[wyattcox]

(The Awakening, minus Chloe, are all seated in a living room setting, discussing their strategies for the night. Chloe comes in, her dyed red hair freshly touched up. She pushes Agrarius away from his position next to Ecosystem. Chloe sits next to Eco on the couch, cuddling up next to him and lightly stroking his arm.)

Chloe: Juni, I didn’t get to properly thank you for saving me.

Eco: We can discuss that later, Chloe.

Chloe: Still, do you have any special instructions tonight for me?

(Eco turns to Chloe and looks deep into her eyes.)

Eco: Chloebear, you and your sister are to go out there and make examples of everyone out there. Show them why the Awakening chose the Sisters of Sin. Show them why when push comes to shove, the Awakening will continue to rise as the cream of the OOWF, and that one man needs to understand what he lost when the Sisters of Sin didn’t get the backup they deserved.

Chloe: (Nodding) Yes, Juni, whatever you say.

Eco: (Running his finger down her cheek) By any means necessary, Chloebear. By any means necessary.

(Chloe mimics the gesture down Ecosystem’s cheek, then gently kisses him on the cheek.)

Chloe: Thank you, Juni. I will make you proud.

Eco: I know you will. (Turning to the others) I know you will all make me proud.

Tytan: All their heroes are dead.

Eco: But we will save them.

(Chloe gets up and hugs her sister and Beverly and shakes Tytan’s hand before sitting back down next to Ecosystem, cuddling up. Eco has a slightly uncomfortable look on his face as Chloe strokes his arm again. Bev turns to Edra and mouths the words “She knows?” Edra nods her head as the camera fades.)

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman and Chad are getting in some last minute practicing. Chad is doing a dropkick to no one and Fire is following it up with a Best Fire Sault ever onto no one, so she lands on her feet.

CM: C'mon....

FW: We NEED a body.

CM: Fine...you...Puck Dupp. Get in here.

Puck Dupp points to himself, then looks around to see if there's anyone else named Puck Dupp. Seeing none, he sort of reluctantly gets in the ring. Fire climbs to the top of the turnbuckle and waits, while Puck and Chad spar a bit, and then Chad sets him up for the big drop kick. Puck falls to the mat and Fire jumps....she lands it, but it's just kind of soft.

CM: That was a little soft.

FW: Well, I don't to hurt him....

Fire helps him up.

FW: You were one of the Awoken, weren't you?

PD: Yeah...

FW: How'd that work out for ya?

PD: Very funny.

FW: That's the problem, Chad. He's an Awoken--

PD: Not anymore!

FW: --so he's not even close to inspiring me to violence.

CM: I could tell you I saw Shannon and Stank talking earlier?

FW: Very funny, but he doesn't look like Shannon, or anyone else. And I am NOT JEALOUS!

CM: Hmmm....one sec....

Chad rolls out of the ring and disappears.

FW: *yelling* You know we have a match in like hours, right?

Chad comes back in with a t-shirt and throws it to Puck Dupp.

CM:  Put that on.  Climb on up, toots.

Fire glares at him for the nickname, and he and Puck run through it again. Again, missile drop kick, and then Puck falls. Fire looks down and sees he's wearing an Ecosystem t-shirt. Fire grins evilly and flies...this time landing it HARD, Fire gets up and stands menacingly over Puck as he kind of folds in half and rolls away. Fire stands and looks at Chad.

FW: That'll do it.

CM: Okay, let's go beat up on your future in-laws.

FW: Don't rush me...

    FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE

[Chris Eco]

(Mai is sitting alone backstage, holding her Intercontinental Championship in her hands. She stares at the championship . . . looks up briefly, chuckles to herself, and looks back down.)

Mai: Alexander Darling. I've told you so many times how much I loved watching you on TV as a young girl. I wanted to learn to move in that ring just like Alexander Darling could move. To fly like he flies. And now, a week into winning this championship on a roll-up, I'm facing this veteran at the height of his power, at his most nefarious, surrounded by his personal army. How could I be anything other than an underdog?

(Mai looks up, smiling, and throws her belt over her shoulder as she stands.)

Mai: I don't feel like an underdog, Alexander. Good luck tonight.

(Mai walks off camera.)

FADE

[Road Warrior Shark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (Show 725)

Whittier, Alaska

January 27, 2016

Eric Donavan v Agrius

A few smart ass drunk kids sing "Age of Agrius." as Royalty's big man makes his way to the ring (Note that the writer of this match admits that's a horrible, horrible attempt at a joke and does apologize). "Dragonfly" by Shaman's Harvest brings down Eric Donovan. Agrius quickly attacks as Donovan gets in the ring and this one is underway.

Agrius starts nailing Donovan with hard punches and clubbing forearms to the back. He whips Donovan off the ropes and tries a big boot, but Donovan catches it and turns it into the Red Dragon Suplex. Agrius gets to his feet and Donovan springs off the ropes and nails the big man with an Irish Uppercut followed by an Irish Lariat. Donovan goes for a Death Valley Driver, but Agrius powers out and reverses to the Armageddon. He covers... 1, 2, 3. It's over just that quickly.

Your Winner (Pinfall; 2:30) Agrius!

