CAGE MATCH: Little vs Ryan
Dec 30, 2012 0:08:06 GMT -5
Post by Andy on Dec 30, 2012 0:08:06 GMT -5
Stu Little
More like QUEER Baron, amirite?
Hi guys! Chris, glad you're okay after all that drama you went through this week. Now let's show these fools why they can't walk all over The Counts Of Monte Chris-Stu AKA Team Handsome!
*Bella Twins Theme*
Annnnd- Hot Tag To Chris. Sorry, bro. I've got to stay fresh for my Main Event ELECTRIFIED!! BARBED WIRE!! HELL IN A CELL!! match. I know you've got it though.
So, James Ryan. Or should I say, James *bleep*. There's only one Ryan around here that matters, and that's Ryan Dangerfield, former pro wrestler, current...sort of...pro gambler?
I would be lying if I said I came to this without some trepidation. You're a rising star, The Golden Voice, and a guy I really can't match when it comes to offensive jokes, even when I try
![]()
i.imgur.com/DS2Xq.jpg
[/img]
But try I must! So, yeah...you're a Marvel guy, James, so just let me say a couple of things...
I'll begin with a SPOILER from Amazing Spider-man #700. James, your acting career is like Peter Parker: Dead.
Your 14 Minute "Spiritual Meditations" piece is like Avengers vs. X-Men: Overlong, overhyped and overpriced. And yes, I do know you did it for free.
Your penis is like Wolverine: short, hairy, overexposed, and the victim of excessive beatings.
Oh, and by the way, I really appreciate having to wait almost a whole month for the new Army of Dorkness, only for you to forgo the e-mails in favour of your co-host's rambling about the movies he's seen.
Actually, I take back what I said about your acting career. I think if you can show that sort of enthusiasm on cue, you'd be great as one of the "after" guys in pharmaceutical ads.
And on that note, I'm done. Even if I say so myself, I don't think I did too bad, especially considering I don't even lift. Well, not weights, anyway.
Later,
Stu
James Ryan
Greetings MNFlerbs! It is I, The Golden Vocal Chords, James Ryan!
Coming live and direct to you from my Golden Palace!!! Andrew, good
morgan to you. Ladies and gentlemen, let's all welcome back,
“Superstar” Chris Alt to the MNF show! So nice of you to grace us
with your Godly Presence! Cocaine is a hell of a drug, eh? JK!
Actually, I think your recent “Week of Hell” was brought on by your
apparent lack of respect for the Man-Deity known as Papa Shango. You
stepped into the “Dark Circle”, and apparently showed the Voodoo Man
disrespect, and your ass got saaaacked!
In all seriousness, your “gripping” “life updates” on Facebook have
all made us realize the trials and tribulations you have gone through
during this holiday season. We're glad and relieved you survived.
You’re like a real life “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles”. Though,
your journey probably had zero laughs and 100% of you putting your
hands in between other men’s butt cheeks. #THOSEARENTPILLOWS!!!
Calm down Steve Martin and John Candy!
What’s this? It appears we’ve been entered into a Winner Take All
Virtual Death Match of some sorts! Anything goes! High Stakes! Calm
down James Enright! #LunchBoner
Thunder Dome Rules!: Children Half Off after 5pm! No Shirt, No Shoes,
No Service! No wait, those aren't the rules! These are the rules! 2
Men Enter, 2 Men Leave!
Which also seems to be the Rules for Cam’s Anus. ButtHouse.com!
Question of the Night #1: AMIDOINTHISRITE?!?
Answer: No.
A steel cage match! With barbed wire on top! Electric eels as the
ring ropes! Viet Cong screaming out “DI DI MAU!” while holding guns
to our heads! What manner of beast is this?!? This is madness!!!
No! This…is…MALE BAG!!!
Look at this fat asshole I have to defeat. Who does this piece of
shit think he is?
Oh fuck, I’m looking in a mirror. God Dammit.
Note to Self: Have all mirrors destroyed at the Golden Palace. And
make sure that filthy Hispanic, JayBee King is given the job to break
all of the mirrors so he gets all the years of bad luck. You know,
just in case that shit is real, son.
JB King, if it wasn’t for bad luck, you’d have no luck at all! HAHA!
Scratch that, I think you’d still have your hairy teeth, pants crusted
with semen from constantly jacking off when you can’t find a rape
victim in your town, (calm down Justin Creepy Drew) and an overall
body odor combination of onion, anise, Ben Gay, and Gay Ben. Speaking
of Austin Sanders...
Stuart “Stu” “Stew” Little, well, well, well. It's Optimus Prime vs
Megatron! Vader vs Luke! Astronaut vs Cosmonaut! Donnie vs Marie!
Steve Wiebe vs Billy Mitchell! Jesus vs Santa Claus!
I face the leader of the sWo, The Scotch World Order. And in this
Take No Prisoners Match, he is being escorted down to the ring by sWo
members, The Glens! Glen Fiddich, Glen Livet, Glen Morangie, and
Glengarry Glen Ross. All there to support their leader!
"Vintage Stu Little!" -Michael Cole
Well, sports fans, the sWo has me obviously outnumbered. This Golden
God will not go down without a fight.
