MNF 56/Male Bag 39
Jan 27, 2013 16:59:54 GMT -5
Post by Andy on Jan 27, 2013 16:59:54 GMT -5
Check out Monday Night Flaw 56 and Male Bag 39 on iTunes, Stitcher or www.flawedcast.net/mondaynightflaw then get your stupid ass back here and VOTE!!!
Jon Drouin
The big week!
Andy and Chris,
It’s been a week of great highs and terrible lows.
Last week, I thought I would be nice to Creepy. I sent an email with 17 pictures, because he doesn’t know how to read. But he didn’t like it enough to vote, so message received. No more pics from me.
But then, I was shocked to hear that my good friend Dustin Faber has suddenly turned on me. I didn’t know he was so sensitive. But whatever. Normally it would bother me a lot, but there’s too many good things going on right now. Dustin, you can say whatever you want about me, but Sticks and Stones and all that.
Speaking of Sticks, did you guys know there’s a new podcast on The Flawedcast Network? It’s called Stick 20! And I’m one of the hosts! It’s a twenty minute podcast about USA Soccer, so I’m sure there won’t be more than five downloads, but who cares! It’s my big moment. Thanks again Andy for all the support! However, to our international friends, there are upcoming games with Canada, Mexico, and even Scotland in the next few months that we will be reviewing, so please check us out! I’m so excited - so Dustin: nothing you say can bring me down.
But that’s not even the big news. There’s more! I just can’t announce it yet, because of the lawyers. But Chris – are you as excited as me? Hopefully everything gets finalized and the announcement is next week!
Take care guys,
Jon Drouin
Michael Hodge
An Actual Wrestling E-mail
Hey, Chrandy.
Bang up job by Brother Bartow on the recap show this week. Looking forward to White Men Can't Podcast.
On to business, Chris mentioned on the OO board that it would be awesome if Ziggler won the Rumble, beat del Rio into a bloody pulp at WrestleMania (getting DQed in the process), then cashed in the briefcase and took the title anyway. I love it, but as Chris mentioned, it'll never happen.
Here's an alternate theory that also won't happen. Ziggler wins the Rumble, beats del Rio clean for the SmackDown title at WrestleMania, then cashes in on the winner of Rock/Cena/Punk/Ryback (whoever's in that title match) and unifies the belts that night.
So, which scenario is more likely? And what do you think will actually happen with Ziggler's briefcase?
Have fun. Play safe.
Your pal,
~Hodgey
Cam Gullett
I am back on the malebag and I'm here to ___ the world!!
On a scale of 1 to JB King, how fucking dumb was this whole "Rock vs Indy
wrest...err...cops angle?"
I can't be the only one who immediately broke out in to sweats when a Beat
the Clock challenge was announced. No, not because I originally misheard it
as a Beat the Cock challenge, but because I immediately worried that John
Cena would win, name himself the first entrant and then win because: LOLZ
Superman!
You know what was a nice change of pace during the challenge matches?
Lawler actually following the action and intelligently pointing out that
most of the guys were using terrible logic in how they were wrestling. What
a fucking concept!
Using Beefmode Maddox as a guy to jump guardrails and then do silly/awesome
commentary is great. It seems like it is clear that Heyman is setting up
Maddox for failure, but I think that is the swerve. Nobody will think that
he will use Maddox to help Punk after weeks of turning him away so it will
make sense if Maddox ends up being the guy that helps Punk just as much as
it would make sense if Maddox ends up being the guy who screws Punk.
Speaking of which, my Wrestlemania theory is that Maddox and the Shield are
working with Heyman, but not Punk, and they end up fucking Punk over either
before or at Wrestlemania. Probably won't happen though.
Aren't Ryback and 3MB both over the concept of being in or on the end of a
squash match at this point? JTG can't job on MLK day?
Punk's promo was awesome. I am continually impressed by how Punk does not
try to get anyone to join his side, but instead keeps trying to call anyone
who supports him a fucking cuntrag, not necessarily his words.
"Hey we got this guy who is awesome and is completely over for his
wrestling ability. His catchphrase involves him stealing women, his hair is
dyed blonde, and he can be a World Heavyweight Champion anytime that we
want him to be. Wouldn't it make sense if we had him get some rub from
Flair and then take the Figure-4?" -smart guy in WWE creative.