---

Lindsay McAllister vs. Edra Cox vs LD Williams vs. DK Murphy

Stats out as DK and LD form a loose alliance. Edra and Lindsay do the same and the four brawl back and forth. Lindsay ends that quickly by tossing Edra over the roipes after they hit a double team move on DK and goes for the pin. LD slides in ad DK kicks out and rolls Lindsay up for the 1..2..3

Your Winner (Pinfall; 8:45) LD Williams!

---

Jason Allen vs. Tommy Wilder

Wilder and Jason put on a flippy fest for a good 6 minutes. Allen tries a 630, crashes & buirns (pun intended) Tommy hits a Base Jump for the pin

Your Winner (POinfall; 6:46) Tommy Wilder

---

Tytan vs. Stank vs. Seamus McNasty vs. Awesome Bill

The Food Network's Ted Allen walks down the ramp to applause from the audience. Allen climbs the steel steps by the ring before climbing in between the ropes. The ring is set up like a kitchen and next to the OOWF announce table there is a pantry. There is also another pantry set up by the Food Network announce table where three judges sit. Ted Allen is handed a mic.

TA: "Four wrestlers. Three courses. Only one chance to win. The challenge...? Create an unforgettable meal from the mystery items hidden in these baskets before time runs out. Our distinguished panel of chefs will critique their work and one by one they must face the dreaded chopping block. Who will WIN and who will be CHOPPED! Four wrestlers think they have what it takes to be the chopped champion. Let's meet them!"

"Disposable Hero" by Metallica BLASTS through the loud speakers and out to the top of the stage walks Tytan under some protest of his own and a chorus of boos from the fans.

Tytan: "What is this nonsense???"

Tytan walks down the ramp and hops up on the apron before climbing through the ropes and eyeing, warily, Ted Allen, as he directs Tytan behind one of the mystery baskets.

Green fire pyro explodes as Pop Evil's "Hero" heralds the arrival of Seamus McNasty who psyches himself up at the top of the stage before running down the ramp and sliding into the ring under the bottom rope. He rises to his feet to cheers from the crowd as he points at Tytan then steps behind one of the mystery baskets, bouncing up and down in place with enthusiasm for this challenge.

Tytan slowly shakes his head at this, as a fiddle fiddles the fiddling sounds of "The Devil went down to Georgia" by The Charlie Daniels Band. Awesome Bill steps out to the top of the stage and strolls down the ramp. He walks up the steel steps and climbs through the ropes to the cheers of the fans! Bill shakes Ted's hand (HA!) and nods at his opponents before stepping behind a mystery box.

Nonpoint's "Skin" blasts through the speakers, and though he may not usually care for it, the crowd pops mightily for Stank's theme music, as the big man steps out onto the stage with a huge grin on his face. From Tytan's expression, it seems it has finally dawned on him that this whole thing might be Stank's idea. Stank surveys the scene before walking down the ramp, around the ring, and to the Food Network table where he eyes the three judges, chefs and restaurateurs, Aaron Sanchez, March Murphy, and Alexandria "Alex" Guarnaschelli. Stank hops up onto the apron and climbs through the ropes. He laughs at the expression on Tytan's face before stepping around to the final remaining mystery box before his music dies down and Ted Allen resumes speaking.

TA: "Welcome wrestlers. Here are the rules. There are three rounds... appetizer, entree, and dessert. Each course has its own basket of mystery ingredients. You must use every ingredient in the basket in some way. Also available to you, our pantries ringside and fridge. When the clock runs out, our judges will critique your dishes on presentation, taste, and creativity. If your dish doesn't cut it... you will be chopped." 

Tytan: "This is lunacy! I refuse to- "

Allen: "Whoever wins will receive this shiny gold Chopped Championship belt…"

Tytan: "Hmmm. I do like winning belts."

Allen:  "… and a bonus check for 10,000 dollars."

Tytan: "I also like money."

Seamus: "Who doesn’t?"

ABFD: "I kin upgradify my Still with a nice influxcification of high cotton."

Stank: "The last thing this world needs is whatever the Hell it is you're talking about, resulting in an UPGRADED Pine Cone Party Likker."

ABFD: "You hush your mouth there, Stankin Mann!"

Allen: "Tonight we thought it would be a great idea to pack your baskets with items you might find on a sophisticated brunch menu. Please open your baskets."

The wrestlers open their baskets and start pulling out ingredients.

ALLEN: "And you must use... Quail eggs... Wild Coxcomb... Pine Cone Party Likker... "

ABFD: "YEAH!!!!"

Allen: "... and Tiger Eye Whitefish Roe. Only fifteen minutes on the clock... time starts now."

Ted Allen exits the ring, as the wrestlers rush to the pantries to gather more ingredients. While the competitors dart around him, Ted steps quickly out of the way to stand by the Judges table.

Allen: "Brunch can be a fun experience."

Sanchez: "It can be sweet, or savory, or everything in between."

MM: "Yeah, but the regular rules apply. We gave them brunch items, but we want an appetizer."

AG: "I think that's the cruelty of this basket. The ingredients are beautiful, they're seductive... and crammed into a fifteen minute moment."

MM: "And these aren't professional chefs!"

AG: "No, they're professional wrestlers. We'll see how this plays out!"

