[williamssl]

We were at Hooters this evening for our annual Christmas pic, and Jefferson Starship's "We Built This City on Rock and Roll" came on their stereo system. Oh My God. That was, and remains, an awful song that never should have been made in the first place. Ever.

Which got me to thinking...what are some other songs that just never should have been made? By this, I'm not talking Rico Suave or the like - while horrible, there's a kitsch factor to it.

[Courtney]

Haha, I read the title of the thread and "We Built This City" automatically popped into my head. I think that is hands-down The Worst Song Ever.

Are we including covers in this? Because if so, I could go on forever. Britney Spears and Paris Hilton did some AWFUL covers. Oh and the William Hung version of "She Bangs." Ahhhhhh, I swear if I ever hear that again...

Non-covers:

Phil Collins-- "Sussudio"
Anything Creed
Will Smith- "Will 2K"
Chicago-- "You're the Inspiration"

Oh wait, I just thought of an even worse song that "We Built This City":

"You Light Up My Life" by Debbie Fuckin' Boone.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

williamssl said:

We were at Hooters this evening for our annual Christmas pic

But it's Thanksgiving, even the Joo knows that. I know I said it before, but that still makes you the coolest dad ever. Your son will thank you for it, hell I'M thanking you for it.

How about anything by Rick Astley?

[williamssl]

Must take early Hooters pic if said pic is going to be on the Christmas cards that go to those on the card-list that would find that entertaining. Hence the early timeline. That being said, Hooters did not have up their Christmas tree yet - so yes we were early by Hooters standards (or they were late).

We'll let this thread be the determining factor on whether Outback really does like Michael Bolton or he just likes to quote Office Space too much. So Outback - gonna tee anything up here?

[salmonjunkie]

"We Built This City" is #1 in Blender's 100 worst songs of all time.

www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?id=786

I don't agree with all of them, but it's a fun read.

Onesong I agree with for sure: "Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel. Yick!

[Batman]

I gotta say I find most of the songs folks have listed to be not great, but really pretty inoffensive. But I think you all know I'm not that hard to please aesthetically. I like a lot of stuff. I'll agree on the Debbie Boone song anyways.

I think the song I hate most has to be "War is Hell on the Homefront, Too." You all might not be familiar with it. It's a lot like Garth Brooks's "That Summer (Burnin' Both Ends of the Night)" in that it's about a young man losing his virginity to an older woman. Except in Sheppard's song, the woman is not a widow. No, her husband is off fighting a war, which is why she says: "War is hell on the homefront, too. God only knows what a woman goes though. She still needs what a man that's gone can't do."

Just the god-damned tackiest lyrics ever written (though Sheppard seemed to be trying to top himself throughout his career.)

[BTR]

"Celebration" by Kool and the Gang. I almost root for sports teams to tie so I don't have to hear this.

[williamssl]

Ugh. Celebration was one of many on the "do not fucking play this song no matter who requests it or how much money they offer you" list my wife and I gave the DJ at our wedding.

[salmonjunkie]

Every time a friend of mine gets married, I request that he makes sure the DJ not play Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It". It was fun the first time I heard it at a wedding, but EVERY FUCKING WEDDING DJ plays this song and I now hate hate hate it.

I gotta say I find most of the songs folks have listed to be not great, but really pretty inoffensive. But I think you all know I'm not that hard to please aesthetically.

I hope "I Built This City" isn't inoffensive to you. Not only is it grating to the ears and completely annoying, they hook is "We built this city off rock n roll" but the song is synthy crap pop rock. Yuck.


Here's another song I can't stand. "Walls come tumbling down" by John Cougar Mellencamp. Whenever I hear it on the radio station, I change the station. However, the song stays in my head. And I hate it.

[salmonjunkie]

salmonjunkie said:

Every time a friend of mine gets married, I request that he makes sure the DJ not play Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It". It was fun the first time I heard it at a wedding, but EVERY FUCKING WEDDING DJ plays this song and I now hate hate hate it.

I gotta say I find most of the songs folks have listed to be not great, but really pretty inoffensive. But I think you all know I'm not that hard to please aesthetically.

I hope "I Built This City" isn't inoffensive to you. Not only is it grating to the ears and completely annoying, they hook is "We built this city off rock n roll" but the song is synthy crap pop rock. Yuck. Even Grace Slick hates the damn song.


Here's another song I can't stand. "Walls come tumbling down" by John Cougar Mellencamp. Whenever I hear it on the radio station, I change the station. However, the song stays in my head. And I hate it.

[williamssl]

salmonjunkie said:

Every time a friend of mine gets married, I request that he makes sure the DJ not play...

You have a friend that gets married that frequently? Mormon/polygamist, or major divorcee?

[Batman]

salmonjunkie said:

I hope "I Built This City" isn't inoffensive to you. Not only is it grating to the ears and completely annoying, they hook is "We built this city off rock n roll" but the song is synthy crap pop rock. Yuck.

That's the one I was primarily referring to. I love synthy pop rock. I like "Sarah" better, but "We Built This City" is all right.

"Sarah. Sarah. No time is a good time for goodbye."

