Billed From (alphabetical by state then city if applicable, then alphabetical by country) Malibu, California - Sanda Fallon Tampa, Florida - Firewoman West Palm Beach, Florida - Alexander Darling West Palm Beach, Florida - Alexis Darling Dawsonville, Georgia - Awesome Bill From Dawsonville Baltimore, Maryland - Justin Sane Minneapolis, Minnesota - Nuke Staten Island, New York - Beverly Cambridge Bryson City, North Carolina - Jack Quinn unknown city, North Carolina - Zed Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - Bridget O'Malley Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - Mac Flasher Sydney, Australia - Lindsay McAllister Jeff Mangyuniku - unannounced Katie Bardoor - unannounced Kylie Mignolio - unannounced PORK - unannounced
Entrance Music (alphabetical by artist) AC/DC: "Shoot to Thrill" - Zed Aerosmith: "Jaded" - Kylie Mignolio Andrew WK: "I Get Wet" - Mac Flasher Charlie Daniels Band: "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" - Awesome Bill From Dawsonville Cypress Hill: "Insane in the Brain" - Justin Sane Imagine Dragons: "Radioactive" - Alexis Darling Megadeth: "Symphony of Destruction" - Jack Quinn The Misfits: "Hate Breeders" - Nuke No Doubt: "Just A Girl" - Lindsay McAllister Panic! At The Disco: "King of the Clouds" - Jeff Mangyuniku Porcelain & The Tramps: "King of the World" - Alexander Darling Shinedown: "Cut the Cord" - Beverly Cambridge Sleigh Bells: "Crown on the Ground" - Bridget O'Malley Tommy Iommi & Ian Astbury: "Flame On" - Firewoman Weezer: "Surf Wax America" - Sandra Fallon Katie Bardoor - unestablished PORK - unestablished
Finishing Moves (alphabetical by character name) Alexander Darling
Pin Finisher: Darling Driver-A Cutthroat Driver which is an inverted DVD using the guys own hand across the throat.
The Deal Breaker-Top-rope Cop-Killer
Emerald Frosion-only used if a match is big-time
Crucifix Bomb-used in lower-card matches
Dark Darling Rising-A combination finisher. Darling will hit a brainbusta, follow it up with a curbstomp, before leaping to the top rope and excecuting a Phoenix Splash
Darling Bombshell-Top rope powerbomb. Chris Candido’s old Blonde Bombshell Finisher.
The Darling Vice (The Anaconda Vice)
Death by Darling (The Haas of Pain)
The Darling Money Clip (The Texas Cloverleaf)-Submission that Alex will use the most often. Has a history of snapping bones with it (Poe and DH Magnusson)
Firestomp (bulldog on opponent either from the mat, or preferably from a rope or turnbuckle, and then a curb stomp)
Clothesline or DDT (again even better if from the rope or turnbuckle) into Best Firesault Evar! (best moonsault ever, which she can land on her feet if necessary. She can firesault from a standing position, as well.
Flamethrower (hurricanrana on opponent who is on top turnbuckle)
Firebomb (double moonsault, which should not be used that often, only when she's really inspired)
Walls of Jericho (the real kind with the knee to the head)
Last Chancery (bridging arm triangle choke) and she'll sometimes toss in the knees to the head just for good measure
Torpedo-style Tornado DDT
Firestorm Snap double underhook DDT
Moosekiller: Crucifix bomb Piledriver
Really Good Diamond Cutter
Symphony of Destruction - Buckle Bomb, piledriver, anaconda vice
"Kaze Ni Nare" (ripcord lariat)
"Doom Cloud" (cobra clutch suplex)
Stepover toehold submission
The Aussie Attack (A Michinoku Driver)
Flash Drive (snapping vertical drop brain buster)
Duquesne Incline (Christian Cage's "Killswitch" with an added jump when emphasis is needed. Used as the finisher against heavier opponents)
Give 'Em the Boot (a big boot that he'll hit from any angle to a standing or seated opponent. Location of opponent doesn't matter if he can get enough momentum to land the blow and if he can wrap his trusty chain around the boot beforehand, even better)
Schoolboy rollup with a heaping helping of tights (and with feet on the ropes if applicable)
"California Roll" (a rolling surfboard submission that goes into a sleeper hold after the third roll, while still with the legs locked in the surfboard position)
Maliblu-Thunder Bomb (a blue thunder bomb, but with a catchy name)
GTH (Package DDT)
The Answer (Moonsault Double Foot Stomp – last resort maneuver)
General Tag Team & Stable Information Banned From Everywhere - Justin Sane & Awesome Bill From Dawsonville Frenemies - Kylie Mignolio & Bridget O'Malley Royal Guard - Nigel & Liam Shokan Dojo - Jack Quinn, Katie Bardoor & PORK War Pigs - Katie Bardoor & Pork
Singles - Face
Rory Thomas: A kid-next-door white-meat babyface with an unmistakable tuft of red hair. Full of fire and charisma, but lacking in skill and experience. His career has been filled with near-misses against a who’s-who of the independent scene. Outside of a fluke win here or there, he just cannot seem to string together enough of an attack to put away most opponents. Despite this, the young risk-taker keeps coming back every time his name appears on the card thinking that this could be the start of a big turnaround.
Diego “Pop” Roxton: This Bahamian striker can throw hands, elbows, knees and feet with the best, and has taken a few belts along the way during his illustrious career in the Caribbean. Once thought to be the next breakaway star from the islands, “Pop” felt content to stay home until an opportunity arose to give it one solid go in the U.S.
Singles - Heel
Angie Delpetro: A mob heiress with a mean streak. You can count on one hand the number of matches she’s won cleanly, but she’d rather you forget about it. She’ll end more than a few fights with a rear naked choke or her trusty chloroform rag. She’ll run at the sight of blood, mainly because she didn’t do nothing, you see.
Sean Franklin: Former collegiate wrestler; not a good one, but he got a scholarship to wrestle at North Carolina State and he’ll never shut up about that fact. Uses grappling abilities to bully and punish more than gain an advantage. A quick temper gets him easily flustered when he seemingly has a match in hand.
Ona Jones: A throwback to the times where hair pulling and eye gouging were as much a part of women’s wrestling as hair pulling and eye gouging. While Ona doesn’t have a diverse set of moves, the ones she chooses to know are quite effective.
Pete Quick: A con-artist’s soul in a wrestler’s body. No low is too low for Pete if it means getting his way. While his mannerisms and attitude should usually result in a different alignment, his actions tell a much different story while revealing his true colors.
Tag Teams - Tweener
The Electric Company - Joe and Jamie: These two working-class grapplers have a penchant to let the moment dictate their move choices, often backfiring on them when the risks become too great. Jamie, as a hot tag, is the possible breakout star of the tandem, but the two seem to be tighter than the very snug work shirts they wear to the ring.
The Woodsmen - Hunter and Dakota: A resourceful pair that can survive the harshest conditions and take down the greatest of beasts. Calculated precision is the calling card of this pair when things are going well, but they’ve been on different pages through most of their time as a team thanks to Dakota’s desire to go too far to prove his worth.
Battling Baristas – Brynn and Tara: While neither are all that concerned with getting your name right, both will promptly hand you a venti double mocha L with plenty of froth if you underestimate them. Tandem offense, with Brynn serving as the high flyer, is a staple on their menu board.
The One-Notes – Carrie and Harper: Sure these ladies can grapple, but can they sing? No. Not a lick. That fact doesn’t stop them from trying, however. Carrie is the classically trained mat technician and Harper is the knockout specialist. Just don’t book them to sing you to or from the ring.
Referees Davis Hightower Mel Creech Angelo Barros "Junior" Hale Ben Coleman Masato Misawa Masami Misawa
Ring Announcer Mike Elevenbee
potential spot for additional OOWF information here
Physical Description: Sandra’s got wavy light brown hair that’s almost always in a wet look and has spent a lot of time in the Southern California sun. In the ring, she’s recently adopted a short-sleeved, short-legged, blue-orange wetsuit having abandoned the Baywatch-style red onepiece from her early days in OOWF. Boots and pads aren’t necessary for the Malibu-based youngster who is rarely not smiling.
Entrance Music: “Surf Wax America” by Weezer.
Finishers: “California Roll” (a rolling surfboard submission that goes into a sleeper hold after the third roll, while still with the legs locked in the surfboard position) Maliblu-Thunder Bomb (a blue thunder bomb, but with a catchy name)
Signature moves: Very European Uppercut Ripcord crescent kick Lungblower Running neck-breaker Hip attack to a seated opponent in the corner Dropkicks from any height or angle
Style(old school, technician, brawler, etc.): Very technical, but not afraid to strike her way out of a situation. Has learned a few things about throws and drops from Mac Flasher, who has recently sprung up as a mentor and friend.
Life before/during OOWF: The easy-going, bubbly Sandra graduated with honors from Pepperdine University, but isn’t exactly using that education degree in OOWF. She’s been surfing since the time that she could walk and was once a prodigy in the sport until burning out at 15. She continued to surf for the love of it in the decade-plus since, and is always up to teach younger surfers a thing or two when she’s on the beach. Also pretty handy with a skateboard or a pair of rollerblades if she needs to traverse on dry land. Since joining the OOWF roster, she’s struggled to find her footing in getting noticed until recently, but has formed a fast bond with Mac Flasher and sees him as mentor.
Build: Lean, but has a physique that indicates he is able to lift heavy things if needed.
Physical Description: Nuke is the epitome of punk if you believe him. In the ring, Nuke sports black jeans with patches of various bands sewn in and a pair of Doc Martens. Outside of the ring, he’ll be seen in the same ring garb, but with a black tank top or a black denim jacket depending on the temperature.
Entrance Music: “Hate Breeders” by The Misfits.
Finisher and Description of Finisher: Give ‘Em the Boot (a big boot that he’ll hit from any angle to a standing or seated opponent. Location of opponent doesn’t matter if he can get enough momentum to land the blow and if he can wrap his trusty chain around the boot beforehand, even better) Schoolboy rollup with a heaping helping of tights (and with feet on the ropes if applicable)
Signature moves: Standing headbutt Uppercut elbow Eye rake Chain-aided iron claw (used only in No-DQ matches)
Style(old school, technician, brawler, etc.): Nuke is a brawler, plain and simple. He has just enough technical know-how to get by, but will never be deemed a skilled grappler.
Life before/during OOWF: Nuke (given name: Reese Jennings) comes from an affluent Minneapolis suburb, having lived a childhood that never left him wanting for anything. After meeting Annie, a true street punk from the city, during his college years, Nuke fully dove into a punk lifestyle and acts as a gatekeeper to those who he feels doesn’t match his punk energy. Since joining OOWF, Annie and his father – Adam Jennings, who has made millions as the namesake of a colossal dealership chain in Minnesota – have joined his fight as he tries to make his name in the company by putting Mac Flasher’s pelt on his wall.
PORK: Something don’t seem right about this, why would Jack want us to meet him here?
Katie: Dunno, that’s what the note said though, meet me at the darkest end of the Hallway of Random Encounters at 6:30 for training.
PORK: Ok then
<they round the corner and both immediately get laid out by chairshots to the head. Two men in nice suits and sunglasses then proceed to destroy both Katie and PORK with shot after shot. A half smoked cigar flicks into the picture and we see a man wearing a neck brace walk into the frame. Of course, it’s Pete Quick>
PQ: That’s enough boys
<Quick puts his foot on the unconscious Katie, a referee appears………
ONE……TWO…….THREE! WINNER! AND NEW OOWF DDT IRON PERSON HEAVY METAL CHAMPION – PETE QUICK!
<the referee hands Quick the title, he slings it over his shoulders, then turn to the two men, who we now see are PHWF regulars Johnny Icepick and Joey Kielbasa. Quick pulls out a wad of money and pays them off>
PQ: Pleasure doing business with you boys. I believe a championship celebration is a must <Quick, looking pleased leaves flanked by Icepick and Kielbasa>
10/30/04: Doomy Doomy Doom Doom: Microplay def. Hardbody Harris and UnderDawg 01/26/05: MidWeek Mayhem: Canadian Dragon def. Microplay & Gimmickman 01/30/05: Dance of Death: Donovan Viper def. Canadian Dragon, Hardbody Harris & Microplay 05/25/05: MidWeek Mayhem: Niles Anderson def. Donovan Viper 09/25/05: Hell On Earth: Hardbody Harris def. Niles Anderson and Chris Alt 11/02/05: Midweek Mayhem: Microplay  def. Moosehead Jack 1 11/30/05: MidWeek Mayhem: Niles Anderson  def. Microplay 01/29/06: Dance of Death II: Moosehead Jack def. Niles Anderson & Concrete TG 01/29/06: Dance of Death II: Hardbody Harris  def. Moosehead Jack 05/10/06: MidWeek Mayhem: Chris Cole def. Hardbody Harris 11/26/06: Call To Arms: Title Declared Vacant 01/01/07: New Year's Evil II: UnderDawg def. Chris Cole, Ax-Man & Thim Reynolds 05/02/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Concrete TG def. UnderDawg 09/30/07: Hell On Earth III: Stank def. Concrete TG 04/27/08: Blood on the Great Wall: LD Williams def. Stank 09/28/08: Hell On Earth IV: Davin Moreland def. LD Williams 12/28/08: New Year's Evil IV: Eric O'Mac def. Davin Moreland 12/31/08: MidWeek Mayhem : Davin Moreland  def. Eric O'Mac 02/04/09: MidWeek Mayhem: LD Williams  def. Davin Moreland 02/25/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Davin Moreland  def. LD Williams & Poe 03/01/09: End of Days IV: Poe defeated Davin Moreland & LD Williams 09/23/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Ecosystem def. Poe 09/27/09: Hell On Earth V: Poe  def. Ecosystem 12/27/09: New Year's Evil V: Alexander Darling def. Poe 06/27/10: Mid-Summer Night's Scream 4: Firewoman def. Alexander Darling 10/31/10: Doomy Doom Doom 7: Tytan def. Firewoman 12/26/10: New Year's Evil VI: Davin Moreland  def. Tytan 01/12/11: MidWeek Mayhem: Tytan  def. Davin Moreland 01/30/11: Dance of Death 7: Alexander Darling  def. Tytan, Davin Moreland & Stan Fulton 01/30/11: Dance of Death 7: Moosehead Jack  def. Alexander Darling 02/02/11: MidWeek Mayhem: Moosehead Jack vacated the OOWF World Heavyweight Title 03/02/11: End of Days 6: Stank  def. Chris Evans 2 05/07/11: Stank vacates the OOWF World Heavyweight Title 05/07/11: Ecosystem  awarded the title 3 05/29/11: No Justice No Peace: Alexander Darling  def. Ecosystem & Stank 09/25/11: Hell On Earth 7: Eric O'Mac  def. Alexander Darling 10/30/11: Doomy Doomy Doom Doom 8: Stan Fulton def. Eric O'Mac 03/25/12: MADNESS 8: LD Williams  def. Stan Fulton 07/29/12: Bloodbath in Paradise 5: Chris Evans def. LD Williams 11/25/12: November Pain 6: Firewoman  def. Chris Evans & Ghosthead 03/31/13: MADNESS 9: Moosehead Jack  def. Firewoman 09/29/13: Hell On Earth IX: Danny Taylor def. Moosehead Jack 09/29/13: Hell On Earth IX: Ghosthead def. Danny Taylor 12/29/13: New Year's Evil 9: Christian Carter def. Ghosthead 12/29/13: New Year's Evil 9: Matt Folz def. Christian Carter 02/26/13: MidWeek Mayhem: Christian Carter  def. Matt Folz 04/30/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Ghosthead  def. Christian Carter & Stan Fulton 08/03/14: Territorial Beatings 9: Up Your Ass Vince: Stan Fulton  def. Ghosthead 12/28/14: New Year's Evil 10: Alexander Darling  def. Stan Fulton 05/31/15: Bloodbath in Paradise 6: Miranda Williams def. Alexander Darling, LD Williams, Chad Madison, Matt Folz & Tommy Wilder 07/29/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Tommy Wilder def. Miranda Williams 08/30/15: Judgement Eve XI: Chad Madison def. Tommy Wilder 09/27/15: Hell On Earth XI: Miranda Williams  def. Chad Madison & Tommy Wilder 09/30/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Alexander Darling  def. Miranda Williams 12/09/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Matt Folz  def. Alexander Darling 02/10/16: Midweek Mayhem: Rabbit Mask def. Matt Folz 05/29/16: Bloodbath in Paradise 7: Chad Madison  def. Rabbit Mask 08/17/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Tytan  def. Chad Madison 4 09/25/16: Hell On Earth XII: Firewoman  def. Tytan 10/26/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Beverly Cambridge def. Firewoman 01/29/17: End of Days XII: Zed def. Beverly Cambridge 03/29/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Ghosthead  def. Zed 05/28/17: Bloodbath in Paradise 8: Mai Muyo def. Ghosthead 09/24/17: Hell On Earth XIII: Stank  def. Mai Muyo 02/28/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Mac Flasher def. Stank 07/29/18: Mid Summer Night's Scream 10: Moosehead Jack  def. Mac Flasher 08/29/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Maple Leaf Massacre 3: Mac Flasher def. Moosehead Jack 09/30/18: Hell On Earth 14: Jack Bullet def. Mac Flasher 02/06/19: MidWeek Mayhem: Jack Bullet vacates the OOWF World Heavyweight Title 02/24/19: End of Days 12: Matt Folz  defeated Mama Juana 5 07/03/19: MidWeek Mayhem: Beverly Cambridge  def. Matt Folz 08/07/19: MidWeek Mayhem: Title Declared Vacant 6 05/06/23: Saturday Slam: Lexie Darling def. Alexander Darling 7
1 Hardbody Harris forfeited the title earlier in the night 2 OOWF Invitational Finals 3 Stank vacated the World Title 4 Via Disqualification in a World Class Rules Match 5 OOWF Invitational Finals 6 The Benefactor declared all three singles titles vacant 7 Tournament final match to crown the first champion since the OOWF's revival
OOWF World Tag Team Championship
10/30/04: Doomy Doomy Doom Doom: Hellion & Corax def. Moosehead Jack & Grunt and Ecosystem & LI 11/30/04: Money, Power and LSD: The Dragons def. Hellion & Corax 01/30/05: Dance of Death: Hellion & Corax  def. The Dragons, Morte & LI and Outback Jack & GatorBait 02/27/05: Home Sweet Hell : 3Piece Set def. Hellion & Corax 06/08/05: MidWeek Mayhem: FF Capslock & Stank def. 3Piece Set 06/15/05: MidWeek Mayhem: Ax-Man & Firechild 1 def. FF Capslock & Stank 07/06/05: MidWeek Mayhem: FF Capslock & Stank def. 3Piece Set 08/28/05: Judgment Eve PPV: 3Piece Set  def. Drink & Destroy 09/21/05: MidWeek Mayhem: Moosehead Jack & Concrete TG def. 3Piece Set 09/25/05: Hell On Earth: The Team From Down Under def. Moosehead Jack & Concrete TG, 3Piece Set and Drink & Destroy 11/27/05: More Money, More Power, More Respect wCw def. The Team From Down Under, Johnny Adrenaline & Attitude Adjuster and Mikey Styner & Dr. Murder 01/11/06: MidWeek Mayhem The Team From Down Under  def. wCw 01/25/06: MidWeek Mayhem The Devil's Brigade def. The Team From Down Under 03/26/06: MADNESS II wCw  def. The Devil's Brigade 04/30/06: Seasons In The Abyss The Chickenshit Heels def. wCw 06/07/06: MidWeek Mayhem: Nayr & Fly def. The Chickenshit Heels 06/25/06: MidSummer Night's Scream kz def. The Halfrican Americans, The Chickenshit Heels & wCw 09/13/06: MidWeek Mayhem: wCw  def. kz 09/24/06: Hell On Earth II: 3Piece Set 2 def. wCw 01/01/07: New Year's Evil II: Drink & Destroy  def. 3Piece Set & LD Williams & Canadian Dragon 02/28/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Weapon X def. Drink & Destroy, The Chickenshit Heels & The Defenestrators 07/29/07: Bloodbath in Paradise: The Chickenshit Heels  def. Weapon X & Capellan & Viper 09/30/07: Hell On Earth III: Hardbody Harris & Chris Alt 3 def. The Chickenshit Heels, Capellan & Viper and Phantos & Lucios 10/28/07: Doomy Doomy Doom Doom IV: Los Defenestrators def. Best Friends Forever 12/12/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Spin Hansen & DH Magnusson def. Los Defenestrators 12/26/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Los Defenestrators  def. Spin Hansen & DH Magnusson 12/30/07: New Year's Evil III: Defenestrators def. Los Defenestrators 02/24/08: End of Days III: Phantos & Lucios def. Defenestrators 03/30/08: MADNESS IV: Titles Declared Vacant 04/30/08: MidWeek Mayhem: The Midnight Sons  def. Phantos & Lucios, IHOP, BAD & The Heels 05/21/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Gaelic Storm def. The Midnight Sons 06/11/08: MidWeek Mayhem: The Midnight Sons  def. Gaelic Storm 06/11/08: MidWeek Mayhem: IHOP def. The Midnight Sons 07/30/08: Operation Onslaught: Red White & Bruised: Phantos & Lucios  def. IHOP 12/28/08: New Year's Evil IV: Fear Us def. Phantos & Lucios and Bryce Larson & Nayr 02/04/09: Fear Us stripped of the titles when LD Williams wins the World title 02/11/09: The Team From Down Under  become champions when Outback Jack picks Gatorbait as his new partner 04/26/09: Sunday Bloody Sunday: The Chickenshit Heels  4 def. kz, Run DEA and The Heroes Guild 06/07/09: Territorial Beatings IV: The Team From Down Under  def. The Chickenshit Heels 5 06/28/09: Mid-Summer Nights Scream III: kz  def. The Team From Down Under 08/19/09: MidWeek Mayhem: The Chickenshit Heels  6[/size] def. kz 09/27/09: Hell On Earth V: kz  def. The Chickenshit Heels & Phantos & Lucios 12/16/09: MidWeek Mayhem: The Midnight Sons  def. kz, Team Team and Team Fuel 01/31/10: Dance of Death 6: Team Team def. The Midnight Sons 02/28/10: End of Days 5: Poe & Stank def. Team Team, Texpress & Outback Jack & DH Magnusson 03/24/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Titles Held Up Following a Double Pin 03/28/10: MADNESS 5: Poe & Stank  def. Texpress 04/28/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Texpress  def. Poe & Stank 05/05/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Poe & Stank  def. Texpress 05/19/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Texpress  def. Poe & Stank and Outback Jack & DH Magnusson 06/27/10: Mid-Summer Nights Scream 4: Salvation def. Texpress 08/11/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Nothing Happened def. Valor (fm. Salvation) 09/26/10: Hell On Earth 6: Texpress  def. Nothing Happened 12/01/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Moosehead Jack & Stank def. Texpress 12/08/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Drink & Destroy def. Moosehead Jack & Stank, Texpress & The Flyin' Hawaiians 12/26/10: New Year's Evil VI: The Flyin Hawaiians def. Drink & Destroy 12/29/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Boardwalk Saints def. The Flyin Hawaii'ans, Drink & Destroy & Moosehead Jack & Stank 01/05/11: Midweek Mayhem: The Flyin Hawaiians  def. Boardwalk Saints 01/30/11: Dance of Death 7: Moosehead Jack & Stank  def. The Flyin Hawaii'ans, Drink & Destroy & Texpress 02/23/11: MidWeek Mayhem: The Brass Knuckle Kings def. Moosehead Jack 7 07/27/11: MidWeek Mayhem: Texpress  def. The Brass Knuckle Kings 08/28/11: Judgement Eve 7: The Flyin' Hawaii'ans  def. Texpress 09/25/11: Hell On Earth 7: Texpress  def. The Flyin' Hawaii'ans 11/27/11: November Pain V: The Flyin' Hawaii'ans  def. Texpress 04/11/12: MidWeek Mayhem: Attitude Adjuster & Honcho Williams def. Flyin' Hawaii'ans 04/29/12: Territorial Beatings 7: Texpress  def. Attitude Adjuster & Honcho Williams, Phoenix Rising & Flyin' Hawaii'ans 05/16/12: MidWeek Mayhem: Flyin' Hawaii'ans  def. Texpress 06/06/12: MidWeek Mayhem: Phoenix Rising def. Flyin' Hawaii'ans 07/29/12: Bloodbath in Paradise 5: Texpress  def. Phoenix Rising 10/31/12: MidWeek Mayhem: Banned From Everywhere def. Texpress, The Darlings, Power & Glory and LD Williams & Stank 11/28/12: MidWeek Mayhem: LD Williams & Stank def. Banned From Everywhere 01/09/13: MidWeek Mayhem: Darling Twins def. LD Williams & Stank 01/27/13: Dance of Death 9: Power & Glory def. The Darlings, Banned From Everywhere & LD Williams & Stank 02/15/13: Titles Vacated 8 02/24/13: End of Days 8: Saints of Sinners  def. Banned From Everywhere & Stan Fulton & Ecosystem to win the vacant titles 06/30/13: Let it Ride: Texpress  def. Saints of Sinners 9 09/29/13: Hell On Earth IX: Salvation def. Texpress 12/29/13: New Year's Evil 9: Murphy's Law def. Salvation 01/26/14: Dance of Death IX: Suicide Kings def. Murphy's Law, Texpress & Moosehead Jack & Chloe Neal 03/12/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Banned From Everywhere  def. Suicide Kings 05/07/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Suicide Kings  def. Banned From Everywhere & Texpress 05/14/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Banned From Everywhere  def. Suicide Kings & Texpress 05/21/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Tommy Wilder & Miranda Williams def. Suicide Kings, Texpress & Banned From Everywhere 07/09/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Strength in Silence def. Crash & Burn (Williams & Wilder) 09/28/14: Hell On Earth 10: Saints of Sinners (Moose & Chloe) def. Strength in Silence 03/29/15: MADNESS 11: Banned From Everywhere  def. Saints of Sinners, Ecosystem & Tytan and Road Banger Thrash & Demon Smoke 04/15/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Murphy's Law  def. Banned From Everywhere 05/31/15: Bloodbath in Paradise 6: Tytan & Ecosystem  def. Murphy's Law 06/24/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Titles Declared Vacant 10 06/27/15: Mid-Summer Night's Scream 7: Tytan & Rabbit Mask def. Ecosystem & Mai Muyo 08/30/15: Judgement Eve XI: Sisters of Sin  def. The Awakening 09/27/15: Hell On Earth XI: Royalty def. Sisters of Sin 11/04/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Crash & Burn  def. Royalty 12/30/15: MidWeek Mayhem: New Year's Evil: The Circle def. Crash & Burn 03/09/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Royalty def. The Circle 03/16/16: MidWeek Mayhem: kz  def. Royalty 03/23/16: MidWeek Mayhem: The Circle  def. kz 03/27/16: MADNESS 12: Sisters of Sin  def. The Circle, kz & Royalty 06/29/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Beer Money  def. S & M 07/31/16: Mid Summer Night's Scream 8: MJM incorporated def. Beer Money 08/31/16: MidWeek Mayhem: The Circle  def. MJM Incorporated 09/14/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Murphy's Law  Def. The Circle 09/25/16: Hell On Earth XII: Shannon Mann  & Mai Muyo  were declared winners of the Murphy's Law vs. MJM Inc vs. Circle vs. Beer Money TLC match 11 10/26/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Saints of Sinners (Moosehead Jack, LD Williams & Stank) def. The Darling Twins 12 12/28/16: MidWeek Mayhem New Year's Evil: The Darling Twins (2) def. Saints of Sinners 02/01/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Beer Money  def. The Darling Twins 03/26/17: MADNESS 13: Gods of War def. Beer Money 06/21/17: MidWeek Mayhem: LD Williams & Matt Folz def. Gods of War 06/21/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Beer Money  def. LD Williams & Matt Folz 08/30/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Texpress  def. Beer Money, The Circle & Banned From Everywhere 01/28/18: End of Days X1: Beer Money  def. Texpress 02/28/18: MidWeek Mayhem: The Circle  def. Beer Money 04/25/18: MidWeek Mayhem: The Saints of Sinners (Fulton/Folz) def. The Circle & Texpress 12/30/18: New Year's Evil 12: Kylie Mignolio & Bridget O'Malley def. The Saints of Sinners 04/03/19: MidWeek Mayhem: Clan Quinn (Moose & Fire) def. The Frenemies (Kylie & Bridget) 06/26/19: MidWeek Mayhem: Los Defenstrators  def. Clan Quinn 07/28/19: Mid-Summer Night's Scream 11: Frenemies  def. Los Defenstrators 09/04/19: MidWeek Mayhem: Titles Vacated 13 05/20/23: Saturday Slam: The Woodsmen def. Banned From Everywhere, Shokan Dojo, and The One-Notes 14
1 Firechild was substituting for Chris Cole, his half of the title was turned over to Cole 2 As Mierda Del Pollo Rudos 3 As Los Defenestrators 4 As Phantos & Lucios 5 Attitude Adjuster was injured, Outback Jack defeated Johnny Adrenaline in a singles match for the title 6 As Super Strong Honda & Burning Kawasaki 7 Stank was competing in the OOWF Invitational and unable to defend the titles 8 Power & Glory Vacate the titles and leave the company due to their father's medical emergency 9 Via Disqualification in a World Class Rules Match 10 Tytan turns on Ecosystem 11 Shannon and Mai both pulled down a belt simultaneously, GM Nate Corbitt declared them co-champions 12 Saints wrestled under Freebird Rules. Match was Tag Team Invitational Tournament Final for the vacant titles 13 The scheduled MidWeek Mayhem did not occur and the OOWF ceased operations 14 A Nowhere Brawl and Grille Invitational Elimination bar fight to crown the first champions since the OOWF's revival
OOWF Intercontinental Championship
10/01/04: Gettin' Rowdy: Johnny Adrenaline d. Blade, Gimmickman, Eric O'Mac, LD Williams and Concrete TG 10/30/04: Doomy Doomy Doom Doom: Concrete TG def. Johnny Adrenaline 02/27/05: Home Sweet @#!*% : Johnny Adrenaline def. Concrete TG 05/29/05: Blood, Sweat & Fear: Blackdragon def. Johnny Adrenaline 09/25/05: Hell On Earth: LD Williams def. Blackdragon, Eric O'Mac and Mr. Jealous 11/23/05: MidWeek Mayhem: Chris Alt def. LD Williams 11/27/05: More Money, More Power, More Respect: LD Williams  def. Chris Alt 02/15/06: MidWeek Mayhem: Capellan def. LD Williams & Uncle Entity 04/05/06: MidWeek Mayhem: Chris Alt  def. Capellan & Niles Anderson 05/03/06: MidWeek Mayhem: Chris Alt forfeits the title 06/06/06: D-Day Special: Niles Anderson def. Capellan in a six man ladder match to fill the vacant Intercontinental Title 06/21/06: MidWeek Mayhem: Altrageous  defeated Concrete TG, Sriram and Uncle Entity 1 09/24/06: Hell On Earth II:Capellan  def. Altrageous 01/03/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Blackdragon  def. Capellan 01/24/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Capellan  def. Blackdragon 01/28/07: Dance of Death III: Niles Anderson  def. Capellan 04/18/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Niles Anderson stripped of the OOWF Intercontinental Title 04/29/07: Territorial Beatings III: Moosehead Jack def. Niles Anderson, Outback Jack & Ax-Man 07/29/07: Bloodbath in Paradise: Firechild def. Moosehead Jack 09/30/07: Hell On Earth III: Outback Jack def. Firechild 12/12/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Donovan Viper def. Outback Jack 01/27/08: Dance of Death IV: Outback Jack  def. Donovan Viper, Ryan Hardcore & Moosehead Jack 02/24/08: End of Days III: F. Fonzworth MacCappington III def. Outback Jack 03/19/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Moosehead Jack  def. F. Fonzworth MacCappington III 03/19/08: MidWeek Mayhem: F. Fonzworth MacCappington III  def. Moosehead Jack 03/30/08: MADNESS IV: Alexander Darling def. F. Fonzworth MacCappington 04/27/08: Blood on the Great Wall: Donovan Viper  def. Alexander Darling & Capellan 06/29/08: Brawl of Saigon: Alexander Darling  def. Donovan Viper 07/09/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Moosehead Jack  def. Alexander Darling 07/27/08: Operation Onslaught: Red, White & Bruised: Alexander Darling  def. Moosehead Jack 09/24/08: MidWeek Mayhem: DH Magnusson def. Alexander Darling & Poe 10/15/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Spin Hansen def. DH Magnusson 2 12/03/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Firewoman def. Spin Hansen 03/01/09: End of Days IV: Tytan def. Firewoman 03/25/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Chris Cole def. Tytan 04/01/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Title Declared Vacant 3 04/26/09: Sunday Bloody Sunday: The Dead def. Chris Evans in a tournament final 06/28/09: Mid-Summer Nights Scream III: Stank def. The Dead 12/27/09: New Year's Evil V: Davn Moreland def. Stank 04/07/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Moosehead Jack  def. Davin Moreland 06/27/10: Mid-Summer Nights Scream 4: Ravenna Blue def. Moosehead Jack, The Dead & Chris Evans 07/25/10: Bloodbath in Paradise 3: The Dead  def. Ravenna Blue, Moosehead Jack & Chris Evans 09/26/10: Hell On Earth 6: Chris Evans def. The Dead 12/26/10: New Year's Evil VI: Matt Folz def. Chris Evans 03/16/11: MidWeek Mayhem: GM Ecosystem stripped Matt Folz of the Intercontinental title and declared himself the champion 03/27/11: MADNESS VII: Stan Fulton def. Ecosystem 06/15/11: MidWeek Mayhem: Zane Myers def. Stan Fulton 06/26/11: Mid-Summer Night's Scream 5: Stan Fulton  def. Zane Myers & JW Westgaard 08/28/11: Judgement Eve 7: Chris Evans  def. Stan Fulton 09/14/11: MidWeek Mayhem: El Lobo Sangriento def. Chris Evans 09/15/11: MidWeek Mayhem: GM Selena awards the Title to Chris Evans  4 02/26/12: End of Days 7: Psykle def. Chris Evans & Ricky Soaring Eagle 03/25/12: MADNESS 8: Matt Folz  def. Psykle, Ricky Soaring Eagle & Stank 05/27/12: Boston Massacre: Danny Taylor def. Stank, Matt Folz & Ricky Soaring Eagle 06/24/12: Mid-Summer Night's Scream 6: Ricky Soaring Eagle def. Danny Taylor & Rabbit Mask 07/29/12: Bloodbath in Paradise 5: Rabbit Mask def. Ricky Soaring Eagle & Danny Taylor 08/26/12: Judgement Eve 8: Danny Taylor  def. Rabbit Mask 11/25/12: November Pain 6: Matt Folz  def. Danny Taylor 12/30/12: New Year's Evil 9: DK Murphy def. Matt Folz 04/03/13: MidWeek Mayhem: Mai Muyo def. DK Murphy 07/28/13: Bloody Frontiers: Alexis Darling def. Mai Muyo 11/24/13: November Pain 6: Tommy Wilder def. Alexis Darling & Firewoman 12/29/13: New Year's Evil 9: Alexis Darling  def. Tommy Wilder 01/26/14: Dance of Death IX: Mai Muyo  def. LD Williams, Alexis Darling & Stan Fulton 04/09/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Christian Carter def. Mai Muyo 04/09/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Alexis Darling  def. Christian Carter 05/21/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Stank  def. Alexis Darling & Firewoman 08/31/14: Judgment Eve 10: Mai Muyo  def. Stank & Alexis Darling 10/22/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Alexis Darling  def. Mai Muyo 11/30/14: November Pain 7: Firewoman  def. Alexis Darling 03/29/15: MADNESS 11: Mai Muyo  def. Firewoman 04/08/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Firewoman  def. Mai Muyo 04/26/15: Blood on the Walls 3: Mai Muyo  def. Firewoman 06/27/15: Mid-Summer Night's Scream 7: Ghosthead def. Mai Muyo 08/30/15: Judgement Eve XI: Zed def. Ghosthead 11/29/15: November Pain 8: Tytan  def. Zed 12/23/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Christian Carter  def. Tytan 01/20/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Mai Muyo  def. Christian Carter 04/06/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Stank  def. Mai Muyo 05/11/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Tommy Wilder  def. Stank 06/29/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Firewoman  def. Tommy Wilder 07/31/16: Mid Summer Night's Scream 8: Ecosystem  def. Firewoman 09/07/16: MidWeek Mayhem: LD Williams  def. Agrius 5 09/25/16: Hell On Earth XII: Miranda Williams def. LD Williams & Tommy Wilder 11/27/16: November Pain 9: Rabbit Mask  def. Miranda Williams 11/30/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Mac Flasher def. Rabbit Mask 12/28/16: MidWeek Mayhem New Year's Evil: Chloe Neal def. Mac Flasher 01/29/17: End of Days: Mac Flasher  def. Chloe Neal 02/22/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Chloe Neal  def. Mac Flasher 03/26/17: MADNESS 13: Nick Fleming def. Mac Flasher, Chloe Neal & Moosehead Jack 05/03/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Jack Bullet def. Nick Fleming 05/17/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Nick Fleming  def. Jack Bullet 05/28/17: Bloodbath in Paradise 8: Jack Bullet  def. Nick Fleming 08/23/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Ecosystem  def. Jack Bullet 09/24/17: Hell On Earth XIII: Jack Bullet  def. Ecosystem 11/26/17: November Pain 10: Zed  def. Jack Bullet 12/31/17: New Year's Evil XI: Jack Bullet  def. Zed 01/10/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Mai Muyo  def. Jack Bullet 02/28/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Bridget O'Malley def. Mai Muyo 05/27/18: Bloodbath in Paradise 8: Zed  def. Bridget O'Malley 08/29/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Maple Leaf Massacre 3: Kylie Mignolio def. Zed 09/05/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Stank  def. Kylie Mignolio 09/12/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Bridget O'Malley  def. Stank 09/19/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Zed  def. Bridget O'Malley 05/01/19: MidWeek Mayhem: Stacy Kirkland def. Zed 08/07/19: MidWeek Mayhem: Title Declared Vacant 6 05/06/23: Saturday Slam: Jeff Mangyuniku def. Bridget O'Malley 7 06/03/23: Saturday Slam: Awesome Bill From Dawsonville def. Jeff Mangyuniku
1 Niles Anderson disappeared, thus the title was declared vacant and immediately filled 2 DH Magnusson had to forfeit the title due to injury 3 Title was declared vacant when Chris Cole lost a retirement match to Davin Moreland 4 El Lobo Sangriento Vacates the Title due to also being Onslaught Champion 5 Agrius was defending the title for Ecosystem 6 The Benefactor declared all three singles titles vacant 7 Tournament final match to crown the first champion since the OOWF's revival
OOWF Onslaught Championship
05/29/05: Blood, Sweat & Fear: Firechild def. Thim Reynolds – Tournament Final 06/26/05: Maple Leaf Massacre: Capellan def. Firechild 07/13/05: MidWeek Mayhem: Thim Reynolds def. Capellan 08/28/05: Judgment Eve PPV: Firechild  def. Thim Reynolds 09/25/05: Hell On Earth: Thim Reynolds  def. Firechild, Capellan and GimmickMan 10/30/05: Doomy Doomy Doom Doom II: Canadian Dragon def. Thim Reynolds & Uncle Entity 11/30/05: MidWeek Mayhem: Corax def. Canadian Dragon 12/07/05: Midweek Mayhem: Eric O'Mac def. Corax, Canadian Dragon and Thim Reynolds 03/01/06: MidWeek Mayhem: Eric O'Mac is stripped of the Onslaught Championship 1 03/26/06: MADNESS II: Uncle Entity def. Concrete TG in a Tournament Final 05/28/06: Donnybrook in Donny Brook: Eric O'Mac  def. Uncle Entity 06/25/06: MidSummer Night's Scream: Jim Jones def. Eric O'Mac 07/30/06: Unfriendly Confines: Thim Reynolds  def. Jim Jones, Concrete TG & Blackdragon 09/24/06: Hell On Earth II: Firechild  def. Thim Reynolds, Blackdragon & Eric O'Mac 11/26/06: Call To Arms: Spin Hansen def. Firechild 02/14/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Donovan Viper def. Spin Hansen 02/25/07: End of Days III: Blackdragon def. Donovan Viper 03/14/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Donovan Viper  def. Blackdragon 05/02/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Spin Hansen  def. Donovan Viper 06/27/07: Mid-Summer Night's Scream II: Hardbody Harris def. Spin Hansen 07/18/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Nayr def. Hardbody Harris & Spin Hansen 08/26/07: Judgment Eve II: Knife defeated Nayr & Moosehead Jack 09/30/07: Hell On Earth III: Davin Moreland def. Knife 10/28/07: Doomy Doomy Doom Doom IV: Moosehead Jack def. Davin Moreland, Ryan Hardcore, Knife and Concrete TG 10/31/07: MidWeek Mayhem: Davin Moreland  def. Moosehead Jack 02/24/08: End of Days III: Eric O'Mac  def. Davin Moreland, Alexander Darling and The Dead 03/30/08: MADNESS IV: Bunny def. Eric O'Mac 04/27/08: Blood on the Great Wall: Firewoman def. Bunny 06/25/08: MidWeek Mayhem: The Dead def. Firewoman 07/02/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Firewoman  def. The Dead 07/09/08: Firewoman stripped of the Onslaught Championship 07/16/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Attitude Adjuster def DH Magnusson in a tournament final 09/10/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Firewoman  def. Attitude Adjuster 09/17/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Seamus McNasty def. Firewoman, Attitude Adjuster & Tyson Kincaid 10/26/08: Doomy Doomy Doom Doom IV: Chris Cole def. Seamus McNasty, Damon Wrath & Alexander Darling 12/24/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Alexander Darling def. Chris Cole 01/07/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Seamus McNasty  def. Alexander Darling 02/18/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Matte def. Seamus McNasty 03/01/09: End of Days IV: DH Magnusson def. Matte 03/18/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Matte  def. DH Magnusson 04/15/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Thim Reynolds  def. Matte 06/17/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Ecosystem def. Thim Reynolds & Bunny 2 07/29/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Matte  def. Ecosystem 08/12/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Outback Jack def. Matte 08/30/09: Judgment Eve IV: Matt Folz def. Outback Jack 10/28/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Firewoman  def. Matt Folz 12/09/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Matt Folz  def. Firewoman 01/27/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Ravenna Blue def. Matt Folz 02/28/10: End of Days 5: LD Williams def. Ravenna Blue & Concrete TG 04/25/10: Territorial Beatings 5: Spin Hansen  def. LD Williams 05/12/10: MidWeek Mayhem: LD Williams  def. Spin Hansen 05/30/10: Storming the Beach: Matt Folz  def. LD Williams 06/23/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Stan Fulton def. Matt Folz 06/27/10: Mid-Summer Nights Scream 4: Spin Hansen  def. Stan Fulton, LD Williams & Matt Folz 07/07/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Stan Fulton  def. Spin Hansen 07/25/10: Bloodbath in Paradise 3: LD Williams  def. Stan Fulton 08/18/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Stan Fulton  def. LD Williams 09/01/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Chad Madison def. Stan Fulton 09/15/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Stan Fulton  def. Chad Madison 09/26/10: Hell On Earth 6: LD Williams  def. Stan Fulton 11/28/10: November Pain 3: Sean Moore def. LD Williams, Alexander Darling & Davin Moreland 12/26/10: New Year's Evil VI: J-P Sparxx def. Sean Moore 01/26/11: MidWeek Mayhem: Chris Evans def. J-P Sparxx 04/20/11: MidWeek Mayhem: Alexander Darling  def. Chris Evans 05/29/11: No Justice No Peace: Stank def. Ecosystem & Alexander Darling 06/26/11: Mid-Summer Night's Scream: El Lobo Sangriento def. Stank 09/25/11: Hell On Earth 7: Moosehead Jack  def. El Lobo Sangriento 11/23/11: MidWeek Mayhem: J-P Sparxx  def. Moosehead Jack 03/21/12: MidWeek Mayhem: Crowing  def. J-P Sparxx 04/18/12: MidWeek Mayhem: Rabbit Mask d Crowing & Ghosthead 05/09/12: MidWeek Mayhem: Ghosthead def. Rabbit Mask & Crowing 09/30/12: Hell On Earth 8: The Kai def. Ghosthead 01/02/13: MidWeek Mayhem: Moosehead Jack  def. The Kai 02/13/13: MidWeek Mayhem: Chad Madison  def. Moosehead Jack 04/10/13: MidWeek Mayhem: Tommy Wilder def. Chad Madison 05/26/13: Territorial Beatings 8: Chris Evans def. Tommy Wilder 05/26/13: Territorial Beatings 8: Amazing Jos def. Chris Evans 09/29/13: Hell On Earth IX: Miranda Williams def. Amazing Jos 11/24/13: November Pain 6: Stank  def. Miranda Williams 03/19/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Ecosystem  def. Stank 05/25/14: Blood, Sweat & Tears II: LD Williams  def. Ecosystem 07/23/14: MidWeek Mayhem: Rory Albright def. LD Williams 11/30/14: November Pain 7: Tytan def. Rory Albright, Stank & Jose Reyna 02/22/15: End of Days 10: Dre Gaines def. Tytan & Stank 03/11/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Stank  def. Dre Gaines 03/18/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Dre Gaines  def. Stank 3 03/25/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Stank  def. Dre Gaines 04/26/15: Blood on the Walls 3: Dre Gaines  def. Stank 05/31/15: Bloodbath in Paradise 6: Jerome Hand def. Dre Gaines 07/26/15: Big Game PPV: Dre Gaines  def. Jerome Hand 08/12/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Firewoman  def. Dre Gaines 08/19/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Awesome Bill def. Firewoman 08/26/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Beverly Cambridge def. Awesome Bill 10/07/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Awesome Bill  def. Beverly Cambridge 10/28/15: MidWeek Mayhem: Jason Allen def. Awesome Bill 11/25/15: Midweek Mayhem: Awesome Bill  def. Jason Allen 12/23/15: Midweek Mayhem: Beverly Cambridge  def. Awesome Bill, Stank & Zed 03/23/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Zed def. Beverly Cambridge 03/27/16: MADNESS 12: Beverly Cambridge  def. Zed 04/06/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Zed  def. Beverly Cambridge 05/04/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Lindsay McAllister def. Zed 05/29/16: Bloodbath in Paradise 7: Shannon Mann def. Lindsay McAllister 07/06/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Lindsay McAllister  def. Shannon Mann 10/12/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Rabbit Mask  def. Lindsay McAllister 11/30/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Rabbit Mask vacates title 01/04/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Mari Ariana def. Nick Fleming 4 05/28/17: Bloodbath in Paradise 8: Shannon Mann  def. Mari Ariana 06/28/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Kylie Mignolio def. Shannon Mann 07/12/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Shannon Mann  def. Kylie Mignolio 3 07/30/17: Mid Summer Night's Scream 9: Miranda Williams  def. Shannon Mann 08/09/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Kylie Mignolio  def. Miranda Williams 09/24/17: Hell On Earth XIII: Shizuru-mune Mangyuniku-Cox def Kylie Mignolio, Nick Fleming & Bridget O'Malley 11/01/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Matt Folz  def. Shizuru-mune Mangyuniku-Cox 3 11/08/17: MidWeek Mayhem: Shizuru-mune Mangyuniku-Cox  def. Matt Folz 3 11/26/17: November Pain: Matt Folz  def. Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox 12/05/17: House Show, Ypsilanti, MI: Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox  def. Matt Folz 12/31/17: New Year's Evil XI: Matt Folz  def Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox, Firewoman & Demon Smoke 04/18/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Jack Bullet def. Matt Folz 07/29/18: Mid Summer Night's Scream 10: Shizuru def. Jack Bullet, Ghosthead & Mai Muyo 09/30/18: Hell On Earth 14: Shannon Mann  def. Shizuru & Ghosthead 10/21/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Shizuru  def. Shannon Mann 11/28/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Trent Powers def. Shizuru & Mac Flasher 12/02/18: MidWeek Mayhem: Blood on the Great Wall 2: Sebastian Davis def. Mac Flasher & Trent Powers 04/24/19: MidWeek Mayhem: Mac Flasher def. Sebastian Davis 08/07/19: MidWeek Mayhem: Firewoman  def. Mac Flasher 08/07/19: MidWeek Mayhem: Title Declared Vacant 5
1 Eric O'Mac moved to the Intercontinental Title Division and was stripped of the title. 2 Bunny was subbing for the potentially recently deceased Matte 3 Via Disqualification 4 Finals of an Elimination series to crown a new champion 5 The Benefactor declared all three singles titles vacant
Onslaught Championship Rules 1. Matches are 15 minute time limit - unless specifically requested otherwise 2. The title can change hands on an intentional disqualification or count out 3. Each wrestler gets three rope breaks during the match, after that, the ropes can no longer save them 4. Each wrestler gets three warnings from the referee, the fourth results in a disqualification, if it is the champ that gets disqualified, they lose the title 5. 20 count before a count out (old World Class rules I believe) 6. Handshake before, and after, the match (as often as possible)
OOWF Campeonas de Trios
06/04/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Run DLP Classic def. Attitude Adjuster, The Dead & Moosehead Jack 06/18/08: MidWeek Mayhem: Worlds Greatest toaster oven Team & Attitude Adjuster def. Phantos, Lucios & Alexis Darling 07/30/08: Operation Onslaught: Red, White & Bruised: Justin Sane, Bunny & Carl From Fresno def. The Worlds Greatest @#!*% Team & Attitude Adjuster 08/27/08: MidWeek Mayhem: IHOP & The Amnesiac def. Insane Homeless Bunny 10/26/08: Doomy Doomy Doom Doom V: Gods & Monsters and Eric O'Mac def. IHOP & The Amnesiac 11/12/08: MidWeek Mayhem: IHOP  def. Gods & Monsters and Eric O'Mac 01/28/09: MidWeek Mayhem: The Heroes Guild def. IHOP 01/28/09: MidWeek Mayhem: IHOP  def. The Heroes Guild 04/26/09: Sunday Bloody Sunday: Cowboy Up & Beer Baron def. IHOP 05/27/09: MidWeek Mayhem: The Heroes Guild def. Cowboy Up & Beer Baron 1 06/17/09: MidWeek Mayhem: IHOP  def. The Heroes Guild 07/01/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Team FuEL def. IHOP 08/05/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Run DLP  def. Team Fuel 08/12/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Team Fuel  def. Run DLP 08/19/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Run DLP  def. Team Fuel 08/26/09: MidWeek Mayhem: Title Declared Vacant 2 08/30/09: Judgment Eve IV: Run DLP  def. Team Fuel, IHOP & Team TeAM 09/28/09: Davin Moreland forfeits the titles due to injuries to Phantos & Lucios 10/20/10: MidWeek Mayhem: Concrete TG, Ravenna Blue & Chris Evans def. Bryce Larson, The Dead & Tyler Vangarde in a Tournament Final 01/19/11: MidWeek Mayhem: Run DLP  def. Chris Evans, Ravenna Blue & Concrete TG 04/13/11: MidWeek Mayhem: Drink & Destroy def. Run DLP 07/13/11: MidWeek Mayhem: Regicide & Stan Fulton def. Drink & Destroy 09/21/11: MidWeek Mayhem: Drink & Destroy & El Lobo Sangriento def. Regicide & Stan Fulton 11/23/11: MidWeek Mayhem: Alexander Darling & Flyin' Hawaii'ans def. Drink & Destroy & El Lobo Sangriento 02/01/12: Dance of Death 8: LD Williams, Stank & Davin Moreland def. Alexander Darling & Flyin' Hawaii'ans 02/29/12: MidWeek Mayhem: Texpress & Danny Taylor def. LD Williams, Stank & Justin Sane 3 04/04/12: MidWeek Mayhem: Chris Evans & Flyin' Hawaii'ans def. Danny Taylor & Texpress 05/09/12: MidWeek Mayhem: Titles Held Up 4 03/30/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Royalty def. Saints of Sinners 04/27/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Drink & Destroy def. Royalty 05/11/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Royalty  def. Drink & Destroy 05/29/16: Bloodbath in Paradise 7: Saints of Sinners def. Royalty 06/15/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Drink & Destroy  def. Saints of Sinners 06/29/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Saints of Sinners  def. Drink & Destroy 07/13/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Drink & Destroy  def. Saints of Sinners 07/27/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Saints of Sinners  def. Drink & Destroy 07/31/16: Mid Summer Night's Scream 8: Drink & Destroy  def. Saints of Sinners 08/03/16: MidWeek Mayhem: The Awakening def. Drink & Destroy 09/14/16: MidWeek Mayhem: Zed & Banned From Everywhere def. The Awakening 09/25/16: Hell On Earth XII: The Awakening  def. Zed & Banned From Everywhere 5 11/27/16: November Pain 9: Titles Declared Vacant
1 Blitz was injured during the match, Concrete TG was awarded his share of the title 2 Double pin to end the match, title held up to be filled at Judgment Eve IV 3 Sane was substituting for an injured Davin Moreland 4 General Manager Selena Held titles up after a Triple Fall where all 3 teams involved were defeated 5 Ecosystem replaces Beverly Cambridge on Nov 2 after Cambridge wins the World Title
Grand Slam Champions (World, World Tag Team , Intercontinental & Onslaught Championship) 1. Moosehead Jack (October 28, 2007 - Onslaught) 2. Chris Cole (March 25, 2009 - Intercontinental) 3. LD Williams (February 28, 2010 - Onslaught) 4. Davin Moreland (August 11, 2010 - Tag Team) 5. Ecosystem (March 26, 2011 - Intercontinental) 6. Stank (May 29, 2011 - Onslaught) 7. Alexander Darling (June 6, 2012 - Tag Team) 8. Firewoman (June 6, 2012 - Tag Team) 9. Stan Fulton (September 29, 2013 - Tag Team) 10. Tytan (November 30, 2014 - Onslaught) 11. Tommy Wilder (July 29, 2015 - World) 12. Ghosthead (December 30, 2015 - Tag Team) 13. Rabbit Mask (February 10, 2016 - World) 14. Matt Folz (July 31, 2016 - Tag Team) 15. Miranda Williams (September 25, 2016 - Intercontinental)
OOWF Invitational Tournament Winners 2005 - UnderDawg (def. Moosehead Jack) 2006 - Chris Alt (def. Moosehead Jack) 2007 - Firechild (def. Altrageous) 2008 - Chris Cole (def. Capellan) 2009 - Stank (def. Moosehead Jack) 2010 - Matt Folz (def. Firewoman) 2011 - Stank (def. Chris Evans) 2012 - LD Williams (def. Danny Taylor) 2013 - Moosehead Jack (def. Matt Folz) 2014 - Alexander Darling (def. Ghosthead) 2015 - Chad Madison [as The Zax] (def. Miranda Williams) 2016 - Firewoman (def. Zed) 2017 - Mai Muyo (def. LD Williams) 2018 - Zed (def. Ecosystem) 2019 - Matt Folz (def. Mama Juana)
OOWF Invitational Tag Team Tournament Winners 2005 - Revolution XXX (Eric O'Mac & Carl Coolname) 2008 - Gods & Monsters (Poe & Tytan) 2009 - Team TEaM (Ecosystem & Tytan) 2010 - Matt Folz & Stan Fulton (def. The Flyin' Hawaii'ans) 2011 - Chris Evans & J-P Sparxx (def. Nothing Happened) 2012 - Texpress (def. Power & Glory) 2013 - No Tournament 2014 - Saints of Sinners (Moosehead Jack & Chloe) (def. Royalty) 2015 - Murphy's Law (def. Sisters of Sin) 2016 - Saints of Sinners (Moosehead Jack, LD Williams & Stank) 2017 - The Darling Twins (Jack Bullet & Zed)
OOWF Invitational Campeonas de Trios Tournament Winners 2009 - Run DLP
OOWF Imperial Onslaught Winners 2005 - Donovan Viper 2006 - Thim Reynolds 2007 - Donovan Viper 2008 - Eric O'Mac 2009 - Alexander Darling 2010 - Bryce Larson 2011 - Danny Taylor 2012 - Ghosthead 2013 - Matt Folz 2014 - Alexander Darling 2015 - Rabbit Mask 2016 - Beverly Cambridge 2017 - Moosehead Jack 2018 - Kylie Mignolio
OOWF Hall of Fame UnderDawg (2009) Donovan Viper (2009) Ecosystem (2009) Concrete TG (2010) The Chickenshit Heels (2010) Chris Cole (2011) Poe (2011) Spin Hansen (2011) Blackdragon (2012) Hardbody Harris (2012) Niles Anderson (2013) 3 Piece Set (2013) Outback Jack (2013) DH Magnusson (2014) Davin Moreland (2014) Stan Fulton (2016) Danny Taylor (2016) Tommy Wilder (2017) Chris Evans (2017) LD Williams (2017) Rabbit Mask (2018) Chloe Cox (2018) Edra Cox(2018)
In Memorium Semaj B - car explosion - June 29, 2005 Corax - auto accident - May 10, 2006 Spin Hansen - suicide - December 18, 2010 Chloe Neal - Presumed Drowning - May 28, 2017 Edra Cox - Presumed Drowning - May 28, 2017 Mamma Williams - Undisclosed - August 21, 2017
Wrestler of the Year 2018 - Jack Bullet 2017 - Zed 2016 - Tytan 2015 - Tommy Wilder 2014 - Stan Fulton 2013 - (tie)Moosehead Jack & Matt Folz 2012 - LD Williams 2011 - Stank 2010 - Alexander Darling 2009 - Poe 2008 - Stank 2007 - Stank 2006 - Thim Reynolds 2005 - Donovan Viper
Tag Team of the Year 2018 - The Saints of Sinners (Stan Fulton & Matt Folz) 2017 - Beer Money (SYB & Skurge) 2016 - The Circle (Ghosthead & Shannon Mann) 2015 - Sisters of Sin (Chloe & Edra) 2014 - Crash & Burn (Tommy Wilder & Miranda Williams) 2013 - The Saints of Sinners (Stank & LD Williams) 2012 - Texpress (Chad Madison & Zane Myers) 2011 - Drink & Destroy (Danny Taylor & Outback Jack) 2010 - Texpress (Chad Madison & Zane Myers) 2009 - kz (Moosehead Jack & LD Williams) 2008 - Phantos & Lucios (later, Texpress) 2007 - The Chickenshit Heels (Johnny Adrenaline & Attitude Adjuster) 2006 - The Chickenshit Heels (Johnny Adrenaline & Attitude Adjuster) 2005 - 3Piece Set (Chris Cole, Ax-Man & Firechild)
Face of the Year 2018 - Jack Bullet 2017 - Mac Flasher 2016 - Zed 2015 - (tie) Tommy Wilder & Matt Folz 2014 - Matt Folz 2013 - Mai Muyo 2012 - Danny Taylor 2011 - Alexander Darling 2010 - (tie) Ravenna Blue & Alexander Darling 2009 - Ecosystem 2008 - (tie) Concrete TG and Phantos & Lucios 2007 - Firechild 2006 - Capellan 2005 - Hardbody Harris
Heel of the Year 2018 - Moosehead Jack 2017 - Zed 2016 - Tytan 2015 - Alexander Darling 2014 - (tie) Stan Fulton & Christian Carter 2013 - Moosehead Jack 2012 - Chris Evans 2011 - Ecosystem 2010 - Moosehead Jack 2009 - Firewoman 2008 - Eric O’Mac 2007 - Stank 2006 - The Chickenshit Heels 2005 - Donovan Viper
Breakthrough Star of the Year 2018 - No Award Given 2017 - (tie) Jack Bullet and Nick Fleming 2016 - Mac Flasher 2015 - Zed 2014 - Spider McNulty 2013 - Amazing Jos 2012 - Awesome Bill From Dawsonville 2011 - El Lobo Sangriento 2010 - Ravenna Blue 2009 - Chris Evans 2008 - Firewoman 2007 - Voltage 2006 - The Halfrican Americans 2005 - (tie) Firechild & Capellan
Match of the Year 2018 - Ghosthead vs. Shizuru - Black Cat Match, MidWeek Mayhem: Alaskan Massacre 2017 - Matt Folz vs. Mai Muyo - 2017 OOWF Invitational Finals 2016 - Tommy Wilder vs. Ecosystem - Bloodbath in Paradise 7 2015 - Matt Folz vs. Alexander Darling vs. Chad Madison vs. Tommy Wilder vs. Miranda Williams vs. LD Williams - Bloodbath in Paradise 6 2014 - Elimination Match (Moosehead Jack, Stank, LD Williams, Chloe & Stan Fulton vs. Ghosthead, Dee Murphy, DK Murphy, Chad Madison & Zane Myers 2013 - Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman - I Quit Match, Hell On Earth 8 2012 - (tie) Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman - Blood Pond Street Fight & The OOWF 500th 2011 - Firewoman vs. Tytan - November Pain 3 2010 - (tie) Firewoman vs. Alexander Darling - OOWF World Heavyweight Title Iron Person Match, OOWF Bloodbath in Paradise 3 & Chris Evans vs. Bryce Larson - Steel Cage Match, OOWF Judgment Eve 5 2009 - kz vs. The Team From Down Under - MidWeek Mayhem 5/20 2008 - OOWF Jobber Gauntlet 2007 - The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy - Unsanctioned Match 2006 - The Chickenshit Heels vs. The Devil’s Brigade vs. wCw - Bamboo Scaffold Match 2005 - Canadian Dragon vs. UnderDawg - Ultimate Hell
Feud of the Year 2018 - (tie) Matt Folz vs. Firewoman and Ghosthead vs. Shizuru 2017 - Zed vs. Mac Flasher 2016 - Rabbit Mask vs. Chad Madison 2015 - The Awakening vs. Sisters of Sin 2014 - Matt Folz vs. Christian Carter 2013 - Firewoman vs. Ghosthead 2012 - Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman 2011 - Texpress vs. The Flyin Hawaiians 2010 - Alexander Darling vs. The Quinn’s 2009 - Firewoman vs. Tytan 2008 - Moosehead Jack vs. Alexander Darling 2007 - The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy 2006 - The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy 2005 - Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Angle of the Year 2018 - The Saints and Sizzlechest 2017 - (Tie) The Cannon Saga and Zed turns on Mac 2016 - (tie) False Fracturing of The Awakening & Stable Wars 2015 - The Rise of Awakening 2014 - (tie) Fulton embraces his dark side and the Chloe vs. Firewoman feud 2013 - The Redemption of Ecosystem & Stan Fulton 2012 - The Rise and Fall of the New Guard 2011 - CEO Ecosystem 2010 - Firewoman’s Wedding 2009 - The Rise and Fall of Run DEA 2008 - Team Rick Goes to Jail 2007 - (tie) DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship & Drink & Destroy vs. The Heroes Guild 2006 - The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy 2005 - Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Promo of the Year 2018 - The Saints are Good Fellows - Moose 2017 - (tie) Makers - Ecosystem and Matt Folz explains - Matt Folz 2016 - DDT Ironman Heavymetal Title Brawl 2015 - Hope. Is. Dead. - Ecosystem 2014 - Banned From Everywhere Go to Oz 2013 - (tie) a PCPL Night Before Christmas & Stank Blows Up Texpress’ Bus 2012 - Attitude Adjuster Directs Banned From Everywhere & Stank in a Training Montage - Moose 2011 - Booker Meeting - BC 2010 - Where I’m From - Ecosystem 2009 - The OOWF Goes Hollywood - Stank 2008 - A History of The Chickenshit Heels 2007 - Drink & Destroy Genealogy Promo 2006 - OOWF Airplane Ride From Hell 2005 - Donovan Viper’s Promo Before Dance of Death
Finisher of the Year 2018 - Flash Drive - Mac Flasher 2017 - The Trinitarian - Mai Muyo 2016 - La Bella Lock 2015 - Airwalk - Tommy Wilder 2014 - Dropline - Stan Fulton 2013 - Phantasmagoria - Ghosthead 2012 - Double Elimination - Power & Glory 2011 - (tie)Really Good Diamond Cutter - Davin Moreland, Dark Darling Rising - Alexander Darling, Stank-U - Stank 2010 - Really Good Diamond Cutter - Davin Moreland 2009 - Crucifix Bomb - Poe 2008 - Really Good Diamond Cutter - Davin Moreland 2007 - (tie)A Really Good Diamond Cutter - Davin Moreland & Intentional Disqualification - The Chickenshit Heels 2006 - Call of the Wild - The Team From Down Under 2005 - The Chomp - GatorBait
Catchphrase of the Year 2018 - Everyone is a Winner, Except....... - Jack Bullet 2017 - ...But I'm Strongly Implying It - Ecosystem 2016 - Make the OOWF Zed again - BRICK~! 2015 - Hope. Is. Dead. - Ecosystem 2014 - Enjoy the Pain - Stan Fulton 2013 - It’s MAI Time - Mai Muyo 2012 - I Can’t Believe I Work in This Shithole - Stan Fulton 2011 - Boom! - Danny Taylor 2010 - I’m Junichiro Muyo, and I WILL Save You - Ecosystem 2009 - Work Smarter, Not Harder - Ecosystem 2008 - HA! - Eric O’Mac 2007 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny - FF Capslock 2006 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny - FF Capslock 2005 - Trust Me - Moosehead Jack
Gimmick of the Year 2018 - Attitude Adjuster; Promo Man Extraordinaire 2017 - Shizzlechest Loves Edra 2016 - Bing Bong's Four Things 2015 - Rabbit Mask works Tytan 2014 - Stank takes things 2013 - Eco Sees the Joker 2012 - Banned From Everywhere 2011 - No Gimmick Needed - Stan Fulton 2010 - Eco the Savior 2009 - Tytan: DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion 2008 - Rabbxt Becomes Bunny 2007 - “Cowboy” Johnny Adrenaline 2006 - The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000 2005 - Donovan Viper
NPC (Non-Player Character) of the Year 2018 - Josie 2017 - BRICK~! 2016 - BRICK~! 2015 - Jaime McAllister-Folz 2014 - Jaime McAllister-Folz 2013 - Ellie May From Elijay 2012 - Voice Over Guy 2011 - Justin Sane 2010 - Selena 2009 - Selena 2008 - (tie) Carl From Fresno & Alexis Darling 2007 - No Award Given 2006 - Missy 2005 - Ric Flair
Pay Per View of the Year 2014 - End of Days 8
Legacy Awards Wrestler of the Decade - LD Williams Tag Team of the Decade - Texpress Face of the Decade - Danny Taylor Heel of the Decade - Moosehead Jack
<cut to a darkened room, we hear a match strike, and see a cigar lit. A moment later a single lightbulb lights the room and we see someone sitting in a chair, back turned, smoking a cigar. The chair slowly spins around and we see.......
