PHWF 7: Road to Glory
May 15, 2007 20:30:39 GMT -5
Post by Jack Quinn on May 15, 2007 20:30:39 GMT -5
PHWF 7: Road to Glory
Live! From Delamar Ghost Town, Nevada
(no commentary this week, I wasn’t feeling it, and I would rather give you nothing than give you crap)
RYAN TAB vs. SYB
SYB bills himself as hailing from Mooseland, whatever that means. The fans don’t like him at all, which comes as a surprise to anyone. He is rather irritating. Ryan Tab comes out next and makes his way to the ring, slapping hands with everyone that puts their arms out. Tab gets into the ring and leaps to the top rope and poses for the crowd. Not to be outdone, SYB climbs to the top rope and tries to pose, and gets pelted with garbage. Tab sees this and nearly falls off the top rope with laughter. SYB is furious, and challenges Tab to a display of athletic skills. So Tab climbs to the top rope and back flips off the top rope, rolls through backward, then kips up. The fans explode. SYB, not to be outdone, climbs to the top rope, and tries a moonsault, but belly flops badly. After flopping around like a fish out of water for a few seconds, SYB tries a kip up, but falls, repeatedly. Once again the fans boo and pelt the ring with garbage. Tab is nearly doubled over with laughter now. SYB gets to his feet and attacks Tab, clubbing him with forearms to the back. SYB tries a whip to the corner, but Tab reverses it and sends SYB into the corner chest first. SYB staggers backward a few steps and Tab charges and catches him with a bulldog that drops SYB face first on the top turnbuckle while Tab lands on the apron. SYB flops back to the center of the ring, Tab climbs to the top rope and hits the FanTabulous! Cover, one, two three! This one is over!
WINNER in 3:51- Ryan Tab
Tab celebrates on the top rope, when suddenly Ryan Insert appears inside the ring and grabs Tab from the top rope and hits the RAZOR’S EDGE! The back of Tab’s head slams into the canvas, and his eyes roll into the back of his head! Insert slips out of the ring and grabs a couple of chairs and he is about to perform a one man con-chair-to, but PHWF Officials flood the ring and keep him from bashing in Tab’s brains.
RYAN INSERT & VIET CONG VIPER vs. KENJI & KNIFE
Kenji and Knife attack as soon as the bell rings, Kenji takes Viper and throws him between the ropes and follows him to the outside, where they brawl around the ring. Inside the ring, Knife nails Insert from behind and backs him into the corner with knife edge chops, but Insert fights free with a scientific thumb to the eye. Insert grabs Knife and runs his head along the top rope, burning his eyes in the process, then insert grabs Knife and chokes him on the top rope. On the outside Kenji and Viper are taking turns slamming each others heads into anything that is not nailed down. They both land chops at the same time, then each one staggers in opposite directions and grabs a chair, they turn and both men shoot chairs at each other’s heads. Viper ducks his at the last second, Kenji is not so lucky, the chair bounces off his head. Viper grabs Kenji and drops him to the floor, and locks on the Anaconda Vice! Kenji is in trouble! The referee leaves the ring and checks on the two men. Inside the ring, insert lets go of Knife and lets him fall to the canvas, when he turns around, Ryan Tab is standing in the ring with a chair, Insert has no time to react and catches a steel chair right between the eyes. Tab stands over insert and stares him down. Tab then leaves the ring as Insert begins to stir. Ryan Insert gets to his feet and sees Tab on the outside of the ring, when he turns around Knife is on his feet, he pops Insert with a super kick right to the jaw, then covers, hooks both legs. The referee sees what is happening inside the ring and slides in and makes the three count.
