Why didn't you ever end up doing that MMF threesome?
Because I could live with the possibility of my balls touching someone else's balls. I'd have to kill him, her and myself. No one would get out of that room alive.
Can I punch Misty in the face if I ever see her?
Of course not. What she deserves is psychological damage. If you see her, you should date her for two years and destroy her emotions and leave her a quivering heap on the floor. That'd show 'er.
A guy is having sex with his girlfriend, and decides it's about time for him to break in her ass. So he switches holes without missing a stroke. She doesn't object, so he continues until they finish.
After sex, the guy's girlfriend looks at him and says:
"Don't you think it was presumptuous of you to start having anal sex with me?"
"Presumptuous. That's an awfully big word for a second grader."
What's black, blue and hates sex?
The 10-year-old in my trunk.
How do you keep your neighbors kids off your lawn?
None. Didn't I mention my self-imposed celibacy? I'm starting to realize that I don't have the patience right now. I get sick of bitches way to fucking fast and I don't have the effort and I don't fucking care enough. Oddly enough, my "I don't give a fuck" attitude is drawing chicks to me for some reason. But I hate them so I can usually drive them off.
So, I think this is the first person I can say that I am kind of afraid of the answers
Weekend at Firewoman's Basement:
1. Dom/Sub/Switch (and don't let Demko tell you what to do! Unless, of course, you want to). 2. Handcuffs: fur lined, satin lined, bare 3. floggers: suede, leather, or vinyl (thanks Demko) 4. Safe word?
[DevSop] god your sex life scares me
[SeamusMcNasty] And that is why I hate the Miz. He's got potential, but he just doesn't live up to it. Unlike Randy Orton, who has no potential and lives right up to that.
MHJ: "if it is kinky, depraved, erotic, or a fetish, you will find it"
Cyclops698 "I'm 100% committed to our fake marriage"
So, I think this is the first person I can say that I am kind of afraid of the answers
Really? I'm not that scary.
Weekend at Firewoman's Basement:
1. Dom/Sub/Switch (and don't let Demko tell you what to do! Unless, of course, you want to).
Dom. I fucking hate when women try to dominate a sexual situation. I've been with dominant women before and its annoying. Although, I wouldn't do the full-on S&M thing because...well, because I can get boners without leather pants.
2. Handcuffs: fur lined, satin lined, bare
Bare. Shit, if I'm breaking out the cuffs, I wanna leave marks.
3. floggers: suede, leather, or vinyl (thanks Demko)
36. Do you have/tried any sexual festishes? 37. What's the weidest place you have had sex? 38. Has there been anything sexual that a partner has asked you to do, and you refused? Why?
It would amuse me if next year Byrne did a women's fed or Texas fed. I'd just like to see how he tries to make it a dark, demonic, ECW homage led by James Mitchell or Raven. -- Lucky, 2009
see. i told you byrne was the way to go here. like i said, he's a big dork. -- Ziggy, 2009
I've had a bad year women-wise. The aforementioned Misty was a waste of two years and I've found out is now engaged to the guy I always suspected that she had on the side. Plus I found out that after 30 years of marriage my mother has been cheating on my father. So I'm really distrustful of the ladies. I'm not saying I'm done with women, but I really just can't deal with them right now.
I've had a bad year women-wise. The aforementioned Misty was a waste of two years and I've found out is now engaged to the guy I always suspected that she had on the side. Plus I found out that after 30 years of marriage my mother has been cheating on my father. So I'm really distrustful of the ladies. I'm not saying I'm done with women, but I really just can't deal with them right now.
Hey, there's a lot to be said for retaliatory sex.
Of course. Now, what's weird to some, may not be to others. But hey, if a gal is a gamer and tosses a finger in an unexpected place during a blowjob, what am I gonna say, no?
37. What's the weidest place you have had sex?
Bed of a pick-up truck at a drive-in theater? Or maybe the roof of my parents' house. Went up there to watch a meteor shower and ended up getting laid.
No. I wasn't fucking my parents. Before any of you even start.
38. Has there been anything sexual that a partner has asked you to do, and you refused? Why?
Yeah. Snowball. I'm not down for a mouthful of my own seed. Nothing against anyone else who does, I never judge anyone for sexual stuff, but I can't lovingly take a load into my own mouth.
Like, hell, I wouldn't call you gay if a chick took a strap-on to ya. But I wouldn't. Mostly because they have yet to design a strap-on the width of a thermometer.
How would you fix the Chargers? Would have you kept Brees over Rivers?
In retrospect? Probably not, but I have no problem with Rivers. And at the time, it was the choice of a promising young talent vs a busted-arm guy who never got it done. So I have no problem with the decision.
How would I fix the Chargers? I gotta go with coaching. SD has the talent to draw in a great coach if they want. Maybe see if Bill Cowher would come or I think it'd be interesting to see if Pete Carroll would want to try the NFL game in SD. I know he doesn't want to leave socal and SD would be a sweet opprotunity. Also, give the fucking ball to Darren Sproles.
I've had a bad year women-wise. The aforementioned Misty was a waste of two years and I've found out is now engaged to the guy I always suspected that she had on the side. Plus I found out that after 30 years of marriage my mother has been cheating on my father. So I'm really distrustful of the ladies. I'm not saying I'm done with women, but I really just can't deal with them right now.
Hey, there's a lot to be said for retaliatory sex.
How would you fix the Chargers? Would have you kept Brees over Rivers?
In retrospect? Probably not, but I have no problem with Rivers. And at the time, it was the choice of a promising young talent vs a busted-arm guy who never got it done. So I have no problem with the decision.
How would I fix the Chargers? I gotta go with coaching. SD has the talent to draw in a great coach if they want. Maybe see if Bill Cowher would come or I think it'd be interesting to see if Pete Carroll would want to try the NFL game in SD. I know he doesn't want to leave socal and SD would be a sweet opprotunity. Also, give the fucking ball to Darren Sproles.
You realize that Norv Turner is a better NFL Head Coach than Pete Carroll, don't you?
Or do what THE Demko did after he got fucked over - fuck anything with two tits, a hole, and a heartbeat.
Oh believe me, I'd love to. But I really don't have the patience. Or the bullshit. I've gotten brutally honest and it takes a level of bullshit that I can't deliver at the moment.
There we go. Emu. Fucking Emu. Everyone should eat this stuff.
Emu IS fucking good, and I can't believe I forgot to mention this when I answered this question. I also didn't mention I've tried alligator (good) and kangaroo (meh) as well.
Back to you...
Do you have any diseases/ailments?
Describe the hottest girl you've been with.
Describe the ugliest girl you've been with.
Tell us a fun story about your job as a stripper driver.
Do you own a digital camera?
If so, what is your favorite photo that you've taken with it? Post it.
Last Edit: Dec 1, 2008 15:56:13 GMT -5 by salmonjunkie
You realize that Norv Turner is a better NFL Head Coach than Pete Carroll, don't you?
I said it would be interesting. And all you need to know about Norv is what a fucking pussy he had SD play like against the Patriots. For fuck's sake, you play completely with your balls outside of your pants against Indy then play Martyball against the best fucking team in the game last year.
A guy is having sex with his girlfriend, and decides it's about time for him to break in her ass. So he switches holes without missing a stroke. She doesn't object, so he continues until they finish.
After sex, the guy's girlfriend looks at him and says:
"Don't you think it was presumptuous of you to start having anal sex with me?"
"Presumptuous. That's an awfully big word for a second grader."
What's black, blue and hates sex?
The 10-year-old in my trunk.
How do you keep your neighbors kids off your lawn?
Molest them.
What's the difference between me and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty four year olds?