....Quick exhales a cloud of smoke, flicks some ashes into an ash tray, then sits back in the chair and chuckles>
PQ: Not who you were expecting, was it? <Quick takes another drag from his cigar and blows another cloud of smoke> You know, all week long all I have heard is "how will you survive, Pete?" "Why would you choose a Taipei Death Match? Moosehead Jack has never lost a Taipei Death Match!"
Yes, well, I am not facing Moosehead Jack, now am I?
<Quick takes another drag from a cigar, then reaches into the desk drawer and pulls out a glass and a bottle of Trust Me whiskey and pours a drink and takes a sip>
Not bad, Jackie. <Quick takes another sip and nods> Cheers Jackie!
Whaddya say Jackie? I'm in the mood for some storytelling. Wanna hear a story Jackie? It's a story that happened a long long time ago, it a piece of shit city in Southeast Michigan. Now, we've heard your version of this story, and we've heard your sister's version of this story. The poor, poor Quinn children, sadly lost their youngest brother, dear old Patrick, in an unfortunate play time accident. From there, the family fell apart, fell into poverty, alcoholism and drug abuse. The poor, unfortunate Quinn children were picked on for being poor and had to fight their way out of the gutter to become world famous wrestlers! A TRULY inspirational story!
<Quick takes another long puff from the cigar and takes a drink>
Now, the real story. The Quinn Family was garbage from day one. Drug abuse and alcoholism was rampant long before any accident happened. And the fact was, the Quinn's were not poor trash fighting to defend themselves, no, the Quinn brats were the school bullies. Taking what they wanted, from whomever they wanted. Look at their careers! Look at their behavior! Do you REALLY believe either of those two miscreants have an OUNCE of good in them? And Jackie......that "accident" <taking another drink> That was no accident.
You killed Patrick.
You made Fire lift him.
You leapt and hit the move.
And he died.
And it's your fault.
<Quick takes a drink and let's his words sink in>
I promised the world I would expose you and the fraud you are. Moosehead Jack, Jack Quinn, the name makes no difference, you are a fraud. Nothing more than a school bully who went from stealing lunch money to stabbing people in a wrestling ring.
<Quick sits back and puts his feet up on the desk and takes a few puffs and another sip>
So why did I do it? Why did I choose an Onslaught rules match, and your specialty, a Taipei Death match?
It's very simple Jack. I am going to beat you at your own game. The "new and improved" Jack Quinn fancies himself as something of a wrestler. According to Matt Folz, why, you're the best EVER!
We both know that isn't true. Jack Quinn you are not capable of out wrestling me. Maybe ten years ago, maybe five years ago, but I've had almost six months to watch you since your return, it's simply not there. You can try all you want, you can crow about how many times you won the Onslaught title, but none of that matters TODAY. And TODAY, you are a broken down wrestler past his prime who spent decades destroying his body.
which is why I chose the Taipei match.
You know, if I were facing Moosehead Jack, I might have reconsidered my decision, but Jackie.......no matter how much you try to rationalize your behavior, YOU WERE MOOSE. Were. You're simply no longer Moosehead Jack. The illusion is shattered. Your invincibility has been shattered by realization. The second you decided to control Moosehead Jack, he died. Moose is not something you can just turn off and on, Jackie, you've developed a conscience, something you never had as a child and something you never had while you terrorized the ring. It's over Jackie. I am not facing Moosehead Jack in a Taipei Death Match, no matter how badly you want me to believe otherwise. I am facing Jack Quinn in a Taipei Death Match, and quite honestly
You don't scare me Jackie.
At Hell on Earth, Angie will be in my corner. I want her to be there to see the final nail driven into your coffin. I want her to see the look on everyone's face, when I end the legend of Moosehead Jack. I want her to see Jack Quinn's final humiliation. Your demise is inevitable, Jackie
<Quick laughs and turns off the light and we fade to black, then fade into Jack, Katie and PORK watching the promo in the Dojo. The screen goes black and the three stand in silence. PORK and Katie stare at Jack who just stares at the blank TV with a look of rage on his face. He takes a deep breath and speaks>
J: Katie, I want you as my second for this match.
K: Me? I figured Fire.....
J: No. Quick just made this too personal. Fire would chew through the barbed wire to get to Quick.
K: And you think I won't?
J: I am asking you not to. I am hoping you will listen. I know Fire won't.
K: Yes Sensei.
J: PORK, I need you in gorilla. Whatever weapon your comfortable with. If Nigel or Liam step one inch onto the ramp, you take them out.
P: Yes Sensei.
<Jack nods, then turns and leaves the room. Katie and PORK look at one another and we fade to black>
OOWF Saturday Slam – Sept. 9, 2023 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• Jack Quinn chooses the stipulations for his match against Pete Quick at Hell on Earth Symphony of Destruction plays and Jack Quinn comes out to the top of the ramp wearing a long white trench coat, flanked by the rest of Shokan Dojo, Katie Bardoor and PORK. The trio make their way to the ring and the crowd pops big for them. Katie and PORK take their places in the corners, one watching the crowd, one watching the ramp. Jack stands in the middle of the ring looking around, most of the crowd cheers for him, there are still a few boos and a few JUSTICE FOR JUSTIN & ELLIE MAY signs, but the majority cheer>
Jack: I still cannot get used to that. <crowd cheers more> But that's not why we're here, is it? No, it seems like just recently, Shokan Dojo, along with those masters of pugilistic preparedness and terrifying tap out tents, the WOODSMEN *cheap pop* won a match which allows me, Jack Quinn to decide on the stipulation on the match I FINALLY get to have against Pete Quick at Hell on Earth. *another pop*
So, Quick, I thought about it and thought about it, and I decided ... well, one match was just not enough. And then I thought ... well, I am going to have to keep that coward from running away ... AGAIN ... so it better be in a cage. And then I thought, well ... I am going to want to take my time with this, savor every moment, so we can't have a time limit on this affair now can we?
So here's what I decided.......
*Jack walks around the ring for a moment building suspense*
... Three Stages of Hell Cage Match ... No time limit.
*The crowd erupts*
The first match will be ...
"Kingmaker" plays and Pete Quick comes out, along with the Royal Guard and Angie Delpetro. Katie and PORK bail and come back with a chairs to even out the numbers game. They step into the ring, and Pete walks right up to Jack and stares him in the eyes.
PQ: I don't think so Jackie.
*he hands the mic to Angie*
AD: As Mr. Quick's legal counsel, I hate to inform you that your reward for winning the match was to pick the stipulation of the match - singular - in the event of a match containing more than one stipulation, in this case, your idea of a Three Stages of Hell match where all three matches will have chosen stipulations, the opposing party has to agree to, and have equal representation in the choices of, said stipulations in said match.
PQ: In other words, if you want your match I get to pick the stipulations
JQ: You? I don't think so Quick. And, really, there's an easy way to fix this, isn't there? Let's have the returning GM the Firewoman come out and see what she thinks
"Flame On" plays and Fire comes out to the top of the ramp to a standing ovation and a thunderous "WELCOME BACK" chant. She does her best to suppress a smile, then puts on her "all business" face and heads to the ring.
PQ: *in a grating annoying fake Irish accent* Oh boyos, will ya look! It it ain't Clan Quinn here to give me a fair shot! *serious voice* This is a joke, and you both know it. *turning to the crowd* Do you see this? Do you see what the Quinn's are trying to do AGAIN? They are the most pathe ...
JQ: Ok Quick, you pick first.
JQ: Is that good with you, GM the Firewoman?
JQ: There. If it shuts you up and stops another one of your idiotic rants, you pick first.
*a big grin spreads across his face and he starts to laugh*
PQ: Jackie boy, I can play you like a fiddle. I knew all I had to do was annoy you just a little, and you would cave. You're so desperate to get to me, I've made you jump through hoops for MONTHS. I've watched as weak after weak each beating got worse and worse and worse. Look at you Jackie, you're done. You have more bandages than a drug store, you get around worse than Terry Funk ... even now *massive boos*. Jackie, I've already won. And now......I am going to end you by beating you at your own game. See ... I don't care what the second match is, we know this is going three, by whatever means necessary, you will steal the second match, be it crooked referee, some sort of cheating, or *looking at Fire* her Highnesses Royal decree, we all know this is going three. So do what you want with match two. I am going to end you at your own game.
Match one, I am going to prove I am a better wrestler than you. Onslaught rules. I will out wrestle you, and I will pin you clean, right in the middle of that ring.
Match three ... Taipei Death Match
Russ: Good GAWD! Razz: What the hell is Quick thinking? Jack has never lost a Taipei Death match, has he?
*the crowd buzzes for this*
See Jackie ... by then, I will know for sure that Jack Quinn is a fraud. When I beat you in an onslaught rules match, there goes the myth that Jack Quinn can make it as a wrestler. Everyone will see you exposed for the fraud you truly are. And then, for the final match, you'll have no choice. I'll get Moosehead Jack. Jack Quinn cannot win a Taipei Death Match, only Moosehead Jack can, and when I destroy him, when I destroy you, I destroy the myth of Moosehead Jack.
*Quick's snarl quickly turns to a satisfied smirk as Jack stares him in the eyes*
JQ: Ok Quick. Second match is a strap match. Not one of those stupid "touch all four corners" matches, but rather just you and I tied together with a nice, thick strap of leather.
PQ: Do you think I am afraid of you, Jackie?
JQ: *looking at him hard* No Quick, I don't. And it's not because I think you're fearless, not by any means. You've shown you're a coward already. I don't think you're afraid of me, because you're too dumb to see what you've done.
PQ: Oh really? And just what is that?
JQ: Back when this started, when I disappeared for a few days.....
PQ: When you cowardly ran away after trying to kill Justin and Ellie May
JQ: While I was gone, I came to a realization, a realization that was confirmed by my sister when she woke up
PQ: Ohh, more Irish shit!
*Jack slaps the mic out of Quick's hand and backs him into the corner. PORK and Katie step between them, the Royal Guard and Angie*
JQ: Listen to me Quick, and listen good. What I realized is that I CREATED Moosehead Jack. I CONTROL Moosehead Jack. I DECIDE when it's time for Jack to come out. I am not Moosehead Jack, but Moosehead Jack is part of who I am. For all those years Moose controlled ME and it was absolute chaos and carnage, unfocused rage and destruction, attack on any slight, real or imagined, and that anger THAT RAGE made me the most feared man in professional wrestling history!
*Jack pauses for a moment, his eyes burning with rage. Quick doesn't look scared, but rather deeply concerned*
Now, I want you to think Quick, think real hard about what a focused Moosehead Jack could do. A Moosehead Jack that is there for one reason and one reason only ... to destroy you by any means necessary. When you close your eyes Quick, I'll be there. I'll be around every corner, in every dark space, every bump in the night will be Moosehead Jack. And there's not a thing in the world you can do to stop me. I want you to think about that Quick.
*Jack steps back a few steps, but never takes his eyes off of Quick*
I am Jack Quinn I am the creator *points to Shokan Dojo* I am the destroyer I am redemption *Jack reaches into his coat and pulls out a brand new Happy Deth Bat* I am your destruction
*Jack takes a swing at Quick, but he manages to bail just in time and HDB tears the turnbuckle pad where Quick's head had been just moments before. Katie and PORK move on the Guard and Angie, and they bail out and make a hasty retreat. Jack stands with PORK and Katie, gives a hug to Fire, who was safely on the outside of the ring, and Shokan Dojo leaves as we fade to black*
• Jeff Mangyuniku and Rory Thomas vs. The One-Notes Cold open as Russ and Razz welcome viewers to this episode as Jeff and Harper start for their respective teams. Jeff outclasses Harper in a mat-wrestling sequence before Carrie tags herself in to try her hand at Jeff, only to get overpowered in short order. Jeff and Rory work fast tags to isolate Carrie, with Rory ending the double-team flurry with a monkey flip that sends Carrie two-thirds of the way across the ring. Carrie tags in Harper, who drills Rory with a lariat and immediately hits the chin lock while jawing with ringside fans. With Rory trying to shake the cobwebs out, Harper releases the chin lock and starts clubbing him down with elbows and forearms before a belly-to-belly suplex gets 2. Jeff pounds the the top turnbuckle in his corner to get the crowd behind Rory, who tries crawling under Harper’s legs before she just sits on his back and pulls him into a half-crab submission. Rory is able to pull himself within an arm’s reach of his corner before Harper stands up and rags Rory back to the middle of the ring and then closer to the One-Notes’ corner where Carrie offers assistance by grabbing Harper’s free arm as official Mel Creech is checking on a submission from Rory. Jeff’s loud protests go unheard by Creech, prompting the youngster to charge across the ring and clothesline Harper from behind, causing her to break the hold and barrel into Carrie.
With Creech sending Jeff back to his corner, a woozy Carrie hands some kind of object to Harper, who places it on her right hand. With Rory getting to a vertical base, Harper slugs Rory, flattening him with the right cross. Harper then grabs the knocked-out Rory by his legs and starts a modified giant swing, swinging Rory back and forth. Creech sees an unresponsive Rory and calls for the bell as Jeff is just a second too late.
Razz: “Harper calls that the Metronome, and it got The One-Notes a big win, I think their first win!”
Your winners (referee stoppage, 5:40), The One-Notes!
Afterward, Harper drops Rory in a heap, almost shocked that her team just won while Carrie jumps in her arms. Jeff checks on a now-seated and disoriented Rory, patting him on the back before leaving the ring with a very disappointed expression. The One-Notes serenade Jeff with “The Porpoise Song,” for some reason, albeit very poorly as most fans start covering their ears.
• Sandra Fallon vs. Nuke, with Annie Horvath “Hate Breeders” bellows through the arena, with Nuke and Annie walking out together, but seemingly on different pages. Annie glad-hands a young fan holding a sign in support of her while Nuke vehemently disapproves, taking the sign and ripping it up in front of the fan. Annie demands an explanation from Nuke while simultaneously apologizing to the distraught young girl as “Surf Wax America” plays out Sandra, who hugs the crying fan on her way to the ring. Sandra gets to the ring and takes off her shell necklace, turning around to hang it on the ring post, nearly getting blindsided by Nuke before sidestepping the attack. Sandra then hits a trio of right hands, with an uppercut sending Nuke to the canvas as Davis Hightower restores order and then calls for the bell. Nuke tries to stomp at Sandra’s feet, but she’s able to avoid the attack before hopping up and delivering a leaping forearm smash across Nuke’s jaw. Nuke rolls out of the ring with Annie checking on him, though Nuke doesn’t appear to want much to do with Annie’s concern.
Russ: “It appears that the foundation between these two lovebirds is showing some serious fractures.” Razz: “I blame Mac. If Mac would ever make a decision, then …” Russ: “I’m talking about Nuke and Annie.” Razz: “Oh. Well, Annie is clearly the one at fault for all that is wrong between these two. She’s trying to make Nuke something he’s not.” Russ: “Look partner, by dressing like he’s Johnny Rotten, that little rich boy is already something he’s not.”
Nuke rolls back inside and jabs Sandra in the throat, getting the upper-hand. Nuke follows with a trio of running knee lifts and a body slam that gets 1 as Sandra pops up, only to get a knee to the stomach and an elbow to the chin. Nuke then hits a chinlock, freely using the ropes and Sandra’s hair to add leverage and keep her in his grip, despite Annie’s verbal protests to not fight as dirty. Nuke shouts toward Annie, who then points out to Hightower that Nuke’s boots are on the ropes. Hightower calls for Nuke to break the hold, which he does at 4 before turning toward Annie, now on the apron, with an incensed expression. Nuke reaches into his pocket to pull out his trusty chain, which Annie tries to grab from him. Nuke eventually wins the tug-of-war, but yanks himself back into a kick to the gut by Sandra, who manages to lift the heavier Nuke and spin him in a Maliblu Thunder Bomb that gets 3 from Hightower.
Your winner (pinfall, 7:49), Sandra Fallon!
Afterward, Nuke with the chain around his fist, drills Sandra, dropping her where she stood. Nuke then wraps the chain around his forehead, looking to deliver a standing head butt to a staggered Sandra when Annie steps in front, pleading with Nuke to stop with the shortcuts. Nuke grabs Annie by her blue hair and throws her over the top rope, drawing immediate and nuclear heat just as Mac Flasher rushes to the ring. Mac begins attacking Nuke with three right hand punches and a left-handed uppercut as Sandra, still a bit woozy, checks on Annie, who is crying more from hurt feelings than physical pain. Mac chases Nuke off then calls for a microphone.
Mac: “Nuke. It’s quite simple. I’m getting tired of you. I’m getting tired of dealing with you. I am tired of your fucking face. I want you gone from this company as long as OOWF will allow it. Hell on Earth. You and I. Loser leaves OOWF for four shows. For once, show that you have a backbone and face me one on one on September 23, without any of these bullshit weapons of yours, or live by the things that will give you an extended vacation starting in two weeks.”
Mac spikes the microphone and joins Sandra in helping Annie to her feet, though the young punk-rocker is unsure of the sudden assistance from very recent enemies. Sandra assures Annie that there is nothing to worry about all while Nuke looks on from atop the entrance ramp with a scowl as he is joined by his father, Adam Jennings.
• Bridget O’Malley vs. Ona Jones With Ona already in the ring, “Crown on the Ground” plays out Bridget, who hardly acknowledges the crowd reaction as she rolls into the ring and immediately downs Ona with a spinning backfist before official Ben Coleman shrugs and calls for the bell. Bridget gets a mount on Ona and peppers her with punches and forearms with Ona barely able to shield herself, taking a particularly brutal shot on the chin, splitting it open.
Russ: “Razz, I think we’re seeing some frustrations from Bridget’s out-of-ring life getting worked out on poor Ona.” Razz: “Ona is a tough cookie, but when Bridget gets THIS kind of fire in her eye, it’s hard to stop her from doing what she wants in that squared circle.”
Ona finally rakes Bridget’s eyes to get herself a moment to escape and catch her breath. It’s about the only separation she gains as Bridget grabs her by the hair before snapping off Bridget to Nowhere that gets 2 as Ona barely wiggles out of the bridging pin attempt. As Ona backs off, Bridget simply rolls herself into Ona’s knee, buckling it and causing the rookie to wail in pain. Coleman admonishes Bridget for the cut block with Bridget paying no mind to the official as she grabs Ona’s leg and places it over her neck before lifting Ona into a stretch muffler that gains an instant submission.
Your winner (submission, 3:56), Bridget O’Malley!
Afterward, Coleman tries to get Bridget to release the hold, but she refuses as a popping sound followed by a shriek from Ona can be heard. Bridget drops Ona in a heap and walks away with Ona clutching at her knee in what appears to be excruciating pain as OOWF Medical personnel rush past an expressionless Bridget on their way to the ring to check on the rookie.
Russ: “Bridget O’Malley might have ended a career tonight! She may have crippled this poor rookie.” Razz: “Bridget cracks knees and she don’t care! I like this side of her!”
• Mac Flasher vs. Pete Quick vs. Beverly Cambridge “I Get Wet” plays out Mac, who steps out and coolly walks toward the ring before “Cut the Cord” interrupts to note the arrival of Beverly, who is hobbling a bit but looks ready to go all the same. Mac and Beverly stand in the ring as “Kingmaker” plays, turning the mostly positive crowd reactions into an incredibly negative response for Pete, who doesn’t emerge right away. The song plays for about two minutes before the announce table chimes in.
Russ: “Fans, we’ve been informed that there was an altercation backstage. Our camera crews are on their way to the scene and we’ll show you what there is to be seen as soon as they arrive.”
The feed cuts to the back with Pete face-down on the concrete floor, with blood presumably pooling from his head and torso as Angie Delpetro screams for help. Beside Pete, what appears to be the broken handle of a black baseball bat can be shown, but the barrel is nowhere to be found in the shot. The feed then returns to ringside.
Razz: “That animal! Jack Quinn finally gets Pete Quick in a match that he wants, and he can’t resist attacking him before a match that had nothing to do with Quinn or anyone with Shokan Dojo.” Russ: “Now wait just a minute. We don’t know that it was Jack Quinn. Pete Quick has made a lot of enemies in a short period of time in OOWF.” Razz: “Buddy! There’s a piece of a broken baseball bat next to Pete Quick! That’s the calling card of one wrestler in this company. One who just unveiled a new bat in his arsenal tonight!”
With Mac, Beverly and Misato Misawa having seen the carnage on the OOWFTron, Misawa listens to a message in his earpiece before pointing at the two combatants in the ring and signaling that this is a singles match with two competitors before waving to the timekeeper’s table. The bell rings as Mac and Beverly bump fists before Mac goes in for a tie-up that Beverly ducks. Mac tries again from a different angle and Beverly ducks. Mac nods and smiles as Beverly does the same. Mac teases a test of strength, but Beverly declines with a wry smile.
Russ: “You’re watching two veterans, two friends, who know each other very well. The first mistake between these two might be the difference in who goes to pay window for the bigger paycheck.” Razz: “These two do-gooders probably wouldn’t even take advantage of a mistake, in the name of sportsmanship or some other garbage.”
Beverly hits the ropes with Mac getting low and sending her into a back bodydrop, which Beverly tries to counter by landing on her feet, but she immediately falls in a heap and clutches at her ankle.
Russ: “Oh no. That’s the same ankle that she dinged up against Alexander Darling two weeks ago.” Razz: “Well, here’s Mac’s chance to show that he’s not a sucker! Take advantage!”
Beverly rips her boot off to reveal and grab the heavily taped ankle as Mac gets into a catcher’s squat to check on her. With Beverly in obvious pain, Mac takes her hand to offer a bit of support only to get snared into a small package that gets a quick, but fair, 3, from Misawa.
Your winner (pinfall, 4:36), Beverly Cambridge!
Afterward, Mac can only smile as Beverly smiles and shrugs before getting to her feet with a slight limp. Mac hands Beverly her boot while raising her hand just as Nuke rushes in and waylays Mac from behind with a chain-loaded fist. Nuke rains punches on a downed Mac as Adam Jennings occupies Beverly by trapping her in a corner. Nuke has Mac almost motionless after roughly a dozen chain-aided punches before pulling a microphone from his pocket.
Nuke: “I will gladly end you at Hell on Earth. If you’re lucky, four shows will be all you miss.”
Nuke throws the microphone at Mac’s face with Beverly finally breaking free enough to send Nuke away while Sandra rushes down to check on and protect Mac from further attacks.
• OOWF Intercontinental Championship match: Awesome Bill from Dawsonville (c) vs. Angie Delpetro Angie, presumably still with the injured Pete Quick, never shows up, giving Awesome Bill a forfeit victory.
Your winner (count out, :10), and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville!
Afterward, Awesome Bill walks toward the back with his championship, looking around for some kind of ensuing chicaneries, but has a totally uneventful exit from the ringside area.
• OOWF Tag Team Championship: The Woodsmen (c) vs. Zed and Sean Franklin "Good in Red" by The Midnight brings out the challengers, Zed and Sean Franklin, accompanied by the "esteemed" Rev. BRICK~!. After they get to the ring, "What Does The Fox Say" begins to play as the OOWF Tag Team Champions, The Woodsmen, make their way to the ring. As they are introduced by Mike Elevenbee in the ring, they offer their kazoo fanfare, and Zed rolls his eyes and tests the ropes awaiting one of the Woodsmen to face him in the ring.
Zed comes out of the gates firing, dropping Dakota with a sling blade before hitting the ropes and drop kicking Dakota for good measure. He takes the early measure of Dakota, but Dakota slows down Zed with a snapmare and tags in Hunter.
Hunter lays into Zed with some knife-edge chops, but backs Zed into the challengers’ corner, which earns a hearty and very audible “Fuck this!” from Zed (and an admonishment from Rev. BRICK~!) before tagging in Sean. Hunter takes a step back, which is all Sean needs to latch in Hunter for a pumphandle slam. Sean then shows off his strength with a deadlift bridging German suplex, but Hunter kicks out at two.
Hunter rolls away and tags in Dakota, who starts to climb in the ring, then stops in his tracks, pulls out his kazoo, and gives a fanfare while pointing at the entrance ramp and standing at attention. Confused, Sean looks to see who could have prompted this reaction from Dakota, but it was all a trick. Sean turns back around and takes an elbow to the face before Dakota connects on a Tilt-A-Whirl DDT.
Dakota and Hunter share a smile as Sean tags in Zed. Zed is hardly taking the ruse to his teammate smiling, and charges in with a running knee. However, Zed is a little slow getting up as he takes a closer inspection of the knee he used for the attack.
Sensing an opportunity, Dakota stomps on Zed’s knee. Then, Dakota calls out to Hunter, who passes the newly unveiled Pain Cabin to him. Dakota drags Zed into the cabin after assembling it.
Russ: By God, who knows what kind of pain Zed is enduring inside those four hastily assembled walls. Razz: They call it the Pain Cabin for a reason, Russ! Russ: An astute observation from you, Columbo. Razz: You got me good, Russ. I bet that joke killed with our 75+ demographic. Russ: Man, Zed’s been in there a long time. I’m starting to get concerned.
On cue, Zed comes tumbling out of the cabin, shouting in agony. He crawls to the corner, reaching out to frantically tag Sean before tumbling recklessly out of the ring, holding his right knee.
Favoring his knee, Zed pulls himself up to his feet and sizes up Hunter. Hunter rises … right into Moment of Zed! But how much did Zed hurt his own knee in the process? He writhes in pain but forces himself to stand up. Zed ambles to the corner, shaking his head before climbing to the top rope. He precariously checks his balance, looks behind him one time for good measure to see Hunter still prone on the mat … THE ANSWER!
Zed doesn’t stick the landing cleanly, but he quickly crawls over to Hunter for the cover. One, two … and the bell rings?!?
Zed gives a confused look at Junior Hale, who quickly walks over to the ropes to confer with the timekeepers. Sean and BRICK~! both rush to ringside to eavesdrop on the conversation and offer their insight, all while Zed remains covering Hunter.
Mike Elevenbee: This match has reached its 20-minute time limit and has been declared a draw! As a result, STILL your OOWF Tag Team Champions, the Woodsmen!
Sean immediately climbs into the ring, demanding Junior Hale restart the match and asking for five more minutes. Zed simply has his head in his hands, unable to process this turn of events. Hunter and Dakota are having their own meeting of the minds, and don’t seem to have an issue with continuing the match, but Junior insists there will be no such continuation, waving off any potential restart and leaving the ring.
• War Pigs vs. Mr. Nigel and Mr. Liam The Royal Guard is out first along with Angie Delpetro. War Pigs plays and PORK and Katie storm the ring as the crowd goes NUTS! The brawl is immediately on.
PORK and Nigel square off in one corner while Katie and Liam fight opposite. Katie and PORK try a double whip, but the Royal Guard reverses it, in an instant, Katie slides between a charging PORK's legs and PORK goes on to CRUSH Liam in one corner, while Katie springs to her feet and nearly takes Nigel's head off with a European Uppercut.
Nigel falls out of the ring and PORK follows him to the outside, while inside, Liam rakes Katie's eyes, sending her staggering. Liam steps in and BLASTS Katie with a right cross, then DARES her to hit him back.
Russ: This is not a sound strategy on Liam's part Razz: It is if he wants to eat soup for a month
Katie DROPS Liam with a punch, then pulls off her shirt (still wearing a sports bra for you perverts> The crowd roars SHIRT OFF! FISTS UP! As Liam gets to his feet, Katie peppers him with shots to the face, then does a little Road Dogg shuffle and drops him with a final punch, then mounts him and rains fists down on his face.
While this is going on, outside the ring, PORK and Nigel are duking it out. PORK gets the upper hand and BLISTERS Nigel with some PORK CHOPS! Nigel catches PORK with a shot to gut, then charges but PORK hits him with a POP UP POWERBOMB through the announce table! PORK moves to get back into the ring when a hooded man grabs him and spins him around and hits him with a shot to the jaw that drops him to one knee.
Russ: WHY THE HELL DO WE ALLOW HOODIES IN THE ARENA?
The hooded man hops the guardrail and grabs PORK and slams him face first into the ringpost, then hammers PORK repeatedly with shots from a gloved hand. The man throws the hood off
Russ: IT'S THAT DAMN QUICK! Razz: What is Pete Quick doing in the OOWF Arena Russ? Russ: HE WORKS HERE! Russ: Oh yeah!
Quick uses the (undoubtedly loaded) glove and applies THE CLAW! PORK writhes in pain as the blood begins to flow from his head. Nigel slowly gets up from the wreckage of the table and slides into the ring and DESTROYS Katie with a clothesline to the back of the head to get her off his partner. With Angie distracting the referee Liam grabs a chair and KILLS Katie as she gets to her feet. The Royal Guard quickly set her up and hit a SPIKE PILEDRIVER on the chair! They cover, Angie hops off the apron and pulls the chair out of the ring, the referee never saw a thing! Liam covers, one...two...three!
Your winner (pinfall, 7:02), The Royal Guard!
After the match, they keep the beatdown going until Jack Quinn runs to the ring with HDB, Nigel, Angie and Liam bail quickly, and try to pull Quick away, Quick hops on the apron, snarling at Jack, Jack takes a swing, but Quick hops down before contact is made. They retreat to the back as medical comes out to check on PORK and Katie.
• OOWF No. 1 Contender match: Lindsay McAllister vs. Alexander Darling “King of the World” plays out Alexander, who slowly walks to the ring and perches himself on the top turnbuckle in the red corner, staring only at the entrance ramp and ignoring a few concession items tossed his way by ringside fans. “Just a Girl” draws out Lindsay, who receives a much more positive response from the crowd as she jogs to the ring, saluting the fans, but getting drilled from behind by Alexander before Davis Hightower pulls Alexander away and reads him the riot act as Lindsay collects herself. Hightower checks on Lindsay, who motions that she’s good to go as Hightower signals for the bell. Lindsay leapfrogs a charging Alexander and then hops over him on the return charge before greeting him with a dropkick on the rebound charge. Alexander rolls out of the ring after taking the boots to the jaw, but is unaware of Lindsay’s springboard plancha that sends both crashing and burning into the front of the announce table. Lindsay is the first to come to, trying to pull Alexander up, but he grabs a strap on Lindsay’s top and whips her head-first into the nearby barricade, knocking out the LED signal for a second. Lindsay stands up and falls forward, clipping Alexander’s knee, in an act of physics-based convenience. Alexander holds his leg while Lindsay staggers to her feet. Alexander is able to get into the ring with Lindsay a second behind as any sort if count is non-existent from Hightower as pointed out emphatically by Alexander, who believed that he would have beaten a 10-count that Lindsay wouldn’t have just now. With Alexander jaw-jacking with Hightower, Lindsay pulls Alexander into a lung-blower, getting 2 before Alexander desperately kicks out, kips up and runs through Lindsay with a shoulder tackle as the feed goes to a commercial for OOWF.tv's newest Q&A series, “Shootin’ with the Stars, Featuring Biff Slamkovich.”
Back from commercial with Alexander in control, tossing Lindsay with ease and aplomb as a grin sweeps across his face. A crucifix bomb gets 2.5. Alexander calls for Dark Darling Rising, but cannot even get the sequence started as Lindsay fights out of the brain buster and rolls Alexander up for 2. Alexander replies with a standing headbutt that floors Lindsay and sends her outside. Alexander follows out as Hightower starts his count. Lindsay greets Alexander with a stiff left hand and then a right hand as the two start a hockey fight, won eventually by Alexander as he gives Lindsay a tour of the ringside steps. Alexander continues overpowering Lindsay, pressing her onto the announce table as the bell suddenly rings.
Ladies and gentlemen, referee Davis Hightower has counted out both participants (8:53).
Afterward, Alexander rushes into the ring to argue with Hightower as Assistant General Manager Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox appears on the OOWFTron.
Shizuru-Mune: “Alex. Lindsay. While tonight’s match did not determine a No. 1 contender for our world champion Lexie Darling to face at Hell on Earth, I have been given the authority by General Manager Firewoman to allow both of you to advance to Sept. 23 to face Lexie in a triple treat match.”
The feed on the OOWFTron goes dark as Alexander and Lindsay both nod in approval.
• OOWF World Championship match: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Kylie Mignolio “Jaded” brings out Kylie, with Josie in tow, as the young manager high-fives her aunt before heading to the back. Kylie runs to the ring and stands atop the turnbuckles, egging on the crowd response while her music fades as “Radioactive” sends out Lexie, who shows her title for all to see atop the ramp. Lexie is greeted by Rocky the Bulldog, the athletics mascot at North Carolina-Asheville. Lexie doesn’t know what to make of the large Muppet on steroids, but eventually fist bumps the mascot as she heads to the ring. Rocky then tries to amp up the crowd as Mike Elevenbee gives the big-match introductions. The bell rings, per the request of Mel Creech, as the two trade headlocks with Lexie bailing after an atomic drop with Rocky giving Lexie a shoulder massage that creeps out the champion as she nearly slaps the giant mascot head. Back in the ring, Lexie catches Kylie in a leapfrog and reverses into a powerslam and then a bow-and-arrow hold, but Kylie escapes and boots Lexie down in the corner. Kylie gets 2 off a leaping knee drop, but Lexie grapples Kylie to the mat and delivers a few fierce forearms. Kylie escapes and gets a Fameasser on Lexie, who rolls to the outside only to eat a baseball slide. Creech’s count on Lexie gets to 6 before the champs gets back in and knees Kylie in the gut and then the face to take control. Lexie grabs a waist lock, but Kylie elbows her way to freedom. Lexie keeps coming, however, starting with an uppercut and following up with running dropkicks in the corner. Lexie props Kylie on the top turnbuckle with a superplex in mind, but Kylie fights her off and misses a 450 splash attempt as Lexie goes straight into a Texas Cloverleaf try that Kylie fights out of. Lexie works a pair of high-knees to down Kylie before hitting a knee-DT and then turning Lexie over into a sharpshooter attempt.
Russ: “That’s one of Kylie’s specialities! How embarrassing would it be to submit to your own hold?” Razz: “You avoid that embarrassment by never allowing yourself to be put in that position!”
Kylie fights her way out and dodges a corner charge by Lexie, answering with an inverted suplex. Kylie spikes Lexie into the mat with a DDT as Rocky hops onto the apron to lead fans in cheers, but not on Kylie’s watch as she stops what she’s doing to confront the mascot, who drops down without incident. Kylie turns around as Lexie charges, crashing their heads together. Lexie falls on her back while Kylie falls on top, getting 2.9 from Creech as Rocky grabs Kylie’s ankle and pulls her from the ring before smashing her with a lariat with Creech signaling for the bell.
Your winner, (disqualification, 13:06) Kylie Mignolio!
As Elevenbee explains that the title does not change hands, Kylie confronts Rocky and shoves him while Lexie drops to the outside to retrieve her championship. As Rocky celebrates with a very not-into-it Lexie, Kylie dropkicks Rocky and strips off his head to reveal Alexander Darling, who starts to pummel Kylie as officials pour down the ramp to separate the developing brouhaha. While Kylie, Lexie and Alexander shout at each other and to anyone within an earshot, Assistant General Manager Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox appears on the OOWFTron again.
Shizuru-Mune: “Kylie. Your opportunity to become world champion was unfairly taken from you by Alexander Darling. While I cannot remove Alexander from the world-title match at Hell on Earth, General Manager Firewoman has declared that on Sept. 23, Kylie Mignolio has been added as a challenger to Lexie Darling’s championship. See you three and Lindsay in Asheville.”
Kylie is elated at the news while Alexander breaks through the yellow shirts to drill Kylie. As officials tend to Kylie, Alexander stops cold as he spots Lexie’s championship on the floor. The feed cuts out as Alexander stares at his reflection in the front plate before Lexie scoops the belt off of the floor.
OOWF Saturday Slam – Aug, 26, 2023 – Aug. 28, 2023 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• Jeff Mangyuniku vs. Rory Thomas Cold open with both men already in the ring and Davis Hightower signaling for the bell. Rory charges, but is met with a stiff superkick from Jeff that gets 2. Rory rolls out while checking his jaw as Jeff teases a dive to the outside. Rory rolls back in and ducks a big boot from Jeff, catching the leg and trying to stand up into a stretch muffler before Jeff fights his way out. Jeff spins into a backfist from Rory that gets 2. Rory heads to the ropes and leaps off with something in mind, but is caught by a just-now-upright Jeff and tossed across the ring via overhead suplex. Rory, ever the persistent one, races toward Jeff again, only to be stopped in his tracks with a crescent kick to the temple. Jeff covers and gets 2. As Jeff attempts to get Rory to a vertical base, Rory pulls Jeff down into a small package that gets 2 before Jeff shifts his hips and gets 3 with Rory escaping at 3.01.
Your winner (pinfall, 3:08), Jeff Mangyuniku!
Afterward, Jeff offers a handshake to Rory, which is accepted, though Rory is visibly less than pleased with the outcome.
• Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon vs. Nuke and Annie Horvath “Hate Breeders” plays with Nuke and Annie emerging from behind the curtain. Nuke trades verbal barbs with ringside fans. “Surf Wax America” plays out Sandra, who waits atop the ramp as “I Get Wet” breaks in, announcing Mac. Mac and Sandra nod and charge the ring with Sandra pairing off with Annie and Mac with Nuke. While Mac and Nuke are fairly even in their brawl, Sandra quickly outclasses Annie with a clothesline finishing a flurry of offense and also sending Annie over the top rope. From there, Sandra and Mac team up to pinball Nuke with right hands with a particularly stiff jab from Mac sending Nuke over the top rope. While Mac and Sandra pose, Nuke exits the ringside area in a huff, leaving a very confused Annie behind. Annie reluctantly reenters the ring with Sandra staying in for her team. Sandra floors Annie with a discus Polish Hammer before tagging in Mac, who signals for a Flash Drive. Mac lifts Annie upward only for Nuke to rush back in and yank Annie down. As Mac turns around, Nuke blasts Mac in the face with the flame from a propane torch as Angelo Barros frantically calls for the bell.
Your winners (disqualification, 4:21), the team of Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon!
Afterward, Annie questions Nuke’s actions while Sandra checks on Mac. Sandra then confronts Nuke, only for an enraged Mac to barrel into Nuke and trigger a wild ringside brawl as Annie and Sandra are doing what they can to pull away their respective partners. Mac drills Nuke with a roundhouse kick and then looks for a pile driver on the announce table before OOWF officials and security finally break up the fight. Mac, who had his eyebrows singed, but otherwise appears unharmed tries to get after Nuke, but can’t get past the human barricade.
• Zed and Sean Franklin vs. The One-Notes The One-Notes are already in the ring as “Enemy” by Imagine Dragons starts to play, and Sean Franklin emerges onto the entrance ramp in his standard red singlet … and then stops. He looks around, waiting for Zed to emerge, but he doesn’t right away. Just as it appears he’s starting to get a little uneasy, floodlights in the arena turn red, and the music flips.
Zed steps out as the music plays, wearing red tights with gold trim. On the side of his left leg is TIO written in white and purple lettering, with ZED on the other leg in similar fashion.
Sean eyes Zed and offers nothing more than a knowing smirk, and Zed shakes his head a bit before giving a fist bump and they make their way to the ring.
Razz: That’s definitely a more vibrant outfit than we’re used to seeing from Zed. Russ: There have been many cold days in the hell of OOWF, but seeing Zed, the lifelong Tar Heel at heart, wearing red might be one of the coldest. Razz: But what better way to establish he’s committed to working with Sean and making this team work? Russ: Or that he’s the biggest sucker here.
Sean starts in the ring, and quickly overpowers Carrie … she could probably hold her own if this were a grappling matchup, but Sean uses his strength to toss Carrie around the ring. After bringing Carrie to the mat with a spinebuster, Sean tags in Zed.
Zed isn’t able to get in the ring fast enough to prevent Carrie crawling over to sneak in a tag to Harper, but he grins, shrugs his shoulders, and runs in to clothesline Harper. Harper scouts it out, however, going low with, for lack of a better description, a chop block on Zed. Seeing an opportunity, Harper, stomps repeatedly on Zed’s leg, but Zed is able to roll out of the ring.
Harper begins to charge towards the ropes to follow Zed, but BRICK~! steps in front of Zed, probably more to Zed’s chagrin than Harper’s. Zed waves BRICK~! off and climbs back into the ring. Harper goes full-steam towards Zed again, but this time it’s Zed who ducks and connects with a Pele kick.
Zed backs Harper into his team’s corner with a series of chops, then tags in Sean. Zed hits the Moment of Zed on his way out of the ring, then Sean steps in and hits his Full Nelson Slam, cover, one, two, THREE.
Your winners (6:12; pinfall), Sean Franklin and Zed.
Zed and Sean share a smile and a hug after the win, with Zed then lifting Sean’s arm in victory before making their way backstage.
• OOWF World Championship qualifier: Alexander Darling vs. Beverly Cambridge The bell rings with Alexander and Beverly fighting over an Irish whip, which Alexander wins. Beverly tries to leap over Alexander, who ducked a second too early, but jams her ankle on the landing, immediately clutching the injured leg. Alexander takes a second to process, but immediately lunges in to take advantage, only to have Ben Coleman step in front before checking on Beverly. Coleman then signals for medical assistance while Alexander tries to continue the match against the wounded Beverly. Coleman then waves off the match with Alexander raising his arms in victory.
Ladies and gentlemen, referee Ben Coleman has determined that Beverly Cambridge is unable to continue, therefore he …
“Just a Girl” interrupts before Mike Elevenbee can finish his statement, bringing out Lindsay McAllister, with a smile on her face. Suddenly the OOWFTron pops on to a feed from inside the Junior Executive’s office with Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox sitting at his desk.
SHIZURU-MUNE: “Due to the unfortunate injury that occurred very early in tonight’s scheduled match, I have been given the authority to set up a match for the next edition of Saturday Slam on September 9 between Alexander Darling and Lindsay McAllister, with the winner moving on to face Lexie Darling for her OOWF World Championship at Hell on Earth on Sept. 23.”
Alexander is apoplectic, protesting loudly that he had already defeated Beverly while Lindsay smiles from the ramp.
• Lexie Darling and Lindsay McAllister vs. The Frenemies All four combatants shake hands before the bell is called for by Mel Creech. At the bell, Lexie and Lindsay hit stereo superkicks and salute the crowd before Bridget and Kylie land superkicks of their own. Lindsay follows with a corner splash on Kylie that gets a flash 2 before Bridget saves. Lindsay and Lexie trade tags and work a chin lock on Kylie before she fights her way out and tags in Bridget, who elbows her way through both Lindsay and Lexie before a running crossbody gets 2 on Lexie. Bridget continues her rampage with clotheslines but gets caught by a rebound lariat from Lexie and a 450 from Lindsay that gets 2.5 before Kylie makes the save. Lexie and Lindsay trap Bridget in the corner and deliver back-to-back corner splashes. Bridget falls forward, but grabs an armbar attempt on Lindsay during her cover try. Lindsay escapes and rolls away while Bridget tags in Kylie, who leaps off the apron to deliver a meteora to Lindsay on the outside. Kylie rolls Lindsay back into the ring, but eats a one-step baseball slide after taking a second too long to egg on the fans in attendance cheering for The Frenemies. Lexie and Lindsay work quick tags, setting Kylie up in tandem attacks, getting a series of 2-counts in the process. A double power bomb is thwarted as Kylie reverse and attempts to lock both into an STF, but both are able to pull away with ease. Kylie, mostly spent, tries to stand herself up in the corner, but gets chopped back down by Lexie. A Northern Lights suplex gets 2 before Lindsay tries an STF of her own.
Kylie attempts to reach the ropes, but cannot extend her arm long enough. Finally she reaches her free hand upward and facewashes Lindsay until she bites down on her fingers, prompting Creech to call for a break. Kylie, in a last-gasp, surges up and hits an exploder on Lindsay before diving to make the page to Bridget, who enters with a series of superkicks and half-moon kicks. Bridget nails both with an O’Mallet and then pulls Lindsay in for a Red Death Elbow, that gets 2.5 after Lexie makes the save. As Bridget looks toward Creech to question his counting speed, Lexie and Lindsay drill Bridget with a double dropkick. Lindsay follows with a moonsault that catches knees. Lexie and Kylie begin battling on the outside with Bridget and Lindsay slowly getting to their feet. The two on the inside grapple with both trying to gain the advantage through a backslide, which the taller Bridget wins and gets a stunning 3.
Your winners (pinfall, 10:48), The Frenemies!
Afterward, Bridget joins the fight on the outside as Lindsay is quick to follow. The four battle their way up the ramp as officials and security stand by before Josie runs out, pleading for cooler heads to prevail.
• War Games-like Match: Pete Quick, Angie Delpetro, Liam, Nigel and Awesome Bill From Dawsonville vs. Jack Quinn, PORK, Katie Bardoor and The Woodsmen ”Kingmaker” plays and Pete Quick leads his team to the ring. He is accompanied by Angie Delpetro, Mr. Nigel, Mr. Liam and a reluctant Awesome Bill From Dawsonville.
Russ: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to War Games/the Match Beyond! The set up for this is a little different, the ring is surrounded by a cage, which is then surrounded by a Hell in a Cell cage. For the War Games portion of the match, the door on the inner cage will remain locked until all ten participants are in the ring. Pinfalls or submissions mean nothing. The match cannot end until everyone is in. Once they are all in, the door will be unlocked, allowing everyone to get to the plunder scattered around and under the ring. Razz: Matches like these make me glad I am retired Russ
”Symphony of Destruction” plays and Shokan Dojo comes out and Jack, Katie and PORK are all wearing their animal themed head gear (and Jack is wearing a Double Cross Ranch t-shirt. The Woodsmen join them and the five make their way to the ring
Russ: like everyone else tonight, you see the OOWF paying tribute to Terry Funk and Bray Wyatt who have both left us far too soon. Razz: The stories I could tell about Terry … Russ: Folks, it looks like Mr. Nigel is going to start things for Team Quick Razz: Nigel is MASSIVE, dude’s gotta be, what, six three? Three hundred pounds, easily?
Nigel steps into the cage and walks right over to Katie and blows a kiss at her. The discussion over who goes in first immediately ends. Katie climbs into the cage, steps between the ropes and pulls her shirt off, and the crowd goes NUTS!
Razz: SHIRT OFF, FISTS UP!
Nigel looks amused as Katie squares up with him and he reaches out and pats her on the top of the head, drawing a huge gasp from the crowd. Katie turns and hits him with a straight left to the nose, immediately breaking Nigel’s nose! Blood pours down his face as he grab his nose, Katie kicks him on the side of the knee, dropping him to his knees, then grabs his head and SLAMS it into her knee, dropping him flat to his back. Katie mounts him and hammers him with straight punches to the face. She gets to her feet and Nigel looks stunned, he gets to one knee and Katie charges across the ring and catches him with a falling clothesline that slams the back of his head against the mat.
Katie pulls Nigel to his feet and sends him into the cage, as he rebounds, Katie tries a clothesline, but Nigel ducks and hits the ropes and KILLS Katie on the rebound with a clothesline from hell! Nigel tries to wipe the blood from his face, and gets angry and as Katie stands up, he charges off the ropes and lands a boot to the side of the head that sends Katie into the ropes, she catches herself on the top rope, turns and looks at Nigel and wipes her cheek, then flips Nigel off. The two of them meet in the middle of the ring and we have a good old fashioned hockey fight!
The timer goes off and Mr. Liam heads into the cage.
Russ: This is not good for Katie Razz: Katie is one of the toughest wrestlers in this company, but even SHE can’t withstand this!
As Liam is coming into the cage, Katie rakes Nigel’s eyes and kicks him in the jewels, then darts over and catches Liam with a right cross to the jaw, Liam staggers and Katie whips him to the ropes and catches him with a powerslam on the rebound. She gets to her feet and avoids a clothesline from Nigel and hits him with an inverted atomic drop, then bounds off the ropes and lays Nigel out with a double axe handle to the face!
Katie turns around and eats a SPEAR from Liam. He puts the boots to Katie while Nigel recovers, then the two of them team up and throw Katie into the cage. Nigel holds Katie’s face against the cage, raking it across the steel repeatedly, he snaps her off the ropes and she staggers right into a SISTER ABIGAIL from Liam!
Liam and Nigel take turns throwing Katie into the cage until her face is a mask of blood. Big mistake. As they pose and play the crowd, Katie wipes the blood from her face and gets a sick grin on her face. Katie walks up behind them and sends Liam to dick kick city and plants him with a DDT. Nigel tries to drop a leg as Katie is down, but she moves out of the way and grabs Nigel, scoops him up and ties him into the tree of woe, Katie gets a running start and drives a knee into Nigel’s gut. She gets up and turns around as Nigel flies through the air and BLASTS her with a shining wizard, sending Katie staggering, falling between the ropes and the cage!
The buzzer goes off and Dakota of the Woodsmen comes into the cage.
Razz: Well, this is going to be interesting Russ: No love lost between Katie and the Woodsmen
Dakota steps through the cage door, and pauses a moment for the kazoo fanfare, then ducks a clothesline from Nigel, and takes him to the mat with a snapmare, then connects with a kick to the back of the head. Liam tries to attack, but Dakota traps him and hits a t-bone suplex that drops Liam on his head. As Nigel gets to his feet, Dakota grabs him and throws him toward the cage, Nigel hits the cage face first and staggers backward, Dakota lifts him onto his shoulders, and Katie climbs the turnbuckle and hits the DOOMSDAY DEVICE!
Razz: Holy crap they worked together! Russ: This is not what I was expecting!
Katie starts to grab Liam when Dakota stops her. He reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a flask, which makes Katie raise an eyebrow, but then Dakota points to the H2O label. He takes a long drink and passes it to Katie, who just stares at him, then takes a long swig.
Russ: There’s no denying hydration is important Razz: Not sure Team Quick has enough heat to worry about cramps just yet
Liam is back on his feet, and he rakes Katie’s eyes, then catches Dakota with a low blow, sends him into the cage, and catches him on the rebound with a spinning lariat, then lifts him and hits a PILEDRIVER! Dakota hits HARD and lies motionless on the mat. Katie gets her vision back and takes a step toward the downed Dakota, when she is blindsided by Nigel with a clubbing shot to the back of the neck. Nigel grabs Katie and hits a POWERBOMB!
The buzzer goes off and Angie Delpetro makes her way into the ring
Russ: Now is when it gets bad. Dakota and Katie are BOTH down, and Quick has the man advantage! Razz: This could get ugly in a hurry
Angie tells Liam and Nigel to life Dakota to his feet and she BLASTS him with a superkick to the jaw. They do the same to Katie, then they stand over them gloating. Angie hits a few disrespectful slaps to the back of Katie’s head while Nigel and Liam work Dakota over in the corner. Katie tries to get to her feet, but every time she does, Angie kicks her sending her back to the mat. Delpetro chokes Katie on the bottom rope and peppers her with crossfaces that seem to draw more blood.
On the other side of the ring, Nigel and Liam whip Dakota into the opposite corner, he hits chest first and staggers backward and Nigel lifts him and hits a BURNING HAMMER!
Russ: GOOD GAWD DAKOTA MIGHT BE DEAD!
Angie pulls Katie to her feet and shoves her into the corner. She slowly walks to the opposite corner and taunts Katie before charging with a HELLUVA KICK! But Katie avoids the kick and reverses it into a urinage slamming Angie to the mat! Liam and Nigel immediately storm over and put the boots to Katie. They set her up for a tandem powerbomb when the buzzer goes off, and to great kazoo fanfare, HUNTER climbs into the ring!
Hunter chop blocks Nigel’s knee sending him to the mat. He then peppers Liam with forearms to the side of the head, he sends Liam to the ropes and Dakota appears out of nowhere and they hit the ROUGH RIDER! (FTR’s Big Rig) They pop o their feet as Nigel charges and they hit him with a double flapjack! With both Liam and Nigel down, the Woodsmen each grab a leg and begin to ROW THE BOAT! (look it up, great old double team move) Angie struggles to her feet and turns around to come face to face with Katie.
Russ: I believe Mrs. Delpetro is about to have an out of body experience Razz: As in, Katie might just tear her spine out of her body
Katie hammers Angie with punches to the face, then sends her into all four sides of the cage. As Angie bounces off the last one, she staggers toward Katie, blood streaming down her face, takes a swing, then does the Flair flop face first to the mat and the crowd pops huge. The Woodsmen pull Nigel and Liam to their feet and hit matching atomic drops that almost send them into one another, but they stop and are about to hug it out when Katie grabs them, DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Liam and Nigel are down, outside the ring Quick is BESIDE himself with rage. He is shouting directions to Bill, and shoves him toward the door when the buzzer goes off.
Bill climbs into the ring, almost reluctantly, and sizes up his odds.
Razz: Can’t say I blame him, it’s three on one at the moment!
The Woodsmen stop and decide that they should play rock, paper scissor to decide who should face Bill. Katie looks at them like she would like to murder them. They do and Hunter wins. The Woodsmen shake hands and Hunter goes to lock up with Bill, but Nigel and Liam are somehow back on their feet and they attack Katie and Dakota from behind. Dakota tries to save his partners, but Bill grabs him from behind and takes him to the mat and works and arm bar, keeping Hunter on the mat.
Katie is holding her own against Nigel, but Angie hits her from behind. Katie gets a spurt of energy and fights back, lifting Angie for a suplex, then dropping her on the top rope. She turns around and Nigel tries a spear, but Nigel sidesteps it and spears Angie into the cage! Across the ring, Dakota has Liam in the corner and he hits the ten forearms of doom, but on the last one, Liam lifts him and powerbombs him to the mat. Liam climbs the ropes and motions for an elbow drop, he leaps, but Dakota moves and Liam crashes and burns! Dakota locks on the Indigenous Person Death Lock. Katie and Dakota struggle to their feet and we see Bill is still working the arm bar, Hunter is selling it like he is about to die and is about to tap out when Dakota drops to his knees and stops his hand from hitting the mat!
Russ: I mean … he can’t submit yet Razz: It’s symbolic, Russ
Spurred on by his partner, while Katie keeps Nigel, Angie and Liam on the mat with kicks to the face, Hunter HUNTERS UP TO HIS FEET! He stands and points at Bill, who looks confused, YOU!!!
The buzzer goes off and PORK comes in! PORK drops Bill with a clothesline, then hits Nigel and Liam in the corners with avalanche clotheslines. Katie grabs Angie and sends her into the corner and PORK charges in and crushes her with a CANNONBALL! PORK is on FIRE! He grabs Bill and throws him into the corner and lights him up with PORK CHOPS! The match breaks down and we have absolute chaos in the ring. Katie and PORK fight with Nigel and Liam on the other side of the ring, the Woodsmen square off with Angie and Bill. Angie grabs Hunter and tells Bill to throw him into the cage, Bill grabs him, but then takes him over with a side headlock and keeps him on the mat, really wrenching on the hold.
