[Andy]

Listen to MNF 60 and Male Bag 43 on iTunes, Stitcher or www.flawedcast.net/mondaynightflaw then get your stupid ass back here and VOTE!!!

And don't forget to vote for the better rappist in the rap battle!!!
natecorbitt.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=kotr&thread=9457


Jon Drouin
Rap Battle 2: Electr​ic Boogaloo​

Andy (and Chris) ,


So there's two big things going on right now.


First of all, there's a RAP BATTLE later in this episode that I am so excited about. I just can't wait. I wish I could be involved in some way. I hope it turns out great!


But sadly, there's a real life battle going on, too. Two of my good friends - actually two of favorite people are in a bit of an argument right now. You and Cam Gullett.


I wish there was something I could do.


Wait! There is something I can do! This will be great.


Andy, I'm going to help get you and Cam get on the same page and resolve your differences AND at the same time, I'm going to help your vocal chords warm up for the big rap battle.


This song is for Andy to sing to Cam! Hit it!





Been away, haven't seen you in a while.
How've you been?
Have you changed your style and do you think
That we've grown up differently? Don't seem the same
Seems you've lost your feel for me


So let's leave it alone, 'cause we can't see eye to eye.
There ain't no good guys, there ain't no bad guys.
There's only you and me and we just disagree.
Ooo - ooo - ooohoo oh - oh - o-whoa


I'm going back to a place that's far away. How bout you?
Have you got a place to stay? Why should I care?
When I'm just trying to get along We were friends
But now it's the end of our love song...


So let's leave it alone, 'cause we can't see eye to eye.
There ain't no good guys, there ain't no bad guys.
There's only you and me and we just disagree.
Ooo - ooo - ooohoo oh - oh - o-whoa


So let's leave it alone, 'cause we can't see eye to eye.
There ain't no good guys, there ain't no bad guys.
There's only you and me and we just disagree.
Ooo - ooo - ooohoo oh - oh - o-whoa






Thanks Andy,


Jon Drouin


Cliff Snotes
I hate following Jon​ Drouin​


Hey Chris,


I was thinking that as you're about to enter into a rap battle, that you should warm up your pipes.


Hit it!




Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
A little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind blows)
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo Figaro - magnifico

But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go - will you let me go
Bismillah! No - we will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go - let me go (never)
Never let you go - let me go
Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me
for me
for me

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh baby - can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters - nothing really matters to me

Anyway the wind blows...
Lyrics from <a href="http://www.elyrics.net">eLyrics.net</a>



Ziggy Blumenthal
Question

Why is Andy's dick so small?

-Ziggy


Austin Sanders
Bang

*And now..........the conclusion from last weeks email*

NOW RISE THETALLONE! RISE!
*Gets run over by a car*

J.R- "GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! FOR GODS SAKE! THAT CAR JUST RAN OVER AUSTIN"

*Austin explodes on impact. It's the most racist explosion ever.*







Michael Demko
My first title belt.​..​

Andy and Chris,

Since I didn't get to celebrate my first ever Male Bag title win last week,
I thought I'd take this week to thank the little people, who helped
contribute to my success:

1. Stu Little - Firstly Stu, thank you for exerting so little effort in the
week I won my title. If you had remotely put forth any effort AT ALL, I'm
certain you'd have won your 20th title a week earlier, hereby exceeding
Chris Alt's infamous '20 Male Bag titles by February 19th' prediction. He
would have looked like a sage for the ages. So thank you for being lazier
than a dead cat in this lazy attempt at a metaphor.

2. Bartow Florida - Thank you for your competitive spirit. I enjoyed
verbally sparring with you last week. Bartow Florida? More like "Bartow's a
Whore-ida", am I right? Thanks for using that same joke over and over
again, Bartow. You are about as original as a Carlos Mencia/Dane Cook think
tank.

3. My wife, the Intercontinental Champion, Tasha Demko - Thank you,
especially. I married you for a reason. Obviously, that reason was to have
someone around who ignores me 90% of the time, except for those times you
want to buy clothes, shoes. I would say that you're the most annoying and
frustrating wife ever, but I'm fairly certain Nancy Benoit had that one
locked down. Knowing that, I'll just say this... The dogs are in the
enclosed pool area. Garage side door is open.

4. I'd like to thank Andy Gaston and Chris Alt, for introducing the world
to a concept like the Male Bag. It's because of you guys that people like
us can compete on a weekly basis, and prove to the world just how fucking
useless Cam Gullett is.