WINNERS in 9:42 – Kenji & Knife
ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. CHRIS COLE vs. MGB - #1 Contenders Match
All three men make it to the ring, and meet in the center of the ring and the jawing begins. AA pulls a wad of money out of his tights and appears to be offering a bribe to the other two men. MGB readily accepts the money, sticks it in his tights and turns to leave the ring. Cole is next, he takes a little more convincing, but then he takes the money and he turns to leave the ring as well. AA celebrates and heads to the top rope to show his smarts. Cole and MGB both charge the corner and pull AA down, Cole whips AA to the ropes and MGB nearly kills him with a clothesline from hell. AA’s money spills all over the ring, and AA rolls under the bottom rope and falls to the floor. Cole and MGB look at the money lying all over the ring, MBG starts picking up the money and pocketing it, Cole waits, and catches MGB while he is doubled over and drops him with a pile driver! Cole covers MGB, one, two, AA reaches in and pulls AA out of the ring and drops him on the floor with a DDT. AA climbs into the ring and waits for MGB to get to his feet, as he does, AA kicks him in the midsection, then rebounds off the ropes and sends MGB right back to the mat with a running knee lift. Chris Cole is fighting to his feet on the outside and gets back on the apron, but AA runs over and nails him in the side of the head with a forearm. AA turns back to MGH, who charges trying for another clothesline from hell, but AA ducks, and as MGB rebounds off the ropes AA slaps on the CLAW!!! No one has ever broken the claw! MGB fights the move, but eventually he succumbs falling to the mat. AA keeps the pressure on and gets a two count, then, without the referee seeing, he puts his feet on the middle rope and gets the three count!
WINNER in 15:03 – Attitude Adjuster
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. SPIN HANSEN – Steel Cage Match
Moosehead Jack comes to the ring first and waits in the cage like a caged lion. Spin Hansen comes out next and marches right to the ring, eyes focused. Spin gets to the door and pauses for just a moment, which gives Moose the chance to run across the ring and kick the door open into Spin’s face. Spin falls to the floor, blood running from a gash over his eye. Moose leaves the ring and grabs Spin and throws him face first into the outside of the cage. Moose spins Spin around and pummels him with rights right to the cut. Spin shoves Moose off and reaches under the ring and grabs a wooden two by four wrapped in barbed wire, as Moose charges in again, Spin turns and slams the board upside Moose’s head, leaving the barbs tangled in Moose’s hair and blood running down the side of Moose’s face and neck. Spin grabs Moose and shoves him back into the ring, barbed wire and board still hanging from his head. Spin follows Moose and grabs him and sends him into the cage face first. Moose hits the mat, a bloody mess and pulls the barbed wire board from his head. Hansen charges in and tries a big boot, but Jack slams Spin between the legs with the barbed wire board. Spin doubles over in pain and Jack goes on the offensive, tearing the board from between Spin’s legs, leaving some nice gashes, and tearing off some barbed wire and wrapping it around Spin’s throat. Spin blocks it somewhat with his hands, but it still digs into his neck sickeningly. Spin fights to his feet, and falls backward out the door. Both men tumble to the floor. The referee realizes this one is teetering on the brink of being out of control when Spin and Moose both grab bottles and slam them into each others heads. The referee calls for the bell and waives this one off.
WINNER – No Contest in 18:02
JOHNNY ADRENALINE vs. CONCRETE TG – N-Sanity Title Match
Both men got through their introductions and we are ready to start this one. The bell rings and they meet in the center of the ring. Slow circle to start, and Crete proposes a test of strength. Adrenaline seems game, and they engage in the Greco-Roman knucklelock of doom, no sooner is that done when Adrenaline gets in a stiff kick to the mid section. Crete drops to one knee, then immediately springs to his feet and monkey flips Adrenaline across the ring. Adrenaline is up quickly and Crete catches him with a snap hurracarana that sends Johnny to the other side of the ring. Adrenaline pulls himself to his feet using the ropes, and Crete charges in and tries a monkey flip out of the corner, but Adrenaline lands on his feet. Quite proud of his ability, Adrenaline gloats about it, and catches a Crete drop kick to the back of the skull. Johnny falls out of the ring to the floor. Concrete comes to the ropes and is about to leave when the referee pushes him aside. Johnny uses this distraction to leap to the apron and guillotine Crete on the top rope. Crete falls to the inside of the ring and Johnny pounces. Johnny rakes his boot laces across Crete’s eyes blinding him temporarily. Johnny pulls Crete up and sets him on the top rope, but before he can climb up Crete grabs his head and tires a tornado DDT, but Johnny reverses it into a spine buster. Adrenaline gets a two count, but Crete is out just in time. Both men get to their feet, Crete tries a kick, Adrenaline catches it, ENZUGURI to Adrenaline! Crete climbs to the top rope and tries a double rotation SSP, but Adrenaline moves out of the way and Crete crashes and burns! Johnny pulls Crete to his feet and hits the ADRENALINE RUSH! Floats over, one, two three.