Razz: Who the hell does he think he is? Strangler Lewis? Russ: I am not sure Bill could spell Strangler Lewis if you spotted him all the letters and told him what order they went in.
Angie looks a bit annoyed at Bill, which allows Dakota to scoop her up and slam her on the mat. Dakota heads to the top rope, but gets cut off by Angie, who DROPS him on the top turnbuckle with a BRAINBUSTER! While trapped in the devastating headlock of doom, Hunter sees his partner nearly die and once again Hunter’s up and takes Bill to the mat with a belly to back suplex! On the other side of the ring, PORK grabs the massive Nigel and hits a buckle bomb, then catches him with a release overhead suplex that sends Nnigel crashing into the mat. Angie swoops in and tries a hurracarana on PORK, but he holds onto her and slings her into the cage! The crowd is ROARING for PORK!
The buzzer goes off and Pete Quick steps through the door.
Razz: Why is he wearing a black glove? Russ: Who does he think he is? Ted DiBiase? Razz: Damn Russ, Strangler Lewis and Ted DiBiase? Really appealing to the young audience our there ain’t ya?
Quick comes in and grabs PORK and nails him with the black gloved fist to the face. PORK drops to one knee, Quick hits him again and he goes down, with blood trickling from a gash on his forehead. Quick uses the glove to quickly dispatch of Katie and the Woodsmen, leaving them all bloodied, or in Katie’s case, bloodier. Angie, Nigel and Liam revel in it, putting the boots to everyone, while Bill stands in the corner looking rather uncertain about the whole thing. Quick is barking orders at him, and Bill heads to the top rope and hits a diving headbutt on PORK. Quick calls for more, getting Liam and Nigel to pull an exhausted Katie to her feet, Bill heads to the top rope again and hits a flying clothesline.
Quick cackles with glee and grabs Katie and pulls her over to where Jack is standing, waiting to get into the match. He chokes her on the bottom rope and screams at Jack “LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE! LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE! Quick hits the ropes and drops a knee across the back of Katie’s head, then spits on Jack, who snarls with rage.
The buzzer goes off, and Jack’s snarl turns into a wicked grin.
Russ: Folks welcome to the Match Beyond! Now pin falls and submissions count. No disqualification, no countout, no rules!
He heads toward the door and Quick dashes across the ring and pulls a chain from his pocket and padlocks the door!
Razz: He locked Jack out! They are going to end the careers of the Woodsmen and War Pigs! Russ: This was exactly the plan all along!
Bill tries to argue with Quick to unlock the door, but he directs Bill to help with the beat down, which he does, reluctantly. Outside the ring, Jack is trying to get the door open, but cannot, so he starts climbing, but every time he starts up the side of the ramp, Quick climbs the opposite side and kicks the chair and sends him to the floor. Jack is quickly losing patience with it. Bill sees what is going on and once again tries to get Quick to open the door. Quick gets in Bill’s face and tells him to do as he says, Bill shoves him to the mat, which pops the hell out of the crowd, while that is going on, Jack is able to climb the cage and gets into the ring and IMMEDIATELY charges at Quick, who runs and hides behind Liam and Nigel.
Jack goes nuts and attacks everyone. PORK finally gets to his feet and walks over to the door, where officials are trying to open the lock, PORK reaches down, looks at it, then gives the chain one hard tug and the chain pops off and the door swings open! PORK walks out and starts throwing trash cans full of plunder into the ring.
The match continues on, but Quick manages to mostly escape the wrath of Jack. The match goes on for another thirty minutes with all ten wrestlers fighting in and out of the ring. Jack gets a few shots in on Quick, but he weasels free every time. The Woodsmen nearly get the win after a BULLY BOMB on Bill, but the IC champ kicked out at two. After nearly an hour of an out of control brawl, all ten wrestlers are exhausted, there are broken tables, chairs and ladders everywhere, kendo sticks, you name it. Quick tears off his TF/BW arm band and uses it to choke Hunter, drawing HUGE boos from the crowd. After Quick blindsides Jack with a shot from his gloved fist, he has Liam and Nigel hold Jack while he tears off Jack’s Funk U shirt (drawing more heat). The camera catches a good shot of Jack’s back, which is still deeply scarred from the last match. Quick pulls off his belt and begins whipping Jack, but PORK and Dakota put a stop to that.
The end finally comes when the Woodsmen reach into one of the cans and they pull something out … it’s the TAPOUT TENT! They quickly construct it and grab Liam and throw him inside. Dakota and Hunter follow him in, Dakota zips the tent and we hear Liam screaming in agony. While Jack and Bill fight in one corner and PORK and Quick fight in another, Angie escapes Jack with a kick to the jewels. She climbs to the top rope and hits a SWANTON BOMB on the TAPOUT TENT The tent collapses and Angie, Liam and the Woodsmen remain in the wreckage. Jack staggers around the ring and reaches into a can and pulls out …
Russ: Is that … Razz: IT’S HAPPY DETH BAT!
Jack points it at Quick, and Quick runs. He leaves the cage and starts climbing the outer cage to get away. Jack grabs Angie by the leg and pulls her off the wreckage and traps her in the crippler crossface using HDB across Angie’s face to pull her back, Angie IMMEDIATELY taps out!
OOWF Saturday Slam – Aug. 12, 2023 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina • Jeff Mangyuniku vs. Ona Jones Cold open with both combatants already in the ring. Ona tries to jump Jeff as he removes his ring jacket, but Jeff steps away as Ona runs face-first into the turnbuckles. Jeff, now sans jacket, cinches Ona in a cobra clutch before snapping off an overhead suplex. The Doom Cloud gets 2 as Ona desperately kicks out. As Ona staggers upright, Jeff grabs her wrist while asking if the fans want to see Kaze Ni Nare. They respond accordingly. Jeff pulls Ona in for a ripcord lariat that drops her to the ground. Jeff covers. Angelo Barros counts 3.
Your winner (pinfall, 1:39), Jeff Mangyuniku!
Afterward, Jeff asks for a microphone and gets one from ring announcer Mike Elevenbee.
Jeff: “As you know, my brother Shizuru-Mune has recently announced his retirement from in-ring competition, choosing to maintain his path in the OOWF front office. Tonight, in front of all of our great OOWF fans, I am asking my brother to reconsider this decision. After what we did to The Young Bucks, we can become tag champions in a very short amount of time. Sizzlechest, I know that you probably won’t hear this until you review the show later, but you and I can be the best thing that ever happened to this tag division. Please reconsider.”
Jeff hands the microphone to Elevenbee and exits without incident, glad-handing fans on his way to the back.
• Nuke and Annie vs. Beverly Cambridge and Lindsay McAllister Nuke and Annie are already in the ring as “Just a Girl” strums up and results in an eruption, one that Lindsay is still trying to process as she smiles and eggs on the fans while waiting for her tag partner, who is announced by “Cut the Cord” with Beverly receiving the same reaction – one that she’s used to. Beverly and Lindsay meet at the bottom of the ramp before rushing in. Nuke shoves Annie in their path and bails. Beverly and Lindsay don’t attack Annie, instead waiting on Nuke to return so that the match can start proper. Russ: “What was that about? Nuke just shoved Annie in the path of a steamroller.” Razz: “That’s Nuke’s way. He’s going to sacrifice whomever is nearby to preserve himself.” Russ: “That’s his girlfriend!” Razz: “She held her own in there, she’s fine.” Russ: “Only because Beverly and Lindsay pulled back.”
Nuke hops to the apron and instructs Annie to start the match, which she bravely attempts by trying to wrestle Lindsay to the ground, but to no avail as the Australian sets her feet and holds her ground, despite the best efforts of Annie. Lindsay eventually grows bored of Annie’s grappling attempts and hip tosses her toward Nuke, who angrily tags in and gets caught in a drop toehold as he charged in. Lindsay and Beverly work quick tags while keeping Nuke isolated. Nuke rakes Beverly’s eyes, getting admonished by Davis Hightower. Nuke gets in Hightower’s face as Beverly lays into the rookie with a forearm to the jaw. Beverly peppers Nuke with kicks to the legs and chops him down with a particularly stiff kick to the knee. Tag exchanges keep Nuke isolated with Lindsay and Beverly combining to hit a double superplex that gets 2, only because of an Annie save. With Hightower escorting to her team’s corner, Nuke pulls a chain from his pocket and begins wrapping it around his fist as Beverly approaches. Nuke spins around and decks Beverly before shoving Lindsay through the ropes for good measure. Nuke waits for Beverly to stand before rushing in with Give ‘Em the Boot. Beverly ducks as Nuke’s awkward landing on the follow-through causes his knee to buckle. Lindsay, begging for a tag, gets it as she immediately rushes in and locks Nuke in a kneebar.
Russ: “While we don’t normally see this type of attack from Lindsay, this has been one of her focuses since rejoining OOWF.” Razz: “It’s not perfect, but Matt Folz has been working with Lindsay to get that part of her game up to speed.”
Nuke is almost about to tap just as Annie runs in and punts Lindsay in the temple. While causing some discomfort, Annie’s striking power isn’t quite at OOWF quality. Again, Hightower escorts Annie to her corner with Nuke writhing on the mat. Nuke tries to stand, but the damage to the knee makes him unsteady as Lindsay spears the wobbly Nuke. Lindsay tags in Beverly as the pair stand Nuke up before Lindsay sweeps the leg from the back just as Beverly nails him with a high kick to the jaw. Nuke is folded up by Beverly as Hightower counts 3 with Annie just a step too late on the save.
Your winners (pinfall, 6:33), the team of Beverly Cambridge and Lindsay McAllister!
Afterward, Nuke refuses help from Annie, choosing to berate for being too late on the save. Annie pleads her case with Nuke – while hobbling – screaming her down for various frustrations. Beverly and Lindsay step in to offer their support, or at least solidarity, to Annie, who chooses to follow Nuke to the back while he continues dressing her down.
• The Frenemies vs. The Electric Company With Joe and Jamie in the ring and jawing at ringside fans, Babymetal’s “Catch Me if you Can” plays out Josie, who has a bedazzled microphone in hand.
Josie: “Ladies and gentlemen, JosieCorp presents to you the all-time greatest tag team OOWF history. It’s Kylie Mignolio and her partner Bridget O’Malley. THE FRENEMIES!”
Kylie and Bridget emerge from behind the curtain, through both give Josie a look with Kylie asking, “All-time greatest?” as Josie nods in affirmation. The Frenemies head to the ring with Joe and Jamie trying to get the jump on the more-experienced pair. Kylie dropkicks Joe and Jamie is judo tossed and locked in an armbar by Bridget, drawing an immediate tapout, but the match hadn’t started yet. Official Mel Creech pulls Bridget off of Jamie as the teams separate. Creech signals for the bell as Joe rushes Bridget only to eat a forearm strike. Bridget yells before locking Joe in Tap or Nap, pulling him down to the mat. Joe frantically taps with Jamie and Kylie doing all they can to pull Bridget away.
Your winners (submission, :45), The Frenemies!
Afterward, Bridget lets go of the chicken-wing sleeper, but while also glaring at Jamie as Kylie tries to divert Bridget’s focus.
Russ: “I guess you can say Bridget wasn’t here to get paid by the hour.” Razz: “Two weeks ago, it was her mistake that cost her team the win. It was clear she wasn’t going to let that happen tonight.”
• Mac Flasher vs. Alexander Darling “King of the World” heralds the arrival of Alexander, who pays zero mind to the crowd reaction while slowly walking to the ringside area. Alexander climbs the corner and sits atop the top turnbuckle as he waits for “I Get Wet” to interrupt and play out Mac Flasher, which is exactly what happens. Mac jogs to the ring and is cut off by Misato Misawa as he strides toward Alexander. Misawa inspects both wrestlers before calling for the bell. Alexander doffs his hooded sweatshirt and teases throwing it in Mac’s face before flinging it toward the direction of a nearby ringside attendant. Alexander turns around and almost into a right hand by Mac, but he drops to the ground and slides out of the ring with almost no interest in hurrying back in until Misawa’s count gets to 8. Mac mockingly holds the ropes open as Alexander coldcocks Mac from the apron and shoves him down to the floor. Alexander drops back down with a hockey fight beginning, Mac lands a left hand that stuns Alexander long enough for Mac to dramatically roll in and beat Misawa’s count at 5. Alexander, a bit more nonchalant, rolls in at 7; but right into another fistfight that ends when Alexander ducks a wild swing by Mac, leaving the opportunity for the Aristobrat to send a jab to Mac’s unprotected kidney region. Mac falls immediately as Alexander gets to work, stomping away at Mac’s back and neck area.
Alexander begins to assert his will, holding Mac up in a delayed vertical suplex for at least 10 seconds. Alexander then grinds Mac’s face in the canvas while shouting some not-so-nice things. Alexander then grounds things with a chinlock that gets a bit of help on occasion when Alexander props his feet on the nearby ropes. Misawa checks for a submission while fans are pleading with the official to look upward, though Alexander with his eyes on Misawa is staying out of trouble by dropping his feet at the right moments. Alexander, who seems chuffed at his handiwork, starts barking at ringside fans, losing focus long enough for Misawa to catch sight of Alexander’s boots on the ropes and order a break. Alexander protests as Misawa is not backing down, quickly getting the count up to 4 before the break occurs.
Mac gets to his feet and ducks a spinning heel kick from Alexander, watching him crash to the mat before dropping a pair of elbows on Alexander’s back. A third elbow gets canvas as Alexander tries to tie Mac’s legs into a Texas Cloverleaf setup. Mac breaks free before the grapevining occurs, rolling to the outside. Alexander follows and is greeted by a one-step lariat from around the corner. Mac and Alexander give alternating tours of the ring posts with Mac whipping Alexander into the last post and then missing a Stinger Splash, banging his head off the post and busting himself open in the process.
Mac stumbles back as Alexander shove Mac back into the ring and waits on the apron for Mac to turn around. As Mac turns around, Alexander springboards off the apron and into a spine buster out of desperation as both men lay on the mat. Alexander rolls over and drapes an arm over Mac, getting 2.5 as Mac gets a foot on the ropes. Alexander is unfazed as he grabs Mac and hoists him upward and drops his head sharply on his knee. Alexander goes for the cover and gets 2.9. Mac tries to get a bit of space, but is cut off by Alexander, who sets up for a crucifix bomb, but gets backdropped and tied in the ropes. Mac assesses the situation and gets a few shots in before Misawa nudges him away and tries to until Alexander. Mac steps in and is blasted with a right hand from Alexander that partially catches Misawa as he drops in a heap.
Now this is professional wrestling, so things continue to be on the up and up until Nuke and Annie rush down to the ring and start putting the boots to Mac. Alexander confronts Nuke before passively signing off on the beatdown before Sandra Fallon runs down to add one person to Mac’s party, decking Annie and getting right into Nuke’s face before Nuke spits in Sandra’s face. Sandra wipes of her forehead before hammering away with a series of forearms to back Nuke in a corner. Sandra is then cut off by Annie, who lunges in for a bite but is held back by Mac. While all of this is happening, Alexander is handed Nuke’s chain and wraps it around his fist. As Alexander loads up a punch, Misawa grabs the hand, inspects the chain, does the mental math and signals for the bell.
Your winner (disqualification, 12:08), Mac Flasher.
Alexander, incensed, gets in Misawa’s face before Nuke tries to intervene. Alexander shoves Nuke and exits the ring in a huff while Nuke and Annie turn around into a lariat from Mac and a super kick from Sandra, respectively. Mac and Sandra stand tall, with Sandra jumping into a hug that makes Mac uneasy for a sec before he leans into the hug.
• Zed and Sean Franklin vs. War Pigs (Katie Bardoor and PORK) The match begins with PORK and Zed in the ring. PORK charges in for a clothesline, but Zed eludes it and staggers PORK with a well-placed Pele kick, a surprisingly explosive start to the match for Zed. He follows with a series of strikes and kicks to bring PORK to the mat and has thoughts of working PORK’s legs to slow down the fight, but PORK quickly kicks him away.
Zed is controlling the flow of the fight, but struggling with PORK’s size. He tags in Sean, hoping his partner’s All-American physicality can help level the playing field. It doesn’t have the desired effect, and PORK quickly tags in Katie after flattening Sean with a clothesline.
However, Sean is quickly able to regain his footing against Katie and takes complete control of the match. Sean shows off great elusiveness and agility, avoiding much of Katie’s offense and often countering it with a strike, wrestling hold or suplex of his own. Sean goes for a cover, which sends both Zed and PORK scrambling into the ring – then tumbling out of it – as Katie kicks out at two.
The skirmish at ringside quickly settles down when Zed realizes the numbers are against him with Jack at ringside and returns to his corner, but Sean continues to wear down Katie. BRICK~! has thoughts of some kind of “advice” for Sean at ringside, but a menacing glare from Jack across the ring quickly dispels that notion. Sean connects a belly-to-belly suplex and goes for another pinfall, but Katie kicks out at two.
Sean tags Zed back in, and Katie puts some offense together to slow down Zed just enough to get PORK in as well, hoping to continue that mismatch. This time, Zed has a game plan, shooting PORK into the ropes. PORK hangs on to the top rope and plant his feet on the apron, but he does so just in time to see Zed running the ropes and greeting him with a dropkick to send him tumbling to ringside. Zed then hits the ropes again, and goes flying over the top rope onto an unsuspecting PORK.
Zed gets PORK back into the ring and connects with the GTH! Zed covers, one, two, NO! Katie is there to break it up. Sean sends Katie back out of the ring, then scrambles to his corner and awaits an incoming tag from Zed. Zed shoots PORK into the corner, hits PORK with a running boot, then tags in Sean. Sean smells blood in the water, and so does BRICK~! at ringside. Sean pummels PORK, then runs him into the ropes looking for an O’Connor Roll, but Sean loses his footing. In the botched attempt, Sean finds his shoulders against the mat with all of PORK’s weight on top of him! One, two, THREE!?!??!
Your winners (9:22; pinfall), War Pigs!
PORK immediately leaps to his feet as Katie runs into the ring to celebrate. Jack climbs into the ring, and even he can’t help but offer a grin with his pride in their ability to take the win in this match.
Meanwhile, Sean looks first at referee Ben Coleman, then at BRICK~! with a stunned look on his face. Zed has buried his head against the top turnbuckle in their corner. Sean stands up and goes over to Zed to plead his case, but Zed offers the universal nonverbal signal to not discuss the matter with him at the present moment before stepping off the apron. Sean follows Zed to the back, emotionally pleading his case, but it’s clear by the look on Zed’s face he’s in no mood for a conversation at the moment and using all of his restraint to avoid escalating the matter.
• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Awesome Bill From Dawsonville (c) vs. Sandra Fallon “Surf Wax America” plays with Sandra emerging from the back to a heroine’s welcome. Sandra, who is rarely not smiling, beams at the reaction while walking toward the ring. Sandra bounces off the ropes for a bit before “Free Bird” plays out Awesome Bill, who gets a mixed reaction as he walks to the ring. Awesome Bill hands his championship to Gavin “Junior” Hale, who shows the prize to Sandra and then holds it over his head before signaling to the timekeeper’s table to ring the bell.
Before the two can lock up, “Insane in the Brain” plays, causing an eruption among the fans in the OOWF Arena. Awesome Bill, smiling for the first time in months, looks toward the back, but there’s no sign of Justin Sane. Awesome Bill steps out of the ring to get a closer look, but still no Justin.
While Awesome Bill and Hale are looking toward the back, Nuke rolls out from underneath the ring and drills Sandra in the back of her head with a chain-aided haymaker. With Sandra face down on the mat, Nuke admires his handy work until Mac Flasher, bandaged from his match earlier in the evening, barrels past Awesome Bill and Hale toward the ring. Awesome Bill chases Mac down and gets in his face while Nuke makes an exit. Awesome Bill pantomimes that Mac tricked him by playing Justin’s music, which Mac is vehemently denying. Mac tries to check on Sandra, only for Awesome Bill to grab Mac by his hair and shove him down to the mat. Awesome Bill then whips Mac into the corner and follows with a big boot to the jaw. Mac falls in a heap with Awesome Bill looking at Mac and Sandra, both laying on the mat without much movement, as Pete Quick runs down to praise Awesome Bill for his work with Hale waving for medical assistance for Mac and Sandra.
Ladies and gentlemen, referee “Junior” Hale has determined this match to be a no-contest (:00).
Afterward, Awesome Bill shoves off Pete with Liam and Nigel standing on the outside to ensure that Pete is protected. Pete diffuses the situation while pointing to Mac and pantomiming that it was Mac who played the music to trick him.
• OOWF Tag Team Championship: The Woodsmen (c) vs. The One-Notes The One-Notes are in the ring, singing their hearts out in an attempted cover of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean,” as “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” interrupts to the delight of every fan in attendance as Hunter and Dakota, The Woodsmen, strike their familiar pose atop the ramp. Hunter is in no mood to chatter, however, still covering his ears after the pose as the reverberation from The One-Notes’ performance bounces back to the floor area. The Woodsmen climb into the ring, striking the pose again, before Carrie and Harper rush the champions from behind. Carrie pairs off with Hunter as Harper battles Dakota, with The Woodsmen seemingly reeling until a double reversal on stereo Irish whips send Carrie and Harper nearly crashing into each other. Harper goes low as Carrie goes high, only for Dakota to catch and power slam Carrie with Hunter twisting Harper onto her back in a mouse trap pinning combination that gets 3.
Your winners (pinfall, 2:17), The Woodsmen!
Afterward, The Woodsmen celebrate their flash win only to get bullrushed from behind by Liam and Nigel, who try to brutalize The Woodsmen until PORK sprints down with Katie Bardoor a step behind. PORK barrels into Liam and Katie picks off Nigel, sending both running for higher ground in short order. PORK helps Dakota up to his feet while Katie indifferently looks on at Hunter, who offers a handshake. Katie kicks the hand away and storms to the back as PORK follows.
• Jack Quinn vs. an opponent of Pete Quick’s choosing Symphony of Destruction plays and Jack Quinn steps out to the top of the ramp, but he is not his normal self, he takes an extra moment to look around the arena and soak in the building ovation. Finally he heads toward the ring>
Razz: This might be the biggest night of Jack's career. Russ: It may also be the last night of his career, and I for one would like to be the first to wish him good riddance! Razz: Russ, seriously, you cannot believe Quick Russ: I've watched Jack Quinn butcher people for over twenty years, I have seen his work first hand. There is a special place in hell for men like Moosehead Jack Razz: But this is Jack Quinn Russ: Same damn thing
Jack gets into the ring and looks at the four garbage cans packed full of plunder and a look of concern crosses his face as Quick's music plays. The crowd boos the hell out of the song, and boos even harder when Quick, Delpetro, Mr. Liam and Mr. Nigel step out onto the stage.
Quick: You ignorant hillbillies never cease to amaze me with your ignorance <boos intensify as Quick turns his attention to Jack> Hiya Jackie! Now........I'm guessing you're wondering who you will be facing in this one hour gauntlet match. I certainly had an impressive list of names to choose from, you are QUITE unpopular around the WORLD … particularly in Japan, any … unpleasantness you might recall from Japan, eh Jackie Boy?
Jack seethes inside the ring.
Quick: So … Turns out I had a meeting with the … Let’s just call it a consortium of like minded individuals who want to rid the world of Jack Quinn, and we went over the list, and believe me, I could have brought in men that would have tied you in knots and made you cry, but then one of the partners had a better idea. What is the one thing Jack Quinn fears? Humiliation.
See Jackie, I've been paying attention to you since day one. Those early days when you were trying to convince us all you'd changed, I was watching. I saw you when you were at that fancy party in Asheville
They play the clip and we see Quick standing in the background, barely noticeable.
Quick: I was there when the drunk frat boy got on your nerves
Quick: “I was there watching you, you didn't know it, because you had no idea who I was, but you do now. And each time you would reach for that blade, it was because you were about to lose control, they were making things uncomfortable for you. You were out of your element. They all know what you are, who you were, and you were humiliated by that, because all of them know you're a lying coward.
So, knowing that, we decided to go a different route. Gentlemen …”
A group of 10 men walk out, all of them look like they could potentially have just escaped from prison. They slowly make their way to the ring and surround Jack. The fans look confused.
Razz: Who the hell are these guys? Russ: I have no idea!
Quick: Now, you may be asking yourself, who the hell are these guys? These men, my friends, are The Blacklist. That's right, you are looking at the men blacklisted from professional wrestling. These men were deemed too violent for pro wrestling, that means Combat Zone Wrestling said no, that means the old Frontier Martial Arts said no thank you, hell even IWA Mid-South said they were not welcome! Imagine THAT too violent for Ian Rotten!
See Jackie, I could have brought a world class athlete in to put you in your place and end your career, but I thought this would be a whole lot more humiliating. Ring the bell.
Razz: How the hell is this even legal? Russ: These men are not licensed to wrestle, who agreed to this? Razz: I thought you didn't care? Russ: This is too damn far. These men are in there to end a man's career, and if Quick has his way, his life. This is too damn much!
The bell rings and the men jump onto the apron, Jack manages to knock three of them off, and fight off a few as they come into the ring, but the numbers game gets the better of him, and soon enough they have him beaten down on the mat. Jack takes stomps from every one of them, then a few bail to set up tables outside the ring, and slide tables under the ropes to be set up inside the ring.
As one table is set up, one of the men lifts Jack for a powerbomb, but Jack slips free, lifts the man and hits a GTSF then flapjacks him through the table. Someone else grabs Jack by the hair and pulls him to his feet and they trade punches, but Jack gets taken down from behind. Two men hold Jack up and a third one tries a spear, but Jack gets a knee up and catches the man in the face, instantly breaking his nose, sending him out of the ring with blood pouring down his face. Jack slams the two holding him together, but when he turns around, another man BLASTS him right in the face with a chain wrapped fist. Jack goes down, and the pack pounces again.
Russ: Somebody's gotta stop this! This is a ten on one mugging! Razz: How the hell is Jack supposed to survive this? Russ: He's not. Quick is going to make DAMN sure of that!
Jack fights back once again, and this time bails out of the ring to try to catch a breather. PORK and Katie come to the ring and begin fighting, and the referee immediately gives Jack a warning
Russ: YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! Razz: This is getting ridiculous
Jack Quinn has used his first referee warning.
Jack grabs a chair and turns and absolutely OBLITERATES another man. Drops him to the floor and you can tell he has no idea what planet he is on. Jack tosses the chair aside and looks at the referee.
Jack Quinn has used his second referee warning.
Jack tells PORK and Katie to stay back, then gets distracted for a second by a cackling Quick. One of the goons nails Jack from behind with a chair, and another wraps a bullrope around his throat. He slides into the ring and pulls Jack up until his is just off his feet. As Jack claws at the rope, the mob takes turns laying in punches and shots with a kendo stick. Finally Jack is able to slip onto the apron and get free of the rope. He falls between the ropes and hits the mat gasping for air as we see the man who took the chair shot getting helped to the back.
Russ: Oh, well, it's only NINE against one now. That seems fair! Razz: We just hit twenty minutes, I can't believe he's made it this far.
When the referee turns and throws the bullrope out of the ring, Jack hits the man who had been choking him with a low blow, then takes off the bottom turnbuckle, as another guy comes at him with a tire iron, Jack drop toe holds him into the exposed buckle, opening a huge gash on his head. Jack quickly slides out of the ring and grabs a pair of cuffs and cuffs the mans hands around the ring post, then pulls him out to the floor.
Razz: Hey, that's pretty smart! Only eight against one now! Russ: "only"
Jack remains on the outside as the eight men regroup inside the ring. Blood pours off Jack's head and he is breathing hard from nearly being hung. Four remain in the ring while four leave and two head toward Jack in either direction. As two pass the ramp, PORK and Katie begin yelling at them, which distracts them long enough for Jack to fly in and hit one with a Buisaku knee to the face, then avoids a chair shot from the other and hits a spinning heel kick that sends the chair into the man's face, dropping him to the floor as well. Sadly, Jack's luck runs out as the other two get there and throw him into the ring to get yet another beatdown.
Outside the ring, every time the referee isn't looking and the two men try to get to their feet, PORK and Katie "accidentally" trip them, sending them both face first into the steel guardrail. Inside the ring, one man takes a piece of the table and tries to gouge Jack's eye out. Jack howls in pain
Russ: JUST QUIT ALREADY! THAT ANIMAL WILL BLIND YOU! Razz: This is … this is hard to watch
Jack frantically breaks free somewhat, enough to get his foot on the ropes forcing a break, the man stops, but they argue that, THEY don't have to follow the rules, HE does, so they shouldn't have to break. While all that is going on, Jack slides out of the ring again and gets a short breather.
Jack Quinn has used his first rope break
One of the men breaks away from the argument and reaches between the ropes and tries to grab Jack by the hair, but Jack spins and ROCKS him with a European uppercut, then grabs the man, drags him out of the ring and drops him off the apron into a Tiger Driver '99!
Russ: GOOD GAWD THAT MAN IS DEAD! Razz: Holy hell, he might be! Russ: We just hit the forty minute mark, I cannot imagine Jack making it twenty more minutes. Razz: Well, he's down to six on one now
As soon as Jack gets to his feet, one of them comes in and OBLITERATES him with a CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! He throws Jack into the ring and does the arrogant one-foot Jericho cover, the referee gets to two and one of the other men shoves him off of Jack. The two begin to argue, then brawl! Outside the ring Quick is apoplectic with rage. The two men fight to the back before security breaks it up and presumably escorts them out of the building and back to whatever sewer they crawled out of.
It's still four on one though, and Jack is bleeding badly, and the lunatics have just pulled out a barbed wire board. Jack tries to fight, but one holds him and another brings a chair down on his head. Jack goes limp, and the four remaining men each grab a limb, lift Jack into the air and drop him right in the middle of the barbed wire board. Jack howls in agony and tries to escape the barbs, but the men repeatedly kick him keeping him stuck in the barbed wire. Once again Jack is forced to fight to the ropes and the referee intervenes.
Jack Quinn has used his second rope break.
While the four once again argue, and Katie and PORK keep "accidentally" tripping the other two thugs as they try to get to their feet, Jack frees himself from the wire and falls to the floor in pain. The camera pans in and we see Jack's back has been sliced open in several places. Inside the ring, one of Quick's thugs looks at Jack, then looks in one of the cans and laughs. He pulls out a huge jug of lemon juice. He leaves the ring and the crowd starts to boo knowing what is coming. He makes a big show of taking the cap off the jug, then pours the contents all across Jack's back. Jack jumps to his feet and howls in pain, but something changes. Jack gets a crazed look on his face, he reaches into his boot and grabs his scalpel, turns and slashes the man across the chest, leaving an instant slice. As the blood begins to run down the mans chest, he howls in pain and comes after Jack, Jack stops him cold with a legit punch between the eyes, then DROPS him with a DDT right on the concrete floor.
Russ: GOOD GAWD! I HAVEN'T SEEN A DDT THAT SICK SINCE JAKE DID IT TO STEAMBOAT! Razz: I do believe Quick may be down one more thug!
The three remaining men come after Jack, but Jack is able to out run them, he slips and slides in and out of the ring. As Jack is running, the guy handcuffed to the ring post tries to kick him, Jack avoids the kick, then gives the man a free trip to dick kick city, he convulses with pain, but the distraction allows the other two to get to Jack and beat him down on the outside. They lift Jack and powerbomb him through the OOWF Announce Table. They grab Jack and throw him into the ring, one of the men stops and sneers at Razz, giving him a shove. As he turns to walk away, Razz grabs him in the RAZZMISSION! Razz pulls him to the floor and chokes the man out!
Russ: Guess the ref didn't see that, and I damn sure ain't gonna tell him! Two on one!
The two men beat the snot out of Jack, and Jack can barely stand. One tries to whip Jack into a table, but Jack stops short of the table, the guy charges in and tries a spear, but Jack moves and he goes through the table and into the ringpost. Jack can't even get to his feet before the last man is on him, hammering him with punches and kicks. He pulls out a bag of broken glass and dumps it all over the ring, then grabs Jack for a powerbomb, but Jack reverses it into the triangle choke! The man drives Jack down into the glass, Jack howls in pain, but manages to hold on. As Jack squeezes tighter he begins hammering the man in the face with open fist strikes, finally the man passes out, just as the guy who recently went into the ring post gets to his feet.
At the top of the ramp we see the timer says five minutes left. Quick and his crew head down the ramp, and PORK and Katie jump them and they brawl. Quick and Angie break free and head toward the ring. Inside the ring, Jack struggles out of the glass, while the final guy staggers around the ring, likely concussed from the ringpost. He grabs a chair and swings wildly, just barely missing the referee, Jack grabs him and hits a STROKE, driving the man's face right into the glass! He howls in pain and rolls out of the ring to the floor!
Angie slides into the ring and BLASTS Jack with a superkick. The two henchmen that PORK and Katie had been keeping down slip into the ring and they beat on Jack some more. From the outside Katie grabs Delpetro (which is legal since she isn't officially in the match) and she blisters her with a kendo stick, chasing her up the ramp to the back before coming back and joining PORK. Inside the ring, the two henchmen hold Jack while Quick steps into the ring. Quick slaps Jack across the face, then spits in his face. Quick has the men hold Jack while Quick takes off his belt. He wraps it around his fist and blasts Jack in the face with it, then grabs him in a side headlock and gets off repeated shots to Jack's skull. They hold Jack, who falls to his knees. Quick grabs the mic
Q: Give up Jackie. Give up or so help me …
Jack spits a mouth full of blood at Quick, further bloodying his shirt. Quick takes a step back, then kicks Jack right in the face. He goes limp and Quick takes the belt and whips the ever loving shit out of him. Finally, he grabs Jack and lifts him in the air before bringing him straight down, into the pile of glass, with a BRAINBUSTER! Jack doesn't move. Quick rolls him over and makes the arrogant cover, one … two … three
Quick gets up and celebrates, but the referee immediately waves it off, the camera pans over and we see Jack's foot on the bottom rope!
Jack Quinn has used his third and final rope break.
Quick is OUTRAGED! He turns to order a further attack, and we hear the bell ring, the time has expired!
WINNER in 60:00 - Jack Quinn
Russ: BAH GAWD HE DID IT! Razz: I cannot believe it
The second the bell rings PORK and Katie are in the ring, Quick shoves the two remaining goons toward them and they take an ass kicking while Quick bails out of the ring. Once WAR PIGS dispatch of them, they check on Jack. They try to help him up, but we see Jack slowly push himself to one knee, his hair hanging down over his face as blood drips to the mat. He slowly stands up and as he flips his hair back, he glares at Quick with a maniacal stare, and we hear Jack say "you're mine.”
Quick looks like he's seen a ghost as he slowly backs up the ramp to the back. PORK and Katie help Jack up the ramp to the back as he gets a huge ovation from the crowd.
• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Rory Thomas “Dream On” plays with Rory racing down to ringside, energized by a mostly positive response, the decisive underdog manages to get most fans to sing along with the chorus while bounding off the ropes to get stretched out. “Radioactive” then starts with Lexie, proudly holding the title, walking down the ramp. She smiles at well-wishing fans before taking to the top rope to hold the belt high for all to see. Lexie drops down into the ring and begins loosening her wrists while staring down Rory.
Russ: “Lexie Darling and a challenger that seems like he came from a storybook.” Razz: “He asked for this match a while back. Lexie gave it to him. Rory got jumped by Alex Darling, then Rory BEAT Alex as Alex was playing gatekeeper to the world title. Rory did what he had to do to get here tonight.”
Lexie hands over the title to Davis Hightower, who shows the goods to Rory and then calls for the start of the match as Rory tries to catch Lexie off-guard with a double-leg takedown that Lexie easily steps away from. Rory tries again and gets brushed aside. Lexie, while taking Rory seriously, seems to be aware of her in-ring superiority as everything Rory tries is easily sidestepped or countered, frustrating the youngster. Lexie easily grapples Rory to the mat, breaking without even needing to and causing him to pound the mat in frustration.
Russ: “This might be Rory’s, ‘Welcome to the big leagues’ moment.” Razz: “Getting to this match shows that he deserves to be here. He’s already big-league.”
Rory tries a Hurricanrana, but Lexie blocks and tries to turn him into position for a Boston Crab that gets nowhere as Rory scrambles for the ropes. Rory leaps back into action with a springboard clothesline, but gets small-packaged for 2 when attempting a cover. Rory uses his size to his advantage, catching Lexie in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before ramming her back into the corner. Lexie fights him off lands a swinging DDT. Lexie then begins working on Rory’s knee, driving her boot into it before a series of leg whips. A half-crab is broken as Rory reaches the ropes. With Lexie approaching a just-standing Rory, the rookie backdrops the champion onto the apron and elbows her off before following with a suicide dive. The two battle on the outside as again, a DDT from Lexie stems the tide to her favor. Lexie rolls Rory back in and starts to work the knee again, but Rory cinches in a Koji Klutch that gets reversed into a horse collar. Rory gets the ropes again, only for Lexie to drag him to the middle of the ring, which backfires when Rory gets an inside cradle for 2. Lexie boots Rory in the face for his troubles and then grinds her boot into his face. Rory, now irate, pops up as the two fight to the corner with both going to the top. A top-rope hurricanrana by Rory is blocked and becomes an avalanche power bomb. Lexie covers and gets 2.5. Rory levels Lexie with a forearm, but the champ pops back up and asks for another. Rory obliges as Lexie shakes it off and demands one more. Rory does so again, this time with a Lexie scream and an uppercut in response. Rory kicks out at 1 and starts a modest comeback with a German Suplex and a big boot that gets 2. Lexie wrecks Rory with a Polish Hammer and then wraps Rory into a Darling Clutch. Rory can only hold out for so long before tapping out.
Your winner (submission, 10:56) and STILL OOWF World Champion, Lexie Darling!
Afterward, Lexie helps Rory to his feet and eggs the crowd on in their applause of his effort. Lexie nods and notes that he’s not that far away, but that she is still the champion. Rory, while disappointed, salutes the fans and shakes Lexie’s hand as the feed cuts out.
OOWF Saturday Slam: Double-Crossover – July 30, 2023 – Day 2 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• Sean Franklin vs. Adam Cole As the bell rings, Sean and Adam circle each other before locking up. Sean is eager to show off his grappling expertise, but Adam has a counter for every move – this isn’t his first rodeo – and eventually slows down Sean with a backstabber.
Feeling the momentum, Adam goes to the top rope. As he comes flying from the top turnbuckle, however, Sean catches him, pausing for a bit before dropping Cole for a backbreaker.
Now it is Sean’s turn to control the match, and he makes a determined effort with a series of grapples, holds, and submission attempts to work Cole’s right leg. BRICK~! urges him on from ringside, as it is clear this was part of a predetermined strategy. However, Sean sets up for a suplex at one point, but Cole is able to counter with an elbow to the head, followed by a DDT.
As Sean tries to regain his footing, Cole rushes in with a bicycle kick that connects with such force and resonates throughout the arena that even BRICK~! has to look away. Cole, feeling the effects of the kick himself, buys some time by unceremoniously dumping Sean through the ropes, and we see Sean is busted open as he tries to collect himself.
While the medical staff checks in on Sean before he waves them off, BRICK~! goes nose-to-nose with Cole to stick up for his client. This distraction buys Franklin an opportunity to rush behind Cole and clobber him with an unsighted forearm.
Sean proceeds to toss Cole into the ring post, busting him open as well. He follows with a powerbomb to the ring apron, then drags Cole into the ring. He follows with a release German suplex, cover, one, two, NO! Cole kicks out.
At this point, BRICK~! stands on the ring apron and offers some kind of signal to Sean, who nods in agreement. Just as Junior Hale goes over to admonish BRICK~! for climbing onto the apron, Sean pulls Cole to his feet once again and shoots Cole into the corner, pancaking Hale in the process.
Cole is woozy from the impact, while Hale is out cold, slumped in the corner. BRICK~! rushes to the next closest corner of the ring and exposes the protective covering for the top turnbuckle. Sean again pulls up Cole by the tights, but it’s much more of a struggle this time with a lot of dead weight. Sean sets up for the Full Nelson Slam, but Cole reflexively stops him with an inverted DDT.
That almost does more to annoy Sean than slow him down, as he can sense the metaphorical blood in the water while wiping the literal blood from his forehead. Before Cole can get back to his feet, Sean is standing over him, unloading with a series of closed fists and shouting at him to give up. Again, Sean pulls Cole to his feet, ready to shoot Cole into the exposed turnbuckle, but Cole counters and now it is Sean headed into the corner.
BRICK~!, in a moment of sheer panic, darts between the ropes hoping to cushion the impact with the exposed turnbuckle. This has the opposite intended effect, as the two collide with a sickening thud and Sean drops to the mat. Sean slowly tries to get back to his feet, but Cole drops him again with The Boom. Just as Cole goes for the cover, Angelo Barros rushes into the ring, one, two, THREE!
Your winner, (18:46; pinfall), Adam Cole!
BRICK~! looks on in shock, fully aware of how his decision played into this outcome. Adam Cole’s music plays, but he makes a hasty exit up the ramp after having his arm raised in victory, fully aware that the upstart gave him everything he could handle.
• The Woodsmen vs. FTR With Cash and Dax already standing in the ring, “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” brings out the OOWF Tag Team Champions, The Woodsmen. As Dakota plays to the crowd, Hunter produces a Swiss Army microphone from his pocket and motions for the music to fade.
Hunter: “Gentleman Cash and Gentleman Dax. When we, The Woodsmen, found out that we were going to oppose you in a bout matching tag champions from different companies, we were both excited and then confused. You see, our great fans know what The Woodsmen stand for, but few know what FTR stands for. Dakota and I must have watched at least two FTR matches and maybe an interview to seek that answer, but to na avail. I would suggest not consulting the site Urban Dictionary to seek any answer, so we did not inquire on that particular page. When all seemed to be lost, Dakota had a ‘by Jove!’ moment, FTR is whatever the people want it to mean. Since we, The Woodsmen, are people, we have determined that FTR stands for ‘For the Rabbits.’ As fellow nature enthusiasts, we salute your quest to ensure a better life for all rabbits. In such, we request a hearty handshake among gentlemen before we begin our bout. What say you?”
Hunter folds his Swiss Army microphone back up and places it in his pocket as The Woodsmen enter the ring. FTR, with incredulous expressions, size up Hunter and Dakota as they gleefully extend their hands for a handshake. Cash and Dax grab the hands of Hunter and Dakota, respectively, shake them and pull both into ripcord clotheslines that The Woodsmen deftly duck and reply in unison with back body drops, which send Cash and Dax scrambling from the ring. The Woodsmen gesture to the crowd as FTR collect their wits with Ben Coleman calling for the bell. Cash and Hunter start for their teams as Cash wins a shoving match before the two exchange headlocks. Cash sends Hunter to the deck with a shoulder tackle before taunting Hunter by stepping on an imaginary rock. Dax tags in, as does Dakota, as Dax grabs a headlock. Dakota works out of the headlock and gets one of his own before Dax uses the hair to yank Dakota down. Dakota kips up and wrestles Dax to the mat as the two trade reversals en route to a standoff. Hunter tags in and slugs it out with Dax, but a left hook by Dax outs Hunter down as Cash works his way around the ring and coldcocks Dakota before scampering into the ring with Dakota in pursuit. All four men exchange punches before stereo dropkicks from The Woodsmen clear FTR out for a moment.
Russ: “I know we don’t view The Woodsmen as serious wrestlers, but they’re not giving an inch to FTR!” Razz: “When OOWF pride is on the line, that brings the best from everyone in that locker room.”
Back in the ring, Hunter and Cash engage in a hockey-style fight, but a blind tag from Dax allows him to pull Hunter into a standing armbar that becomes a crucifix pin which gets 2. Hunter hits Dax with a DDT, but doesn’t cover as Cash steps between the ropes. Dax recovers and blasts Hunter with a series of hammer fists, leading to a slick series of FTR double-team attacks. Hunter fights his way out of FTR’s corner and even cradles Dax for 2. Cash clips Hunter’s knee while Dax bumps Dakota off of the apron. Cash locks Hunter in a figure four while sitting close enough to the ropes to make them of use when Coleman is checking for a submission from Hunter, who manages to turn the figure four as Cash easily grabs the ropes in sight of Coleman at the reversal. While both men return to a vertical base, Dax rushes in with a superkick for Hunter that gets Cash by mistake. Dakota rushes in as The Woodsmen set Cash up for a Hart Attack that gets 2.5 before Dax saves. Cash has the wherewithal to roll up Hunter, but Coleman waves off the attempt with full view of Cash grabbing Hunter’s shorts. Meanwhile, Dax posts Dakota just as Cash clips Hunter’s knee again. Hunter battles through with a series of rollups, but can’t keep weight on his injured leg, but Dakota wins a slugfest with Dax and urges Hunter to make the tag. Hunter battles past Cash to make the tag as Dakota comes in with both barrels blazing, running through Cash three times before clotheslining Dax over the top just as he reentered the ring. Hunter then pulls out a red pop-up tent from The Woodsmen’s corner and sets it up in the middle of the ring before throwing Cash inside.
Russ: “We don’t know what goes on in the Tapout Tent, but it usually means a victory for The Woodsmen.” Razz: “It’s genius! If you don’t have Dakota’s submission technique scouted, you can’t prepare!”
Dakota enters the tent, zips the entrance as what appears to be a wild brawl ensues inside. An arm, presumably belonging to Cash rips through the tent and starts to grab the nearby canvas before slapping the mat.
Your winners (submission, 20:05), The Woodsmen!
Afterward, Hunter and Dakota celebrate with FTR waiting to offer their respect. The four shake hands and raise each other’s arms in a salute to the fans.
• Alexander Darling vs. Maxwell Jacob Friedman “Better Than You” plays as Maxwell strolls out to a positive response, given his recent actions in his own company. “King of the World” then plays out Alexander, who gets a semi-positive response by proxy of company loyalty of the fans in Asheville. After Mel Creech calls for the bell, Maxwell tries for a headlock takedown a few times, but is unable to get Alexander off of his feet. They trade hip-toss attempts and Alexander gets a springboard takedown before a double knucklelock and bridge for 2. Maxwell and Alexander trade pinfall attempts for 2 and battle to a stalemate, but Maxwell smacks Alexander down, but Alexander, with a snarl, pops up and returns the favor to Maxwell before mocking Maxwell with an over-exaggerated strut on the outside. Maxwell stems the tide with a tope suicida , but Alexander is able to reverse just enough of the dive to hit a DDT on the outside mats.
Alexander goes to work on the back and drops an elbow for two, and a backbreaker gets 2. Maxwell whips him into the corner and continues on the back with a backbreaker of his own. Maxwell and Alexander fight to the top with Alexander trying a stunner from the top, but Maxwell shoves Alexander off, drops to the middle rope and misses a knee drop. Alexander begins to work the knee with gusto, stomping away and then wrapping Maxwell in a spinning toe hold. Alexander softens the knee with a series of elbow drops and then signals for the Darling Money Clip. As Alexander wraps Maxwell’s legs, he is caught in a small package that gets 2. Alexander stomps his way through Maxwell, but is caught and taken down as Maxwell floats from the ankle pick to a La Bell Lock. After about 30 seconds of struggling, Alexander is able to reach the bottom rope to get the break. Maxwell does a double stomp on Alexander’s arm and tries the armbar, but Alexander takes out the knee again and gets a figure-four this time. Maxwell reverses it and Alexander makes the ropes as they both retreat to the apron. They slug it out and Maxwell hits a tombstone on the apron. Alexander, while woozy, beats the count and pulls Maxwell in with a cradle for 2, and follows with a backslide for 2. A small package from Alexander gets 2, but Maxwell reverses for 2 and they roll around the ring each getting multiple counts of 2.
As the two are separated and catching their air, Maxwell pulls out the Dynamite Diamond Ring and places it on his pinkie, right in the sight of Creech, who admonishes Maxwell and threatens disqualification. As Maxwell protests, Alexander charges in with a flying forearm, sending the ring and Creech to the mat and Maxwell to the corner. With Creech down, both men glance at the ring, then each other, then make a dash for it, both getting to the jewelry at the same time. Alexander wins the battle with a Greco-Roman low blow and places the ring on his hand. Maxwell gets to his feet, but catches sight of Creech starting to come to and immediately drops to the mat, feigning unconsciousness and even cutting himself for effect. Alexander, realizing the ruse, quickly disposes of the ring before grabbing Maxwell by the head as Creech gets vertical. Just out of Creech’s view, Maxwell drills Alexander with a low blow, pulls him into an cradle and gets 3 while Creech is still shaking the cobwebs.
Your winner (pinfall, 13:23), Maxwell Jacob Friedman!
Afterward, Alexander charges Maxwell, who rolls out of the ring and retrieves his Dynamite Diamond Ring. Alexander slowly tries to center his composure before losing his cool and kicking the bottom rope and giving chase to Maxwell, who exits the arena in a hurry.
• Jack Quinn and Shokan Dojo vs. Blackpool Combat Club (Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta) While the video package building to the match plays, the feed cuts to the back where all six are brawling backstage as PORK and Katie hammer away at Claudio and Wheeler, while Jack and Jon exchange blows. As match official Davis Hightower makes his way to the back, a split-screen decree from interim general manager Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox to turn the match into a falls-count-anywhere fight, much to the delight of the fans in attendance. Jon sends Jack into the Zamboni gate while PORK misses a clothesline on Wheeler and nails Katie by mistake. Claudio and Wheeler take advantage of the War Pigs’ miscommunication while Jon pulls out a fork and gouges a piece of Jack’s forehead with the utensil. With Jack bleeding, Jon starts to work the cut with punches and his fingers, yelling taunts until the look in Jack’s eye changes.
Russ: “I think Mox just unlocked a part of Jack Quinn that he’ll regret later.” Razz: “Jack Quinn might regret this, too. Moosehead Jack, however …”
Jack turns the tide on Jon, blasting him with a nearby kendo stick and keeping the beating going with stomps and belt lashes. PORK and Katie run through Wheeler with a double clothesline, giving the same to Claudio. PORK splashes Claudio and gets 2, while Katie hits an Oklahoma Stampede on Wheeler to also get 2. Jack leaves Jon in a heap to join his charges, handing Katie a kendo stick and urging PORK to just use himself as a weapon. Katie and PORK operate as instructed with Katie wearing Wheeler out with the kendo stick as PORK repeatedly crushes Claudio against the wall before Jon charges in with a chair to clean house and give his BBC mates a breather. Jon DDTs Katie on the chair, getting 2.5 before PORK saves. Jack is seen clawing away at Wheeler’s eyes before Claudio shifts the numbers advantage. Claudio signals for the giant swing on Jack, grabbing his legs, but PORK saves again – this time with a clothesline. All six stand off and then begin brawling again with no clear advantage in the fisticuffs as the pairs switch off to the final form of Katie vs. Jon, PORK vs. Wheeler and Jack vs. Claudio with Shokan Dojo finally starting to land the bulk of the blows, all three hitting simultaneous wind-up haymakers to floor the Blackpool Combat Club.
Just as Jack catches his air, he is pummeled from behind by Liam and Nigel, while “King” Pete Quick and Angie Delpetro assault Katie and PORK. The Royal Guard hoist Jack in the air, delivering a double choke slam into a stack of pallets while Angie and Pete choke out their targets with utility cables.
Russ: “Why are they here? They have no business being here!” Razz: “It’s falls count anywhere and no-disqualification, Pete Quick and his crew are just as legal as a headlock in this match.”
Pete, Angie and The Royal Guard send Shokan Dojo through the curtain and onto the entrance ramp to continue the beating in the ringside area. The BCC follows as Jon gets into a shoving match with Pete. Claudio and Wheeler take the fight to The Royal Guard while Angie stays at the top of the ramp. Eventually Pete, Liam and Nigel depart without further incident, but with PORK and Katie now busted open, the BCC are visually in the advantage. Shokan Dojo, having regrouped in the ring, waits on the Blackpool Combat Club to head toward the ring. With PORK standing in front, he touches his forehead and checks his fingers to see blood. PORK’s expression changes to one of absolute rage as he dashes out of the ring and greets the BCC with clotheslines for Wheeler and Jon while running through Claudio. PORK then tosses Wheeler into the crowd with an overhead suplex, stomps away at Jon and then power bombs Claudio on top of Jon. Katie and Jack join the fight in the aisle as Wheeler climbs over the barricade with a fresh cut on his forehead. Katie spears Claudio through another barricade, while Jack and Jon trade slaps. PORK, still enraged, throws Wheeler down the ramp and then into the ring. As Wheeler begs off PORK, Jon and Jack’s brawl follows as Katie disposes of Claudio.
Katie stands by PORK and Jack, but another attack from Pete, Angie and The Royal Guard as the quartet entered through the crowd puts down Shokan Dojo, Jon and Wheeler join the fight to switch the numbers advantage, again chasing off The Consortium. Claudio staggers to the ring, as the opponents stand off again while Pete shouts obscenities from a safe distance.
Russ: “These teams are not fond of each other, but both seem to have an issue with Pete Quick and his gang.” Razz: “The Blackpool Combat Club wants to handle its own fights. It’s never wise to offer unsolicited help.”
Just as the six wrestlers are about to reengage, Liam and Nigel jump onto the apron, drawing the attention of Jon, Jack, Claudia and Katie as they give chase. With PORK and Wheeler left in the ring, Pete rolls in and clocks both with his scepter, knocking both men cold, but with PORK falling on Wheeler. Hightower counts 3.
Your winners (pinfall, 19:52), the team of Jack Quinn, PORK and Katie Bardoor!
Afterward, Pete puts the boots to both PORK and Wheeler before Jack, Katie, Jon and Claudio head to the ring to chase him off one more time. As PORK and Wheeler come to, All six combatants shake hands, except for Jack and Jon, mainly because of Jack’s refusal. Jon offers the wanking motion to Jack in reply while Katie and PORK do their best to settle a now furious Jack.
• Lexie Darling, Lindsay McAllister and Beverly Cambridge vs. The Outcasts (Ruby Soho, Saraya, Toni Storm) The feed heads to the ring with The Outcasts standing inside, Saraya on crutches while Ruby and Toni look as if they were just in a fight. Saraya, with a microphone, motions for the crowd to quiet down before shrieking the command.
Saraya: “While we did not expect a warm welcome in this town filled with the dumbest of the dumb, we didn’t expect that approximately a dozen women in this city would attack us to make us unable to fight. It’s all because Lexie Darling, this company’s champion, is afraid of being exposed by a superior champion in AEW women’s champion Toni Storm. It’s because Lindsay McAllister can’t compete with Ruby Soho and Beverly Cambridge … Well, I’m sure you set this whole thing up so I wouldn’t embarrass you!”
“Radioactive” plays as Lexie, Lindsay and Beverly come out united and promptly marching to the ring. Lexie with a mic of her own gets right in Saraya’s face until Ruby and Toni step in.
Lexie: “So if we’re to believe you. You three were assaulted by fans? How many did you say? A dozen? An attack in public and not in a sanctioned fight. Surely, we would have heard about arrests and a police report would be available. Where exactly did this fight happen?”
Saraya: “It happened as we were getting our rental car! Some redneck at the counter just jumped over and started …”
Lexie: “Ooooooh. So you were renting your car at a business with surveillance footage? Clearly we can hand this over to the local police and help our guests get the justice that they deserve.”
Saraya: “This town’s police force is about as incompetent as they are incontinent!”
Beverly takes the mic from Lexie.
Beverly: “Saraya. Were you treated on scene or at a medical facility?”
Saraya: “On scene.”
Beverly: “OK. Those crutches. They just materialized?”
Saraya: “How else can I walk? Why does it matter?”
Beverly: “Earlier today, an Amazon delivery addressed to an ’S.Knight’ arrived at the arena. The box, a very long box, was placed outside of your team’s locker room. A person fitting your description can be seen sprinting down the hallway to check on the box. Given the severity of your injuries, it couldn’t have been you, correct?”
Beverly points to the OOWFTron to show footage of all three Outcasts meeting at Saraya’s locker room inspecting the contents of the alleged box, none looking like they were recently in a fight. As Lindsay, Beverly and Lexie watch the video, Saraya tosses Toni a crutch as The Outcasts slowly stalk their possible prey. Right as Toni and Saraya are within range of the crutches, the OOWFTron returns to a live feed, allowing the OOWF trio to see the possible attack. All three turn around in fighting stances with Saraya immediately dropping to the mat and clutching her knee. Lindsay rips the crutch from Toni’s grip and begins swinging as Toni and Ruby bail from the ring. Saraya, tries to ward off all three with her crutch until Lexie casually grabs it from her. Saraya’s knee suddenly heals as she rolls from the ring and joins her fellow Outcasts on the ramp. The AEW trio offers crude gestures to the nearby fans and exits as Masato Misawa rules the match a no-contest.
• Firewoman vs. Chris Jericho “Judas” plays out Chris as some fans sing along, but most aren’t here to offer Chris adoration. Chris – with his bat, Floyd, in hand – milks the entrance for all its worth as his theme stops suddenly with the lights in the arena taking a yellowish-orange tint. As the camera cuts to the top of the ramp, the floor splits open as fire can be seen poking through to the surface. “Ring of Fire” plays as a platform raises from underneath the ramp, showing Firewoman standing in a chariot surrounded by fire. A gesture from Firewoman “parts the fire” as the chariot led by two horses takes Firewoman to the ring, where Jack Quinn, fresh from his fight earlier in the evening, sitting at ringside. As Firewoman steps off the chariot and removes her leather jacket, she nods and smiles at Jack, who returns the greeting and hands Firewoman a brand-new Happy Deth Bat – No. 5 in the lineage – with a custom color scheme to match her attire for the evening. Firewoman scales the ropes and soaks in the cheers, urging fans along in the chorus of “Ring of Fire” before stepping down and into the ring. Chris immediately goes nose-to-nose with Firewoman, smiling and softly pushing Firewoman away with a palm to the forehead, only drawing Firewoman’s ire and getting her right back in Chris’ face as the AEW veteran smiles and dismissively backs away.
Ring announcer Mike Elevenbee gives the big-match intros as Gavin “Junior” Hale checks both combatants for anything illegal and warns both about using their bats. The bell rings as Firewoman wants the fight right away, but Chris drops to the outside. Hale’s count goes to 8 before Chris rolls in … Just to roll back outside. Firewoman wants to give chase, but Jack instructs her to wait him out. Chris repeats the escape again until Firewoman sits cross-legged in the middle of the ring and waits on Chris to return. Thinking he has an opening, Chris approaches the seated Firewoman only to see her kip up and drill him in the hamstrings with alternating kicks from her left and right boots. Chris tries to take a powder, but Firewoman steps on Chris’ right hand and unceremoniously drags him inside before he rakes Firewoman’s eyes and scurries back outside with Firewoman in hot pursuit. Chris leads a chase around the ring, staying a step ahead until he slips on a cup of soda that was tossed at him during earlier stalls. With Chris grounded, he begs of Firewoman, who pays zero attention to the request as she stomps away until Hale’s count hits 8. Firewoman rolls in and rolls back out, but into an uppercut by Chris that seats her on the apron. Chris grabs a front facelock and cradles Firewoman as he picks her up, only to drop her spine-first on the apron. As Firewoman rolls into the ring, Chris follows with a massive grin on his face, shouting taunts based on the past that the two shared in and out of wrestling. Firewoman pulls herself up by the ropes, only for Chris to flatten her in the corner with a running attack. As Firewoman is slumped in the corner, Chris grabs her legs and pulls her to the middle of the ring, teasing the Lion Tamer, but shaking his head from side to side before stomping her torso. Chris then grabs a leg and begins stomping away on the hamstring before turning Firewoman into position for a half-crab submission that she easily escapes by mule-kicking Chris in the jaw with her free leg.
Russ: “Chris has a strategy. Take away the legs and take away Firewoman’s ability to fly.” Razz: “All through this process, Jack told Fire that she could not quit or he’d stop training her. How insulting would it be if Chris Jericho made her submit as her brother is watching? I think THAT’S his strategy.”
Firewoman, now standing, dodges a jab from Chris before landing a few blows of her own. A one-legged dropkick hits Chris flush in the face, putting him on his back. Firewoman stays on the attack, dropping a knee on Chris’ throat and then going for a cover that gets 2. Firewoman keeps on the attack, booting Chris in the spine with multiple kicks and then a seated snap mare that gets 2. Chris rolls out of the ring again, right in front of Jack. Chris gets in Jack’s face and shoves him off of the chair, only for a fan seated in the front row to stand up and stare a hole through Chris, who backs away cautiously.
Razz: “That’s Lucas Mann! Stank! Firewoman’s husband! If Jericho thought he could mess with Jack Quinn, he didn’t know that Jack has back-up!” Russ: “More importantly, Firewoman, has a big emotional boost!”
