Name: Nick Fleming Height: 6'1" Weight: 235 lbs Face/Heel/Neutral: Heel Build: Athletic, but not ripped Physical Description: Typical Nordic look (blonde, pale skin)
Entrance Music: None Finisher and Description of Finisher: old-fashioned, dangerous Piledriver Favorite Moves (Other): Sleeper, Drop toe-hold Style: (old school, technician, brawler, etc.): Old school technical/submission; no high-flying whatsoever (he doesn't go up on turnbuckles; he might climb to the 2nd rope to drop an elbow, but that's it).
PHWF World Championship 03/05/07: Chris Alt defeats Chris Cole in the final round of the PHWF Championship Tournament 11/26/10: Eric O'Mac declared the PHWF World Heavyweight Champion1 10/26/12: Ember Blackpool def. Matty Allouette2 11/30/12: PHWF World Heavyweight Title merged with the OVOOWF World Heavyweight Title3 03/17/13: Dillon Walker def. Ember Blackpool 03/27/13: Chad Madison def. Dillon Walker 03/28/13: Chad Madison vacates the PHWF World Heavyweight Title 03/28/13: Dillon Walker is awarded the PHWF World Heavyweight Title 06/27/18: Matt Folz is awarded the PHWF World Heavyweight Title4 07/28/18: Matty Alouette def. Matt Folz
1The PHWF ceased operations on 06/30/07 and all titles were declared vacant. Ecosystem reinstated champions on 11/26/10 2The PHWF ceased operations on 12/31/10 and all titles were declared vacant. Ember Blackpool won the title in a tournament final in a newly revived PHWF 3Team PHWF defeated Team OVOOWF in a Federation Merger Match 4Stan Fulton purchased controlling interest in the PHWF on 06/27/18 and declared all titles vacant; he then awarded them to his fellow Saints of Sinners members
PHWF N-Sanity Championship 02/25/07: Concrete TG wins 6-man Ultimate N match 03/05/07: Johnny Adrenaline def. Concrete TG, Viet Cong Viper & Chris Cole 11/26/10: Eric O'Mac declared the PHWF N-Sanity Champion1 12/31/10: The PHWF ceased operations and the N-Sanity Championship was declared vacant and retired 06/27/18: Mai Muyo is awarded the N-Sanity Championship2 07/28/18: Mossi Oxlade def. Mai Muyo
1The PHWF ceased operations on 06/30/07 and all titles were declared vacant. Ecosystem reinstated champions on 11/26/10 2Stan Fulton purchased controlling interest in the PHWF on 06/27/18 and declared all titles vacant; he then awarded them to his fellow Saints of Sinners members
PHWF World Television Title 10/26/12: Matty Allouette won a tournament to become the first PHWF World Television champion 11/23/12: Vlad Dracul def. Matty Allouette 11/30/12: PHWF World Television Title merged with the OVOOWF International Title[/i]1 06/27/18: Moosehead Jack is awarded the PHWF Television Championship2 07/20/18: Steve the Lost Viking def. Moosehead Jack
1Team PHWF defeated Team OVOOWF in a Federation Merger Match 2Stan Fulton purchased controlling interest in the PHWF on 06/27/18 and declared all titles vacant; he then awarded them to his fellow Saints of Sinners members
PHWF Tag Team Championships 10/29/06: The Chickenshit Heels declare themselves PHWF Tag Team Champions[/i]1 02/25/07: Courtney Shaw & Master Gator win four team match 05/04/07: The GOP def. Courtney Shaw & Master Gator and Kenji & Knife 11/26/10: IHOP declared the PHWF World Tag Team Champions2 10/26/12: The Bay Bridge Boyz def. The Draculs3 11/23/12: The Draculs def. The Bay Bridge Boyz 11/30/12: PHWF World Tag Team titles merged with the OVOOWF World Tag Team Titles4 06/27/18: The Saints of Sinners (Stank and Stan Fulton) are awarded the PHWF Television Championship5 07/28/18: Redneck Revolution (Puck Dupp and Billy Wayne Woodward) def. The Saints of Sinners
1The Chickenshit Heels lost and regained the PHWF Tag Team Championships several times between 10-29-06 and 2-25-07 in matches unsanctioned by the PHWF. According to PHWF history, The Chickenshit Heels are the only recognized champions during this period of time. 2The PHWF ceased operations on 06/30/07 and all titles were declared vacant. Ecosystem reinstated champions on 11/26/10 3The PHWF ceased operations on 12/31/10 and all titles were declared vacant. The Bay Bridge Boyz won the title in a tournament final in a newly revived PHWF 4Team PHWF defeated Team OVOOWF in a Federation Merger Match 5Stan Fulton purchased controlling interest in the PHWF on 06/27/18 and declared all titles vacant; he then awarded them to his fellow Saints of Sinners members
FADE in on the offices of the PHWF, currently housed at the World Headquarters of Grand Slam Consulting North LLC. Standing in behind a podium is GSCN’s CEO Martha Rodriguez. She reads from a prepared statement.
“Good morning. The Board of Directors of the Pun’s House Wrestling Federation have issued the following statement.
“Due to the actions of the talent of the PHWF Saturday night at the Saturday Seizures pay-per-view event, all operations of the PHWF have been suspended effective immediately. All employees have been notified by overnight courier. Non-talent employees have been offered positions with Grand Slam Consulting North LLC or the OOWF and/or its affiliates.
“On-air and in-ring talent will be offered entry level contracts as local competitors or enhancing talent. If they choose to decline those contracts, they will be released immediately and their non-compete contracts will immediately go into effect.
