ROH Review 03/17/12
Mar 19, 2012 19:19:54 GMT -5
Post by Jack Quinn on Mar 19, 2012 19:19:54 GMT -5
Ooooh, you cannot reach me now
Ooooh, no matter how you try
Goodbye, cruel world, it's over
Walk on by.
Sitting in the third row here behind ringside
Waiting to leave Du Burns sometime.
In perfect isolation here at ringside
Waiting to leave Du Burns sometime.
We're {waiting for the taping} and going to convene outside the arena
for those in charge where we're going to be...
Waiting to cut up Grizzly Redwood.
Waiting for Maria, OMG SO PRETTY
Waiting to escape from Du Burns
Waiting to buy a Kill Steen Kill t-shirt
Waiting for Richards to sell for the weaklings
Waiting to put a Briscoe through a window
And kick in their teeth
Waiting for a American Wolf resolution
To ease up my pain
Waiting to escape from Du Burns
Waiting for an attack in the showers
And a brawl between dozens
Waiting for Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team
To get in the ring
Waiting to escape from Du Burns
Would you like to see Ring of Honor
Tape somewhere else, my friend?
All you have to do is escape from Du Burns.
Would you like to see your family
And sunshine again, my friend?
All you need to do is escape from Du Burns
We open live……from the Du Burns Ar……..wait a minute……..THIS IS NOT THE DU BURNS ARENA!
We open in New York City where Adam Cole PINS Davey Richards! Highlights from the ROH 10th Anniversary Show. Davey does the goofy take a knee handshake, but Kyle O’Reily is a dick and doesn’t respect anyone, Kevin Steen is talking on the balcony of the Hammerstein Ballroom and respects everyone even LESS! Take THAT O’Reily. Steen is going to haunt Davey until Davey convinces Cornette to give Steen a match. I like where this is headed!
We come back and……..DAMN YOU RING OF HONOR! WE ARE STILL IN THE DU BURNS ARENA!! They are never going to leave.
We start right off with a match……
ADAM COLE vs. CHRIS SILVIO
First, Adam Cole has things to say. He is thrilled to get the win for the team, but thinks Kyle is a great big douche for not shaking his hands. Cole is going to MAKE him respect him……by force! Cole faces the “Psychedelic Superstar” Chris Silvio. I kind of dig Silvio, he looks like (as pointed out by Nigel) a throwback to Austin Idol, Jesse Ventura or Billy Graham……except he is about 80 pounds lighter and six inches shorter. Kyle O’Reily joins Nigel and Kevin on commentary and adds nothing. This guy just oozes dull. We find out that O’Reily gets a shot at Lethal’s TV title at Showdown in the Sun on Friday. This is far less of a squash than I thought it would be. Silvio is allowed to look kind of good in this one, he bumps his ass off for Cole though. Cole KILLS Silvio with a fireman’s carry into a neck breaker kind of thing, looked BRUTAL. Silivo catches Cole with a straight punch to the face, which Cole sells like he had been shot. Naturally though, Silvio does not go for the cover and moments later, Cole hits the FLORIDA KEY for the win. Afterward, Kyle O’Reily decides he has not been QUITE enough of a douche and grabs a mic. He challenges Cole to a match for the Saturday portion of Showdown in the Sun, which, I guess in theory, could be for the ROH TV title if O’Reily beats Lethal on Friday….yeah right. Cole calls O’Reily a PMS bitch…..can’t really argue with that…..and accepts the match.
Up next….KEVIN STEEN TALKS…..and I can barely wait!
COMMERCIALS!
-the House of Truth comes out, Strong talks up his match, naturally says he is going to walk away with the ROH title. Elgin says nothing. That was disappointing.
WE ARE BACK! The main event tonight is Jay Lethal vs. Roderick Strong in the first match of the March Mayhem tournament…..more on that later!
Before that…..Young Wolves Rising in New York…..recap of Jacobs vs. Steen. Gotta say I wasn’t real big on Jacobs….but after seeing this? Holy shit. Between this and the Age of the Fall stuff….wow. He tries to KILL Steen with a steel spike to the face. Steen wins, but the match looks AWESOME.