Stank steps over the barricade and begins shouting his support for Firewoman while helping Jack to his feet and also holding him back to prevent the disqualification. Chris returns to the ring and eats a series of stomps as Firewoman is determined to wear the tread of her boots out on his face. Chris manages to catch a boot, upend Firewoman and roll her up for 2. Chris goes back to the injured leg only to take a kick to the face. Firewoman stands herself in the corner and dodges a corner splash, grabbing Chris by the head and yanking him down with a sling blade. Chris tries to pop up, but Firewoman stays on him with a bulldog-like tenacity as she rains down elbows on his head. Firewoman heads to the top and hits a missile dropkick, getting 2, but Chris clips the knee. Firewoman replies with a stiff elbow, but cannot fight her way out of an attempted Texas Cloverleaf, grabbing the ropes just as Chris turned her over. Chris drags Firewoman to the middle and flips into a jackknife cradle that gets 2. Chris then signals for the Walls of Jericho, but can’t turn it all the way through as Firewoman boots her way to freedom and the apron. As Firewoman stands up, Chris barrels into the knee again, sending her into a heap on the outside. While on the floor, Firewoman tears off her kneepad and limps to the ring where she nails Chris with a big boot that gets 2 only because Firewoman couldn’t make an immediate pinfall attempt. Firewoman slugs Chris to the corner as the two fight to the top. With the two standing on the top turnbuckle, Chris tries a superplex to the outside before Firewoman shoves him off onto the announce table. Firewoman then looks down, positions herself and crashes down on Chris with a Firesault, breaking the table and maybe a few ribs as both wrestlers lay in a heap.
Firewoman is the first to be upright, but is caught by a spear from Chris that pushes her through the barricade. Chris then breaks the count and returns to the outside to lock Firewoman in the Walls of Jericho before pulling back to a full Lion Tamer on the outside, drawing screams from Firewoman as Chris yells, “TELL THEM THAT YOU QUIT, YOU QUITTER! TELL THEM THAT YOU QUIT!” Hale’s count gets to 8 before Chris breaks the hold and returns again to the outside. Firewoman crawls away from Chris, who winds up face to face with Stank, who pays Chris no mind as he checks on Firewoman. Firewoman indignantly brushes off Stank’s concern and crawls to the ring where she pulls herself to the apron and back into the ring. Chris follows with a few taunts for Firewoman, but gets a boot in the gut for his troubles. Chris stomps away at the wounded Firewoman and then runs to the ropes to deliver a Lionsault that catches Firewoman’s knees, hurting both, but seemingly giving an adrenaline boost to Firewoman, who pops up and hits a Really Good Diamond Cutter on Chris, before a standing Firesault, a springboard Firesault and finally the BEST FIRESAULT EVAR! combine to get 2.9. Chris barely with it lays on the mat as Firewoman looks toward Jack and Stank with a massive grin.
Razz: “What is she thinking? That grin from Firewoman usually leads to someone getting severely hurt.” Russ: “If it’s what I think she’s thinking, she’s about to show the teacher what she’s learned.”
Firewoman grabs Chris’ legs and turns him over into a Boston Crab position, drawing immediate groans and screams.
Russ: “FIREWALL! FIREWALL! SHE IS GOING TO TRY TO BEAT CHRIS JERICHO AT HIS OWN GAME!”
As Firewoman clutches for dear life, Chris drags them toward the ropes only for Firewoman to use everything in her to pull things to the center. As Firewoman increases the torque on Chris’ back, Chris taps out just before passing out.
Your winner (submission, 23:03), Firewoman!
Immediately after the bell is rung, Jack runs into the ring where Fire is celebrating. He spins her around to face him and the ring mic picks up the conversation. FW: I did it! JQ: I knew you could. FW: Thanks, Jackie… I love you, big brother.
There’s a pause, and Firewoman throws her arms around her brother in a big hug. Jack is momentarily surprised and returns the hug as the crowd cheers the siblings.
The siblings are still hugging when there’s a change in Firewoman’s posture. Jack pulls back a bit and Fire slumps forward and then her head falls backward. Her eyes are closed and she appears to be unconscious. Jack eases her down to the mat and screams for the medical staff. They rush to the ring, watched closely by Lucas Mann, and begin to try to work on her, as the scene fades.
OOWF Saturday Slam – July 15 ... 16, 2023 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• Firewoman vs. Ona Jones Ona Jones is already in the ring when The Cult starts and Firewoman makes her way to the ring, with her brother and trainer Jack Quinn.
Russ: “Fire’s had a rough couple of weeks between her losses at the house show and the ultimatum from her brother.” Razz: “I’m surprised he’s even here. Fire doesn’t take kindly to ultimatums.” Russ: “This is one complicated sibling relationships that’s for sure.” Razz: “She looks pretty focused … maybe the tough love is working?”
The bell rings and Ona decides to take it to Fire…who isn’t playing. She grabs Ona by the hair and snapmares her right out of the ring! Ona gets to her feet but Fire has hit the far ropes and comes sailing out to a crossbody, knocking her down. Both women get to their feet, and Fire again has the upper hand, driving Ona’s head down on the announce table.
Razz: “WHOA! Now this is the Firewoman I remember! No Mercy!”
Fire continues to hold Ona by the hair and goes to drive her into the barricade, but Ona gets a foot up to block it. Ona counters by grabbing Fire by the hair and throwing her over the barricade instead. Ona gets back into the ring as the referee counts, but he doesn’t have to because Fire practically levitates over the barricade and into the ring. Ona and Firewoman exchange haymakers. Ona grabs Fire by the hair again and pulls her into an uppercut elbow once…twice…thre—No! Fire pushes off and plants her foot right in Ona’s midsection. Ona doubles over and Fire grabs her in a front facelock. She poses a bit for the crowd, and then goes into a suplex, heads to the top rope…MOONSAULT! She makes the pin and one, two, THREE~!
Your winner (pinfall, 2:45), Firewoman!
Before Fire can celebrate, the camera goes to the entrance and we see Chris Jericho, golf clapping.
Y2J: “Nice, nice … you are really doing a great job dispatching with rookies, jobbers, and wannabes.”
Firewoman starts to go towards the ropes to probably run up the ramp, but Jack is talking some sense, and she might be listening.
Y2J: “Now, I won’t be taking it easy on you, just because you’re my protégé. And let’s face it, I taught you everything you know. You wouldn’t even be in that ring right now if hadn’t been for me. But I want to at least get more than a 2-minute match out of you, and your brother isn’t getting you any challenges, so I guess I have to do some MORE training for you.”
Anna Jay comes from the gorilla position and Firewoman is all in favor of that. Jack doesn’t even try … Firewoman runs up the ramp and she and Anna meet at the half way point and start to exchange punches. Anna Jay is getting the upper hand, forcing Fire back to the ring as Jericho follows. Anna Jay tosses Fire into the ring, and after the referee consults with her, he rings the bell. Jack and Jericho glare at each other but basically stay in their respective corners.
So, we are off and Anna Jay trips Fire up and tries to score a quick pin, but doesn’t get it. She pulls Fire up by the hair and peppers her with elbows … but Fire’s not quite done yet, and returns with some rapid-fire elbows of her own as the crowd counts along. She tries to run the ropes but Anna counters. Then Anna runs but Fire counters, and they keep matching and countering each other move for move.
Razz: “Now THIS is the kind of test Fire needs.” Russ: “Or this is a way to put her out of commission!”
The energy doesn’t let up and just when it seems no one will get the upper hand, Fire gets momentarily distracted by Jericho on the apron, which lets Anna Jay get her into a reverse widow’s peak and goes for the pin, one, two … NO! Fire gets an elbow up and I don’t know who is more surprised, Moose, Jericho, or Anna! Jericho yells at Anna to finish Fire off. She pulls Fire up by the hair and gets her into a sleeper hold. It looks like it’s working but Fire sees where she is and rushes forward so that Anna’s face hits the turnbuckle as Fire rolls free. She immediately grabs Anna and gets her into Fujiwara Armbar, while looking right at Jericho!
Russ: “Hey that’s not in Fire’s usual moveset.” Razz: “No but I believe it’s in Jericho’s 1004 holds!”
Fire is not holding back now and Anna has no choice but to tap out!
Your winner again (submission, 9:53), Firewoman!
Fire rolls to her corner and Jack gets her to the back while Jericho checks on Anna and glares at his future opponent.
• Shokan Dojo and Hunter of The Woodsmen (with Dakota) vs. The Royal Guard and Angie Delpetro (with Pete Quick) With Angie and the Royal Guard already inside the ring, PORK and Katie step through the curtain to a wild applause, but not 100% backing. As the duo makes it’s way to the ring, “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” bellows out as Hunter, one half of The Woodsmen is nowhere to be found. Katie, tired of looking back urges PORK to stop looking back as the pair enters the ring to face 3-on-2 odds, until …
Russ: “What in the hell?!” Razz: “It’s Hunter! It’s about a dozen bucks and they all look pissed!”
The herd, under the watchful eye of Dakota, charges toward the ringside area as Angie, Nigel and Liam spill out of the ring and into the stands. Katie glares at Hunter while PORK is simply amused by the whole thing, laughing until Katie’s glare turns to her partner.
Dakota finally coaxes the deer to evacuate the ringside area as Angelo Barros starts the match proper with PORK indicating that he wants Nigel. The larger of the two problem solvers steps over the ropes, but doesn’t want part of grappling with the bulbous midwesterner. Hunter, now with his own kazoo fashioned in the shape of a calvary bugle, plays a few common classics to rile the crowd up as Katie stares daggers to the partner she never wanted. With all eyes seemingly on Hunter, Liam hands an object to Nigel, who then approaches PORK and slaps him across the face, dropping him immediately. As PORK lay unconscious, Barros signals for the bell having been maybe the only one ringside who saw the act as Nigel drops the blackjack on PORK.
Your winners, (disqualification, 1:06), the team of Shokan Dojo and Hunter of The Woodsmen!
The brawl is on afterward with Dakota serving as PORK’s surrogate to even the numbers, Angie gets almost zero contact on Katie, while The Royal Guard and The Woodsmen are battling to a stalemate. PORK comes to, quickly ambles to his feet and unleashes hell on anything moving, running through The Royal Guard with a double clothesline before and after hitting the ropes. PORK then suplexes Angie into Liam’s hands before The Woodsmen connect on a double dropkick to send the pair tumbling out. Nigel, begging off, eventually slides under the bottom rope to avoid more of PORK’s wrath. With PORK red-faced and breathing heavily, Katie pats him on the shoulder only to have her arm grabbed with PORK sending Katie to the mat with a hard judo throw. The Woodsmen see the act and immediately intervene as PORK snaps to and immediately apologizes to Katie, who is smiling.
The Woodsmen slowly back away from PORK, who is desperately trying to explain himself while Katie is grinning from ear to ear.
• Alexander Darling vs. Rory Thomas Aerosmith’s “Dream On” begins to play and the OOWF rookie Rory Thomas steps out from the back to a big cheer from the crowd. He makes his way down the aisle, a bit slower than our last show as he has his eyes peeled for Alexander Darling lying in wait, but there is no attack coming and he climbs into the ring for a second set of big cheers. He takes it in, but quickly focuses on the entrance and is awaiting his opponent. He doesn’t have to wait very long as, “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE” leads right into “King of the World” and the casually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and a hoodie, Alexander Darling steps out from the back. He saunters down the ring, almost chuckling to himself as he slides under the bottom rope. Oh wait, he’s not chuckling to himself as he gets right in Rory’s face and laughs at him. The disrespect. Rory isn’t having that and nails Alex with a right cross as we are under way.
It's clear Alex has taken this match for granted and it’s costing him early as Rory is a proverbial house afire with strikes, and armdrags, and hiptosses, and just whipping Alex from corner to corner. Throughout the early beating he has taken, while continuing to try and find an opening, Alex continues to smile and laugh at Rory. And that only infuriates Rory more as he continues the onslaught but it also costs him finally as he feels he has Alex weakened enough as he climbs the tunrbuckles and goes for a missile dropkick, that Alex sidesteps out of the way of. Alex quickly begins a relentless assault on the rookie’s knee. Chop blocks, dragon screw leg whips, spinning knee bars…Alex holds nothing back as he tries to take Rory apart one body part at a time.
Rory gets a few hope spots in, and he looks good in those moments, but Alex is using his experience and willingness to do anything to win to keep Rory in check and this looks almost academic at this point. It feels almost as if Alex is now toying with Rory as he lifts him into a powerbomb position but with a bit higher toss and nails the HELICOPTER BOMB. Alex goes for the easy cover…
1… 2… Alex pulls Rory off the mat and gets a glare from the ref and massive boos from the crowd. Alex just smirks and laughs it off and the ringside microphone can pick up Alex saying, “this is the price you pay for thinking you deserve to be in the ring with my title.” Alex turns Rory over and grabs his legs, he flips him over…DARLING MONEY CLIP is locked in. This is all but over now as Rory is struggling, but Alex has him in the center of the ring. But Rory is fighting and showing real fortitude here as he refuses to give up. Alex has a slightly bewildered look on his face for a second before he looks over his shoulder and sees Rory struggling towards the ropes. Alex is about to wrench back further when there is a blast from the sound system and Imagine Dragons “Radioactive” begins to play and the OOWF World Champion steps out from the back. Alexis Darling is on the stage staring at her brother who has to shake his head to keep focus, but that’s enough of a distraction that Rory is able to grab the ropes to force a break. Alex doesn’t let go as he is staring up the ramp. As the referee gets to 3, Alexis starts a sprint towards the ring and finally Alex lets go and for the first time, he acknowledges his sister as he walks towards the aisle himself and begins yelling.
There is a weird twin thing going on as they aren’t yelling in any known language but it is heated and they are pointing and saying a lot of stuff. All of this has given Rory a chance to recover and he nails Alex with a dropkick to the back to cause Alex to have the top rope snap back into his throat. Before he gets a chance to recover, Rory grabs him from behind and hits a roll-through CHAOS THEORY…
1…Rory bridges back 2…Alexander is struggling and Lexie is laughing 3!!!
Your winner (pinfall, 13:42), Rory Thomas?!
WHAT AN UPSET!!! Rory Thomas has just pinned former 5-time OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Alexander Darling and he looks shocked as he jumps in the air. Lexie nods towards Rory and makes the universal title match motion towards him as she begins to head back up the ramp. No one has noticed that Alexander had slid out of the ring and grabbed a chair. As soon as Rory turns back around from facing Lexie, WHAM…steel chair to the gut and in the quickest of motions, Alexander Darling has Rory up on his shoulders…DARLING DRIVER onto the chair. Lexie finally hears the commotion in the ring and turns to sprint back that way as Alexander slides out and hops into the crowd. The yelling between the twins continues as officials come to check on Rory.
• Pete Quick vs. Dakota of The Woodsmen (with Hunter) Dakota waits in the ring with Hunter with Pete’s entrance video and music playing, but no sign of Pete or any of his associates anywhere. A feed to the locker room cuts in on the OOWFTron, as Pete is standing just outside of the curtain.
PETE: “Dakota. You can have this win for all I care. I’d rather take the loss and continue my very important work of ridding OOWF of Jackie Quinn, than to dirty my hands with the most overgrown of the reject Boy Scouts. So go sell your popcorn or whatever it is that you do. Tell your grandkids that you got a win over Pete Quick one day.”
Pete pauses and smiles.
PETE: “… And whatever you do, don’t look behind you.”
Before The Woodsmen can react, Nigel and Liam clock Hunter and Dakota with blackjacks and begin stomping away at the downed tag-team champions. Nigel pairs off with a limp Hunter as Dakota’s willing spirit is no match for Liam’s brass knuckles. The beating continues while the bell rings incessantly until PORK barrels down the aisle, somehow faster than Katie Bardoor. The War Pigs go toe-to-toe with The Royal Guard as security detail swarm the ring to keep the teams apart. PORK checks on both Woodsmen while Katie invites the Guard in for more fisticuffs.
• Intercontinental championship: Awesome Bill from Dawsonville (c) vs. Beverly Cambridge vs. Jeff Mangyuniku All three are in the ring with Mike Elevenbee going through the introductions. Beverly and Jeff get the expected reactions, but Awesome Bill gets more jeers than cheers, which he has definitely noticed, given his uneasy expression. With the bell ringing, Beverly and Jeff charge Bill, giving him various chops and strikes that the Georgian humors before shoving away Jeff and mowing down Beverly with a one-step lariat. Jeff dives back in, only to be caught and powerslammed by Bill for 2. Beverly kips up and takes the fight to Bill, getting a big boot and a count of 2 for her troubles. Jeff jumps on Bill’s back and is able to bring him down to a knee while latching on a sleeper hold. Jeff lets go as Beverly slides in with a dropkick to Bill’s other leg, dropping him to both knees as the two unfurl a series of kicks – both tandem and individual – as Bill falls face-first onto the mat. Beverly slides in with a Labell Lock as Jeff focuses on locking Bill’s legs in a Boston crab. Bill choices are limited, as is his mobility, but he manages to use his free arm to drag all three to the ropes where he forces a break.
Russ: “Had Bill tapped out, who would have won?” Razz: “Beverly had the first submission try, so it would have been her.” Russ: “But maybe it was Jeff’s Boston crab that would have forced Bill’s hand.” Razz: “Look! Bill got to the ropes, which was the best possible result for those fans following along.”
Beverly and Jeff continue double-teaming Bill, who fights off both for temporary breathers, but cannot get separation with Beverly and Jeff birddogging him in a corner. Bill absorbs a heaping helping of punishment before “Insane in the Brain” plays. Everyone stops with Beverly and Jeff looking confused and Bill looking excited and hopeful. After 90 seconds, it appears that Justin Sane is not coming down that aisle, much to Bill’s disappointment. With Bill forlorn, The Young Bucks sneak up behind Jeff and drop him with stereo superkicks. Beverly tries to come to the aid of Jeff, but is backdropped over the ropes. Bill seizes the opportunity with a woozy Jeff, connecting with Go Dawgs, getting 3 from Gavin “Junior” Hale in the process as he chose to keep the match rolling, despite the outside interference.
Your winner (pinfall, 10:38), and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville!
Afterward, Awesome Bill clutches his championship from Hale while continuing to look back toward the curtain in case Justin was taking his time to make his return. After a few minutes, Bill defeatedly sighs and walks to the back. While that’s happening, Matt and Nick Jackson taunt Jeff even more, getting him to take a few swipes before putting on a tandem offense clinic, leaving him laying again as Beverly slowly makes her way back to the ring after crashing into the barricade head-first.
• Zed and Sean Franklin vs. The One-Notes It appears Carrie and Harper want to serenade us with another of their "classic" songs (or, at least, attempt to), but just as the music starts to play, Harper is drilled from behind by an elbow from Sean Franklin. Sean and Carrie then begin to exchange blows on the entrance ramp as Zed and Rev. BRICK~! emerge behind them. Zed appears none too eager to take part in this pre-match skirmish and gives BRICK~! a disapproving glance, but Sean and Harper have taken off towards the ring so he eventually has to give chase to take part in the match.
Once the bell rings, Sean quickly gains the upper hand over Carrie ... try as she might as the more technical of the One-Notes, she can't keep up with Sean's dexterity and athleticism. While Sean is dominating in the ring, Rev. BRICK~! is firing up the crowd, tossing t-shirts into the ringside seating and trying to start up a "House! Divided!" chant.
Zed, on the ring apron: “You realize that's a terrible name, right?!” Rev. BRICK~!: “Are you kidding? The people are going to love it!” Zed: “You're literally saying we're divided! That's a shitty team!” Rev. BRICK~!: “Language, Zed!”
Zed turns around, eyes firmly rolling into the back of his head, just in time to see Sean scampering over for a tag while climbing to the top rope for what we can only assume would have been some kind of double-team maneuver they worked on during the week. However, with Zed unprepared, he moves into Sean's way instead. By the time Zed's in position, Carrie is back on her feet and spears Zed into the corner, sending Sean tumbling.
Zed curses again under his breath, receiving another admonishment from BRICK~! at ringside, as Carrie tags in Harper. Harper charges in looking for a massive clothesline, but Zed rolls underneath to avoid it, sending Harper crashing into the turnbuckle. On the rebound, Zed catches Harper and tosses her across the ring with a suplex. Zed turns, sees Sean has recovered and is back in the corner, and tags him in. Sean hits his Full Nelson Slam, then tags Zed back who immediately goes to the top rope ... The Answer! One, two, three!
Your winners (5:54; pinfall), Sean Franklin and Zed!
Rev. BRICK~! begins to march towards Mike Elevenbee, demanding he refer to the victors by their "team name," but Zed pulls him away while a bemused Sean watches the spectacle before the trio make their way back up the ramp, Zed high-fiving fans along the way.
• The Frenemies vs. The Battling Baristas Before the feed even gets to ringside, chaos and yelling cam be heard as The Battling Baristas are laid out, stacked on top of each other with a solitary black boot in the frame. The camera zooms out to show Nyla Rose as the owner and wearer of the boot with Marina Shafir behind her.
NYLA: “Frenemies. We did this as a favor to you. We want you fresh and rested in two weeks. With two skilled combatants like these two beneath me, we couldn’t risk you competing against them and not being at 100% for us come July 29. Because we’ll gladly take you to 0%. Accept our challenge, or we’ll find you.”
Marina pours a carafe of coffee (lukewarm because I’m not a monster and not frou-frou because I need to stay on Fire’s good side) on Brynn and Tara’s faces as Kylie Mignolio and Bridget O’Malley race to find Nyla and Marina, but cannot get to them because officials and security dash in from the other side to keep the teams apart. Bridget can be heard yelling, “Bring it! We accept!” as the feed fades out.
• Lexie Darling and Lindsay McAllister vs. The Electric Company “Electric Avenue” plays Joe and Jamie to the ring to partial jeers, but mainly apathy as the blue-collar rookies enter the ring and stretch on the ropes with “Just a Girl” breaking in and heralding Lindsay McAllister, who walks halfway down the ramp before “Radioactive” plays out the OOWF World Champion, Lexie Darling to wild applause. While Lexie is reluctant to embrace Lindsay, the two nod and rush the ring, taking the fight right to the rookies, making quick work of their opponents in a pre-match brawl, sending both to the outside with dropkicks. With Davis Hightower restoring order, Joe and Lindsay start for their respective teams as the bell rings. Joe’s clothesline is ducked as Lindsay deftly takes Joe to the mat from behind with a sling blade. A front somersault splash gets 2 before Joe slides back to his corner and tags Jamie. Lindsay finds the sledding a bit tougher with the larger of the two, but still holds enough of an advantage to work Jamie to the corner and tag in Lexie. As Lexie tries to not soak in too many cheers, Jamie decks her with a quick jab and escapes the corner. Lexie checks her jaw as Joe tags himself in only to walk into an arm drag, and another, and a third and a … OK, Joe rolled out of the ring before becoming the definition of insanity.
Lexie salutes the fans as Joe kicks at air in frustration. Joe reenters the ring and eats a dropkick and then gets snared in a cradle that gets 2. Lexie continues her lesson on the rookie as Lindsay cheers her on and slaps the turnbuckle to get the crowd in on it, too. Joe rakes Lexie’s eyes and sends her into the enemy corner with Joe and Jamie each getting shots in on the champ. Neither seems interested in Hightower’s enforcement of the rules as Lindsay busts in, only for Hightower to escort her back to her corner. That slow walk gives The Electric Company more time to hammer away on Lexie, with a double suplex getting 2.5 even with Jamie trying to hold the tights. Jamie misses on a knee drop, giving Lexie the opening to tag in Lindsay, who rushes in with right hands for anyone she chooses. As Jamie staggers back, Joe leaps over the top rope only to get a jumping knee to the face. Despite giving up 95 pounds, Lindsay muscles Jamie in position for an Aussie Attack, planting Jamie down before tagging Lexie back in, as she pulls Jamie to the middle of the ring and locks in the Darling Clutch, getting a quick submission while Lindsay cuts off Joe with a dropkick.
Your winners (submission, 7:47), the team of Lindsay McAllister and Lexie Darling!
Afterward, Lexie nods at Lindsay, who returns the gesture before the tandem walks to the back, seemingly more trusting of each other than before.
• Jack Quinn vs. an opponent of Pete Quick’s choosing “Symphony of Destruction” plays and Jack Quinn makes his way to the ring. He gets more of a positive reaction than in recent weeks, but there's still a fair amount of boos. As he circles the ring, he pauses before three people dressed in black, including black veils covering their faces, holding "JUSTICE FOR JUSTIN & ELLIE MAY!" In front of them are framed pictures of Ellie May and Justin with flowers and burning candles.
Russ: “Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of Justin Sane and Ellie May From Elijay …" Razz: “They're not dead …" Russ: “It is nice to see people paying respects to those whose lives have been affected by this madman” Razz: “Russ … That is CLEARLY Angie, Nigel and Liam.” Russ: “I have no reason to believe that.”
Jack finally gets into the ring and "Kingmaker" Pet Quick's music plays. Jack looks irritated as Quick makes his way to the top of the ramp.
JQ: “You gonna answer the challenge this week Quick?” PQ: “Oh no dear boy, I wouldn't sully myself by laying hands on a street urchin such as you.” JQ: “Well, your boy Fatu couldn't get it done last week, so I thought maybe you'd want to give it a try.” PQ: “Ah yes, Mr. Fatu. I did make an unfortunate mistake when I selected him. I thought Mr. Fatu could beat you within an inch of your life and make you quit. And, while I certainly did enjoy the absolute beating you were given, I realized that you are Moosehead Jack, and Moosehead Jack THRIVES on violence! So this week, I decided to make you suffer in a completely different way, Jackie Quinn. Now, I know you fancy yourself as some sort of legitimate wrestler. We know your "match" with Matt Folz was quite legendary … Despite none of us actually SEEING it, and we know you are quite fond of your match against your sister, a match she carried you through. See Jackie, we all see right through you, and this week, I pulled some strings with some friends of mine from New Japan Pro Wrestling. Jackie Quinn, meet your nightmare.”
Jack turns around and Zach Sabre Jr. is in the ring!
Razz: “What the hell is Zach … Oh right, wrestling …”
(JACK QUINN NOTE: OK, full disclosure, I have only seen ZSJ a few times, and my lack of current wrestling watching has me severely limited, so you're getting the recap)
ZSJ beats the hell out of Jack, keeping him on the mat in various submission moves forcing Jack to burn through his rope breaks. ZSJ throws Jack out of the ring and argues with the referee while the "mourners" hop the railing and beat the ever loving piss out of Jack. They set Jack up for a spike piledriver, but PORK and Katie rush to ringside and attack the "mourners" revealing the two biggest to be, surprise surprise, Nigel and Liam. The four fight back to the back, leaving Angie still there. As Jack struggles to beat the count and get back into the ring, Angie hits him with a low blow, then a power bomb off the apron onto the floor! The referee starts the twenty count.
Razz: “If Jack gets counted out he loses! He loses the Moosehead Jack name!” Russ: “My only regret is that it is a twenty count instead of a ten.”
The referee gets to fifteen and Jack grabs the bottom rope and tries to climb in, Angie attacks again, but as she charges at Jack, he catches her, lifts her and hits a GTSF on the floor! Angie is OUT! Jack slides under the bottom rope JUST before the twenty, and ZSJ proceeds to punish him even further.
Out of rope breaks, Jack has had to use his three referee warnings to escape various submissions.
Razz: “Jack’s got nothing left! Nothing can save him at this point!” Russ: “GOOD!”
ZSJ puts Jack throat first on the middle rope, then distracts the referee, a recovered Angie grabs a chair and SLAMS it across Jack's face. Jack slumps to the mat, blood pouring off his head. ZSJ pulls Jack to the middle of the ring and puts him in a triangle choke. Quick rushes to ringside as Jack fights with everything to escape. Quick is almost orgasmic with joy as Jack slowly fades. Jack continues to fight, but the loss of blood and the absolute beating he has taken has been too much. The referee checks Jack's arm, it falls once, twice … Quick is breathlessly waiting for it to drop a third time when the crowd pops.
Razz: “What the hell is this?”
Awesome Bill From Dawsonville walks to the ring, steps between the ropes holding ZSJ's NJPW television title, which causes ZSJ to immediately break the hold and get to his feet. Bill and ZSJ go nose to nose as Jack struggles to his feet behind them. On the outside, Quick is screaming at Bill telling him to get out of the ring! Bill looks at the title, then hands it to ZSJ, then turns and MURDERS Jack with a CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! The referee turns and IMMEDIATELY calls for the disqualification.
KQ: “NO! NO! I SAID ONLY JACK HAS TO FOLLOW ONSLAUGHT RULES!” Ref: “That's a disqualification under ANY rules, this wasn't a No Holds Barred match!”
Bill turns and smirks at Quick and points a finger at him
ABFD: “Son, I don't trustify you neither.”
Bill leaves the ring as the referee makes the announcement
WINNER by disqualification in 37:44 - Jack Quinn!
ZSJ puts the boots to Jack, joined by Angie until PORK and Katie make their return carrying kendo sticks to chase them away. They help Jack to his feet and help him to the back
• Steel cage match: Mac Flasher vs. Nuke “Hate Breeders” plays with Nuke and Adam Jennings walking to the ring. Nuke’s normal sneer is replaced with an expression of discomfort as he slowly walks to the ring with a little bit of a stumble. Before Nuke enters the cage, Adam pulls a microphone from his jacket to address the crowd.
Adam: “While my son is battling a fever of 102 degrees and is unable to keep any sort of fluids or solids down, he has shown up tonight because he is everything that Mac Flasher once claimed to be. Nuke is a battler. Nuke is a warrior. Nuke is going to be here when his name is on the card because he honors his commitments. Above all else, Nuke knows that is he beats Mac Flasher while suffering from flu-like symptoms, his star will rocket straight to the top of this company. So Mac, get on out here. Put on some act about not wanting to fight Nuke in his condition and pretending to care about his well-being so that he can end this charade that you’ve been on since OOWF relaunched.”
Nuke slowly climbs into the ring through the open cage door as “I Get Wet” plays out Mac Flasher. Mac stands outside the ring and jaws with Adam, who gets nose to nose with him, as Annie runs down the ramp and attempts to attack Mac from behind only to get drilled by Sandra Fallon, who managed to chase her down. As Annie and Sandra fight, Mac heads to the ring and shuts the door himself with Mel Creech inside the ring.
Russ: “Just for our newer fans, these cage matches are finished by pinfall or submission. Escaping means nothing other than cowardice, unlike other companies.” Razz: “Mac wanted this to keep things between two men, Nuke and Mac Flasher. He was given this match, and it’s unfortunate that Nuke is so ill. This would have been a highlight match for him!”
Creech signals for the bell with Mac stalking Nuke as he tries to stay outside of reach. Nuke, either a quick healer or forgetful of his illness, scales the side of the cage in near record time, even with Mac grabbing a leg. Mac lets him sit on top of the cage wall, inviting him down. Nuke stays put until Mac gestures that he’d climb the cage. Nuke returns to the mat and jabs Mac in the throat, gaining a short advantage before Mac breaks an attempted choke and boots Nuke down with ease. Nuke protests to Creech about Mac’s use of kicks, but Creech is not listening. Mac grabs Nuke and hits a German suplex before running Nuke into the cage. Mac then gives Nuke the cheese-grater treatment to bust him open before Nuke connects with a mule kick below the belt. Mac has the resolve to stay on Nuke after a quick fall, elbowing him down, but a missed lariat gives Nuke the opening to forge ahead with punches and forearms. Mac turns the tide with a back body drop, but Nuke scrambles up and kicks Mac low again before dropping a knee for 2. Nuke hotshots Mac into the cage, getting 2 off of that. Nuke then returns the favor of running Mac’s face across the cage to open a cut on his forehead. Nuke slugs away, having completely dropped the flu-like symptoms act at this point. Mac tries to fight back, but swings wildly and cannot connect, allowing Nuke to maintain the advantage with chokes and questionable holds, all legal however as Creech is only here to count pins or ask for submissions.
Nuke chokes Mac on the ropes before Mac elbows his way to freedom and throws Nuke into the side of the cage. Nuke returns volley with elbows, but misses a middle-rope elbow drop, giving Mac a chance to work on Nuke’s knees. Mac then boxes a wobbly Nuke down, picking him up only to unload more punches.
Russ: “Have we ever seen Mac Flasher this aggressive? Nuke has made this personal.” Razz: “Mac would take advantage of an opponent with a temperature of 102 degrees just to get a cheap win.”
Nuke gets enough of an opening to sneak a kidney punch to Mac, practically paralyzing him for a second as he falls in a heap. Nuke climbs the ropes, but misses a flying elbow drop as Mac stand up and stomps Nuke low with his legs held in a wishbone. Adam bangs on the door to protest, but Creech pays him no mind. Meanwhile, the Sandra-Annie brawl makes its way back to ringside as Annie drills Sandra with the timekeeper’s hammer. Annie then slides the hammer through the cage to Nuke, who loads it up in his fist and misses as Mac ducks and shoots a double-leg takedown with a barrage of punches from the mounted position until Nuke drops the hammer that Mac spots almost immediately. Mac reaches for the hammer and gets raked in the eyes, allowing Nuke to regain the object. Nuke connects with a hammer-aided punch this time, knocking Mac cold as Annie has climbed into the ring with Sandra still woozy. Nuke rolls over for the pin, but his focus is on the outside of the ring as a shadowy figure is standing behind Adam. The camera zooms in to reveal Darby Allin, who decks Adam and then nods up to the ceiling as another shadowy figure repels from the rafters.
Russ: “Is Darby here to help or hurt Mac?” Razz: “I’m not sure, either is …” Tony Schiavone: “IT’S STIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGG!” Russ: “Get out of here, this isn’t your show!”
As Russ shoves Tony away from the announce table, Sting repels into the ring and points his bat at Annie, who is seemingly petrified. Mac, now on his feet, grabs Nuke from behind and delivers a picture-perfect Scorpion Death Drop to Nuke. Sting glares at Creech, who doesn’t know what to make of anything, except for the 3 count to end the match.
Your winner, (pinfall, 11:06), Mac Flasher!
Darby helps Sandra to her feet as Mike Elevenbee opens the cage door. Sting nods at Mac as Darby and Sandra enter. With Sandra standing beside Mac and Sting alongside Darby, all four shake hands and hug as the feed cuts away.
OOWF Saturday Slam – July 1, 2023 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• Lindsay McAllister vs. Ona Jones “Just a Girl” strums out on the PA as Lindsay steps out to a loud ovation. The energized Australian bounds to the ring, already with Ona inside. The retro-inspired rookie stretches with the top rope as Lindsay enters. OOWF official Angelo Barros inspects both wrestlers for foreign objects, finding a set of brass knuckles in Ona’s kneepad. Despite Ona’s protests, Barros discards the illegal object and signals for the bell. Ona charges, but is easily sidestepped by Lindsay, who delivers a German suplex and then quickly scales the ropes to hit a just-standing Ona with a springboard back elbow. That gets 2 as Ona tries to jerk Lindsay down by her hair. Lindsay stands her ground, waving her index finger back and forth before delivering a chop just below Ona’s throat, freeing Lindsay’s hair and sending the rookie backwards. Lindsay stays on the attack, delivering a few more chops to Ona in the corner before hitting a running bulldog.
Razz: “Lindsay McAllister is looking great! I’m not sure I get this new attitude of hers, but at least for tonight she is showing that she hasn’t lost a step!” Russ: “Ona Jones is a capable rookie, no doubt, but if this is still the same Lindsay that we all remember, this is a light workout.”
Ona staggers to her feet before getting scooped up by Lindsay. Ona rakes Lindsay’s eyes, escaping a presumed Aussie Attack, and clips her knee for good measure. With Lindsay writhing on the mat, Ona locks on a stepover toehold, torquing the tender knee and almost getting a surprise submission before Lindsay is able to use her free leg to boot Ona away. Lindsay pops up, favoring her knee just a bit as Ona is able to snap Lindsay to the ground by her hair and cinch in a headlock while Barros chides Ona for using the hair to gain an advantage. Lindsay is able o wrestle her way to the advantage, grappling Ona into a small package that gets 2. Ona is first to her feet, but Lindsay shoots a double-leg takedown and flips over Ona into a pinning position that gets 2. As the two get up almost at the same time, Ona tries for the eyes again, only for Lindsay to block and nail a booming standing headbutt that knocks Ona loopy. Lindsay is able to connect on an Aussie Attack this time with zero resistance. The decision is academic, but Barros still counts 3.
Your winner (pinfall, 5:55), Lindsay McAllister!
Afterward, Matt Folz emerges from the back to congratulate Lindsay as her wife Jennifer Bristow joins the party with Lindsay also receiving adoration from the fans in OOWF Arena.
• Alexander Darling vs. Jeff Mangyuniku “King of the World” heralds the arrival of Alexander Darling, who cannot be bothered to acknowledge the fan response to his presence. As Alexander rolls under the bottom rope and then takes a seat on the top turnbuckle, “King of the Clouds” brings out Jeff Mangyuniku, who quickly makes his way to the ring, taking off his ring jacket before entering between the ropes. With Davis Hightower as the arbiter, the bell rings with Jeff trying to feel out Alexander, staying just out of reach, but tossing a few open-handed jabs that almost connect with Alexander’s chin. Jeff jabs in again, but gets caught and arm-dragged to the mat. Jeff gets up since Alexander doesn’t follow through. The two lock up with Jeff backing Alexander to a corner. Hightower requests a clean break and gets it from Jeff, but not Alexander who drills Jeff with a right cross. Hightower admonishes Alexander, who doesn’t seem all that concerned. An infuriated Jeff nails the distracted Alexander with a flying forearm that sends him out of the ring. Jeff follows as the two engage in a ringside brawl that gets Hightower’s count to 8 before Jeff rolls in and rolls back out to continue the fight. Alexander takes that brief breather to load something in his fist and blast Jeff in the throat with whatever was in his hand. Jeff now coughing for air tries to climb back into the ring, but is cut off by Alexander who pulls him down face first onto the apron. Alexander does get in the ring, however, and flips off a few very vocal ringside fans while waiting for Jeff. As Jeff slowly gets to his feet on the apron, Alexander grabs him by the head, spins him around and cinches in a dragon sleeper with Jeff’s back arching over the top rope. With Jeff quickly fading, Hightower begins a count to 5 that Alexander never even acknowledges. Hightower calls for the bell and then tries to break up the hold that Alexander isn’t interested in releasing any time soon.
Your winner (disqualification, 4:39), Jeff Mangyuniku!
Afterward, Alexander does release the hold leaving Jeff in a heap on the apron before he slowly falls to the floor. As Alexander shrugs and walks to the back, not even arguing with Hightower, AEW tag team The Young Bucks hop over the railing and attack Jeff again, hitting a series of tandem attacks before capping with a BTE Trigger that busts Jeff’s lip open. Matt and Nick then hop over the railing to avoid encountering OOWF Security with the feed showing that a bloodied Jeff is barely conscious on the ringside mats.
Russ: “What in the world did Jeff do to get attacked twice in two shows by The Young Bucks?” Razz: “I think we need to ask about what Jeff has to do to avoid these attacks? There are two of the Bucks and only one of him. No matter how gifted Jeff is, that’s not helping him with those two.”
• The Frenemies vs. Nuke and Annie “Hate Breeders” bellows through the arena as Nuke and Annie, who is sporting a cast on her right arm, walk to the ring. With the two in the ring, Nuke grabs the microphone from Mike Elevenbee as most in the crowd do not like that act.
Nuke: “Because the GM going through an identity crisis as to whether or not she’s a wrestler insists on booking Annie in matches, Annie was injured during training this week with a broken arm that will take an indefinite amount of time to heal. That means that Annie will be unable to compete in tonight’s match. Now I know that you’re thinking that will mean that I’ll be fighting both of The Frenemies by myself, but that’s not how we’ll do things tonight. This is now a singles match. I don’t care who. Bridget. Kylie. Make it Josie. I don’t care. Make a decision and make it fast.”
Babymetal’s “Catch Me if You Can” draws out Josie, with a microphone in hand and no Frenemy is in sight.
Josie: “Mr. Nuke. Ms. Annie. After talking with Titi Beverly in the back, we will not accept your challenge as you presented it.” Nuke: “What gives you the right to decide? You’re an 11-year-old girl.” Josie: “I am THE MANAGER of The Frenemies. What I say goes. Does Annie have a doctor’s excuse?” Nuke *pointing to Annie’s arm*: “Her excuse is that it’s broken! She has seen medical professionals. If this company’s GM would do her job instead of chasing past glories, the esteemed manager of The Frenemies would have been notified of this.” Josie: “No doctor’s excuse. No changes.”
Nuke drops his mic and backs Josie in a corner. While Josie is presenting a brave face, Nuke’s intimidation tactics seem to be working until Bridget and Kylie sprint down the ramp and into the ring to take the fight to Nuke. After about two minutes of a 2-on-1 attack, Annie gets involved swinging her cast wildly until the velcro loosens to reveal a perfectly functional arm with zero signs of damage. Annie sees the cast on the mat and scrambles to pick it up before Kylie steps on Annie’s hand. Nuke shoves Kylie, while Bridget picks up the cast and pulls out a metal plate from under the first layer of the plaster.
Razz: “That plate was to help Annie’s arm reset after that horrible injury. Why do The Frenemies hate medical science?” Russ: “Annie’s arm looks perfectly fine to me.” Razz: “Clearly a medical miracle thanks to that plate!”
After about another minute, Nuke and Annie take the high road while Gavin “Junior” Hale signals for the bell and counts the pair out.
Your winners (countout, :10), The Frenemies!
Afterward, Adam Jennings sneaks into the ring and starts to squabble with Bridget and Kylie. With The Frenemies distracted, Nuke and Annie return with a sneak attack aided by the discarded cast and metal plate. Nuke hits Give ‘Em the Boot to both Bridget and Kylie, in opposite corners while Annie bites and chokes whomever she chooses, all as Josie is screaming for help as Adam taunts her. Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon hear the call as Sandra drills Adam with a kick to the jaw as Mac turns Nuke around and waylays him with a series of punches and a backfist strong enough to send Nuke through the ropes. Bridget and Kylie dispose of Annie while Adam rolls away and seeks out his charges.
• Beverly Cambridge vs. Diego “Pop” Roxton The feed joins this match as the bell echoes through the arena. Diego offers a handshake that Beverly accepts. Diego then starts a clapping rhythm to get his fans behind him as Beverly’s fans chant in tune to the clapping. Dueling “let’s go” chants follow as the two lock up to no clear advantage leading to a break. Diego offers a test of strength that the lithe Beverly accepts, despite giving up at least 75 pounds to the Bahamian strike artist. Diego gets the early edge in the finger lock, but Beverly surprisingly powers her way back up and then pulls the test to the ropes where she climbs to the top, and breaks the finger lock before snapping off a hurricanrana that puts Diego flat on his back. Beverly leans in, only for a possum-playing Diego to cradle her in a small package the gets 2. With Beverly scrambling to her feet, Diego meets her with a crescent kicks that almost turns the lights out. With Beverly on one knee, Diego approaches from behind only for Beverly to sit out and lock Diego in a Peterson Roll that gets 2.5.
Russ: “These two have quite the match going on, both almost getting quick victories from out of nowhere.” Razz: “Partner, Beverly is one of the best at dropping the curtain early if she has the opening. Diego, at least tonight, seems to be going step for step.”
As both stand up, Diego misses a clothesline that Beverly catches behind her. After stepping Diego’s legs down, Beverly slides over his shoulders and pulls him back into a crucifix pin, getting a sudden 3 from Misato Misawa.
Your winner (pinfall, 4:46), Beverly Cambridge!
Afterward, Diego pounds the mat in frustration, but is quick offer a handshake to Beverly, who graciously accepts.
• Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon vs. The One-Notes With Carrie and Harper standing in the ring, and serenading those who can tolerate it with their version of “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star, “Surf Wax America” interrupts with Sandra Fallon stating at the top of the ramp, waiting on her tag partner as “I Get Wet” fades in with Mac Flasher, reluctantly sporting the wetsuit that Sandra gave him, but still sporting his traditional jeans and Converse All-Stars. Mac and Sandra high-five and head to the ring, taking the fight to The One-Notes, hammering away with stereo right hands followed by Sandra unleashing dropkicks on both Carrie and Harper. With The One-Notes scuttling to the outside, Mac takes to the skies with a tope con hilo that splatters both Carrie and Harper on the barricade. As Carrie starts to come to and make her way to the apron, Sandra nails a sliding dropkick that bounces Carrie into Harper, sending both to the barricade again. Somewhere in the chaos, Mel Creech signaled for the bell. Harper gets back int the ring, absorbing Sandra’s try at a shoulder block, but completely vulnerable to a backfist from Mac that sends her reeling. Sandra stays in for her team and gives Harper zero chance to collect herself, snapping off a knee lift and then putting her in a rolling surfboard submission for three rotations before pulling Harper’s head down into a rear choke.
Carrie tries to make the save, but Mac cuts her off as Harper taps just before going unconscious.
Your winners (submission, 3:19), the team of Sandra Fallon and Mac Flasher!
Russ: “Sandra calls that the California Roll! Is this part of the ‘Malibrutality’ that she promised two weeks ago?” Razz: “Whatever she calls it, it’s damn effective! Mac Flasher might have found a diamond in the rough with this happy-go-lucky girl.” Russ: “She’s far from that in the ring, as we just saw … Wait. What are they doing here?”
Nuke and Annie run to the ring and blast both Mac and Sandra with chain-aided punches. Adam Jennings heads down, too, making sure to help Annie keep Mac occupied as Nuke focuses his attack on Sandra. Adam, with the help of a folding baton in his pocket, knocks Mac silly and then turns the dazed Mac so that he can see Nuke’s assault on Sandra. Nuke pulls a microphone from his pocket as Sandra can barely move, falling at each attempt to get get off the mat.
Nuke: “Flasher. You don’t get it. I’m not finished with you. Send your ex and her friend to fight your battles while you bond with some new flavor of the month, I don’t care. Just know this: Everything you touch, I will break. Everything you care about, I will ruin. You may win battles on Saturdays, I plan on winning wars.”
Nuke spikes the microphone, puts the chain on his boot and nails Sandra with Give ‘Em the Boot, knocking the Californian out cold and sprawled on her back. Adam releases Mac after Nuke exits the ring, prompting Mac to check on Sandra in a panic while waving for help from the back.
• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Awesome Bill From Dawsonville (c) vs. Sean Franklin vs. Zed Awesome Bill takes the early advantage, guns blazing with lariats and suplexes against Zed and Sean. Awesome Bill goes on the Redneck Rampage against Zed, but just as he’s about to start stomping a mud hole in Zed, Sean scurries in from behind and stops Bill in his tracks with a German Suplex.
Russ: “We know Zed and Sean had nothing to do with what has happened to Justin Sane and Ellie May …” Razz: “ … I mean, we don’t *know* that.” Russ: “Regardless, it appears Awesome Bill from Dawsonville is going to take out his frustrations on anything that moves.”
Bill rolls out of the ring and convenes with Pete Quick while Zed and Sean trade blows. Zed turns up the pace, to the surprise and excitement of the audience, eventually dropping Sean with a sling blade and going to the top rope. He flies off the turnbuckle with an elbow drop, then locks on a Figure Four to the delight of the Asheville crowd, but Bill re-enters the ring to intervene.
Bill once again takes full control, as Zed goes tumbling to ringside after a massive suplex. As BRICK~! checks in on his client, Sean tries to regain his footing, he is shot into the ropes and takes a boot to the face on the way back.
Sean rolls out of the ring, and Zed pulls him aside as they stand near the barricade. Bill beckons them to get in the ring, but Zed whispers in Sean’s ear. Sean offers a nod, seemingly acknowledging what Zed is saying, and then they rush the ring together, swinging away on Bill.
After the double-team, they work together to suplex Bill. They stand Bill back up, and Sean hits another suplex for good measure before Zed collects him and hits Moment of Zed.
Russ: “Great, so they’ve worked together to slow down Bill. Now what?” Razz: “They just became the dogs that caught the car, I think, Russ!”
They can’t help but share a smirk before rushing towards each other, firing off punches. Sean starts to back up Zed against the ropes, but Zed lands an elbow to buy some space and then flattens Sean with a DDT. Bill is getting back to his feet at this point, but Zed spots it and drops him with Raise Up.
Zed looks around, sees both men down, and gestures to the crowd. Back he goes to the top rope, and this time it’s clear he’s looking for The Answer on the downed Awesome Bill. However, a woozy Sean is using the ropes for leverage to get back to his feet and unknowingly upsets Zed’s balance. Zed spills to ringside, landing awkwardly on BRICK~!.
Sean sees this unfold out of the corner of his eye and scrambles to the ropes, looking on in shock. BRICK~! starts yelling at Sean, who pleads for his innocence and asks if Zed’s alright. While the conversation is unfolding, Bill rolls up Sean, one, two, THREE!
Your winner (14:36; pinfall), and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville!
Awesome Bill and Pete Quick make a hasty retreat up the ramp while celebrating the win, while Zed gets back to his feet and tries to make peace between BRICK~! and Sean. BRICK~! is not interested in any such peace, but Zed offers a pat on the shoulder to Sean as they part ways, who shakes his head in disgust with himself.
The feed cuts to the OOWF Junior Executive Office where Interim GM Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox is tending to his younger brother Jeff Mangyuniku. The door swings open to show Mac Flasher, with a barely conscious Sandra Fallon leaning on his shoulder, in the doorway.
Shizuru-Mune: “Mac, I’m pretty busy right now. I’ve got my brother bleeding all over this carpet.” Mac: “Nuke. Cage. Make. It. Happen. Next. Show.” Shizuru-Mune: “Mac. I will take it under consideration.” Mac: “Nuke. Cage. Make. It. Happen. Next. Show.” Shizuru-Mune: “Yes. You already established that.” Mac: “I will end him.” Shizuru-Mune: “That’s nice. Thank you, Mac. Just leave if you aren’t going to help with Jeff.”
Mac departs, but not before slamming the door and causing Jeff to wince.
• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Rory Thomas “Dream On” by Aerosmith plays with Rory stepping out onto the ramp and egging a louder response from those in attendance. With Rory seemingly validated by the reaction, he strides with a bounce toward the ring, glad-handing the fans along the rails. Just as he’s about to turn toward the ringside stairs, a figure in a black hooded sweatshirt reaches out and grabs his shoulder. Before Rory can fully turn around, the figure coldcocks the rookie, hops over the rail and starts a post-heavy beatdown. With Rory now busted open, the figure doffs the hood to reveal Alexander Darling, much to the chagrin of everyone.
Russ: “Damn it, Alexander! That kid was going to have the biggest match of his life and you just ruined it!” Razz: “Alex never acts without a plan and he’ll never have a plan without proudly sharing it. I think we’ll need to listen to him if he chooses to speak here.”
Alexander isn’t much for talking, however, continuing his assault with a chair to the side of Rory’s face. A few preliminary wrestlers spill out from the back with OOWF officials and Lexie Darling following the initial wave. Finally, Alexander is pulled off of the helpless Rory with Lexie getting a shove in on her brother with a lot of yelling that Alexander casually ignores. As officials tend to Rory, the wrestlers form a wall to prevent a further attack from Alexander who slowly backs to the top of the ramp and pulls a microphone from the pouch of his sweatshirt.
Alexander: “Rory. That championship that you thought you were going to compete for tonight has a legacy that maybe you don’t understand. Some of the all-time greats in this sport held that title. Far more all-time greats never even got close. Two weeks ago you just decided to show up and ask my sister for an opportunity to make a name at the expense of a Darling. What have you done in this company to even share the same oxygen as a Darling? Five times, I battled some of the best to ever lace a pair of boots and five times, I proved that I was THE best to do it in that ring. Are you aware that Lexie defeated ME for that championship, already validating her as one of the all-time best. Don’t get me wrong, Lexie has autonomy to accept whatever challenges come her way, but I will not stand by and watch her dull the shine of that championship by facing those who we all know are unworthy of even having their name beside a Darling’s name on the match sheet. That championship is THE legacy of The Darling Brand. All can apply, few will be accepted as worthy contenders.”
Alexander tosses the microphone over his shoulder as Lexie has more than a few cross words for her brother, who departs without paying her any mind.
• Eight-person tag: The Royal Guard, Angie Delpetro and “King” Pete Quick vs. The Woodsmen and Shokan Dojo (PORK and Katie Bardoor) Six of the eight combatants are in the ring as The Woodsmen are noticeably absent, leaving Katie and PORK in a 4-on-2 situation. As PORK keeps looking toward the entranceway, Katie urges Davis Hightower to ring the bell anyway. He does, but before any action can commence, Pete drops out of the ring and heads to the announce table, leaving Angie, Liam and Nigel to fight Katie and PORK.
Russ: “Oh God, why are you here?” Pete: “Look. For those two oafs, any two of us would run rings around them. I’m just trying to help Jackie Quinn’s buddies out. It’s clear that those overgrown Boy Scouts got the hint from two weeks ago and no-showed this match. Maybe those two grew brains and are getting themselves far away from Jackie and his brand of evil.” Russ: “The Woodsmen are two of the bravest, loyal and most cunning wrestlers in OOWF. To imply that they are cowards is silly.” Pete: “Are Hunter and Dakota here now? Exactly.”
Katie doesn’t wait for her opponents to cross who goes first, grabbing Angie and unloading with at least a dozen body shots that has Angie coughing in the corner until Nigel steps in between the two. Katie and Nigel slug it out while PORK dashes in to cut off Liam. Angie shakes the cobwebs and rakes PORK’s eyes, giving Liam the advantage as he scoops the big man in the air with ease and tosses him into Katie, squashing her in the corner. With no regard for Hightower’s attempts to keep order, Nigel, Liam and Angie stay on the offensive.
Pete: “Guys. I’d love to stay and offer expert insight, but my team is clearly in trouble. I gotta go.”
Pete tosses off his headset and rolls into the ring, stepping on PORK’s throat while The Royal Guard hoist Katie overhead and drop her face first onto the mat. Angie loads up the chloroform rag when “I’m The Mountie” plays, leading to the most confused pop in ages, but also producing The Woodsmen who have eschewed their traditional camping garb to something closer in appearance to the uniform of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Hunter and Dakota also have cattle prods in tow as they run to the ring to even the odds as Pete immediately calls his group to its corner while Hunter and Dakota join PORK and Katie in the standoff.
Russ: “Did Hunter and Dakota finally find Jacques Rougeau?” Razz: “If they didn’t find Jacques, they found his prop closet.”
As all eight combatants stand off, Hunter and Dakota establish distance with the cattle prods, but aren’t too eager to use them. Katie, on the other hand, would love to as she grabs the shock stick from Dakota and drills Angie and Liam with the blunt end of it before trying to electrocute Pete. Nigel dives in front of Pete and takes the voltage as Hightower has seen enough.
Your winners (disqualification, 10:07), the team of The Royal Guard, Angie Delpetro and “King” Pete Quick.
Afterward, the brawl seems to have zero end in sight with neither side gaining much ground, even with the cattle prods in play. Eventually Pete calls off his side as they depart, leaving an unsatisfying end to the fisticuffs, though it does lead to a very frustrated Katie getting into a shouting match with Hunter over The Woodsmen’s tardiness and lack of seriousness. PORK and Dakota rush in to play peacemaker, but the two with the cattle prods just aren’t seeing eye to eye at the moment.
• Jack Quinn vs. an opponent of Pete Quick’s choosing "Symphony of Destruction" plays and Jack Quinn makes his way to the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd. We see several "Justice for Justin" and "Prayers For Ellie May" signs. Jack gets into the ring and paces like a man possessed. The bell rings, but instead of an opponent, Quick's music plays and he and Angie come out to the top of the ramp, flanked by Mr. Nigel and Mr. Liam.
Pete: “Jackie Quinn, your day of reckoning is here. I will give you ONE LAST CHANCE to do this the easy way. You surrender all rights to Moosehead Jack and leave MY ring right now, and I will allow you to pass, unharmed, so you can live out your life in retirement on your porch in whatever backwater town you choose to live in. However, if you choose to do this the hard way......well, let's just say, if I were a betting man, I most certainly would not bet on you.”
Jack stands defiantly in the middle of the ring and flips Quick the double bird.
Pete: “Such a pity. Mr. Quinn, allow me to introduce you to your opponent …”
Jack turns around and a large man CRUSHES his skull with a chair! Jack crumples to the mat, possibly out cold.
Russ: “THAT'S JACOB FATU!” Razz: “WHAT THE HELL IS JACOB FATU DOING IN THE OOWF ARENA RUSS?”
The referee immediately turns and calls for the bell - after all this match is under Onslaught rules.
Pete: “Ah ah ah … Referee, I don't think you will want to do that. You see, it is no surprise that our ‘illustrious’ GM failed to read the fine print in the contract. You see, Mr. QUINN is to contest this match under Onslaught rules, Mr. Fatu is under no such constraints. Mr. Referee … you may proceed.”
Fatu pulls Jack to his feet and superkicks him in the throat. The move sends Jack stumbling back into the corner where he falls to the mat, Fatu charges into the corner and hits Jack with a hip attack to the face, then drags him to the middle of the ring and climbs the corner and hits a diving headbutt. Fatu covers, but Jack kicks out at two.
Russ: “How the HELL did he kick out of that?” Razz: “I have never seen a chair shot that hard in my life Russ, makes the shot JBL took from Meanie look like a love tap!” Russ: “You have to respect the toughness of Jack Quinn, even though he completely lacks any morals or sense of right or wrong!”
Fatu pulls Jack up and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a pop up Samoan drop, then lifts him again and traps his arms and repeatedly slams him in the face with headbutts. Jack slumps to his knees and Fatu charges off the ropes and annihilates him with a shining wizard. Fatu covers again, but Jack gets his foot on the bottom rope just before the three count.
Jack Quinn has used his first rope break
Fatu pulls Jack up and launches him over the top rope to the floor. As Jack tries to get to his feet, Jacob pulls a table from under the ring and lays it on the guardrail. Fatu pulls Jack to his feet and whips him toward the table, but Jack somehow runs up the table, and drops to the floor in the crowd, as Fatu gives chase, Jack pulls down on the table, causing the other end to go up and clip Fatu on the jaw! Jacob staggers in pain, Jack jumps onto the guardrail and leaps at Fatu dropping him to the floor and raining punches down on him. Jack notices the referee is almost at twenty so he rolls in and breaks the count, then goes back out and pulls Fatu up onto the apron, lifts him onto his shoulders and hits a GTS. Fatu takes the move and holds onto the ropes, teetering just above the table that remains propped against the guardrail, but Jack kicks him in the gut, and DROPS him with a DDT on the apron! Fatu's head bounces off the apron and he falls to the floor.
Razz: “The apron is the hardest part of the ring!” Russ: “I think that would be the post …” Razz: “IT'S THE APRON!”
Jack rolls Fatu into the ring and covers but Fatu kicks out at two. Jack pulls Fatu to his feet and peppers him with sforearms to the side of the head, then grabs him and hits a t-bone suplex that sends Fatu crashing into the corner. Jack grabs Fatu's arms and puts his face against the bottom turnbuckle and hits REPEATED CURBSTOMPS into the turnbuckle! The referee finally forces a break and gives Jack a warning
Jack Quinn has used his first referee warning
Jack pulls Fatu to the center of the ring and covers, but once again Fatu kicks out at two. Jack pulls Fatu up and lifts him for a suplex, but Fatu slips over his shoulder, lands on his feet, spins Jack around and hits the ASIATIC SPIKE! Jack drops like he's been shot, Fatu does a standing moonsault on Jack and covers, but once again, Jack somehow gets his foot on the bottom rope just before three!
Jack Quinn has used his second rope break
Fatu pulls Jack up and shoves him into the corner. Jack is bleeding profusely from the chair shot and is quickly losing strength. Fatu charges in and hits a splash and Jack takes a few steps and falls face first onto the mat. We see Quick look very pleased, he tells Fatu "FINISH HIM!" Fatu pulls Jack to his feet and hits a FATU DRIVER (Steiner Screwdriver> then goes to the top rope and tries a big splash, but MISSES!
Jack fires up and gets to his feet and connects with a Randy Orton punt to the side of Fatu's head. Jack whips Fatu into the corner and flies in and connects with a high knee to the face, then pulls a dazed Fatu from the corner and DRIVES him to the mat with a backdrop driver!
Russ: “It seems like SOMETHING has lit a fire under Jack Quinn's ass!” Razz: “This is a man possessed!”
Jack moves back to the corner and stares at Quick and waits for Fatu to get to his feet, as he does Jack KILLS him with a Buisaku knee! Jack follows that with a TIGER DRIVER, and immediately locks Fatu in the ji-endo all while glaring at Quick! Jack cinches the move in as hard as he can, Fatu tries to get to the ropes but he cannot. Fatu goes limp, the referee checks his arm, it drops three times and he calls for the bell!
Your winner (pinfall, 17:39), Jack Quinn!