“We take the quality of our product seriously and since the talent took it upon themselves to interfere with three of our four championship matches, we can no longer feel comfortable stating that our product is high quality and safe.
“We apologize to our fans and hope to one day bring back the PHWF as the prodigious organization it is.”
OOC: Sorry to the five people paying attention recently. I don’t have the time I thought to keep doing this, nor does the demand seem to be there. – Scott
PHWF Friday Throwdown (#10) Live! (on tape) From Grand Marais, MB, Canada July 20, 2018
“BLAIR WITCH” EMBER BLACKPOOL vs. AKIRU TORNADO Akiru starts house-a-fire with all that flippy shit, but Blackpool decides he’s taken enough kicks to the face and catches Akiru mid-leap and crushes him with a spinebuster. The end is inevitable. WINNER in 4:04 – Ember Blackpool
Tag Team #1 Contender Tournament REDNECK REVOLUTION vs. WRATH OF GODS Puck Dupp and Shiva Singh start this one off with a nice little, feeling-out technical, extended spot. Singh of course thumps Dupp’s eye and that starts a face-in-peril time in which “Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodward keeps trying to get in the ring, the referee gets him back out and Wrath of Gods work over Dupp pretty good. Finally Dupp gets some separation with a back elbow to Zabi Kahn on the apron and Singh eats a foot to the face. Dupp finally gets a tag to Woodward. Billy Wayne cleans house and gets the pin on Kahn with a jackhammer. WINNERS in 13:49 – Redneck Revolution
MURDER, INC. vs. BAY BRIDGE BOYZ This one never gets started as both teams brawl from ringside, into the crowd and ... OH MY GAWD!!!! The Kiribatian Announce Table is destroyed! Referee Kenny Poldark calls this one. NO CONTEST in 0:00
NICK FLEMING vs. GORDY “CURLING STONE” LEFLEUR Another of Fleming’s patented matches: he gets dominated throughout the whole match and hits a piledriver out of nowhere for the win. WINNER in 6:58 – Nick Fleming
PHWF Television Championship STEVE THE LOST VIKING vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK Steve is out first to Dethlok’s “The Lost Vikings.” The crowd is pumped up for Steve as well. “Scarecrow” by Ministry heralds the arrival of the Television Champion, Moosehead Jack. The crowd boos the shit of him, which bothers him not at all.
The bell finally gets this one going and Moose walks to the middle of the ring and goes nose to nipples with Steve. Moose dares Steve to take a swing at him and Steve obliges. For which of course, Moose was ready. Moose takes the swinging arm and brings Steve down into an arm bar on the mat. The next ten minutes or so is Moosehead Jack showing off the mat wrestling skills for which he is NOT known. He is a three time OOWF Onslaught Champion, ya know.
Moose looks like he’s having his way with Steve and the ending is academic. However, the rest of the PHWF roster is not at all pleased with that and they file down to ringside. Steve is stunned in the corner while Moose stands up and walks around the ring jawing at the whole of the PHWF. Matty Aloutte gets the majority of the talking to. Matty jaws with Moose then points behind the TV champ. Moose turns around into THE HAMMER OF ODIN! Moose drops like a sack of wet cement. Steve gets Moose up and nails the ROAD TO VALHALLA! Steve covers and the rest of the roster on that side of the ring hold Moose’s feet down. The referee never sees it (sure he doesn’t...) and Steve gets the win! WINNER and new PHWF Television Champion in 21:01 – Steve the Lost Viking
Moose is livid as the crowd and the roster celebrate on the outside. Moose demands and gets a mic.
MHJ: “You are pathetic. Every one of you. You couldn’t stand to see me as a champion, so you made sure to cheat me out of my title. I demand my contractual rematch for Saturday Seizures. I’m taking my championship back.”
Moose drops the mic and leaves through an opening in the roster. Who go back to celebrating as we take a break.
CONNOR McNASTY vs. GRAN TACO III Quick little match; McNasty gets the win with an Irish Setter (sit out powerbomb). WINNER in 4:11 – Connor McNasty
Tag Team #1 Contender Tournament REDNECK REVOLUTION vs. THE DRACULS Vlad, Radul and Tavian are out to Nox Arcana’s “Calliope.” Plenty of boos from the crowd. They look extremely confident and try to pull Referee Londo Sheridan into a bet on the outcome. Sheridan interrogates the group and it looks like they’ll have Vlad on the outside for this one.
Puck Dupp and “The Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard are out to “Redneck Punk” by Jackyl and the crowd is loving it. Woodward and Tavian will start this off. Sheridan calls for the bell as Radul and Puck Dupp get to the apron.
Collar-elbow tie up in the middle and Woodward backs Tavian into a corner and breaks clean. They do it again and this time Tavian backs Woodward into the corner and he breaks clean, to Woodward’s surprise. Tavian with a smirk as he knows Woodward wasn’t expecting that. They lock up in the middle and Tavian again backs Woodward into the corner, but this time doesn’t break clean because Woodward was expecting it. Tavian shoots elbows into Billy’s ear then takes a step back and nails Woodward with a standing enziguri.
Tavian tags in Radul who mounts Woodward and just lays into him with stiff elbows to the face. Referee Sheridan looks on in concern, but everything is legal. Radul shouts at Sheridan to ask Woodward if he’ll submit. Sheridan does ask, but Woodward refuses. Radul gives Woodword a few more elbows to the face, gets up and hits a few running leg drops. He pulls Woodward into a sitting position and nails a running knee. Cover! Woodward kicks out in two.
