[Byrntrigan]

Oct 26, 2008 18:48:56 GMT -5 bdbdbd said:

Oct 26, 2008 18:26:11 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

Fuck, Marry, Kill

Why do I have to be gay every time?

Cause it's funnier

[Byrntrigan]

What do you think of The Boondocks?

What about The Chappelle Show?

Where do you fall on the "N word" issue?

What one black person makes you ashamed to be black?

Would we all be better off without that person?

(and since all these questions were serious) -

Where we going on our date before we fuck? ;D (BTW - I'm not a cheap date)

[bdbdbd]

Oct 26, 2008 19:31:29 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

How long have you been on crutches for?

As unbelievable as it sounds, I'm not 100% sure. At least 10 years.

Oct 26, 2008 19:31:29 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

Does that mean you can't dance? Or can you? If so, what is your favorite song to dance to?

Either way, I don't.

Oct 26, 2008 19:31:29 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

Best Treehouse of Horror story?

The Thing and I, but that whole episode is great.

Oct 26, 2008 19:31:29 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

What did you think of the Simpsons Movie?

Loved it. LOVED. I may watch it after the PPV

Oct 26, 2008 19:31:29 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

If you could be the voice of any cartoon character, who would you play? What would be your take on that character?

URL the robot cop on Futurama. I'd play him more as a lame cop than the cool 60s black cop he is, which I do love.

Oct 26, 2008 19:31:29 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

Who would you cast in a live action Captain America movie?

There's only one person American enough to be Cap, Dr. Stephen T Colbert, D.F.A.

Oct 26, 2008 19:31:29 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

What about the cast of a Question movie?

Renee, even though she's kinda light (maybe she can tan) Natalie Morales has a lot of her qualities. Vanessa Hudgens, the chick from High School Musical (which I've never seen! Honest!) copuld also work, and though she's a bit dark, Tatyana Ali (Fresh Prince) would be good too.

For Vic, man, I don't even know.

[bdbdbd]

Oct 26, 2008 19:39:42 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

What do you think of The Boondocks?

I really liked the first season, less so the second. The second is better on rewatching, though. Especially on DVD which has unaired (in the US) episodes.

Oct 26, 2008 19:39:42 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

What about The Chappelle Show?

If you didn't like Chapelle's Show you're an idiot. Plain and simple. I guess I understand why he quit, but not the way he quit. The only negative thing about Chapelle's Show was people running around quoting it like quoting it made them funny.

Oct 26, 2008 19:39:42 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

Where do you fall on the "N word" issue?

It's hurtful when you're called it in anger or malice, which I have been. I fully understand the need to "take it back", but it doesn't seem to be working because it's being overused in music and daily conversation. At the same time the idea of "funerals" for it and getting rid of it are ridiculous.

Oct 26, 2008 19:39:42 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

What one black person makes you ashamed to be black?

I try not to think of myself, or anyone, as representative of a race, geographic area, or belief system. That said, if the likes of Jesse Jackson and Farrakhan and pseudo-separatists who do everything but say "us vs them" would shut up I'd be happy. The country isn't equal, no, and we need to work to make it so, yes, but that's not the way to do it.

Oct 26, 2008 19:39:42 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

Would we all be better off without that person?

We'd be better off without a lot of people.

Oct 26, 2008 19:39:42 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

Where we going on our date before we fuck? ;D (BTW - I'm not a cheap date)

I know this quaint little Scottish place, you'll love it.

[Byrntrigan]

Oct 26, 2008 20:28:30 GMT -5 bdbdbd said:

Oct 26, 2008 19:39:42 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

What do you think of The Boondocks?

Oct 26, 2008 19:39:42 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

Where we going on our date before we fuck? ;D (BTW - I'm not a cheap date)

I know this quaint little Scottish place, you'll love it.

Wow. It sounds great!

Exalt

[The Jewish Cunthead]

I try not to think of myself, or anyone, as representative of a race, geographic area, or belief system. That said, if the likes of Jesse Jackson and Farrakhan and pseudo-separatists who do everything but say "us vs them" would shut up I'd be happy. The country isn't equal, no, and we need to work to make it so, yes, but that's not the way to do it.

EXALT... that's a great answer.

[bdbdbd]

It's been real, I started the next one

[The Jewish Cunthead]

My Klosterman questions:

1. You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear -- for the rest of your life--sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you).

Would you swallow the pill?


2. At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device of you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR.

Would you still do this?


3. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy."

Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?


4. You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes left in the film, you are struck with an undeniable feeling of doom: You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational metaphysical sense that--somewhere--your mom has just perished. But this is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling; there is no evidence for this, and your mother has not been ill.