"Daaaaaaaaah nope. Lets us give it tha Miz cuz he is daaaaa awesome, except
at the wrestling and everything else Flair was good at. Daaaaa" -dumbass
who is in charge of WWE creative.
Seriously. How difficult is it to learn how to apply the goddamn figure-4
lock properly? Fucking kill yourself, Miz.
The grauation ceremony seemed like a great idea. It ended up being pretty
good, but a little below my expectations. It could have been that I was
still so angry at the Miz though.
The Shield attacking Rock was a pleasant surprise as I didn't forsee Rock
signing up to get his ass kicked like that. It was handled well and made
sense to do it so that they could set up the whole Punk gets stripped of
the title if they interfere thing. I still expect some shenanigans during
the match though.
Cena is just dropping acid now, yes?
Del Rio is fucking gold as a face in my book. Breaking out huricanranas
against Big Show and Tensai as well as the flawless german suplex on Tensai
has made me a believer in what Del Rio can do. He will still lose the belt
to Ziggler at the Rumble or Mania though.
Finally, the big brawl at the end made sense as they do that almost every
year now, but the decision as to who got entrances and who didn't made
almost no sense. Ryback didn't get an entrance, but 3MB did?
Have a great show guys!
Cam Gullett, cohost of Kate Upton's Boobs: the Podcast and Army of Dorkness!
Bartow Florida
It's Hammerin' Buttholes Time!
Hey there folks of the Malebag Independent League of Flawedcast - Future
Underdog Career Kids (MILF-FUCK)! My name is Crispin Bradley Loftberg, or
as my friends and enemies call me "The Hammer"! I am a gay hip-hop dinosaur
from the future, and I mean bithness! In the future dinosaurs have raped
mankind into submission and taken on many aspects of the ancient hip-hop
culture, including all of the closeted homosexuality! I do tend to have
some wild weekends here in the present day, as can be seen here:
And we all know that only leads to this:
Don't judge me! We've all been there! I've even been there with Cam Gullett
multiple times! (He is so popular in the prison yard, I wonder why?)
Anyways, as the most complicated gimmick now on the MILF-FUCK roster, I now
get to make fun of all your crap gimmicks!
Austin Sanders - the homeless teen living in a van and sucking dick for
acid gimmick can only go so far, inject more racism into that persona and
you've got a bonified confused hippie gimmick on your hands!
Speaking of BONER-fied, now we come to (or on) Cam Gullett. Cam, I get it,
you're out of the closet, but enough already! And this is coming from a
giant purple butt-fucking dinosaur! I'll see you Saturday night, my little
raptor-bitch!
JB King - I don't know if anything is overplayed more than the terrorist
gimmick.
Dustin Faber - I'm a gay drug-addled dinosaur! YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
Stu - You're a Scottish virgin? Don't you guys just fuck sheep?
Scott- You're a virgin named Scott? See Stu.
Andy - Yes, refer to yourself as Der Furher, nazi gimmicks have always
worked in the past, right?
Cam - I know the fat-ass gimmick is easy, but do you really have to eat on
air to prove it? Just stinkface Andy next time you see him! (Dino-Boner!)
There are more of you to get to, but don't be worried, this gay hip-hop
dinosaur from the future will be back to rape you all! (Be it physically or
emotionally.)
Oh and while imitators may exist...
There's only one real Crispin Bradley "The Hammer" Loftberg!
Hey...wait...my head.... AAAAGGGGGGTTTTTHHHHHHH!...
Bartow Hodge
My head...
Guys, what just happened? I woke up in this weird outfit, my butt hurts
like I've been raped by a pack of triceratops, and there are these ginger
beard-hairs all over me...
Oh god... I think I know what happened... have I been a gay hip-hop
dinosaur from the future again? I just found this picture in my pocket...
Yep... I've definitely been a gay hip-hop dinosaur...
Sincerely,
Bartow Florida
Cliff Snotes
Monday Night Florida
OMG! There’s Michael Bay! I wish there was somewhere to sit next to him.
WELCOME! TO FLAW IS CLIFF SNOTES!
Hey Andy. Hey Chris.
Royal Rumble time! There’s always a few stunt entrances, but shouldn’t WWE really go all out for The Iron Sheikh this year? If he slapped Jinder Mahal and said “You have the Raisin Balls!” or locked Heath Slater into the Camel Clutch and yelled out “Old Country Way”, the internet would break.