The wrestlers scramble around one another jockeying for ingredients and space. They rush back into the ring and begin cooking and sniping at each other for the next fourteen minutes. Tytan at one point intentionally trips Awesome Bill over as he screams "BEHIND" while carrying an open jar of pickles, trying to rush past to get back to his station. He nearly bumps into Seamus McNasty who angrily yells "Watch it, BOYO!"

Sanchez: "What do you think Awesome Bill is going to do with those pickles?"

MM: "I don't know, but everything I've heard about PCPL says it's extremely flammable."

AG: "Your point?"

MM: "He's about to pour some near that OPEN FLAME!"

Allen: "Look OUT!"

Awesome Bill's pan and... station apparently, is engulfed in flames! OOWF staff quickly rush in with fire extinguishers, but Bill holds them off as he dowses the flames with baking soda.

ABFD: "Ah... just how mah pappy used to make it."

Crisis averted, the wrestlers start plating, as Ted does an audible countdown from 10 to 1.

Allen: "Time is up! Please step back!"

The wrestlers look down at their plates with varying degrees of satisfaction before they exit the ring and stand before the FN Announce table, as attendants place their dishes in front of the judges.

Allen: "Wrestlers you've arrived at the chopping block. In the appetizer round you had to work with Quail eggs, Wild Coxcomb, Pine Cone Party Likker..."

ABFD: "YEEE HAAAW!"

Allen: "... and Tiger Whitefish Roe... Awesome Bill, you are first."

ABFD: "What y'all have here before you is mah great grand pappy's Braised Wild Coxcomb with poachified Quail eggs and Pickled Pine Cone Party Likker Hollandaisy gravy... Enjoyify it!"

The judges use their forks to poke tentatively at their food which clearly looks like burned chunks covered in tar. But as each one tastes it...

MM: "Uh... it doesn't look like much... but... it's incredibly tasty."

The crowd cheers!

Sanchez: "I agree. There is NO WAY this should work... but I can't believe you were able to pull this off."

AG: "The presentation is lacking... but the final product is delicious... in fact... it's probably the best thing I've ever tasted in the history of this competition."

Tytan: "oh COME ON!!!!"

ABFD: "I thank you, and mah Pappy thanks you."

Allen: "Bill, tell us what winning this match would mean for you?"

ABFD: "I reckon it might..."

MM: "..."

AG: "Very inspiring."

Sanchez: "You're a tribute to your stable."

Tytan looks around in confusion.

Tytan: "Are you KIDDING me? Was THAT even a complete thought??"

Allen: "Alright Awesome Bill, thank you. Tytan you seem eager. You're up next."

Tytan: "Well my food isn't BURNED, I'll tell you that much! What I have for you is a Honduran Perico Taco with fried Pork Belly. I remember fondly my days in Dr. Povod's remote lab located somewhere in the jungles of Honduras. Come feeding time the lab assistants, we hired locally, would make us lunch, and this was one of their best dishes. Please enjoy."

Sanchez: "I actually like what you did with the Wild Coxcomb here. It almost tastes like collard greens... but I think the Pork Belly is slightly underdone and chewy."

MM: "Agreed."

AG: "It's beautifully presented though. Restaurant quality."

Tytan: "Thank you!"

Allen: "So you seem to be opposed to tonight's proceedings."

Tytan: "I know this is HIS doing somehow *Points to Stank* You're all here because of HIM and the chosen ones like him! But never let it be said that The Awakening can't adapt! I will win this match because ALL the heroes are DEAD! And NO ONE can save ANY of you!"

AG: "That remains to be seen."

Sanchez: "However we take cooking very seriously. Rest assured we will pick who has the best dish... WHOEVER that might be."

Allen: "Alright, Seamus McNasty... you're next."

SM: "I prepared a Warm Wild Coxcomb Salad with PCPL Poached Quail Egg."

The judges taste Seamus's dish.

MM: "It looks like you chose to let the Wild Coxcomb be the star here. You seasoned it perfectly. You really honored it."

AG: "I think your approach is extremely finessed for a... well to be frank, a professional wrestler."

SM: "Sure."

AG: "My only problem is with the Whitefish Roe. I have a lot of Artichoke Hearts on my plate and barely any fish eggs, and I think I'd prefer it the other way around."

SM: "Okay."

Allen: "Do you cook alot at home, Seamus?"

SM: "Occasionally, When I feel inspired."

Allen: "Thank You, sir. And finally, Stank."

Stank: "My dish is a Wild Coxcomb Salad with a warm Pine Cone Party Likker and Pancetta vinaigrette topped with Quail Egg and Tiger Whitefish Roe."

The judges all take a bite of Stank's Salad.

AG: "Can you explain how you made the vinaigrette?"

Stank: "It has mustard, a little bit of honey, pancetta, lemon juice, and then there's blue cheese in there."

Sanchez: "I think the vinaigrette is the star of this dish to be honest. It's very mustardy and I think the pancetta makes it substantial."

AG: "The sweetness of the honey... is brilliant."

Stank: "Thank you."

MM: "Yeah it's delicious. My only complaint is the blue cheese. I don't think it's needed."

Sanchez: "I disagree."

MM: "No. It's a bit of a sin."

Sanchez: "But it works with the dish."

Allen: "Thank you wrestlers. We need to convene."

The competitors walk to the other side of the ring while the judges confer amongst themselves. After a few moments, the wrestlers return to the judges table.