Would you immediately exit the theater, or would you finish watching the movie?


5. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But--somehow--this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though--you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.

How much cash do you give the wizard?


6. Someone builds an optical portal that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future (it's essentially a crystal ball that shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like in twenty years). You can only see into this portal for thirty seconds. When you finally peer into the crystal, you see yourself in a living room, two decades older than you are today. You are watching a Canadian football game, and you are extremely happy. You are wearing a CFL jersey. Your chair is surrounded by books and magazines that promote the Canadian Football League, and there are CFL pennants covering your walls. You are alone in the room, but you are gleefully muttering about historical moments in Canadian football history. It becomes clear that for some unknown reason you have become obsessed with Canadian football. And this future is static and absolute; no matter what you do, this future will happen. The optical portal is never wrong. This destiny cannot be changed.

The next day, you are flipping through television channels and randomly come across a pre-season CFL game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Roughriders.

Knowing your inevitable future, do you now watch it?


7. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you've never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. Be careful of that guy, you are told. He is a man with a past. A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. Be careful of that guy, too, he says. He is a man with no past.

Which of these two people do you trust less? The man with a past or no past?


8. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don't kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can't tell them why.

Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?


9. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as brutally honest and relentlessly fair. Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it.

Which film would you be most interested in seeing?


10. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don't believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual.

Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you?

[bdbdbd]

Nov 23, 2008 22:42:50 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

My Klosterman questions:

1. You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear -- for the rest of your life--sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you).

Would you swallow the pill?

I'd take it. I remember liking Alice in Chains. If everything sounded like Man in the Box it could be like Tommy Dreamer is stalking me from back when he did stuff worth a damn.

Nov 23, 2008 22:42:50 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

2. At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device of you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR.

Would you still do this?

Neah. The dreams I have that I remember aren't worth re-watching. I'm not entirely interested in me.

Nov 23, 2008 22:42:50 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

3. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy."

Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?

I'd marry her. I think I know this person already, actually. We all have our obsessions, I can't deny them theirs if they won't deny me mine.

Nov 23, 2008 22:42:50 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

4. You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes left in the film, you are struck with an undeniable feeling of doom: You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational metaphysical sense that--somewhere--your mom has just perished. But this is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling; there is no evidence for this, and your mother has not been ill.

Would you immediately exit the theater, or would you finish watching the movie?

I'd leave. My family, even when it's just a feeling, is more important than a movie. Plus I've had those feelings and had them be right. I couldn't forgive myself if something happened, I felt it, and stayed in a movie.

Nov 23, 2008 22:42:50 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

5. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But--somehow--this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though--you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.

How much cash do you give the wizard?

IIII dunno. $50? Wizards are douches.

Nov 23, 2008 22:42:50 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

6. Someone builds an optical portal that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future (it's essentially a crystal ball that shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like in twenty years). You can only see into this portal for thirty seconds. When you finally peer into the crystal, you see yourself in a living room, two decades older than you are today. You are watching a Canadian football game, and you are extremely happy. You are wearing a CFL jersey. Your chair is surrounded by books and magazines that promote the Canadian Football League, and there are CFL pennants covering your walls. You are alone in the room, but you are gleefully muttering about historical moments in Canadian football history. It becomes clear that for some unknown reason you have become obsessed with Canadian football. And this future is static and absolute; no matter what you do, this future will happen. The optical portal is never wrong. This destiny cannot be changed.

The next day, you are flipping through television channels and randomly come across a pre-season CFL game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Roughriders.

Knowing your inevitable future, do you now watch it?

If it's always right, I may as well. But I can't see myself being happy with creepy three down football.

Nov 23, 2008 22:42:50 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

7. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you've never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. Be careful of that guy, you are told. He is a man with a past. A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. Be careful of that guy, too, he says. He is a man with no past.

Which of these two people do you trust less? The man with a past or no past?

Depends on the man with a pasts past. A man with no past could have erased anything, from killing his wife and children to being a billionaire who threw it all away to find real happiness. I'd rather be the man with no past than the man with a past.

Nov 23, 2008 22:42:50 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

8. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don't kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can't tell them why.

Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

What the hell is wrong with you?

Why is someone I call a friend sleeping on the floor? I totally have a couch.

Anyway, I must save my friend's life. Period.

Nov 23, 2008 22:42:50 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

9. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as brutally honest and relentlessly fair. Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it.

Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

I almost always prefer documentaries.

Nov 23, 2008 22:42:50 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

10. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don't believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual.

Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you?