Jack breaks the hold and throws Fatu out of the ring to the floor. Quick makes a motion to Mr. Nigel and Mr. Liam and they go to ringside and help Fatu to his feet and to the back. The whole time Jack is standing on the middle turnbuckle glaring at Quick holding up one finger "that's one you son of a bitch!" Quick snarls and he and Angie head to the back as Mr. Liam, Mr. Nigel and Jacob Fatu pass by.
Russ: “Another great episode of ‘Saturday Slam’ is in the books! Tune in two weeks from tonight for another action-packed card on OOWF.tv, free for only $6.66 per month. For Razz, I’m Russ … Wait a minute. This wasn’t on the match sheet. It’s Brynn, from The Battling Baristas.”
• Unplanned bonus match: Brynn vs. ????? One half of the Battling Baristas, Brynn, enters the arena and comes down the ramp for a surprise introduction match. She poses around the ring and waits … and waits ... and waits. Hands on her hips, she shakes her head and pantomimes her disbelief that she'd be treated this way.
Suddenly the lights dim, and a familiar guitar riff starts. As The Cult's full band kicks in, Firewoman appears amid the flame pots. Less energetic than usual, and totally focused on her first live match in several years, she comes down the ramp and enters the ring. Jack Quinn appears at the corner from elsewhere in the ring. Brynn nods her head with confidence. Angelo Barros gives the directions and calls for the bell.
Fire seems a little hesitant at first, so Brynn initiates the opening lock up. General back and forths and reversals and such. Brynn's offense has Fire a bit on her toes as she's getting her feet under her, and the ring rust may be showing a bit. Brynn trips Fire up and rolls her into a small package but Fire kicks out. Before she can recover, Brynn grabs an arm and applies the stretch, occasionally elbowing Fire into her ribs. Those are PROBABLY healed up by now, but who knows? Brynn twists Fire's arm the other way, but makes the rookie mistake of not controlling the rest of the body. Fire is able to flip over and back and loosens Brynn's grip enough that Fire pulls away. Brynn is trying to get to her feet but Fire is having none of that and knocks her back with a quick kick to the side of the head. Fire runs the ropes and goes for a Firesault, but Brynn rolls away. Fortunately Fire sees it just in time and lands on her feet. Brynn grabs an arm and whips Fire into the corner … or tries to at least. Fire reverses it, and Brynn eats a big boot as she rebounds from the corner. She turns to recover, but Fire is on...well, on fire now. She points to the sky and gets Brynn with a Really Good Davin Cutter. Jack is shouting for the pin, but Fire decides against it or just doesn't hear him. She gets Brynn's arms behind her back, and NOW looks around to the crowd that is on its feet. She waits … And then FIRESTOMP! Brynn's head bounces off the mat and NOW Fire goes for the pin. One, two. THREE!!
Your winner (pinfall, 4:57), Firewoman!
Jack rolls in and grabs Fire's arm to raise it, but Fire pulls away and grabs the microphone.
Firewoman: “You know, if Simone Biles can go ahead and try for another Olympic run, I can certainly come out of retirement to kick some AEW ass.”
Cheers from the crowd and from Jack.
Firewoman: “Now, I am looking forward to the next few weeks of training and tune up matches, but as far as my ex-fiance goes, and I KNOW you're watching Chris ... I am MORE than happy to meet you in the ring and show YOU what I've learned WITHOUT you. And this time it's you and me. No brother, no friend, no lover to wrestle in my place....ME~! You may think you're ready...but you're not. And that totally sparkles with me. So what do you say, Chris? Let's dance.”
Fire drops the microphone and she and Jack head to the back to close the show for real.
Razz: “What an amazing show. For Russ, I'm Razz. Thank you all for joining us, we'll see you all in two weeks.”
Just before we fade out, "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" plays. Matt Folz makes his way to the ring in his gear, holding his son in his hands and his wife beside him.
Russ: “Well we might not be done yet. There were rumors that Matt might have a match planned for tonight, maybe this is it.”
Matt shows his son around the ring and we see him saying, "This is where Daddy used to work." He then hands his son to his wife, grabs a microphone and smiles.
Matt: “Ladies and Gentlemen this is a 30-minute six-person Ironperson Match.”
Matt: “Introducing the captain of team number one. Accompanied by his wife Jaime and his son Kenneth Laverne Folz. One of only two wrestlers in the history of this company to win 3 Grand Slams. The ONLY wrestler in the history of this company to win the Invitational twice. One half of the longest reigning Tag Team Champions in OOWF History. Standing 6'5 and weighing...well, I've been enjoying retirement a bit so let's say 250 pounds. Hailing from the greatest city in the world Green Bay Wisconsin MATT FOLZ! And now for my first partner …”
"Fifty Goddamn Skeleton Warriors" by Deathmole starts to play.
Matt: “From Duluth Minnesota, 5'11 and weighing in at 330 pounds. Also an OOWF Grand Slam Champion, The other Half of the longest reigning Tag Team Champions in OOWF History and an OOWF Hall of Famer. STAN FULTON!”
Stan makes his way to the ring and gives Matt a big Manly Hug of Mutual Respect, then gives Jaime a huge hug and fist bumps his Godson. Matt smiles before continuing.
"Hero" by Skillet begins to play as both Matt and Stan smile huge.
Matt: “One of the greatest wrestlers I've ever been in the ring with. A Grand Slam Champion, One of the longest reigning Intercontinental Champions ever and more importantly one of Stan, Jaime and I's best friends. 5'9, 180 pounds from Nayoga Japan MAI MUYO!!”
Mai gets in the ring and of course gives Jaime a long sisterly like hug, then hugs K.L, Stan and Matt.
Matt: “That completes team number one. Now to start team number two.”
"Bloodstains" by Agent Orange plays.
Matt: “One of the best high flyers not just in the history of this company but in the history of this sport. But you don't get to be a Grand Slam Champion and a Hall of Famer by just high flying alone, don't overlook his technical chops. The inventor of the Monsterbull shooter, the only man who once convinced me to sky dive. 6'3, 220 pounds from San Diego California TOMMY WILDER!”
Tommy jumps over the ropes with a smile as "Stompa" by Serena Rider begins to play.
Matt: “This might be the only woman who can tame this wild man.” *Tommy laughs and shakes his head playfully* “As of right now, she is the last wrestler in this company to win the Grand Slam. She inherited her talents, her personality and her attitude from her late grandmother and from her father. 6'1, 190 pounds from Riohaca Columbia MIRANDA WILLIAMS!”
Miranda gets in the ring, kisses her husband and shakes hands with everyone else in the ring. Then Matt hands her the microphone.
Miranda: “When Matt proposed this match, I told him that I insisted on being able to announce Tommy and I's partner. People have called him a lot of things: The Greatest Wrestler of All Time, The heart and soul of the OOWF, The Elephant Whisperer, Hall of Famer, his best friend affectionately constantly referred to him as ‘That Goofy Canadian Bastard.’ Me? Well I always just called him Dad. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce not only the greatest wrestler I know but also the best father a woman could ever ask for. From Cambridge, Ontario, Canada standing 6'2 and weighing 235 pounds L.D WILLIAMS!!!”
"Jekyll & Hyde" by Petra plays and L.D steps out from behind the curtain to a thunderous standing ovation. He looks almost overcome with emotion as he makes his way to the ring. He hugs his daughter and his son in law, and shakes hands with all his opponents.
The crowd is going absolutely crazy as Matt and L.D start- each with huge smiles on their faces. The two stand in the center of the ring and for the first few minutes put on a great display of chain wrestling, completely clean and getting the crowd on their feet. Matt with a double leg takedown and then he grabs L.D's legs and bridges for 2. L.D reverses to a 2 count of his own, Matt reverses that for another 2 count. Both men get back to their feet and grin at each other. Another tie up and Matt rocks the Hall of Famer with a European Uppercut. Matt with an Irish Whip and a big lariat. He tries early for an Angle Slam, L.D escapes and tries to set up a Canadian Destroyer, Matt escapes that and tries a Folzmission, L.D elbows out of that and both grin again as they're stalemated in the ring. Matt tags out to Mai, L.D tags out to Miranda.
They lock up and Mai snaps off an armdrag, hanging on and transitioning into an armbar. Miranda works her way to her feet and tries to hiptoss out of it, but Mai blocks and tries to reverse. Miranda blocks that and hits a modified hiptoss that drops Mai in a backbreaker across her knee. Miranda pulls Mai to her feet, backs her to the ropes, and sends her across the ring. Mai ducks a clothesline and comes back with a flying forearm. She rolls to her feet and goes back to the ropes, sliding into Miranda with a dropkick as she sits up. Mai pulls Miranda to her feet and backs her into the corner. She unloads with a series of chops and hits an Irish whip. Miranda reverses, sending Mai into the corner. Mai springs to the middle turnbuckle and leaps off with a back elbow, but Miranda snags her out of the air and drives her to the mat with a German suplex. She bridges, but Mai rolls a shoulder at two. Both ladies are up and Mai blocks a forearm, firing back with several of her own. She doubles Miranda over with a knee to the midsection and snaps her over with a suplex. Mai heads up top and leaps with a Savior Splash but Miranda moves out of the way. Miranda picks up a dazed Mai and hits the Desecrator. Miranda covers and gets the first fall of the match.
Miranda Williams over Mai Muyo, Team Williams leads 1-0
After the 15 second rest period, Mai tags in Stan and Miranda tags in Tommy. They move in to lock up, and Stan buries a knee in Wilder’s midsection. He whips him hard into the corner and charges, but Wilder moves out of the way. Stan manages to stop himself before he hits the corner, but a kick to the head from Wilder slams his face into the top turnbuckle. Wilder hooks Stan from behind and looks to end it early with the Crash and Burn, but Stan grabs the ropes to block. Stan swings a back elbow but Wilder ducks. Wilder spins Stan around and hits a leg lariat. Tommy ascends to the ropes and leaps off with the Air Walk. Tommy covers 1..2..3.
Tommy Wilder over Stan Fulton, Team Williams leads 2-0
Stan slams his hand on the mat in frustration and refuses to tag out. Tommy tags in L.D. The two former Saints smile at one another before locking up. Stan puts L.D in a head lock, but L.D grabs his arm and reverses it into a hammer lock. Fulton snarls in pain and quickly moves to the ropes to force a break. L.D releases the hold. Another lock up and this time L.D slips behind Fulton and lands several kicks to Fulton’s hamstrings, Fulton absorbs several shots, then turns around and grabs L.D and SLAMS him between the eyes with a headbutt! L.D staggers and Fulton grabs him again and lands a BIONIC ELBOW right between the eyes! L.D falls to his knees and grabs his face in pain, Fulton bounds off the ropes and destroys L.D with a falling clothesline. Stan covers, but L.D kicks out at two. Stan heads to the second rope and attempts the Drop Line, but L.D moves out of the way and tags in Miranda. Miranda nails Stan with several strong style kicks before tagging in Tommy and the two hit an impressive double brainbuster on the big man. Tommy heads up top and tries a cross body, but Stan plants him with a powerslam. Stan covers and gets the 3.
Stan Fulton over Tommy Wilder, Team Williams leads 2-1
Stan tags in Matt as Tommy tags in Miranda. Miranda takes Matt over with an arm drag. Matt smiles and quickly gets back to his feet. They tie up, and this time Matt takes Miranda over with an arm drag. Miranda gets to her feet, they lock up again and this time Matt slips behind and takes Miranda down and applies a hammerlock. Miranda gets back to her feet and leverages Matt completely out of the ring. Before Matt can catch his breath, Miranda leaps over the top rope and connects with a tope. Miranda rolls Matt back in and then leaps over the ropes with a senton that gets 2. Miranda shoots Matt off the ropes and hits a Superkick. That gets another 2 count. Miranda tries for a German Suplex, but Matt reverses and hits one of his own. Matt with a Northern Lights Suplex for 2. Matt picks Miranda up and leads her over to the corner. Matt tags in Mai, who heads to the second rope and MJM Inc hit a Spike Piledriver. Mai covers and gets the fall.
Mai Muyo over Miranda Williams, tied 2-2
Mai tags Matt back in while Miranda tags in Tommy. Tommy leaps over the top rope and nails Matt with a flying forearm. Tommy whips Matt into the ropes and hits a beautiful spinning heel kick. Tommy with a running kneelift and then a swinging neckbreaker. He heads up top and looks for the Air Walk, but Matt moves out of the way and Tommy comes crashing down awkwardly on his leg. Matt, Stan and Mai spend the next few minutes focusing on the high flyer's knee and ankle. Matt locks in the Ankle Lock but Tommy just barely makes the ropes. Matt continues to work on Tommy's leg, but Tommy catches him out of nowhere with an Enziguri. Tommy makes it to his corner and tags in L.D. L.D grabs a still stunned Matt and hits the Canadian Destroyer. 1...2...3
L.D Williams over Matt Folz, Team Williams leads 3-2
L.D tries to press his advantage, covering a still groggy Matt but Matt kicks out at two. With the time limit running down, we're right back where we started. Two of the best technical wrestlers in the history of the industry going at it. L.D goes for a brainbuster but Matt escapes and reverses to a release German Suplex that sends L.D flying halfway across the ring. Matt with a Mr Perfect like neck snap and then he drops an elbow on the back of L.D's head. Brainbuster gets 2. Matt scoops up L.D and hits an Angle Slam! He covers, 1...2....L.D kicks out at 2.999999. Matt with a running powerslam and he heads up top to hit a frog splash. Again L.D rolls his shoulder JUUUUUUST before the 3 count. Matt's clearly frustrated now but also shaking his head in admiration as he picks L.D up. Matt picks up L.D but L.D with a shoulder to the gut. L.D tries for another Canadian Destroyer but Matt slips out and applies the Folzmission! The time limit starts to run down inside 30 seconds as Matt leans back takes L.D to the mat applying the body scissors. L.D struggles but eventually taps.
Matt Folz over L.D Williams, tied at 3-3
Before either man can get back to his feet, the time limit expires.
Ladies and gentlemen, this match has gone the full 30 minutes, and will be ruled a draw.
All six competitors exchange hugs as the decision is announced. Stank, Firewoman and Jack Quinn all come from the back with huge smiles on their faces and slide into the ring to hug their fellow Saints.
Russ: “What a way to end the show, and maybe the career of all six competitors. For Razz, I'm Russ. Have a great night everyone and we'll see you in two weeks.” Razz: “Are we done for real this time? Can I go home?”
OOWF Saturday Slam – June 17, 2023 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• Bridget O’Malley vs. Nuke (Mac Flasher, Annie and Adam Jennings are banned from ringside) “Hate Breeders” plays with Nuke striding toward the ring, as the green-haired rookie takes his time to talk trash with anyone who appears to be a Mac Flasher or Bridget O’Malley fan. As Nuke spots a particularly chatty fan to tear up his sign, Bridget pops up from three rows behind the fan and stuns Nuke with a palm strike and a tour of the ringside fixtures, rolling the youngster into the ring as Davis Hightower signals for the bell. Bridget keeps the pressure on Nuke with a series of punches alternating between his head and torso, prompting him to duck under the top rope for a break. Bridget, showing rare aggression, yanks him back to the middle and continues her assault.
Russ: “This is a side of Bridget O’Malley that we know exists, but don’t always see.” Razz: “Nuke and Annie dragged her into their war with Mac Flahser, and while those two might not be the best of friends, I think we’re seeing that they still look out for each other.” Russ: “Though they might need to rethink strategies in these battles, because Nuke, Annie and Adam Jennings seem to have the edge in this war.”
Bridget hits a bridging German Suplex for 2 as Nuke rolls out to take a breather. Bridget teases a slingshot plancha, sending Nuke scrambling for cover under the Welsh announce table. Bridget steps out and waits for Nuke to emerge, only to get the table cover thrown in her face with Nuke laying in heavy elbows as Bridget fights out of her sudden lack of vision. Nuke sets up Bridget against a ringpost, signaling for Give ‘Em the Boot. Bridget takes the cover off at the last second, ducking as Nuke seemingly jams his knee against the post. With Nuke attempting to limp away, Bridget grabs the rookie and rolls him back inside, working on the injured knee with stomps and various locks. Nuke gets to the ropes to earn a break on a kneebar, jabbing Bridget in the eyes while the two were untangling. Nuke hammers away with forearms across her back, getting 2 off a knee lift and 2 again on a running neckbreaker. With Bridget staggering to her feet, Nuke steps back looking for Give ‘Em the Boot, but is caught when Bridget ducks slightly catching Nuke’s leg and draping it across her shoulder. Bridget then powers to a standing position with Nuke’s leg still over her shoulder in a stretch muffler. Nuke tries to fight his way out, but soon taps out when he cannot work his way free.
Your winner (submission, 6:49), Bridget O’Malley!
Afterward, Bridget keeps the hold on a few seconds longer to send a message as Annie reluctantly walks toward the ring with Bridget’s eyes on her the whole time. Hightower finally coaxes Bridget to drop Nuke, which she does unceremoniously while verbally reminding Nuke of his place.
• “King” Pete Quick and Angie DelPetro vs. Shoken Dojo (PORK and Katie Bardoor) This one never makes it to the ring as Katie and PORK are attacked from behind by Pete and Angie, starting a wild brawl where neither team sees an early advantage until PORK delivers a Samoan Drop to Pete, sending both men crashing off stage. Angie and Katie exchange fists and chops until Katie catches a punch and torques Angie’s arm to a near-broken position with the mob heiress shrieking in pain. PORK is the first to climb back onto the stage, grabbing Angie and putting her in position for a Muscle Buster with Katie adding a spike for good measure. Just as PORK drops, Nigel and Liam burst through the curtain to protect Angie and Pete, as he groggily climbs back to stage level. PORK steps up and headbutts Nigel while Katie lands a stiff uppercut on Liam just as the OOWF yellow-shirt brigade spills out to break the sides up. Katie gets through the first wave of security, but is halted by the second wave just as she was about to get hands on Angie again. With a guttural yell, PORK manages to burst through and give chase to Pete, who high-tails it backstage with PORK two steps behind.
• Kylie Mignolio vs. Alexander Darling The fans are ready for the next match as Porcelain & The Tramps “King of the World” begins to blast over the sound system and a hoodie-clad Alexander Darling slowly saunters down the aisle. He slides under the bottom rope and perches on the turnbuckle of the nearest corner. No acknowledgement of the crowd’s boisterous boos raining down on him as he unzips the hoodie and patiently waits for his opponent. And here she comes as Aerosmith’s “Jaded” begins to play and the crowd goes nuts for Kylie accompanied by Josie as far as the entranceway. A fistbump between the two and a brief nod from Josie to Alex as she makes her way back to the Compound. Kylie takes in the cheers as she makes her way down the ramp slapping hands with the fans as she walks around the ringside area making sure to keep an eye on Alex the entire time. She finally gets in the ring and walks right to the center as she waits for Masato Misawa to call Alex to the middle of the ring as well. Some last minute rule clarifications from the referee gets a nod from both competitors and then we get a ringing bell to put us under way here. As soon as the bell rings, Alex turns his back on Kylie and makes his way back into the corner to do some stretching. Kylie doesn’t take the disrespect very well and swings Alex around and lays into him with some loud knife-hand chops. Alex tries to move away into another corner, but Kylie is on the hunt and corners him once again and this time lays in some deep European uppercuts. Alex finally ducks under one and tries to get into another corner, but once again Kylie is on the prowl and this time she catches him with a picture perfect armdrag. She immediately goes to follow-up but Alex slides out of the ring to take a stroll around the ringside area. Kylie makes the inexperienced move and follows him but Alex slides into the ring first and catches Kylie coming in with some stomps. Alex goes on the attack for the next few minutes with a wide array of strikes and grappling holds to keep Kylie down and off-balance. After a few minutes of wearing Kylie down, Alex is looking to put an end to this as he picks Kylie off the mat and lifts her straight up in the air. Looks like he’s going for act 1 of Dark Darling Rising, but he holds the suplex position for a very long time and he actually holds it too long as Kylie finally wiggles out from the hold and lands behind Alex. Before he can even react, Kylie jumps up and nails Alex with LUNGBLOWER. Kylie stays on the attack as she quickly makes her way to the top rope and waits for Alex to get back to his feet before nailing a MISSILE DROPKICK. Kylie rolls Alex over and makes the cover… But Alex is able to kick out at 2. Kylie looks a bit frustrated but stays on Alex as she whips him into the corner and follows him in with a leg lariat. Kylie back on her feet and she climbs up to the middle rope and starts the prototypical 10 punches, but Alex is able to grab her on 7 and hits a RUNNING POWERBOMB out of the corner. Alex shakes the cobwebs out as he goes back onto the attack. He isn’t taking anything for granted as he stomps away at Kylie and really lays the boots into her. He lifts Kylie up off the mat once again and picks her up in position for another powerbomb, but this time he tosses and spins her high in the air and Kylie lands nasty after that vicious HELICOPTER BOMB. Daring drags Kylie a bit closer to the corner and it looks like he has this in hand as he climbs the ropes and he goes for the 450 splash, but Kylie has a bit remaining in the tank and gets her knees up. Both wrestlers are down for the moment, but Kylie is up first and drags Alex onto his knees before bouncing off the ropes and nails a SHINY WIZARD. Kylie’s not done as she bounces off the opposite of the ring and hits a LAST SHOT BOOM on Alex. Alex is in trouble as Kylie heads to the apron and waits for Alex to get back to his feet and as soon as he does, Kylie slingshots over the top rope…BUCKSHOT LARIAT. Alex is in serious trouble as Kylie makes the cover…
1… 2… No, Alex barely gets a shoulder up, but Kylie isn’t done as she’s quickly back on her feet and climbing the ropes when there is a roar from the crowd. Nuke has jumped out of the crowd and gets on the apron distracting Misawa. From the other side of the ringside area, Annie jumps out from her section of the crowd and distracts Kylie long enough for Alex to roll out of position of the moonsault. Kylie doesn’t seem to care as she flies over the ringpost and nails Annie with a crossbody block. Nuke notices this from the opposite side of the ring and sprints over and catches Kylie from behind and tosses her into the ring steps. That causes the automatic DQ. Alexander is just getting to his feet as he hears the bell ring and listens to the announcement of…
Your winner in 11:33, via Disqualification, Kylie Mignolio
Alex just shakes his head as he watches Nuke go after Kylie on the outside before she’s able to turn it around and starts getting the better of Nuke and tosses him into the ring. She’s about to follow him in when Annie is able to grab her leg allowing Nuke to drop a leg across the back of Kylie’s neck. Annie pushes Kylie the rest of the way into the ring and joins Nuke in the ring laying the boots to her. Nuke whips Kylie into the corner where Alex just barely gets out of the way. It looks like Nuke is motioning for Alex to get his pound of flesh and there’s a slight smirk as Darling gives a slap to the back of Kylie’s head before shoveing Kylie back into the waiting arms of Nuke who lifts her up and nails a Samoan Drop in one fluid motion. Just as Annie is about to climb the ropes, there’s a big cheer from the crowd as Beverly, Bridget, and Mac fly down the aisle to save Kylie from the attack. Nuke and Annie scatter back into the crowd as Alex begins to re-zip his hoodie and ignores the glares he’s getting from the crowd and wrestlers in the ring. Meanwhile Bridget has helped Kylie to her feet and raises her hand in victory.
• Mac Flasher vs. Sandra Fallon With Sandra already inside the ring, waving and smiling at ringside fans, “I Get Wet” heralds the arrival of Mac Flasher, who heads to the ring looking a bit worse for wear after the brawl that just happened following the previous match. Mac offers a handshake to Sandra, but shows a more determined-than-usual expression as Angelo Barros calls for the start of the match. Sandra catches Mac off guard with a couple of forearm strikes, pushing Mac to the corner. A corner splash gets nothing but turnbuckle as Mac sidesteps the attack and locks Sandra into a half-nelson before lifting her into position for an Olympic Slam. (Think Shuji Kondo’s Whale Hunt). With Sandra folded in half, Mac goes for an easy cover, tallying 3.
Russ: “Mac just displayed a new finisher! He told me that he’s calling that ‘Send it in, Jerome!’” Razz: “Whatever he’s calling it, Mac just made easy work of a very capable rookie.”
Your winner (pinfall, 1:01), Mac Flasher!
Afterward, Mac helps Sandra to her feet and helps her to the back.
• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Awesome Bill From Dawsonville (c) vs. Jack Quinn "Symphony of Destruction" plays and Jack Quinn makes his way to the ring, to a decidedly mixed reaction from the fans.
Russ: The fans SHOULD boo this no good son of a bitch! Razz: Russ, I am not entirely sure Jack did this.... Russ: Of COURSE he did it! Moosehead Jack is the most sadistic son of a bitch that has ever laced up a pair of boots, no matter what name he hides behind, that man there IS Moosehead Jack!
"Freebird" plays and the OOWF Intercontinental champion Awesome Bill From Dawsonvillle makes his way to the ring. Following a few feet behind him is King Quick. Bill tosses the IC title at the announce table and slides under the ropes into the ring, Quick joins Russ and Razz on commentary
Razz: Well this is certainly unscheduled KQ: Gentlemen, I thought I would sit with the two most knowledgeable men in the OOWF and watch this charlatan Jack Quinn Russ: It is about time someone said it! Razz: Is this another heel turn for you Russ? The last one didn't go so well
Bill slides under the bottom rope and Jack holds up his hands and tries to explain but Bill drops him with a right cross! The referee calls for the bell and we are underway!
Jack backs his way into the corner but Bill charges in and drives his boot into Jack's face, then pulls him up in the corner and hits several punches to the face. Jack tries to cover up, but one lands and immediately bloodies Jack's nose. Jack manages to reverse things in the corner and immediately locks up with Bill, which forces the referee to get between then and force the break.
Jack backs away, and as soon as the referee moves, Bill charges out of the corner, and drops Jack with a clothesline, then mounts him and rains punches down on Jack, who turtles up to avoid the shots and makes his way to the ropes and forces the break, drawing boos from the crowd. Bill pulls Jack to his feet and tries to go toe to toe, but Jack locks up, then grabs Bill in a side head lock, which draws more boos from the crowd.
Bill shoots Jack to the ropes and drops him with a shoulderblock, then immediately pounces on him and tries to rain punches down, but Jack escapes out of the ring too the floor.
Quick: Jack Quinn is a coward! He refuses to fight Bill! Russ: He is running like a scalded dog! Razz: I mean, maybe he DIDN'T attack Justin and Ellie May? Quick: NONSENSE! Jack Quinn is an abomination to this business! Jack Quinn is nothing more than a glorified garbage wrestler! He got by for all those years by being a sadistic madman! Razz: I mean, he IS a numerous time Onslaught champion.... Quick: I have irrefutable proof that those wins were fake Razz: WHAT?
Back in the ring, Bill has landed more punches and has opened Jack up above the eye. Jack refuses to fight back, grabbing a headlock or some type of stall move every time Bill gets the advantage. The fans are booing the hell out of Jack for this. Bill doesn't seem interested in a wrestling match. He will land a few punches, then Jack grabs a side head lock, Bill reversed the last few into back drop drivers, but didn't even go for a pin, opting again to fight. This goes on for about fifteen minutes, with Jack a bloody mess who can barely stand, having not thrown a punch in the entire match. Bill hits another back drop driver dropping Jack on his head, then gets to his feet. Jack uses Bill to pull himself to his feet and stands looking at Bill, Bill puts his fists up, but Jack refuses, instead, spreading his arms in the Christ pose and closing his eyes, welcoming whatever is coming.
Russ: Jack refuses to fight Bill! This is an absolute travesty! Quick: I told you the man was a coward! His whole career was spent hiding behind others! He was one of Poe's disciples, then he hid behind LD Williams, then Stank, then his sister, then the Saints. Jack Quinn likes to make everyone THINK he is some tough guy, but look at him! He brutally attacked Ellie May and Justin and the coward won't even fight back against a man bigger than him! Russ: Where I'm from, that is the mark of a true coward!
Bill lands another shot to the side of Jack's head dropping him, Jack immediately struggles to get to his feet again, using the ropes to pull himself up. He staggers to the middle of the ring and we hear him telling Bill "I DIDN'T DO IT!" The crowd actually starts to cheer for Jack as Bill drops him with another punch to the head, as Jack struggles back to his feet again, the crowd is more firmly behind him
Russ: I CANNOT BELIEVE PEOPLE ARE CHEERING THIS MAN! Quick: The sheep can be trained Russ! They think this is an act of an honorable man! <Quick leaves the announce table> Razz: Where the hell is he going?
Inside the ring, Jack struggles to his feet and Bill rears back for another punch, then stops and looks out at the crowd as they urge him not to. Bill looks completely confused and turns his back on Jack and looks out at the fans in confusion. While he is not looking, Angie Delpetro runs in and cracks Jack across the back with a chair, sending him slamming into Bill, Jack falls backward holding onto Bill, rolling him up from behind. Before the referee can turn around, Quick distracts him, and Delpetro reverses the roll up so Jack's shoulders are on the mat, Quick drops off the mat, Angie disappears and the referee turns around and counts three!
WINNER in 16:44 - and STILL OOWF Intercontinental champion - Awesome Bill From Dawsonville
Quick immediately grabs Bill by the leg and pulls him out of the ring and hands him his title and they head up the ramp. Bill is holding the back of his head where Jack's skull crashed into it. As they get about halfway up the ramp, Angie attacks Jack, but Katie and PORK charge into the ring and stop her, which brings out the Guard, giving the heels a three on two advantage since Jack is down. Bill sees what is happening and takes a step toward the ring, when Quick stops him
Quick: Bill, he ATTACKED you from behind! He is a menace! This is what he deserves! Think of poor Ellie May and Justin and how they're suffering!
Bill shakes his head trying to make sense of it, then slowly heads to the back while Quick watches the carnage. His looks quickly changes as Shokan Dojo get the upper hand and clear the ring sending Angie, Mr. Nigel and Mr. Liam out of the ring and up the ramp. Quick just snarls at Jack and they head to the back. Shokan Dojo celebrates in the ring, the boos for Jack lessen, but they are still there.
• Non-title match: The Woodsmen vs. The Royal Guard “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” welcomes the champions to a loud reaction as Hunter and Dakota soak in the adoration, striking their familiar pose, before heading to the ring. As they wait on their opponents, they stretch on the ropes while Dakota checks the sturdiness of Tapout Tent before folding it and putting it back in its sack. Silence fills the arena as Nigel and Liam slowly walk to the ring, seemingly unfazed by the garbage tossed at them. Gavin “Junior” Hale signals for the bell as Nigel and Liam immediately drop to the mats and lay on the canvas. Dakota reluctantly approaches The Royal Guard, Hunter pulls Dakota away warning of a potential trap. Nigel and Liam continue to lay on the mat as The Woodsmen discuss their next move. Dakota pulls out his phone and begins clacking away, before showing Hunter a picture of an opossum. Hunter nods and slowly approaches before pulling out his collapsable hiking stick, gently tapping Nigel with the stick, getting no movement from the guardsman. Hunter, with Dakota by his his side, approaches and places a boot on Nigel’s shoulder, getting no resistance or movement in response. Hale drops to the mat and counts 3.
Your winners (pinfall, 2:03), The Woodsmen!
The Woodsmen celebrate as Nigel and Liam pop up and ambush the champions from behind, booting them down with zero regard for Hale’s post match instructions. Liam disposes of Dakota outside of the ring as Nigel hoists Hunter onto the top turnbuckle. Liam folds a chair over Hunter’s head as Nigel now lifts Hunter in position for a superplex.
Russ: “That chair around Hunter’s neck will break it if Nigel hits that superplex.” Razz: “A broken neck might be getting off easy.”
Dakota rushes to the aid of his partner while PORK and Katie Bardoor run down the ramp to help in the rescue. Pete Quick and Angie Delpetro also run down as the brawl spills out of the ring. The 4-on-4 battle ends with no clear visual winner with the already overworked OOWF Security detail swarming the proceedings.
• Beverly Cambridge and Jeff Mangyuniku vs. The Battling Baristas Both teams are in the ring as Tara and Jeff get the starts. Jeff grapples Tara down and lets her up in the name of sportsmanship, drawing mild applause, but also angering his opponent. Tara, a bit quicker, gets the better of Jeff on the next grapple, but doesn’t give a clean break, paint brushing the back of the youngster’s head to raise his dander. Jeff, in a fighting stance, gets tagged out by Beverly as she instructs Jeff to cool off on the outside. Beverly locks up with Tara, who tries to use Beverly’s hair to her advantage before Ben Coleman catches the barista in the act and orders a break. Tara breaks at 3 and tags in Brynn, who misses a shoulder charge and is felled by a drop toehold on the way back. Beverly floats over the larger Brynn, trying to cinch in the La Bell Lock, but is unable to connect her hands as Brynn powers out. The two stand off with Brynn again looking for a quick strike, but catching air as Beverly slides out of the way.
Razz: “You can telegraph nothing with Beverly Cambridge! Not only does she know what you’re going to do, she knows the results of every time you attempted it and how successful you truly are.” Russ: “And I’m pretty sure those scouting reports date back to the womb.”
Beverly tags Jeff back in as Brynn levels him with a shoulder charge, getting 1.5 on the quick pin try. Jeff scrambles up and scrambles Brynn’s brains with a roaring elbow. That gets 2 as Jeff is firmly – and calmly – in control. Jeff connects on a deadlift gutwrench suplex that gets 2. Jeff and Beverly play the quick-tag game, barely giving enough time for Brynn to breathe as they hit a few slick-double team combinations with a double flapjack ending the sequence and getting 2.5. Brynn rolls away after the kickout and tags in a puffy-cheeked Tara, who tries to mist Jeff with hot coffee, but misses and sprays Coleman’s eyes. With the official in agony, Jeff and Tara brawl as two figures emerge from the stands and yank Beverly off of the apron before slamming her head off of the steps. The two intruders hop inside where they attack Jeff with a barrage of superkicks before revealing themselves as Matt and Nick Jackson, The Young Bucks. The Bucks then pull Jeff up and deliver a BTE Trigger that knocks him silly. Tara opportunistically takes the chance to cover as Coleman comes to and calls for the bell.
Ladies and gentlemen, referee Ben Coleman has disqualified The Battling Baristas, meaning that your winners (disqualification, 8:28) are the team of Beverly Cambridge and Jeff Mangyuniku!
Afterward, the Bucks pull up Jeff by his head and gesture that they want he and a parter of his choosing on July 29. Beverly comes in and cleans house with a kendo stick as the feed cuts to an advertisement for the July 1 edition of “Saturday Slam.”
• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Diego “Pop” Roxton With Diego in the ring, “Radioactive” plays with Lexie walking out with her OOWF World Championship on her shoulder. Lexie, growing more confident by the show, mounts all four corners and holds the title high for all to see. Diego respectfully waits for Lexie to finish her entrance, while Mel Creech shows the title to Diego and then starts the match. Diego opens in a capoeira stance that Lexie wasn’t expecting as indicated by her expression as the challenger flashes a few high kicks to create distance. With Lexie seeking any kind of an opening, Diego lands a roundhouse sweep that trips the champion up, Lexie scampers to her feet and ducks another high kick attempt before catching Diego in a single-leg takedown. Lexie is able to outwrestle Diego on the mat, twisting him into a pinning combination that gets 2. Diego pops up and rallies with a pair of open-hand strikes, stumbling Lexie back to a corner where Diego gets 10 unencumbered punches before an 11th punch is ducked by Lexie, who slips under Diego’s legs to grab his ankles and pull him face-first into a turnbuckle. Lexie then turns the tables on Diego, getting 10 shots in, with a louder count than the count-along for Diego.
Russ: “The fans in the OOWF Arena love them some Lexie Darling.” Razz: “While her relationship with the fans might be a bit rockier in her eyes, she’s learning to embrace this support.”
Lexie waits for Diego to fall out of the corner before wrapping his legs in a Darling Clutch. Lexie turns Diego over as the longtime veteran is overcome with pain. Diego is able to plank himself up, starting a crawl before Lexie adjusts her leverage, getting a few taps on the mat from Diego.
Your winner (submission, 6:33) and STILL OOWF World Champion, Lexie Darling!
Lexie releases the hold and reacts after a fairly decisive victory. Creech hands Lexie the title as rookie Rory Thomas steps out with a microphone in hand.
Rory: “Every other week, I wait patiently for a card to be posted and hope that my name appears on it, only to be disappointed. I couldn’t get into the tournaments. I’ve only been placed in a tag-team match and a battle royal. While I’m sure my resume doesn’t speak for what I am truly capable of, I’m here to challenge the claim that Lexie Darling is a fighting champion. What do you say champ? July 1. You … Me … That strap on your shoulder. All I want is one chance.”
Rory drops the microphone and doesn’t even wait for Lexie’s answer as she looks at Creech, shrugs and nods her head up and down, seemingly affirming Rory’s request.
• No-disqualification match: Zed vs. Sean Franklin Sean Franklin heads to the ring in his typical wrestling attire of a red singlet as “Enemy” by Imagine Dragons plays and a chorus of boos fills the OOWF arena. Once Sean is settled in the ring, the lights dim and “Shoot to Thrill” brings out Zed, who has abandoned his typical tights in lieu of a light-blue t-shirt, denim jeans and a jacket which he passes off to BRICK~! before climbing into the ring.
The two tie up, with Sean easily getting the upper hand using his wrestling expertise. He quickly puts in an ankle lock, with Zed reaching for the ropes before being reminded, both kindly by referee Mel Creech and loudly by Sean, that the rope will not save him. Despite this, Zed still grabs the rope, then uses the leverage to pull himself out of the ring and force Sean to release the hold.
As Zed gathers himself at ringside, Sean surprisingly hits the ropes and goes for a dive to the outside, but BRICK~! shouts to alert Zed and he sidesteps the swandive, sending Sean crashing into the ringside barricade.
Leaned against the barricade, Sean turns just in time for Zed to greet him with some knife-edge chops, to the delight of the North Carolina crowd. Zed plays it up, letting out a couple of “Wooooo”s of his own as he lays in a couple more chops before Sean staggers away in search of safety.
Zed gives chase, but Sean grabs an unoccupied seat at ringside and haphazardly tosses it at Zed. Zed mostly ducks the flying chair, but the glancing blow is enough to bust him open above the left eye, almost as much to his surprise as anyone else’s.
Zed rubs his forehead, spotting the blood on his hand, then looks at Sean and says, “So this is how we’re doing this, huh?” For the first time in probably his entire OOWF tenure, Sean’s facial expression reveals a hint of fear behind the bravado.
Zed picks up the chair that had been tossed his way, then charges towards Sean and smashes it over the top of Sean’s head. Zed shakes his head as he tosses the chair aside and stands over Sean. “Stupid!” Zed shouts at Sean. “Stupid!”
Zed looks to his side and sees a fan reaching out, holding a crutch out for Zed to use. Zed shrugs his shoulders and takes the crutch, driving it into Sean’s ribcage a couple of times before offering it back to the fan. Zed then looks under the ring and pulls out a ladder, which he slides into the ring.
Before Zed can do any further damage, however, Sean regains his footing and tackles Zed from behind at knee-level. Zed crumples in agony, holding his right knee. Unrelenting, Sean suplexes Zed into the corner stairs, Zed screaming out in pain.
Sean then turns to the announce table, sending Russ and Razz scattering for cover as Sean clears off notebooks and monitors and whatever else may be in the way. He then picks up Zed one more time, suplexing him into the announce table with a massive crash.
Sean looks back at the ladder in the ring, favoring his ribs but operating on adrenaline. He pulls the ladder underneath the ropes, then picks it up in his hands, but turns around to find Zed using every ounce of energy he has to leap up and dropkick the ladder, sending it smashing into Sean’s face while shouting in pain from leaping off his own damaged leg.
Now both men are down at ringside, bloodied and beaten. Zed gingerly gets up to one knee, with BRICK~! leaning over him urging him on. They exchange words, then BRICK~! scurries away and quickly returns with the jacket. Zed reaches into the jacket and produces a bottle of hot sauce.
RAZZ: You know, Russ, even though it’s called Texas Pete, it’s made in North Carolina! RUSS: That’s great and all, but what in the hell is Zed about to do with it?
Zed unscrews the cap off the bottle and tosses it into the crowd before crawling over to Sean, using one hand to hold open Sean’s eyes while pouring the sauce over his face. The crowd gasps in shock at the lengths Zed has gone to at this point.
It doesn’t take long for Sean, in incredible pain to free himself from Zed, rolling around and trying everything in his power to get the burning to stop. Eventually, he steals a bottle of water from a fan and pours it over his face and eyes. Zed grabs Sean from behind, but Sean spins around and kicks Zed below the belt.
As Zed tries to catch his breath, Sean rolls him back into the ring. He goes for a cover, the first pinfall attempt in this car crash of a match, but Zed kicks out at two. Sean spits at Zed, then drags him to the corner to lock in a ringpost-aided figure four.
Zed again is in incredible pain, reaching for his knee but unable to break the hold. Sean screams at Zed to tap out, but Zed refuses. After what feels like an eternity but was likely closer to 45 seconds, Sean relents and Zed drags himself away from the corner.
However, Sean grabs the ladder now laying at ringside and pushes it into the ring. Sean climbs back inside the ropes, then drives the ladder into Zed’s right knee repeatedly. Zed, try as he might, cannot escape the onslaught at this point. He tries to scurry to the corner, but Sean picks up the ladder for one last shot, driving the top step into Zed, sending him crashing into the bottom turnbuckle.
Zed slumps to the mat, and while it’s not necessary, Sean drags Zed to the center of the ring for good measure. Sean covers Zed, one, two, three.
Your winner (17:22; pinfall), Sean Franklin!
Sean’s arm is lifted in victory as medical staff attend to both Zed and the cuts along Sean’s forehead. However, his face shows no satisfaction or celebration in the victory, as he watches on while Zed is surrounded by the training staff.
Zed musters enough strength through the pain and gets the trainers back away long enough to get up on his left knee, turning to Sean and extending his hand. Sean stares in shock at Zed, blinking repeatedly before walking off, shaking his head as Zed crumples back to the mat.
OOWF Saturday Slam – June 3, 2023 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• “King” Pete Quick vs. Justin Sane The cold open shows Pete inside the ring with a microphone, embracing some of the garbage getting tossed at him while dodging the larger objects.
Pete: “I’d expect this kind of response in a shit hole like Asheville with no respect for the generous and benevolent ruler that I have been. While you have zero respect for the crown or my plan to rid the OOWF of has-been hacks like Jackie Quinn, I will continue fighting for the virtue that this company will never see as long as the Moosehead Jack that we all know is still very alive is cosplaying as wrestling’s answer to Bob Ross and Fred Rogers. Alas, my fight tonight isn’t against a has-been, instead it’s against a never-was. Justin Sane, whatever makes you think that you can even shine my royal boots, let alone compete with royalty is the greatest lie that you were ever told. But I’ll humor you. This championship that I hold as the first champion crowned in OOWF after the reboot can be yours in the impossible circumstance that you can defeat me in this ring. As the regal authority in OOWF, I will grant you a shot at this DDT Iron Crown Heavy Metal Championship. All you have to do is get in this ring and show that you can beat me.”
Pete tosses the microphone to ring announcer Mike Elevenbee as “Insane in the Brain” plays, but there’s no Justin. The song loops to the beginning and still there’s no sign of Justin until the OOWFTron cuts to a view of a bloodied Justin just outside of the curtain, curled in the fetal position in front of a disheveled stack of pallets and a broken baseball bat, while coughing up blood as OOWF Medical and Awesome Bill From Dawsonville appear on site to help as Pete takes the microphone away from Elevenbee.
Pete: “Jackie. Could you have made this any more obvious? The pallets? The sneak attack just as a wrestler was about to make an entrance? There is only one person in this building who is capable of attacking someone so innocent and so pure like Justin Sane in cold blood, and it’s you Jackie. This is how you cope with not getting your way. This is how you cope with a bad night of poker. Violence. You can’t get your hands on me, so you make sure that nobody else could. Typical Moosehead Jack. That’s not how you can make this legally binding document that keeps you far, far away from my royal person, which is on file in your sister’s office, go away. All you did was expose yourself as a fraud to the dwindling few people in this building who actually believed that you had changed. I’ve seen all I need to see.”
• Mac Flasher and The Frenemies vs. Nuke, Annie and Alexander Darling “King of the World” heralds the arrival of Alexander, who is in the now-standard black hoodie with zero gestures beyond a quick glare at a fan who grabs his arm. Alexander rolls into the ring and takes a seat on the top turnbuckle in his team’s corner as “Hate Breeders” draws out Nuke and an apprehensive Annie, the latter set to make her official in-ring debut as a wrestler. As the rookie couple makes their way to ringside, they are met by Adam Jennings, Nuke’s father, who hops over the barricade. Nuke and Annie gesture toward Alexander, who reacts with a very apathetic shrug, before the music cuts out with Josie emerging from the back by herself, but she has a microphone.
Josie: “LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, as the manager of The Frenemies, it is my honor to present to you three people who will work together like peanut butter, jelly and bananas. Like a cheeseburger, fries and Coke. Like Donatello, Leonardo and Michelangelo after Raphael was beaten by the Foot Clan in the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, like …”
“Crown on the Ground” plays to interrupt Josie as The Frenemies – Kylie and Bridget – emerge from the back. The duo fistbumps Josie as “I Get Wet” plays out Mac Flasher, who greets The Frenemies with drastic levels of enthusiasm coming back his way. The three walk to the ring and immediately chase Nuke and Annie out all while Alexander indifferently sits atop the turnbuckles. As Angelo Barros checks both teams for foreign objects, Bridget and Mac get into a bit of a tiff over who will start the match with Kylie loudly declaring that she will start for their team. Nuke steps in for his team as Barros calls for the bell. Kylie rolls away from Nuke’s first few attempts to grapple with her, but gets too close to the wrong corner as Annie yanks Kylie down by her hair, giving Nuke enough of an opening to deliver a few stomps and a standing knee drop. Annie eagerly reaches out her hand to tag in, but the tag is intercepted by Alexander as he gestures to Annie that she observe what’s about to happen. Alexander reaches down and gets pulled into a small package that gets 1. That heats up Alexander’s temper as he begins to pummel Kylie with heavy strikes and a hip toss that sends her to her own corner, where Mac and Bridget simultaneously tag Kylie. Alexander picks Mac, as evidenced by a strong right to the jaw, prompting Barros to declare Mac as legal. The two exchange blows with Mac almost getting the better of the battle until a well-placed knee to the gut stems the tide Alexander’s way. Alexander bulls Mac to an unsavory corner as Annie tags herself in to get a few blows in on Mac as he looks around with an incredulous expression before gently picking Annie up and placing her on top of the same turnbuckle that Alexander sat on before Nuke tags himself in.
Russ: “Finally. We’ll see Mac Flasher and Nuke get it on in the ring.” Razz: “Certainly not like the May 6 edition of Saturday Slam when they got it on in the ring.” Russ: “This time will be different.” Razz: “Why? Because it’s June 3?”
Mac motions for Nuke to bring the fight to the center of the ring, but Nuke refuses. As Nuke stands in his corner, Mac steps back to his corner where Bridget tags herself in, drawing Nuke away from his own corner. Nuke walks into a standing knee strike from Bridget and an attempted neck crank until Annie rushes in and jumps on Bridget’s back. With Bridget’s focus on Annie, Nuke clips Bridget’s knee and starts to work as Annie scurries back to her corner. Bridget isn’t in peril long as she kicks Nuke in the face and tags in Kylie, who springboards in with a dropkick to open the door for some slick tandem offense from The Frenemies including a double slingshot suplex that gets 2.5 as Nuke desperately tries to reach his corner. With Kylie flustering Nuke with quick attacks, the rookie slips to the outside to consult Adam, unaware of Kylie’s suicide dive through the ropes that sends both crashing to the barricade. Adam, who took the least damage, stands up and tries to intimidate Kylie, getting a spear from Mac who dropped down and rushed toward the fracas while Bridget yanked Annie down from the apron. Nuke staggers to his feet just as Mac and Bridget whip Adam and Annie toward Nuke’s general direction, causing a three-way collision, all while Alexander can barely be arsed to watch the wreckage.
Mac and Kylie work together to send Nuke back inside the ring while Adam slips an object to Annie, just barely in view of the camera. Annie woozily heads back to her corner while Bridget walks to hers to join Mac as Kylie delivers a handspring elbow to Nuke in the corner and follows with a split-legged moonsault that gets 2.5, only because Annie dashed in at the last second. With Barros chiding Annie, Nuke takes advantage of the distraction and rakes Kylie’s eyes and elbows her on the chin. Nuke confidently strides over to his corner, expecting approval from Alexander, but getting an indifferent tag. Alexander pounds away at Kylie, cutting her team’s half of the ring off as he puts her a clinic of stretches and strikes. Kylie almost gets to her corner after Alexander missed a knee drop, but was waylaid from behind by Nuke just as she noticed the opening. Alexander drags Kylie back to his team’s corner and trades tags with both partners as they wear Kylie down. With Nuke once again the legal partner of his team, a teardrop suplex gets 2 on Kylie. Nuke stomps away, loading up Give ‘Em the Boot with Kylie stood up in a neutral corner. As Nuke charges, Kylie ducks to lead the rookie into crouching himself on the top turnbuckle. Kylie crawls to her corner and leaps to tag in Bridget as she runs in as the proverbial house of fire, hitting spinning backfists on Nuke and Annie and also delivering a running knee to Alexander, who was basically minding his own business in the corner. With Nuke in Bridget’s sights, Annie puts a fanged mouthpiece in her mouth and grins with an evil expression as she stalks Bridget, just as Annie is about to leap up and strike an unsuspecting Bridget, Mac gets his arm between Annie and Bridget, taking the full bite and immediately falling into a state of shock. With Mac down and barely responsive despite Bridget’s panicked attempts to check on him, Annie rushes to bump Kylie off of the apron while Nuke blasts Bridget from the side with Give ‘Em the Boot, getting 3 and a nuclear amount of disdain from fans in attendance.
Your winners (pinfall, 16:13), the team of Nuke, Annie and Alexander Darling!
Aftrerward, Bridget pays no mind to the recent result, checking on Mac’s arm, which is now puffy and swollen as he cannot even sit up without help. Nuke, Adam and Annie celebrate their skullduggery as Alexander pats Nuke on the back with a slight smile cracking through. Nuke tries to go in for more damage, but is cut off by a weapon-ladened Kylie, who brought a chair from the outside.
Russ: “Look at Mac’s arm! What was on or in those fangs?” Razz: “Mac has a number of simple allergies and intolerances. It could have been something like lactose or mushrooms.” Russ: “I don’t think milk would have stopped him dead in his tracks and dropped him in a frothing heap. Those fangs were poisoned and Mac took that bullet for Bridget.” Razz: “Maybe it was expired milk. You’re missing the point, Russ, this is the biggest win of Nuke’s career! We should be proud of this OOWF-trained rookie getting a win over the likes of a two-time former world champion and The Frenemies!”
• Zed vs. Sean Franklin
Sean quickly takes control of the match after the bell, using his wrestling ability to stifle Zed. He eventually shows off his raw strength, body slamming Zed before carrying him to the corner, placing him in the Tree of Woe and adding a boot across the face for good measure.
Razz: “Sean Franklin doesn’t just want to beat Zed, he wants to humiliate him!” Russ: “That’s been clear since Day 1. But why?”
Zed lays on the mat, and Sean climbs to the top turnbuckle and goes for a flying elbow drop. Zed rolls out of the way, however, and Sean goes crashing to the mat. Back on his feet, Zed stands up Sean and lands a flurry of quick, striking offense before hitting the ropes and dropping Sean with a running knee lift.
Again, Zed rushes to stand Sean back up, and sets up behind Sean for the Moment of Zed. However, Sean discretely lifts up a leg, striking Zed with a low blow without Mel Creech noticing.
With Zed doubled over in pain, Sean spins around and hits a belly-to-belly suplex, which sends Zed awkwardly crashing into the turnbuckle. Dazed, Zed is helpless as Sean lifts him to the top turnbuckle.
Razz: “What in the hell is the rookie doing here?”
With Zed seated on the top turnbuckle, Sean pulls down the straps of his singlet and superplexes Zed.
BRICK~! shouts from ringside, and Sean takes a knee facing him, responding verbally and adding in a crude hand gesture for good measure. Sean then stands back up, looking over Zed and shaking his head. Zed slowly gets up to a knee, clearly still shaking off the cobwebs.
Razz: “I don’t know if Zed should keep going here.” Russ: “At some point, discretion has to be the better part of valor, whether it’s from Zed, his corner or Mel Creech.”
Sean drags Zed to his feet, leaning into his ear and whispering one final message before hitting a Full Nelson Slam. Sean offers a half-assed cover for the pinfall attempt, but Mel Creech could count to 100 here and it wouldn’t matter.
Your winner (9:22; pinfall), Sean Franklin!
Russ: “I can’t believe what we’ve just seen.” Razz: “Sean Franklin didn’t just defeat a former OOWF World Champion, he obliterated him!” Russ: “I think our focus now has to turn to Zed’s health, I haven’t seen him look this worse for – oh, now, what the hell is this?”
Just as it looks like Sean is about to start gloating to the masses about his win, Mel Creech convenes ringside with OOWF officials. Zed, still lifeless on the mat, is attended to by physicians.
Seeing the commotion, Sean rolls out of the ring and joins the huddle, trying to figure out what exactly is going on and pleading his case, whatever it may be at this point.
Eventually, Mike Elevenbee grabs a microphone …
Mike: “After official review, it has been determined that Zed’s foot was underneath the ropes, nullifying the pinfall attempt by Sean Franklin. This match WILL continue!”
Sean goes NUCLEAR hearing this and seeing the win taken from him. Zed is now seated upright on the mat, talking with the ringside medical personnel.
Russ: “I understand rules are rules, but how the hell is Zed supposed to continue in this match?”
He doesn’t get the chance. Sean grabs a chair from the ringside area and storms into the ring, smashing the chair into Zed’s back.
Your winner (10:52; disqualification), Zed!
The medical personnel scatter and officials quickly step in to separate Sean from Zed, but not before he can connect a handful of times with the chair. Zed spills out of the ring, now with a massive cut along his forehead.
As the officials forcibly usher Sean up the ramp and backstage, he can be heard shouting “Now you know! Now you know!”
• The Royal Guard and Angie Delpetro vs. Shoken Dojo (Jack Quinn, PORK and Katie Bardoor)
The Guard and Angie Delpetro are out first. Mr. Liam and Mr. Nigel hold the ropes open for Angie and she steps between them and sneers at the crowd. "Symphony of Destruction" plays but only Jack walks out. The heels move toward the ropes as Jack makes his way down the ramp, when PORK and Katie slide into the ring behind them, each with a kendo stick and the fight is on!
Katie and PORK wear Liam and Nigel out with kendo shots, PORK swings wildly for Angie's head, but she drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring, right into a clotheslining from Jack. Jack pulls her to her feet and BLISTERS her with chops , backing her up the ramp. Inside the ring, PORK clotheslines Liam over the top rope to the floor, while Katie hits a HOTSHOT on Nigel, as he bounces back, PORK throws him over the top rope to the floor. Katie notices Jack, Jack whips Angie down the ramp toward the ring, Katie springs over the top rope and hits a buckshot lariat on a running Angie!
Katie throws her back into the ring and PORK covers but Mr. Liam comes in with a chair and slams it down across PORK's back breaking it up. The six then brawl around the ring, with PORK and Katie going to war with the Guard. As they brawl up the ramp and around the ring, Angie and Jack go nose to nose in the middle of the ring. Jack tries a suplex, but Angie slips free and hits a lungblower, but doesn't cover. Instead she slips outside the ring and grabs a kendo stick and waits for Jack to get to his feet. As he stands, Angie tosses it to Jack, he catches it and glares at Angie. She repeatedly screams DO IT! Jack looks like he wants to, but at the last second he tosses it aside and ducks the coming boot from Liam that catches Angie right on the jaw! PORK and Katie are back into the ring, Jack slides out of the ring to the floor and low bridges Nigel as he hits the ropes, then drops him on the floor with a German suplex. Inside the ring, Katie catches Angie with a superkick to the jaw that sends her right into PORK, who lifts her onto his shoulders, PORK hits a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER, but on the outside, Jack slides a chair into the ring just before Angie hits the mat, then pulls the chair away after PORK rolls her up. Jack turns to the front row and shrugs his shoulders and tells the fans to keep quiet as the referee counts three!
Your winners (pinfall, 16:28), Shokan Dojo!
But the carnage continues. Pete Quick races to the ring with a chair and KILLS PORK with a shot to the head. The Guard and Angie quickly recover and put a beating on Shokan Dojo. As Angie holds Katie, choking her with the kendo stick and Nigel keeps PORK on the mat, Liam grabs Jack and hits a BRAINBUSTER! Jack struggles to his feet and Nigel CRUSHES his head with a chair! Jack lies on the mat motionless. Pete Quick grabs a mic:
Pete: ”Look at that Jack. Not a soul.”
Nigel grabs Jack and forces him to stare at Quick, blood runs down Jack's face from a gash on his head.
Pete: “Do you hear the crowd, Jackie? Listen …” *Quick waves the mic around, the crowd is in a stunned silence* "They don't care. No one in the back has come out to help you. They don't care, Jackie.”
Quick pushes Jack's hair back and digs his fingers into the gash in Jack's head causing more blood to flow, and causing Jack to howl in pain. Quick looks at his bloody fingers then runs his fingers under his eyes like war paint.
Pete: “Jack Quinn, you are a cancer to this profession. You embody everything wrong with this business. You spent your career doing nothing but causing pain, misery and suffering, and now you think you can just …” <POOF> “… make it all go away by claiming you've changed.”
Quick nods at Nigel, who pulls Jack to his feet and PLANTS him with a chokeslam, then once again pulls him up, forcing him to look at Quick.
Pete: “Not used to this, are you Jackie? You're used to GIVING the beatings, not receiving them. And still … no one comes to help you. No one cares. I will break you Jack. I will end you. I will rid the OOWF of the cancer that is Jack Quinn.”
Nigel slams Jack face first into the mat and The Guard, Angie and Quick stand over Jack until PORK and Katie get to heir feet and officials FINALLY come to the ring. Medics try to help Jack to his feet, but he shoves them aside and tries to stand on his own, takes a few steps and slumps to one knee. Katie and PORK help him to his feet, and help him out of the ring to the back
• OOWF Tag-Team Championship: The Woodsmen (c) vs. The Electric Company
With Joe and Jamie already in the ring, “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” brings out Hunter and Dakota to a response reserved only for the tippy-top of OOWF’s popularity chart as The Woodsmen strike their familiar pose before striding confidently to ringside. While Dakota is holding a chart of some sort, Hunter grabs the microphone from Mike Elevenbee and has to wait over a minute before the crowd will allow him to speak.
Hunter: “Great fans of OOWF, June is upon us. With June comes outdoor time, which Dakota and I are proponents of, but also a time to always be aware of ticks.”
Dakota unfurls a chart, giving statistics and also visual aids to identify tick bites.
Hunter: “As The Woodsmen …”
Hunter and Dakota strike their familiar pose with Dakota playing fanfare on an alphorn kazoo while Hunter puts his hand over his brow while pantomiming stepping on a large rock.
Hunter: “… We want to make sure that all of those who hear our message are as safe as can be from the scourge of ticks and the blood borne illnesses that they transmit. So, Dakota will use this special comb to inspect Joe and Jamie, to make sure that they are free and clear for not only competition this evening, but also doing all they can to ensure continued health.”
Dakota, with rubber gloves on, approaches The Electric Company with the comb. Joe, who is bald, goes first and receives a thumbs up from Dakota. Jamie takes off his hardhat and is inspected by Dakota, who jumps back and confers with Hunter, who is watching the proceedings very closely. Hunter nods at Dakota as he reaches into his fanny pack and produces a bottle marked “TickGone.”
Hunter: “Jamie. It appears that Dakota has located a tick in that glorious mane of yours. You’re in luck, however. Because Dakota tells me that the tick was not fully engorged, nor was it positioned in your scalp. But in the interest of safety, we offer you this special leave-in shampoo that will eliminate any and all parasitic insects that may inhabit your scalp. All we ask is that, you, choose not to fight us in this contest. In the interest of safety.”
Jamie ponders the offer for a minute, holds the bottle in his hand and looks to Joe before crushing the bottle with its contents oozing through his fingers. Jamie then charges Hunter with a bottle-aided fist that knocks him silly as Mel Creech signals for a bell. Jamie pounds away at Hunter, unaware that Dakota has a second bottle of TickGone that he pours liberally on Jamie’s head. Dakota then massages the shampoo into Jamie’s scalp – getting some in his opponent’s eyes – while Hunter and Joe battle with a flurry of right hands from both on the outside. Dakota, using water from his canteen, rinses the shampoo from Jamie’s scalp and offers a towel. An annoyed Jamie tosses it back to Dakota, who throws it back into Jamie’s face. As Jamie struggles to free himself from the towel seemingly struck to his wet hair, Dakota sneaks behind and secures a schoolboy rollup, getting 3 from Creech.