Allen: "So. Whose dish is on the chopping block?"

Every one stands around in building anticipation before Ted Allen removes the cover that had been concealing.... Awesome Bill's dish. The crowd boos the shit out of this. Awesome Bill gapes at his dish in a bit of shock.

Tytan: "YES!!"

Allen: "Awesome Bill... you have been chopped."


Awesome Bill has been eliminated.


Allen: "Judges?"

AG: "Bill, while your dish was clearly far superior to the rest in taste... it looks like a hot mess. For this reason only, we had chop you."

The crowd applauds his effort as Awesome Bill droops his head and marches slowly to the back while the rest make their way back to the ring behind their new mystery boxes.

Allen: "Tytan, Seamus, Stank, once again the baskets are filled with brunchy surprises. Please open them up."

The combatants open their mystery baskets.

Allen: "And we have... Guinea Fowl Eggs... Lemon Cake Mix... Bloody Mary Mix... and Mediterranean Slipper Lobster. Twenty Minutes to prepare brunch themed entrees... Time starts now."

Tytan SHOVES Seamus McNasty to the side as they head out the ring. Seamus doesn't appreciate that, so as Tytan turns around from the pantry with an arm full of vegetables, Seamus CLOTHESLINES him to the floor!

Sanchez: "Whoa! Down goes Tytan!"

Stank steps over Tytan to get to the pantry while Tytan scrambles back to his feet. Tytan gathers up all his dropped vegetables and gets them back to ring by his station clearly frustrated. Seamus takes up a defensive stance as Tytan advances angrily on him, but stops short when he hears Ted Allen exclaim...

Allen: "Eighteen Minutes Left!!"

Tytan decides to forego any further violence and gets started on his dish. The competitors cook and shove each other around for the next 17 minutes before Ted does his countdown from 10 to 1.

Allen: "Time is up! Please step back!"

The wrestlers look down at their dishes clearly exhausted and sweating, as if this were an actual wrestling match. They exit the ring and stand before the judges.

Allen: "In your second decadent basket you were given Guinea Fowl eggs, Lemon Cake Mix, Bloody Mary Mix... and Mediterranean Slipper Lobster. Seamus, we'll start with you."

Seamus: "You have an Irish style Lobster Pancake with Bloody Mary Syrup."

The judges start eating Seamus's dish.

AG: "What makes these pancakes Irish style?"

Seamus: "Potatoes. Guinness."

AG: "Ah."

MM: "I think your Irish heritage really shows here in your pancake. The idea of putting the different elements and herbs in your batter mix was interesting."

Sanchez: "I do like the flavor you coated on the lobster, but your aioli... you put a lot of fish sauce in here. It's very very strong."

AG: "I think the presentation is beautiful however... but the pancake is sweet and the lobster is inherently sweet which can be a little overwhelming."

Allen: "Thank you Seamus. Up next, Stank."

Stank: "For the entree there is Battered Lobster with a Butter Herbed Linguine and Lobster cream sauce."

AG: "I think creativity wise... you've done an excellent job. The use of the cake mix to batter the lobster was a good idea here."

MM: "I watched you hit it with a bit of salt and heat to cut through that sweetness and it coats the lobster well. It has a lot of flavor like fish and chips which I like."

Sanchez: "I think this sauce is delicious as well. Tarragon, Celery, White Wine. It all comes together so well with the lobster."

Stank: "Thank you chefs."

Allen: "Up next, Tytan."

Tytan: "I have made a Lobster and Egg Hash with a superior Tempura Lobster on top and a Spicy Vodka Creme Sauce on the bottom."

The judges taste Tytan's dish.

AG: "You have successfully represented lobster in three places on this plate. You've invoked brunch, but this is distinctly entree."

Sanchez: "Love the heat in that sauce. It's just subtle enough not to overwhelm the dish."

MM: "I kind of disagree. The spices in my plate were just this shy of overwhelming."

Allen: "Thank you wrestlers. We will call you when we're ready."

Stank, Tytan, Seamus all shove each other around, as they make their way to the other side of the ring while the judges huddle together to discuss their dishes. Some time later, the combatants are called back over to the judges table.

Allen: "So. Whose dish is on the chopping block?"

Once again, the next few seconds are filled with anticipation before Ted Allen removes the cover which had previously concealed.... Seamus McNasty dish. The crowd AWWWS loudly!

Tytan: "JUST ONE MORE TO GO!"

Seamus: "Shut it, you!"

Allen: "Seamus McNasty... you have been chopped."



Seamus McNasty has been eliminated!



Allen: "Judges?"

MM: "Seamus, while very well put together, you didn't do enough to cut through the sweetness of your dish which is why we had to chop you."

Seamus: "I understand. It was fun while it lasted."

Seamus shoves Tytan out of his way before making his way to the back, as Stank and Tytan slide back into the ring and stand behind the final two baskets.

Allen: "Stank, Tytan, the final brunch menu inspired basket is sitting right here. Go for it! Please open them up!"

Stank and Tytan glare at one another before opening their mystery baskets

Allen: "And we have... Araucana Eggs... Bear Claw Pastries... Cough Syrup... and finally, Wild Boar Tongue."

Stank: "FUCK me!"

Allen: "Your 15 minutes starts... now!"

Stank and Tytan race to the pantry and fridge to gather their complementary ingredients before heading back into the ring to prepare for their desserts.