Radul tags in Tavian who gets Woodward up and whips him into a corner. Tavian methodically hits a series of standing dropkicks, elbows and splashes on Woodward in the corner until Woodward slumps to the mat, sitting propped up in the corner. Tavian sees his opening and runs the corners to hit a cannonball on Woodward, but Puck Dupp has dropped to the floor and pulled Billy out the way. Sheridan admonishes Dupp who gets back to his corner. Tavian hit hard and Vlad is over to help. Tavian makes the tag (with Vlad’s help) with Radul, but they’re not fast enough to keep Billy from taking Puck Dupp in.
The Dupper with a series of shoulder tackles and clotheslines keeps Radul from being able to focus. Vlad jumps up on the apron just as Dupp gets Radul up into the Tire Rack Torture (over the shoulder back breaker). Radul is tapping, but Sheridan doesn’t see it as he’s trying to get Vlad off the apron. The crowd and Woodward are apoplectic! Finally, Dupp drops Radul onto the mat and walks over to spin Sheridan around. This gets Dupp a finger waggle in the face from Sheridan. Meanwhile, Radul has rolled over to his corner and onto the apron; Tavian gets in the ring and slaps his hands together. Sheridan turns around and isn’t sure if a tag was made, but allows it anyway, as that’s what wrestling referees do.
Dupp tries for a clothesline, but misses. Dupp, and Woodward for that matter, are exhausted. Billy can barely stand in the corner and Dupp’s swings are worthless and weak. Tavian is gleefully taking advantage by making Dupp run around to keep up with him, popping a sucker punch at Dupp when he can, but keeping him out of the reach of Woodward.
Tavian gets Dupp with a Stinger Splash in the corner and Dupp goes down in a heap. Tavian picks Dupp up and is about to hit the Nightwalker (Gangrel’s and Bobby Roode’s pick up DDT) when Vlad has jumped on the apron facing the crowd to celebrate what he believes is a big win. This distracts Tavian and Sheridan as well. Tavian drops Dupp and goes over to knock Vlad on his ass to the floor. But in the meantime, Dupp tags in Woodward. Tavian turns around into a huge spear! COVER! One! Two! THREE!!
WINNERS in 19:07 and #1 Contenders for the PHWF Tag Team Championships – Redneck Revolution
The Draculs are incredulous and are stomping around and getting mad at Sheridan (who’s quickly scampered out of the ring), Dupp and Woodward (who’ve also made their way up the ramp) and finally on Vlad who gets a thorough beat-down by Radul and Tavian. Vlad’s out cold and he’d thrown over Radul’s shoulder as they leave, being jeered by the fans.
Thanks for watching PHWF Friday Throwdown! Our next pay-per-view is PHWF Saturday Seizures, July 28, LIVE! from Toronto, Ontario, Canada! Don’t forget to catch the next PHWF Friday Throwdown, August 3rd from Dildo, Newfoundland! Every PHWF program can be seen on the OOWF Network!
GORDY “CURLING STONE” LEFLEUR vs. VANCE CANNON Back and forth match with Cannon trying to outwrestle LeFleur and LeFleur trying to just flat-out smack around Cannon. Finish comes when LeFleur misses a spear and flies into the corner post; Cannon rolls him up in a small package. WINNER in 6:21 – Vance Cannon
N-SANITY Championship The Saint v. Mai Muyo “Helloween” from The Saints plays out the challenger, The Saint, and his manager. They enter the ring and The Saint stands quietly in the corner while his manager talks his ear off. Skillet’s “Hero” signals the arrival of PHWF N-SANITY Champion, Mai Muyo. She gets a lot of boos from the crowd but she ignores them and slides into the ring.
Referee Alaistair Leckie calls for the bell. The Saint tries to keep Mai grounded, but this title is about “the flippy shit” so the ending is a foregone conclusion. Mai hits the End-is-Here after dominating most of the match and gets the three count. WINNER in 10:03 and still N-SANITY Champion – Mai Muyo
NICK FLEMING vs. AKIRU TORNADO Quick match with Fleming hitting a piledriver for the win out of nowhere after Tornado controlled the whole match. WINNER in 2:57 – Nick Fleming
An advertisement for PHWF Saturday Seizures plays.
MOSSI OXLADE vs. "COWBOY" DILLON WALKER Walker puts on a clinic of mat wrestling and Oxlade tries to power out of Walker’s holds. Walker makes a mistake of trying to headbutt a Samoan and Oxlade takes advantage for a bit, ragdolling Walker from corner to corner, but then Walker thumbs an eye, and takes control until he hits his Black Gold slingshot powerbomb. WINNER in 8:22 – “Cowboy” Dillon Walker
Tag Team #1 Contender Tournament MURDER, INC. vs. REDNECK REVOLUTION DaVida and Kielbasa will start this one as Johnny Icepick roams the outside. Puck Dupp and Billy Wayne Woodward get to the ring and as soon as the bell sounds, DaVida, Keilbasa and even Icepick start ‘clubbering’ the holy hell out of the Revolution. Referee Kenny Poldark finally gets things calmed down and everyone but Dupp and DaVida are cleared from the ring. Icepick gets a warning about interfering as well. Lots of power moves with some mat wrestling sprinkled in between the four men until Poldark catches Icepick grabbing Woodward’s boots as he was whipped to the ropes. Poldark throws Icepick out and Murder, Inc. are incensed! Kielbasa finally turns around into Puck Dupp’s ‘Tire Rack Torture.’ WINNERS in 11:19 – Redneck Revolution
MATTY ALOUETTE vs. “BLAIR WITCH” EMBER BLACKPOOL Both men get to the ring and before Referee John LaRue can ring the bell, “Scarecrow” by Ministry plays and the crowd both cheer and boos as PHWF Television Champion Moosehead Jack comes down the ring with a mic.