WINNER in 20:01 – Johnny Adrenaline
THE GOP vs. COURTNEY SHAW & MASTER GATOR – PHWF World Tag Team Title Match
The GOP meet Shaw and Gator in the center of the ring and offer their hands, but Gator and Courtney aren’t buying it, good thing too, the camera pans around and we see that both members of the GOP were holding metal Reagan statuettes. The referee sees this and makes them drop them outside the ring and calls for the bell. As soon as it rings, Courtney and Gator attack, Court hits a drop kick to the back of Tex head sending him over the top rope to the floor. Courtney follows him out and leaves Gator and Eco. Gator pulls Eco to the center of the ring and hits a series of kicks to the ribs and knees, then goes for the finishing burning hammer, but Eco ducks, catches him and hits a fall away choke slam. Eco climbs to the top rope and waits perched on the top. On the outside, Tex is running around the ring trying to avoid Courtney who has a Reagan statuette. As Courtney rounds the corner she runs right into Bill O’Reilley! His bombastic conservative rhetoric knocks Courtney to the ground and he stands over her laughing. Tex slides into the ring and holds a dazed Gator in a full nelson while Eco leaps with a double axe-handle. Predictably Gator moves and Eco slams Tex in the face. Gator grabs Eco and throws him over the top rope and pulls Tex to his feet and hits the CRUNCH! On the outside, Courtney has had enough, she grabs the Reagan statuette and bludgeons Bill O’Reilly, drawing a huge pop from the crowd, leaving him a bloody mess on the floor. While Courtney is killing Bill O’Reilly, she doesn’t see Eco slip back into the ring with a chair and SLAM it across Gator’s back, in full view of the referee. The ref immediately calls for the bell.
WINNERS in 22:22 by disqualification – Courtney Shaw & Master Gator
CHRIS ALT vs. LD WILLIAMS – PHWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Both men make their entrances and meet in the center of the ring to get the referee’s instructions. Williams does not even blink, he just glares at Alt. Alt meets Williams stare and slowly takes off his title and holds it in the air, popping the crowd nicely. Alt hands the title to the referee and he signals for the bell. Collar and elbow tie up, Williams pushes Alt back to the corner, the referee calls for a clean break, Williams appears to give it, then unleashes an open hand chop to Alt’s chest. More annoyance than pain, but it gets Alt to charge out of the corner, rather recklessly, which gives Williams the opening he needs to land a straight punch to the jaw that sends Alt to the mat. Williams pounces and locks on an arm bar, grinding his knee into the side of Alt’s head. Alt quickly works his way to his feet and frees himself with a knee to the mid section, Alt hits the ropes and connects with a running knee lift to Williams jaw. LDW rolls to the apron, Alt grabs him and pulls him to his feet, but Williams goes to the eyes, then runs Alt down the ropes and slams his head on the turnbuckle, as Alt staggers backward, Williams takes him down with a clothesline. LD climbs back into the ring, covers and gets a two count. Williams pulls Alt to a sitting position and repeatedly drives his knee into the back of Alt’s neck, then tries to twist Alt’s head off his shoulders. Spurred on by the crowd, Alt fights to his feet and elbows Williams in the gut, then whips him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and Williams plants Alt with a DDT. Williams covers and hooks the leg, but Alt manages to roll his shoulder at two. The action continues on for another thirty minutes, both men are exhausted and down on the mat. Williams gets to his feet first and plants Alt on the mat then heads to the top rope. Before he can do anything, Alt gets to his feet and catches him on the ropes. Both men slug it out on the top, Williams trying to knock Alt off, Alt trying for a superplex. Finally both men start trading haymakers, Williams starts to fall backward, and reaches out and grabs Alt and both men tumble off the top rope and crash through the Philippino Announce Table! Neither man is moving and the referee starts the count. The fans are expecting someone to get to their feet, and it sort of appears that the referee is as well, but he makes it to ten, then looks around nervously and calls for the bell. Officials come out from the back and dig through the wreckage and check on both men.