5. Speaking of which, I'd finally like to thank Cam - if it weren't for
you, sir, I wouldn't have blood pressure problems, I probably wouldn't have
as much gray hair, and I certainly wouldn't want to punch a baby every time
you start an argument with people over stupid, pointless things. You, sir,
are about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. You're like that T-Rex
that the Orlando Magic drafted at power forward. You're as pointless as a
snooze button on a smoke alarm. You're as useful as laptop fridge magnets.
You're as pointless as subplots in a porno. You're as useless as the condom
machine in the Sistine Chapel men's room. You're as pathetic as the Cubs in
October (Listen to Wait 'Til Next Year, exclusively on the Flawedcast
network!) - Do us all a favor. Next time you're shaving that creepy beard
of yours, stand an inch or two closer to the razor.

I'll hang up now and listen...

Michael Demko
Co-Host of TV For Vendetta
Master of Demko's Dungeon

p.s. I should probably have thanked Scott Taylor too, but while listening
to this week's TNA Impact Recap, I fell asleep and dreamed that I already
thanked Scott Taylor. And that's good enough for me.


Michael Hodge
Rap me. Rap me, my f​riends. Rap me. Rap ​me again.​

Hey, Chrandy.

I wrote the majority of this before Andy decided to make the tag team tiebreak a rap battle, so I'm sending it anyway. Feel free to use it as a warmup for what I'm sure will be superior raps to follow.

My name is
MC Maple—the Original Hod-G
Got more
rhymes than times Demko says “literally”

I’ve got
mad skills like Papa Shango’s got voodoo
I’ve got
better moves than the Bella Twins: Brie and Mama Booboo

My
current wrestling knowledge is sparse at best
I haven’t
really watched since HHH was feuding with Test

I’m a proud
Canuck with bacon grease in my veins
But I drink
so much beer that I’ve addled my brains

I’d take a
shot at Cam, the easiest target in the nation
But he
wouldn’t hear it anyway, he’s “addressing a situation”

Aye, Stuart
Little swings a katana like a surgeon
He tries to
impress the ladies, but he still remains a virgin

JB King and
Austin Sanders are an Arab and a youth
They’re
also really racist and a little bit uncouth

The Baron
James Ryan calls himself the Golden Voice
He didn’t
lose a bet, he has that hobo beard by choice

Serpiente Enmascarada, John Drouin, or Cliff Snotes
It doesn’t
matter what your name is, all your e-mails blow goats

Der Fuhrer
Andy Gaston gave us this Network as a gift
But the
question we’re all asking: “Dude, do you even lift?”

Chris Alt
rarely shows up
…

I’m the
sole Grand Slam Champ here, not sure how that happened
I guess
because I didn’t rely on gimmicks like rappin’

The hockey show
Network's called IHOP
The ratings
are in: we’re one away from the top

When I say
IHIP, you say IHOP

IHIP (IHOP)

IHIP (IHOP)

When I say
IHIP, you say IHOP

IHIP (IHOP)

IHIP (IHOP)

I hope by
now, Chris is in hysterics
I’m about
to drop the mic because I’m running out of lyrics

If you want
to talk hockey or anything at all
Send an
e-mail to IHOP or give us a call

[e-mail]
for your e-mails
Note to self: insert line
about hoes and other females

Call
760-896-IHOP
Find our
Twitter and Facebook, now it’s time for me to stop

Have fun. Play safe.

Your pal,

~Hodgey


Johnny Bellfield
Sup Fuckos!​

Hey fuckos! I'll make this quick.

Congrats to Stu.

Demko is cooking the books. Someone look into that.

Chris is a jerk for intentionally trying to no sell all of my jokes last
week. But Karma came in and caused him to shit his pants. So I'm satisfied
enough without winning email of the week. Oh but don't worry Chris, I'll
still plug your solo episode of Gamer and Proud this week. CHECK IT OUT
EVERYBODY!

If Big D Negro is still contributing, I will make a Clayton Bigsby like
character from Chappelle Show to even it out net week...WHITE POWER!!!

Mom jokes eh Demko? Alright, let's start pulling some real punches then.
What's the difference between Demko's wife and his jokes? I've never
dislocated my index and middle finger inside one of his jokes.

Lastly, expect a Honey BooBoo recap as well a regular email from me next
week, so step your game up you fuckos.

Bye Fuckos,
Johnny


Stu Little
Sandow Mode: ACTIVAT​ED​


Greetings and salutations, Andrew and Christopher, esteemed compatriots. Or are you? For I feel somewhat slighted this day by the peculiar transpiring of events that occurred on the recap show this week. One moment, I was declared the undisputed victor of the World Championship Bout, by the reckoning of both of you gentlemen. A binding decree, surely? Alas, it was not! For following the departure of Mr. Alt, the decision was changed I was denied my one score of victories and instead placed into an impasse with James Ryan. I do not blame you for this Christopher, for you had been present to the announcement of my win and thus should have been free to go about your business, be it academic, familial, or professional.
If one was a more paranoid individual, one would suspect this was a deliberate outcome engineered by your cohort, Andrew. It is undeniable that I am the most enduring contributor to this humble programme, and the numerous tiebreakers that have become common recently have no doubt bolstered the marquee appeal of the episodes. Is it not possible- nay, PROBABLE that Andrew saw an opportunity to further increase the drawing power of the show by engineering a rap battle? Nonetheless I will endeavour to do my best, but I demand a formal inquiry into the matter following this episode!

