Round 2: Gullett vs Ryan
Sept 15, 2012 0:31:38 GMT -5
Post by Andy on Sept 15, 2012 0:31:38 GMT -5
Cam Gullett
Hey Kingslayer, what say you use those powers to get rid of some Kings worth off-ing: Lebron James, Joffrie, or those hockey homos from LA. You are wasting your powers on Johnny Bellefield and LOLer? Aim higher motherfucker!!
You think it would be in bad taste if Punk came out at Night of Champions and said, "You come at the King, you best not miss. I'm talking to you heart attacks."
My opponent for this week is the Hollywood Homo, James Ryan. He is my brother from another mother and my cohost for Army of Dorkness. That won't stop me from railing him like the local 408 boys do me on a saturday night though.
James Ryan is a fan of the Doyers, the Lions, the Lakers, and the USC Trojans. Is this guy serious? At least the teams I picked BECAME hard to root for eventually. He chose 3 of the most insufferable teams to follow in the history of sports. He is also a Lions fans in case that one slipped by.
Jimmy "Jew-blower" Ryan fancies himself as the talented half of Army of Dorkness, wait, no that one is true. Moving on...
Are you guys aware that he is gay? I am. How else do you think we met?
Remember that time I fell asleep while listening to Wait Til Next Year? Well listen to their next episode to find out the full story. It's as riveting as listening to Jabba the Enright.
Am I the only one who thought it was a little fishy that Jerry LOLer had a heart attack with Bret Hart present?
"I did it for Kaufman" -Jerry's heart valves.
JB King thinks that me advancing for the final four means that this tournament is pointless? You're dead, and none of even sent flowers.
If Adam Dan somehow ends up winning this thing he will be the King Mable of MNF. At least I will be the Mr. Ass!!
As always, "The Dashing Franchise" Cam Gullett!
James Ryan
RAWZ
Good evening MNFers! I'm back from my wonderful weekend vacation to
the badlands of Fresno, California for a wedding and then tempted the
fates by journeying into Yosemite National Park! I dare you to give
me the Hantavirus!!!
Welcome to another heart stopping, pulse pounding, arm numbing 3 Hour
Edition of RAW!!!
Phew, I'm a little out of breath from that intro!
Hold on. Time out. I think I need to take a breather or something.
Can I get a glass of water, someone?
Anyone?
Help..........................................
(heavy breathing)
....................................................
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhJGLKRRRLKKKJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGKL/,.
Wait? What am I doing in this hospital bed? I gotta get out of here,
I have a Male Bag email to complete!!!
This medical misstep has taken my time and attention from a Live
Emailing of RAW,. In the struggle to regain my life, I have seemed to
left my notes behind, so I'll just hit on some points.
Cam Gullett did a great job with his racial jokes during his
deposition segment on RAW. And in standard Cam fashion, his jokes
bombed harder than the Chris Alt's Pizza Hut Joke!
Speaking of Chris Alt, found a new buddy for you:
i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/BeerBaron721/auto-hey-i-just-met-you-and-this-is-crazy-Butthurt-Dweller-memes-198159.jpg
In "The Skit That Wouldn't End", Otunga said that the Brogue Kick
"causes extreme nerve damage and tingling of the extremities of your
victims?" Lawler?
I guess The King didn't drink his 5 Hour Energy, but that's for later!
SANDBLAST OF THE EMAIL! Austin Sanders, the only positive thing about
you and your emails is your HIV status. But please, continue
submitting them, you diseased Haitian prostitute!
Tell your mom when she gets over her UTI to page me because I'd like
to give her another one. #cranberryjuice
In this weeks show, Chris Alt asked, and I quote, "What does John
Drouin gotta do to get a little love from you guys?"
ANSWER: "Die in a fiery automobile crash." The Universe has spoken,
ladies and gentlemen!!!!
Is Brodus Clay legitimately retarded? He just said "Wassup?" to CM
Punk and stood there grinning off into the distance. He really
sounded like South Park's Jimmy. #TVforVendetter
Speaking of fat people, we, the emailers of MNF Male Bag need to stop
bullying James Enright. This has gone on too long. He's has enough on
his plate as it is already.
DID YOU KNOW: The Enright Family is known as the Minnesota Wrecking
Crew, on account of the amount of Buffets they've destroyed across the
Mid Western states!
I love TEAM FRIENDSHIP!!! Thankfully it's not Team Brony! However, I
still think they should be the name I suggested last week, The
Brothers of YEStruction!
And now we've come to the part of RAW that gets a little crazy:
I hear loud audible breathing from someone behind the announce desk.
Either Jerry Lawler just ran a 10K or he is suffering a legit heart
attack.
Or the breathing is coming James Enright after he thought about
exercising. #NotGoinHappenPassMeTheGravyBoat
Suddenly The Hart Foundation has jumped the guard rail and has
attacked Jerry Lawler!!! Oh my god, it's pandemonium!!!! Bret Hart
has been playing the part of "Verbal Kint" since his final days in
WCW!! #OMGSWERVE!!!!
