In the midst of a self-imposed celibacy and its working out well for me.
Where do you work/what do you do for a living?
I drive a bus for the goldmines in Winnemucca, NV. I cheat death every day on horrendous mine roads. Its a good time.
How old were you when you lost your virginity? How did it happen?
I was 19, she was 18. It was at my friend's mom's house I was housesitting for. My girlfriend came over and I fucked her on the couch. Not really an interesting story.
That chick ended up being a lying rotten cheater and started the shit-spiral of distrust that's compounded and ended up with me being the angry misogynist I am today.
Thunderdome time (two man enter, one man leave):
The Professor (Gilligan's Island) vs. MacGyver
MacGuyver. Professor is worthless. He can make a radio out of a coconut but he can't fix a hole in a boat, am I right people!? And what's the deal with airline food!?
B.A. Baracus vs. Clubber Lang
B.A. has guns so I'll go with B.A.
Jesus vs. Santa
Wizards beat pedophiles. Jesus.
Harry Crumb vs. Fletch
Fletch F. Fletch. One of the most quotable movies ever. You usin' the whole fist there, Doc?
DVD's- Reservoir Dogs Goodfellas Fight Club The Big Lebowski American Gangster Team America: World Police Eddie Izzard- Definite Article Eddie Izzard- Glorious Eddie Izzard- Dress To Kill Jim Norton- Monster Rain
CD's Fear Factory- Demanufacture Behemoth- Demigod Lamb Of God- New American Gospel Lamb Of God- Ashes Of The Wake Pantera- Cowboys From Hell Pantera- The Great Southern Trendkill DevilDriver- The Fury Of Our Maker's Hand Mastodon- Blood Mountain Jim Norton- Yellow Discipline Patton Oswalt- Werewolves and Lollipops
Why did you move to Nevada? How close are you to Vegas?
I was closer before. 400 miles from Fresno to Vegas and its, like, 500 miles from here.
I got laid off and lost my apartment in Fresno and wasn't finding work. Or as the say in the local language no trabajo, amigo. My buddy I grew up with in the little farm community of Madera Ranchos, CA just north of Fresno, and has been my buddy for 15 years moved out to Winnemucca a year ago and told me to check it out. So I did check it out and I like this town and the money is plentiful and good. Bit of a culture shock to go from half a million people to 8,000, but its a cool little town. Plus Nevada > California in so many ways. 24 hour drinking, gambling, firearms and 16 year old age of consent. God bless Nevada.
Why haven't more people seen Murderball?
No fucking clue, but they're missing the fuck out. This is a true story from a Blockbuster a week ago.
Me- Dude, have you seen Murderball? My Friend- No. Is it good? Me- Its fantastic! My Friend (looking at the box)- Is it like a comedy or a drama? Me- Its a documentary. My Friend- Oh. (puts it back on the shelf)
Don't you have another failed metal band to start?[/Jeb]
Don't you have another job to get fired from, you alcoholic?
(Is he at your house? Why can't he log in and type himself?)
Recast Reservoir Dogs... please.
I'm assuming you meant with PHers.
Orange- Mike Pink- Solly White- Tommy Blonde- Punker Blue- Outback Brown- Thai Joe- AA Nice Guy Eddie- Me
Post by salmonjunkie on Dec 1, 2008 13:25:33 GMT -5
Mr. Brown? That's a little too close to Mr. Shit.
BTW, thanks for casting me as Quentin. I get told pretty often I resemble an asian Quentin Tarantino, especially when I talk. I don't find that as a complement, but I know why I get it, so what the hey.
Who is your favorite wrestler?
If you were a wrestler, what would be your finishing move? Your pose? Your ring name?
If you could be any kind of pro athlete, what would you be, what would be your position, and what would be your number?
Your favorite sporting moment?
Your least favorite sporting moment?
Last Edit: Dec 1, 2008 13:26:06 GMT -5 by salmonjunkie
B. If so, what are your favorites to cook? To eat?
187. What's the weirdest thing you have ever eaten on sushi? Did you like it?
188. Weirdest thing you ever ate period? Did you like it?
138. What is one food that you would evangelize that most people haven't tried but should?
It would amuse me if next year Byrne did a women's fed or Texas fed. I'd just like to see how he tries to make it a dark, demonic, ECW homage led by James Mitchell or Raven. -- Lucky, 2009
see. i told you byrne was the way to go here. like i said, he's a big dork. -- Ziggy, 2009
BTW, thanks for casting me as Quentin. I get told pretty often I resemble an asian Quentin Tarantino, especially when I talk. I don't find that as a complement, but I know why I get it, so what the hey.