MHJ: “Aloutte, I already fought you for this title earlier in the week, but we were interrupted by Mac Flasher.”
Boos ring out from the crowd.
MHJ: “So I’m willing to take you on again, right now.”
Aloutte seems more than willing, but Blackpool grabs a mic from ringside.
EB: “I came here for a match. You’re not kicking me out, Moose.”
MHJ: “Fine. Let’s make this a three-way.”
The crowd loves the idea so...
Three Way Match for the PHWF Television Championship MATTY ALOUETTE vs. “BLAIR WITCH” EMBER BLACKPOOL vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK The match is almost total chaos, which when Moosehead Jack is involved is fairly expected. Moose does, however, slide out of the ring and slump against the padded rail while Aloutte and Blackpool work over each other. The end arrives when Aloutte hits a Montreal Shoejob on Blackpool, but before he can cover, Moose slides into the ring, nails Aloutee with a Buisaku Knee which sends him through the ropes. Moose makes the cover on Blackpool. WINNER in 12:44 and still PHWF Television Champion – Moosehead Jack
GRAN TACO II vs. BISHOP BLAIZE Non-descript squash match as Gran Taco II dominates and lands a slingshot legdrop for the win. WINNER in 2:01 – Gran Taco II
Tag Team #1 Contender Tournament BAY BRIDGE BOYZ vs. WRATH OF GODS Jinx and Spazz high-five the crowd as they enter to cheers and SQUEEEEs. The opposite reaction is given to Kahn and Singh, who don’t seem to give a damn. Match moves fairly pedantic from Singh and Spazz technical wrestling and Jinx and Kahn’s power moves. Jinx finally gets a hot tag after Spazz was face-in-peril for a while and starts to clean house. He gets Kahn out on the mat and goes to the top turnbuckle. Singh tries to get in the ring, but the referee keeps trying to keep him out. While the ref was distracted, the Draculs jump the barrier and Tavian knocks Jinx to the floor while Radu and Vlad work over Spazz. Jinx hit the floor hard and is woozy as all get out and doesn’t struggle as Tavian throws him back in the ring and then gathers his brothers and they take off. The rest is academic and Kahn hits a powerbomb on Jinx. WINNERS in 13:04 – Wrath of Gods
PHWF World Heavyweight Championship SAMMY “FIREWATER” BLACKFOOT vs. MATT FOLZ Blackfoot comes out to “Ghost Dance” and the crowd is fully behind him. “Battle Without Honor or Humanity” by Tomoyasu Hotei signals the arrival of PHWF World Champion Matt Folz, accompanied by fellow Saint of Sinners member Shizuru-mune Mangyūniku.
Shizuru-mune takes a seat by the broadcast team and Folz climbs into the ring. Referee Dick Waiver calls for the bell Folz and Blackfoot lock up. Blackfoot tries to overpower Folz, who mat wrestles his way out of most of Blackfoot’s power moves. Folz works Blackfoot to the mat after a bit and paintbrushes the back of his head, which gets Blackfoot pissed off. Which is what Folz was hoping for as Blackfoot makes a few mistakes letting his anger get the best of him. Folzmission is hit; bell rings; hand raised. WINNER in 10:51 and still PHWF World Heavyweight Champion – Matt Folz
After the bell, Folz takes his belt and slides out of the ring and Shizuru-mune slides in. He goes over to Blackfoot and helps him up and starts to walk away only to spin around and catch Blackfoot with his Dreammaker roundhouse kick. The kick catches Blackfoot right in the head and he goes down in a heap, totally unconscious. Shizuru-mune cocks his head while staring at Blackfoot and finally drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring.
Thanks for watching PHWF Friday Throwdown!
Our next pay-per-view is PHWF Saturday Seizures, July 28, LIVE! from Toronto, Ontario, Canada! Don’t forget to catch next week’s PHWF Friday Throwdown, July 20th from Grand Marais, Manitoba! Every PHWF program can be seen on the OOWF Network!
PHWF Friday Throwdown 8 Live! From the Asheville Civic Center
<We open on the parking lot of the Asheville Civic Center earlier in the day, where British Canadian Bulldog is headed to the arena. A convertible sports car races up behind him and three masked men, suspiciously built like the Draculs, jump out and attack. BCBD fights them off for a moment, but the numbers game is too much. They beat him down to the ground, and one of the masked men PLANTS him with a DDT on the ground! They drag him to the car and open the door, place his arm in the car and REPEATEDLY slam the door! GOOD GOD! Bulldog’s arm has to be broken! Bulldog writhes in pain on the ground, howling in pain. For good measure, one of the masked men pulls a chair out of the car and SLAMS it down on Bulldog’s head, and he stops moving. Carl From Fresno, GM the Rick, and the Vermonsters race to the scene, all wielding baseball bats. The masked men jump in the car and race off, but the damage has been done, there is no way British Canadian Bulldog is competing tonight>
TEAM PHWF vs. TEAM OVOOWF – War Games
Team OVOOWF is announced first, and the crowd boos them loudly. GM the Rick – who is still livid at the attack from earlier today – leads OVOOWF World Heavyweight Champion Carl From Fresno and OVOOWF World Tag Team champions, the Vermonsters, Ben Ice and Jerry Cream to the ring. They huddle in the corner and we see GM the Rick trying to reassure them.
Team PHWF is announced next, and LJ Bennett leads PHWF World Heavyweight Champion Ember Blackpool, PHWF World Television champion Vlad Dracul, and PHWF World Tag Team champions Tavian and Radu Dracul to the ring. The PHWF team is cheered loudly by the fans and they take up their spots on the opposite side of the cage. LJ Bennett and GM the Rick exchange words, and finally Bennett grabs a mic:
LJB: That’s a damn shame what happened to Bulldog earlier Mr. Scaia, a damn shame. I would like to offer my sincerest condolences on that unfortunate incident. It seems your boys have made some enemies in these parts. It certainly appears that you are going to be short handed for this match.