The Harts are jumping on King and destroying him! They have finally
got revenge on Lawler since his Anti-Stu and Helen Rants!!! Jim "The
Anvil" Neidhart, Bruce Hart, Keith Hart, Dean, and OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!
Stu and Owen Hart have repelled from the rafters!!!! THEY'RE BACK!!!!
Also...what's this?!? Brian "Crush" Adams, Stan Stasiak, and Ox Baker
has joined in on the beatdown!!! The Masters of the Heart Punch have
reunited for the First time ever!!! Dr. Death Steve Williams has also
hit the announce area to bring down the King!
Meanwhile, back to real life, it seriously looks like that Heart Punch
that Ox Baker delivered on Lawler in 1978 has slowly but surely found
its mark. Ox Baker, everyone, known as the "Methodical Master of the
Glacial Speeded Offense" #ObscureProWrestler! #DontCallMeShirley
I find it ironic that for someone who's looked like a puffed up, meat
sweated, red faced, baby-faced man since he got behind the Monday
Night Raw desk that tonight is his first career heart attack.
#CallBittyforAdvice
That being said, I am glad to hear that Lawler is alive and
recovering. He apparently was dead for 20 minutes and it took 7
shocks from the defibrillator to wake him up. #LIVEDAMNYOULIVE
Though, this would have been the perfect week for Michael Cole to do
his best Clint Eastwood RNC impression!
"So I’ve got The King sitting here and I just was going to ask him a
couple of questions. But you know, I remember 17 months ago when Mr.
Lawler lost his Wrestlemania match and, no, I wasn’t a big
supporter..." #VincesIdeaofCrashTV
Enough of these shenanigans, I've recovered from my mysterious heart
attack to give it my all for my King of the Ring match against Cam
Gullet!
First and foremost, Cam, this is you, or at least you if you were an Asian.
i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/BeerBaron721/Ginger_675555_1553143.jpg
Now that I've got that out of the way. Cam, when I first spoke to you
before and on our first episode of Army of Dorkness, I really did
believe your entire vocabulary is solely based on the words, "Uh",
"Umm" and the ever popular, "Yeah". Over the months of knowing you, I
have come to believe that in my heart of hearts that you are a racist,
insensitive, mouth breathing troglodyte, but the bottom line is,
you're my racist, insensitive, mouth breathing troglodyte of a
broadcast colleague, and I wouldn't have it any other way. When I
realize who I could have been paired with in the beginning of this
podcast fun, I would have probably shot myself after one episode.
I will leave you with this quote from the late, great Hunter S.
Thompson, which I feel best describes you from my point of view
sometimes.
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered
mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live,
and too rare to die."
Have a great show,
James Ryan
"The Golden Voice of the Flawedcast Network"
Hey Kingslayer, what say you use those powers to get rid of some Kings worth off-ing: Lebron James, Joffrie, or those hockey homos from LA. You are wasting your powers on Johnny Bellefield and LOLer? Aim higher motherfucker!!
You think it would be in bad taste if Punk came out at Night of Champions and said, "You come at the King, you best not miss. I'm talking to you heart attacks."
My opponent for this week is the Hollywood Homo, James Ryan. He is my brother from another mother and my cohost for Army of Dorkness. That won't stop me from railing him like the local 408 boys do me on a saturday night though.
James Ryan is a fan of the Doyers, the Lions, the Lakers, and the USC Trojans. Is this guy serious? At least the teams I picked BECAME hard to root for eventually. He chose 3 of the most insufferable teams to follow in the history of sports. He is also a Lions fans in case that one slipped by.
Jimmy "Jew-blower" Ryan fancies himself as the talented half of Army of Dorkness, wait, no that one is true. Moving on...
Are you guys aware that he is gay? I am. How else do you think we met?
Remember that time I fell asleep while listening to Wait Til Next Year? Well listen to their next episode to find out the full story. It's as riveting as listening to Jabba the Enright.
Am I the only one who thought it was a little fishy that Jerry LOLer had a heart attack with Bret Hart present?
"I did it for Kaufman" -Jerry's heart valves.
JB King thinks that me advancing for the final four means that this tournament is pointless? You're dead, and none of even sent flowers.
If Adam Dan somehow ends up winning this thing he will be the King Mable of MNF. At least I will be the Mr. Ass!!
As always, "The Dashing Franchise" Cam Gullett!
James Ryan
RAWZ
Good evening MNFers! I'm back from my wonderful weekend vacation to
the badlands of Fresno, California for a wedding and then tempted the
fates by journeying into Yosemite National Park! I dare you to give
me the Hantavirus!!!
Welcome to another heart stopping, pulse pounding, arm numbing 3 Hour
Edition of RAW!!!
Phew, I'm a little out of breath from that intro!
Hold on. Time out. I think I need to take a breather or something.
Can I get a glass of water, someone?
Anyone?
Help..........................................
(heavy breathing)
....................................................
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhJGLKRRRLKKKJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGKL/,.
Wait? What am I doing in this hospital bed? I gotta get out of here,
I have a Male Bag email to complete!!!
This medical misstep has taken my time and attention from a Live
Emailing of RAW,. In the struggle to regain my life, I have seemed to
left my notes behind, so I'll just hit on some points.
