ROH Review 03/03/12
Mar 5, 2012 19:32:09 GMT -5
Post by Jack Quinn on Mar 5, 2012 19:32:09 GMT -5
Week 76 from the Du Burns Arena in Baltimore, Maryland!
Recap of Davey Richards beating Jay Lethal last week. Kept very short.
Nigel and Kevin are in the ring, and they mention Richards win. Tonight, Roderick Strong faces Eddie Edwards and the winner gets a shot at Davey in Fort. Lauderdale. But first…..
…..we talk to Mike Bennett and OH MY GOD MARIA IS HOT. Lance Storm is either 105 (according to Maria) or 107 (according to Bennett). Recently they cut Storm’s leg off and counted the rings, he is, in fact, 111.
…..TJ Perkins thinks he has a chance against Bennett tonight. They are cute when they are that young.
TJ PERKINS vs. MIKE BENNETT w/OH MY GOD MARIA IS HOT – Perkins looks like he is going to Alex Shelley’s barber. It is not a good look. What is the deal with the whole skunk hair do? Not a good thing guys. Brutal Bob is back with Bennett and OH MY GOD MARIA IS HOT. One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t belong. Bennett gets a handful of Maria ass, and now I really hate him. I dig Perkins, even though he has no chance of winning this match. I would like to see them push him as a threat to Lethal’s title. They had a match a few months ago that was very good. Kelly says Perkins isn’t quick, he’s sudden. I really don’t know what that means. Maria helps Bennett reach the ropes, Perkins drags Bennett and Maria into the ring and we get a fantastic Maria ass shot. Oh and I guess Bennett got the win, but that is really secondary here. In all seriousness, Maria is still really the only good thing about Bennett. It’s a damn good thing, but still the only thing.
COMMERCIALS!
-Young Wolves Rising (still sounds like a gay porno). This sounds like a good card. We talk to Jay Lethal who does not think it will be a fair fight, he will face the Embassy. Ciampa thinks he will add another notch to his belt, but Jay Lethal is going to add a notch to HIS belt. TAKE THAT CIAMPA! Seriously, is it me, or does everything that comes out of both these guys sound very homoerotic?
-Veda Scott is talking to the Embassy Limited. Let’s test my theory. Ciampa has nothing to lose in NYC, Lethal has everything to lose. His confidence, his health, his career, his TV title. Ciampa is going to win and be the only undefeated champion in ROH history. Ok, he toned down the homoerotic stuff for this one.
GUY ALEXANDER vs. TOMASSO CIAMPA – Guy who? Ok, Guy Smiley takes on Tomasso Bad Tights. Seriously, his tights look like something cut out of curtains from 1972. The lawyer guy from the Embassy Limited looks like Kenneth Parcell (the guy from 30 Rock, my new obsession) in other words, very goofy. Evidently Doyle Alexander is coming back from a back injury or something. ROH folks, was this guy ever anything, or are they just trying to give a jobber a back story? The Sicilian Psychopath is a damn good nickname I gotta say. That was for Ciampa in case anyone was confused. Ciampa KILLS Guy Smiley with like six running knees to the face and the referee stops the match. Not really much of a match, but they made Ciampa look really good. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Ciampa takes the title off of Lethal. After the match Lethal had against Richards last week, I could see them pushing him for the world title.
INSIDE ROH
-Sunday March 4th, the 10th anniversary show…..which, since you are reading this on the 5th was yesterday. They are at the Hammerstein Ballroom, I liked when ECW ran there.
-The Briscoes still think the Bucks are pretty. They aren’t taking them lightly, but they may still rape them. Not that ROH condones rape
-Kevin Steen wears a top hat. I mean really, how can you not like this guy? Steen is happy to spend the night with Jacobs, they are going to let the champagne and blood flow. I want to party with Steen.