WINNER – Double Count out in 35:32
Be sure to join us on May 30th for PHWF 8: South of the Border Slaughter, live from Zihuatanejo, Mexico
Live! From Delamar Ghost Town, Nevada
(no commentary this week, I wasn’t feeling it, and I would rather give you nothing than give you crap)
RYAN TAB vs. SYB
SYB bills himself as hailing from Mooseland, whatever that means. The fans don’t like him at all, which comes as a surprise to anyone. He is rather irritating. Ryan Tab comes out next and makes his way to the ring, slapping hands with everyone that puts their arms out. Tab gets into the ring and leaps to the top rope and poses for the crowd. Not to be outdone, SYB climbs to the top rope and tries to pose, and gets pelted with garbage. Tab sees this and nearly falls off the top rope with laughter. SYB is furious, and challenges Tab to a display of athletic skills. So Tab climbs to the top rope and back flips off the top rope, rolls through backward, then kips up. The fans explode. SYB, not to be outdone, climbs to the top rope, and tries a moonsault, but belly flops badly. After flopping around like a fish out of water for a few seconds, SYB tries a kip up, but falls, repeatedly. Once again the fans boo and pelt the ring with garbage. Tab is nearly doubled over with laughter now. SYB gets to his feet and attacks Tab, clubbing him with forearms to the back. SYB tries a whip to the corner, but Tab reverses it and sends SYB into the corner chest first. SYB staggers backward a few steps and Tab charges and catches him with a bulldog that drops SYB face first on the top turnbuckle while Tab lands on the apron. SYB flops back to the center of the ring, Tab climbs to the top rope and hits the FanTabulous! Cover, one, two three! This one is over!
WINNER in 3:51- Ryan Tab
Tab celebrates on the top rope, when suddenly Ryan Insert appears inside the ring and grabs Tab from the top rope and hits the RAZOR’S EDGE! The back of Tab’s head slams into the canvas, and his eyes roll into the back of his head! Insert slips out of the ring and grabs a couple of chairs and he is about to perform a one man con-chair-to, but PHWF Officials flood the ring and keep him from bashing in Tab’s brains.
RYAN INSERT & VIET CONG VIPER vs. KENJI & KNIFE
Kenji and Knife attack as soon as the bell rings, Kenji takes Viper and throws him between the ropes and follows him to the outside, where they brawl around the ring. Inside the ring, Knife nails Insert from behind and backs him into the corner with knife edge chops, but Insert fights free with a scientific thumb to the eye. Insert grabs Knife and runs his head along the top rope, burning his eyes in the process, then insert grabs Knife and chokes him on the top rope. On the outside Kenji and Viper are taking turns slamming each others heads into anything that is not nailed down. They both land chops at the same time, then each one staggers in opposite directions and grabs a chair, they turn and both men shoot chairs at each other’s heads. Viper ducks his at the last second, Kenji is not so lucky, the chair bounces off his head. Viper grabs Kenji and drops him to the floor, and locks on the Anaconda Vice! Kenji is in trouble! The referee leaves the ring and checks on the two men. Inside the ring, insert lets go of Knife and lets him fall to the canvas, when he turns around, Ryan Tab is standing in the ring with a chair, Insert has no time to react and catches a steel chair right between the eyes. Tab stands over insert and stares him down. Tab then leaves the ring as Insert begins to stir. Ryan Insert gets to his feet and sees Tab on the outside of the ring, when he turns around Knife is on his feet, he pops Insert with a super kick right to the jaw, then covers, hooks both legs. The referee sees what is happening inside the ring and slides in and makes the three count.