But before we start this epic battle, I gotta ask you one thing Stu:
More like QUEER Baron, amirite?
Hi guys! Chris, glad you're okay after all that drama you went through this week. Now let's show these fools why they can't walk all over The Counts Of Monte Chris-Stu AKA Team Handsome!
*Bella Twins Theme*
Annnnd- Hot Tag To Chris. Sorry, bro. I've got to stay fresh for my Main Event ELECTRIFIED!! BARBED WIRE!! HELL IN A CELL!! match. I know you've got it though.
So, James Ryan. Or should I say, James *bleep*. There's only one Ryan around here that matters, and that's Ryan Dangerfield, former pro wrestler, current...sort of...pro gambler?
I would be lying if I said I came to this without some trepidation. You're a rising star, The Golden Voice, and a guy I really can't match when it comes to offensive jokes, even when I try
[/img]
But try I must! So, yeah...you're a Marvel guy, James, so just let me say a couple of things...
I'll begin with a SPOILER from Amazing Spider-man #700. James, your acting career is like Peter Parker: Dead.
Your 14 Minute "Spiritual Meditations" piece is like Avengers vs. X-Men: Overlong, overhyped and overpriced. And yes, I do know you did it for free.
Your penis is like Wolverine: short, hairy, overexposed, and the victim of excessive beatings.
Oh, and by the way, I really appreciate having to wait almost a whole month for the new Army of Dorkness, only for you to forgo the e-mails in favour of your co-host's rambling about the movies he's seen.
Actually, I take back what I said about your acting career. I think if you can show that sort of enthusiasm on cue, you'd be great as one of the "after" guys in pharmaceutical ads.
And on that note, I'm done. Even if I say so myself, I don't think I did too bad, especially considering I don't even lift. Well, not weights, anyway.
Later,
Stu
James Ryan
Greetings MNFlerbs! It is I, The Golden Vocal Chords, James Ryan!
Coming live and direct to you from my Golden Palace!!! Andrew, good
morgan to you. Ladies and gentlemen, let's all welcome back,
“Superstar” Chris Alt to the MNF show! So nice of you to grace us
with your Godly Presence! Cocaine is a hell of a drug, eh? JK!
Actually, I think your recent “Week of Hell” was brought on by your
apparent lack of respect for the Man-Deity known as Papa Shango. You
stepped into the “Dark Circle”, and apparently showed the Voodoo Man
disrespect, and your ass got saaaacked!
In all seriousness, your “gripping” “life updates” on Facebook have
all made us realize the trials and tribulations you have gone through
during this holiday season. We're glad and relieved you survived.
You’re like a real life “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles”. Though,
your journey probably had zero laughs and 100% of you putting your
hands in between other men’s butt cheeks. #THOSEARENTPILLOWS!!!
Calm down Steve Martin and John Candy!
What’s this? It appears we’ve been entered into a Winner Take All
Virtual Death Match of some sorts! Anything goes! High Stakes! Calm
down James Enright! #LunchBoner
Thunder Dome Rules!: Children Half Off after 5pm! No Shirt, No Shoes,
No Service! No wait, those aren't the rules! These are the rules! 2
Men Enter, 2 Men Leave!
Which also seems to be the Rules for Cam’s Anus. ButtHouse.com!
Question of the Night #1: AMIDOINTHISRITE?!?
Answer: No.
A steel cage match! With barbed wire on top! Electric eels as the
ring ropes! Viet Cong screaming out “DI DI MAU!” while holding guns
to our heads! What manner of beast is this?!? This is madness!!!
No! This…is…MALE BAG!!!
Look at this fat asshole I have to defeat. Who does this piece of
shit think he is?
Oh fuck, I’m looking in a mirror. God Dammit.
Note to Self: Have all mirrors destroyed at the Golden Palace. And
make sure that filthy Hispanic, JayBee King is given the job to break
all of the mirrors so he gets all the years of bad luck. You know,
just in case that shit is real, son.
JB King, if it wasn’t for bad luck, you’d have no luck at all! HAHA!
Scratch that, I think you’d still have your hairy teeth, pants crusted
with semen from constantly jacking off when you can’t find a rape
victim in your town, (calm down Justin Creepy Drew) and an overall
body odor combination of onion, anise, Ben Gay, and Gay Ben. Speaking
of Austin Sanders...
Stuart “Stu” “Stew” Little, well, well, well. It's Optimus Prime vs
Megatron! Vader vs Luke! Astronaut vs Cosmonaut! Donnie vs Marie!
Steve Wiebe vs Billy Mitchell! Jesus vs Santa Claus!
I face the leader of the sWo, The Scotch World Order. And in this
Take No Prisoners Match, he is being escorted down to the ring by sWo
members, The Glens! Glen Fiddich, Glen Livet, Glen Morangie, and
Glengarry Glen Ross. All there to support their leader!
"Vintage Stu Little!" -Michael Cole
Well, sports fans, the sWo has me obviously outnumbered. This Golden
God will not go down without a fight.
But before we start this epic battle, I gotta ask you one thing Stu:
