We have one rule here at This Is Wrestling and that rule is the same as my other promotion, Progress, ‘Don’t be a dick’.
In an earlier promotional video Mick Foley was attacked by someone who is a dick. He called me and stood down as commissioner. And I promised him I will get to the bottom of who attacked him.
But before that, Here at This Is Wrestling we want to take you all on a journey and showcase the best wrestling in the world!
In order to put on the best wrestling in the world we need the best wrestlers in the world. And we’ve been lucky enough to draft superstars from 10 glorious different nations (so far) which are The Netherlands, The UK, Japan, Mexico, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Russia, Samoa and The USA. We are the most diverse promotion in the world.
But who is the best wrestler in the world?
*cult of personality hits*
Punk: I am CM Punk and I am the best in the world in that ring, on this microphone, even at commentary. No one can touch me. Now I’m not stupid. I know who has been signed to This Is Wrestling. Kazuchika Okada. Okada has never quite made it to the big time. He might be the longest reigning IWGP champion of all time. But I was the longest reigning WWE champion of the modern era. I fought legends and the best wrestlers in the industry. Okada fought nobody’s and Indy darlings. I shattered the glass ceiling, whilst Okada was stuck.
He may have had a legendary 7 star match, but his opponent slipped on that ladder too.
Okada is a choker that is nothing outside of Japan.
I am the main event. I am the best in the world and Okada is the great pretender that could never step up to box with God.
Jim Smallman: Wait a minute now, Punk. You can’t just jump into the main event. If I remember rightly you took your ball and went home when things got tough for you. Okada has earned the main event. You need to earn it too. Besides, I’ve already booked a match for Okada. He is going to be facing Aleister Black at ‘The Road to Wrestling’ for the inaugural King of Wrestling championship.
CM Punk: Aleister Black?! A guy who most recently has been floating in the mid card in a thrown together tag team! Black has stolen my spot! And I’m going to make sure he fades to black.
Smallman: Talking about stealing ... Someone came to me earlier and requested a match against you.
**KENTA strikes Punk outta nowhere. Punk fights back, but KENTA gets the upper hand. KENTA gets Punk into position for the GTS, but Punk slides off and retreats**
Jim Smallman: I said yes to that match, Punk! So at The Road to Wrestling, It will be CM Punk vs KENTA!!!!
********
The Road to Wrestling will be held at Wembley Arena.
Matches announced so far:
The King of Wrestling Championship Aleister Black vs Kazuchika Okada
Jim Smallman approaches Torrie Wilson’s dressing room. Her dressing room was the closest to where Foley got attacked.
Torrie tells Jim that she heard the attack and went to see what happened. She tells Jim that see saw Kay Lee Ray running away.
Jim calls out KLR and says he is going to fine her, but she denies it was her. She saw the attack.
Out comes Jimmy Havoc.
Jimmy says he is known all over the UK and the Indys for putting on the best hardcore matches. He wants to be a hardcore legend so the best way for him to do it was to take out Foley. Jim says he’s going to fine Havoc for the attack.
Foley comes out and tells Jim a fine isn’t necessary. He’s been in a dark place and wants to take Jimmy there.
Jimmy is smiling and tells Jim to make the match.
Jim makes it official, at Road to Wrestling it will be Jimmy Havoc vs Mick Foley in a hardcore match!!!
Foley says no. He doesn’t want that. He wants a hardcore death match. And Jimmy won’t be facing Mick Foley, he will be facing Cactus Jack!!!!!
Cactus Jack rushes to Havoc and brawl happens. Local security split them up.
The results are in for the inaugural This Is Wrestling event.
Our backstage host Torrie Wilson has the results and a has a huge announcement for Detour To Wrestling.
Your Name: Cub Company name: This Is Wrestling Event name: Road to Wrestling Location: Wembley Arena
General manager: Jim Smallman Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura Referee: Heath Slater
Opening Match: Ladder Match for the ‘Prince of Wrestling Championship’ Mark Haskins vs Kalisto vs Ilja Dragunov vs Austin Theory vs Zack Ryder vs Curt Hawkins
Ilja Dragunov went into match as heavy favourite, but Kalisto grabbed the title to become the Prince of Wrestling. In a division with lots of contenders, who knows what his next challenge will bring.
Match two: Triple threat tag team match for the ‘Dukes of Wrestling Tag Team Championship’ South Pacific Power Trip (Travis Banks and TK Cooper w/ Dhalia Black) vs Moustache Mountain (Tyler Bate and Trent Seven) vs Tencozy (Hiroyoshi Tenzan and Satoshi Kojima)
Tencozy were too much for SPPT and MM. They are the Dukes of Wrestling
Match three: Singles match for the ‘Queen of Wrestling Championship’ Toni Storm vs Jinny
Toni Storm defeats Jinny in a match that could’ve gone either way
Match four: Big lads wrestling Dave Mastiff vs Mark Henry
Big Dave fell to Mark Henry and entered the hall of pain. Will Mark be looking to add new members to the hall of pain?’
Match five: Triple threat six man tag team match for the ‘Knights of Wrestling Championship’ The Wild Samoans (Afa, Sika and Umaga) vs Villain Enterprises (Marty Scurll, Brody King and PCO) vs Lucha Dragon Party (Mistico, Flamita and Bandido
Lucha Dragon Party added a lot of pace and high flying action into this match, but The Villian Enterprises walk away as victors
Match six: Singles match CM Punk vs KENTA
In what was the match of the night, Punk defeated KENTA by making him submit to the Anaconda Vice. After the match, KENTA finally hits Punk with the GTS.
Match seven: Hardcore death match Cactus Jack vs Jimmy Havoc
Cactus Jack overcame Jimmy Havoc. After the match they showed a sign a respect to each other, but were interrupted by another hardcore legend Rhyno. All three hold their arms up in a X symbol, presumably meaning they are now a team.
Match eight: Tag team match for the ‘Princesses of Wrestling Championship’ The Princesses of Wrestling (Carmella, Princess of Staton Island and Miyu Yamashita, Tokyo’s Princess of Princesses) vs The Latina Connection (Lita and Mercedes Martinez)
Lita and Mercedes Martinez has some communication issues and we’re trying to prove they were better than the other. This ultimately led to their defeat and the Princesses of Wrestling became the Princesses of Wrestling
Main event: Singles match for the ‘King of Wrestling Championship’ Aleister Black vs Kazuchika Okada
In an outstanding main event, that stole the whole card 1 event Okada defeated Black with a Rainmaker. After the match, CM Punk attacked Black on the ramp during Okada’s celebration and motioned that he’s after the title.
Torrie Wilson announces that at Detour to Wrestling it will be CM Punk vs Aleister Black in a number one contenders match.
I see that my error was relying too much on the UK scene and other Indy’s, which I understand aren’t as popular.
Hopefully some of the names I drafted will have successful careers. One to look out for is Ilja Dragunov, he’s a Russian that usually performs in Germany (same promotion that Walter came from). He’s recently signed for NXT UK so if you a chance to check anyone out, he’s probably the one I’d recommend.
If I’m invited to play along again, I definitely will pick up my game as I’ve learnt from this loss.