<GM the Rick demands a mic from one of the attendants>
GMtR: Bennett, you can take your condolences and shove them up your ass. I know, you know, hell everyone with a brain – which excludes most of this crowd – knows it was those Dracul animals that attacked Bulldog. Bulldog wanted to compete, because that is the kind of man he is, but the doctors won’t clear him. But before you feel too badly for me, don’t you worry your pretty little head, I have a replacement.
LJB: <laughing> Mr. Scaia, let me remind you that all the boys in the back are under contract with the PHWF, I am afraid none of them are currently at your services. Now, unless you pulled someone off the streets – which is also highly unethical – I do believe you are, to be frank, talking out of your ass
GMtR: Bennett, you have been hanging around this hick town far too long. I understand the boys in the back are off limits. But there is one man you forgot about. Working for a real organization has its privileges. After your boys jumped Bulldog, I made a few calls to Corporate in Dayton, and they sent me a replacement, by company jet, right here to good ‘ol Asheville, North Carolina! <the crowd boos the mocking of their town> You remember this guy don’t you? A guy with a world of potential that you decided to put in a Loser Leaves PHWF match in just your second week of existence? You DO remember that don’t you Bennett?
<Bennett’s smile disappears and a scowl crosses his face>
LJB: No no no. NO! That was NOT the agreement Scaia! The match was to be Champions vs. Champions. That guy has not even wrestled a single match for the OVOOWF! He is NOT a champion! <calming some> Ladies and Gentlemen, can you believe this? Mr. Scaia is trying to change the rules of the game, not very sportsmanlike Mr. Scaia
GMtR: Shut it Bennett. There is a common rule in wrestling, goes back years and years. If a champion is injured and can’t compete, he can name someone to take his place, in effect, making HIM the champion, at least for the evening. So, without further adieu let me introduce the de facto PHWF International Champion………Layne Cobain!
<The crowd murmers at this as Cobain makes his way to the ring, glaring at GM the Rick and the rest of Team PHWF. He doesn’t even wait to talk to GM the Rick, he just steps into the ring and stares daggers at the PHWF crew. Not one to back down from a challenge, Tavian Dracul breaks free from the huddle and races into the cage and the match is ON!>
Cobain catches Tavian with a kick to the gut, then throws him face first into the cage. As Tavian rebounds off the steel, Cobain lifts him and hits an inverted atomic drop, then bounds off the ropes and connects with a big kick to the jaw that sends Tavian sprawling.
Cobain drags Tavian to the cage and mercilessly rakes his face across the steel drawing howls of pain from Dracul. For good measure Cobain lands several stiff kicks to the back of his head. The match cannot end until all eight men are in the ring, so Cobain can do whatever he wants. Cobain pulls Tavian up and sends him into the corner and follows him in with a running knee to the face, lets him stagger out of the corner, then charges after him and chop blocks his knee.
Tavian hits the mat, writhing in pain grabbing his knee, Cobain grabs his leg and kicks the back if his knee, then pulls him back to the corner and slams his knee into the turnbuckle. Cobain pulls him up, scoops him up and ties him in the tree of woe, then charges into the corner with one…..two…….three hard knees to the chest. Tavian falls off the corner to the mat and spits up some blood. Cobain is in rare form and goes for the kill. He grabs a handful of Tavian’s hair and pulls him to his feet and slams him into the cage, all four sides, then catches a stunned Dracul with a ROARING ELBOW to the face! Tavian collapses to the mat, and when Cobain pulls him up again, we see that he has been busted wide open.
Cobain grabs Tavian to pull him up again, but Tavian catches him with a LOW BLOW doubling Cobain over. Tavian gets to his feet and staggers around the ring for a moment, then reaches into his tights and pulls out a small chain and wraps it around his fist. As Cobain stands up again, Tavian charges and BLASTS him right in the face! Cobain collapses to the mat and Tavian pounces on him and hammers him with punches to the forehead, then follows that up by gnawing on a gash making it a huge cut. Cobain is bleeding pretty badly and Tavian gets to his feet and staggers over to the OVOOWF corner and spits a mouthful of blood at the OVOOWF team and taunts them.
Tavian laughs like a madman, then pulls Cobain back to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a SPINEBUSTER in the middle of the ring. Tavian heads to the corner and climbs to the top rope and drops a knee right across Cobain’s chest! That whole mouthful of blood probably wasn’t the best idea by Tavian, the clock counts down and goes off, and a VERY pissed off Carl From Fresno enters the ring.
Carl charges across the ring at Tavian, who tries to get the first punch in, but Carl easily blocks it and slams Tavian in the face with a headbutt. Tavian staggers back into the corner and Carl charges in and CRUSHES him with a clothesline. Tavian slumps to the mat and Carl stomps the holy shit out of Tavian beating him all the way down to the mat. Cobain is slowly recovering, so Carl keeps the offense up. He pulls Tavian to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a POWERSLAM, then grabs him by the hair and slams him face first into the steel cage again. Tavian falls to the mat and tries to crawl, blood pouring off his face, but the demented Dracul is actually laughing about it all, until Carl connects with a stiff kick to the ribs that wipes the smile off Tavian’s face.