Your winners (pinfall, 1:37), and STILL OOWF Tag-Team Champions, The Woodsmen!
Afterward, Hunter and Dakota rush to embrace fans at ringside as Dakota plays the kazoo fanfare while also inspecting those fans for ticks as the feed cuts to an advertisement for Judge John Law, weekdays at 4 and 4:30 p.m., only on OOWF.TV.
• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Jeff Mangyuniku (c) vs. Awesome Bill From Dawsonville
“Freebird” plays as a scowling mad Awesome Bill stalks to ringside. Bill steps over the ropes and holds a microphone.
Awesome Bill: “I ain’t known for knowing much, but I knows in my heart that that there Jack Quinn done attacked my partner and best buddy earlier tonight. Them Royal Guard fellers saw the whole thing and told me all about it when Justin was being put in that wee-woo ambulance. Jack, after discussifying with Ellie Mae, we has decided that Banned From Everywhere is banning you and your kin for life from our fine establishment.”
“King of the Clouds” plays after Awesome Bill spikes the microphone cutting the hush that fell over the crowd. Jeff looks to the crowd and salutes them before The Royal Guard emerge from the back and pummel Jeff with chairs and King Pete Quick’s scepter. It’s not long before Jeff is a bloody mess, having the jewel-encrusted scepter raked repeatedly across his face by Nigel. OOWF Security spills out to break up the beating, but Jeff is hardly able to stand as a very confused Awesome Bill courteously assists Jeff to the ring. Jeff slumps in a corner while Davis Hightower is asking if Jeff still wants the match. Awesome Bill, who replays show is speaking with Angie DelPetro at ringside, has no knowledge of what put Jeff in his state. Jeff nods that he wants the match to start with Hightower obliging.
Jeff falls face-first onto the mat, out cold, without Awesome Bill even lifting a finger. Hightower, who started the match also ends it.
Your winner (referee stoppage, :15), and NEW OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville!
Afterward, an even-more confused Awesome Bill is handed the championship while Angie, the Royal Guard and Pete applaud from atop the ramp.
Russ: “Did Awesome Bill just sell his soul to … THEM?” Razz: “I think he’s just as puzzled by all of this as we are, but if he’s got a beef with Jack Quinn, those are the people you want on your side.”
• OOWF World Heavyweight Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Beverly Cambridge Back in the ring for the big-match introductions, Beverly and Lexie stretch in their respective corners with each receiving loud applause as Misato Misawa checks both grapplers before “Zombified” breaks the silence. AEW wrestler Saraya stands on the ramp while Tony Khan, the company’s president joins her and pulls a microphone from his jacket.
Tony: “Admit it, you never thought I’d set foot on AEW property, but here I am. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa, if I can call you that, I have a business proposal for you. You see, I’m not too happy about what happened on March 12 in Jacksonville, so I’m here to get that win back. No wagers. No stakes. Just pride. Another best-of-seven card, right here in Asheville. We’ll play by your rules, so if you want an inter-gender match, you got it. July 29, Lisa. Have your suits call my suits and we’ll make it happen. Until then, I’ll leave a card in the ring to let everyone know that we were here.”
The camera cuts to the ring where AEW women’s champion Toni Storm and Ruby Soho attack Beverly and Lexie from behind as Saraya dashes down to make it a 3-on-2 assault. As the women use the numbers to their advantage to subdue Beverly while looking to spray paint Lexie, Lindsay McAllister hops over the barricade with a kendo stick in hand swinging at anyone not on the OOWF payroll. The intruders head for higher ground while Beverly and Lexie collect themselves to see Lindsay standing tall and staring down the uninvited adversaries. The main-event combatants smile and nod at Lindsay who motions for Saraya, Toni and Ruby to return to the ring, an offer that the three AEW wrestlers decline.
Russ: "Lindsay! She's back, and thank heavens she was here!"
OOWF Saturday Slam: Because Reasons – May 20, 2023 LIVE! from West Palm Beach, Florida
• Mac Flasher vs. Alexander Darling This match gets the cold-open treatment as OOWF official Angelo Barros signals for the bell with Mac and Alexander circling each other before locking up to no advantage for either competitor through multiple attempts. On the fourth try, Alexander reaches up to pull Mac’s hair, but is caught by Barros. Mac seizes the opening to sneak in a roll-up try while Alexander was motioning to feed the ducks during Barros’ admonishment. That got 1 before Alexander rolled out and immediately put the boots to Mac, drilling him with a running knee to finish the flurry. A cover gets 1, though Alexander stays on Mac with a pair of elbow drops and a running snap mare. Alexander pulls Mac to his feet, but is met with a booming head butt and a forearm shiver that staggers the Florida native to the corner, where Mac hits a running corner splash and follows with a count-along series of punches that gets to 8 before Alexander simply dumps him over the ropes and to the outside.
RAZZ: “For years, I’ve been waiting for someone to do that. Don’t just stand there and get your brains beat in, make them pay for their grandstanding!”
Mac tries to shake the cobwebs outside, but has little time to do so as Alexander drops a double-axehandle from the apron. Alexander tries to run Mac into a nearby ring post, but is shoved off two steps away and barrels head-first into the fixture. Mac rolls into the ring as Barros’ count hits 7, slipping back out to retrieve Alexander who shoves Mac away and hits him with a sling blade, dropping the back of Mac’s head off of the apron before he crumbles in a heap. Alexander rolls back into the ring as Mac appears dead to the world. Barros starts to count Mac out as he tries to stand up, getting to 8 before he’s upright. As Mac tries to pull himself onto the apron, he can’t quite get off of the ground. A couple tries to hop up are futile as Barros’ count hits 10.
Your winner (count out, 5:48), Alexander Darling!
After the match, Mac tries to shake his leg as it is evident that a hand was grabbing his ankle. Mac pulls his leg back, drawing out Annie, who for the most part appears frightened to now be in Mac’s clutches. As Mac picks Annie up and holds her by her hair, Nuke hops over the apron and obliterates Mac with a kendo stick. Nuke whacks Mac with the stick as Annie stomps away. Mac is able to scamper into the ring to temporarily avoid further beatings. As Mac backs to the center of the ring, he bumps into Alexander, who shoves him back into the reach of Nuke’s kendo stick. Nuke splits Mac’s forehead with an overhead chop, dropping him at Alexander’s feet. Nuke gestures for Alexander to join the fun, but an expressionless Alexander seemingly nods in approval before shrugging and walking out of the ring, leaving Mac to Nuke and Annie as they unleash a furious beating. As Annie holds Mac’s head up in range for Nuke to deliver Give ‘Em the Boot, a tall figure – not as tall as Mac, however – in a yellow hooded sweatshirt, the same sweatshirt from two shows ago, hits the ring and stands between Nuke and Mac. Nuke gets into the person’s face and drops their hood to reveal Bridget O’Malley to a thunderous ovation as she unleashes a bushel of rights and lefts on the rookie before grabbing Annie by the hair and tossing her over the top rope. Mac staggers to his feet and sees Bridget standing before him, trying to process what is happening. As Mac offers a fist bump, Bridget pats Mac on the shoulder and quickly exits the ring without changing her expression or saying a word. As Bridget walks to the back, Mac stands in the ring with no idea of what just happened.
RUSS: “If this was the big reunion that a lot of people wanted, it left a lot to be desired.” RAZZ: “Bridget O’Malley will save Mac’s ass, but she still can’t – or won’t – trust his ass.”
• Zed and Kylie Mignolio vs. The Battling Baristas With Brynn and Tara already in the ring and stretching on the ropes, a mashup of “Shoot to Thrill” and “Jaded” notes the arrival of Zed and Kylie, who take time to greet ringside fans before entering the ring. As The Reverend BRICK~! follows behind Zed and serves as a one-man hype team, Zed offers a handshake to Brynn and gets room-temperature coffee to the face for his sportsmanship as Mel Creech signals for the bell with all four combatants now in a brawl. Zed shakes off the bean-based attack and plants a dropkick right on Brynn’s jaw, sending her out of the ring just as Kylie’s dropkick bumps Tara over the ropes. Zed and Kylie salute the fans and high five each other and Rev. BRICK~! while the Baristas take a powder.
Brynn rolls in as the legal Barista while Kylie steps in for her side, Brynn and Kylie exchange near-misses on aerial strikes, standing off and getting a smattering of polite applause. Kylie gains control when Brynn slips on the middle rope when attempting a springboard crossbody press. Kylie works the arm a bit before tagging in Zed, who slows Brynn down with a series of body strikes and a standing armbar. Brynn is able to work her way free with an eye rake, tagging in Tara, who charges in and gets a trio of arm drags for her trouble before Zed and Kylie work the quick-tag game to perfection, giving Tara zero chance to gain any separation with the ZeBevKy Compound representatives firmly in control. Kylie wraps up the sequence with a running bulldog that gets 2. From there, Kylie and Zed isolate Tara with a frustrated Brynn shouting face accusations of hair-pulling from the apron. Kylie tags in Zed as Tara is on her last legs. Zed hoists Tara up in position for GTH, stopping only as Brynn charges in and spears Zed, causing Tara to take a nasty fall on her head in the process. With Creech admonishing Brynn, Zed tags Kylie, who climbs up top and delivers a split-legged moonsault on a prone Tara, getting 3 from Creech right after he puts Brynn back in the corner.
Your winners (pinfall, 6:43), the team of Zed and Kylie Mignolio.
Zed and Kylie celebrate with a respect hug as Rev. BRICK~! hops in to join the party. Brynn checks on Tara, and glares at Kylie who offers to help the downed Barista to her feet. Zed and Rev. BRICK~! stand by Kylie to ensure no post-match attacks occur as Kylie helps Tara up without incident. With Zed turning around and planning on leaving the ring, rookie Sean Franklin hops onto the apron and tries to block his exit. After a few seconds of jaw-jacking, Sean takes a swing that Zed ducks before the veteran replies with an elbow of his own to send Sean off of the apron, delighting those in attendance.
• Jack Quinn vs. Angie Delpetro "Generic Italian Mob Music Set To an Ominous Beat" plays and Angie Delpetro makes her way the ring, stopping to sneer at some young fans. "Symphony of Destruction" plays and Jack Quinn comes out and the crowd pops! Jack steps between the ropes and meets Delpetro in the middle of the ring and offers his hand to her, Delpetro sneers and Jack just shrugs. The referee calls for the bell and they lock up.
Jack backs Delpetro into the corner and the referee calls for the break, Jack breaks and starts to back away when Delpetro rakes the eyes sending Jack staggering away. Delpetro climbs onto the second rope and lands a bulldog that drives Jack face first into the mat. Delpetro pulls Jack out of the ring to the floor and lifts him and drops him throat first on the guardrail, then chokes him with a cord breaking only when the referee threatened disqualification. Delpetro pulls Jack up and shoots him into the ring, then hits a springboard legdrop right across Jack's face for a two count.
Delpetro pulls Jack to his feet and backs him into the corner and hits a couple of chops, but Jack reverses it and BLISTERS Delpetro with chops and the crowd ERUPTS! Jack grabs Delpetro and lifts her for a supex but Delpetro slips free, when Jack spins free Delpetro hits a spinning heel kick that Jack partially blocks, but enough of it catches him to send him staggering against the ropes. Delpetro smells blood and charges in and tries another kick, but Jack blocks it and goes NUTS
RUSS: “I do not like the look in Jack's eyes!” RAZZ: “That is a man who has had enough.”
Jack connects with a kick to Delpetro's gut, doubling her over, then he grabs her and hits a PACKAGE PILEDRIVER! As soon as Delpetro hits the mat, Jack pounces and locks her into a rear naked choke! Jack locks in the body scissors but before Delpetro can tap the Royal Guard are in the ring! The referee immediately calls for the disqualification.
Your winner (disqualification, 5:38), Jack Quinn!
The Royal Guard put the boots to Jack, after a moment, Delpetro joins in!
RUSS: “THAT DAMN DIRTY JEZEBEL!” RAZZ: “What the HELL is going on? … It’s KING QUICK!”
“King” Pete Quick makes his way to the ring with a chair and opens it and takes a seat. The Royal Guard and Delpetro drag Jack in front of Quick. He looks at Jack and shakes his head.
PETE: “Jack, it doesn't have to be this way.” *pulling some papers from his pocket* “give him to me Jackie. Sign the papers, and all this can end. Come on Jackie, what's it gonna be? You're a smart businessman. The people are lining up to take you out. Hell, just yesterday I had half a dozen calls to collect the bounty on your head. It's to the point where I am going to have to HIRE someone to weed out the candidates.
“Jackie *Pete leans over and grabs Jack's face, forcing him to look at him* … I can make your life and absolute living hell. You can make it all go away, just walk away, retire. Go home to your peaceful little cabin in the woods. Go do whatever it is you want. Just sign.
Jack spits in his face.
PETE: *dramatically taking a handkerchief from his pocket and wiping his face* “You know, I could sit back and enjoy watching others destroy you, or, I could just collect the money MYSELF!”
Quick jumps to his feet and grabs the chair and lifts it to slam it down on Jack's head when Katie and PORK hit the ring with chairs! They catch the Guard with chair shots and nearly get Quick but Delpetro grabs him and pulls him to safety. Quick and his crew head up the ramp while Jack, Katie and PORK, Shoken Dojo stand tall in the middle of the ring and the fans roar.
• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Jeff Mangyuniku (c) vs. Bridget O’Malley “Crown on the Ground” plays in Bridget, who doesn’t make it five steps down the ramp before Annie and Nuke clip her leg with a conveniently placed shopping cart. The punk couple hammer away at Bridget as Jeff, without his music, runs down to stop the attack. Nuke headbutts Jeff and staggers him back while Adam Jennings climbs over the ringside railing to begin barking orders. Annie starts to lose ground to a now-enraged Bridget while Nuke and Jeff brawl throughout the ringside area. Annie spits what appears to be water in Bridget’s eyes. With Bridget stopped momentarily, Annie lunges her face toward Bridget’s throat only for Mac Flasher to pull Bridget to safety at the last second. Bridget throws an O’Mallet at Annie, nearly knocking her cold as Mac then rushes toward ringside to aid Jeff in his brawl with Nuke all while OOWF official Davis Hightower has thrown this match out long ago.
After Jeff posts Nuke, Mac grabs the rookie and lifts him in position for a Flash Drive aimed for the apron. Adam runs down and pulls at Nuke’s ankles and frees him from the impending brain-buster before Adam, Nuke and Annie head for higher ground. Jeff thanks Mac as Bridget gives an uneasy look to her rescuer before walking to the back, again leaving Mac’s right fist unbumped.
RUSS: “So, I guess Mac paid Bridget back for her save earlier, but they seem to be nowhere near a resolution in their personal issues.” RAZZ: “Russ, those two can’t work together to order takeout. What makes you think that a couple of saves will patch up years of animosity between the two?”
• Nowhere Brawl and Grille World Tag-Team Championship Invitational Elimination bar fight: Banned From Everywhere vs. Shoken Dojo vs. The One-Notes vs. The Woodsmen The feed cuts to the Nowhere Bar, Grille and PCPL Repository as all four teams are preparing for the ensuing brawl. Arctic McBearington, standing behind the bar, is sanctioned as the special guest referee, mainly because none of the officials on the payroll wanted to work this match.
RUSS: “As you look at the Nowhere Bar, Grille and PCPL Repository, a tag-team champion will be crowned when all other teams are eliminated. To eliminate a team, you just need to pin or gain submission from one member of that team. Last team standing will become the new OOWF World Tag-Team Champions. No disqualification.” RAZZ: “Buckle up, Russ! This is going to hurt everyone involved, though my money is on Banned From Everywhere. They have the most experience, plus brawls in that place are part of the nightly closing process. ”
McBearington rings a triangle behind the bar as the brawl is on. Katie Bardoor and Awesome Bill from Dawsonville pair off, throwing wild haymakers at each other while shoving away any combatants who try to join the fight. The Woodsmen sneak to the kitchen and watch through the window in the double doors before PORK, already in the kitchen and consuming vegan nachos, bowls over the two, sending them stumbling back into the lobby where Justin Sane nails Hunter with a barstool. Dakota ducks Justin’s swing, but gets a DDT from PORK. Dakota is saved by Hunter at 1.5, but eats a double dropkick from Carrie and Harper, slipping out of Harper’s pin attempt at 2. PORK grabs Carrie and tosses her into the jukebox, getting it to work for the first time in years as “White Trash” by Southern Culture on the Skids, the only 45 in the jukebox, plays on loop. PORK and Carrie keep fighting while Dakota and Harper have paired off, trading booming shots as Justin and Hunter place their bets on the winner. Harper gets Dakota to a knee, but misses a shining wizard. Justin throws a second $5 on Harper, only to see Dakota suplex her through a pool table, getting 2, but more importantly winning Hunter $10.
Back to Katie and Awesome Bill, who are joined by PORK and Carrie in their rollicking fistfight through the saloon doors and to the outside. PORK and Carrie’s fight takes them to the nearby outhouse, where an Irish Whip by PORK sends Carrie crashing through the door. PORK tries to force Carrie’s head into the hole of the wooden seat, barely able to stand the stench himself. Carrie elbows her way out of the predicament and tries to shove the head of the much-larger PORK into the seat, to no avail. PORK smashes Carrie with a forearm shiver and gets her in the same predicament as before, slowly sliding her head downward before Carrie shrieks and furiously taps out.
The One-Notes have been eliminated (submission, 5:31).
RAZZ: “PORK was about to give Carrie a Mississippi Swirly! She may have never recovered from that had he succeeded.” RUSS: “When you think of what might have been in that outhouse and the last time it was sanitized, Carrie probably saved her own life along with her career by tapping out.”
PORK returns into the lobby area in triumph as The Woodsmen are double-teaming Justin. PORK evens the numbers, taking on both Hunter and Dakota by himself as Justin recovers. Meanwhile, Katie throws Awesome Bill over the bar and into the special PCPL reserve, sending the jugs tumbling everywhere. Katie grabs a jug marked “XXX - 1993” and clocks Awesome Bill, dropping him like a sack of potatoes. Katie then rolls Awesome Bill over as McBearington reluctantly makes the count, getting to 2.5 before Awesome Bill gets a shoulder up. Katie gets right into McBearington’s face as Justin leaps on her back, trying to take her down with a piggyback sleeper hold. Katie throws Justin into Awesome Bill’s arms as PORK hip tosses both Hunter and Dakota onto Awesome Bill and Justin, creating a pile of humanity. In the wreckage, Dakota’s arm is draped on Justin’s chest as McBearington slowly counts to 3.
Banned From Everywhere has been eliminated (pinfall, 9:48)
With PORK and Katie standing tall, the two discuss strategy as the punch-drunk Hunter and Dakota stagger to their feet. PORK reaches down and grabs both by their scalps, practically palming each man’s head as two men barge into the restaurant, holding scepters.
RUSS: “WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE? THE ROYAL GUARD HAS NO BUSINESS BEING IN THIS MATCH.” RAZZ: “As soon as ‘King’ Pete Quick made Jake Quinn his business, anyone fighting under the Shoken Dojo banner also fits under the business of King Quick.”
Nigel and Liam head straight to Katie and PORK, braining both with their scepters. Katie is dropped to a knee as PORK waves Nigel on to try again. As The Woodsmen try to intervene, Liam cuts both off with a spinning heel kick. Liam continues his assault on Katie while PORK attempts to wrestle the scepter away from Nigel, only to be felled by a Greco-Roman shot to the groin. Nigel then hammers away on PORK, busting him open and bludgeoning him until he can barely get his arms up. The Woodsmen try to intervene again, but are shoved into the jukebox by Liam, causing it to stop working. Nigel walks toward Liam as both eyeball Katie, who shakily tries to get to her feet. Liam swipes all of the mugs off the bar and rolls Katie onto it. Liam climbs up top and turns Katie into a pile driver position as Nigel aids in the maneuver grabbing her boots and spiking her down. Katie, now also busted open and bleeding heavily, twitches on the bar before involuntarily rolling off. Nigel and Liam, proud of their handiwork, flip a schilling to McBearington before walking out. Hunter, the first of The Woodsmen to stand up, walks toward the bar to see the carnage, throwing up in his mouth. Dakota pulls a baggie from his fanny pack as McBearington scans over Katie and PORK and waves The Woodsmen away before calling for the bell.
Referee Arctic McBearington has determined that Shoken Dojo is unable to continue (referee stoppage, 14:58), therefore …
… your winners and NEW OOWF TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS, THE WOODSMEN!
Hunter and Dakota immediately try to help Katie and PORK by fashioning tourniquets from their kerchiefs as standby OOWF Medical personnel rush into the restaurant. The Woodsmen are not concerned about the titles in the slightest as McBearington tries to present them to Hunter and Dakota as they continue to help medical attendees as the feed heads back to the arena.
RUSS: “Fans, stay tuned to OOWF TV for updates on the condition of Katie Bardoor and PORK after that heinous attack.” RAZZ: “If ‘King’ Pete Quick is watching, I almost guarantee that he has the full attention of Jack Quinn. Even if he’s no longer Moosehead Jack, that is not a positive development. You just hope those kids are OK, because that attack was brutal.”
• OOWF World Heavyweight Championship: Lexie Darling vs. Beverly Cambridge “Cut the Cord” heralds the arrival of Beverly Cambridge, who is greeted with polite ovation, but not what she is accustomed to. As Beverly’s music fades out, a buzz starts to hum in the arena. The buzz grows into a “LEX-IE! LEX-IE!” chant before the music of the newly crowned OOWF World Heavyweight champion Lexie Darling – “Radioactive” – hits. Once it does, Lexie gets the mother of all hometown pops, causing an inquisitive expression from the champ before she leans into it a bit.
RUSS: “As Lexie Darling takes that first walk down the aisle as champion, what is going through her mind?” RAZZ: “As someone who has been there in other companies, I can tell you that there’s no feeling greater than to be THE champion. Make no mistake, Lexie Darling has earned this. She has spent years grinding away while her brother Alexander held a bigger piece of the spotlight. Lexie got her chance two weeks ago and she walked away with the biggest prize that this sport can offer. If anything is going through her head, it should be a feeling of pride but also the awareness that she’s a marked woman.” RUSS: “And her first match – her first defense – is against the last person to hold that title. This will be a doozy.”
Mike Elevenbee gives the big-match introductions as Lexie’s pop is deafening. Masami Misawa goes over the instructions with the two before holding the championship high in the air. Misawa signals for the bell as the match opens with Beverly taking the fight to Lexie with a series of quick strikes. Lexie responds with equal fire, getting an entire arena behind her as her final punch – a hard right cross – pushes Beverly to a corner. Lexie stays back, per Misawa’s request as West Palm Beach is rocking with Lexie’s every move. The normally reserved Lexie eggs on further response as Beverly stretches her neck and rubs her jaw.
RUSS: “Usually Beverly isn’t in a match where she’s receiving this kind of response.” RAZZ: “This town is proud of its champion, Lexie Darling. The local girl did good.”
Beverly tries to lock up with Lexie, getting a go-behind takedown before Lexie escapes and reverses. The two trade off reversals and quick pinning attempts – none getting past 1. With Beverly the last on the mat, Lexie offers a hand to help her up, only for Beverly to try and pull Lexie into a triangle. Lexie scampers out easily as both competitors smile and nod at each other. The two tie up again with Beverly backing Lexie to a corner and sneaking in a quick jab to get the advantage. While that act is met with jeers, Beverly methodically works on Lexie’s shoulders and arms, stretching, stomping and pulling any way she can. Beverly ties Lexie in a sugar hold with Misawa intently checking for a submission. Lexie grits her way through the pain and is able to shift things to the ropes, where she earns a break. Beverly stays on the offensive with an inverted Rings of Saturn that was located too close to the ropes as Lexie is able to pull back and tangle both into the ropes, getting another break.
Beverly pulls Lexie to the middle of the ring, but loses control when Lexie drops down for a jawbreaker, allowing the champ a couple of seconds to breathe and get the blood flowing in her arms. Lexie runs through Beverly with a pair of shoulder tackles and then unleashes a spine buster with Beverly coming off the ropes to get 2. Lexie throws out a submission attempt of her own, working a conventional Texas cloverleaf before releasing and inverting it into a Kondo Clutch. Beverly’s hand hovers over the mat for what seems to be an hour, but really only 10 seconds, before she’s able to plank and shift her hips to get Lexie off balance. Beverly frees herself and rolls under the ropes as she limps off the damage to her leg. Lexie catches Beverly off-guard with a baseball slide, sending Beverly crashing into the barricade. Lexie sends Beverly back into the ring and signals for a Bitch Killer, whipping the fans into a frenzy. Lexie gets Beverly into position, but Beverly battles out and greets Lexie with a forearm. Beverly hits the ropes and delivers another forearm blow to stun Lexie. Beverly goes behind and hits a bridging German suplex, but cannot fully hold the bridge as Misawa is in the correct position to count 3 on Beverly’s shoulders as Lexie shoots her shoulder up at 2.75.
Your winner (pinfall, 13:44), and STILL OOWF CHAMPION, LEXIE DARLING!
Afterward, Beverly intercepts Misawa to present Lexie with her title. As the two converse, Beverly points at the belt, seemingly asking for another try, which draws an affirming nod from Lexie. The two shake hands as the feed goes off the air.
OOWF Saturday Slam – May 6, 2023 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• Beverly Cambridge and Banned From Everywhere vs. Ona Jones and The Electric Company With Ona Jones, Joe and Jamie already in the ring, “Insane in the Brain” plays with Awesome Bill from Dawsonville and Justin Sane charging toward the ring to clean house before Beverly Cambridge, who cannot even wait for her own entrance theme, charging behind. Justin pairs off with Joe, Awesome Bill with Jamie and Beverly with Ona as a triple clothesline sends all three rookies tumbling over the top rope and onto the floor with a nuclear crowd reaction. With Beverly electing to start for her side, Ona is the first back into the ring for the rookie squad as Gavin “Junior” Hale starts the match proper. Beverly and Ona exchange reversals from a waist lock until Ona gets the advantage thanks to a handful of hair. Beverly quickly works back to a stalemate before a standing judo throw puts Ona on her backside. Ona, while seated, takes a flurry of kicks to the spine before Beverly tags in Awesome Bill, who helps Ona to her feet and motions for one of The Electric Company to tag in. Joe tags in, stepping into a hard right hand from Awesome Bill before staggering back to his corner where Jamie takes the initiative, only to eat a top-rope dropkick from Justin, who tagged himself in while the focus was on the rookie corner. Justin and Jamie lock in a test of strength, easily won by Jamie, who pulls Justin to the corner and starts a series of tags between himself, Joe and Ona with stomps, punches and a low blow putting Justin on the ground. Awesome Bill is now working over the turnbuckle in his team’s corner to prompt the crowd into rallying behind Justin, who tries to crawl under Joe’s legs, but is caught by the ankle and dragged back to the enemy corner. Another quick-tag series commences with Ona the last one in, finishing off the beatdown with an uppercut that has Justin seeing stars.
Ona snapmares Justin to the mat via his mohawk before wrapping him in a seated bodyscissor and tumbling around the mat with Justin getting the worst of it and staying down for 2.5 from Hale. Now standing, Justin blocks another hair-pull attempt from Ona, but is victimized by an eye rake as both Awesome Bill and Beverly protest. Justin, staggering, falls short of his corner when trying to tag out, getting a series of boots from Ona an elbow drop before a cover gets 2. With Justin staying down, Ona heads to a neutral corner, climbs to the second rope and misses a splash, giving Justin the opening to lunge toward his corner where Beverly tags in and pummels Ona with a number of varying strikes as Awesome Bill charges in and rudely bumps Joe and Jamie off of the apron. As The Electric Company crashes into the barricade, Beverly smashes a forearm to Ona’s jaw, downing her as Awesome Bill tags in legally. Awesome Bill props Ona on the top turnbuckle before Justin eagerly wants to be part of the action. Awesome Bill tags in Justin as he climbs the turnbuckles with Beverly getting in a rocket launcher position. Awesome Bill climbs up behind the dazed Ona and delivers a top-rope Go Dawgs while Beverly tosses Justin onto a downed Ona. Justin rolls Ona over, allowing Hale to count a long-since-assumed 3.
Your winners, (pinfall, 9:18), the team of Beverly Cambridge and Banned From Everywhere!
Afterward, Justin, Awesome Bill and Beverly celebrate while Joe and Jamie pull a flattened Ona from the ring. Josie, who was instructed to remain in the back during the match, runs out to join the victors in the ring with a virgin PCPL (Mountain Dew) in hand. Justin and Awesome Bill offer Beverly the authentic product, but receive a polite refusal from their partner.
• Rory Thomas and Kylie Mignolio vs. The Woodsmen “What Does the Fox Say?” breaks the silence as Hunter and Dakota walk out to a stunningly enthusiastic response, one that startles Hunter. The Woodsmen, now leaning into their unexpected popularity, play to the crowd as “Jaded” brings out Kylie and Rory, to an equally enthusiastic welcome. A very eager Rory, making his non-battle royal debut needs to be held back by Kylie, who is showing zero signs of her knee injury from two weeks before. With both teams inside, Davis Hightower inspects both teams and requests that Dakota remove his fanny pack as he signals for the bell. Kylie and Hunter start with a chain-wrestling sequence highlighting the speed of both grapplers. Kylie fakes out Hunter by teasing a crossbody, sending Hunter to the mat. Hunter points to his head while still face-down on the mat, only to pick his head up and see Kylie looking down and waving at him. Hunter, now flustered, tries to grapple Kylie to the mat, only to be caught in a half-crab submission. Hunter pulls himself to the ropes, getting a break from Kylie and a tag from Dakota. Kylie tries to buzz around the larger Dakota, only to get caught with a powerslam that gets 2. Kylie rolls away and tags in Rory, who trips when trying to slingshot himself over the top rope. Dakota begins to work over Rory, who gets a few shots in, but cannot match power with the stronger of The Woodsmen.
Hunter tags in and attempts a number of holds to wear Rory down, but cannot keep his grip on a nerve hold when Rory, inspired by a Kylie-led clapping cadence, stands up, elbows Hunter in the gut three times and runs the ropes to land a flying forearm to get 1.5. Rory then hits Hunter with an atomic drop and meets him with a dropkick on the other end. Rory, gaining confidence, hits a crossbody for 2 and follows with a leaping back elbow just as Hunter got upright. Rory runs to the ropes and tries another crossbody, but gets air and canvas. Hunter tags out as Dakota starts to pound away before cinching in a figure-four leg lock. Rory is able to wiggle to the ropes, getting a clean break and a tag-out to Kylie, who rolls through a clothesline attempt and catches Dakota with a sunset flip when he put his head down just a moment too soon. Kylie gets Dakota over and gets 2 before Hunter politely makes the save by tapping Kylie on the shoulder and then pointing in a different direction. Kylie doesn’t fall for it, but it did enough to break the count. Dakota tries to roll up Kylie, getting 2 in the process. Kylie tags in Rory, who overshoots everyone with an attempted maneuver from the top rope. Hunter engages with Kylie in a brawl as Dakota grabs the portable tent from The Woodsmen’s corner and sets it up in the middle of the ring. Dakota pulls Rory inside and zips the flap shut as implied brawling ensues. As the flap unzips with what is assumed to be Rory’s hand extending outward, Kylie posts Hunter and rolls into the ring to tightly hold Rory’s arm, preventing a submission. Kylie muscles her way into the tent and pulls both men out before booting the tent to the outside. Dakota charges Kylie, who leapfrogs him and tweaks her knee on the landing. Dakota ducks a lariat from Rory and sends him to the outside. With Kylie on the mat, Dakota walks over but gets pulled into a small package that gets 3 from Hightower.
Your winners, (pinfall, 10:03), the team of Kylie Mignolio and Rory Thomas.
Afterward, Kylie pops up with a grin to indicate that she may have tricked Dakota. Hunter, confused as to what had happened, kicks the bottom rope after the announcement. Rory, also reentering the ring, stands next to Kylie with cooler heads prevailing and both teams shaking hands and raising each other’s arms.
• Mac Flasher and Zed vs. Sean Franklin and Nuke As Nuke, Annie and Sean discuss strategy inside the ring, “The Royal We” plays out Zed and Mac to raucous applause. While Nuke and Sean are ready for the fight that’s coming, they still get cleared from the ring as Zed dropkicks Sean and Mac spears Nuke. As the youngsters regroup on the outside, Mac launches himself over the ropes and nails both men with a tope con hilo, keeping the pressure by tossing Sean back into the ring to an awaiting Zed. Nuke grabs Mac and posts him while Zed and Sean battle on the inside. With Mac shaking the cobwebs, Nuke misses a charge and runs himself into a nearby post as Mac rolls in and helps Zed corner Sean, who battles his way out with eye rakes and an elbow near Mac’s throat. Sean drops down to check on Nuke, who shoves his partner away. Back in, Sean is caught in a headlock by Zed and taken to the mat for 1. Sean attempts to escape, but Zed is able to use his leverage to keep weight on Sean. Nuke comes in to disrupt the proceedings only for Mac to cut him off with a lariat. Again, the rookies regroup with a shoving match between the two with Annie trying to play peacemaker.
Back inside, Nuke insists to enter the ring until Mac steps in. Nuke then grabs Sean’s arm and forces a tag, which Masato Misawa recognizes as a legal tag. Mac shrugs and ties up with Sean, who gets the advantage with an eye rake and a sharp elbow to Mac’s throat, dropping him immediately. Sean grapples Mac down and cradles him for 1. Sean ties Mac in the ropes, only for Nuke to call for a tag. Sean glances at his corner before going in for a pair of boots to Mac’s torso as Misawa tries to untangle Mac. Now untangled, Mac falls to the mat as Nuke screams to get tagged in. Sean, with an annoyed expression, walks over and slaps Nuke. Nuke strolls in and spits on a downed Mac before stomping away. Nuke, with hit-and-run offense, keeps Mac grounded. With Mac staggering to his feet, Nuke rushes in and gets back dropped into Sean in the rookies’ corner. While Nuke and Sean argue, Mac tries to get to his corner only for Annie to pull Zed off of the apron as Mac was within two steps of a tag. Misawa, who caught Annie in the act, immediately ejects her. Nuke, who is already apoplectic, hears the announcement from Mike Elevenbee and immediately rushes into the ring to argue with Misawa before walking out alongside Annie, leaving Sean to the wolves so to speak. Sean heads back into the ring before sizing up the numbers game and walking out to safety as Misawa administers a very unsatisfying 10 count to a long-gone Sean.
Your winners (count out, 8:41), the team of Zed and Mac Flasher!
Mac and Zed shrug before saluting the ringside fans and heading to the back where a near-ambush from Nuke and Annie, who are just behind the curtain is cut off by Sean, who immediately starts barking to Zed that what they have isn’t over following a quick brawl with his punk-influenced teammate.
• Shoken Dojo (Jack Quinn, Katie Bardoor and PORK) vs. The One-Notes and Pete Quick Russ: You know Razz, in all my years calling OOWF, this may be one of the few times the “card subject to change” has actually been used. As our viewers know, Jack Quinn has not been medically cleared to wrestle tonight. Razz: Yeah Russ, lemme tell ya, concussions are no joke. We all wish Jack a speedy recovery. Also as we saw, new OOWF DDT IronPerson Heavy Metal Champion Pete Quick has also been ruled medically inactive for this evening. Russ: Something certainly smells fishy there.
“Diva” by Beyonce plays and The One Notes, Carrie and Harper come out, then turn and wait for their manager, the new OOWF DDT IronPerson Heavy Metal Champion Pete Quick to come out, Quick comes out wearing the title, then points to each cheek, and the One Notes give him a kiss. The trio makes their way to the ring, Quick holds the ropes for the pair, then grabs a mic, before he can say a word, the crowd is mercilessly booing all of them. Asheville, North Carolina. My god what a dump! <boos> THIS is the best the OOWF can do? Some fourth rate town in a hick state in the middle of nowhere? THIS is what this company has come to? <shaking his head> You know, there was a time when the OOWF was feared. There was a time when the OOWF went head to head with the WWE and the brilliant Vincent Kennedy McMahon………and WON! And NOW? Now we’re second on the marquee to the drum circles in the park! <intense booing> Now? Now the OOWF is getting by on reputation. Trying desperately to recapture some of that old glory, fighting to become relevant again.
Say, that reminds me of someone………..our dear friend, Jack Quinn. Hiya Jackie! Jack Quinn is the perfect embodiment of the OOWF. Known for nothing more than mindless bloodshed and violence, he is someone who should have been taken out back and shot, long ago, but yet, here he remains, pathetically clinging to a past he doesn’t want to admit to, while trying for……..one…….last……..gasp at fame.
<Crowd boos intensely now, Quick starts to speak again, but “Red War” by Probot plays and Shokan Dojo storms the ring! Katie and PORK slide under the ropes while Jack remains on the outside, the referee calls for the bell and the fight is ON!>
Katie lunges at Quick, but he bails out of the ring so Katie turns her attention to Harper and rocks her with several forearms to the side of the head backing her into the corner. On the opposite side of the ring, PORK grabs Carrie by the throat and throws her into the corner and hammers her with stiff clubbing clotheslines across the chest. The two climb to the second rope and the crowd counts along as they give the One Notes the ten punches of doom. They hop down then whip Carrie and Harper toward one another, but they do a nice dosey do and avoid the collision, only for PORK and Katie to explode out of the corner and cut them both in half with SPEARS! Carrie and Harper bail out of the ring and Quick is quickly there to console them. Meanwhile PORK and Katie climb the turnbuckles to a HUGE pop from the crowd.
Harper slides into the ring and tries to sneak attack Katie, but Katie turns and sees her. She hops off the turnbuckle and she and Harper slowly circle, Quick moves to jump onto the apron, and Katie moves to murder him, which gives Harper the opening. Harper kicks Katie in the ribs dropping her to one knee, she hits the ropes and connects with a boot to the side of Katie’s head, then covers, but Katie is out before one. Harper pulls her to her feet and throws her into the One Note corner, slamming her head into the turnbuckle, then tags in Carrie. The two put the boots to Katie, driving her to the mat, and breaking only when the referee threatens disqualification. Carrie pulls Katie to her feet and sends her to the ropes and launches her in the air with a big back body drop. Katie hits the mat hard and grabs her back. The One Notes spend several minutes working over Katie’s back, keeping the ring cut in half. They get several near falls, but Katie kicks out of each one. Finally Harper has Katie in an armbar, keeping her down on the mat with occasional kicks to the head. At first they keep her down, but after a few, Katie starts to hulk up, the crowd goes nuts! As they cheer her on, Katie gets to her feet and Harper rakes her eyes, then tries to send her to the ropes, but Katie stands her ground and reverses it into a ripcord clothesline! With both women down, Katie inches toward her corner, Harper grabs her foot in desperation, but Katie frees herself with several kicks to Harper’s face, then she turns and makes the tag to PORK!
PORK comes in and the crowd ERUPTS! He levels Harper with a clothesline. Carrie tries to run in, but he lifts her in a press slam and throws her over the top rope to the floor. As PORK pushes Harper into the corner, Katie charges past him and dives between the ropes and KILLS Carrie as she gets to her feet. Once in the corner, PORK shushes the crowd, they get real quiet, then SMACK! PORK UNLEASHES with a chop! The crowd gives the appropriate WHOOOOOOOOO!
Russ: MAH GAWD IT SOUNDED LIKE A GUNSHOT! Razz: I’ve been on the business end of some chops like that, but nothing like PORK chops! Hey! That’s funny! PORK chops!
PORK quiets the crowd again before unleashing another thunderous chop, then hits repeated chops until Harper is beat down to the mat. PORK walks to the opposite corner and calls for a cannonball. Outside the ring, Carrie rakes Katie’s eyes again and throws her into the stairs, then grabs Quick’s title. Quick hops onto the apron and distracts the referee, as PORK charges toward the corner, Carrie slides in and BLINDSIDES PORK with a title shot to the head! PORK goes down in a heap, Carrie throws the title out of the ring and grabs Harper and drags her over and lays her on PORK. Quick points to the pin and hops off the apron, then turns around and hits the mat, ONE……TWO…..THRE…….NO! PORK powers out and the big man gets to his feet, blood running down his face. Harper tries to beg off, but PORK does the YOU! point! Harper turns and runs toward her corner but Carrie falls off the apron and grabs her ankle in pain. Harper slowly turns around and sees PORK, she gives a weak smile and tries to flirt, but PORK grabs her by the throat and hits a two handed choke slam, DRIVING her to the mat. PORK covers, but Carrie manages to reach into the ring and put Harper’s foot on the bottom rope.
PORK pulls Harper up and tags in Katie. Katie grabs her and hits a series of snap suplexes and rolls through the last one and covers, but Carrie is once again in the ring to break it up. Katie pulls Harper to her feet once again, hits an inverted atomic drop and hits the ropes looking for a buisaku knee, but Carrie catches her with a kick to the back of the head, the kick only momentarily stuns Katie, and she turns and POPS Carrie with a left hook to the jaw that sends Carrie flying off the apron, crashing into Quick. Carrie is FURIOUS!
Carrie grabs the title and slides back into the ring, she charges at Katie, but Katie ducks, as Carrie hits the opposite ropes, Jack reaches up and low bridges her, sending her tumbling over the top rope to the floor. Katie tags in PORK and hooks Harper’s legs like she is going to turn her over into a Boston crab, but then catapults her at a waiting PORK who catches her in mid air, and in one smooth motion turns it into a spinebuster that Arn Anderson would be proud of. PORK flips Harper over and locks her into the ji-endo!
Russ: HE IS GOING TO BREAK HER IN HALF!
Carrie tries to help, but as she gets on the apron, Katie hits her with that buisaku knee that sends her off the apron, crashing ribs first into the guardrail. Harper is hopelessly trapped and immediately taps out!
Your winners (Submission, 13:41), Shokan Dojo!
As soon as the bell rings, Katie lunges goes after Quick, but he scurries away, leaving Carrie and Harper to limp their way up the ramp after him. Jack climbs into the ring and raises their arms in victory as the crowd cheers and chants SHO-KAN DOJO <clap clap clapclapclap>
OOWF Intercontinental Championship Finals • Bridget O’Malley vs. Jeff Mangyuniku “King of the Clouds” announces the impending arrival of Jeff, who appears calm as he walks to the ring. Jeff salutes his supporters and stretches on the ropes as “Crown on the Ground” play to bring out Bridget. As the two-time former Intercontinental Champion looks at the belt at ringside, she glances up to Jeff as they nod to each other. Ben Coleman, who has the assignment, brings the two wrestlers in for instructions before asking for the match to start. Jeff and Bridget go through a bevy of moves to try to gain any sort of advantage, but the occasional sparring partners at The ZeBevKy Compound repeatedly work their way to a stand-off. The two fight in a lockup with Bridget arm dragging Jeff to the mat. A fist drop misses as Jeff rolls away and to the outside. Jeff heads back in and wants a test of strength with Bridget, who declines, instead grabbing a wrist lock and back Jeff to a corner before unleashing a hellacious chop. Jeff flips the script, gets Bridget in the corner and whiffs on a chop, but nails the ducking Bridget with a knee lift and takes her to the mat and into a standing arm bar. Bridget escapes, but Jeff replies with a dropkick.
Both combatants criss-cross before Bridget puts on the brakes and plasters Jeff with a shoulder block. With Jeff woozy, Bridget gets him in position for a bulldog but is shoved off. Bridget goes back in and is cradled for 2. Bridget is up first and introduces Jeff’s face to the top turnbuckle and transitioning to Bridget to Nowhere that gets 2. Jeff rolls away from Bridget and to the outside as Coleman starts his count.
Jeff gets back in at 6 and catches Bridget flush on the nose with a palm strike, bloodying her up a bit, before starting his first onslaught with a headlock and a few strikes to Bridget’s nose. Bridget powers out as the two exchange heavy rights, but it’s a left to the ribcage by Jeff that keeps him in control. A shoulder block to Bridget’s thigh upends her and allows Jeff to start working on her left leg. Bridget tries to get loose, but Jeff is able to maintain his grip while also driving her knee into the mat repeatedly. Jeff gets Bridget onto her feet and scoops her into a backbreaker and then rolls her into a Texas Cloverleaf. Bridget teases a possible tap-out, but is able pull herself and Jeff toward the ropes before grabbing the bottom strand. Jeff drops an elbow on the still-downed Bridget and goes up, only to receive a right foot to the face. Bridget kips up and tries a backdrop suplex, but her knee buckles sending Jeff sideways and into Coleman, who falls as if he were shot. Bridget, now bleeding buckets, slumps in a corner and ducks a leaping Jeff as he soars head-first into the ring post. Bridget pops up and cracks Jeff square on the jaw with Red Death, going for a cover that the crowd counts to at least 7 before Bridget spots Coleman counting the lights. Bridget tends to the official as Jeff struggles to a seated position. While Bridget is getting Coleman upright, Nuke rushes in from the crowd and blasts Jeff with Give ‘Em the Boot. Bridget gets Coleman back in position, but is drilled with a chair from behind by Annie. Bridget falls flat on her face with Jeff only starting to come to. Jeff, still very dazed, pulls a limp Bridget up and unleashes Kate Ni Nare, folding her up and getting a very sluggish 3 from Coleman.
Your winner (pinfall, 11:37) and NEW OOWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, Jeff Mangyuniku!
Afterward, Coleman hands Jeff the title as he stares at his reflection in the front plate. Before the feeling can truly wash over him, Nuke and Annie jump in the ring to celebrate, though Jeff wants nothing to do with their congratulations. Annie points to the OOWFTron just as it played a highlight of her chair shot to Bridget. Jeff, now with a horrified look on his face, shoves Nuke and Annie aside to beeline to Coleman, giving the title back to him and motioning that he does not want it under these circumstances.
OOWF World Heavyweight Championship Finals • Alexander Darling vs. Lexie Darling “Radioactive” sends Lexie to the ramp, where she is showered with cheers and adoration, which could be hers or just through the proxy of not being Alexander, who follows as “King of the World” plays. Alexander slowly stalks to the ring, keeping the hood on his sweatshirt pulled up until his name is announced during the big-match introductions from Mike Elevenbee. “Main Event” Mel Creech holds the championship over his head and signals for the bell with Alexander immediately taking charge with a series of takedowns, and a bit of trash talk when Lexie was struggling to escape. Now with both Darlings on their feet, Lexie unleashes a booming bitchslap before taking Alexander down with a Thesz Press and a fierce ground-and-pound attack that is only stopped when Creech threatens disqualification. As Lexie relents to argue with Creech, Alexander sits up and locks Lexie in a seated bulldog choke that is escaped quickly as the two roll away and look at each other. Alexander is able to grab control and begin working the arm, putting Lexie in a hammerlock before she mares him over with every ounce of her strength and starts peppering him with kicks all over before the adrenaline wears off and Lexie needs to catch her air after tossing a man 92 pounds heavier over her head. Alexander pops up and takes the fight back to Lexie, backing her in a corner and face-washing her before she sneaks in a boot to the stomach. Alexander replies with a slap of his own, which only infuriates Lexie as she throws rapid-fire body shots and tops it off with a standing dropkick. As Alexander gathers his thoughts outside, Lexie shoves him into the barricade via suicide dive to get the crowd firmly behind her.
Lexie heads back inside to break up the count and tries to springboard herself to the outside, but Alexander is able to goozle Lexie on the barricade on her way down. A scoop slam on the padding and a very rough urinage on the apron puts Alexander in firm control. Alexander starts working the neck and back of Lexie, with his sister slowly starting to fade while in a chin lock. Alexander, talking trash to anyone who has working ears, grinds his forearm in Lexie’s face and puts his full weight on a reverse chin lock, draping himself on Lexie’s shoulders while propping his feet on the nearby ropes. Creech, not in position to see Alexander’s liberal use of the fixtures, checks on a submission with a profane reply serving as Lexie’s answer. Lexie tries to muscle herself up, but Alexander’s weight and added leverage are too much for Lexie to overcome here, but Creech does see Alexander’s boots on the ropes and calls for a break that happens at 4. Alexander, still in charge, stands Lexie up and places her on the top turnbuckle before a palm strike to her chin slumps her head downward. Alexander catches her head and climbs to the middle turnbuckle, dropping into an avalanche DDT that gets 2.5. Alexander picks Lexie up into position for a Darling Driver, but Lexie senses the impending danger and is able to boot her way free, causing both to tumble to the mat.
With Lexie using the ropes to get to her feet, Alexander slowly stalks his opponent and grabs her hair, only to get a jab to the throat and then the jaw with Lexie getting enough separation to catch her air and work some feeling back into her shoulder region. Alexander charges a bit faster as Lexie drops down and pulls the top rope down with her, sending Alexander crashing to the mats outside. Lexie, learning from previous mistakes, stays inside as Alexander takes his sweet time to get inside. Lexie acts quickly once Alexander is back inside, grabbing a side headlock, running to the corner and hitting a modified Dudley Dawg that gets 2. Lexie, with Alexander face down on the mat, pulls up on his left arm and cranks in a Rings of Saturn submission. Lexie breaks the hold and begins stomping at the shoulders and elbows of Alexander as “Scarecrow” bellows over the public address, causing both Darlings to pause and look to the back. After 30 seconds, there’s no sign of anyone, but Alexander pulls Lexie into a lung blower and floats over into Death by Darling. Lexie is able to plank herself and twist out, but gets little relief as Alex resumes working on Lexie’s shoulders and neck. With Lexie weakened, Alex scoops her up in position for a tombstone piledriver, but changes his mind and hits a shoulder-breaker that gets 2.5. As Lexie tries to get some space, “Scarecrow” plays again, but like last time there is nobody associated with that music present at or near ringside. Alexander, now showing his frustration, begins to argue with Creech while pointing to the back. During the argument, Lexie sneaks in and rolls Alexander up for 2. Lexie pulls Alexander down with a codebreaker that also gets 2 as Lexie is starting to feel the tide shifting her way. With Alexander on the mat, Lexie twists her way into a Darling Clutch. Alexander fights his way out, but is laboring as he tries to stand. Lexie stays on the offensive with an axe bomber that sends Alexander tumbling over the ropes and to the outside. Lexie teases a suicide dive, causing Alexander to stumble backward and over the Oregonian Announce Table, where a little color can be seen on his forehead. As Creech starts the count, Lexie stops the count, wanting to win the match inside the ring. Lexie, with her back turned to Alexander, doesn’t see the forearm to the back of her head that sends her head into Creech’s, knocking both silly. Alexander, heads back to the outside and grabs the championship, rolling back in as Lexie is just now on one knee. Alexander loads up a belt shot only for “Scarecrow” to play a third time. Alexander spikes the belt to the mat and walks to the ropes, waving on whomever might come out, but nothing. Lexie slides in and schoolboys Alexander, getting 2.9 from a dazed Creech. Alexander shoves Lexie off and drills her with a lariat to get 2.9 of his own. Alexander looks down at Lexie before scooping her onto his right shoulder with Emerald Frosion in mind, but “Scarecrow” plays again. Alexander drops Lexie onto the mat, again staring at the ramp. As Creech tries to get Alexander back in the ring, Lexie delivers a spear to stumble Alexander into a corner. A repeated set of running double-knee strikes dazes Alexander before Lexie hits a shotgun dropkick to slump him in the corner, where a running knee strike turns out Alexander’s lights for a second.
Then the lights go out in the arena. After 15 seconds, Alexander and Lexie are both in fighting stances with Jack Quinn standing between them, but Jack is not looking to attack either combatant. In fact, Jack has a very blank stare before Creech waves in enough security to escort Jack from the ring without incident. With Creech looking away, Alexander reaches for the championship again, only to be met with a codebreaker that drops Alexander’s jaw right on the front plate. Lexie hooks both legs and hangs on for dear life as Creech counts 3, stunning everyone in the arena.
Your winner, (pinfall, 20:35) and NEW OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, Lexie Darling.
Afterward, Lexie stares at the championship that is now hers as a few overzealous fans try to congratulate her. Alexander rolls away and stares at the floor while Lexie is overcome with emotions with the feed cutting out.
OOWF Saturday Slam – April 22, 2023 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
OOWF Intercontinental Championship four-way elimination matches • Match 1: Justin Sane vs. Sandra Fallon vs. Jeff Mangyuniku vs. Awesome Bill From Dawsonville The match begins as Mel Creech signals for the bell with Banned From Everywhere standing back to back as Sandra and Jeff form a proxy union for the time being. Awesome Bill and Jeff pair off slugging away at each other while Justin and Sandra begin an odd chain-wrestling sequence that sees Sandra clearly get the better of Justin, despite Justin’s denials that he pulled Sandra’s hair for leverage. Sandra never protested, nor did Mel inquire. A crushing lariat from Awesome Bill sends Jeff to the outside with Awesome Bill following as neither man is getting too far ahead. Inside the ring, Justin tries to schoolboy Sandra, getting 1 before the rookie replies with a powerful kickout and a scoop slam. Sandra stomps away at Justin’s back as Awesome Bill rolls into the ring and saves his partner from further stomping. As Sandra and Awesome Bill size each other up, Jeff sneaks in and tries to cover a still-downed Justin, getting 2 before Awesome Bill breaks up the attempt. As Awesome Bill tries to help his partner to his feet, Justin snares him in a small package with Sandra and Jeff jumping on the pile as Creech counts off 3.
Awesome Bill from Dawsonville has been eliminated (pinfall, 3:20).
Awesome Bill snaps to his feet wondering what happened when Justin smiles at him. Awesome Bill, while somewhat annoyed, nods in respect to Justin’s quick thinking and pats him on the shoulder before departing without incident. Justin – still in celebration mode – is drilled by a thrust kick from Jeff that gets 2.5. Sandra pulls Jeff off of the cover and drills him in the head with a heel kick to the jaw. Sandra then places both opponents in opposite corners, hitting a running boot to Jeff and then Justin as Jeff lay on the mat. Sandra tries to cover Justin, getting 2.5, and then Jeff for 2 as Justin lunges over to break up the count.
RUSS: “Not sure I get the strategy there. Justin Sane breaking up a count that would have made his night easier with one less opponent in the ring.” RAZZ: “Strategy and Justin Sane are rarely used in the same book, let alone the same sentence. It’s best to just nod your head and let him learn from his mistakes.”
While on their knees, Justin and Sandra begin slugging away at each other with Jeff coming to and joining the fray. All three are welcoming of the increasing roar from the crowd as Jeff surges to his feet and begins hammering away on both opponents. Jeff hits the ropes and drills Justin with a running knee before Sandra connects with an exploder suplex on Jeff that gets 2. Jeff, now a bit woozy, ducks Justin’s crossbody attempt that sends Justin crashing to the outside barricade in a heap. Sandra tries to link Jeff up in a crucifix pin attempt, but gets dropped unceremoniously before Jeff helps Sandra to her feet, grabs an arm and delivers Kaze Ni Nare. Sandra is out for well beyond the 3 that Creech issues.
Sandra Fallon has been eliminated (pinfall, 8:24).
With the crowd firmly behind Jeff, he rolls to the outside to get Justin back into the ring. Justin clings to the bottom rope until Creech steps in to demand a rope break, despite the no-disqualification rules of this match. Justin reluctantly rolls in only for Jeff to try to wrap him up in a pinning combination. The two roll around on the mat until Jeff grabs Justin and powers his way to a standing position, with Justin in hand, and spikes him down with a Mangyuniku Driver that gets 2.75. Jeff stays on the offensive, using a Blue Thunder Bomb that also gets 2.75 and a look of disbelief from Jeff, who then peppers Justin with a set of kicks to the chest until Justin pops up and stops Jeff’s momentum with a high-risk headlock that carries both men to the outside and all the way to the top of the ramp. Justin misses a blind charge and goes hard into the video wall, giving Jeff the chance to shake the cobwebs and slowly bring Justin back to the ring. Justin breaks Jeff’s grip and posts Jeff, living him writhing on the mat as Justin gets a familiar look in his eye. Realizing what’s about to happen, Jeff scrambles underneath the ring as Justin unleashes a DOUUUUUGGGGHHHHAAAAAAAAWWWWWKKKKKK!
The lights go out as various sound effects from classic Super Mario Bros. games are heard, including a loop of 1Up mushroom noises before Justin’s most recent attempt at karaoke is shown on the video wall. The lights come back on with Justin dressed as Elvis Presley and Jeff nowhere to be found. Justin and Creech look around before Jeff, sporting a cape and black mask over his eyes, swoops in from above and delivers a brutal guitar shot to Justin, getting an academic 3 in the process.
Your winner and the first combatant for the OOWF Intercontinental Championship (pinfall, 11:30), Jeff Mangyuniku!
Afterward, Jeff – having doffed the mask and cape – checks on Justin, who keeps talking about a mysterious man with a guitar. Jeff denies any knowledge of the “El Jeff” that fans are now chasing for as Creech, who saw the whole thing, shrugs and raises Jeff’s hand.
Match 2: Bridget O’Malley vs. Diego “Pop” Roxton vs. Angie Delpetro vs. Nuke Gavin “Junior” Hale inspects all four combatants before asking for the bell with Nuke dropping to the outside, much to the dismay of fans in attendance. Angie, still suffering the effects of her loss to Katie Bardoor, tries to limp away from Diego while Bridget cuts Angie off with a urinage. Angie barely kicks out as Nuke slides in to sneak in a few shots on Diego, only to have that go very badly. Bridget joins the beatdown as Nuke pinballs between the two, eating an elbow from Diego that almost turns Nuke’s lights out. Diego reaches down to pick Nuke up, but is halted by Nuke’s testicular claw that almost gets a submission before Bridget breaks up the hold, if you can call it that. While Bridget and Nuke are occupied with each other, Angie tries to sneak in a rear naked choke on Diego, but can’t get it fully locked in before the Bahamian rolls free and kips up. Angie dropkicks Diego’s leg and then follows with a Shining Wizard attempt that is ducked with plenty of time to spare by Diego.
RUSS: “I’m not sure that she could have telegraphed it any more if Angie would have sent Diego a text message to tell him it was coming.” RAZZ: “But that’s the kind of risk she’s willing to take. She knows she’s scouted and she stays within her game.”
Diego, now in control, corners Angie and begins to clap along with the fans between strikes, establishing a rhythm with a big smile on his face. Nuke, having posted Bridget, waylays Diego with a running Give ‘Em the Boot, sneaking a flash pin with his feet very much on the ropes and held on by both Angie and Annie.
Diego “Pop” Roxton has been eliminated (pinfall, 4:51).
Nuke and Angie nod at each other, seemingly forming a temporary union as they descend to the outside and start working Bridget over. Nuke slams Bridget onto the apron as Angie waits with an elbow drop. Nuke and Angie roll Bridget inside and both try to pin her, but she kicks out at 1 as neither did much to put weight across her shoulders. Bridget gets to her feet and ducks a clothesline try by Nuke and catches a charging Angie, hitting a belly-to-belly suplex that gets 2, only because Nuke dashed in to make the save. Bridget, without an in-ring ally, starts to fluster the two rookies with hit-and-run strikes, getting plenty of offense in on Nuke and Angie while coming away from the exchanges relatively unscathed. Nuke does get in a kidney punch to Bridget’s side, halting her almost immediately as Hale steps in to check on the downed wrestler.
RAZZ: “Nuke is a dirt-cheap fighter and I kind of respect that about him. He’ll do what it takes to win and for a young kid like he is, that might be the difference between getting the big matches and spending Saturdays in catering.”
Nuke tries to get past Hale to inflict more punishment to Bridget, but is unsuccessful as Hale questions if Bridget can keep going, only getting affirmative responses from the Pennsylvanian. With Hale distracted, Angie tempts fate by taking out her trusty chloroform rag with Nuke in her sights. Angie is stopped by Annie, who hops on the apron and grabs her arm. As the two women argue, Nuke connects with a second Give ‘Em the Boot, covering Angie and getting an eventual 3 from Hale, who deemed that Bridget was able to continue while the commotion was going on behind his back.
Angie Delpetro has been eliminated (10:10).