Allen: "This is probably one of the toughest baskets we've ever come up with in a Chopped competition."

AG: "I think the trickiest part here is how they are going to get rid of that medicine-y flavor from that cough syrup."

MM: "Well I think the trickiest part is how to keep our final two from killing one another."

Sure enough, Stank and Tytan are shoving each other while back outside the ring, fighting to see who gets use of the lone ice cream maker! Tytan goes to sling Stank into the steel steps, but Stank REVERSES, SLAMMING Tytan into them headfirst! The crowd roars in approval, but Ted Allen walks over and threatens to throw out this match if the two of them don't behave which garners some boos in response! Stank makes use of the ice cream maker, as Tytan rises to his feet, angrily, and brushes himself off. The next 13 minutes go by without further incident before Ted Allen counts down from 10 to 1.

Allen: "Times up! Please step back!"

Stank and Tytan glare at one another as they head out the ring and stand before the judges.

Allen: "Your final basket of brunch menu ingredients contained Araucana Eggs, Bear Claw Pastries, Cough Syrup, and Boar Tongue. Stank..."

Stank: "What you have is Cough Syrup Gelato with Waffel Bear Claw Crumble and Crispy Boar Tongue Sabayon."

The judges all taste Stank's dessert. Stank is unable to read their expressions, as they put on their best poker faces.

MM: "Well let me just say this... the gelato... is delicious."

AG: "Agreed."

Sanchez: "Yeah."

Stank: "Thank you."

Sanchez: "It's very unusual... but in a good way. I know it's cough syrup, but if you didn't tell me that, I wouldn't know it. It doesn't have that... medicine like taste to it at all."

AG: "And those eggs are so special, the way you rendered them in the Sabayon... that color... I like that a lot."

MM: "I think it was very clever of you to make an ice cream without any egg in it, so that the egg in the Sabyon, you smartly poured over the top, completes it."

Sanchez: "How did you get the Boar tongue so crispy?"

Stank: "I cut then braised it first in the pressure cooker to get rid of the toughness, then crisped them up in the deep fryer for the last two minutes."

MM: "It works man. The whole thing is delicious."

Stank: "Thank you."

Allen: "Thank you, Stank. Tytan tell us about your dish?"

Tytan: "Well I was GOING to make an ice cream, but SOMEONE is a stingy bastard!"

Stank: "Fuck you, Tytan."

Tytan: "You can't talk to me that way!"

Allen: "Gentlemen please! Your dessert, Tytan."

Tytan: "I have a Custard with Italian Meringue and Cough Syrup Boar Tongue sauce."

The judges taste Tytan's dessert.

AG: "I like the fact that you highlight the white of the egg with the meringue and the yolk with the custard."

Tytan: "Thank you!"

MM: "You were also able to hide the medicine taste of the cough syrup which is impressive... but this custard is so heavy. I think because the egg yolks of the Araucana Chicken in particular are extremely rich."

Sanchez: "I think it all depends on what you pair it with. I think, in this case, the sauce sort of cuts through the richness of the custard."

Allen: "I'd like to ask you why you each think you deserve to win?"

Tytan glares at Stank, Allen, and the judges before answering.

Tytan: "Because ALL the heroes are dead!"

Stank: "Yes, you already said that."

Tytan: "And no one can save you!"

Stank: "Right."

Tytan: "This company needs- "

Stank: "I DON'T KNOW about this company, but what YOU need to do... is shut the fuck up!"

Tytan: "Make me!"

Stank and Tytan are about to come to blows, but Ted Allen signals for help and security quickly makes their way down to separate the two while the judges convene and the crowd chants "LET THEM FIGHT". A few minutes later, Tytan and Stank are standing in the ring awaiting the judges decision.

Allen: "So. Whose dish is on the chopping block?"

Anticipation builds slowly before Ted Allen removes the cover from.... Tytan's Dish! The crowd cheers wildly as Nonpoint's "Skin" Blasts over the speakers!

Allen: "Tytan... you have been chopped."


Tytan has been eleminated



Tytan: "This is an OUTRAGE!!"

Allen: "Judges?"

Stank's theme music fades as Alex Guarnaschelli explains.

AG: "Tytan, despite the fact that you were able to pull off some very bold flavors, there were some technical issues we couldn't ignore and in the dessert round the custard was... just slightly overcooked, and for those reasons we had to chop you."

Your Winner (Cooking Skill; 60:00) Stank!

Stank throws his hands in the air and is celebrating like he just won the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship! He is handed the Chopped Championship Belt which he raises up high to the roar of the crowd, as he struts around the ring beating his chest in victory. He climbs a neutral corner which is not taken up by kitchen space, and poses for the crowd, raising the Chopped Belt up high! He hops down from the turnbuckle and turns around only to get BLASTED on the head by a CAST IRON SKILLET wielded by Tytan! Stank may have managed to get his hand up to block the blow in time, but it still manages to knock him off his feet causing the big man to drop his belt! Tytan tosses the the skillet aside and pulls a groggy Stank to his feet! He SLINGS Stank HARD into the opposite corner, picks up the Chopped Championship Belt, and CHARGES at Stank who moves out the way at the last moment! Tytan bounces out of the corner from the impact and Stank grabs him around the waist, TOSSING him over his head with a GERMAN SUPLEX! Tytan bounces off the mat and rolls out of the ring, grabbing the back of his head and screaming at the judges on his way around the ring, and up the ramp, to the boos of the crowd!