WINNERS in 9:42 – Kenji & Knife
ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. CHRIS COLE vs. MGB - #1 Contenders Match
All three men make it to the ring, and meet in the center of the ring and the jawing begins. AA pulls a wad of money out of his tights and appears to be offering a bribe to the other two men. MGB readily accepts the money, sticks it in his tights and turns to leave the ring. Cole is next, he takes a little more convincing, but then he takes the money and he turns to leave the ring as well. AA celebrates and heads to the top rope to show his smarts. Cole and MGB both charge the corner and pull AA down, Cole whips AA to the ropes and MGB nearly kills him with a clothesline from hell. AA’s money spills all over the ring, and AA rolls under the bottom rope and falls to the floor. Cole and MGB look at the money lying all over the ring, MBG starts picking up the money and pocketing it, Cole waits, and catches MGB while he is doubled over and drops him with a pile driver! Cole covers MGB, one, two, AA reaches in and pulls AA out of the ring and drops him on the floor with a DDT. AA climbs into the ring and waits for MGB to get to his feet, as he does, AA kicks him in the midsection, then rebounds off the ropes and sends MGB right back to the mat with a running knee lift. Chris Cole is fighting to his feet on the outside and gets back on the apron, but AA runs over and nails him in the side of the head with a forearm. AA turns back to MGH, who charges trying for another clothesline from hell, but AA ducks, and as MGB rebounds off the ropes AA slaps on the CLAW!!! No one has ever broken the claw! MGB fights the move, but eventually he succumbs falling to the mat. AA keeps the pressure on and gets a two count, then, without the referee seeing, he puts his feet on the middle rope and gets the three count!
WINNER in 15:03 – Attitude Adjuster
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. SPIN HANSEN – Steel Cage Match
Moosehead Jack comes to the ring first and waits in the cage like a caged lion. Spin Hansen comes out next and marches right to the ring, eyes focused. Spin gets to the door and pauses for just a moment, which gives Moose the chance to run across the ring and kick the door open into Spin’s face. Spin falls to the floor, blood running from a gash over his eye. Moose leaves the ring and grabs Spin and throws him face first into the outside of the cage. Moose spins Spin around and pummels him with rights right to the cut. Spin shoves Moose off and reaches under the ring and grabs a wooden two by four wrapped in barbed wire, as Moose charges in again, Spin turns and slams the board upside Moose’s head, leaving the barbs tangled in Moose’s hair and blood running down the side of Moose’s face and neck. Spin grabs Moose and shoves him back into the ring, barbed wire and board still hanging from his head. Spin follows Moose and grabs him and sends him into the cage face first. Moose hits the mat, a bloody mess and pulls the barbed wire board from his head. Hansen charges in and tries a big boot, but Jack slams Spin between the legs with the barbed wire board. Spin doubles over in pain and Jack goes on the offensive, tearing the board from between Spin’s legs, leaving some nice gashes, and tearing off some barbed wire and wrapping it around Spin’s throat. Spin blocks it somewhat with his hands, but it still digs into his neck sickeningly. Spin fights to his feet, and falls backward out the door. Both men tumble to the floor. The referee realizes this one is teetering on the brink of being out of control when Spin and Moose both grab bottles and slam them into each others heads. The referee calls for the bell and waives this one off.
WINNER – No Contest in 18:02
JOHNNY ADRENALINE vs. CONCRETE TG – N-Sanity Title Match
Both men got through their introductions and we are ready to start this one. The bell rings and they meet in the center of the ring. Slow circle to start, and Crete proposes a test of strength. Adrenaline seems game, and they engage in the Greco-Roman knucklelock of doom, no sooner is that done when Adrenaline gets in a stiff kick to the mid section. Crete drops to one knee, then immediately springs to his feet and monkey flips Adrenaline across the ring. Adrenaline is up quickly and Crete catches him with a snap hurracarana that sends Johnny to the other side of the ring. Adrenaline pulls himself to his feet using the ropes, and Crete charges in and tries a monkey flip out of the corner, but Adrenaline lands on his feet. Quite proud of his ability, Adrenaline gloats about it, and catches a Crete drop kick to the back of the skull. Johnny falls out of the ring to the floor. Concrete comes to the ropes and is about to leave when the referee pushes him aside. Johnny uses this distraction to leap to the apron and guillotine Crete on the top rope. Crete falls to the inside of the ring and Johnny pounces. Johnny rakes his boot laces across Crete’s eyes blinding him temporarily. Johnny pulls Crete up and sets him on the top rope, but before he can climb up Crete grabs his head and tires a tornado DDT, but Johnny reverses it into a spine buster. Adrenaline gets a two count, but Crete is out just in time. Both men get to their feet, Crete tries a kick, Adrenaline catches it, ENZUGURI to Adrenaline! Crete climbs to the top rope and tries a double rotation SSP, but Adrenaline moves out of the way and Crete crashes and burns! Johnny pulls Crete to his feet and hits the ADRENALINE RUSH! Floats over, one, two three.