Steen comes out to the beginning of Davey Richards music, AND he is carrying a tennis racket to mock Cornette. How many ways can I say I love Kevin Steen? Steen talks about the Blind Destiny challenge, and wonders if Cornette is going blind. Steen faces Edwards, and when he beats him, it puts him one step closer to winning the title, which is his destiny…..OMG WORD PLAY! He is going to win the title and hold ROH hostage, and make Cornette kiss his feet (bad), ass (even worse) and bal…..ahhhh Jimmy C gets out there before Steen can say balls. Cornette announces his opponent for the Friday portion of Showdown in the Sun and it is……..EL GENERICO! Now, if this was the WWE, Steen would have flipped out and acted like there was NO WAY he should face El Generico! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME! But not Steen…..Steen is happy about it, which is, once again, why I love Steen.
COMMERCIALS!
INSIDE RING OF HONOR!
Kevin pimps Showdown in the Sun, which actually looks like a really good two day card.
-Friday 3/30, 8 matches, including Bucks vs. ANX, Lethal vs. O’Reilly and Bennett vs. Storm
-Lance Storm is still alive! He does a very long and very rambling promo. And he looks like Sam the Eagle from the Muppets. You know, I hated the whole “you’re boring” thing Austin did to Storm back in the day, but holy shit this promo is BRUTAL.
-the Friday main event is Richards vs. Edwards vs. Strong. Richards talks about it and bores me to tears. I hope Richards never teams with Storm, that could be the most boring promo team in the history of wrestling. I did find out that Richards and Strong used to run together, I did not know that. He calls Michael Elgin the “War Machine” I like that. Didn’t they call Rhi(y)no that at one point? Davey says the only way someone is going to take the title from him is if they walk through the hell he has gone through and pries the title from his cold dead fingers. I would point out that if he was in hell, his dead fingers probably wouldn’t be cold, but to be realistic, this man COULD kick my head off my shoulders
-Saturday features the three Blind Destiny Challenge matches, Steen vs. Edwards, Lethal vs. Strong and Richards vs. Elgin. We also have a tag title match war between the Briscoes and WGTT
-the Briscoes dismiss WGTT for wrestling “makeshift” tag teams on Monday nights. The Briscoes had to go home and tell Papa Briscoe that they got their ass whupped by one man. That did not go over well. They guarantee that someone is getting carried out of the ring
-WGTT offer a retort. They say after the 31st that is IT. The last match. It’s over. Ok then. I have a feeling it will NOT be over at all.
MAIN EVENT TIME!
March Mayhem. Eight guys in a tournament, Lethal, Strong, Elgin, Ciampa, Bennett, Edwards, Cole and O’Reily. Each man put up $1500 and ROH matches it, for a $24,000 prize. First round matches take place over the next four weeks, then it appears that the final is a four way match.
Lethal enters the tournament as the TV champ, but doesn’t have the title because Ciamap took it from him. They recap their match in New York, and it looked like a pretty good one. Went to a fifteen minute draw and Ciampa steals the title. He KILLS Lethal with PROJECT CIAMPA which is a BRUTAL looking move and steals the title.
RODERICK STRONG vs. JAY LETHAL
But FIRST…..More commercials!
Did you know Showdown in the Sun is the end of March? I promise you it is! Seems like there might be another wrestling event taking place right around that time too….
-Kelly pimps the three way match a little more and asks Eddie about the match. Eddie claims HE is leaving with the title…..wait, Richards and Strong said the same thing! DRAMA!
We’re BACK! This should be a pretty good match. They mention again that Ciampa still has the TV title…..but he hasn’t had a match announced for Showdown in the Sun yet. Wonder if that will change. They keep saying that they will win $24,000 if they win this tournament, but if they put up $1500, wouldn’t they really only be winning $22,500? Or can you win back what you put in? Anyway…..the match. Lethal seems to dominate most of the match, Strong gets the upper hand when Truth interferes. Strong hits a slingshot suplex, niiiiice, haven’t seen one of those in a long time. Truth gets involved again and gets KILLED by Lethal, Strong rolls Lethal up and does the good old fashioned feet on the ropes, but only gets a two count. Elgin comes out and tries to interfere, but it doesn’t work so well, Strong and Elgin smack heads and Lethal rolls him up for the three count. ROH loves them some roll-up finishes.
Next week! WGTT vs. Coleman & Alexander, and if I heard right, two more March Mayhem matches, I believe Elgin vs. Cole and Ciampa vs. O’Reily maybe? I didn’t quite catch it. Anyway, tune in, it should be good!
Be sure to check out www.punshouse.com for more ROH reviews and general chatter. And if you are into fantasy wrestling, there is no fed better than the OOWF, just go to www.oowrestling.com and check us out in the fantasy thread! We have been going for over seven years now!