Nuke tries to catch Bridget off guard with another Give ‘Em the Boot, but the veteran sidesteps the charge and lets Nuke crash chest-first into the corner. Bridget then grabs a waistlock and flips that to a Bridget to Nowhere German suplex that gets 2. Nuke slides away to take a powder, with Bridget following. As Bridget gives chase to Nuke as he tries to slide away on the floor, Angie jumps on Bridget’s back to distract her long enough so Nuke could pull out a set of brass knuckles and plant a right hand firmly on Bridget’s jaw. Bridget crumbles to the floor as Nuke and Angie try to roll the deadweight fighter inside. Nuke tries to pin Bridget, but she manages to get a shoulder up at 2.9. Nuke sets Bridget up in a corner, looking to finish off a third opponent with Give ‘Em the Boot, but is met with a discus forearm from Bridget, who then fires off an O’Mallet that gets 2. Bridget, still fighting the daze from the brass knuckles shot, takes off her elbow pad while seemingly calling for Red Death. With Nuke groggily getting to a standing position, Bridget tries to bounce off of the ropes, only for Annie to pull the top rope down and send Bridget to the outside. While Annie claims innocence and this is all no-disqualification, Hale exercises his right to eject Annie from ringside, having caught the whole thing. Annie protests. Nuke profanely protests. Hale doesn’t care. Annie slowly walks to the back while Bridget slowly crawls back inside with Nuke viciously stomping away at his weakened foe. While this is happening, a tall figure dressed in a yellow hooded sweatshirt with the hood up, jeans and black Converse All-Stars runs into the ring only to get promptly swarmed on and tackled by security. As the figure is taken away, Bridget pops up and drills Nuke with a Red Death elbow, getting 3 from Hale.
Your winner and the second combatant for the OOWF Intercontinental Championship (pinfall, 14:39), Bridget O’Malley!
Afterward, Nuke kicks the bottom rope and swears that the faceless figure was Mac Flasher. Bridget, seeing a replay of the chaos on the OOWFTron is now furious at the idea of Mac assisting her in any way, but she’s also not going to give up her spot in two weeks as Jeff Mangyuniku walks out to congratulate her on the victory. Nuke, now joined by his barricade-jumping father Adam Jennings, is still berating Hale as the feed cuts away to an advertisement for “OOWF Ghost Stories with Josie,” a new show on OOWF.tv Kids, also free for $6.66 per month.
OOWF Rookie Showcase battle royal • Rory Thomas, PORK, Sean Franklin, Ona Jones, Pete Quick, The Woodsmen (Hunter and Dakota), The Electric Company (Joe and Jamie), The One-Notes (Carrie and Harper) and The Battling Baristas (Brynn and Tara) The 12 non-PORK combatants eye up the largest wrestler in the ring, quickly converging on him with a 12-on-1 assault to try to get him over the top rope. PORK humors the attempt for a few seconds before bursting through the collected pile of humanity with a roar and almost feral aggression, sending Pete, Brynn and Hunter to the outside with relative ease. Everyone else backs off as PORK encourages anyone to try him. Ona tries her hand, actually locking PORK into a victory roll, but that’s not going to work here as PORK rolls through and casually disposes of Ona.
RUSS: “Coming into this battle royal, PORK was the odds-on favorite to win, but even wouldn’t have guessed that he’d have the first four eliminations by himself.” RAZZ: “Partner, you’re looking at a man who has the experience and tools to succeed in OOWF. Now he has a mentor who has done it all. If I’m the eventual OOWF World Champion, I gotta be looking over my shoulder for this guy.”
Tara and Rory pair off, battling for leverage along the ropes before Hunter dumps both wrestlers over. Sean Franklin then tries to get Hunter over the top, but is halted by both members of The Electric Company, who hit a pair of slick double-team moves on the former collegiate grappler. With Sean woozy, Joe tries to clothesline him out, catching only air and the outside mat. Jamie charges Sean next and gets backdropped onto Joe, leaving Hunter, Sean, both of The One-Notes and PORK. Hunter tries to form a unit with Sean and PORK, which the veteran is receptive toward. Sean gives Hunter a wanking motion and a shot to the jaw, as Carrie and Harper sit back and watch the others scrap. Sean and Hunter exchange fierce rights as Sean does try to grapple Hunter over the top, getting him onto the apron before before PORK hits both men with the Bacon Bounce (Pounce), driving Hunter to the outside and crushing Sean against the ropes, making him easy pickings for PORK to toss him. The One-Notes, who have barely done anything since the opening assault on PORK, stand alone with PORK with the crowd firmly behind the charismatic big man. Carrie tries her hand at PORK first, getting a Porcine Elbow and a flip, flop and fly right hand for her troubles. Harper clips PORK’s knee as The One-Notes begin to seize control. The wannabe crooners hammer away at PORK, working over his back and legs while the fans are borderline riotous in their support for the veteran. As the duo stands PORK up, Carrie tries to hold his arms as Harper fires a right hand that misses the ducking PORK and puts Carrie to sleep. PORK grabs Harper by her hair and sends her over the top rope and on her feet. Carrie, still out, is gently lifted by PORK and tossed into the unexpectedly open arms of Harper, knocking her over to meet the requirement of Carrie’s feet hitting the floor.
Your winner (elimination of Carrie, 8:26), PORK!
PORK drops to his knees and soaks in the moment as OOWF fans sing-song adorations to the big man.
RUSS: “As dominant an effort that you’ll ever see in a battle royal. PORK just mowed through almost everyone, hardly breaking a sweat in the process.” RAZZ: “PORK was a man on a mission tonight. If I see that I’m supposed to be standing across the ring from him in the future, I might call in sick. You know, use that ‘card subject to change’ clause in my contract.”
OOWF World Championship four-way elimination matches Match 1: Kylie Mignolio vs. Mac Flasher vs. Zed vs. Alexander Darling With Alexander sitting on the top turnbuckle, completely disconnected from the other three in the ring, Davis Hightower calls for the bell with Mac, Zed and Kylie circling each other with no one too eager to make the first move. Finally, Kylie stuns Mac with a dropkick to the jaw, opening the door for Zed and Kylie to hit a double suplex on Mac with Kylie getting 1 out of the cover. Mac pops up, ducks a dropkick try by Kylie and sidesteps a lariat from Zed as they pile up in the corner opposite of Alexander’s perch. Mac hits both with a jumping corner splash, peeling Zed off and hoisting Kylie up to the top turnbuckle. Mac then presses Kylie onto Zed, inadvertently giving her a cover try that gets 2. Zed and Mac then hit a double knee lift on Kylie as all three have given and taken tandem offense from one another. While the crowd appreciates the stand-off, Alexander only now descends from the top turnbuckle to roll to the outside and sit on the steps, facing away from the ring.
RUSS: “Not sure if this is some sound strategy from Alexander to avoid contact as long as possible or if he’s just not giving two shits about this match.” RAZZ: “I always err on the side of genius when it comes to Alexander Darling.”
It’s Zed who heads to the outside to confront Alexander, getting into a bit of an argument with him before Kylie makes things physical with a flying forearm smash that knocks Alexander off of his perch. Mac jumps down to get Alexander back into the ring as the three stand alongside each other with Alexander ready to tear into all three, despite the numbers disadvantage. Zed is the first to charge in with a hockey fight following that Alexander gets the better of when he goes to the eyes. A quick gutwrench suplex is enough to get 2 until Mac makes the save. Alexander gator rolls Mac’s leg and gets into a half-crab submission attempt that is stopped by Kylie, who bulldogs Alexander before missing a standing moonsault. With all three opponents down, Alexander picks Mac to start an assault, attempting a buckle bomb, but getting stopped as Kylie and Zed both pull Mac down.
RAZZ: “It’s the damnedest thing. These three conceivably have a big numbers advantage on Alexander Darling, but they all are choosing to fight him one-on-one.” RUSS: “They’re still mostly honorable people.” RAZZ: “Russ, there is no honor greater than holding the OOWF World Championship. Whatever dishonor comes from what you have to do to get there is secondary. A little dishonor goes a long way in a match like this.”
Right on cue, Kylie and Zed both start to assault Alexander, cornering him before Mac races in with a running knee lift. Mac dumps Alexander to the mat as Kylie climbs to the top rope with a 450 in mind. At the last second, Alexander pulls Mac into Kylie’s aerial path, causing the two to bump heads. With those two discombobulated, Alexander slides behind Kylie and gets a schoolboy for 2.5. Mac stomps Kylie by accident as Alexander moves away from the save attempt. With Kylie downed, Alexander wrecks Mac and Zed with a lariat for each of them. Kylie jumps onto Alexander’s back and tries to sleeper him out, but cannot get the hold fully locked in as Alexander dumps her onto a still-downed Mac. Zed jumps up and catches Alexander with a sling blade and tilt-a-whirl backbreaker that gets 2.5. Zed keeps the pressure on Alexander while Mac and Kylie recover. Zed heads to the corner with the Four-Corners Offense in mind as he slings Alexander to each corner where he then delivers 10 mounted punches, almost completing the circuit before Alexander carries Zed from the final corner and delivers an inverted atomic drop. During the chaos, Nuke emerges from under the Spanish announce table with a kendo stick and delivers a hellacious beating to Mac – busting him open – while Annie dumps Kylie from the ring. Alexander seizes the opportunity to lessen the odds, getting an easy 3.
Mac Flasher has been eliminated (pinfall, 11:33).
Zed confronts Nuke after the beating, hitting him with a strong right cross just as OOWF Security arrive to escort Nuke and Annie away. The damage was done to Kylie, however as Annie had worked over her knee with the assistance of the ring post. Alexander dumps Zed to the side and starts to work on Kylie, hammering away at her knee with punches. With Alexander viciously working over Kylie’s knee, Josie – still in her DEA jersey (don’t worry, it’s been washed since the April 8 show) walks onto the ramp with concern in her eyes. Alexander catches Josie from the corner of his eye, easing up the attack a little bit. Kylie tries to stand, but falls. After four attempts, Hightower waves in OOWF Medical.
Kylie Mignolio has been eliminated (unable to continue, 15:01).
Zed and Alexander stand off as Kylie is helped to the back as a very concerned Josie looks on while also shooting wicked glares toward Alexander. The jersey isn’t coming off, however. Zed, fueled by rage, takes the fight to Alexander with a flurry of punches and forearms. Alexander tries to weather the storm, but eventually is buried and can only cover up while Zed unleashes hell. As The Reverend BRICK~! toddles to ringside, Zed gets 2 off a DDT and 2 again when he hits a running neckbreaker. Zed, going full steam ahead, whips Alexander from pillar to post while shouting sentiments such as “WHY DO YOU DISAPPOINT HER?” and “YOU DON’T DESERVE TO HAVE HER LOOK UP TO YOU!” With Zed mounting the corner with Alexander unable to escape, Zed’s attempt at a hurrancanrana is blocked with Zed crashing to the mat. Alexander stacks Zed in a matchbook pin and uses the ropes and Zed’s tights to get the flash victory.
Your winner and the first combatant for the OOWF World Championship (pinfall, 19:53), Alexander Darling!
The crowd, very much not into the result, pelt the ring with garbage as Alexander retrieves his sweatshirt and puts it back on before briskly walking to the back.
RUSS: “While he had help that even he may not have known he had coming, Alexander Darling defied the odds and came away the winner of this match.” RAZZ: “Not only did he win, but the record books are going to show that he personally eliminated all three. The books don’t note if he had help or not.” RUSS: “Wikipedia will, however.”
The feed shows Russ furiously clacking away at a document on his laptop before fading into a highlight package for the second World Championship elimination match.
• Match 2: Katie Bardoor vs. Lexie Darling vs. Jack Quinn vs. Beverly Cambridge The intros are all done and the four competitors stand in the ring in opposite corners. The bell rings and the four of them meet in the middle and exchange handshakes. The last two being Lexie and Jack, and they more sort of kind of fist bump than actually shake hands. The action begins immediately when Katie takes Bev to the mat with a double leg take down and hammers her with shots to the side of the head. Bev slips free and gets to her feet, as Katie stands, Bev charges and takes them both over the top rope with a clothesline. That leaves Jack and Lexie in the ring. The two slowly circle while the crowd roars with anticipation. They lock up and……spend the next two minutes chain wrestling? Jack and Lexie put on a clinic of holds and counter holds, ending with them both kiping to their feet and looking at one another, and immediately getting clotheslined by Bev and Katie. Katie covers Lexie, and Bev covers Jack, but both are out well before two. The action continues back and forth for several minutes. Katie lifts Jack in a press slam and throws him over the top rope to the floor, then dives over the top rope and lands a huge senton. Inside the ring, Lexie hammers Bev with chops and kicks backing her toward the ropes. On the outside, Katie is on her feet waiting for Jack to stand, as he does Katie charges but Jack catches her with a backdrop, then climbs onto the apron behind Bev. Lexie grabs Bev and tries to whip her across the ring, but Bev immediately reverses it and sends Lexie to the ropes, where her knee connects with Jack’s head as he is climbing into the ring! Jack flies off the apron and slams head first into the guardrail and collapses to the floor. Inside, Bev grabs Lexie as she staggers backward and rolls her up for a two count. As Lexie kicks out, Katie slips back into the ring and catches Bev and PLANTS her with a DDT. Katie covers, but Lexie recovers in time and breaks up the pin at two. Outside the ring, Jack is slowly getting to his feet, he staggers a little bit and grabs his head, and when he pulls his hand away we see blood. Inside the ring, Lexie sends Katie to the ropes and drops her head, but Katie stands her up with a kick to the jaw, then grabs her and is about to hit a ripcord clothesline, when we see Jack climb onto the apron, reach for the middle rope and completely miss. Jack falls face first to the apron, then falls to the floor. Katie releases Lexie and slides out of the ring, the referee immediately leaves the ring as well. They check on Jack while inside the ring, Katie takes Lexie to the mat and tries to work her into a crossface, but Lexie fights it and slowly works toward the ropes. Outside the ring the ref makes the dreaded X sign. Medical officials rush to the ring and they help Katie get Jack to his feet and they help him to the back. The referee slides back into the ring just as Lexie gets to the ropes forcing the break. Bev pulls Lexie to her feet and sends her to the ropes and catches her on the rebound with a belly to belly suplex for a two count. Bev jumps to her feet and heads to the corner and climbs the ropes and waits for Lexie to get to her feet. As Lexie stands, Bev leaps for a missile drop kick, but Lexie moves out of the way and Bev crashes and burns! As Bev writhes in pain on the mat, Lexie slowly gets to her feet. The crowd begins to murmur as GM the Fire makes her way to the ring, she says something to the referee and the time keeper……
Jack Quinn has been counted out. Jack Quinn is eliminated
As Bev stands, Lexie grabs her from behind and hits the FLORIDA KEY! Lex bridges hard the ref hits the mat, one…..two…..THREE!
Beverly Cambridge has been eliminated
As Lexie gets to her feet, the crowd pops loudly and we see Katie Bardoor making her way back to the ring, and she is not happy. She steps between the ropes and she gets right in Lexie’s face and accuses her of intentionally hitting Jack. Tempers flare, and Katie steps away and pulls off her shirt (still wearing a sports bra, calm down perverts> Razz: SHIRT OFF FISTS UP RUSS! HERE WE GO! The two circle then charge at one another and the fists are flying! Katie gets the better of it by landing a couple of stiff shots to the side of Lexie’s head. Katie turns to chops and blisters Lexie backing her into the corner. She sends Lexie to the opposite corner and charges in with a huge clothesline, then grabs a side headlock and tries a bulldog out of the corner, but Lexie throws her off. As Katie gets to her feet Lexie charges out and hits a hurracarana that sends Katie sliding under the bottom rope. Lexie waits for Katie to stand and dives between the ropes, but Katie catches her on her shoulders in mid air and goes for the GTSF, but Lex slips off her back and shoves her back first into the guardrail, Lexie charges at Katie but KB backdrops her into the crowd, Lex lands on her feet, Katie turns around and Lexie springs onto the guardrail and leaps at Katie, but KB catches her and POWERSLAMS her on the floor! Katie rolls Lexie into the ring and covers, but Lexie kicks out at two. Katie pulls Lexie up and lifts her in a vertical suplex and keeps her up there FOREVER, then drops her stomach first onto the top rope for a springboard JACKHAMMER! Another cover, but Lexie kicks out at two. Katie pulls Lexie up and whips her to the corner and charges in for a clothesline, but Lexie gets the boot up and catches Katie on the jaw. Lex grabs Katie and plants her on the mat with a scorpion drop and covers, but Katie kicks out at two. Lex lifts Katie up for the DARLING DRIVER, but Katie slips off her back and locks in the tazzmission! Katie falls to the mat and tries to lock it in, but Lexie fights it with everything she has. Lexie is fading fast as Katie locks the hold in even tighter, finally Lexie is able to get her feet free and roll Katie over onto her back, before Katie can right herself, the referee falls to the mat, one, two, THREE!
WINNER in 27:44 – Alexis Darling
Katie slams the mat in frustration as the referee raises Alexis’ arm. But she gets to her feet and takes a deep breath and offers her hand to Alexis, Lexie looks at her for a moment, then shakes her hand. Katie raises Lexie’s arm in victory, then rolls out of the ring and heads to the back allowing Lexie to soak in the win.
OOWF Saturday Slam – April 8, 2023 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• Mac Flasher vs. Awesome Bill From Dawsonville “Freebird” plays out Awesome Bill From Dawsonville, who is sporting a cap and gown – with no sleeves – to play off his comments concerning Mac Flasher’s statical chances of victory. As Awesome Bill does math on a conveniently placed chalkboard outside of the ring, “I Get Wet” signals the arrival of Mac, who heads to the ring and waits for Masato Misawa to get the match started. As the bell echoes, Mac and Awesome Bill circle each other before tying up. Awesome Bill stands firm as Mac tries to back him in a corner, so Mac hits a belly-to-belly suplex and gets 1.5 per Misawa’s count. Awesome Bill fights back and sends things to the corner, where the two exchange blows before Mac gets caught with a haymaker. Bill then starts to stomp away at Mac before missing a half-ring charge. Mac tries to pull Bill down into a sunset flip, but cannot budge him.
Awesome Bill start to club Mac down, tossing him with ease across the ring and back. A backdrop suplex gets 2. Bill keeps the pressure on Mac with a front facelock, wearing him down enough to take things to the mat. After roughly a minute, Mac starts to work his way back to a standing position and unleashes a boot to the gut to break Bill’s grip. Mac snaps off a Northern Lights suplex for 2, following with a top-rope clothesline. A second try get Mac a power slam for his efforts. Bill gets 2 on the cover, pulling Mac to his feet. Go Dawgs! gets 2 only because Mac’s arm was sprawled under the bottom rope. While Bill thinks he’s won, Misawa attempts to correct the big Georgian while Nuke dashes through the crowd and hits Mac with a “Give ‘Em The Boot” right in the official’s view.
Your winner (disqualification, 5:03), Mac Flasher!
Afterward, Bill drops down to confront Nuke while Mac comes to his senses and starts to brawl with the rookie. Bill joins the fray, punching anyone who moves while Misawa frantically tries to break up the fracas. Nuke hops over the railing and escapes further damage while Mac and Bill shake hands to show that there are no hard feelings.
• Bridget O’Malley vs. Alexander Darling “Crown on the Ground” plays with Bridget O’Malley and Josie standing atop the ramp. Josie in her DEA jersey, despite Bridget’s wishes that she not wear something in support of her opponent. Bridget strides to the ring and bounces off of the ropes a few times before “King of the World” brings out Alexander Darling with the hood of his sweatshirt making it hard to see any sort of facial expression. Alexander coyly fistbumps Josie as he walks past, causing the pre-teen “manager” to do all but swoon in her reaction. Josie, while looking at a nearby camera, swears to never wash that hand again while Alexander slides under the bottom rope, discards his sweatshirt and waits for the bell. Mel Creech calls for it as Bridget tries a roundhouse kick that glances Alexander’s jaw. Bridget charges in, but Alexander is able to wrestle her to the ground before the two trade top position. The two stand off as the crowd reacts accordingly. While Josie is now the Beverly Cambridge-required 15 feet away from the ring, she shouts encouragement to Bridget, but also requests that she not hurt Alexander too much.
Bridget wins a slugfest and tries a quick crossbody that gets 1. The two then criss-cross until Alexander hits a pounce that crashes Bridget to the floor. Alexander drops to the outside where another slugfest ensues, this time with Alexander getting the edge and posting Bridget. Back inside, Alexander works a headlock into a neck crank that is broken when Bridget is able to get her ankle over the bottom rope. Alexander breaks at 3, before dragging Bridget to the center of the ring and puts on a chinlock that Bridget is able to escape, but she walks into a lariat that gets 2. Bridget pops up after the cover and stuns Alexander with a forearm shiver before sending him to the corner. Bridget works Alexander over with about a dozen punches all over before starting to drive her shoulder into his torso. Josie is cheering, but also worried about Alexander, who is in an OOWF ring for the first time in 32 months.
Bridget pulls Alexander out of the corner, spins him around and connects on a Bridget to Nowhere Suplex that gets 2. Bridget keeps her grip and tries again, also getting 2. A third suplex gets 2.5. Bridget tries one more time, but cannot keep the bridge as Alexander looked to be too punch drunk to kick out. Bridget is up first and pulls off her elbow pad as Josie can be heard screaming “NOT TO THE FACE!” Bridget tries Red Death, but Alexander ducks and gets a backdrop suplex that puts Bridget on the apron. With both wrestlers down, Creech starts the count and gets to 7 before Alexander is upright. Bridget follows suit as the two start another slugfest that Bridget wins. Bridget tries to slingshot herself into the ring, but is rocked by a well-timed knee to the jaw on her way inside.
RUSS: “Bridget isn’t the high-risk type, but she tried it here and paid for it.” RAZZ: “She’s never held the big prize in OOWF. This is her chance to put her name in that conversation. A win over Alex Darling keeps her in that conversation for a long time.”
Alexander picks Bridget up to her feet and lifts Bridget in position for a Darling Driver, but Bridget shifts her weight down to break free. The two clothesline each other as Creech gets the count to 8 before Bridget is up. She positions herself to throw an O’Mallet at Alexander that gets 2, but bloodies his lip. Now with Alexander dazed, Bridget steps back and spins toward him with her right elbow, but again gets air. Bridget avoids a grapple from Alexander, instead winning a slugfest and getting him in the air for a slam, but Alexander grabs the top rope to halt the physical momentum, toppling the two to the mat with Alexander on top. Alexander gets his feet on the middle rope and holds Bridget down for 3.
Your winner (pinfall, 11:19), Alexander Darling!
Josie, rushes to the ring to check on Bridget and also glare at Alexander for his actions. Alexander shrugs and rolls out of the ring while Josie explains what happened while also keeping both eyes on Alexander the entire time.
• Kylie Mignolio vs. Diego “Pop” Roxton With Diego Roxton already in the ring, “Jaded” draws out Kylie Mignolio and Josie – still in her DEA jersey – to wild applause. Kylie enters the ring with Diego holding the ropes for her. Kylie nods in appreciation as OOWF official Ben Coleman inspects both combatants before signaling for the bell. Diego throws a few quick jabs that catch nothing but air as Kylie is able to dodge everything with ease, but with awareness that one shot from Diego could lead to a massive upset. Kylie keeps her distance, trying to find an opening for a strike of her own, hitting a kick or two to Diego’s hamstrings that give the spunky New Yorker enough of an advantage to attempt a running bulldog that is countered into an atomic drop and a palm strike to the jaw that gets a quick 2. Diego continues with his attack, bringing Kylie to the mat with a snap mare and then a couple quick kicks to the spine. Kylie escapes with a Pele kick and immediately hits the ropes before a sliding dropkick to Diego’s knee drops him to the mat. Kylie then starts to work a hammerlock on the downed Diego, bridging it in an attempt to gain a submission.
RUSS: “Shades of Sizzlechest Manbeef with that bridging hammerlock. Sizzlechest didn’t win often, but if he got that locked on, you probably were going to tap out.”
Kylie, while flexible, can’t hold a bridge forever and eventually releases her grip. Kylie stands Diego up with the intent of locking an abdominal stretch, but is easily hip-tossed by her larger opponent. Diego fires off a pair of headbutts, staggering Kylie before a pair of right hands sends her on her back. With Diego winning over some of the neutral fans, he heads to the top with a big splash in mind, getting nothing on Kyle as she rolls away before takeoff. The winded Diego tries to sit up, but falls victim to a standing moonsault from Kylie that gets 2.5. Kylie takes to the ropes to hit a top-rope moonsault that gets the job done.
Your winner (pinfall, 5:43), Kylie Mignolio!
Afterward, Kylie helps Diego to his feet and pats him on the back before heading to the outside to acknowledge ringside fans.
• Katie Bardoor vs. Angie Delpetro With both rookies already in the ring, Angie Delpetro is more worried about insulting fans at ringside than her opponent, Katie Bardoor, who is eyeballing any opening that is presented to her. With Davis Hightower calling for the bell, Angie turns around into a right cross from Katie that sends the mob princess stumbling to the corner. Katie follows and starts working body shots to Angie as she cannot block fast enough. After a dozen shots to the ribcage, an uppercut almost turns off Angie’s lights. Katie sends the dazed Angie to the opposite corner thanks to an Irish whip, following closely with a corner clothesline to the back of Angie’s head. With Angie out on her feet in the corner, Katie begins working punches to Angie’s back, getting about six in before Hightower steps in between the combatants, calling for the bell.
RUSS: “Wait. Is Davis Hightower stopping the match? Why?” RAZZ: “It could be to save Angie or to disqualify Katie, who didn’t give Angie even a second to breathe once the fight started. Some officials will disqualify you for kicking too much ass, which I’ve never agreed with.”
Hightower consults ring announcer Mike Elevenbee with his decision as Angie can barely support herself in the corner while a confused Katie is ready to keep the brawl going. Hightower walks over to Katie and raises her arm, drawing a loud reaction from the fans in attendance.
Your winner (referee stoppage, 2:15), Katie Bardoor!
Afterward, Jack Quinn comes from the back and hugs Katie, who leaps into his arms, almost sending the pair tumbling to the ground. Angie rolls outside and stumbles up the ramp before OOWF trainers come to her aid.
• Jeff Mangyuniku vs. Lexie Darling Lexie grabs a headlock to start and hip tosses Jeff. They trade slaps in the corner with Lexie getting the better of the exchange. Jeff reverses out of a hip toss attempt and slams Lexie, and dropkicks her to the floor, following with a baseball slide. Jeff heads to the outside and peppers Lexie with a few forearms, and works her arm back in the ring. Lexie tries her own hip toss reversal, but Jeff holds his weight and keeps the advantage. Lexie works her way free with a few jabs and a pair of chops. Lexie fires off a Northern Lights suplex that gets 2. Lexie misses a knee drop, opening the door for Jeff to kip up and unleash a flurry of strikes before a scoop slam and a backbreaker.
RUSS: “Jeff knows he’s an underdog against an accomplished veteran like Lexie, but he’s not afraid of her at all.” RAZZ: “Jeff has this spirit that allowed him to go toe-to-toe with Kenny Omega in his first action as an OOWF wrestler. On a different day, we might be talking about this kid as someone who beat Kenny Omega.”
Jeff, with a scream to the crowd, loads up Kaze Ni Nare, but Lexie ducks under and leaps up to a crucifix position, toppling Jeff to the mat and getting a flash 3.
Your winner (pinfall, 3:42), Lexie Darling!
Lexie rolls out of the ring, a bit weary after the impact moves that she took just before the sudden pin. Jeff, sitting on the mat, pounds the canvas in frustration after getting caught by the more-experience Lexie, who nods in respect to the rookie.
• Sandra Fallon vs. Jack Quinn “Surf Wax America” by Weezer draws out Sandra Fallon who gets a warm welcome as she bounds to the ring. “Scarecrow” plays next as Jack Quinn comes out and is almost floored by the positive pop.
RAZZ: “Did you ever think we’d see the day when almost everyone in the arena was cheering the artist formerly known as Moosehead Jack?” RUSS: “Unless we were in Detroit, I never thought I’d see this day where fans outside of those who are going to root for the worst humans possible were happy to see Jack Quinn. Moosehead Jack. Whatever you want to call the guy.”
Jack smiles as referee Angelo Barros cakes for the bell. Sandra tries a single-leg takedown on Jack, who is able to work his way out of the attempt and drops into a grapple with the youngster, cradling her for 2.5 before she sends a boot to the temple. Jack releases his grip and immediately grabs his head with Barros checking intently.
RUSS: “While Jack Quinn was cleared to fight this week, he took a massive chair shot from Lexie Darling two weeks ago that might have put a lot of others on the shelf for far longer.” RAZZ: “I almost think that Jack may have considered forfeiting this match if not for what’s at stake. Jack is very aware of his limitations after so much time away from the ring, and I think he’s trying to ensure that he has time to enjoy post-wrestling life with his wife, Kali, while also taking advantage of this chance to add a chapter or two to his already overflowing legacy.”
Jack waves off Barros and sidesteps a charge from Sandra, who drives her shoulder into the ring post. Jack backs away as Barros asks Sandra if she wants to continue. Sandra nods yes as Jack smiles and seemingly dusts the youngster off. Jack and Sandra tie up with Jack backing Sandra to a corner and breaking cleanly before Barros can even request such a thing, surprising everyone except Jack it seems. The two tie up again with Sandra using a bit of underneath leverage to spin Jack into the same corner, breaking before Barros can call for it. The competitors respond with a respectful nod to one another, though Jack also is motioning for Sandra to bring more fire.
RUSS: “Jack Quinn is almost seeing this match as a means to mentor Sandra Fallon, who is making her in-ring debut in OOWF.” RAZZ: “Jack knows that the future of OOWF is only as strong as what follows him. He’s almost trying to ensure that it’s in good hands once he steps away, otherwise he may never step away.”
Sandra replies with a few forearms and chops, getting nods of approval from Jack, who then eats an elbow to the jaw that slumps him in the corner. Sandra continues the assault with a trio of chops and a monkey flip that segues into a surfboard submission attempt that only gets broken when Barros starts to count Sandra’s shoulders on the mat. Sandra, now in full control, grabs Jack and scoops him up with ease before slamming him, stunning everyone in attendance as she’s not a bulky combatant. Jack tries to back away, but Sandra hits a running knee that almost flattens Jack, getting 2.5, though Sandra was convinced that she was going to get 3. Undeterred, Sandra sets Jack up in the corner before drilling him with a running boot. In a daze, Jack crumbles to the mat as Barros rushes in to check on Jack who is not immediately responding. A hush falls over the arena as Barros is asking for Jack to squeeze his hand. After a long 3-4 seconds, Jack almost breaks Barros’ hand with the response squeeze.
RUSS: “Given Jack’s recent concussion, OOWF officials are on high alert to monitor Jack’s neurological state per OOWF General Manager Firewoman.”
Sandra, showing a twinge of concern, starts toward Jack only to be grabbed by the waist and dropped down head-first to the middle turnbuckle. As Sandra stands and starts to turn away from the corner, Jack is waiting and scoops her over his shoulders, seemingly in position for GTSF, but Jack pauses and drops Sandra roughly to the mat while screaming and grabbing his head.
RAZZ: “Was that the concussion talking or is Moosehead Jack in his head?”
After the pause, Jack does have the wherewithal to grab the still stunned Sandra and roll her into an inside cradle, securing the 3 from Barros.
Your winner (pinfall, 10:52), Jack Quinn!
Afterward, Jack is greeted by PORK and Katie Bardoor, who have towels and water at the ready for their mentor. Jack offers a handshake to Sandra, who accepts while also getting a water from familiar faces in OOWF’s rookie class.
• Zed vs. Nuke “Shoot to Thrill” cracks through the arena’s hum as Zed and The Reverend BRICK~! Emerge from the back to a loud ovation. Zed greets the fans along the rail as a fan in a black hooded sweatshirt grabs his wrist. As Zed jerks his arm away, the fan pulls down the hood reveal themself as Nuke, who tries to catch Zed by surprise with a strike of some sort that Zed easily ducks. Zed pulls Nuke over the rail and is about to drill him just as OOWF official Gavin “Junior” Hale breaks up the developing brawl. Zed gladly heads to the ring while keeping an eye on Nuke, who is now joined by Annie. Hale calls for the bell before Nuke can enter and starts a count a few seconds later. Hale gets to 6 before Nuke rolls in and rolls back out to restart the count. Zed waits until 4 before heading to the outside to take matters in his own hands, grabbing the green-haired rookie and sending him into the ring. Ready to start the match proper, Zed tries to grapple with Nuke, who escapes and scrambles between the ropes. Zed tries to get past Hale to get his hands on Nuke and gets a mule kick to the gut for his troubles. Nuke tries to headlock Zed, who easily backdrops him, following up with an elbow and a knee to the chest. Nuke tries to take a powder, but Zed grabs an ankle and drags Nuke to the center of the ring. Nuke kicks himself free and hits a punch to Zed’s kidneys, dropping the veteran in a heap on the mat.
RUSS: “Nuke with a devastating blow to Zed’s kidney area. That’s the type of blow that will stop the most invincible wrestlers dead in their tracks.” RAZZ: “Your body has no way to defend against that kind of shot. If it hits clean, it will change the entire complexion of the match.”
Nuke starts working on Zed’s back, dropping knees across his spine and grinding his forearm in the affected areas. Nuke then maneuvers himself into wrapping a now-seated Zed up in a chinlock, while driving a knee into his opponent’s back. Hale checks on a submission, but Zed – in between grunts – just gives Hale an “are you serious?” expression before trying to will his way to his feet. Zed gets to a knee before Nuke rakes the eyes, getting Zed back to the mat. Hale admonishes Nuke, who pays the official zero mind while grinding his forearm across Zed’s face. The Rev. BRICK~! begins to rally the fans behind Zed as he gets to a standing base, only for Nuke to kick the back of Zed’s knee to return things to the mat. Rev. BRICK~! keeps on the fans to urge Zed out of this predicament, only to get blasted by Annie, who starts stomping away on Zed’s cornerman. Man? Clay? Figure? … Zed’s manager. Well just go with that. Hale takes his eyes off of Nuke and Zed to try to manage the commotion on the outside. Annie silently keeps hammering away at Rev. BRICK~! before Zed hits a jawbreaker on Nuke to get out his grip and roll to the outside and confront Annie, who sarcastically smiles at Zed before backing away. Zed helps Rev. BRICK~! to his feet just as Nuke dives over the ropes. Zed sidesteps Nuke as he goozles himself across the barricade. Zed drags Nuke back inside and slaps on ZZZZZZZZ, getting a tapout from Nuke that Hale never sees as he’s dragged out of the ring by Annie. Zed releases the hold on the tap, thinking he’s won, only to see no official inside the ring. Hale is about to fire up the ejection on Annie when Nuke intervenes, drawing Zed outside to further the brawl. Nuke, with a rake to the eyes, gets the advantage and separation while also receiving a length of chain from Annie as Hale is checking on Zed. Zed retreats to the ring with Nuke following. Annie hops onto the apron to complain to Hale about something while Nuke wraps most of the chain around his right hand. As he cocks back his fist, Mac Flasher runs in from the crowd and grabs the excess length of the chain, jarring Nuke’s focus just long enough for Zed to get his wits about him. Mac yanks the chain away from Nuke, who spins into a boot to the stomach and Divine Intervention (package DDT). Zed makes the cover and gets 3 from Hale, who finally got away from Annie long enough to perform tasks expected of him.
Your winner (pinfall, 11:16), Zed!
Postmatch, Zed and a battered Rev. BRICK~! head to the ramp, seemingly none the wiser that Mac gave them an assist. Nuke seethes on the inside as a distraught Annie tries to piece together what had happened.
• Beverly Cambridge vs. Justin Sane Following an advertisement for “Patrick’s World,” a new toy unboxing show starring Stank and Patrick Mann on OOWF.tv, the feed cuts to the ring with Justin Sane and Beverly Cambridge already inside. “Main Event” Mel Creech calls for the bell with a hyped-up Justin charging toward OOWF’s most recent world champion, who calmly steps to the side, grabs an arm, wrestles Justin down, rolls him on his back and locks in a cross arm breaker, drawing an instant tap from Justin.
Your winner (submission, :38), Beverly Cambridge!
Postmatch, Beverly helps Justin to his feet and makes sure that he’s OK, before raising his arm in a symbolic gesture. Justin, while disappointed, receives warm applause as he heads to the back.
OOWF General Manager Firewoman stands atop the ramp, at the same table that she stood at to close the previous edition of Saturday Slam. With her are Lucky and Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox. Firewoman grabs a microphone as a hush fills the arena.
FIREWOMAN: “Fans. We now have our fields for the OOWF World Championship tournament and the OOWF Intercontinental Championship tournament, both of which will start with four-person elimination matches on the April 22 edition of Saturday Slam. To determine the matches, we will again consult dice, using a D8 to give us the numbers that will be revealed on OOWF.tv following the conclusion of Saturday Slam. First, the Intercontinental tournament that will feature Awesome Bill From Dawsonville, Bridget O’Malley, Diego “Pop” Roxton, Angie Delpetro, Jeff Mangyuniku, Sandra Fallon, Nuke and Justin Sane. Lucky, the D8 …”
Lucky hands Firewoman the D8 as she begins rolling, needing just four unique numbers to determine the matches. Firewoman rolls 8 before following with 6, 5 and 1, grinning that she somehow wound up without duplicated numbers. Lucky jots down the results and flips the page on the tablet in anticipation for the rolls that will determine the elimination matches for the world championship tournament.
F: And now, the field still in contention for the OOWF World Championship. The eight combatants, which will be narrowed to two by the end of our next episode of Saturday Slam, includes Mac Flasher, Alexander Darling, Kylie Mignolio, Katie Bardoor, Lexie Darling, Jack Quinn, Zed and Beverly Cambridge.”
Firewoman isn’t as fortunate with duplicated numbers this time around, rolling 3-1-1-7-1-1-2 as Lucky jots the results down.
F: “It appears that we have our quartets for both tournaments, which will determine who will compete for the vacant OOWF World and Intercontinental titles. The winners of these elimination matches will wrestle for their respective titles on the May 5 edition of Saturday Slam, where we will crown our singles champions. Those who do not advance to compete for the titles on May 5 will be entered into a battle royal to determine the first challengers for the new champions at a later date. We thank you for your time, and may the best wrestler win.”
OOWF Saturday Slam – March 25, 2023 OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• OOWF Trainee Showcase: Diego “Pop” Roxton vs. Pete Quick With both combatants already in the ring, official Mel Creech calls for the bell as Pete immediately takes to the outside. Diego stays inside, clapping a rhythm to get the fans behind him.
RUSS: “A popular wrestler wherever he’s competed, Diego ‘Pop’ Roxton is finally giving OOWF fans a chance to see him in person.” RAZZ: “He’s got the quickest hands I’ve even seen in OOWF, even at 45.” RUSS: “He doesn’t look a day over 25, except for that salt-and-pepper hair up top.”
As Pete climbs into the ring with Diego keeping close watch, non-commissioned OOWF newcomers The Green Apple Splatters enter through the opposite side and immediately start to put boots on Diego and Pete as Creech throws the match out.
Ladies and gentlemen, referee Mel Creech has declared this match a no-contest (1:05).
Pete scurries away to the corner with Merle and Bobbie Lou following. Pete reaches into his tights and pulls out a checkbook before writing a check that Merle grabs and eats in front of him before chokeslamming him to the outside. Diego is starting to get the upper-hand on Chet Stinkfinger before Bobbie Lou and Merle converge and turn the scrap into a 3-on-1 beatdown.
RUSS: “Someone call security to the ring! These men were here to compete, not to get … This!” RAZZ: “The Green Apple Splatters have a mission and I don’t think it’s to be in a lot of fair fights.”
Bobbie Lou hoists Diego into the air for a buckle bomb, knocking the Bahamian silly as Merle pulls an apple from his jacket and mashes it all over Diego’s face. The two drop down to the outside and repeat the act to Pete while Chet stands in the ring with a microphone.
CHET: “Get a good look at what we just did. This is the future of OOWF until we get who we want.”
OOWF Security swarms the ring with Merle fighting through the first line with relative ease until Chet signals an end to the aggression. All three men hop the railing and disappear into the bleachers.
RUSS: “They say they want someone, but who? How many people will they attack until they get to this person?” RAZZ: “It’s unfortunate to use what we just saw as detective work, but I think we can cross ‘Pop’ Roxton and Pete Quick off of their list.”
• The Frenemies (Kylie Mignolio and Bridget O’Malley) vs. The One-Notes (Carrie and Harper) The One-Notes are already in the ring, “serenading” fans with a medley of songs just as “Crown on the Ground” plays. Bridget O’Malley storms to the ring and takes the fight to both Carrie and Harper as Kylie Mignolio and Josie rush out behind. Josie stays back on the ramp, per Kylie’s orders, as Bridget is almost about to be overwhelmed by the numbers game. Kylie evens the odds, hitting a shooting-star plancha on Carrie while Bridget blasts Harper with an O’Mallet. The Frenemies stand tall in the ring as The One-Notes take a powder on the outside.
RAZZ: “I’m not sure that I agree with Bridget’s strategy, but it wound up working in the end.” RUSS: “The look on Kylie’s face tells me that even she didn’t know what Bridget’s plans were.”
Back in the ring, Kylie and Carrie start for their teams. Carrie tries a few go-behind takedowns that Kylie is able to wiggle out of. Carrie then rakes Kylie’s eyes and puts her on the mat with a gutwrench suplex. Carrie stays on top, using her grappling abilities to stay a second ahead of anything Kylie tries in her efforts to escape. Finally as Carrie attempts to roll Kylie onto her back, she is able to bridge out and hit the ropes before coming back with a clothesline that staggers Carrie into her corner, where Harper tags herself in. Harper points to Bridget, who is foaming at the mouth to get a piece of the supposed knockout specialist.
The two circle each other with Bridget holding a height advantage, though Harper has about 15 pounds on Bridget. The two battle to standoffs on a pair of running shoulder tackles before Bridget is able to sweep Harper’s leg and lock her into a grapevine. Harper pulls her way to the ropes for a break, which Bridget gives, but gets a boot to the knee for her troubles. Harper drags the limping Bridget to The One-Notes’ corner as the wannabe crooners begin to work quick tags – some are even legal – to put Bridget in peril. As Josie urges the fans to rally Bridget, a tandem suplex gets 2. Harper, now legal, tosses Bridget into a corner and starts working her over with body shots, but misses on an uppercut with Bridget getting within inches of a tag to Kylie. Harper pulls Bridget back, driving her weakened knee into the mat twice before tagging in Carrie. From the top, an attempted splash from Carrie gets all canvas as Bridget rolls away and tags in Kylie, who rushes in and hits Carrie with multiple dropkicks, barely allowing her to get upright before the next one connects. Harper dashes into the ring and clocks Kylie as Angelo Barros chides her, but this allows Kylie to apply a Sharpshooter that gets an immediate tap and a sung submission from Carrie … But Barros was still escorting Harper from the ring. Kylie lets go, only for Harper to rush back in and drill Kylie with a forearm shiver that knocks her clean out of the ring.
Bridget charges in and trades blows with Harper, getting the better of the rookie before loading up Red Death, which Harper ducks and counters with a forearm shiver that puts Bridget on her back. Harper tries for a pin, but has it broken up by Barros since Bridget is not legal. Carrie, now in the ring, tries dragging Kylie back inside and is rewarded with a Pele kick for her troubles. Kylie climbs to the top and attempts a crossbody that is thwarted by Harper catching the diminutive veteran. While Harper parades around the ring with Kylie in hand, she hoists her over the shoulder and signals for a running power slam. As Harper gets turned around in the corner, a small hand grabs Harper’s ankle causing her to fall with Kylie on top. Barros counts off 3 as all four combatants are shocked at the sudden end.
Your winners (pinfall, 10:59), The Frenemies!
Kylie and Bridget celebrate as Josie enthusiastically climbs into the ring to join the party. Harper charges after Josie and is met with Red Death. Carrie considers the same, but thinks better of it as Harper is on the mat, shaking cobwebs.
• The Woodsmen (Hunter and Dakota) vs. Banned From Everywhere (with Katie Bardoor and PORK) With The Woodsmen already in the ring, though attempting to hide on the canvas with a white tarp thrown over Hunter and Dakota, “Insane in the Brain” brings out Banned From Everywhere and its ever-increasing entourage of Katie Bardoor, PORK, Drunkey and Drunkette. Awesome Bill from Dawsonville and Justin Sane gladhand every fan along the entrance way, some twice, before the converge at the makeshift blind of The Woodsmen. While Masato Misawa calls for the bell, Justin casually pokes at the obvious white mound on the canvas, causing Hunter to jump from under the tarp and to the sight of four wrestlers and two donkeys surrounding him. Hunter frantically tries to unearth Dakota before Justin strikes with a Greco-Roman right to the jaw. The larger Dakota emerges to pair of with Awesome Bill, all while Katie and PORK guide Drunkey and Drunkette from the ring. Justin and Hunter trade chops in the corner while Awesome Bill and Dakota alternate between classic mat wrestling and a pier-six brawl. banned From Everywhere simultaneously gets the upper-hand in both of its individual dealings as Awesome Bill and Justin whip their respective opponents into each other. The two knock heads, stumble around and into a High-Risk Headlock from Justin to Hunter and a bionic elbow from Awesome Bill to Dakota. The Woodsmen step between the ropes to collect themselves as Banned From Everywhere gives chase and keeps the pressure on the OOWF newcomers.
RUSS: “It’s been about four minutes and I haven’t seen anything to make me believe that The Woodsmen are competent wrestlers.” RAZZ: “In the past three weeks, have you seen anything from The Woodsmen that would make you think that they’re competent at anything?” RUSS: “Good point, partner.”
Misawa manages to get two in the ring and two out of the ring as Justin and Dakota square off. Justin tries a scoop slam, but Dakota shrugs it off and beats Justin down with hammer fists. Dakota trades off with Hunter, who keeps Justin grounded with superb mat wrestling, flummoxing Justin with go-behinds and never staying in one spot too long as Justin’s swings catch nothing but air. Hunter starts to work an arm bar and alternates that to a hammerlock with Justin trying to squirrel his way free. With Katie urging the crowd firmly behind Banned From Everywhere, Justin gets to a standing position and elbows his way free, only for Hunter to cut Justin’s trip to the ropes short by tripping him as he started his run. Hunter works Justin down to the mat with a belly-to-belly suplex, getting 2. Hunter tags in Dakota, who begins to pound Justin down with strikes before pulling him up and blasting him with a big boot that gets 2. From there, Dakota goes to the top rope and misses a knee drop, giving Justin the space needed to get a tag to Awesome Bill, who enters the ring with gusto, running through Dakota numerous times with shoulder tackles and slingshotting Hunter over the ropes before a scoop slam sends the smaller of The Woodsmen to the outside. Awesome Bill continues the Banned From Everywhere rally with a brutal Go Dawgs to Dakota. With Justin standing in the corner, Awesome Bill makes the tag with Banned From Space setting up as Justin climbs the ropes. Just as Awesome Bill is about to launch Justin, Hunter reenters with the tarp and tosses it on Dakota, before pulling him to safety. While Awesome Bill and Justin are chasing Hunter, Dakota rolls out of the ring and searches under the apron until he finds a The Woodsmen-branded tent. While Hunter is leading Banned From Everywhere, and PORK, on a chase, Dakota sets up the tent and climbs inside. Hunter leads the chase inside as Dakota grabs Justin, pulls him into the tent and zips it shut. There is a great amount of brawling going on inside the tent as Hunter and Awesome Bill stop what they’re doing to observe, both seemingly confused. The tent unzips as an arm, presumably belonging to Justin, slaps the mat. Misawa shrugs and calls for the bell.
Your winners (submission, 11:25), The Woodsmen!
Justin emerges from the tent a little punch drunk while Hunter doesn’t quite know what to make of what had just happened as Dakota deconstructs the tent and folds it under his arm.
RUSS: “I spoke with Dakota earlier today, and he said that he had a surprise that even Hunter would be unaware of.” RAZZ: “I don’t know how legal that … ummmm … Tapout Tent is, but it got the win over an established tag team in OOWF.”
• Mac Flasher vs. Nuke “I Get Wet” plays with Mac Flasher emerging from behind the curtain. Mac has an uneasy smile while greeted by a mostly positive response from the fans in attendance. Most expressing their gratitude that he started the ball rolling on OOWF’s reboot. He rolls into the ring and pulls himself up by the corner ropes while waiting for Nuke. “Hate Breeders” by The Misfits bellows through the arena, but with no sign of Nuke at all. Mac looks at all possible entry points, but Nuke is nowhere to be found. Mac drops to the outside and Nuke is not under the ring, either. The song cuts off as the OOWFTron shows Nuke in the arena’s parking lot.
NUKE: “Flasher. I’m not about giving you what you want. You want the satisfaction of beating me in the ring because you stand for some bullshit ideal that you don’t even believe in, but it sells a couple t-shirts to kids who will forget about you the minute you retire. If you want this fight, it’ll be a fight. I’m not giving you a wrestling match. Find me if you’re not a coward.”
Mac looks at official Davis Hightower, who looks at Mac with confusion. Mac drops to the canvas, rolls under the ropes and runs to the back to find the parking lot exit. On his way, he sees a figure in a black jacket, rife with safety pins and band patches along with bright green hair. He grabs the person to turn them around, finding a very shocked and frightened female fan. Mac, startled but still holding a ready punching hand up, begins to apologize as Nuke waylays Mac with a jumbo metal coffee carafe, knocking him silly. Nuke puts the boots to Mac as security arrives to pull Nuke off of Mac, who is already starting to bruise under his right eye. Mac breaks free and restarts the fight, pushing Nuke into a conveniently placed stack of pallets, fracturing a few of them. Mac then tosses Nuke into a metal Zamboni gate and has him in position for a Flash Drive on the concrete floor of the concourse before OOWF officials join the scene and convince Mac to let Nuke go. Mac releases Nuke as the fan from earlier sneaks in and gives a low blow from behind to Mac. As Mac writhes, Nuke and the female fan, who Nuke calls “Annie,” laugh before Nuke spits on Mac. Mac tries to scramble to his feet, but is halted by security as the pair walks away.
RUSS: “I’m not sure what just happened, but Davis Hightower threw this match out a while back. I guess it’s a no contest.” RAZZ: “While not a sanctioned match, I think the advantage of what we just saw goes to Nuke and his little friend. There was a plan, Mac played his part perfectly without knowing that he was.” RUSS: “Story of that man’s career. He’s a bright kid, but he’s going to be led to his own funeral one of these days by someone getting under his skin.”
• Beverly Cambridge and Jeff Mangyuniku vs. The Electric Company (Joe and Jamie) All four combatants are already in the ring as announcer Mike Elevenbee introduces the respective teams with Beverly and Jeff getting a loud applause. Masami Misawa signals for the bell as Joe tries to get an early jump on Jeff, but is met with a thrust kick that gets 2. Jeff then works Joe over with a series of quick strikes and caps off the sequence with a snap suplex that also gets 2. Jeff and Beverly work quick tags as Joe is now regretting his attempt at a sneak attack. Jeff, seemingly annoyed by Joe’s audacity, roughly escorts him to his own corner so Jamie can (reluctantly) tag in.
RUSS: “Jeff’s showing a bit of a temper.” RAZZ: “We haven’t heard much from him in these two weeks. I’m guessing he didn’t take that loss at Survival Sunday all too well. He fought hard, but he got caught. I’m sure Beverly really stressed that point in film study.”
Jeff and Jamie square off with Jamie landing a few punches before Jeff throws a roundhouse kick that send Jamie face-first onto the mat. Jeff takes Jamie to The Compound’s corner and tags in Beverly, who works him over with a bevy of kicks and punches, closing with a shotgun dropkick to the head of a seated Jamie.
RUSS: “The Electric Company, which has looked really good in training, just can’t get off the ground here.” RAZZ: “Partner, with the accomplished Beverly Cambridge playing quarterback and the prodigy that is Jeff Mangyuniku under her direction, we might be looking at the next OOWF tag champs. These two would overwhelm just about any tag team. I’d even take them against the Road Warriors at their peak.”
On cue, Beverly tags Jeff in as he hoists Jamie onto his shoulders. Beverly climbs to the top and hits a blockbuster neck breaker onto Jamie. Beverly covers and gets 2.5 only because Joe made the last-second save. Jeff grabs Joe and delivers Kaze Ni Nare, crumbling the blue-collar rookie onto the mat while Beverly locks Jamie in the Labell Lock, getting an instant submission.
Your winners (submission, 5:49), Beverly Cambridge and Jeff Mangyuniku.
Postmatch, Jeff and Beverly congratulate each other while helping Joe and Jamie to their feet. Their offer of sportsmanship is accepted, much to the delight of the fans in attendance, but Jeff gives Joe a glare with a warning to not try a sneak attack in the future.
• Zed vs. Sean Franklin “Enemy” by Imagine Dragons plays out Sean Franklin, the brash youngster proudly wearing his North Carolina State varsity jacket over his bright red singlet. Sean makes a point to point out every pro-Zed sign before throwing some kind of crud hand gesture their way. With Sean stretching himself on the ropes, “Shoot to Thrill” plays with Zed briskly walking to the ring with The Reverend BRICK~! trying to keep up. Zed slides under the bottom rope and is only held back by Gavin “Junior” Hale while Sean ducks between the top and middle rope. Zed relents before Hale makes sure that nobody is carrying illegal weaponry. Once both wrestlers pass, Hale calls for the bell as Zed immediately gets control with a double-leg takedown and shoots the half, getting 1.5 from the half-nelson pinning combination. Zed then stays on top of Sean as the former college grappler is flustered by Zed’s hidden grappling abilities.
RUSS: “So two on the takedown. I’ve got three near-fall points. About a minute of riding time. I got Zed up 6-0 right now.” RAZZ: “Zed either has always had this in his locker or he is a quick study! Either way, I don’t think Sean Franklin expected this.”
Sean is able to work himself free and stagger Zed with a forearm, but can’t quite bull Zed to the ground in a grapple. Sean kicks the bottom rope in frustration while Zed grins. Sean calls for a test of strength, but aborts multiple attempts while complaining to Hale about an illegal grip. Zed, perplexed, is questioned by Hale before taking a boot to the midsection from Sean. Zed stumbles backward toward a corner as Sean dusts him with a pair of uppercuts and a ringing knife-edge chop. As Zed tries to groggily fight the sting, Sean grabs an arm and whips Zed to the opposite corner before charging in with a corner splash. As Zed tries to catch his air, Sean barks insults at his opponent and directs a few at Rev. BRICK~!, who climbs onto the apron to return volley. Sean shoves Rev. BRICK~! to the floor and boots Zed down in the corner before forcing his head to look outside to get a better view of the stunned Reverend. Zed, a touch enraged, tries to battle free, only for Sean to snap mare him to the canvas and hit a pair of kicks to the spine. Sean pulls Zed and is now able to wrestle him to the ground, putting him a few pinning positions, but always pulling off at 1, all while barking insults at what he perceives to be an older, slower and less talented wrestler than he is. Zed tries to battle up, only for an eye poke to keep him on the mat for more verbal punishment.
RAZZ: “While I like the guy’s attitude, maybe Sean Franklin needs to focus more on his opponent and less on insulting him.” RUSS: “No bigger insult than to beat your opponent 1-2-3 in the ring. One day, Sean may actually realize it.”
Rev. BRICK~! now back to his feet begins to urge Zed on while Sean has slowed his attack with a chinlock. Zed begins to power to his feet, only for Sean to step on the back of one of his legs to cut him back down. Zed muscles back up and elbows his way free, running to the ropes and catching Sean with a flying forearm. As Sean starts to get to his feet, Zed delivers a running neck-breaker that gets 2. Zed then points to the corner before grabbing a dazed Sean and bashing his head 10 times on the top turnbuckle. Zed slips behind and takes Sean to the mat with a slingblade, getting 2 on the quick cover. With Rev. BRICK~! pointing at the top turnbuckle, Zed clips the ropes and looks to be setting up for The Answer, but Sean kips up and grabs Zed just before liftoff, hitting a high-angle body press. Zed staggers up and into a belly-to-belly suplex that gets 2.5. Sean takes down his straps and signals for high full-nelson slam finisher, securing the full nelson on Zed and bringing him upright. On the lift, Zed is able to use the nearby ropes to gain enough leverage to flip into a very uncomfortable, but effective pinning combination, getting 3 from Hale.
Your winner (pinfall, 12:07), Zed!
Sean releases the full nelson after the bell and jumps up to get in Hale’s face about what he felt was a fast count. Hale points to the OOWFTron to show that the count speed was standard, but the replay shows that Sean unknowingly had his boot under the rope. Sean, now furious, grabs Hale by the collar, but gets no further as Zed makes the save with a few right hands.
RUSS: “Sean Franklin didn’t even know he had a point until he saw the replay.” RAZZ: “Unfortunately for him, there are no replay reversals in OOWF unless it helps advance the story we’re trying to tell. … Russ. Why is Kayfabe here and ready to beat me with my monitor?”
• Jack Quinn and Lexie Darling vs. The Battling Baristas (Brynn and Tara) "Duncan Hills Coffee" by Dethklok plays and the Battling Baristas make their way to the ring. Brynn and Tara get a nice reaction from the crowd. "Scarecrow" plays and the crowd erupts. Jack Quinn comes out and makes his way to the ring. Brynn and Tara look ready to attack, but Jack pulls a mic from his jacket pocket, grabs a chair and gets into the ring and waits. "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons plays and Alexis Darling comes out. She stands at the top of the ramp for a moment and stares daggers at Jack. As she walks to the ramp, the crowd is in almost hushed anticipation. Lexie steps between the ropes, she walks up to Jack and stares him in the eyes, then turns and heads to their corner and grabs the tag rope.
The referee calls for the bell, and Brynn attacks Jack from behind, dropping him to his knees with a clubbing shot to the back of the head. Brynn pulls Jack to his feet and sends him to the ropes and nails him with a high knee to the jaw. Jack hits the mat, Brynn grabs him by the hair and drags him into the corner and stomps him, then tags in Tara. She springs off the bottom rope and hits a dropkick to Jack's jaw, then pulls him out of the corner and covers, but Jack kicks out at two.
Tara pulls Jack to his feet and tags in Brynn, then sends Jack to the ropes, Brynn lowers his head too soon and Jack stands him up with a kick to the jaw, then grabs him from behind and hits a backdrop driver, then reaches out and tags in Lexie. Lexie springs over the top rope and takes Brynn down with a clothesline, then ducks a clothesline from Tara and hits a spinning heel kick that sends her between the ropes the floor. Brynn grabs Lexie from behind and sends her to the ropes and catches her with a release overhead suplex. On the outside, Tara races around the ring and grabs Jack and pulls him to the floor, slamming his face on the apron.
Tara quickly climbs onto the apron and waits, while Brynn picks Alexis up and sets her up for the MELTZER DRIVER! Tara springs off the ropes, but Jack slides back into the ring and catches her in mid-air and SLAMS her to the mat with a urinage, then locks in the ji-endo! Alexis slips free POPS Brynn with a superkick, then hits the AIR RAID CRASH! Lexie covers and gets the three!
Your winners (pinfall, 5:04), Alexis Darling and Jack Quinn
The Battling Baristas powder out to the floor. Jack rolls out of the ring and grabs a mic and a chair and gets back into the ring. Lexie eyes him suspiciously and gets ready for a fight. Jack holds up his hands, then lays the chair on the mat, Lexie glares at Jack with an icy stare.
JACK: “I know you heard what I said to your brother. And, as much as he deserved an apology, you may deserve one even more. Look, I cannot take back what I've done, I cannot change the past. Much like Alex, I am not asking your forgiveness, I don't ever expect that. All I want is to co-exist. No more bullshit. No more wars. Alexis, I am sorry. I did things out of rage and hate, unspeakable things. I broke your neck, and I was sorry when you didn't die. There is no forgiveness for that. So, I am offering you the same choice I offered your brother. There's the chair, go ahead …”
Lexie picks up the chair, Jack closes his eyes and holds out his hand. Almost without hesitation, Lexie swings the chair and slams Jack with a shot to the head! Jack falls to the mat, writhing in pain, blood spurting from a gash in his head.
Lexie starts toward the ropes, the Battling Baristas both hop onto the apron and slowly start into the ring, hoping to pick apart Jack, but Lexie turns toward them and stares, then moves slightly and the Baristas take off. Alexis stares at Jack for a moment then tosses the chair aside, and leaves the ring.
OOWF medical staff come to the ring and help Jack to his feet, holding a towel to his head to stop the blood, they take him to the back for more treatment
• An announcement from OOWF General Manager Firewoman Firewoman stands atop the entrance ramp behind a table while holding a large D16, behind her is a chart. As the house lights give way to a spotlight on Firewoman, she is handed a mic by Lucky. Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox is also present, taking notes on an iPad tablet.
FIREWOMAN: “For our second Saturday Slam, on April 8, here in Asheville, we will simultaneously begin tournaments for the OOWF Intercontinental Championship and the OOWF World Championship. We have 16 wrestlers who will be competing for one or the other, but we will not know which championship they will compete for until after April 8. Because Saturday Slam will have eight singles matches. The winners advance to compete for the World title. Those who don’t win, will start their journey for the Intercontinental title. Those matches will be held on April 22, but we first need to determine how we’ll get to April 8.”