Cam Gullett did a great job with his racial jokes during his
deposition segment on RAW. And in standard Cam fashion, his jokes
bombed harder than the Chris Alt's Pizza Hut Joke!
Speaking of Chris Alt, found a new buddy for you:
i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/BeerBaron721/auto-hey-i-just-met-you-and-this-is-crazy-Butthurt-Dweller-memes-198159.jpg
In "The Skit That Wouldn't End", Otunga said that the Brogue Kick
"causes extreme nerve damage and tingling of the extremities of your
victims?" Lawler?
I guess The King didn't drink his 5 Hour Energy, but that's for later!
SANDBLAST OF THE EMAIL! Austin Sanders, the only positive thing about
you and your emails is your HIV status. But please, continue
submitting them, you diseased Haitian prostitute!
Tell your mom when she gets over her UTI to page me because I'd like
to give her another one. #cranberryjuice
In this weeks show, Chris Alt asked, and I quote, "What does John
Drouin gotta do to get a little love from you guys?"
ANSWER: "Die in a fiery automobile crash." The Universe has spoken,
ladies and gentlemen!!!!
Is Brodus Clay legitimately retarded? He just said "Wassup?" to CM
Punk and stood there grinning off into the distance. He really
sounded like South Park's Jimmy. #TVforVendetter
Speaking of fat people, we, the emailers of MNF Male Bag need to stop
bullying James Enright. This has gone on too long. He's has enough on
his plate as it is already.
DID YOU KNOW: The Enright Family is known as the Minnesota Wrecking
Crew, on account of the amount of Buffets they've destroyed across the
Mid Western states!
I love TEAM FRIENDSHIP!!! Thankfully it's not Team Brony! However, I
still think they should be the name I suggested last week, The
Brothers of YEStruction!
And now we've come to the part of RAW that gets a little crazy:
I hear loud audible breathing from someone behind the announce desk.
Either Jerry Lawler just ran a 10K or he is suffering a legit heart
attack.
Or the breathing is coming James Enright after he thought about
exercising. #NotGoinHappenPassMeTheGravyBoat
Suddenly The Hart Foundation has jumped the guard rail and has
attacked Jerry Lawler!!! Oh my god, it's pandemonium!!!! Bret Hart
has been playing the part of "Verbal Kint" since his final days in
WCW!! #OMGSWERVE!!!!
The Harts are jumping on King and destroying him! They have finally
got revenge on Lawler since his Anti-Stu and Helen Rants!!! Jim "The
Anvil" Neidhart, Bruce Hart, Keith Hart, Dean, and OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!
Stu and Owen Hart have repelled from the rafters!!!! THEY'RE BACK!!!!
Also...what's this?!? Brian "Crush" Adams, Stan Stasiak, and Ox Baker
has joined in on the beatdown!!! The Masters of the Heart Punch have
reunited for the First time ever!!! Dr. Death Steve Williams has also
hit the announce area to bring down the King!
Meanwhile, back to real life, it seriously looks like that Heart Punch
that Ox Baker delivered on Lawler in 1978 has slowly but surely found
its mark. Ox Baker, everyone, known as the "Methodical Master of the
Glacial Speeded Offense" #ObscureProWrestler! #DontCallMeShirley
I find it ironic that for someone who's looked like a puffed up, meat
sweated, red faced, baby-faced man since he got behind the Monday
Night Raw desk that tonight is his first career heart attack.
#CallBittyforAdvice
That being said, I am glad to hear that Lawler is alive and
recovering. He apparently was dead for 20 minutes and it took 7
shocks from the defibrillator to wake him up. #LIVEDAMNYOULIVE
Though, this would have been the perfect week for Michael Cole to do
his best Clint Eastwood RNC impression!
"So I’ve got The King sitting here and I just was going to ask him a
couple of questions. But you know, I remember 17 months ago when Mr.
Lawler lost his Wrestlemania match and, no, I wasn’t a big
supporter..." #VincesIdeaofCrashTV
Enough of these shenanigans, I've recovered from my mysterious heart
attack to give it my all for my King of the Ring match against Cam
Gullet!
First and foremost, Cam, this is you, or at least you if you were an Asian.
i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/BeerBaron721/Ginger_675555_1553143.jpg
Now that I've got that out of the way. Cam, when I first spoke to you
before and on our first episode of Army of Dorkness, I really did
believe your entire vocabulary is solely based on the words, "Uh",
"Umm" and the ever popular, "Yeah". Over the months of knowing you, I
have come to believe that in my heart of hearts that you are a racist,
insensitive, mouth breathing troglodyte, but the bottom line is,
you're my racist, insensitive, mouth breathing troglodyte of a
broadcast colleague, and I wouldn't have it any other way. When I
realize who I could have been paired with in the beginning of this
podcast fun, I would have probably shot myself after one episode.
I will leave you with this quote from the late, great Hunter S.
Thompson, which I feel best describes you from my point of view
sometimes.
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered
mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live,
and too rare to die."
Have a great show,
James Ryan
"The Golden Voice of the Flawedcast Network"
