Beverly over with a side headlock but Beverly turns it into a pinning combination for 2. Both get back to their feet and Beverly takes Matt down with a drop toe hold. Beverly follows up by dropping an elbow on Matt's shoulder. Bev goes for the La Bella Lock again but Matt rakes her eyes. A blinded Beverly tries charging but Matt grabs her and drops her throat first across the top rope with a Stun Gun.

Matt pulls Beverly up to a sitting position and nails several hard kicks to her back and ribs before picking her up and hitting a lungblower. Matt covers for 2. Snap suplex is followed by a Head and Arm Folzplex and finally an overhead belly to belly suplex for 2. Matt with a hard running knee and covers. 1...2...Beverly kicks out juuuust before 3. Matt picks Beverly up but now it's her turn to rake Matt's eyes. Beverly whips Matt hard into the corner and Matt grimaces as he hits hard on his injured shoulder. Beverly with a hammerlock and she slams Matt down on the injured arm. Beverly with a snap suplex and she holds Matt, picks him right back up and drops him across the top rope before completing a slingshot suplex. Beverly drags Matt to the center of the ring and then climbs up the turnbuckle. She leaps off and nails a top rope knee drop right onto Matt's shoulder. Beverly this time gets the La Bella Lock locked in. Matt's in a world of pain as he tries to roll over but Beverly rolls right through and keeps the hold on. Matt has his hand up and it looks like he might tap. Matt uses one last effort and reaches out every bit of his 6'5 frame to just barely grab the bottom rope. Beverly keeps the hold on til the referee reaches 4.9 and then releases the hold just before she's disqualified. Beverly waits for Matt to get to his feet and levels him with a spinning heel kick. Beverly heads up top again but Matt almost stumbles into the ropes and crotches her against the turnbuckle. Matt climbs up and takes Beverly over with a superplex! He manages to get an arm over her. 1...2...No! Matt looks for the Folzmission but Beverly manages to get to the corner and kick off the turnbuckle landing on top of Matt. 1...2...Matt releases the hold just in time. Matt with a kick to the gut and looks for the Angle Slam, but Beverly slips off his shoulders and nails him with a codebreaker. She covers for a very close 2 count. Beverly goes for a slam, Matt reverses into an inside cradle for a 2 count of his own. Both get to their feet, Beverly tries a clothesline but Matt ducks and locks in the Folzmission. Beverly tries to get to the corner again but this time Matt drags her back to the center of the ring and falls back. Matt applies the body scissors and Beverly fights valiantly but has no where to go. She has no choice but to tap.

Winner (Submission, 15:12) and STILL OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Matt Folz

A disappointed Beverly rolls out of the ring as the referee hands Matt his Championship. Matt holds it over his head to taunt the crowd before giving an appreciative nod to Beverly and mouthing the words "Let's do this again sometime."

THE FRENEMIES vs. CLAN QUINN – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

For this match we see that a Hell in the Cell has been built around the ring. The announce team is inside the cell as well.

Russ: Folks, I gotta say, this I a first for me. I have never been inside one of these demonic structures, and to be perfectly honest, I am not happy about it, but with the Moose and Fire’s actions this week, management thought we would be safer inside the confines of a Hell in the Cell
Razz: You know Russ……..in all my years involved in wrestling, I have never been scared to be in an arena. Tonight……….I am a little nervous about this.
Russ: For the record, not that I think it will matter, this is NOT a Hell in the Cell match, the cage is TECHNICALLY off limits, however, I don’t think that rule will be followed for long


The Frenemies music plays and they come to the ring to a nice ovation from a crowd that is just ITCHING to boo Clan Quinn. Kylie and Bridget step into the cage, and seem visibly relieved to get this reaction instead of being booed out of the building like last week.

The opening strands of Armagoddamnmotherfuckingeddon plays and the crowd immediately drowns it out with boos. On the OOTron we see the OOWF tag team champions walking toward the ring, belts around their waists, Moose wearing an IRA shirt, while Fire wears a Sinn Fein shirt, and somehow the boos get louder. As they get to the aisle, they are surrounded by police in full riot gear. They are completely surrounded, and some police have their shields raised to deflect the debris that rains down on them. They get to the door of the cage and Moose and Fire step into the (relative) safety of the cell and slide into the ring and stand on the turnbuckles and taunt the crowd. There are people trying to climb the cage, but security stops them. The referee frantically calls for the bell and the match is underway!

KILL CLAN QUINN chants start as Kylie dropkicks Moose, sending him over the top rope to the floor while Bridget grabs Fire and pulls her off the ropes and slams her to the canvas. As Fire stands back up, Bridget catches her with a drop kick to the jaw that sends Fire into the corner. Bridget charges in with a high knee to the face, then snapmares Fire to the mat and connects with a running knee to the back of Fire’s head. Fire collapses to the mat and Bridget covers, but Moose makes his way back into the ring and breaks up the pin at two.

The crowd predictably boos the shit out of that. Bridget tags Kylie into the ring and she slings over the top rope and drops an elbow right to Fire’s ribs. Fire howls in pain as Kylie traps her in a sitting abdominal stretch, digging her elbow into Fire’s ribs. Fire slowly fights to her feet and fights free. The crowd boos the hell out of each Fire punch, then cheers wildly when Fire misses a punch and Kylie takes her to the mat with a neck breaker. She covers again and Moose tries to make the save with an elbow to the back of the head, but Kylie rolls out of the way and Moose drops an elbow across Fire. Bridget is into the ring now and she grabs Moose and LAUNCHES him over the top rope. Moose hits the wall of the cell, and as he gets to his feet fans reach through the cell and grab his hair. Moose struggles to free himself and security enters the cell with clubs drawn and wail on the arms tearing at Moose.

Jack slides back into the ring and rolls to his corner. The crowd is absolutely LIVID right now, they are shaking the cell, and it is rocking back and forth wildly. The referee orders Moose out of the ring, Jack slides out of the ring, careful to avoid the cell walls, grabs a title from the announce table and slides back into the ring and BLASTS Kylie right upside the head, right in front of the referee! The ref immediately calls for the bell.
WINNERS in 10:58 – by disqualification – The Frenemies

The second the bell rings, the police are yelling for Moose and Fire to get out of there. They slide out of the ring and are once again surrounded by the riot squad and they are escorted to the back. The Frenemies grab the titles left by Clan Quinn in their haste to get out of there and pose on the turnbuckles to please the crowd, but it doesn’t work. More debris rains down on the cell, bottles fall through the roof of the cage nearly hitting Kylie. The referee calls for them to get out of the ring as well, and the three of them are escorted to the back as well.

Russ: Folks, I’m getting the hell out of here. For Razz, I’m Russ, and we………folks, we’ve got to get out of here NOW

<the sound of the cage coming apart is heard, along with the announcement of “PLEASE DO NOT THROW THINGS!” repeatedly blaring over the speakers, and finally the sound of what we HOPE is tear gas being shot, as we fade to black>

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out OOWF Storming the Beach 2!, May 26, Live! From Le Havre, France. And don’t forget to catch next week’s MidWeek Mayhem, April 3rd, Live! from Glasgow, Scotland