Shane McMahon presents...ECW
Jul 2, 2009 15:26:58 GMT -5
Post by Mr. Dashbee on Jul 2, 2009 15:26:58 GMT -5
Scene: The Arena, Philadelphia, PA
The crowd is buzzing with anticipation, as Shane McMahon hasn’t made a live draft pick in quite some time. Also, there are terms of the contract for the Extreme Enhancement main event that haven’t been released, so they’re hoping for some clarification tonight.
Shane McMahon hits the ring to a less than warm reception from the arena crowd.
Crowd: “Fuck you Shane! Fuck you Shane! Fuck you Shane! Fuck you Shane!”
Shane McMahon: You know what? I’ve missed that. I’ve missed being in this building, and I’ve missed taking a giant shit on the legacy that is ECW! And boy-oh-boy to I have a great one for you. He’s a reality TV star, he’s a trained professional wrestler, and he’s probably made more money modeling underwear than each one of you combined. Ladies and gentlemen, he’s--
Paul Heyman is on the stage!
Paul Heyman: Shane! Shane! Not so fast, Shane! You see, as part of the contract we signed for Extreme Enhancement, there are terms these people don’t know about. Like how if “The Heart of Extreme” wins, Shane, I get ECW back. Not your ECW, not your father’s ECW, but MY ECW…Extreme…Championship…Wrestling! And you and all of the “talent” you drafted has to come along for the ride!
Crowd: “E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub!”
Paul Heyman: And Shane, you’re eligible as a wrestler. Just remember that. But there is one more thing you’ve neglected to share, Shane. I still get one more draft pick--
Shane McMahon: But I’m making the pick, Paul! I’m making it right now! He’s behind the curtain…you probably walked passed him!
Paul Heyman: I did, and yes, he’s impressive. He’ll need to wait, Shane! I hope he doesn’t get “snaked,” Shane, because I’d feel really bad about that!
Crowd: “Un-cle Paul! Un-cle Paul! Un-cle Paul! Un-cle Paul! ”
Shane McMahon: Dammit Paul! I’m Shane Fucking McMahon!
Paul Heyman: And I’m Paul Fucking Heyman! And I’ve already made the pick official with the PWA Office, something you always do after you pick, Shane. And I’m ready to bring her out. A her you know very well. A her who probably knows you better than you know yourself.
Shane McMahon: Heyman, you idiot, my mother’s already been drafted!
Paul Heyman: No, not your mother, Shane. The one woman who you’ve spent many years--and many dollars--keeping away from this business. And you obviously failed Shane, because here she comes. MY next pick Shane? YOUR WIFE!
919. Marissa Mazzola-McMahon
Paul Heyman: Look Shane, here she is? Look at the photos that I have, too. Here she is her wonderful husband…hey, that’s you, Shane!
Paul Heyman: Oh, and here she is…with your father!
Crowd: “Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut!”
Paul Heyman: I’m sure he’s someone men would love to trust with their wives! And she was so cute when she cohosted Live Wire!
Paul Heyman: Too bad you’ve gone and put her in harms way, Shane! The one thing you always promised her you’d never do! Sure, she’s not eligible to wrestle, but she’ll be here, and I really hope she doesn’t eat an errant chair shot, Shane!
Shane McMahon: Heyman, you’ll pay for this! Right now!
Shane starts to run up the ramp at Heyman.
Paul Heyman: Shane! You almost forgot another line in the contract. Until Extreme Enhancement, we can’t touch each other. Remember? I can’t send my guys after you, and you can’t do it to me. Enjoy the rest of your night, Shane.
The crowd is buzzing with anticipation, as Shane McMahon hasn’t made a live draft pick in quite some time. Also, there are terms of the contract for the Extreme Enhancement main event that haven’t been released, so they’re hoping for some clarification tonight.
Shane McMahon hits the ring to a less than warm reception from the arena crowd.
Crowd: “Fuck you Shane! Fuck you Shane! Fuck you Shane! Fuck you Shane!”
Shane McMahon: You know what? I’ve missed that. I’ve missed being in this building, and I’ve missed taking a giant shit on the legacy that is ECW! And boy-oh-boy to I have a great one for you. He’s a reality TV star, he’s a trained professional wrestler, and he’s probably made more money modeling underwear than each one of you combined. Ladies and gentlemen, he’s--
Paul Heyman is on the stage!
Paul Heyman: Shane! Shane! Not so fast, Shane! You see, as part of the contract we signed for Extreme Enhancement, there are terms these people don’t know about. Like how if “The Heart of Extreme” wins, Shane, I get ECW back. Not your ECW, not your father’s ECW, but MY ECW…Extreme…Championship…Wrestling! And you and all of the “talent” you drafted has to come along for the ride!
Crowd: “E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub!”
Paul Heyman: And Shane, you’re eligible as a wrestler. Just remember that. But there is one more thing you’ve neglected to share, Shane. I still get one more draft pick--
Shane McMahon: But I’m making the pick, Paul! I’m making it right now! He’s behind the curtain…you probably walked passed him!
Paul Heyman: I did, and yes, he’s impressive. He’ll need to wait, Shane! I hope he doesn’t get “snaked,” Shane, because I’d feel really bad about that!
Crowd: “Un-cle Paul! Un-cle Paul! Un-cle Paul! Un-cle Paul! ”
Shane McMahon: Dammit Paul! I’m Shane Fucking McMahon!
Paul Heyman: And I’m Paul Fucking Heyman! And I’ve already made the pick official with the PWA Office, something you always do after you pick, Shane. And I’m ready to bring her out. A her you know very well. A her who probably knows you better than you know yourself.
Shane McMahon: Heyman, you idiot, my mother’s already been drafted!
Paul Heyman: No, not your mother, Shane. The one woman who you’ve spent many years--and many dollars--keeping away from this business. And you obviously failed Shane, because here she comes. MY next pick Shane? YOUR WIFE!
919. Marissa Mazzola-McMahon
Paul Heyman: Look Shane, here she is? Look at the photos that I have, too. Here she is her wonderful husband…hey, that’s you, Shane!
Paul Heyman: Oh, and here she is…with your father!
Crowd: “Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut!”
Paul Heyman: I’m sure he’s someone men would love to trust with their wives! And she was so cute when she cohosted Live Wire!
Paul Heyman: Too bad you’ve gone and put her in harms way, Shane! The one thing you always promised her you’d never do! Sure, she’s not eligible to wrestle, but she’ll be here, and I really hope she doesn’t eat an errant chair shot, Shane!
Shane McMahon: Heyman, you’ll pay for this! Right now!
Shane starts to run up the ramp at Heyman.
Paul Heyman: Shane! You almost forgot another line in the contract. Until Extreme Enhancement, we can’t touch each other. Remember? I can’t send my guys after you, and you can’t do it to me. Enjoy the rest of your night, Shane.