Carl pulls Tavian up and slams him into the cage again, then whips him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a BLACK HOLE SLAM! Cobain is back on his feet now, and he tells Carl to pull Tavian up. Cobain heads to the top rope, and Carl lifts Tavian for a powerslam, Cobain leaps off the top rope and clotheslines Tavian, and Carl DRIVES him to the mat! Tavian is DEAD! Tavian tries to crawl to the corner, but Cobain pulls him up and tries a BACKDROP DRIVER, but Tavian has that chain around his fist and he POPS Cobain between the eyes dropping him to the mat. Tavian staggers into the corner and Carl charges in and tries for another corner clothesline, but Tavian catches him with a big boot to the jaw that sends Carl staggering across the ring. Tavian climbs to the middle turnbuckle and leaps, and catches Carl with a knee to the back of the head that sends him to the mat. All three men are down, and the crowd is roaring for the time to tick down so we get another man in the cage.
Tavian gets to his feet and unwinds the chain from around his fist, and loops it around Carl’s throat and pulls him back into a camel clutch! Carl claws at his throat trying to break the hold, Tavian leans forward and gnaws at Carl’s forehead until a trickle of blood appears. Carl’s face is beginning to turn an unhealthy shade of red when Cobain makes the save, laying out Tavian wit ha stiff kick to the back of the head. Cobain grabs Tavian and pulls him up again, and DRIVES him to the mat with a ROLL OF THE DICE. He pounces on Tavian and locks him in a CRIPPLER CROSSFACE! Tavian grins and howls in pain as blood pours down his face, he could quit a thousand times and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference. Carl regains his breath and gets to his feet and lands several stiff kicks to Tavian’s face for good measure.
The time ticks down, and the referee opens the door and Radu Dracul charges into the ring. Carl tries to cut him off, but he ducks a clothesline from Carl and drops to his knees and nails a LOW BLOW on Carl that sends him to the mat. Radu then kicks Cobain in the face and pulls him to this feet and throws him hard into the cage. As Cobain staggers backward, Radu catches him and hits the BACKDROP DRIVER that Cobain tried earlier. Cobain lies motionless on the mat, so an enraged Radu goes after Carl.
With Carl is on one knee¸ Radu charges across the ring and catches him with a running knee to the temple, sending the OVOOWF champion to the mat. Radu drags Carl to the cage and slams his face into the steel, then grabs his arms and hits several CURBSTOMPS driving Carl’s face into the steel, and drawing cries of pain from the champ. Radu turns around and sees Cobain slumped in the corner across the ring, he charges across the ring and KILLS Cobain with a knee to the face. With the OVOOWF competitors down, Radu helps his brother Tavian – who is a bloody mess – to his feet and the PHWF tag team champions actually hear some cheers from the fans.
Tavian staggers to the corner and puts the boots to Cobain, while Radu grabs Carl and pulls him to his feet. Before Radu can inflict any more damage, Carl shoves him away, then KILLS him with a spinning fist to the temple! Radu staggers, stunned from the shot, and Carl charges at him and cuts him in half with a SPEAR! Tavian turns his attention from Cobain and goes after Carl, but Carl ducks a clothesline attempt, grabs Tavian and LAUNCHES him high into the cage! Tavian hits hard, then falls awkwardly between the ropes and the cage, and doesn’t move.
Carl turns back to Radu and peppers him with punches to the face, then sends him into the cage. On the rebound he plants him with a SPINEBUSTER! Carl grabs Radu in a bear hug and holds him while Cobain bounds off the ropes and they hit a HART ATTACK clothesline! Now Carl and Cobain stand in the middle of the ring, and the boos rain down on them.
Carl pulls Radu up again and shoves him into the corner and sets him on the top rope and climbs up for a SUPERPLEX. While he is doing that, Cobain grabs Tavian and tries to pull him up, but Tavian had been playing a little possum, and he BLASTS Cobain in the face with a chain wrapped fist. Cobain falls to the mat and Tavian races across the ring and leaps at Carl and nails him on the back of the head with the chain! Carl slumps and Radu grabs him in a front face lock and hits a TORNADO DDT off the turnbuckle, PLANTING Carl in the middle of the ring!
Radu holds Carl face down on the mat, and Tavian takes the chain and begins whipping him across the back when the timer goes off and Ben Ice comes into the ring. Ice grabs Tavian and PLANTS him on the mat with an OLYMPIC SLAM. Radu gets to his feet and charges at Ice, and he gets driven to the mat with a BELLY TO BELLY suplex for his trouble. Radu is back up and he runs at Ice, but Ice drop toe holds him face first into the cage, then bounces off the ropes and drives a knee to the back of Radu’s head, driving his flesh into the steel cage some more, and busting him wide open.
Ice turns to Tavian and pulls him to his feet and grabs the back of his head and hammers him with forearms and headbutts. Tavian is just about out on his feet, so Ice grabs him and hits a BUTTERFLY BACKBREAKER! He pulls Tavian up again and sends him into the corner where Carl and Cobain take turns kicking the snot out of him. Ice and Radu square off and circle one another slowly. Radu tries a clothesline, but Ice avoids it and tries a PELE KICK, but Radu side steps it and Ice crashes to the mat. Radu lifts him up and hits a Randy Orton backbreaker, then drags his leg to the ropes and sets it on the bottom rope and drops his weight down on his knee several times. Ice writhes in pain, but Radu doesn’t let up.
Radu pulls Ice to the middle of the ring and tries to get him into a SHARPSHOOTER, but Ice reverses it into an ANKLE LOCK! Radu howls in pain, and with Carl and Cobain keeping Tavian beaten into dust, Ice could keep this locked on forever, snap Radu’s ankle, then break the other one as well. Radu finally manages to roll beneath Ice and grab his leg and reverse it into an ANKLE LOCK of his own, but Ice quickly flips onto his back and punishes Radu with kicks to the face, breaking the hold. Radu and Ice both get to their feet, spin around and throw kicks, each one connects with the other upside the head, and both men fall face down on the mat!