Firewoman shows off the D16 as a murmur fills the arena.
FIREWOMAN: “What I have here is a critical piece in determining our card on April 8. It is the key piece in the first segment of what I call the ‘Fire and Dice Championship Tournament.’ The premise is simple. We have 16 wrestlers, all secretly assigned a number. Matchups for the first portion are determined by dice roll. As your number comes up, you are slotted in the next available slot. Friends could face friends. Bitter rivals could renew their hatred. It’s all in what the dice say. The pairings will be revealed immediately after Saturday Slam goes off the air, but wrestlers will then have their numbers revealed. Sizzlechest and Lucky are the auditors for these rolls, conducted by yours truly.”
Firewoman looks at Lucky and Shizuru-Mune.
FIREWOMAN: “Gentlemen. Let’s begin.”
Firewoman’s first roll is a 2. She then rolls 7 - 9 - 4 - 6 - 4 - 8 - 14 - 6 - 14 - 14 - 6 - 4 - 4 - 15 - 9 - 12 - 13 - 8 - 8 - 16 - 3 - 14 - 15 - 9 - 13 - 16 - 7 - 6 - 7 - 14 - 14 - 15 - 5 - 13 - 11, jokingly cursing at the numerous repeats until the card is full. At times, Shizuru-Mune reacts as certain matchups are created by the D16.
FIREWOMAN: “Ladies and gentlemen. We have a full card for April 8. Once the wrestlers are notified, we will publicly post the matches on OOWF.tv, which you can get free for $6.66 per month, or for the introductory price of 22.2 cents per day for 30 days. We thank you for your time, and may the best wrestler win.”
Firewoman exits as Shizuru-Mune and Lucky follow as the feed cuts out.
OOWF/AEW Survival Sunday LIVE! From Jacksonville, Florida. March 12, 2023 Hosts: Russ and Razz
• Strap Match: Mac Flasher vs. Eddie Kingston “Cold World” plays as Daily’s Place goes nuclear for Eddie Kingston, who strides out and peers into the ring before rolling in. He bounces off of the ropes a time or two before making eye contact with OOWF official Mel Creech. As Eddie paces, his music cuts off and “I Get Wet,” but with the piano interlude, kicks on. The feed cuts to the back where Firewoman and the assembled OOWF roster are standing around Mac Flasher.
FIREWOMAN: “Mac. Get us started with a win. For at least tonight, we are behind you. OUR RING!”
Firewoman hands Mac the strap and a Terrible Towel signed by most of the willing roster and pats him on the shoulder. As Mac stuffs the towel in his pocket, he heads to the curtain, Firewoman nods at the assembled roster as they follow Mac, unbeknownst to him. Mac emerges to a smattering of positive response, but it is clear that he and his compatriots are on rival turf. As Mac gets halfway down the ramp, Eddie begins to protest as the crowd buzz begins to swell. Following Mac is every OOWF wrestler competing this evening – aside from Alexander Darling and Jack Quinn, though Matt Folz is a perfectly acceptable stand-in – and a couple of the trainees not booked for the show. Mac is unaware until Zed runs up and tries to hype him up. Mac, startled at first, turns around and sees the group, even Bridget O’Malley kind of, egging him on. Mac, now emboldened, rushes the ring and swings the strap in all directions as if he’s a dime-store Bruiser Brody. Eddie and Creech head for higher ground until Mac settles himself. Eddie and Creech re-enter the ring while AEW ring announcer Justin Roberts introduces the combatants big-match style.
Creech takes the strap from Mac and fastens it to both men before calling for the bell. Eddie and Mac go nose to nose, talking trash as the assembled OOWF wrestlers pound on the apron. Eddie’s protests convince Creech to send the gang behind the barrier with a convenient number of empty seats for the group to sit in. During the commotion, Mac hangs the towel in his corner before Eddie tries to tug Mac into the opposite corner, but Mac shifts his weight and holds strong, sending things into a tug-of-war with Mac gaining a bit of an edge before Eddie rushes and decks him with a strap-aided forearm. Eddie grabs enough slack to loop some of the strap and swings wildly with Mac ducking at the last second. As Eddie stumbles past, Mac trips him up to send him face-first into the second turnbuckle. Mac gets the same idea that Eddie had seconds before and tries to whip his opponent, but Eddie rolls away. Both men, now standing, forego the strap and engage in a hockey fight with about a dozen rounds exchanged before Eddie stumbles Mac with a right across the jaw. Eddie then gathers enough of the strap to clothesline Mac down to the mat, where Eddie begins to go to work with strap-aided punches and a few face-washes, complete with trash talk.
RUSS: “Eddie is basically telling Mac that he doesn’t belong here. That he is a stain in wrestling.” RAZZ: “If Mac doesn’t exit this predicament soon, he’ll become a stain on the mat. Eddie Kingston is giving him the work!”
Mac reaches up to block a punch from Eddie and is able to escape underneath Eddie’s mount, using the strap to pull Eddie inside-out and onto his back. From there, Mac sits Eddie up, using his strapped arm as a straight jacket sleeve before sending a series of kicks to the spine. With each kick, Mac’s expression seems to develop more rage. A sharp kick to the base of Eddie’s neck sends him down with Mac immediately going into a ground-and-pound attack, this time with Mac shouting verbal abuse at the New Yorker.
RUSS: “Mac Flasher wants respect. He is tired of being treated as a joke. He wants Eddie Kingston and the world to know what Mac Flasher truly is in this sport.”
Mac stops the punches and begins jawing at Eddie, giving him an opening to rake his eyes and gain separation. Eddie rolls away and jerks Mac to the mat while attempting to wrap the strap around his throat. He’s almost successful a couple of times only be thwarted by Mac biting his fingers. Finally Eddie clocks Mac on the side of the head and gets the strap around his throat. Mac reaches up and rakes Eddie’s eyes to loosen the grip. Mac slips away and tries to catch his breath before ducking an Eddie charge. Mac is able to halt Eddie in his tracks with a quick pull of the strap before hitting a lungblower. Mac tries to cover, since this is pinfall or submission and not touch all four corners because that’s super-dumb, and gets 1. Eddie thumbs Mac in the eye and then gets the first good series of whacks in, arching Mac’s back with each strapping. Mac drops to a knee and takes even more punishment as you can see some red seeping through Mac’s yellow Pittsburgh Pirates shirt. Mac tries to roll to the outside, but Eddie drags him back in and starts working more blows to the head, including a strap to the forehead that seemingly slices Mac open. Eddie drops down and starts working the cut with punches, palm strikes and even a bite. As he’s trying to pry at the wound, Mac jabs Eddie in the throat to gain a bit of space. A dropping fist by Eddie misses as Mac rolls behind and wraps the strap around Eddie’s throat. After Eddie is on the mat, Mac stands up and starts stomping Eddie’s head while it is pulled up by the strap. Eddie falls limp as Mac rolls him over and gets 2. Eddie tries to stand as Mac yanks him into the corner and starts to drop a series of rights on Eddie. Mac then uses the strap to whip Eddie into the opposite corner, following close behind before hitting a corner splash. This repeats itself twice over before Eddie sidesteps Mac. Eddie tries a rollup and gets 2 as a bit of blood is visible on Eddie’s forehead.
RAZZ: “Both men are busted open. We’ve rarely seen Mac fight with a crimson mask, how will he respond? This isn’t the time to find out that he doesn’t like seeing his own blood.” RUSS: He’s been taking the fight to Eddie for a while since he got busted open, I think he’ll be fine. He’s not going to let OOWF down.”
The two men stand up and start chopping each other before that becomes a slap fight, which Eddie wins. Eddie tries to hit a Northern Lights suplex on Mac, but is blocked as Mac hits a DDT. With Eddie stunned on the mat, Mac climbs the nearest turnbuckle to hit a flying elbow drop only for Eddie to yank him down unceremoniously.
RUSS: “Mac Flasher just landed on his head! He took a risk and he is paying for it now!”
Eddie stands a woozy Mac up and hits a spinning backfist, getting 2. Eddie repeats the sequence and gets 2.5. Again, Eddie nails Mac who can barely stand at this point, getting 2.9 as Mac seemingly spasmed more than kicked out. With Eddie shouting “STAY DOWN!” at Mac, he pulls him up again only for Mac to pull him into small package that gets 2. Mac, still very shaky, ducks another backfist attempt, and pulls Eddie into position for the Duquesne Incline, though Eddie is able to backdrop Mac onto his head again. A cover gets 2 with Eddie pounding the mat in frustration.
RUSS: “Mac Flasher is fighting like this is the final match of his career. He may not know his name after tonight, but he’s going to be certain that Eddie Kingston respects it!”
As Eddie argues count speed with Creech, Mac gets up and spins Eddie around, booting him in the stomach and connecting on a lightning-quick Flash Drive. Mac tries to make the cover, but he falls right beside Eddie. Creech starts a 10 count, getting to 6 before Mac starts to stir and drape an arm over Eddie. Eddie kicks out at 2 as the OOWF contingent at ringside was convinced that was it. Mac sits up and puts his head in his hands as Eddie rolls over and tries to roll him up, getting 2. Eddie tries to roll outside, but Mac drags him in to pay back the strapping from earlier, getting six or seven good licks in before starting to stumble around. Mac collapses on the mat. Before Creech can check on him, Eddie pounces with a strap-aided dragon sleeper hold that immediately has Mac gasping and kicking. While Eddie locked in the hold, Bridget O’Malley hopped the barrier without emotion. Creech, going for the arm test method, drops Mac’s arm twice before the third drop summons a bit of spirit from Mac. Bridget watches closely, but is the only OOWF member present not encouraging Mac.
RAZZ: “She probably wants to get a closer look at his suffering. While I normally condone that behavior, tonight isn’t that night.”
Eddie releases the dragon sleeper and sets a groggy Mac on his knees before locking in a regular rear choke while staring down the OOWF ringside brigade. With Firewoman trying to call Bridget back, not knowing what she’s doing or thinking, Eddie squeezes harder, causing the blood pulsing to Mac’s head to come out faster. With Mac’s head a brilliant shade of purple, he’s still trying to loosen Eddie’s grip before a yellow towel falls in front of the two and in sight of Creech, who calls for the bell.
Your winner (referee stoppage, towel - 17:45), Eddie Kingston! AEW leads 1-0.
Eddie releases the hold as Bridget climbs into the ring. Creech drops down to check on Mac while Eddie drops down and gives Mac a respect hug as Creech gets him in a seated position. Mac glances at the towel on the canvas and sees Bridget in the corner. Putting 2 and 2 together, Mac shoots up and immediately questions the still-expressionless Bridget, passing out during the fledgling argument. Creech calls for medics from the back as Bridget slowly exits the ring, not even looking at Mac. The remaining OOWF crew wait at the ramp to aid in getting Mac up the ramp with Eddie walking beside the stretcher.
• Jeff Mangyuniku vs. Kenny Omega “King of the Clouds” plays out Jeff Mangyuniku as Josie tags along until Jeff is halfway down the ramp. Jeff and Josie bow, smile and fist bump as a small Josie chant fills the arena. Josie runs up as Jeff enters the ring. “Battle Cry” cuts in as Kenny Omega, with Don Callis in tow, sizes up Jeff. While viewers at home see the usual Kenny theatrics, Jeff is patiently waiting for his opponent. Big-match intros from Justin Roberts, as is the case all night. Kenny, underestimating his opponent, offers a free shot to the jaw as Aubrey Edwards calls for the bell. Kenny closes his eyes, not seeing the dropkick that Jeff lands right on Kenny’s cheek. Kenny stumbles out of the ring with Jeff in close pursuit. Jeff throws a pair of haymakers and a lariat that turns Kenny ass over teakettle before Callis steps in between the two to stop the assault.
RUSS: “Who knew that someone in the Mangyuniku family could fight?” RAZZ: “Someone had to get Sizzlechest’s lunch money back in middle school.” RUSS: “Jeff is 19. He’s 11 years younger than Sizzlechest, that would have made him a toddler.” RAZZ: “My money still would have been on Jeff.”
The action resumes in the ring as Kenny gains control and begins to work the arm and backs Jeff into a corner before a patronizing clean break. Kenny dusts off Jeff as he brushes off the hands, spins Kenny into the corner and gives a patronizing clean break of his own. Kenny smiles, Jeff nods and the two lock up with Kenny yanking Jeff down to the mat by his hair. A knee drop misses as it appears Jeff has Kenny very well scouted. Kenny kips up, still smiling, as he angles for a test of strength. As Jeff offers his right arm, Kenny hits a ripcord V-Trigger that gets 2. Kenny now on a bit more aggressive pace, works knee drops on the hammer locked arm of Jeff before trying to get a submission from a bridging hammerlock. Jeff is able to slide the distance to the ropes and drape his ankle on the apron to get the break. With Edwards admonishing Kenny for breaking at 4, Callis grabs the ankle of Jeff as he’s trying to stand, yanking him back to the mat unceremoniously. Kenny starts throwing kicks to the back before running the ropes and hitting a low crossbody for 2.
As Kenny runs the ropes again, Jeff pops ups and catches him in a flapjack and tries to get Kenny cinched into a Doom Cloud (cobra clutch suplex) before Kenny bails to the outside. Jeff quickly climbs the ropes and hits a suicide dropkick that pushes Kenny over the barrier and into the crowd. As Jeff waits in the ring, Kenny makes his way to the apron and eggs Jeff to attack him there. Jeff obliges with a dropkick to the face that sends him to the railing. Jeff drops to the outside and starts to throw bombs on Kenny, who stumbles to a leaning position on the nearest ringside post. Jeff sizes Kenny up and attempts a Shining Wizard, only for Kenny to duck out of danger as Jeff clangs the post with his shin, dropping to the ground in immediate agony.
RUSS: “Jeff tried to seize the moment with that kick that would have put Kenny’s lights out, but he might have been outsmarted by the ring veteran.” RAZZ: “Might have been? Look at Kenny pointing to his head. He lured him into that mistake.”
Kenny rolls Jeff into the ring and begins to slow the pace with a front face lock, leaning all of his weight on Jeff’s neck and shoulders. Kenny, then props his feet on the nearby ropes to add pressure with Edwards none the wiser. This goes on for roughly two minutes until Edwards catches Kenny on the ropes and calls for a break, which happens at 4. As Jeff is trying to catch his bearings, Kenny stomps him down before stepping away. Jeff gets to a knee, setting himself up perfectly to receive a V-Trigger, which gets 2. Kenny backs off the cover and sets up for another V-Trigger, but gets caught in an Exploder Suplex that sends Kenny rolling outside as Jeff catches his air inside. Kenny crawls back in and gets to his knees, with Jeff rising at the same time as the two slug it out with Jeff gaining a slight advantage. A series of forearm shivers bends Kenny backwards in a daze with Jeff popping up and nearly hitting a running double stomp with Kenny scrambling away as Jeff was in mid-air. Jeff keeps the pressure on Kenny, cinching in a rear waist lock with a pair of deadlift German Suplexes wowing the crowd. A third try is reversed as Kenny hits a pair of his own, bridging the second to get 2. Jeff ducks another V-Trigger and sweeps Kenny’s leg before a kip-up and standing moonsault get 2. With Kenny laying on the mat, Jeff drags him closer to a corner and heads up the ropes while Kenny staggers to his feet. A missile dropkick hits Kenny flush on the jaw, getting 2.9 as the Daily’s Place crowd had collective heart palpitations.
RUSS: “We almost witnessed a colossal upset. It would have eclipsed Villanova-Georgetown in 1985. It would have been more monumental than Super Bowl III. The Miracle on Ice would have had company.” RAZZ: “Listen, Russ. Maybe Jeff is just that good.”
With Kenny shaking the cobwebs, Jeff looks to the crowd and screams while crouching in position. As Kenny stands, Jeff grabs an arm and attempts Kaze Ni Nare (ripcord lariat), only for Kenny to duck and shove Jeff into the nearest corner. As Jeff stumbles back, Kenny hoists the youngster on his shoulders, delivering a One-Winged Angel. That gets 3 with Jeff kicking out at 5.
Your winner (pinfall - 15:29), Kenny Omega! AEW now leads 2-0.
Postmatch, Kenny slumps in a corner and slowly rolls out with little flair as Jeff sits dejected in the ring. Josie, with Beverly Cambridge sprinting after her, heads to ringside to console Jeff before helping him onto his feet and out of the ring.
*the feed finds Kylie Mignolio and Bridget O’Malley in the OOWF locker room as Bridget is staring through the wall as Kylie leans in*
KYLIE: “Hey. Bridget. What’s going on in that head of yours? What was with throwing the towel in Mac’s match? Is your head even here right now?” BRIDGET: “I’ll be fine … Just … Let me focus. We’re down 2-0 and now you and I have to win this match or we’re done.” KYLIE: “I see the scoreboard, too, but am I going to have a tag partner who has her attention on the match she’s in or on the match she ended?” BRIDGET: “…” KYLIE: “I get it. Mac was in a bad way. Nobody blames you for what you did. You acted out of concern and care. But if you’re doing that for Mac, you have to let him back …” BRIDGET: “I know what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to get me to say something that I don’t mean just because I basically saved a person’s life in that ring! Nobody else understood what was going to happen. Mac was never going to give up. He was going to die first. Did you want that? Did you want Mac Flasher to be dead because he never learned that he can live to fight another day? Because that’s what was going to happen with that blood loss and the choke that was on him. If this is going to happen every time that someone saves Mac from himself, I’ll make sure that it’s not me next time. Now can we just win this damn match without someone bringing Mac up?”
*Bridget storms away as the feed cuts back to the ring*
• Kylie Mignolio-Bridget O’Malley vs. Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D.-Jamie Hayter “The Epic” hits as Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D and Jamie Hayter enter as one. Both step inside the ring with their normal swagger while their music cuts off and “Crown on the Ground” plays out Bridget O’Malley as she walks toward the ring with a 1,000-yard stare. She stops at the bottom of the ramp to turn and wait for her tag partner, not noticing that Kylie Mignolio walked outside beside Bridget, almost in lockstep.
RUSS: “A huge gesture by Kylie Mignolio, sacrificing her own entrance to show unity with Bridget O’Malley.” RAZZ: “Would have been great had Bridget noticed before they were almost in the ring.”
The Frenemies enter the ring, Kylie with a bit more bounce in her step than Bridget as OOWF ring announcer Mike Elevenbee gets the honors for this bout. Bridget and Britt open the match for their respective teams as Gavin “Junior” Hale signals for the bell. Britt and Bridget lock up with Bridget using her slight height advantage to gain enough leverage to muscle Britt down. Britt escapes quickly with a go-behind waist lock and tries to toss Bridget to the mat, but Bridget stands her ground with Britt releasing the lock. The two tie up again with Britt using Bridget’s hair to get a side headlock sealed in, but Hale sees the pull and requests a break. A third tie-up has Bridget backing Britt into the Frenemies’ corner, where Kylie tags in and hits a few flash kicks on Britt, sending the Punxsutawney, Pa. native to a slumped position in the corner. Kylie rushes in with a double-knee attack that doesn’t get all of Britt’s head, but enough to knock her woozy for a sec. Kylie pulls Britt toward the center of the ring and tries a La Magistral cradle, but gets clocked by Jamie making a preemptive save. Jamie then pulls Britt to their corner and tags herself in legally.
RUSS: “For now, it looks like The Frenemies are on the same page. Excellent teamwork.” RAZZ: “They’ll only be as good as the next thing to distract Bridget O’Malley. It’s clear that her time away from OOWF only made her more of a headcase.”
Jamie uses her size advantage over the diminutive Kylie to power her into a corner, but to no avail as Kylie’s speed enables her to escape danger. The cat-and-mouse game continues as Jamie’s swipe get nothing but the air previously occupied by Kylie until Bridget tags herself in as Kylie finds herself in her team’s corner. Bridget goes nose-to-nose with Jamie for a good 20 seconds with Bridget not saying a word as Jamie delivers a hellacious tongue-lashing. A quip about Mac Flasher sends Bridget over the edge as the Pennsylvanian unloads a series of forearms and whips Jamie into the ropes with an O’Mallet (Polish Hammer) in mind before Britt holds Jamie back and coaxes her outside to discuss strategy. With the two huddling, they don’t see Kylie running across the apron before hitting a Shooting Star Crossbody on the pair, sending all three to the floor. Kylie, who suffered the least damage, grabs Jamie and sends her back into the ring where Bridget tries Red Death, only for Jamie to duck it and land an uppercut to stagger Bridget. With Jamie on the advantage, Britt pops up and grabs Kylie to send her crashing into the barrier. With Hale checking on the commotion outside, Britt rolls in and helps Jamie with a 2-on-1 attack on Bridget. As Hale is able to chase Britt back to the outside, Jamie delivers heavy blows to Bridget and then a rear chinlock as the pace ticks down a few notches. Bridget starts to fade a bit while Kylie makes her way back up to the apron and starts to encourage her partner by slapping the top turnbuckle pad. Bridget starts to get a bit more upright just as Jamie rakes her eyes before yanking her back down and reapplying the hold. Jamie barks taunts at Kylie who is drawn into the ring before Hale cuts her off. While Hale is playing escort, Britt sneaks in and takes over for Jamie with a loud clap by Jamie echoing through the arena as she exits. Hale looks at Britt and questions her, but is easily swayed that she tagged in legally.
Bridget looks to be almost out before a second wind takes over. Bridget powers up and carries Britt to a neutral corner, where she backs the Good Doctor in and manages a break of the hold before falling on her face. Britt stays on the attack with stomps and a kick, and most importantly taunts as Kylie remains optimistic that her encouragement will get Britt to the corner to make a very important tag. Britt misses a middle-rope elbow drop, giving Bridget an opening that almost leads to a desperation tag before Jamie darts over and clocks Kylie with a forearm to send her tumbling off if the apron. Jamie and Britt double team Bridget, ending the sequence with a wishbone as Britt resumes her solo attack with a leg lock that has Hale checking on a submission from Bridget. Kylie steps back onto the apron and tries to get the scant amount of OOWF die-hards who managed to buy a ticket behind Bridget. Bridget begins to claw at Britt’s face, to no avail, though she is a bit more successful with a palm strike to Britt’s temple. With Britt on a knee, Bridget starts a crawl to her corner, but is cut off by Britt grabbing her ankle before a possible lunge. The two struggle before Bridget is able to get a heel to Britt’s stomach, doubling her over and giving the needed space to get a tag to Kylie.
Kylie comes in with both barrels blazing on Britt, hitting quick-strike attacks and even having some for Jamie as she enters the ring uninvited. While Kylie is delivering anything in her striking arsenal to both opponents, Bridget ends her short breather and unleashes a lariat on Jamie to send her out of the ring. As that happens, Kylie sends Britt into the corner and then sets herself in position for a Victory Roll that gets a flash 3 with Jamie breaking away from Bridget just a split-second late to make the save.
Your winners (pinfall, 15:46), The Frenemies! AEW now leads 2-1.
Jamie, still wanting a fight, begins to pummel Kylie after the bell with Britt and Bridget pairing off. Bridget and Kylie start to get the better of the brewing brawl before officials from both companies rush in to break it up. While Britt and Jamie are apoplectic on the outside, the Frenemies hug to celebrate, though Bridget’s expression indicates that her mind is back on vacation.
• Zed vs. Bryan Danielson Before the entrances are made, the Jericho Appreciation Society makes its way to ringside to occupy some of the front-row seats previously used by OOWF wrestlers during the Mac Flasher-Eddie Kingston match. Chris Jericho leads the fans in multiple refrains of “Judas” before it’s cut off in favor of “Shoot to Thrill.” Zed, with The Reverend BRICK~! jogs to the ring, receiving the warmest applause of any of the OOWF combatants so far this evening. As Zed bounces off of the ropes before taking a seat on the top turnbuckle in his corner, “Born For Greatness” plays out Bryan Danielson. With Bryan inside the ring, Mike Elevenbee makes the introductions with AEW official Paul Turner checking both men for foreign objects and calling for the bell shortly afterward. The two circle the ring as a modest “THIS IS AWESOME!” chant permeates through the ringside seats.
RUSS: “This one will be a treat. Two of the best in the business about to lock horns.” RAZZ: “And you hope that Zed can draw things even with a win, because while I trust Beverly Cambridge to come through. It’s Banned From Everywhere in the next match that bothers me. If AEW is down 3-1 before that match, we might be out of jobs in five matches tonight.”
Zed makes first contact, sending a boot to the stomach of Bryan, who replies with a series of chops until Zed hits a belly-to-belly suplex for a quick count of 1. Zed misses a knee drop as Bryan tries an early Labell Lock, but Zed is easily able to escape as the two return to a standing position. The two then grapple before trading hammerlocks with Bryan getting the latter advantage that allows him to drop down, trip up Zed and roll into a leg lock. Zed struggles free and catches Bryan with a hiptoss. Bryan kips up as another stalemate draws applause from everyone except the Jericho Appreciation Society. Zed tries to go in for a headlock before Bryan reverses it and puts Zed on the canvas. Bryan floats over and attempts to put Zed in an Indian Death Lock, but Zed is able to scramble to the ropes and eventually to the outside where he gets too close to the barrier and gets a swipe from Sammy Guevara for his trespass. Bryan drops to the outside and jaws with Guevara before Jake Hager face-washes both Bryan and Zed with Chris barking out taunts. Bryan takes a swipe at anyone in purple, connecting with Jake while Zed decks Sammy. Both men get back into the ring and begin anew, grappling to another stalemate.
Bryan opens the next sequence with an elbow strike that rocks Zed, putting him on the defensive as Bryan tries a number of submissions to no avail as Zed is able to wiggle free from most or at least get to the ropes. Bryan allows Zed to get to his feet, which proved to be a mistake as a double-leg takedown and Zed’s own tries at a submission don’t get too far before Bryan can roll away. As Zed approaches, Bryan puts him in a small package that gets 2. Bryan stays on the attack, grinding Zed’s face into the mat while locking on a full nelson. Zed is able to break the hold, turn his hips and escape with a few knees to the ribs. Zed runs wild with a pair of clotheslines and a gutwrench suplex that gets him 2. Zed starts to work on Bryan’s shoulder, ramming him in multiple corners before dumping him outside and into the barrier. With Zed catching a breath, he’s pressed into saving his opponent as the JAS is playing the part of unofficial lumberjacks for this match, while Turner is the least bit aware. Zed runs Bryan into the railing on another side of the ring. Bryan fights back with a headbutt and then a dive from the apron, but Zed brushes him aside and then rolls him back in the ring for a DDT that gets 2. Zed rolls Bryan onto his stomach and locks in a double chickenwing, eventually muscling Bryan into the air into Moment of Zed, which gets 2.5. Zed pounds the mat, mostly to fire himself up as he approaches Bryan. With Zed leaning down, Bryan is able to goozle Zed on the middle rope and deliver a running knee to the neck that puts Zed down for 2. Zed slowly makes his way to a standing position before Bryan nails him with a lariat and peppers him with stomps and a few kicks. Bryan attempts to put a cross arm breaker on Zed, but can’t get the North Carolinian’s hands separated to extend the arm before Zed slides the action to the ropes to get the break. Bryan boots Zed to the outside, in front of the JAS, which swears to behave as Turner has his eyes on the group this time. Turner’s count gets to 6 before Zed slides back in, right into a Labell Lock try that goes nowhere as Zed slips right back out. Bryan follows and takes the fight to the outside as Daniel Garcia hops the rail and jumps on the apron to occupy Turner as the JAS hammer away in a 5-on-2 attack on both combatants before the duo starts to gain a measure of an advantage with both swinging at anything that moves and gaining enough space to bail out. The two get back into the ring as Turner chases Daniel off and begin unloading slaps and chops on each other with the chests of both men glowing red after a few rounds. A headbutt from Bryan gives him a temporary advantage as the JAS begins to insert itself into matters. Turner catches Matt Menard and Angelo Parker trying to swipe at Zed’s ankles and ejects the entire group. One by one, they file out and protest to an uncaring Turner while Bryan and Zed are still battling inside. Zed hits a GTH on Bryan, getting about 8 if Turner would have been in position. With Bryan still dazed on his back, Zed ascends to the top turnbuckle with The Answer in mind, but Chris had hidden behind the barrier on the ground before the ejection and clocks Zed’s ankle with his trusty bat Floyd to send him tumbling off. Bryan instinctively cradles the downed Zed with Turner turning around to see the pinfall attempt, snapping off 3 as Zed kicks out a second late.
Your winner (pinfall, 16:28), Bryan Danielson! AEW leads 3-1.
Chris waves the rest of the JAS back to ringside with a beatdown of both wrestlers commencing before officials spill out of the back, including OOWF General Manager Firewoman and All Elite Wrestling President Tony Khan, who are in a dead heat to enter the ring first. As the two are in the ring, Chris pulls a microphone from his jacket.
CHRIS: “You mean to tell me that AEW can have this crossover show with another company, call it a showcase and not have a single wrestler from the Jericho Appreciation Society on the card. I’d expect this kind of idiocy from what OOWF calls an executive …” *Chris winks at Firewoman* “… But Tony, the man I’m making rich every time I come to this ring and perform, did not feel the need to give me a match. I’d have beaten Flasher. I’d have beaten Zed. I’d beat that kid brother of that stupid idiot Sizzlebeef Manchest or whatever. I am the lifeblood of AEW and I’m on the sidelines for this monumental event. Explain that to me Tony.”
TONY: “It’s because …”
FIREWOMAN: “It’s because I refused to let anyone in OOWF fight you before I got to you first. You see …”
CHRIS: “Quiet, little miss Firewoman. The men in this ring are talking.”
*Chris puts his hand in Firewoman’s face. Firewoman takes a beat, grabs his wrist and twists it all the way around his back into a hammerlock*
FIREWOMAN: “I don’t care who you are. Or who you were. I don’t care that you were my friend, my rescuer, my trainer, my manager, my lover, my fiancé . No one … NO ONE disrespects me or my wrestlers in MY RING.”
CHRIS *wincing in pain*: “YOUR RING? Look around, lover. You’re in Jacksonville, not Asheville, or wherever that loser school of yours is in Texas. This is MY ring.”
*Chris reverses the hold and sends Firewoman into the corner. She counters easily and ducks a haymaker. As the two are about to square up, Tony gets between them*
TONY: “NO MIXED GENDER FIGHTING!”
CHRIS: “I should be on this card! I am the main attraction of AEW. I should be in the main event for this company! Not those bozos, Moxley and Castagnoli.”
FIREWOMAN: “So let’s make it happen. I’ll make the match right now!”
FIREWOMAN: “Just name the opponent.”
CHRIS *taken aback at the challenge actually being accepted*: “Well … I … There’s no one here who is worthy enough to hold my jockstrap, much less get in the ring with me.”
FIREWOMAN: “I’m pretty sure no one wants to touch that."
TONY: “The card is what the card is.”
CHRIS: “What about your brother? Maybe he can namaste me to sleep out of boredom.”
*Firewoman is enraged at the insult, clenching her fist and fuming*
CHRIS: “Or your ex-husband … Not that he’s bothered to show up. Probably embarrassed to be show his face since he dropped off the face of the earth.”
*Firewoman’s balled fist gets tighter*
CHRIS: “I mean, it’s not like your current husband can even stand, much less wrestle. I’d have a bigger challenge from Patrick.”
*Chris barely gets Patrick’s name out when a right cross connects, driving him backward. Lucky has finally got to the ring and leaps in between Fire and Jericho*
LUCKY: “I won’t. You can’t.”
*the security that broke up the JAS beatdown pulls Firewoman and Chris apart while the feed cuts to a vignette of The Woodsmen, who are scheduled to debut in two weeks if there is an OOWF to debut in*
• Banned From Everywhere (with Katie Bardoor and Pork) vs. Best Friends (with Danhausen and Orange Cassidy) “Insane in the Brain” breaks the silence as the wildest scene that Jacksonville has seen in ages commences as Awesome Bill from Dawsonville and Justin Sane run out in a frenzied state, while proteges Katie Bardoor and Pork follow with Drunkey and Drunkette on leashes. Banned From Everywhere do what they can to win over the crowd before “Best Friends” interrupts and brings out Best Friends with Orange Cassidy and Danhausen in tow. The quartet approach ringside, though Danhausen is unsure of what to make of the donkey tandem accompanying Banned From Everywhere. Eventually the combatants are left in the ring with Davis Hightower bringing the teams in for pre-match instructions. The teams break away and huddle before Trent Baretta, the supposed spokesperson of the group, whispers in Hightower’s ear. Hightower considers what Trent said for a second before leaning over to ring announcer Justin Roberts with a comment.
JUSTIN: “Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed by official Davis Hightower that at the request of both teams, this match will be fought under Texas Tornado rules!”
Both teams applaud the decision as Hightower calls for the bell with Awesome Bill and Trent pairing off while Chuck Taylor and Justin begin trading blows.
RUSS: “Does Davis Hightower have the authority to do this?” RAZZ: “Justin Roberts thinks he did, and that’s good enough for me! Let’s see a brawl!”
Chuck manages to push Justin to the outside where Danhausen and Orange observe. Justin sees the two and backs away quickly, taking a clothesline from Chuck as he turned around. Trent and Awesome Bill are pounding away at each other while Katie, barely able to contain herself, eggs Banned From Everywhere on. Awesome Bill eventually gets the upper-hand, sending Trent into a corner and monkey flipping him out of it to get 1. While that’s going on, Justin and Chuck brawl a bit too close to Drunkey, who charges Chuck. Justin tries a High-Risk Headlock and gets dumped in the crowd as Chuck gets into the ring and aids Trent in his battle against Awesome Bill, starting a sequence of slick double-team offense that concludes with a double flapjack that gets 2 before Katie pulls Chuck off of Awesome Bill. Justin returns, just to eat a lariat from Trent, as Chuck hammers away at Awesome Bill in the corner. Trent misses a charge on Justin and stumbles to the outside in front of Pork, who seemingly wants nothing to do with any sort of fighting while he’s handling the two donkeys. Trent nods at Pork before turning around to an eager Katie, who just wants to fight someone. Katie lifts Trent and places him on the apron, just before Justin dropkicks him off of it and into Katie and Pork, causing the latter to lose grip on the leashes with Drunkey and Drunkette quickly running off.
With Pork giving chase to the donkeys through the seating area, Orange slowly walks over to Katie with his hands in his pockets and delivers a devastating series of low-speed kicks to both of her legs. How Katie is able to stand after such a brutal attack defies science. Katie endures Orange’s big finale before throwing a regular-speed left hook that sends Orange stumbling back to the apron. Katie smiles and begins a series of low-speed kicks on Orange, eventually helping him to his feet and brushing him off because she just appreciated the fight. While that’s going on, Danhausen rolls in the ring and attempts to put a curse on Justin, who escapes the supernatural circumstance with a DOUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHAAAAAWWWWWWKKKKKK!
The lights go out as an audio supercut of every instance where Al Pacino drops the F-bomb in “Scarface” plays over the PA system. A loud boom, not unlike the sound of pans hitting the floor, follows just before a tear-jerking rendition of “My Heart Will Go On” is played on a triangle. The lights come back on as Danhausen has seemingly cursed a confused tandem of Trent and Chuck, both of whom are unaware that Drunkey and Drunkette are standing behind them. Awesome Bill charges and clotheslines both members of Best Friends over the donkeys as Justin rushes in to pin Chuck with Hightower counting 3.
Your winners (pinfall, 12:32), Banned From Everywhere! AEW now leads 3-2.
Banned From Everywhere celebrates with its entire contingent in the ring while a stammering Danhausen struggles to comprehend the power of the DOUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHAAAAAWWWWWWKKKKKK! that he just witnessed.
• Beverly Cambridge vs. Hikaru Shida “Cut the Cord” bellows through the arena as Beverly Cambridge steps out to a smattering of applause. The most-recent OOWF world champion makes her way to the ring and uses the corner to stretch while her music fades and “Shining Samurai” signals the arrival of Hikaru Shida. The ladies nod in respect during Mike Elevenbee’s ring introductions, with Mel Creech calling for the bell.
RUSS: “Mel Creech pulling double duty tonight with OOWF officials getting four of a possible seven in-ring assignments.” RAZZ: “Say what you will about the executive acumen of Firewoman, but she swung quite a few factors to OOWF’s advantage in recent days.”
The ladies circle the ring with the audience clapping in unison to Hikaru’s cadence. Beverly grabs a headlock, which is reversed by Hikaru and re-reversed by Beverly until Hikaru slips out. Both women try for a standing dropkick and get nothing but air, creating a stand-off and requisite applause. Beverly gains control out of a tie-up, backing Hikaru into a corner and breaking before Creech can even request it. Hikaru kicks away Beverly’s try at another tie-up, following with a pair of kicks to Beverly’s left leg to cut her down. Hikaru then hits a basement dropkick on the downed Beverly, rolling that to a half-crab submission. Beverly reaches the ropes to get the break, but Hikaru stays on the attack by pulling Beverly to the middle of the ring and cinching in a body vice. Hikaru then works Beverly to the corner and hits a series of quick strikes before turning Beverly upside-down and hanging her in the tree of woe, connecting on another basement dropkick.
After falling from the corner, Beverly shakes off the cobwebs and fires back with a series of forearm shivers and an uppercut that has Hikaru reeling. A Northern Lights Suplex gets 2 before Beverly pops up and hits a double stomp on the downed Hikaru, prompting her to roll out of danger to the outside. Beverly greets Hikaru upon reentry with an uppercut and Slingblade, which also gets 2. Beverly then grabs one of Hikaru’s legs to put her in a Stretch Muffler, drawing a few shrieks, but not a submission. Hikaru rolls out of the submission, but walks into a palm strike that gets 2. A standing moonsault misses, giving Hikaru a bit of air before Beverly gets a flash rollup for 2. Hikaru stomps her way through Beverly, eventually working her way into an abdominal stretch. Beverly hip tosses her way out of the hold, but takes a second too long to catch her breath as Hikaru dazes her with roughly a dozen quick strikes from all appendages, the last being a crescent kick that puts Beverly on the floor.
With Beverly temporarily unaware of her surroundings, Hikaru runs the apron and delivers a Meteora that sends Beverly crashing into the barrier. Hikaru, cranking up the tempo, sends Beverly inside and throws a few knee and shin strikes that put Beverly on Dream Street. A Shining Wizard attempt, however, is caught as Beverly powers up – with Hikaru in her arms – from a kneeling position to just dump her to the outside and get a few moments of rest as Hikaru waits until 8 to get back into the ring. Hikaru bounces off the ropes with a knee strike in mind, but gets caught in a belly-to-belly suplex that gets 2. The women exchange a heated series of chops as Hikaru gains the upper-hand with a chop that seemingly got a bit close to the throat. Hikaru backs off as Creech checks on a gasping Beverly, who is not willing to call it a night just yet.
As Creech gives the blessing to continue, Hikaru charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Beverly, who rolls into a Labell Lock try, that Hikaru fights by locking her own hands before Beverly can secure the arm. Hikaru wiggles free but gets stomped down by Beverly until Hikaru catches a boot and rolls into a heel hook submission try that Beverly endures for roughly a minute until Beverly makes the ropes. Hikaru catches Beverly in a butterfly suplex that gets 2. Beverly takes a second to get up, but catches a charging Hikaru and dumps her head-first onto the apron before sending her to the floor with a booming lariat. On the outside, the women battle around the ring before rolling back in at Creech’s count of 9. Back inside, Beverly drops down and catches Hikaru with a Pele Kick to stun her. Beverly trips Hikaru from behind and secures an STF that eventually becomes another Labell Lock try that is thwarted when Hikaru scampers to the ropes. Beverly, now a touch frustrated, drops her focus for a second only to get scooped into an Air Raid Crash that gets 2. Hikaru tries for a Labell Lock of her own, securing it but releasing as Beverly is able to turn her legs toward the nearby ropes. Shida takes Beverly and places her on the top turnbuckle, setting up for a Superplex. On the way down, Beverly somehow is able to flip over and wind up with a Labell Lock cinched in before impact. A winded Hikaru struggles but cannot escape, tapping out seconds after the landing.
Your winner (submission, 13:10), Beverly Cambridge! The series is now tied at 3.
As Hikaru groggily gets to her feet, Beverly goes in for a hug that draws cheers from most in the arena. The feed cuts to the back as most members of the OOWF locker room – minus the injured Mac Flasher, the yet-to-compete Jack Quinn and yet-to-be-accounted-for Alexander Darling – give Beverly a champion’s welcome as she returns.
The feed now shows a montage of recent happenings between Jack Quinn and Jon Moxley, with announcers also documenting that Alexander Darling has checked into the building today, per fob-swipe records given to them by arena security but has not been seen by anyone.
• Jack Quinn-Alexander Darling vs. Jon Moxley-Claudio Castagnoli “Uppercut Swingphony” draws out Claudio Castagnoli, who amps up the AEW sect of fans during his entrance, stepping into the ring as his theme fades out in favor of “Wild Thing,” which sends eyes searching for Jon Moxley as he enters through the crowd. As Jon and Claudio pair up in the corner, “King of the World” plays, but after 90 seconds there is still no Alexander Darling. “Scarecrow” interrupts as Jack Quinn heads out to see that he is fighting this battle by himself for the time being. While Jack keeps looking over his shoulder, Justin Roberts makes the in-ring introductions with an awkward moment ensuing as Justin introduces a not-present Alexander. While AEW official Bryce Remsburg is going over pre-match instructions, “Flame On” plays as OOWF General Manager Firewoman, now in apparent wrestling gear, dashes to the ring. She is cut off by ringside security just long enough for All Elite Wrestling President Tony Khan to make his way down.
Firewoman demands that she be substituted in the match as Jack’s partner, with Tony not budging. While Tony acknowledges the emergency substitute clause, he also points out the no inter-gender rule that he had written into the agreement.
TONY: “Unless YOU change your pronouns to ‘he/him’ in the next 30 seconds, your brother fights alone until his scheduled partner decides to show up.”
That comment sends Firewoman into a fit of rage as she lunges at Tony, but is carried off by AEW security as Tony instructs Justin to inform fans that Firewoman is ejected from ringside until the match concludes. Firewoman, now nuclear in her rage, starts to dismantle the AEW announce table and hits a Pretty Good Diamond Cutter on Excalibur until she is whisked away by security.
Back in the ring, Bryce calls for the bell as Jon, practically salivating, wants to start with Jack. Jon lunges in, only for Jack to sidestep him and deliver a drop toehold. Jack floats over to a headlock on the ground that he loses grip of when Jon rakes the eyes. Jon, not interested in the art of wrestling Jack, slaps him and demands that Jack stop being a coward and let Moosehead Jack out. Jack laughs off the demand before Jon spits in his face. That draws an “OOOOOOHHHHH!” from the fans, but Jack calmly wipes off the spittle and smiles at Jon.
RUSS: “Whether this is a mind game by Jack Quinn, or the actual Jack that we’ll see tonight, this has got to be frustrating to Jon Moxley.” RAZZ: “As long as Alexander Darling is AWOL, OOWF better be praying that Moosehead Jack comes out because Jack Quinn may not be enough to win this match by himself, but I’d put that faith in Moosehead Jack.”
Jack, still smiling, offers a test of strength to Jon and gets a middle finger in response. Jon reaches in to slap Jack, only to get blocked. Jack calmly releases Jon’s arm and nods. Jon, now teeming with anger, walks to his corner and tags in Claudio. Jack and Claudio start with a mat-wrestling clinic that sees multiple reversals and escapes from both parties, but no clear advantage. Claudio catches Jack with a European Uppercut and tries to hoist Jack up for a Swiss Death Forearm, but Jack counters with a Hurricanrana that gets 2.
RUSS: “Wait. Was that … Jack … Did he?” RAZZ: “Yes, and it got 2! What else has he been hiding from us all of these years?”
Jack continues on the offensive against Claudio, working a diverse array of strong-style strikes that Claudio is happy to exchange as the two battle to stalemate after stalemate. Claudio finally gets in front as an Irish Whip to Jack results in Jon blasting him with a boot to the small of the back. From there, Claudio shows off his strength with his lift- and throw-based offense, turning a deadlift gut wrench suplex into a count of 2. Jon gleefully tags in, slapping the downed Jack while continuing to demand Moosehead Jack. Jon dumps Jack the outside and runs him from pillar to post, opening a cut above Jack’s left eye in the process. Jon dabs his finger in the cut and puts it in his mouth before shoving Jack away. As Jack gets up and rolls into the ring, he looks toward the back as there is no sign of Alexander anywhere. Jon waits for Jack to turn around before whipping him from corner to corner and finishing the run with a corner clothesline. That gets 2. Jon, all the while still calling for Moosehead Jack, works quick tags with Claudio as they batter him with the clear-cut numbers advantage. While Jack is isolated in the Blackpool Combat Club’s corner, the feed goes to a split screen.
RUSS: “Fans, we’ve just been informed that Firewoman has located Alexander Darling. We’re going to keep the cameras rolling on the action, but we’ll also send you live to the back.”
*Fire is STORMING~! through the backstage area until she comes to a room. She pounds on the door, and when she gets no answer she steps back and kicks hard right next to the doorknob, which pops the door open. She bursts through the doorway to see Alexander Darling sitting there in a black hoodie while clutching an envelope*
FIREWOMAN: “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!”
FIREWOMAN: “YOU HAVE A MATCH! IT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW!”
ALEXANDER: “Look … I said I'd be here, I didn't say I'd partici—"
*Firewoman picks up something heavy and fragile and throws it against the far wall. That seems to get Alexander's attention and perhaps for the first time since his arrival, he actually looks up at her*
ALEXANDER: “What is your prob—“
FIREWOMAN: “My problem? MY PROBLEM? I know you hate my brother, but right now you're hanging him out to dry.”
FIREWOMAN: “SO~?! Alex …” *sigh* “… I don't know what's going on with you … but … I think you know how I feel about all of this, or at least you used to. If Jack loses, it's not just him that suffers … It's ALL of us. Tony Khan gets all the rights to all of our stuff … Our names … Our ROYALTIES ... EVERYTHING. Please … I'm begging you to put your animosity aside and do this ONE THING. If our friendship … Our marriage … Everything ever meant ANYTHING to you ... Please …"
*Alexander looks away as if he is bored. Firewoman stares at him in disbelief and then her wrist guards and adjusts her knee pads*
ALEXANDER: “What are you doing?”
FIREWOMAN: “What you SHOULD be doing. I don't even know you.”
ALEXANDER: “I'm the same person—"
FW: “BULLSHIT. The Alexander Fucking Darling I know wouldn't sit here and let his legacy be stripped away. The Alexander Fucking Darling I know would get in that ring and clean house, if for no other reason so that he could claim to be the hero of the day.”
ALEXANDER: “I thought you weren't supposed to be wrestling anymore.”
FIREWOMAN: “… The Alexander Fucking Darling I know wouldn't make me.”
*Firewoman gestures at Alexander in a mix of disgust and pity.”
FIREWOMAN: “Clearly … Alexander Fucking Darling left the building.”
The feed comes back to a full screen in the ring as Jack is fighting his way out of a Bulldog Choke from Jon. As Jack somehow gets to a standing position, commotion starts at the top of the entrance ramp as Firewoman gets about three steps past the curtain before security swarms her. While Firewoman starts to fire right hands to anyone wearing yellow, a man in a black hooded sweatshirt slowly walks past the fracas and steps onto the apron. As the buzz fills the arena, the man drops his hood to reveal Alexander Darling, though his expression indicates that he is far from interested in saving Jack.
RUSS: “ALEX. DARLING. IS. HERE!” RAZZ: “Sure, he’s here, Russ, but does he care?”
Jack battles his way to freedom when he instinctively turns to the corner and sees Alexander. Jack stops cold as if he’s seen a ghost, but extends his arm to the corner. Before Alexander can return the favor, Jon hammers Jack from behind and pulls him away from the corner. Alexander doesn’t seem all that concerned. Jon hammers away at Jack, repeatedly calling for Moosehead Jack while also pointing out that Alexander is scared. After Jon shoves a weakened Jack to the ground, he gets on the ground with Jack while also pantomiming reaching to his boot for a knife before standing up and taunting him with a wanking motion. Jon then strides over to Alexander and calls him a sundry of names before slapping him across the jaw. Alexander’s expression turns from disinterest to unhinged in a matter of seconds as his face is now beet red. While Alexander is not encouraging Jack, he’s at least making himself more available for a tag than before. Jon tags in Claudio who softens Jack up with a few uppercuts in the corner before signaling for the Giant Swing. Jack fights as much as he can, but eventually goes for the ride up to 20 revolutions before Claudio starts to lose his sense of balance a bit while keeping the ride going. As the crowd count gets to 30, Claudio stumbles enough to one side that Alexander is able to reach Jack’s arm for a tag that only Remsburg sees. Alexander comes in a house of fire, smashing Claudio with a lariat and pummeling Jon in the corner for good measure. A pair of body slams on Claudio followed by a heavy knee drop gets 2 as the cover is broken up by Jon, who gets a few stomps in until Jack spears Jon out of the ring with his last bit of available energy. In the ring, Alexander runs through Claudio with a pair of lariats and a high knee. Alexander sets up for a Darling Driver, but Claudio escapes and runs Alexander into the corner before hitting three running European Uppercuts. Alexander shakes those blows off and demands another. Claudio obliges, giving him a fourth, but Alexander, now brimming with anger, grabs Claudio and beats him down in the corner as the OOWF sect of fans rallies behind him. From the outside, Jon pops up onto the apron and charges Alexander, only for Jack to trip him up and then place him between the apron and the apron cover. Jack tics for a second before staring Jon in the eyes. From there, Jack pummels Jon with a dozen or so hammerfist strikes. Breathing heavily, Jon begins to scream at Jon.
JACK: “YOU CAN’T EVEN HANDLE AN ALMOST-RETIRED JACK QUINN, YOU SON OF A BITCH, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT MOOSEHEAD JACK WOULD ALLOW YOU TO LIVE? BE HAPPY THAT I AM FIGHTING TO KEEP MOOSEHEAD JACK AWAY FROM YOU.”
Jack lunges in to strangle Jon, who fights out of the grip and escapes his predicament. The two brawl around the ring while Claudio and Alexander are inside doing mostly the same. Alexander hits a running knee on Claudio that gets 2 as Jon again breaks up the count. Jon grabs Alexander by his head and points at a downed Jack, who was woozied up when Jon ran him head-first into a ring post before dropping him with Paradigm Shift, which gets 2.5 as Jack lunges in to grab Jon’s ankle. Claudio stomps away at Jack, while Jon tries to lock Alexander in a Bulldog Choke, only for it to be reversed into a Backdrop Driver that gets 2.5. Jon crawls away after kicking out, only for Jack to cut him off and send him to the corner, sitting him on the top turnbuckle. Alexander and Jack – working together? – each take a side of Jon to set up for a double superplex, only for Claudio to grab both opponents just as the got Jon vertical to powerbomb anyone with a pulse as all four men lay exhausted after the impact.
Remsburg, having lost track of who was legal minutes ago, starts to count out all four men. He gets to 5 before Jack and Jon start to sit up while staring directly at each other. While this is going on, Wheeler Yuta emerges from the crowd while reaching into his pocket and casually sliding a set of brass knuckles into the ring, conveniently within the reach of both Jon and Jack. Jack gets to the brass knuckles first, placing it on his hand and then looking at his hand for what feels like an eternity. Jack sighs and removes the foreign object, tossing it away as Jon uses the moment of distraction to drop Jack with a Paradigm Shift that gets 2.9. During the count, Matt Folz runs down the ramp and wallops Wheeler with a running shoulder tackle and then twists him into an ankle lock on the outside that has Wheeler tapping in seconds although neither are actually able to factor in the decision. In the chaos, Alexander delivers a Hangman’s Neckbreaker on Claudio and heads to the ropes to deliver a BEST FIRESAULT EVAR (!!!???) on Claudio that gets 2.9. Jon dumps Alexander to the outside before Jack does the same to Jon. Claudio keeps Jack in the ring and tries a German Suplex, but Jack reverses and locks in a cobra clutch. As Claudio starts to weaken, Jack is able to straddle Claudio to cinch in a Jiendo. With Alexander having disposed of Jon, he stares down Matt before throwing a right cross that Jack notices, causing him to break the Jiendo on Claudio.
Jack confronts Alexander as Matt shakes the cobwebs. Alexander says nothing, but gestures as if he’s leaving before Jon clips Jack’s leg and causes him to tumble into Alexander. Alexander gets up and begins to walk away from Jack – and all of OOWF – until Claudio drops down and starts a brawl. Matt comes to and pulls Jon off of Moose, only for Wheeler to jump in from behind and trigger a wild brawl between cornermen. Everyone is fighting, including some of the fans before Alexander and Claudio head back to the ring. Claudio gains the advantage and tries to put Alexander in position for a Ricola Bomb, but Alexander slips out, strikes Claudio in the throat before hoisting him position for a Darling Driver that gets 2.9. Alexander can’t believe that he didn’t get 3, starting an argument with Remsburg before Claudio spins Alexander around, boots him in the gut and connects on a Neutralizer that gets 2.9. Now it’s Claudio that cannot believe that Alexander has kicked out. Meanwhile, Jack and Jon’s brawl gets them back in the ring where Jack has the wherewithal to shove Jon into Claudio, causing them to bump heads. Claudio falls as Jon stumbles into Jack, who lifts him in position for GTSF with Alexander dashing in to grab Jon’s legs and turn it into a spike GTSF. Alexander falls on a downed Claudio while Moose covers - and gets 3 - on Jon.
Your winners, (pinfall - 42:48), Jack Quinn and Alexander Darling! OOWF wins the series 4-3.
As Jack rolls off, the bulk of OOWF combatants and Firewoman rush the ring in celebration. Alexander, who seemingly wants no part in the pleasantries, brushes past Firewoman and exits while Matt, Cali Quinn and eventually Firewoman check on an exhausted Jack. The remaining OOWF talent continues celebrating as Russ is losing his mind at the OOWF commentary table.
RUSS: “OOWF IS BACK! WE WILL SEE YOU ON MARCH 25 FOR THE DEBUT OF OOWF SATURDAY SLAM!”
The feed fades out with Jack looking around for his partner while other cameras follow Alexander out of the building and into his waiting SUV.
• Rory Thomas: A kid-next-door white-meat babyface with an unmistakable tuft of red hair. Full of fire and charisma, but lacking in skill and experience. His career has been filled with near-misses against a who’s-who of the independent scene. Outside of a fluke win here or there, he just cannot seem to string together enough of an attack to put away most opponents. Despite this, the young risk-taker keeps coming back every time his name appears on the card thinking that this could be the start of a big turnaround.
• Diego “Pop” Roxton: This Bahamian striker can throw hands, elbows, knees and feet with the best, and has taken a few belts along the way during his illustrious career in the Caribbean. Once thought to be the next breakaway star from the islands, “Pop” felt content to stay home until an opportunity arose to give it one solid go in the U.S.
• Sandra Fallon: Happy-go-lucky beach denizen. The type of girl that you can bring home to meet your parents, but is also the last person you’d want to anger unless you want a sand-covered boot to the face. Has held a title or two before when working weekend shows on the West Coast, but she’s yet to compete in a jungle quite like OOWF.
• Katie Bardoor: A farm-grown brawler with an aw-shucks attitude and a left hook that will make a dentist rich. Katie is at home in a pier-six brawl, but can hold her own in a technical showcase if the situation arises.
• Pork: An affable big man, Pork’s best days in the ring are behind him, but he’s not above gathering a few big paydays in OOWF. Despite his name and large, bulbous frame, Pork is a devout vegan and sees all animals as friends.
Singles - Heels
• Angie Delpetro: A mob heiress with a mean streak. You can count on one hand the number of matches she’s won cleanly, but she’d rather you forget about it. She’ll end more than a few fights with a rear naked choke or her trusty chloroform rag. She’ll run at the sight of blood, mainly because she didn’t do nothing, you see.
• Nuke: A loud-mouthed, punk-influenced kid from the streets of an affluent Minneapolis suburb, Nuke (real name Reese Jennings) will use any means available to him to win a match, gleefully putting his own body at risk if it means that it will inflict more punishment on his opponent. A loner with a cause only for himself, tagging with Nuke will usually result in disaster at the first instance of miscommunication.
• Sean Franklin: Former collegiate wrestler; not a good one, but he got a scholarship to wrestle at North Carolina State and he’ll never shut up about that fact. Uses grappling abilities to bully and punish more than gain an advantage. A quick temper gets him easily flustered when he seemingly has a match in hand.
• Ona Jones: A throwback to the times where hair pulling and eye gouging were as much a part of women’s wrestling as hair pulling and eye gouging. While Ona doesn’t have a diverse set of moves, the ones she chooses to know are quite effective.
• Pete Quick: A con-artist’s soul in a wrestler’s body. No low is too low for Pete if it means getting his way. While his mannerisms and attitude should usually result in a different alignment, his actions tell a much different story while revealing his true colors.
Tag Teams - Tweener
• The Electric Company - Joe and Jamie: These two working-class grapplers have a penchant to let the moment dictate their move choices, often backfiring on them when the risks become too great. Jamie, as a hot tag, is the possible breakout star of the tandem, but the two seem to be tighter than the very snug work shirts they wear to the ring.
• The Woodsmen - Hunter and Dakota: A resourceful pair that can survive the harshest conditions and take down the greatest of beasts. Calculated precision is the calling card of this pair when things are going well, but they’ve been on different pages through most of their time as a team thanks to Dakota’s desire to go too far to prove his worth.
• Battling Baristas – Brynn and Tara: While neither are all that concerned with getting your name right, both will promptly hand you a venti double mocha L with plenty of froth if you underestimate them. Tandem offense, with Brynn serving as the high flyer, is a staple on their menu board.
• The One-Notes – Carrie and Harper: Sure these ladies can grapple, but can they sing? No. Not a lick. That fact doesn’t stop them from trying, however. Carrie is the classically trained mat technician and Harper is the knockout specialist. Just don’t book them to sing you to or from the ring.
<Jack and 13 pull into Bryson City and park the car at the first available spot. They get out and walk down Everett Street discussing the new building as they cross the bridge. Town is quiet, most of the tourists are gone, so it's mostly just locals. They get to the local pizza place, Anthony's, and surprisingly, there is a 30 minute wait. They grab drinks and head out to the porch. A few people stop and say hi, but most just nod and keep on their way>
13: Did you ever think THIS is where you would just blend right in?
J: I never thought I would ever have a place to just blend right in, I never considered the OOWF ending, and.....well, you know the rest
13: <really looking at Jack> Babe, you look like shit. Are you still not sleeping?
J: Not very well. Every time I dream, it just keeps getting worse.
13: Is it Patrick again?
J: No, this is worse, it's......I am not sure how to....
<Just then a gaggle of out of town dude bros come by being the kind of loud and obnoxious that only wealthy entitled kids can be when on vacation spending their parents money.>
<I do not speak their language>
DB1: DUDE! THIS PLACE LOOKS COOL! WE SHOULD GO HERE DUDE!
DB2: LOOK ITS CALLED DERAILED! AND IT'S NEXT TO A TRAIN TRACK! THATS TOTES BONKS!
DB1: AND, LIKE, WHEN YOU GET DRUNK YOU'RE DERAILED, LIKE OFF THE TRACKS AND SHIT
DB3: DUDE THAT IS DO FUCKING DOPE!
DB4: CAN I VAPE IN THERE? NO? THAT'S NOT COOL MAN
DB3: <pointing to Jack> OH MY GOD BROS! LOOK WHO THAT IS! DUDES!
DB4: No dude.
DB3: THAT IS MOOSEHEAD JACK!
DB1: Cool, We're gonna jet and get the pool table bro
DB3: <turning to Jack> DUDE!!! YOU'RE MOOSEHEAD JACK! YOU'RE THE MOST EVIL DUDE EVER! MAN REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU TRIED TO KILL CRETE? OR THAT TIME YOU STABBED THAT GUY THE FIRST NIGHT!!!
J: Yeah, man, hey, glad you're a fan
<the Dude Bro doesn't take the clue though and keeps talking. A dark look crosses Jack's face and his hand slowly starts inching down his leg toward his foot. We see 13 glance that way then back at the Dude Bro>
<13 quickly excuses she and Jack and they head inside. The Dude Bro stands there for a moment and considers following, then something makes him stop suddenly and head off to find the other dudebros>
<13 and Jack are in the car heading home>
13: You wanna tell me what that was about tonight?
Jack: That guy? He was.......annyoning
13: He was. I was talking about you
13: What were you reaching for?
Jack: What are you talking about?
13: You were reaching down toward your boot
Jack: I'm not wearing boots!
13: I KNOW
<Jack takes a minute to process this, then looks horrified>