Before I move on, I'd like to say to Christopher...REJOICE! For hark, the latest instalment of one of your favourite periodicals has been published!


Commiserations to Bartow Florida for his failure to capture the tag team championships. Your premeditated murder of a member of an endangered species was all for naught, it seems. You cannot truly even take credit for that either, for clearly the voodoo practices of James Ryan are ultimately the cause of Crispin's downfall. Lest you point out that James' curse came AFTER the dinosaur's fate, I would remind you that Crispin came from the future, and thus James technically cursed him before he was even born. Wibbly Wobbly, Timey Wimey, and such. With that said, it is perhaps for the best that this happened. Given how Loftberg's arm size was found wanting, I doubt he would have found much success in any attempts towards levitating, brother.

Between the above tag team victory and my upcoming quest for the World Title, I will NOT be competing for the Intercontinental Championship. So worry not, Demko. Your mewling quim of a wife has no cause to fear besmirchment from me, be it through insults or an insistence that she return to the scullery to prepare us refreshments of a bread and filling nature.

Ms. Leesa Kern, I hope you do contribute more to this show, and that your compliments on my accent are not part of a Pagan scheme to kidnap me for a virgin sacrifice.

To the gentleman known as "Big D". Assuming you are not Austin Sanders using an alias, I have a rebuttal for several of your remarks. For one, I am not Irish. I am a Celt of the Caledonian nature. Secondly, the physical proportions of my reproductive system are no business of yours and your fixation on such is cause for concern on my part. Thirdly, I do not possess follicles that produce hair of a crimson hue be it on my scalp, pubic area or anywhere else on my anatomy. For that you would have to consult my friend Camish McGullett:

So in closing, sir, I would suggest you cease attempting to provoke conflict. I wish you no ill, but should I be pressed to a sufficient degree, I am more than capable of visiting grievous harm upon your person, you ill-mannered, misanthropic ragamuffin. An amusingly distracting ill-mannered, misanthropic ragamuffin, but an ill-mannered, misanthropic ragamuffin all the same.

If you want my opinion on the new WWE Title, it is the following (no, not the Kevin Bacon television show of the same name, but the subsequent statement): it is technically superior to the old one, but still resembles something that would be carried around by an eight year old(compose yourself, Brian).

With all these matters addressed, now we get to the business of the World Championship and how I must (under duress) compete in a battle rap. Hmm. I understand, I have displayed an efficacy in rhyming so great as to be paradoxically described as "ill", so it behooves me to comply. Though it will require me to shed my more civil ways to adopt the "Scott Land" persona as I am wont to do in such circumstances as this. Just let it be known James that I don't mean anything I say...well accept the bit about you being a terrible actor. *clears throat*

*Beat*

SCOTT LAND!

2013...AGAIN!

VOODOO KILT MAFIA: THE CIVIL WAR!

ARMY OF DORKNESS VS. ARMY NEAR LOCH NESS!

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah-

Scott Land is hear to beat down the Golden Voice,
He'll be wishing soon his mama had been more Pro Choice,
I hope this match won't deal our team too big a rift,
Cos when I'm done with you bro, you won't even lift,
You can dress as Papa now, and try to bring me scares,
But I'll be left standing, to tell you "Who cares"!

Rapping, just like acting, is something you will botch,
You're gonna end the night alone, weeping in your Scotch,
Better quit now, your meat is all you'll beat,
But what do you expect? You've got an alias called "Skeet"!
Got the edge now, gonna peel you like an oh-range,
Golden Voice? Bitch please! You ain't got no range!

You can't even sing, I've seen pics of your dance,
You look like Nate Corbitt is scurrying in your pants,
PUNSHOUSE.COOOOOM, that is my house,
I've got all the cheese, that's why they call me Mouse,
Try to bring up kilts, or even dare say Haggis,
I'll lock you up with Cam, and you'll see who the f*g is!

Peace!

Stuart William Little BSc

P.S. You're Welcome.


James Ryan
Rap time​

Uh! Uh! Yeah, uh, uh, turn that beat up. Yeah! Uh! Yeah, I can't
hear the beat in my headphones. Turn that beat up, I'm serious. Yeah,
I'm goin' drop it like this. 1, 2, 1, 2. Here I come, ya'll ready?
Uh! Put some bass in the beat, yeah! Where's my snare?!? Like that,
son! Y'all ready? Uh! Uh! This single bout to go double Uranium!
Uh! This how it goes! Yeah!

My name is James
And I'm here to say
Stuart Little is totally gay.


*drops mic*

[Jack Quinn]

TL:DNR

needs more OOWF