-Showdown in the Sun March 30 & 31. This is shaping up to be a pretty good card too. Richards faces the winner of the Strong/Edwards match in the 30th. Also, Bennett faces Lance Storm. Storm called ROH and asked for the match. Storm is moral like that. Also, WGTT face the Briscoes.
-All Night Express face the Bucks in a Dual Duel. Two matches, two nights. Street fight one night, tornado match the next. Sounds good. The Bucks said no to a street fight, but wanted a tornado match, but the officials made both matches anyway. Wait, I am confused. If the Bucks say they were too smart to let the ANX pick the stips, but then ROH made the match anyway……ok stop thinking.
-Chikara is going to be featured during the New York and Florida shows. I can’t say I know a thing about Chikara. Is that the stuff with Dr. Cube? Or Ebessan? Speaking of….as an aside here…..there is a YouTube clip of Ebessan and some other guy wrestling a match in slow motion, cracked me up, go look it up, totally worth it.
MAIN EVENT TIME!
RODERICK STRONG w/Truth Martini (who is nowhere near as hot as OH MY GOD MARIA IS HOT) vs. EDDIE EDWARDS
A guy in the crowd is wearing a Yo MTV Raps t-shirt. When they started taping this show, I think Yo MTV Raps was still on the air. I wonder what they do with all the streamers that are thrown into the ring? ROH should open a party store. Streamers R Us or something. Some back story here, Eddie beat Strong for the ROH title. He beat him in something called the Ringmaster Challenge, which I don’t know what that was either. Someone fill me in here. Also, Edwards beat Strong to in that insane 80 minute plus eight man tag match a month or so ago. So these two DO have a history. They recapped the whole Richards/O’Reily vs. Edwards/Cole thing, rather unnecessarily. Edwards hits a nice sliding dropkick while Strong was in the Tree of Woe. Slick move.
COMMERCIALS!
-Davey Richards talks about who he is going to face at the Ft. Lauderdale show. He is collecting heads in Florida because he is a Headhunter. Ok then.
LOCAL COMMERCIAL – commercial for some workers comp lawyer, a kid is all upset because his daddy got hurt and “now he can’t work so good no more” gotta love when local commercials push that stupid hick stereotype.
WE’RE BACK! Roddy gets the upper hand by some Truth shenanigans……just like a good manager should. Seriously, both TNA and WWE are missing the boat on bringing back good old-school managers. Strong lifts Edwards for a suplex, then just throws him at the ropes. Great dick move, great visual too. Truth distracts Eddie as he goes for the double stomp. Adam Cole comes out and KILLS Truth with a superkick. Not a smart move because now you have PISSED MICHAEL ELGIN RIGHT THE HELL OFF. Eddie does a suicide dive out of the ring that takes all of them out. With the referee distracted, Strong wraps something around his boot and hits the SICK KICK (I think that is what it is called) and gets the three count!
Waaaaaaait a second. Paul Turner comes out and calls Strong a dirty cheater. The referee’s argue, Eddie nails Strong with a superkick, ref bump and Turner counts the three count for Edwards. Well now this won’t do. We go to commercial, then come back and Jimmy Cornette is in the ring to be the voice of reason. We are all in trouble. Cornette takes a page out of the WWE’s Playbook of Thinking Well Within the Box and announces that Davey Richards will defend against Roderick Strong AND Eddie Edwards at Showdown in the Sun’s Friday show in what sounds like a TRUE triple threat match. Ok, I am not really a fan of Strong, but do we need ANOTHER Richards/Edwards match? Let him go do the tag team thing with Cole.
This was a really good match, though something bothered me. Edwards is not as bad at no-selling things as Davey Richards, but he probably spent 90% of the match on offense. Strong would hit a move, Edwards would sell it, for a few seconds, then almost immediately get the upper hand again.
Very good show. I have no idea what they are going to show next week, I assume they will show the 10th Anniversary show. Maybe I get to see Kevin Steen!
Hope you enjoyed the recap, feel free to leave comments here, or head to www.punshouse.com and leave a comment there. There is some damn fine stuff on that message board (also, if you like fantasy wrestling, drop me a line about the OOWF, OMG CHEAP PLUG!)