WINNER in 20:01 – Johnny Adrenaline
THE GOP vs. COURTNEY SHAW & MASTER GATOR – PHWF World Tag Team Title Match
The GOP meet Shaw and Gator in the center of the ring and offer their hands, but Gator and Courtney aren’t buying it, good thing too, the camera pans around and we see that both members of the GOP were holding metal Reagan statuettes. The referee sees this and makes them drop them outside the ring and calls for the bell. As soon as it rings, Courtney and Gator attack, Court hits a drop kick to the back of Tex head sending him over the top rope to the floor. Courtney follows him out and leaves Gator and Eco. Gator pulls Eco to the center of the ring and hits a series of kicks to the ribs and knees, then goes for the finishing burning hammer, but Eco ducks, catches him and hits a fall away choke slam. Eco climbs to the top rope and waits perched on the top. On the outside, Tex is running around the ring trying to avoid Courtney who has a Reagan statuette. As Courtney rounds the corner she runs right into Bill O’Reilley! His bombastic conservative rhetoric knocks Courtney to the ground and he stands over her laughing. Tex slides into the ring and holds a dazed Gator in a full nelson while Eco leaps with a double axe-handle. Predictably Gator moves and Eco slams Tex in the face. Gator grabs Eco and throws him over the top rope and pulls Tex to his feet and hits the CRUNCH! On the outside, Courtney has had enough, she grabs the Reagan statuette and bludgeons Bill O’Reilly, drawing a huge pop from the crowd, leaving him a bloody mess on the floor. While Courtney is killing Bill O’Reilly, she doesn’t see Eco slip back into the ring with a chair and SLAM it across Gator’s back, in full view of the referee. The ref immediately calls for the bell.
WINNERS in 22:22 by disqualification – Courtney Shaw & Master Gator
CHRIS ALT vs. LD WILLIAMS – PHWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Both men make their entrances and meet in the center of the ring to get the referee’s instructions. Williams does not even blink, he just glares at Alt. Alt meets Williams stare and slowly takes off his title and holds it in the air, popping the crowd nicely. Alt hands the title to the referee and he signals for the bell. Collar and elbow tie up, Williams pushes Alt back to the corner, the referee calls for a clean break, Williams appears to give it, then unleashes an open hand chop to Alt’s chest. More annoyance than pain, but it gets Alt to charge out of the corner, rather recklessly, which gives Williams the opening he needs to land a straight punch to the jaw that sends Alt to the mat. Williams pounces and locks on an arm bar, grinding his knee into the side of Alt’s head. Alt quickly works his way to his feet and frees himself with a knee to the mid section, Alt hits the ropes and connects with a running knee lift to Williams jaw. LDW rolls to the apron, Alt grabs him and pulls him to his feet, but Williams goes to the eyes, then runs Alt down the ropes and slams his head on the turnbuckle, as Alt staggers backward, Williams takes him down with a clothesline. LD climbs back into the ring, covers and gets a two count. Williams pulls Alt to a sitting position and repeatedly drives his knee into the back of Alt’s neck, then tries to twist Alt’s head off his shoulders. Spurred on by the crowd, Alt fights to his feet and elbows Williams in the gut, then whips him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and Williams plants Alt with a DDT. Williams covers and hooks the leg, but Alt manages to roll his shoulder at two. The action continues on for another thirty minutes, both men are exhausted and down on the mat. Williams gets to his feet first and plants Alt on the mat then heads to the top rope. Before he can do anything, Alt gets to his feet and catches him on the ropes. Both men slug it out on the top, Williams trying to knock Alt off, Alt trying for a superplex. Finally both men start trading haymakers, Williams starts to fall backward, and reaches out and grabs Alt and both men tumble off the top rope and crash through the Philippino Announce Table! Neither man is moving and the referee starts the count. The fans are expecting someone to get to their feet, and it sort of appears that the referee is as well, but he makes it to ten, then looks around nervously and calls for the bell. Officials come out from the back and dig through the wreckage and check on both men.
WINNER – Double Count out in 35:32
Be sure to join us on May 30th for PHWF 8: South of the Border Slaughter, live from Zihuatanejo, Mexico