Random Moosing 12/16/10
Dec 17, 2010 0:34:44 GMT -5
Post by Jack Quinn on Dec 17, 2010 0:34:44 GMT -5
Random Moosings 12/16/10
Ok I am trying to revive this after a two year absence. Today’s topic: The Greatest Killer the Human Race Has Ever Known
Now, you ask most people that question and they may say, oh that’s easy, war. Well, war has certainly been a tremendous cause of loss of life throughout the years. The US alone has lost almost 650,000 people in war in the last 100 years. The cost of lives to war throughout history? Staggering. Has to be in the hundreds of millions. Folks, that has to be a strong contender, right?
Ok, so if it’s not war, what then? I know, how about disease? The Great Influenza Epidemic of 1918 killed 50-100 million people worldwide. It wiped out entire island populations. Consider that the Black Plague wiped out most of Europe. Smallpox? Many millions. So what is the death toll to disease throughout history? Hundreds of millions? Billions?
These are both excellent contenders, but they pale in comparison to the greatest killer the world has ever known: clouds. I know, I know, you are thinking “Moose has finally lost his mind. Clouds? CLOUDS? Really?” Yes, the same fluffy things that you may have looked up at as a child and said “ooh that looks like a bunny!” Think about it, clouds bring us torrential rains that cause massive floods – hell if you believe in that there bible teaching, a flood pretty much wiped out the WORLD back in the day, take THAT war and disease. What else do clouds bring us? Hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards, ice storms, hell given the right conditions, clouds have dropped fucking frogs on towns. Yes, frogs. How would YOU like to be the guy who has “Here Lies Joe Schmo, Walked out on the bog, got hit by a frog, feelin froggy no more” on your tombstone? The only way to die in a more embarrassing fashion would be to die rooting for the Mets.
You know what else clouds can bring? Disease. Yup, cholera comes from infected drinking water. Drinking water often gets infected when there is a flood and people’s shitters spill into the drinking water and people don’t pause and wonder why their water tastes like a sewer smells and keep drinking it anyway. So, clouds bring rain, rain brings floods, floods overflow shitters, shitwater mixes with drinking water, bam, cholera epidemic, everyone dies. Thank you clouds.
So, the next time you look up into the sky and see a nice fluffy cloud and start thinking of flowery prose to dedicate to that cumulus, stop and consider that you might as well be writing emoetry to Hitler. Yes, I just compared clouds to Hitler. If they could talk, I’ll bet they would hate Jews too. Fucking clouds. Now, everyone join me in going outside and shaking your fists at clouds. But don’t stay too long, you don’t want to get beaned in the melon by a frog.
Ok I am trying to revive this after a two year absence. Today’s topic: The Greatest Killer the Human Race Has Ever Known
Now, you ask most people that question and they may say, oh that’s easy, war. Well, war has certainly been a tremendous cause of loss of life throughout the years. The US alone has lost almost 650,000 people in war in the last 100 years. The cost of lives to war throughout history? Staggering. Has to be in the hundreds of millions. Folks, that has to be a strong contender, right?
Ok, so if it’s not war, what then? I know, how about disease? The Great Influenza Epidemic of 1918 killed 50-100 million people worldwide. It wiped out entire island populations. Consider that the Black Plague wiped out most of Europe. Smallpox? Many millions. So what is the death toll to disease throughout history? Hundreds of millions? Billions?
These are both excellent contenders, but they pale in comparison to the greatest killer the world has ever known: clouds. I know, I know, you are thinking “Moose has finally lost his mind. Clouds? CLOUDS? Really?” Yes, the same fluffy things that you may have looked up at as a child and said “ooh that looks like a bunny!” Think about it, clouds bring us torrential rains that cause massive floods – hell if you believe in that there bible teaching, a flood pretty much wiped out the WORLD back in the day, take THAT war and disease. What else do clouds bring us? Hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards, ice storms, hell given the right conditions, clouds have dropped fucking frogs on towns. Yes, frogs. How would YOU like to be the guy who has “Here Lies Joe Schmo, Walked out on the bog, got hit by a frog, feelin froggy no more” on your tombstone? The only way to die in a more embarrassing fashion would be to die rooting for the Mets.
You know what else clouds can bring? Disease. Yup, cholera comes from infected drinking water. Drinking water often gets infected when there is a flood and people’s shitters spill into the drinking water and people don’t pause and wonder why their water tastes like a sewer smells and keep drinking it anyway. So, clouds bring rain, rain brings floods, floods overflow shitters, shitwater mixes with drinking water, bam, cholera epidemic, everyone dies. Thank you clouds.
So, the next time you look up into the sky and see a nice fluffy cloud and start thinking of flowery prose to dedicate to that cumulus, stop and consider that you might as well be writing emoetry to Hitler. Yes, I just compared clouds to Hitler. If they could talk, I’ll bet they would hate Jews too. Fucking clouds. Now, everyone join me in going outside and shaking your fists at clouds. But don’t stay too long, you don’t want to get beaned in the melon by a frog.