Ooooh, no matter how you try
Goodbye, cruel world, it's over
Walk on by.
Sitting in the third row here behind ringside
Waiting to leave Du Burns sometime.
In perfect isolation here at ringside
Waiting to leave Du Burns sometime.
We're {waiting for the taping} and going to convene outside the arena
for those in charge where we're going to be...
Waiting to cut up Grizzly Redwood.
Waiting for Maria, OMG SO PRETTY
Waiting to escape from Du Burns
Waiting to buy a Kill Steen Kill t-shirt
Waiting for Richards to sell for the weaklings
Waiting to put a Briscoe through a window
And kick in their teeth
Waiting for a American Wolf resolution
To ease up my pain
Waiting to escape from Du Burns
Waiting for an attack in the showers
And a brawl between dozens
Waiting for Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team
To get in the ring
Waiting to escape from Du Burns
Would you like to see Ring of Honor
Tape somewhere else, my friend?
All you have to do is escape from Du Burns.
Would you like to see your family
And sunshine again, my friend?
All you need to do is escape from Du Burns
We open live……from the Du Burns Ar……..wait a minute……..THIS IS NOT THE DU BURNS ARENA!
We open in New York City where Adam Cole PINS Davey Richards! Highlights from the ROH 10th Anniversary Show. Davey does the goofy take a knee handshake, but Kyle O’Reily is a dick and doesn’t respect anyone, Kevin Steen is talking on the balcony of the Hammerstein Ballroom and respects everyone even LESS! Take THAT O’Reily. Steen is going to haunt Davey until Davey convinces Cornette to give Steen a match. I like where this is headed!
We come back and……..DAMN YOU RING OF HONOR! WE ARE STILL IN THE DU BURNS ARENA!! They are never going to leave.
We start right off with a match……
ADAM COLE vs. CHRIS SILVIO
First, Adam Cole has things to say. He is thrilled to get the win for the team, but thinks Kyle is a great big douche for not shaking his hands. Cole is going to MAKE him respect him……by force! Cole faces the “Psychedelic Superstar” Chris Silvio. I kind of dig Silvio, he looks like (as pointed out by Nigel) a throwback to Austin Idol, Jesse Ventura or Billy Graham……except he is about 80 pounds lighter and six inches shorter. Kyle O’Reily joins Nigel and Kevin on commentary and adds nothing. This guy just oozes dull. We find out that O’Reily gets a shot at Lethal’s TV title at Showdown in the Sun on Friday. This is far less of a squash than I thought it would be. Silvio is allowed to look kind of good in this one, he bumps his ass off for Cole though. Cole KILLS Silvio with a fireman’s carry into a neck breaker kind of thing, looked BRUTAL. Silivo catches Cole with a straight punch to the face, which Cole sells like he had been shot. Naturally though, Silvio does not go for the cover and moments later, Cole hits the FLORIDA KEY for the win. Afterward, Kyle O’Reily decides he has not been QUITE enough of a douche and grabs a mic. He challenges Cole to a match for the Saturday portion of Showdown in the Sun, which, I guess in theory, could be for the ROH TV title if O’Reily beats Lethal on Friday….yeah right. Cole calls O’Reily a PMS bitch…..can’t really argue with that…..and accepts the match.
Up next….KEVIN STEEN TALKS…..and I can barely wait!
COMMERCIALS!
-the House of Truth comes out, Strong talks up his match, naturally says he is going to walk away with the ROH title. Elgin says nothing. That was disappointing.
WE ARE BACK! The main event tonight is Jay Lethal vs. Roderick Strong in the first match of the March Mayhem tournament…..more on that later!
Before that…..Young Wolves Rising in New York…..recap of Jacobs vs. Steen. Gotta say I wasn’t real big on Jacobs….but after seeing this? Holy shit. Between this and the Age of the Fall stuff….wow. He tries to KILL Steen with a steel spike to the face. Steen wins, but the match looks AWESOME.