Tytan: "You think I CARE about this CRAP? This isn't WRESTLING! I KNOW how to COOK, damn it!! This crap won't SAVE YOU! NO ONE WILL!"

Stank picks up the Chopped Championship Belt, as his theme music resumes. He glares at Tytan backing his way up the ramp shouting at anyone who would hear about "chosen ones" and what the people REALLY want to see. Stank smiles and continues to celebrate more in the ring to the applause of the host, judges, and high praise from the fans!

---

Ecosystem vs. Miranda Williams

Ecosystem is out first, clapping his hands to "Happy" and looking very happy to be here. This contrasts sharply with both the negative reaction he receives from the Whittier crowd and the lack of emotion from Agrius, who is following him down the ramp with staff in hand. "Stompa" hits to bring out Miranda Williams, who receives a much more favorable ovation from the crowd. Both competitors get in the ring, and Miranda has a quick conversation with referee Angelo Barros about Eco's entourage before Barros calls for the bell.

Eco and Miranda lock up, with Miranda getting the advantage. It's all Miranda early, as she stomps and kicks away on Eco before hitting a standing moonsault. Eco makes his way back to his feet, just to walk into a big dropkick. Momentum is starting to build and the crowd is getting behind Miranda. With Eco laying on the mat, Miranda is sizing up a curbstomp. Instead, Agrius steps onto the apron and says something to Miranda. Miranda turns and responds, which is all the opening Eco needs to hit a belly-to-back suplex.

Now Eco goes on the attack, hitting a couple of power moves before going to the top rope for a frog splash ... but Miranda gets her knees up to counter it! Agrius is again up on the apron, this time with his staff, but Barros is there to stop him. Barros has had enough, ordering Agrius away from the ring and back to the locker room. Behind them, Miranda has covered Eco for the pin, but nobody is home for the count. Miranda stands up and turns towards the commotion. Eco walks up behind her, grabs her shoulder to spin her around ... and drops her with one swing of his right fist! Miranda slumps to the mat, and Eco quickly tosses the brass knuckles on his right hand into the crowd and covers her for the pin, just in time for Barros to turn around and give the three count.

Your winner (Pinfall; 7:12), Ecosystem!

---

Alexis Darling vs. Chloe Neal vs. Moosehead Jack vs. Daniella Murphy

Moose attackes Alexis before the bell even rings. Dee and Chloe do some regualr in ring wrestling, but eventually the 4 way brawl you'd expect breaks out. Moose and Chloe end up face to face in an intense staredown in the ring. Alexis slides in and rolls Chloe up for the pin while Moose smirks.

Your Winner (Pinfall 5:45) Alexis Darling!

---

Rabbit Mask vs. Zed

Zed and Rabbit give us a second flippy spot fest for 7-8 minutes. Rabbit pulls Zed up for a Head Drop, but Zed slides off behind him and traps him in the ZZZZ! Rabbit slips loose and bails for the back, holding his IO briefcase high as the bell sounds

Your Winner (Countout; 9:12) Zed!

---

Beverly Cambridge vs. Dre Gaines - Non-Title Match

PA: “Started . . . Zombie on the track . . .”

“Started From the Bottom” plays in Dre Gaines, who is bobbing with the audience as they jam along with Big Smiley. Dre gives them the patented grin before rolling into the ring and playing to all sides of the house. The cheers turn into boos

Eco: Ladies and gentlemen, could you please do me a favor and not humor this embarrassment? (Boos.) Yes, yes, I’m a bad guy because I tell you what’s in front of your face. Dre Gaines, you’re a blue-chip talent, and you know in your heart of hearts that you degrade yourself by coming out every week and shucking and jiving for these fans. You degrade yourself by grasping onto the name of Drink & Destroy like it means anything besides a contested copyright. And you degrade yourself by associating with its members, the failures of this company, who dwell in the past.

The woman you face tonight lives in the future. In fact, she IS the future. I give you now, the future of this company . . . YOUR REIGNING, DEFENDING, OOWF ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION . . . BEVERLY CAMBRIDGE!

“Cut the Cord” by Shinedown plays in the OOWF Onslaught Champion, Beverly Cambridge. She looks out at the fans, nods to Ecosystem before handing him the championship, and she makes her way into the ring, all business as the bell rings. Beverly and Dre lock up in the middle – Dre begins to force Beverly toward the corner, but Beverly reverses into an armdrag – Dre rolls through, charges Beverly down with a shoulderblock, Beverly does a full back bump and rolls out of the ring. Dre poses in the ring for a second, but then realizes Beverly isn’t coming back in, and is instead taking every second of the count. Dre gets impatient and dives out of the ring, a lot of weight flying – but Bev plays matador and lets Dre crash into the guardrail. Beverly kicks Dre hard in the ribs three times before rolling into the ring, demanding the referee restart the count.

Russ: Dre taking a big chance for a big man, and it did not pay off.
(Ecosystem storms over to the announce table.)
Eco: STOP TALKING ABOUT DRE! HE’S LYING ON THE FLOOR! TALK ABOUT BEVERLY!
Razz: Well Russ, Beverly sure took a cheap shot –
Eco: NOT LIKE THAT!