The lie is more troubling. Especially since people believe it. They're jerks.

[Fire-Babe]

Okay, someone asked Byrne this in his spotlight, and then I asked him as well (because we all love Byrne), and then I got to wondering about the rest of y'all. So I'm poaching this one...

I'm in town for a conference, or just a visit. Where do you take me, what do we do?

[Habs]

Thanksgiving is coming up, what's going on at bd's?

[bdbdbd]

Nov 25, 2008 9:50:33 GMT -5 Fire-Babe said:

I'm in town for a conference, or just a visit. Where do you take me, what do we do?

I don't like, you know, "outside" or "doing things" so I'd be at a total loss. There's this awesome restaurant called...uh...Applebees or something,

Nov 25, 2008 16:18:03 GMT -5 Habs said:

Thanksgiving is coming up, what's going on at bd's?

Same thing that goes on ever day, only with turkey and pie at the end.

[salmonjunkie]

Here is the scenario:

For some fucked up reason we are at a renaissance faire and we run into each other there. We also run into Courtney dressed all wench-like. She said that she will absolutely go to bed with one of us there but only one of us. To determine the lucky winner, you and I have to duel. To the death. We get to wear armor and use medieval-era weaponry. What weapon do you choose to do battle with me?

[bdbdbd]

I am 100% lover, not fighter (read: giant pussy). Not to offend the lovely Courtney, but I'd have to back out.

[salmonjunkie]

What are your 3 favorite Christmas songs?

What is your favorite Christmas movie?

What is your favorite children's TV christmas special

Who would win in a fight? Jesus or Santa Claus?

[Byrntrigan]

Regarding Guitar Hero / Rock band:

A. What is your all-time favorite song to play in these games? Why?
B. What is your least favorite? Why?
C. One song you suck at no matter what?
D. What got you hooked on playing it?
E. What level are you at in playing it?

[bdbdbd]

Dec 24, 2008 0:59:00 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

What are your 3 favorite Christmas songs?

I hate Christmas music. Hate it.

Dec 24, 2008 0:59:00 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

What is your favorite Christmas movie?

It's A Wonderful Life, which is on right now, but only because I consider A Christmas Story to be perfectly suitable year-round while I only get the itch to watch Wonderful Life in December.

Dec 24, 2008 0:59:00 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

What is your favorite children's TV christmas special

A Charlie Brown Christmas or Rudolph or Year Without a Santa Claus. Or Grinch. I likes 'em animated.

Dec 24, 2008 0:59:00 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

Who would win in a fight? Jesus or Santa Claus?

ALLAH! PRAISE OBAM...er...
Santa with outside interference from his stablemates Frosty, Rudolph, and Jack Frost

[bdbdbd]

Dec 24, 2008 15:36:31 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

Regarding Guitar Hero / Rock band:

I can not answer on account of liking my games to be games not scored air guitar.

[punk/core]

You know-- thank God this never happened to me because I would have poked my eyes out like Oedipus-- but were you ever unfortunate enough to walk in on your parents having sex?

[bdbdbd]

Walk in, no. Hear? More than once. Disturbing.

[Andy]

If Omar Little wants to fuck you, you pretty much have to, right?

[Byrntrigan]

A. Do you like game shows?
135. What is your favorite?
12.5. What 1 PH'er could/should be a game show host? What game?

[salmonjunkie]

Do you do karaoke?

If so, what are your staples/favorites?

If not, why the hell not?

[bdbdbd]

Dec 27, 2008 18:40:05 GMT -5 Andy said:

If Omar Little wants to fuck you, you pretty much have to, right?

Have to and then tell him it was an honor.

Dec 28, 2008 14:47:08 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

A. Do you like game shows?

I don't hate game shows

Dec 28, 2008 14:47:08 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

135. What is your favorite?

I loved Push Your Luck, reruns came on right when I got home from school. That Nickelodeon show where kids went "in" a video game at the end. Let's Make a Deal and The Price is Right are classics. I also liked Win Ben Stein's Money before it was cool!

Dec 28, 2008 14:47:08 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

12.5. What 1 PH'er could/should be a game show host? What game?

I'd like to see a game hosted by Fire.

Dec 29, 2008 2:29:56 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

Do you do karaoke?

If so, what are your staples/favorites?

No. No I do not.

Dec 29, 2008 2:29:56 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

If not, why the hell not?

I don't drink, that may have something to do with it.

[Fire-Babe]

Dec 29, 2008 9:53:48 GMT -5 bdbdbd said:

I'd like to see a game hosted by Fire.

Really? Okay, what kind of game show would it be?