Steen comes out to the beginning of Davey Richards music, AND he is carrying a tennis racket to mock Cornette. How many ways can I say I love Kevin Steen? Steen talks about the Blind Destiny challenge, and wonders if Cornette is going blind. Steen faces Edwards, and when he beats him, it puts him one step closer to winning the title, which is his destiny…..OMG WORD PLAY! He is going to win the title and hold ROH hostage, and make Cornette kiss his feet (bad), ass (even worse) and bal…..ahhhh Jimmy C gets out there before Steen can say balls. Cornette announces his opponent for the Friday portion of Showdown in the Sun and it is……..EL GENERICO! Now, if this was the WWE, Steen would have flipped out and acted like there was NO WAY he should face El Generico! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME! But not Steen…..Steen is happy about it, which is, once again, why I love Steen.
COMMERCIALS!
INSIDE RING OF HONOR!
Kevin pimps Showdown in the Sun, which actually looks like a really good two day card.
-Friday 3/30, 8 matches, including Bucks vs. ANX, Lethal vs. O’Reilly and Bennett vs. Storm
-Lance Storm is still alive! He does a very long and very rambling promo. And he looks like Sam the Eagle from the Muppets. You know, I hated the whole “you’re boring” thing Austin did to Storm back in the day, but holy shit this promo is BRUTAL.
-the Friday main event is Richards vs. Edwards vs. Strong. Richards talks about it and bores me to tears. I hope Richards never teams with Storm, that could be the most boring promo team in the history of wrestling. I did find out that Richards and Strong used to run together, I did not know that. He calls Michael Elgin the “War Machine” I like that. Didn’t they call Rhi(y)no that at one point? Davey says the only way someone is going to take the title from him is if they walk through the hell he has gone through and pries the title from his cold dead fingers. I would point out that if he was in hell, his dead fingers probably wouldn’t be cold, but to be realistic, this man COULD kick my head off my shoulders
-Saturday features the three Blind Destiny Challenge matches, Steen vs. Edwards, Lethal vs. Strong and Richards vs. Elgin. We also have a tag title match war between the Briscoes and WGTT
-the Briscoes dismiss WGTT for wrestling “makeshift” tag teams on Monday nights. The Briscoes had to go home and tell Papa Briscoe that they got their ass whupped by one man. That did not go over well. They guarantee that someone is getting carried out of the ring
-WGTT offer a retort. They say after the 31st that is IT. The last match. It’s over. Ok then. I have a feeling it will NOT be over at all.
MAIN EVENT TIME!
March Mayhem. Eight guys in a tournament, Lethal, Strong, Elgin, Ciampa, Bennett, Edwards, Cole and O’Reily. Each man put up $1500 and ROH matches it, for a $24,000 prize. First round matches take place over the next four weeks, then it appears that the final is a four way match.
Lethal enters the tournament as the TV champ, but doesn’t have the title because Ciamap took it from him. They recap their match in New York, and it looked like a pretty good one. Went to a fifteen minute draw and Ciampa steals the title. He KILLS Lethal with PROJECT CIAMPA which is a BRUTAL looking move and steals the title.
RODERICK STRONG vs. JAY LETHAL
But FIRST…..More commercials!
Did you know Showdown in the Sun is the end of March? I promise you it is! Seems like there might be another wrestling event taking place right around that time too….
-Kelly pimps the three way match a little more and asks Eddie about the match. Eddie claims HE is leaving with the title…..wait, Richards and Strong said the same thing! DRAMA!
We’re BACK! This should be a pretty good match. They mention again that Ciampa still has the TV title…..but he hasn’t had a match announced for Showdown in the Sun yet. Wonder if that will change. They keep saying that they will win $24,000 if they win this tournament, but if they put up $1500, wouldn’t they really only be winning $22,500? Or can you win back what you put in? Anyway…..the match. Lethal seems to dominate most of the match, Strong gets the upper hand when Truth interferes. Strong hits a slingshot suplex, niiiiice, haven’t seen one of those in a long time. Truth gets involved again and gets KILLED by Lethal, Strong rolls Lethal up and does the good old fashioned feet on the ropes, but only gets a two count. Elgin comes out and tries to interfere, but it doesn’t work so well, Strong and Elgin smack heads and Lethal rolls him up for the three count. ROH loves them some roll-up finishes.
Next week! WGTT vs. Coleman & Alexander, and if I heard right, two more March Mayhem matches, I believe Elgin vs. Cole and Ciampa vs. O’Reily maybe? I didn’t quite catch it. Anyway, tune in, it should be good!
Be sure to check out www.punshouse.com for more ROH reviews and general chatter. And if you are into fantasy wrestling, there is no fed better than the OOWF, just go to www.oowrestling.com and check us out in the fantasy thread! We have been going for over seven years now!