So we’re running with “Bartow Florida”? That’s cool. Works for me. Now we just need to pull a Johnny-Nitro-becomes-John Morrison, and Bartow can start a tag team with Austin Texas.
Also Bartow - Great job on the show Monday night! It was surreal hearing your emails for months and months, and this week, suddenly hearing your voice on a podcast.
And finally…
[Insert sound of beer bottle opening] Let’s Do This.
That’s for you Faber. Cheers Andy. Cheers Chris. Isn’t beer great? Isn’t the sound of a bottle cap popping off of a beer bottle just a wonderful sound. The anticipation of the reward of the sweet nectar of a nice cold brew.
We’re not even to the one year anniversary of Male Bag, and you are already repeating story lines. But it’s different this time. Because Dustin is the heel. Yeah… that won’t insult the intelligence of our listening audience.
You want a fight Dustin? Go ahead and taunt Jon Drouin all you want, but he’s off in his little happy place, and can’t be bothered. Or he can’t understand you. Either way.
But me? Yeah, I’m ready for a fight. Anytime, bro. Anytime.
It’s just that, Dustin, you’ve missed the signs. You’ve forgotten how dangerous I can be:
See? You should’ve read the sign, man. It’s there in bold letters. STAY BACK. Ah well. You had your chance. Faber’s reckoning is coming soon.
I am wearing
And
.
I am Cliff Snotes.
Jim Enright
Attn: Malebaggers
I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You
lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis
somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common
patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin
iceholes... like yourselves.
-Army
Stu Little
NC-17 ('Nother Championship 17)
Hey guys!
Well, well, well...Johnny boy. You talked a big game and you once again went to the virgin well for jokes but I got DP! Double Prestige!
So I'm a 17 time champion now. One more win and BVA will have no more interest in my record.
Not going to get too ambitious this week. I'm good for now, so I think I've earned the right to sit back, relax and watch some TV:
Bartow was a great fill in this week. So much so that a new name I'd like to suggest for him is Chris Alternate, because he can stand in for him any time as far as I'm concerned.
Guys, go easy on Austin Sanders for his recent um...lackadaisical efforts. As I understand it, he's been a bit busy of late, getting his own movie off the ground
Watching this week's Raw, as I viewed the backstage bits with The Rock, the Cops and Vickie, I have to ask...how corrupt is the San Jose police department? Because Vickie said those cops' superior said they had to do as she said or get suspended. I don't think the law works like that. Then again, this is the same company that did a storyline where Vince was sued anonymously in a paternity suit. Cos that's how due process works, right? I wonder if David Otunga's career is in the state it is because every time he tries to correct a mistake like that, he gets slapped down to appearing on Superstars.
Otunga: Hey Vince, you know, if Sheamus films himself stealing Del Rio's car, then from a legal perspective, he's pretty much-
Vince: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU'RRRRREEEEEEEE.... JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!
Take care,
Stu
Dustin Faber
Do a barrel roll!
Johnny Bellfield
Shooting up in Santa Cruz...
Hello again to Ginger Ale Langston and Giggles Hodge,
Great episode with Andy and Bart-tard. Informative. Until you mocked the
Rock for being childish and immature. On this network? Really Bro? Last
time I checked ‘Male Bag’ wasn’t a typo. Just saying. Tell you what, next
week, we all mock each other like it’s the 90’s. Bring on the hate of
‘biatch’ and ‘fartknocker’. Speaking of things that need to stay back in
the 90’s.
qkme.me/3spsn6
Jonathan Huggins! Great recap, almost. You couldn’t even hang in there for
a whole episode. Only the brave can muster up doing an entire episode I
suppose. But then again, watching Honey BooBoo is the equivalent of
masturbation. Embarrassing to do in front of people, and too much of it
will eventually make you go blind. Calm down Brian. Oh and Chris, you’re
not out of the bet. You still need to do an episode. No British aid for you
buddy.