Recap of Davey Richards beating Jay Lethal last week. Kept very short.
Nigel and Kevin are in the ring, and they mention Richards win. Tonight, Roderick Strong faces Eddie Edwards and the winner gets a shot at Davey in Fort. Lauderdale. But first…..
…..we talk to Mike Bennett and OH MY GOD MARIA IS HOT. Lance Storm is either 105 (according to Maria) or 107 (according to Bennett). Recently they cut Storm’s leg off and counted the rings, he is, in fact, 111.
…..TJ Perkins thinks he has a chance against Bennett tonight. They are cute when they are that young.
TJ PERKINS vs. MIKE BENNETT w/OH MY GOD MARIA IS HOT – Perkins looks like he is going to Alex Shelley’s barber. It is not a good look. What is the deal with the whole skunk hair do? Not a good thing guys. Brutal Bob is back with Bennett and OH MY GOD MARIA IS HOT. One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t belong. Bennett gets a handful of Maria ass, and now I really hate him. I dig Perkins, even though he has no chance of winning this match. I would like to see them push him as a threat to Lethal’s title. They had a match a few months ago that was very good. Kelly says Perkins isn’t quick, he’s sudden. I really don’t know what that means. Maria helps Bennett reach the ropes, Perkins drags Bennett and Maria into the ring and we get a fantastic Maria ass shot. Oh and I guess Bennett got the win, but that is really secondary here. In all seriousness, Maria is still really the only good thing about Bennett. It’s a damn good thing, but still the only thing.
COMMERCIALS!
-Young Wolves Rising (still sounds like a gay porno). This sounds like a good card. We talk to Jay Lethal who does not think it will be a fair fight, he will face the Embassy. Ciampa thinks he will add another notch to his belt, but Jay Lethal is going to add a notch to HIS belt. TAKE THAT CIAMPA! Seriously, is it me, or does everything that comes out of both these guys sound very homoerotic?
-Veda Scott is talking to the Embassy Limited. Let’s test my theory. Ciampa has nothing to lose in NYC, Lethal has everything to lose. His confidence, his health, his career, his TV title. Ciampa is going to win and be the only undefeated champion in ROH history. Ok, he toned down the homoerotic stuff for this one.
GUY ALEXANDER vs. TOMASSO CIAMPA – Guy who? Ok, Guy Smiley takes on Tomasso Bad Tights. Seriously, his tights look like something cut out of curtains from 1972. The lawyer guy from the Embassy Limited looks like Kenneth Parcell (the guy from 30 Rock, my new obsession) in other words, very goofy. Evidently Doyle Alexander is coming back from a back injury or something. ROH folks, was this guy ever anything, or are they just trying to give a jobber a back story? The Sicilian Psychopath is a damn good nickname I gotta say. That was for Ciampa in case anyone was confused. Ciampa KILLS Guy Smiley with like six running knees to the face and the referee stops the match. Not really much of a match, but they made Ciampa look really good. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Ciampa takes the title off of Lethal. After the match Lethal had against Richards last week, I could see them pushing him for the world title.
INSIDE ROH
-Sunday March 4th, the 10th anniversary show…..which, since you are reading this on the 5th was yesterday. They are at the Hammerstein Ballroom, I liked when ECW ran there.
-The Briscoes still think the Bucks are pretty. They aren’t taking them lightly, but they may still rape them. Not that ROH condones rape
-Kevin Steen wears a top hat. I mean really, how can you not like this guy? Steen is happy to spend the night with Jacobs, they are going to let the champagne and blood flow. I want to party with Steen.
-Showdown in the Sun March 30 & 31. This is shaping up to be a pretty good card too. Richards faces the winner of the Strong/Edwards match in the 30th. Also, Bennett faces Lance Storm. Storm called ROH and asked for the match. Storm is moral like that. Also, WGTT face the Briscoes.
