[Chris Eco]

www.oowrestling.com/OOForums/viewthread.php?tid=23834&page=3#pid381130

[Deleted]

Looks like it might be time for GatorBait to come out of retirement.

But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know...

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Time for SYB to turn on the Bacon Signal to find somebody...

[Deleted]

Mr. Madness may be coming along for the ride, too. Can we put our differences aside for a proper invasion, Luchador Azul?!?

[Mikey]

Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are too old for this shit.

[Habs]

So what's this? We play wrestlers for fun with outrageous promos and silly names?

[The Canadian Content]

Nov 24, 2010 13:33:49 GMT -5 Habs said:

So what's this? We play wrestlers for fun with outrageous promos and silly names?

From what I understand, it's like OOWF, but not as serious. Eco or someone else who knows what they're talking about might want to post a few words of explanation here to clarify whether it's OOWF-lite, or affiliated with OOWF in any way, or a completely new and independent promotion, or intended purely for silliness, or anything else that might help out both those who are and aren't familiar with fantasy wrestling in general and OOWF in particular.

Or not. I'll likely post some shit no matter what.

[Habs]

That would be cool to know indeed. I'm more than willing to post stupid shit once in a while (I usually do) for a laugh or two, but if it's semi serious I don't want to screw everything up (I usually do). I'll likely bitch on ducks (I usually do) swear in French (I usually do) and mix up loose and lose, then and than, their and they're and there (I usually do). Come to think of it, it wouldn't have much impact on what I usually do around here.

[Chris Eco]

"OOWF but not as serious" is a pretty good description. So is "intended just for silliness." It was started by Andy and died pretty quick.

It's silly promos (what people post in between "shows" going up) and silly matches (which anyone can write).

Here's a bit of an OOWF match:

LD pulls Folz to his feet and tries to pull him to the former Five corner, LD reaches out and tags Stank, but Folz pulls away from LD and backs to the middle of the ring and tags in Moore. Moore and Stank slowly circle and lock up, Moore grabs Stank’s arm and wrings it and catches him with a kick to the ribs that drops him to one knee. Moore then let’s go of the arm and catches him with a kick to the back of the head sending the big man to the mat. Moore rolls Stank over and covers, but only gets a one count. Moore pulls Stank to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a flying forearm to the face that sends the big man reeling back to the corner. Moore gets to his feet and charges into the corner, but Stank explodes out of the corner and nearly takes his head off with a clothesline.

Here's a bit of a PHWF match:


Capslock enters with a serious look on his face and stands stoicly in the corner. Moosehead Jack comes into the ring with a smirk on his face. The bell rings, Capslock draws a Smith & Wesson .44 caliber sidearm out of his pocket and fires into Jack's leg. Capslock walks out of the gymnasium laughing as Jack rolls around on the mat clutching his leg and bleeding all over the ring.

WINNER by DQ in 00:02- MOOSEHEAD JACK


You can get a sense by looking at the old PHWF stuff.

Someone had the idea in chat to bring this back as a silly side project of the OOWF. I was going to write some cards periodically, maybe with Eric. If anyone actually wants to also write some funny stuff with us, awesome.

[Eric O'Mac]

I told Eco I'm in to do what I can. I can write short, silly, matches. It's similar to the OOWF in that you have characters and you promo. The idea that Moose ran by us is that we do shows on the 15th and 30th of each month. Some may even compare the PHWF to WCW in 2000. It's that silly and stupid.

[Chris Eco]

Nov 24, 2010 16:50:23 GMT -5 Eric O'Mac said:

Some may even compare the PHWF to WCW in 2000. It's that silly and stupid.

Fun fact--all PHWF title matches are Judy Bagwell on a Pole matches.

[Eric O'Mac]

Also, everyone needs to be OK with the idea of jobbing to Eric O'Mac. He's going to be a king here.

and the World Title is actually an Urn now.

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade into, ironically, an IHOP, where a small group reminisces over breakfast...

Dr. Rumack: Lemme tell ya what “Like a Virgin” is all about. It’s all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The whole song is a metaphor for big dicks.
Skurge: No it ain’t. It’s aboot a girl who’s very vulnerable and she’s been fucked over a few times, eh? Then she meets some guy who’s really sensitive--
Dr. Rumack: --Whoa...whoa...time out, Toronto. Tell that bullshit to the tourists.
The Amnesiac: Toby...who the fuck is Toby? Toby...Toby...think...think...think...
Dr. Rumack: It’s not about a nice girl who meets a sensitive boy. Now, granted, that’s what “True Blue” is about. No argument about that.
John Cena: Which one is “True Blue”?
Dorothy Mantooth: You don’t remember “True Blue”? That was a big ass hit for Madonna. Shit, I don’t even follow this Tops In Pops shit, and I’ve at least heard of “True Blue.”
John Cena: Look, lady, I didn’t say I hadn’t heard of it. All I asked was how does it go? Excuse me for not being the world’s biggest Madonna fan.
Skurge: Personally, I could do withoot her.
Monkh: I like her early stuff. You know, “Lucky Star,” “Borderline” -- but once she got into her “Papa Don’t Preach” phase, I don’t know, I tuned out.
Dr. Rumack: Hey, fuck all that. I’m making a point here. You’re gonna make me lose my train of thought.
The Amnesiac: Oh fuck, Toby’s that little China girl.
Fezzik (to The Amnesiac): What’s that?
The Amnesiac: I found this old address book in a jacket I ain’t worn in a coon’s age. Toby what? What the fuck was her last name?
Dr. Rumack: Where was I?
SYB: You said “True Blue” was about a nice girl who finds a sensitive fella. But “Like a Virgin” was a metaphor for big dicks.
Dr. Rumack: Let me tell ya what “Like a Virgin” is about. It’s about some cooze who’s a regular fuck machine. I mean all the time, morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
Monkh: How many dicks is that?
Fezzik: A lot.
Dr. Rumack: Then one day she meets a John Holmes motherfucker, and it’s like, whoa baby. This motherfucker’s like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape. He’s diggin tunnels. Now she’s gettin this serious dick action, she’s feelin something she ain’t felt since forever. Pain.
The Amnesiac: Chu? Toby Chu? No.
Dr. Rumack: It hurts. It hurts her. It shouldn’t hurt. Her pussy should be Bubble-Yum by now. But when this cat fucks her, it hurts. It hurts like the first time. The pain is reminding a fuck machine what is was once like to be a virgin. Hence, “Like a Virgin.”
The Amnesiac: Wong.
Fezzik (taking The Amnesiac’s address book): Give me this fucking thing.
The Amnesiac: What the fuck do you think you’re doin? Give me my book back!
Fezzik: I’m sick of fuckin hearin it Amnesiac, I’ll give it back when we leave.
The Amnesiac: Whaddaya mean, give it to me when we leave? Give it back now.
Fezzik: For the past fifteen minutes now, you’ve just been droning on with names. “Toby...Toby...Toby... Toby Wong...Toby Wong...Toby Chung...fuckin Charlie Chan.” I got Madonna’s big dick coming outta my right ear, and Toby Jap-I-don’t-know-what outta my left.
The Amnesiac: What do you care?
Fezzik: When you’re annoying as hell, I care a lot.
The Amnesiac: Give me my book.
Fezzik: You gonna put it away?
The Amnesiac: I’m gonna do whatever I wanna do with it.
Fezzik: Well, then, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to keep it.
Skurge: Amnesiac, you want me to do a shoot on him for you?
Fezzik: Shit, you shoot on me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.
Dorothy Mantooth: Have you guys been listening to K-BILLY’s super sounds of the seventies weekend?
SYB: Yeah, it’s fuckin great isn’t it?
Dorothy Mantooth: Can you believe the songs they’ve been playin?
SYB: No, I can’t. You know what I heard the other day? “Heartbeat - It’s Lovebeat,” by Little Tony DeFranco and the DeFranco Family. I haven’t heard that since I was in fifth fuckin grade.
Dorothy Mantooth: When I was coming down here, I was playin it. And “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia” came on. Now I ain’t heard that song since it was big, but when it was big, I heard it a million-trillion times. I’m listening to it this morning, and this was the first time I ever realized that the lady singing the song was the one who shot Andy.
Dr. Rumack: You didn’t know Vicki Lawrence killed the guy?
Dorothy Mantooth: I thought the cheatin wife shot Andy.
Skurge: They say it at the end of the song, eh?
Dorothy Mantooth: I know, motherfucker, I just heard it. That’s what I’m talkin about. I musta zoned out whenever that part came on before.
The Amnesiac (standing up): Alright, I’ll take care of the check, you guys leave the tip. (To Fezzik) And you: when I come back, I want my book.
Fezzik: Sorry, it’s my book now.
The Amnesiac: Hey Skurge, I changed my mind. Shoot on this piece of shit, will ya?
Dorothy Mantooth: Okay, everybody cough up some green for the little lady.

*Everybody whips out a buck, and throws it on the table. Everybody, that is, except SYB.

Dorothy Mantooth: C’mon, throw in a buck.
SYB: Uh uh. I don’t tip.
Dorothy Mantooth:You don’t tip?
SYB: I don’t believe in it.
Dorothy Mantooth: You don’t believe in tipping?
Monkh: Do you know what these chicks make? They make shit.
SYB: Don’t give me that. She don’t make enough money, she can quit.
Dorothy Mantooth: I don’t know any other Joo who’d have the balls to say that. So lemme get this straight. You don’t ever tip?
SYB: I don’t tip because society says I gotta. I tip when somebody deserves a tip. When somebody really puts forth an effort, they deserve a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, that shit’s for the birds. As far as I’m concerned, they’re just doin their job.
Monkh: Yeah, but this girl was nice.
SYB: She was okay. She wasn’t anything special.
Monkh: What’s special? Take ya in the back and suck your dick?
Dorothy Mantooth: Even I’d go over twelve percent for that.
SYB: Look, I ordered coffee. Now, we’ve been here a long fuckin time, and she’s only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times.
Skurge: Six times, eh? Well, what if she’s too fuckin busy?
SYB: The words “too fuckin busy” shouldn’t be in a waitress’s vocabulary.
Dorothy Mantooth: Excuse me, Solly, but the last thing you need is another cup of coffee.
SYB: These ladies aren’t starvin to death. They make minimum wage. When I worked for minimum wage, I wasn’t lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tipworthy.
Monkh: You don’t care that they’re counting on your tips to live?

*SYB rubs two of his fingers together.

SYB: Do you know what this is? It’s the world’s smallest violin, playing just for the waitresses.
Fezzik: You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.
SYB: So’s working at McDonald’s, but you don’t feel the need to tip them. They’re servin ya food, you should tip em. But no, society says tip these guys over here, but not those guys over there. That’s bullshit.
Fezzik: Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It’s the one job basically any woman can get and make a living on. The reason is because of tips.
SYB: Fuck all that. Hey, I’m very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That’s fucked up. But that ain’t my fault. It would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn’t do that, I’ll sign it. Put it to a vote, I’ll vote for it. But what I won’t do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you’re giving me, I got two words for that: “Learn to fuckin type.” Cause if you’re expecting me to help out with the rent, you’re in for a big fuckin surprise.
John Cena: He’s convinced me. Give me my dollar back.
Dorothy Mantooth: Hey. Leave the dollars there.

*Everybody laughs. The Amnesiac comes back to the table.

The Amnesiac: Alright, ramblers, let’s get rambling. Wait a minute, who didn’t throw in?
John Cena: Solly.
The Amnesiac: Why?
John Cena: He don’t tip.
The Amnesiac: He don’t tip? Why?
John Cena: He don’t believe in it.
The Amnesiac: He don’t believe in it?
John Cena: Nope.
The Amnesiac (to Cena): Shut up! (to SYB): Cough up the buck, ya cheap bastard, I paid for your goddamn breakfast.
SYB: Alright, since you paid for the breakfast, I’ll put in, but normally I would never do this.
The Amnesiac: Nevermind what you normally would do. Just cough in your buck like everyone else.

*The group gets up to leave. The camera catches Skurge’s waist in the foreground. As he buttons his coat, for a second, we see he’s wearing a belt. A big belt with a picture of a chimpanzee riding a tricycle on it...

[Habs]

ok now I get it

Problem is I have no clue who's who. (except SYB, that cheap Bastard I'll recognize anywhere)

[The Canadian Content]

Nov 24, 2010 22:31:45 GMT -5 Habs said:

ok now I get it

Problem is I have no clue who's who. (except SYB, that cheap Bastard I'll recognize anywhere)

I'm Skurge. Solly you know. The lovely and talented Dorothy Mantooth was our manager. The Demko was The Amnesiac, and his manager/lackey (?) was Monkh.

Rumack, Fezzik, and Cena got added through a convoluted series of promos.

So, Solly, Demko, and I had characters, and the rest were just add-ons.

[Jack Quinn]

<Steve the Viking is sitting at home watching a commercial for PHWFtv. He turns to his cat Baldursjornsson>

STV: PHWF huh? I think, I think the fans need me there! Did you see? There is evil afoot there!

<Steve the Viking grabs his sword and shield and gets to his feet>

STV: HUSS!

[Habs]

<at the american Consulate in Montreal, an Irish French Canadian (imagine George St-Pierre) is waiting to get is working visa for the US>

Consulate clerk: Name?

IFC: Patrick O'Tremblay

Consulate clerk: reason for asking the visa

POT: I want to wrestle for PHWF and kick some ass!

Consulate clerk: OK please sit down this might take a while.

[Road Warrior Shark]

The camera fades in on



Slowly pan out to show the entire scene, with the egg being Extremely large and on a raised platform. The crowd (Where did they come from anyway?) begins to cheer raucously. Suddenly, the egg begins to vibrate and move... and CRACK!



Announcer Voice: No.. It can't be!.... It IS!!!



Suddenly, The Gobbledy Gooker grabs Mean Gene and THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!
He removes his mask and costume and we see...



The crowd Boos relentlessly as he grabs a microphone and begins to speak

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You stupid, ugly, lazy Americans! You spend all this day sitting around being fat and doing nothing! And Why? because your forefathers needed help to survive ONE winter without the comforts of home! Russians never needed any help to survive! I am doing something! I am coming here representing the Glorious USSR! I will take all the fat slobs here in the PHWF and Make them squeal like the capitalist pigs they are! Comrade Sharkoff will be the Number 1 just like USSR is Number 1!

He drops the mic and waves a huge Soviet flag as we fade to black............