Update on the Johnny and Austin show. It’s in the works. Why is it called
the Johnny and Austin show? Well, I gave Austin a fair shot on whose name
goes first. We flipped a coin. But instead of yelling heads or tails, he
just said the n word. So he got disqualified.
qkme.me/3spspo
Christ this guy is obnoxious. Almost as obnoxious and annoying as Andy
“opening a cold one”. We get it, you douchey drunk. Beer is available in
your house. Cool bro. Tell you what, just make that a sound bite and loop
it for 20 minutes. It’ll be more promising and refreshing than ‘Stick 20’.
Sorry Jon, I don’t mind soccer. But why cut out what soccer people will
talk about like the English Premier League or even the bottom of the barrel
MLS. But no, just the world cup. That’s good news for us Yankees. If I
wanted to listen to a sports show with teams who have no promise, I’d just
listen to ‘Wait Til Next Year’ and listen to Nate slit his baby arms with a
closed staple.
Oh that’s right Dustin is a heel now right? Strait Edge Congress or
Continent or Cunts? First of all, I think we all know that NOTHING good
comes from the SEC. Dustin, come on buddy. Do you REALLY want to be
involved with this guy?
qkme.me/3spsrn
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW! ERMERGERD!
Onto Raw, how the hell did you guys miss the horrible attempt of a figure
four that Miz was trying to do on Dolph Ziggler? It should have been named
“Dustin Faber’s nightmare”, because it was an abortion. It was worse than
Rock doing a sharpshooter, or Khali trying to sell, or BVA’s pick-up lines.
And by that I mean Brian using strange mispronounced words like “thexy” and
“wavishing”. That’s sexy and ravishing for those keeping at home. Teeheehee
I’m thuch an ath-hole. In any case, Miz’s submission should be called the
“The figure fuck it”. Oh and there’s this too.
qkme.me/3spswn
Speaking of cocaine, how about that Hug out segment! Personally, I feel
that we need to do this too. Except the hugging, that’s too soft. We need
something that makes you feel better than a hug. I got it! Everyone, CUM!
That’s right. Cum it out. EVERYONE CUM! Go on guys don’t be shy, make each
other cum! You in the front row, with the huge tits, cum for me. (watches
James Enright cum) Alright, you smuggling that 8 year old with a chloroform
rag, you two gotta cum! (watches Brian cum) And you, handling those
sailors, make them cu-oh my- nevermind, Cam is waaay ahead of me…
Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with me? As a final thought on the Rumble,
deal with it biatches…
i.imgur.com/dUgsjwU.gif
Johnny
Jon Drouin
The big week!
Andy and Chris,
It’s been a week of great highs and terrible lows.
Last week, I thought I would be nice to Creepy. I sent an email with 17 pictures, because he doesn’t know how to read. But he didn’t like it enough to vote, so message received. No more pics from me.
But then, I was shocked to hear that my good friend Dustin Faber has suddenly turned on me. I didn’t know he was so sensitive. But whatever. Normally it would bother me a lot, but there’s too many good things going on right now. Dustin, you can say whatever you want about me, but Sticks and Stones and all that.
Speaking of Sticks, did you guys know there’s a new podcast on The Flawedcast Network? It’s called Stick 20! And I’m one of the hosts! It’s a twenty minute podcast about USA Soccer, so I’m sure there won’t be more than five downloads, but who cares! It’s my big moment. Thanks again Andy for all the support! However, to our international friends, there are upcoming games with Canada, Mexico, and even Scotland in the next few months that we will be reviewing, so please check us out! I’m so excited - so Dustin: nothing you say can bring me down.
But that’s not even the big news. There’s more! I just can’t announce it yet, because of the lawyers. But Chris – are you as excited as me? Hopefully everything gets finalized and the announcement is next week!
Take care guys,
Jon Drouin
Michael Hodge
An Actual Wrestling E-mail
Hey, Chrandy.
Bang up job by Brother Bartow on the recap show this week. Looking forward to White Men Can't Podcast.
On to business, Chris mentioned on the OO board that it would be awesome if Ziggler won the Rumble, beat del Rio into a bloody pulp at WrestleMania (getting DQed in the process), then cashed in the briefcase and took the title anyway. I love it, but as Chris mentioned, it'll never happen.
Here's an alternate theory that also won't happen. Ziggler wins the Rumble, beats del Rio clean for the SmackDown title at WrestleMania, then cashes in on the winner of Rock/Cena/Punk/Ryback (whoever's in that title match) and unifies the belts that night.