-All Night Express face the Bucks in a Dual Duel. Two matches, two nights. Street fight one night, tornado match the next. Sounds good. The Bucks said no to a street fight, but wanted a tornado match, but the officials made both matches anyway. Wait, I am confused. If the Bucks say they were too smart to let the ANX pick the stips, but then ROH made the match anyway……ok stop thinking.
-Chikara is going to be featured during the New York and Florida shows. I can’t say I know a thing about Chikara. Is that the stuff with Dr. Cube? Or Ebessan? Speaking of….as an aside here…..there is a YouTube clip of Ebessan and some other guy wrestling a match in slow motion, cracked me up, go look it up, totally worth it.
MAIN EVENT TIME!
RODERICK STRONG w/Truth Martini (who is nowhere near as hot as OH MY GOD MARIA IS HOT) vs. EDDIE EDWARDS
A guy in the crowd is wearing a Yo MTV Raps t-shirt. When they started taping this show, I think Yo MTV Raps was still on the air. I wonder what they do with all the streamers that are thrown into the ring? ROH should open a party store. Streamers R Us or something. Some back story here, Eddie beat Strong for the ROH title. He beat him in something called the Ringmaster Challenge, which I don’t know what that was either. Someone fill me in here. Also, Edwards beat Strong to in that insane 80 minute plus eight man tag match a month or so ago. So these two DO have a history. They recapped the whole Richards/O’Reily vs. Edwards/Cole thing, rather unnecessarily. Edwards hits a nice sliding dropkick while Strong was in the Tree of Woe. Slick move.
COMMERCIALS!
-Davey Richards talks about who he is going to face at the Ft. Lauderdale show. He is collecting heads in Florida because he is a Headhunter. Ok then.
LOCAL COMMERCIAL – commercial for some workers comp lawyer, a kid is all upset because his daddy got hurt and “now he can’t work so good no more” gotta love when local commercials push that stupid hick stereotype.
WE’RE BACK! Roddy gets the upper hand by some Truth shenanigans……just like a good manager should. Seriously, both TNA and WWE are missing the boat on bringing back good old-school managers. Strong lifts Edwards for a suplex, then just throws him at the ropes. Great dick move, great visual too. Truth distracts Eddie as he goes for the double stomp. Adam Cole comes out and KILLS Truth with a superkick. Not a smart move because now you have PISSED MICHAEL ELGIN RIGHT THE HELL OFF. Eddie does a suicide dive out of the ring that takes all of them out. With the referee distracted, Strong wraps something around his boot and hits the SICK KICK (I think that is what it is called) and gets the three count!
Waaaaaaait a second. Paul Turner comes out and calls Strong a dirty cheater. The referee’s argue, Eddie nails Strong with a superkick, ref bump and Turner counts the three count for Edwards. Well now this won’t do. We go to commercial, then come back and Jimmy Cornette is in the ring to be the voice of reason. We are all in trouble. Cornette takes a page out of the WWE’s Playbook of Thinking Well Within the Box and announces that Davey Richards will defend against Roderick Strong AND Eddie Edwards at Showdown in the Sun’s Friday show in what sounds like a TRUE triple threat match. Ok, I am not really a fan of Strong, but do we need ANOTHER Richards/Edwards match? Let him go do the tag team thing with Cole.
This was a really good match, though something bothered me. Edwards is not as bad at no-selling things as Davey Richards, but he probably spent 90% of the match on offense. Strong would hit a move, Edwards would sell it, for a few seconds, then almost immediately get the upper hand again.
Very good show. I have no idea what they are going to show next week, I assume they will show the 10th Anniversary show. Maybe I get to see Kevin Steen!
Hope you enjoyed the recap, feel free to leave comments here, or head to www.punshouse.com and leave a comment there. There is some damn fine stuff on that message board (also, if you like fantasy wrestling, drop me a line about the OOWF, OMG CHEAP PLUG!)