Even Grace Slick hates the damn song.

Of course she does. She's a hippy and terribly ashamed she "sold out" by participating in Starship. Spend your money and shut up, lady.

Here's another song I can't stand.

Yup. Johnny Cougar, Phil Collins, Simon & Garfunkel, Kool & the Gang... I definitely don't have a ton of common ground with you all on this topic. Oh well, I'll go back to talking about comic books now.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

salmonjunkie said:

Here's another song I can't stand. "Walls come tumbling down" by John Cougar Mellencamp. Whenever I hear it on the radio station, I change the station. However, the song stays in my head. And I hate it.

This is for you Thai.

Some people ain't no damn good

You can't trust 'em

You can't love em

No good deed goes unpunished

And I don't mind being their whipping boy

I've had that pleasure

For years and years

No, no I never was a sinner

Tell me what else can I do

Second best is what you get

'Til you learn to bend the rules

Time respects no person

And when you lift up must fall

They're waiting outside

To claim my crumblin' walls



Saw my picture in the paper

Read the news around my face

And now some people

Don't want to treat me the same



When the walls

Come tumblin' down

When the walls

Come crumblin', crumblin'

When the walls

Come tumblin', tumblin'

Down

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah



Some people say I'm obnoxious and lazy

That I'm uneducated

And my opinion means nothin'

But I know I'm a real good dancer

Don't need to look over my shoulder

To see what I'm after

Everybody's got their problems

Ain't no new news here

I'm the same old trouble

You've been having for years

Don't confuse the problem

With the issue, girl

It's perfectly clear

Just a human desire

To have you come near

Want to put my arms around you

Feel your breath in my ear

You can bend me

You can break me

But you better stand clear



When the walls

Come tumblin' down

When the walls

Come crumblin', crumblin'

When the walls

Come tumblin', tumblin'

Crumblin', tumblin'

Down



When the walls

Come (tumblin' down)

When the walls

Come (rumblin', rumblin')

When the walls

(When the walls)

Come tumblin', tumblin'

Down



Want to put my arms around you

Feel your breath in my ear

You can bend me

You can break me

But you better stand clear



When the walls

Come tumblin' down

When the walls

Come crumblin', crumblin'

When the walls

Come tumblin', tumblin'

Crumblin', tumblin'



When the walls

(When the walls)

Come tumblin' down

When the walls

(When the walls)

Come crumblin', crumblin'

When the walls

Come tumblin', tumblin'

Crumblin', tumblin'



When the walls

(When the walls)

Come tumblin' down

When the walls

Come crumblin', crumblin'

When the walls

Come tumblin', tumblin'

Crumblin', tumblin'

Down

[Courtney]

Did you really feel that was necessary? SMITE!

[Batman]

Ha! Exalt!

[Batman]

But, for you Solly:

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

[National Champion Chris Cole]

Hollaback Girl. That is the worst song in recorded history and makes me cringe even when I hear No Doubt to this day. And I like No Doubt damn it!

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

williamssl said:

Must take early Hooters pic if said pic is going to be on the Christmas cards that go to those on the card-list that would find that entertaining. Hence the early timeline. That being said, Hooters did not have up their Christmas tree yet - so yes we were early by Hooters standards (or they were late).

We'll let this thread be the determining factor on whether Outback really does like Michael Bolton or he just likes to quote Office Space too much. So Outback - gonna tee anything up here?

Actually I categorize Michael Bolton as elevator music - don't like it but I can tune it out. I truly hate You Light Up My Life, in part because when that song came out my parents used to bring me to this restaurant about once a week where it was playing on the jukebox every 5 minutes. I used to hate a song Donny and Marie used to sing when I was a kid (about how Marie was a little bit country and Donny was a little bit rock and roll), but if I heard it now I'd laugh.

Separately, I'd place a 5 year ban on playing Macarena or Electric Slide at weddings and parties.

[Batman]

I like most Gwen Stefani and most Pharell Williams. I wouldn't say "Hollaback Girl" is terrible so much as...odd. I don't hate it, but I can't understand for the life of me how it captured a mass audience.

Now "Rich Girl," that one was awful.

[The Canadian Content]

Anything Patsy Cline for me. My mother used to blare that shit on Saturday mornings while I was trying to sleep off hangovers. Automatic headache to this day.

[Batman]

Oh, die.

[salmonjunkie]

I hate you, Sol.

Oh, Sergei - I like Phil Collins, but even I hate Sussido. And I like "Jack and Diane" and "Pink Houses", but I hate hate hate "Walls".


Another song I hate, but thankfully I never hear:
"Get Out Of My Car, Get Into My Dreams" by Billy Ocean.

Dynamite Hack's cover of "Boyz N The Hood". It was fun at first, because it was just a cute joke, but the big rock station here in LA decided it'd be fun to play it a lot. The joike isn't funny anymore. And 6 years later, they still play it at least once every few months. And I truly hate them for it.

I also hate Sheryl Crow's take on "Sweet Child O' Mine". Blah.


Oooh, this gives me an idea for a new thread...