So, which scenario is more likely? And what do you think will actually happen with Ziggler's briefcase?
Have fun. Play safe.
Your pal,
~Hodgey
Cam Gullett
I am back on the malebag and I'm here to ___ the world!!
On a scale of 1 to JB King, how fucking dumb was this whole "Rock vs Indy
wrest...err...cops angle?"
I can't be the only one who immediately broke out in to sweats when a Beat
the Clock challenge was announced. No, not because I originally misheard it
as a Beat the Cock challenge, but because I immediately worried that John
Cena would win, name himself the first entrant and then win because: LOLZ
Superman!
You know what was a nice change of pace during the challenge matches?
Lawler actually following the action and intelligently pointing out that
most of the guys were using terrible logic in how they were wrestling. What
a fucking concept!
Using Beefmode Maddox as a guy to jump guardrails and then do silly/awesome
commentary is great. It seems like it is clear that Heyman is setting up
Maddox for failure, but I think that is the swerve. Nobody will think that
he will use Maddox to help Punk after weeks of turning him away so it will
make sense if Maddox ends up being the guy that helps Punk just as much as
it would make sense if Maddox ends up being the guy who screws Punk.
Speaking of which, my Wrestlemania theory is that Maddox and the Shield are
working with Heyman, but not Punk, and they end up fucking Punk over either
before or at Wrestlemania. Probably won't happen though.
Aren't Ryback and 3MB both over the concept of being in or on the end of a
squash match at this point? JTG can't job on MLK day?
Punk's promo was awesome. I am continually impressed by how Punk does not
try to get anyone to join his side, but instead keeps trying to call anyone
who supports him a fucking cuntrag, not necessarily his words.
"Hey we got this guy who is awesome and is completely over for his
wrestling ability. His catchphrase involves him stealing women, his hair is
dyed blonde, and he can be a World Heavyweight Champion anytime that we
want him to be. Wouldn't it make sense if we had him get some rub from
Flair and then take the Figure-4?" -smart guy in WWE creative.
"Daaaaaaaaah nope. Lets us give it tha Miz cuz he is daaaaa awesome, except
at the wrestling and everything else Flair was good at. Daaaaa" -dumbass
who is in charge of WWE creative.
Seriously. How difficult is it to learn how to apply the goddamn figure-4
lock properly? Fucking kill yourself, Miz.
The grauation ceremony seemed like a great idea. It ended up being pretty
good, but a little below my expectations. It could have been that I was
still so angry at the Miz though.
The Shield attacking Rock was a pleasant surprise as I didn't forsee Rock
signing up to get his ass kicked like that. It was handled well and made
sense to do it so that they could set up the whole Punk gets stripped of
the title if they interfere thing. I still expect some shenanigans during
the match though.
Cena is just dropping acid now, yes?
Del Rio is fucking gold as a face in my book. Breaking out huricanranas
against Big Show and Tensai as well as the flawless german suplex on Tensai
has made me a believer in what Del Rio can do. He will still lose the belt
to Ziggler at the Rumble or Mania though.
Finally, the big brawl at the end made sense as they do that almost every
year now, but the decision as to who got entrances and who didn't made
almost no sense. Ryback didn't get an entrance, but 3MB did?
Have a great show guys!
Cam Gullett, cohost of Kate Upton's Boobs: the Podcast and Army of Dorkness!
Bartow Florida
It's Hammerin' Buttholes Time!
Hey there folks of the Malebag Independent League of Flawedcast - Future
Underdog Career Kids (MILF-FUCK)! My name is Crispin Bradley Loftberg, or
as my friends and enemies call me "The Hammer"! I am a gay hip-hop dinosaur
from the future, and I mean bithness! In the future dinosaurs have raped
mankind into submission and taken on many aspects of the ancient hip-hop
culture, including all of the closeted homosexuality! I do tend to have
some wild weekends here in the present day, as can be seen here:
And we all know that only leads to this:
Don't judge me! We've all been there! I've even been there with Cam Gullett
multiple times! (He is so popular in the prison yard, I wonder why?)
Anyways, as the most complicated gimmick now on the MILF-FUCK roster, I now
get to make fun of all your crap gimmicks!
Austin Sanders - the homeless teen living in a van and sucking dick for
acid gimmick can only go so far, inject more racism into that persona and
you've got a bonified confused hippie gimmick on your hands!