Across the ring, Carl and Cobain pull a battered Tavian out of the corner. Carl lifts Tavian onto his shoulders while Cobain climbs to the top rope. Carl hits an F5 on Tavian, and Cobain leaps and hits a diving headbutt! Carl bounds off the ropes and drops a leg across Tavian’s chest for good measure. They help Ben Ice to his feet, and the three of them grab Radu and send him to the ropes, Carl and Cobain lift him in the air and fall back for a FLAPJACK, and Ice POPS him in the jaw with a SUPERKICK! Radu’s head snaps back and he may have been knocked unconscious!
The buzzer goes off again, and now it is the PHWF Television champion Vlad Dracul that enters the ring. He enters slowly, eyeing Cobain, Carl and Ice. Tavian is trying to pull himself to his feet in the corner, while Radu is just stirring on the mat a bit. The OVOOWF contingent back Vlad into the corner. The crowd is firmly behind Vlad and the rest of the Dracul’s, which has to throw them off their game a little bit. Just when it looks like the Ice is going to attack, Vlad explodes out of the corner and catches him with a spinning chop to the neck, then connects with a hard kick to Carl’s knee, dropping him to the mat. Cobain tries a clothesline, but Vlad catches him and hits a SIDE EFFECT! Ben Ice grabs Vlad from behind and pulls him into a reverse waistlock and looks like he is going to try a German suplex, when he slumps to the mat after Tavian nails him with an enzuguri!
Tavian lifts Ice for an atomic drop and drops him crotch first on the top rope. Radu has climbed the ropes and he leaps off with a clothesline that KILLS Ice, sending him to the mat between the ropes and cage. Tavian pulls Ice up and repeatedly slams him face first into the steel, drawing blood as the crowd counts along all the way up to ten. The Draculs have the advantage now, being teammates and brothers and all. Vlad catches Cobain with a kick to the face that sends him to the corner while Radu pulls Carl to his feet and hits a snap suplex driving him to the mat, then floats over and hammers him with punches to the face.
Vlad pulls Cobain out of the corner and sends him to the ropes, elevates him on the rebound, then KILLS him with a ROMANIAN VAMPIRE CUTTER (Diamond Cutter) Cobain has seen better days, and is just as bloody and battered as Tavian at this point. Speaking of Tavian, he has Ice bent backward over the ropes and is gnawing at his forehead, drawing cries of pain from Ice. Tavian goes old school and drops repeated elbows across his face, then slams him face first into the cage again for good measure.
The Draculs now turn the table and turn on Carl like a pack of wolves. A bloody Carl From Fresno fights them off for a minute, landing punches and kicks keeping them at bay, but finally Radu dives in and grabs him around the knees and Tavian and Vlad take him down with kicks to the head. Tavian and Radu hold Carl’s arms and Vlad hammers him with punches to the face. He orders them to pull him to his feet, and he hits a spinning fist to the side of Carl’s head, but Tavian and Radu won’t let him fall, Vlad hits another, they let him go and he lurches forward and Vlad DDT’s him to the mat. They turn to Ben Ice who is just now back on his feet, stepping between the ropes. They are about to attack when the buzzer goes off and the last man for Team OVOOWF, Jerry Cream, the other half of the Vermonsters, the OVOOWF World Tag Team champions, enters the cage.
Jerry checks on his partner and the two of them attack the Draculs. A full brawl erupts as the Vermonsters take it to the Draculs. The Draculs have the numbers advantage for the moment, but that is quickly eliminated when Carl and Cobain get back on their feet and join the fight. Tavian gets taken out by the Vermonsters when they hit TOTAL ELIMINATION on him. Radu is next as he falls prey to a back suplex/neck breaker combo. Vlad does not go quietly though, he rakes Cobain’s eyes and throws him into the cage, and grabs Carl and runs his face on the ropes, but the Vermonsters attack before he can take Carl out.
Cream chop blocks Vlad from behind sending him to the mat. Car and Ben join the attack, and Vlad fights for his life, hitting Carl with a low blow, then fighting to his feet biting Ice, but Ice pushes him back, and Jerry KILLS him with a LARIAT! The Vermomsters pick Vlad up and LAUNCH him into the cage. As he rebounds off the cage, Cream bear hugs him and throws him halfway across the ring with a release belly to belly suplex. Tavian is back on his feet, but Cobain flies across the ring and catches him with a CROSS CHECK sending him between the ropes into the cage. Cobain climbs the turnbuckle and is about to leap on Tavian when Tavian shakes the ropes and crotches Cobain on the turnbuckle.
Radu is on his feet in the corner, Carl tries a corner clothesline, but Radu gets his knees up. As Carl staggers backward, Radu tries a clothesline, but Carl ducks and Radu runs right into a SUPERKICK from Ice! Radu is on dream street and Cream pounces on him and traps him in a CROSSFACE while Ice wraps his legs up into a SHARPSHOOTER! Radu howls in pain and taps, but it does no good at all. Vlad moves to make the save, but Carl stops him. Vlad rakes his eyes, and throws him face first into the cage, then lands a SHINING WIZARD on Ice dropping him to the mat. Vlad pulls Cream off from behind with a straight choke and shoves him into the ropes and the two of them trade chops that would make Ric Flair proud.
