Okay, it's a little late coming, but here is the final lineup for the Puns House Alternate Fantastic Four
She-Hulk - Jennifer Walters She-Hulk supplies the brawn of the team. As an lawyer, she adds some brain as well.
Ant-Man - Scott Lang Ant-Man adds a stealth quota to the team. As a world class scientist, and former lab assistant to Hank Pym, he is also equipped to handle a lot of the weirdness the FF tend to face.
Crystal - Crysalia Amaqelin Crystal has complete control over the four basic elements, making her the teams ranged powerhouse. Also as a mother, she helps add the family dynamic that the FF are known for.
Spider-Man - Peter Parker Spider-Man fills the brains and agility roles on the team. As someone who has been doing the whole hero thing sense he was a young teen, he also has a surprising amount of experience and leadership to pull everyone else together.
There you have it, the Puns House Alternate Fantastic Four, let me know what you guys think.
I stand corrected, Dougie. That was new information on Dark Beast I hadn't known. That being said, I think Sinister (Nathaniel Essex is one of the best "real names" in comics, by the way) could easily devise either a serum or contraption to attach to Dark Beast and keep him in check if need be and use him to do the trivial science work.
Sinister & Magneto just plain wouldn't work, though. I would see this team splintering into 2:
Magneto Mystique Blob Toad Pyro
Sinister Juggernaut Sabretooth Dark Beast Lady Deathstrike
I can't believe Pym made the team over Bucky. That's the biggest issue I have with the team. I probably could have been talked into a Fist over She-Hulk or Spider-Woman as well but I like both of those characters and the only reason I'd have kept Fist over them is the connection with Cage. I would not have wanted Strange on the team at all as I think he's a shitty character and if I wanted a magic type user, Voodoo was more interesting in the 5 or 6 issues he was Sorcerer Supreme than Strange has ever been to me.