Speaking of BONER-fied, now we come to (or on) Cam Gullett. Cam, I get it,
you're out of the closet, but enough already! And this is coming from a
giant purple butt-fucking dinosaur! I'll see you Saturday night, my little
raptor-bitch!
JB King - I don't know if anything is overplayed more than the terrorist
gimmick.
Dustin Faber - I'm a gay drug-addled dinosaur! YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
Stu - You're a Scottish virgin? Don't you guys just fuck sheep?
Scott- You're a virgin named Scott? See Stu.
Andy - Yes, refer to yourself as Der Furher, nazi gimmicks have always
worked in the past, right?
Cam - I know the fat-ass gimmick is easy, but do you really have to eat on
air to prove it? Just stinkface Andy next time you see him! (Dino-Boner!)
There are more of you to get to, but don't be worried, this gay hip-hop
dinosaur from the future will be back to rape you all! (Be it physically or
emotionally.)
Oh and while imitators may exist...
There's only one real Crispin Bradley "The Hammer" Loftberg!
Hey...wait...my head.... AAAAGGGGGGTTTTTHHHHHHH!...
Bartow Hodge
My head...
Guys, what just happened? I woke up in this weird outfit, my butt hurts
like I've been raped by a pack of triceratops, and there are these ginger
beard-hairs all over me...
Oh god... I think I know what happened... have I been a gay hip-hop
dinosaur from the future again? I just found this picture in my pocket...
Yep... I've definitely been a gay hip-hop dinosaur...
Sincerely,
Bartow Florida
Cliff Snotes
Monday Night Florida
OMG! There’s Michael Bay! I wish there was somewhere to sit next to him.
WELCOME! TO FLAW IS CLIFF SNOTES!
Hey Andy. Hey Chris.
Royal Rumble time! There’s always a few stunt entrances, but shouldn’t WWE really go all out for The Iron Sheikh this year? If he slapped Jinder Mahal and said “You have the Raisin Balls!” or locked Heath Slater into the Camel Clutch and yelled out “Old Country Way”, the internet would break.
So we’re running with “Bartow Florida”? That’s cool. Works for me. Now we just need to pull a Johnny-Nitro-becomes-John Morrison, and Bartow can start a tag team with Austin Texas.
Also Bartow - Great job on the show Monday night! It was surreal hearing your emails for months and months, and this week, suddenly hearing your voice on a podcast.
And finally…
[Insert sound of beer bottle opening] Let’s Do This.
That’s for you Faber. Cheers Andy. Cheers Chris. Isn’t beer great? Isn’t the sound of a bottle cap popping off of a beer bottle just a wonderful sound. The anticipation of the reward of the sweet nectar of a nice cold brew.
We’re not even to the one year anniversary of Male Bag, and you are already repeating story lines. But it’s different this time. Because Dustin is the heel. Yeah… that won’t insult the intelligence of our listening audience.
You want a fight Dustin? Go ahead and taunt Jon Drouin all you want, but he’s off in his little happy place, and can’t be bothered. Or he can’t understand you. Either way.
But me? Yeah, I’m ready for a fight. Anytime, bro. Anytime.
It’s just that, Dustin, you’ve missed the signs. You’ve forgotten how dangerous I can be:
See? You should’ve read the sign, man. It’s there in bold letters. STAY BACK. Ah well. You had your chance. Faber’s reckoning is coming soon.
I am wearing
And
.
I am Cliff Snotes.
Jim Enright
Attn: Malebaggers
I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You
lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis
somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common
patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin
iceholes... like yourselves.
-Army
Stu Little
NC-17 ('Nother Championship 17)
Hey guys!
Well, well, well...Johnny boy. You talked a big game and you once again went to the virgin well for jokes but I got DP! Double Prestige!
So I'm a 17 time champion now. One more win and BVA will have no more interest in my record.
Not going to get too ambitious this week. I'm good for now, so I think I've earned the right to sit back, relax and watch some TV:
Bartow was a great fill in this week. So much so that a new name I'd like to suggest for him is Chris Alternate, because he can stand in for him any time as far as I'm concerned.