Dre gets back in the ring – Beverly stomps his back, but he sweeps the leg, and begins to rain haymakers down on the smaller competitor – this is sort of the only company where a giant man can do that against a smaller woman and be a face, but we digress – Dre whips Beverly into the ropes, she comes off with a crossbody, Dre catches her, lifts her for a Samoan drop but Beverly twists on the shoulders and plants Dre with a DDT! Beverly quickly locks the arm – La Bella Lock! Dre is trapped in the middle of the ring, and it’s a long . . . agonizing . . . crawl to the ropes before he gets the break. Beverly breaks the hold at the three-count, but immediately starts kicking the tweaked shoulder of Dre. Dre fights his way up, boots Beverly in the stomach, hooks her up and tosses her into the corner – Buckle N-Bomb! Dre stumbles off of the throw holding his shoulder, however, before going into the cover on Beverly . . . who kicks out into a cross-armbreaker!

Eco: LOOK AT THAT! TELL THEM ABOUT THAT RING AWARENESS!
Russ: We were!
Eco: TELL THEM MORE! DO YOUR JOB!

Dre tries to roll out of the cross-armbreaker and begins to pull Beverly up into a one-arm slam – Beverly kicks Dre in the head and reverses position, into a Fujiwara armbar! Dre is struggling from the position – but out of nowhere, curls his large body inward and flips Beverly on her back, shifting his weight desperately as he rolls Beverly up! 1-2-3! Beverly just missed the kickout!

Your Winner (Pinfall; 8:22) Dre Gaines!

Beverly pops up in shock, but Ecosystem’s reaction outside the ring is even more dramatic, as he screams in shock. Dre’s arm is hurting bad, and he rolls out of the ring quickly, grabbing his right shoulder and trying to put feeling back into it, even as he nods and acknowledges the cheers of the crowd. Ecosystem makes a move to chase after Gaines, but Beverly yanks him back, admonishing him quietly as he nods and backs off.

---

Mai Muyo (C) vs. Alexander Darling - Intercontinental Title Match

Alexander Darling enters first, and he does not look happy about it. He glares at the loudly booing crowd as he walks the aisle and climbs into the ring. He perches on the turnbuckles to taunt the fans further, then heads to his corner to warm up. The crowd turns on a dime and explodes into cheers as the Intercontinental Champion, Mai Muyo, steps onto the stage. She holds her championship high and soaks in the cheers, then makes her way to the ring slapping hands. Mai climbs onto the apron and raises her championship again, and then steps through the ropes and hands it to referee Davis Hightower.

Mai and Alex lock eyes as Junior gives them their instructions. The bell rings, and Mai sticks out her hand. Alex looks at her for a long moment, and then smirks and turns his back. He returns to his corner and turns around - just in time to eat a flying knee from Mai! Alex is driven into the turnbuckles. and Mai presses her attack with kicks and chops. She hits an Irish whip, but Alex reverses and sends her into the corner. Alex charges, but Mai gets her feet up. She hops onto the second turnbuckle and leaps, but Alex catches her with a fist to the midsection that sends her flipping to the mat. Alex reaches for Mai, but she grabs his arm and flips him to the canvas. Mai tries to lock on a cross arm breaker, but Alex manages to block it long enough to reach the ropes.

Both wrestlers get to their feet. They lock up, and Mai twists Alex into a hammerlock. He reverses and shoves her face-first into the ropes, then takes her over with a German suplex. He bridges, but Mai rolls a shoulder at two. Alex rolls to his feet and shoves Mai into the corner. He attacks with forearms, and then stuns her with a European uppercut. A knee to the midsection is followed by a snap suplex, and Alex floats over to pull her to a seated position. Alex nails Mai with an elbow, then goes to the ropes and hits a sliding dropkick. He covers, but Mai kicks out at two.

Alex pulls Mai to her feet and steps behind her. He picks her up and drives her to the mat with a back suplex, rolling over into a cover that still only gets two. Alex drags Mai to her feet and sends her hard into the corner. He follows her in with a clothesline, and when Mai staggers out he tries to set up the Darling Driver, but Mai shoves off and lands on the apron. Alex swings as he turns, but Mai ducks and drives a shoulder into his stomach. She slings herself over the ropes and hits a sunset flip, rolling Alex up for a one count.

Mai is up first and throws a kick at Alex as he gets up. He catches it and tries to pull her in, but Mai brings her free leg up to drive her knee into his temple. Alex releases her, and Mai turns as she lands, slamming a kick into his head that sends him staggering to the ropes. Mai slings Alex across the ring and drops him with a standing dropkick. Mai goes to the apron and hits a slingshot senton. She covers, but Alex kicks out at two.

Mai pulls Alex to his feet and tries to set up the End Is Here, but Alex drives an elbow into her solar plexus. Mai staggers, and Alex keeps her off-balance with a European uppercut. He pulls Mai’s arm across her throat and taunts her before hauling her onto his shoulders. Alex calls for the Darling Driver, but Mai suddenly twists and drops behind him. She hooks his head on the way down - End-Is Here! Mai covers, hooking both legs, and holds the struggling Darling down as Hightower counts One...Two...Three!

Your Winner (Pinfall; 12:32) and Still Intercontinental Champion, Mai Muyo!

---

The Circle (C) vs. Firewoman & Chad Madison - World Tag Team Title Match

Chad and Firewoman come through the curtain, bump fists and head to the ring. The lights dim, and Shannon and Ghosthead – the Circle – stride to the ring and display their Tag Team Championship Belts to the crowd.

At the bell, Firewoman and Ghosthead circle, looking for an opening. Ghost shoots for a leg Fireavoids and counters with a headlock – Ghost shoots her to the ropes, drops low as she leaps over him, uses a Japanese arm-drag to ground her. Holding on to the arm, he cranks on it, trying to soften her up, but she rolls to her feet, elbow to the gut – a second one breaks the hold and Fire lands a release suplex to send him toward her corner.

Tag to Chad, who leaps over the top rope and drops a leg across Ghost’s chest, cover only gets a one count. Chad sends Jared to the ropes, but ducks his head a bit early and gets stood up with a kick to the chest. Ghost follows up with a thrust kick to the midsection and a DDT, getting the separation he needs to tag in Shannon! Shannon drives Shannon into a neutral corner with a shoulder block, then lights Chad up with a series of chops! Chad spins her around, delivers a series of his own, then Shannon yanks him back snapping his neck back as his face hits the top turnbuckle!

Shannon stays on Chad, pressing the offense and focusing on his neck and back or the next few minutes, keeping him off balance and grounded every chance she can. She goes for a single arm DDT, but Chad reverses into a modified backdrop driver! Both wrestlers are down as the ref starts his count, Shannon staggers over to tag in her husband, but before Ghosthead can get to Chad, he leaps to his corner and tags in Firewoman!

The match picks up once again as the fresh wrestlers go at it, trading moves at a rapid pace as their partners recover. Soon both teams hit their stride, and while Chad and Fire show excellent teamwork, The Circle’s cohesiveness is giving them the advantage. However, Fire tags in Chad as she sends Shannon to the far ropes and as Shannon leapfrogs, Chad BLASTS her with a superkick! Shannon slumps to the mat, Chad covers – 1….2…

Ghostheads enters the ring and kicks Chad in the back, and breaks the count! The ref admonishes Ghost, who gets out of the slowly – the ref turns back to see Chad covering Shannon again – 1..2…

Shannon rolls a shoulder up and kicks out!

Chad signals to Fire to get ready to finish the match as he lifts Shannon’s limp body up, when she suddenly rears back her head, her cheeks puffed out – Chad covers his eyes to avoid … Shannon was faking, and doesn’t shot the mist! She grabs Chad and spins him into a neckbreaker across her knee, tags in Ghosthead who hoists Chad up – HORROR DRIVER! Chad lands hard on his already injured neck, and s stunned! Ghosthead tags Shannon back in, who climbs to the top and drops a leg across the back of Chad’s neck, then hooks in a Lotus Lock! Fire starts to get into the ring to break it up, but Ghosthead cuts her off and Chad is forced to tap!

Your Winners (Submission; 22:17) The Circle!

---

Matt Folz (C) vs. Christian Carter - OOWF World Title Match

Christian Carter makes his entrance, heel-smirk firmly planted on his face, and Alexis Darling on his arm. She plants a kiss on his cheek, and then goes to the back. He soaks in the boos as he heads to the ring. Folz enters, almost identical smirk, and Jaime on his arm, before she plants a kiss on HIS cheek, and then SHE goes to the back. He walks down to cheers, and the two men get nose to nose, and attempts to separate them don't work. So, we just go for the bell. They push each other around, face to face, trash talking, and then Carter gets the big shove so Folz staggers back a couple of feet. This gives Carter room to maneuver and he does, with a flurry of offense that leaves Matt a bit on his heels. But he IS the champion, so he is able to eventually recover and then counter. They go back and forth for a while, but neither is really working to hurt the other...yet. Folz gets Carter over for a suplex and transitions that into an armbar, wearing Carter down. He transitions into a Y2J-esque variety of armbars, and Carter is having a tough time trying to counter, but, as it's not time to submit yet, he somehow rallies, and drives an elbow into Folz's midsection a few times. Folz is forced to adjust, and that gives Carter the space, which he uses to grab Folz by the head and stand up quickly, then drop down for a jawbreaker! Folz grabs said jaw and staggers back to the ropes. Carter waits, but Folz was being a little tricksy, and uses the ropes to propel himself off for a flying Canadian Bulldog. Carter hits the mat, and Folz tries to wrap him up, but no, Carter kicks out. The two men stand, and Carter makes a run for it. Folz back-body drops Carter over the ropes and to the floor. He turns, looks, and slingshots himself over. The two men get to their feet and brawl around while the referee is telling them to get in-- suddenly there's a roar and Moosehead Jack has come to the ring. He spins Carter around clocks him with a haymaker. Carter takes a minute to recover, but recover he does, as the two of them brawl. The referee calls for the bell.

Your Winner (Disqualification; 4:56) Christian Carter!

---

We hope you enjoyed this episode of OOWF MidWeek Mayhem!!

Upcoming OOWF Shows:
End Of Days 11 Sunday, January 31, 2016, From Adak, Alaska
MidWeek Mayhem February 3, 2016 From Yelizovo, Russia

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