I could just envision you doing the Madonna speech more than anyone else.
Who is your favorite wrestler?
Of all time? Mick Foley.
If you were a wrestler, what would be your finishing move? Your pose? Your ring name?
I still have one move I invented that hasn;t been stolen from me. Brock Lesnar stole the F5 from me then Chris Sabin showed up and stole the cradle shock. Dicks. My right-shoulder powerbowb into a swinging neckbreaker thing hasn't been used yet.
The last ring name I used in the backyard trampoline league I had as a kid was "The Big Dumb Asshole" Andrew Eeyore. I could stick with that.
If you could be any kind of pro athlete, what would you be, what would be your position, and what would be your number?
I'd love to play football. Problem is I destroyed my knee my Freshman year. I'd like to be number 42 so, let's see what position would that make me? A runningback, right? I could do that. A big giant powerback like the Bus.
Your favorite sporting moment?
Recently? SD beating Indy to get to the AFC Championship.
Your least favorite sporting moment?
Losing the AFC Championship to one of my least favorite teams on the planet.
I was 19, she was 18. It was at my friend's mom's house I was housesitting for. My girlfriend came over and I fucked her on the couch. Not really an interesting story.
That chick ended up being a lying rotten cheater and started the shit-spiral of distrust that's compounded and ended up with me being the angry misogynist I am today.
That'swhy you need to loose your virginity in the back seat off a car
How long were you with that chick?
Star wars or Star Trek?
Kirk or Picard?
Yoda or Windu?
Coke or Pepsi?
Irish Wiskey or Scotch?
Ale or Lager?
Is your job a little like the scene from Temple of Doom in the mine?
What's the best part of having sex with a 9-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair back and she looks just like a 9-year-old boy.
Any magazine subscriptions? Which ones?
Nope. I have the internet. I am a regular subscriber to the internet.
Someone offers to buy you any one THING, no matter the cost. What do you ask them to buy you, and why?
A functioning lightsaber? Not because I'm a Star Wars nerd or anything, but I think I could really fuck some shit up with that.
Unless you meant real things that exist, in which case, I'd like my own island. And I'd really dig kicking back on an island getting hammered with my friends forever. Oh, and the island has to be covered in pot so my friends will actually come over and I can sell it for some revenue.
42. What movie character best describes you? 43. What movie character would you WANT to be? Why? 44. Do you judge a "book" by it's cover? 45. Is it something if you do, that you try not to do? 46. What is your favorite condiment? What do you use it on?
It would amuse me if next year Byrne did a women's fed or Texas fed. I'd just like to see how he tries to make it a dark, demonic, ECW homage led by James Mitchell or Raven. -- Lucky, 2009
see. i told you byrne was the way to go here. like i said, he's a big dork. -- Ziggy, 2009
Okay seriously...I think I can relate to The Dude more than anyone else. I'm just trying to hang out and all this shit keeps happening around me. But The Dude abides.
43. What movie character would you WANT to be? Why?
Anyone with kickass superpowers. Wolverine? Superman? God? Whatever.
44. Do you judge a "book" by it's cover?
Of course. "That's why books have them. If there's a girl on the cover with a cock in her mouth, its porn. If the girl is 15 and the cock is black its great porn." - Jim Norton
45. Is it something if you do, that you try not to do?
No. I can usually get a read on a person based on their 'cover.' I'm always welcome to be surprised though. I love being proved wrong about a prejudgment, but I'm usually not.
46. What is your favorite condiment? What do you use it on?
Tapatio. Everything. Its the greatest condiment of all time.
What's the best part of having sex with a 9-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair back and she looks just like a 9-year-old boy.
Here's a good one in return for you:
A guy is having sex with his girlfriend, and decides it's about time for him to break in her ass. So he switches holes without missing a stroke. She doesn't object, so he continues until they finish.
After sex, the guy's girlfriend looks at him and says:
"Don't you think it was presumptuous of you to start having anal sex with me?"
"Presumptuous. That's an awfully big word for a second grader."