Guys, go easy on Austin Sanders for his recent um...lackadaisical efforts. As I understand it, he's been a bit busy of late, getting his own movie off the ground
Watching this week's Raw, as I viewed the backstage bits with The Rock, the Cops and Vickie, I have to ask...how corrupt is the San Jose police department? Because Vickie said those cops' superior said they had to do as she said or get suspended. I don't think the law works like that. Then again, this is the same company that did a storyline where Vince was sued anonymously in a paternity suit. Cos that's how due process works, right? I wonder if David Otunga's career is in the state it is because every time he tries to correct a mistake like that, he gets slapped down to appearing on Superstars.
Otunga: Hey Vince, you know, if Sheamus films himself stealing Del Rio's car, then from a legal perspective, he's pretty much-
Vince: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU'RRRRREEEEEEEE.... JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!
Take care,
Stu
Dustin Faber
Do a barrel roll!
Johnny Bellfield
Shooting up in Santa Cruz...
Hello again to Ginger Ale Langston and Giggles Hodge,
Great episode with Andy and Bart-tard. Informative. Until you mocked the
Rock for being childish and immature. On this network? Really Bro? Last
time I checked ‘Male Bag’ wasn’t a typo. Just saying. Tell you what, next
week, we all mock each other like it’s the 90’s. Bring on the hate of
‘biatch’ and ‘fartknocker’. Speaking of things that need to stay back in
the 90’s.
qkme.me/3spsn6
Jonathan Huggins! Great recap, almost. You couldn’t even hang in there for
a whole episode. Only the brave can muster up doing an entire episode I
suppose. But then again, watching Honey BooBoo is the equivalent of
masturbation. Embarrassing to do in front of people, and too much of it
will eventually make you go blind. Calm down Brian. Oh and Chris, you’re
not out of the bet. You still need to do an episode. No British aid for you
buddy.
Update on the Johnny and Austin show. It’s in the works. Why is it called
the Johnny and Austin show? Well, I gave Austin a fair shot on whose name
goes first. We flipped a coin. But instead of yelling heads or tails, he
just said the n word. So he got disqualified.
qkme.me/3spspo
Christ this guy is obnoxious. Almost as obnoxious and annoying as Andy
“opening a cold one”. We get it, you douchey drunk. Beer is available in
your house. Cool bro. Tell you what, just make that a sound bite and loop
it for 20 minutes. It’ll be more promising and refreshing than ‘Stick 20’.
Sorry Jon, I don’t mind soccer. But why cut out what soccer people will
talk about like the English Premier League or even the bottom of the barrel
MLS. But no, just the world cup. That’s good news for us Yankees. If I
wanted to listen to a sports show with teams who have no promise, I’d just
listen to ‘Wait Til Next Year’ and listen to Nate slit his baby arms with a
closed staple.
Oh that’s right Dustin is a heel now right? Strait Edge Congress or
Continent or Cunts? First of all, I think we all know that NOTHING good
comes from the SEC. Dustin, come on buddy. Do you REALLY want to be
involved with this guy?
qkme.me/3spsrn
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW! ERMERGERD!
Onto Raw, how the hell did you guys miss the horrible attempt of a figure
four that Miz was trying to do on Dolph Ziggler? It should have been named
“Dustin Faber’s nightmare”, because it was an abortion. It was worse than
Rock doing a sharpshooter, or Khali trying to sell, or BVA’s pick-up lines.
And by that I mean Brian using strange mispronounced words like “thexy” and
“wavishing”. That’s sexy and ravishing for those keeping at home. Teeheehee
I’m thuch an ath-hole. In any case, Miz’s submission should be called the
“The figure fuck it”. Oh and there’s this too.
qkme.me/3spswn
Speaking of cocaine, how about that Hug out segment! Personally, I feel
that we need to do this too. Except the hugging, that’s too soft. We need
something that makes you feel better than a hug. I got it! Everyone, CUM!
That’s right. Cum it out. EVERYONE CUM! Go on guys don’t be shy, make each
other cum! You in the front row, with the huge tits, cum for me. (watches
James Enright cum) Alright, you smuggling that 8 year old with a chloroform
rag, you two gotta cum! (watches Brian cum) And you, handling those
sailors, make them cu-oh my- nevermind, Cam is waaay ahead of me…
Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with me? As a final thought on the Rumble,
deal with it biatches…
i.imgur.com/dUgsjwU.gif
Johnny