In the other corner, Tavian and Cobain are both on the top rope trading punches trying not to fall. As each one hits a shot, the other tries their best not to fall. They are both about to tumble to the mat when Carl and Radu start fighting right in front of them. They both turn and hit hurracaranas off the ropes, Tavian on Carl and Cobain on Radu! Tavian and Cobain barely hit the mat, then start brawling with one another, choking one another and rolling around trading punches. Vlad and Radu break free from their fights and pull Tavian free. They try to regroup, but Carl, Cobain and the Vermonsters are quickly back to their feet. The OVOOWF team is about to charge in and attack again, when the buzzer goes off and the PHWF world heavyweight champion Ember Blackpool slowly walks through the door into the cage.
With all eight men now in the match, a referee comes in after Blackpool. Now the match can end, but only by submission. Pin falls will not be counted, simply because it is far too hectic. The Draculs are all a bloody mess, as are Cobain, Carl and Ice. Only Jerry Cream and Bloodpool remain unbloodied. The eight men go nose to nose in the middle of the ring, a silence falls over the crowd for a moment, they know hell is coming. They don’t have to wait long.
Tavian spits a mouthful of blood in Jerry Cream’s face, and the fight is ON! Blackpool grabs Cobain by the throat and PLANTS him with a CHOKESLAM! Tavian and Vlad double team Cream while Ben Ice attacks Bloodpool. Radu and Carl duke it out, with Carl getting the upper hand after slamming Radu in the face with a HEADBUTT! Ice rock Blackpool with a series of forearms to the head, then hits the ropes and charges in, but Bloodpool catches him with a boot to the face, then goozles him and CHOKESLAMS him as well! With two men down, Carl and Ice have no chance and quickly get beat down to the mat. Vlad and Tavian pull Ice up and whip him into Bloodpool who has a CHOKESLAM for him too! Carl is the next victim, going for the ride as well. Team PHWF stands over the fallen team OVOOWF, but the fight is not over.
The OVOOWF team fights back and we get another fifteen minutes of out of control brawling. The referee nearly gets taken out several times, and before it is over, both Bloodpool and Cream are bloody messes. The fight begins to slow as Tavian and Cobain are nearly dead, and the others are not in great shape. Ben Ice catches Vlad with another decapitating LARIAT, then grabs his leg for an ANKLE LOCK! Vlad fights it, rolls through and tries to kick free, but Ice holds on. While the other six are brawling, this fight goes on in the center of the ring, with the referee paying close attention. Vlad nearly taps, but fights the pain and manages to grab Ice’s leg and take him down and trap him in an ANKLE LOCK of his own! Ice howls in pain, and the referee…….calls for the bell! Ice submits! WINNERS in 57:16 – Team PHWF
The match ends, but the chaos does not. Ice gets to his feet and looks stunned. He says he never tapped or said I Quit! The referee stands firm, but bails out of the ring just in case. GM the Rick is beside himself, racing around the ring screaming “THAT WASN’T THE END! WHAT THE FUCK?” GM the Rick grabs Bennett, who is grinning like a Cheshire cat and is about to hit him when Bloodpool steps out of the ring with the rest of Team PHWF. Tavian brings over the OVOOWF World, International and Tag team titles and hands them out. Team PHWF holds all the gold and backs up the ramp while the crowd roars their approval.
Carl, Cobain and the Vermonsters stand in the middle of the ring with Rick and look stunned. Rick is LIVID. He grabs a mic
Bennett! What the FUCK do you think you are doing? That is not……..YOU KNOW that is not the end! What the FUCK are you trying to pull?
<Bennett grabs a mic once they get to the top of the ramp>
Mr. Scaia, the referee’s decision is final……your man quit, I now OWN the OVOOWF. <the crowd roars> It’s all legal, it’s all by the book, it’s all in the contract. I. Own. You. Ladies and Gentlemen……..you have just witnessed history, in the ring stands the last ever OVOOWF World Heavyweight, International and World Tag Team champions……..tonight, the OVOOWF dies, and the PHWF takes its place as the GREATEST promotion in the world……and Mr. Scaia……there is not a damn thing you, or anyone else, can do about it.
<Team PHWF is joined at the top of the ramp by the rest of the PHWF roster. GM the Rick is still LIVID in the ring, but he is badly outnumbered. We hear him talking to Carl and we catch Rick saying “we will get the lawyers on the phone, NOW…….this cannot be legit……no fucking way can he do this to us………>
PHWF Friday Throwdown 7 Live! From the Asheville Civic Center
PRESTON DAVENPORT QUIGGLEVILLE III vs. TONY DAVIDA
PDQ3 is out first and struts around the ring like a peacock, taunting the fans. DaVida is announced and he wanders out from the back and looks like shit. He doesn’t look like he has changed clothes, or slept, since last week. He jumps at every loud noise and just looks like he wants to hide. As he steps between the ropes, PDQ nails him with a running high knee to the jaw that sends him to the floor. PDQ leaves the ring and brutalizes DaVida, slamming his face into the ring post and nailing a SICK belly to back suplex on the floor. PDQ rolls him back into the ring and keeps the beating up some more, DaVida offers no resistance at all. Finally PDQ hits a PEDIGREE and puts DaVida away for good, 1,2,3. WINNER in 4:08 – Preston Davenport Quiggleville III
After the match, DaVida stumbles to the back, looking at the fans and asking them “why?”
WRATH OF GODS vs. REDNECK REVOLUTION – No Disqualification Match
Both teams are announced and the fists start flying. Dupp attacks Singh and they tumble to the floor and brawl wildly. Inside the ring, Khan tries to use a chain on Woodard, but Woodard drops him with a clothesline, then pulls his belt off and whips him mercilessly. The match goes all over the arena, and even out into the parking lot. All four men are a bloody mess, Dupp gets his head slammed through a car window, Singh has a box of light tubes smashed over his head, Woodard eats a powerbomb off a pickup truck onto a stack of pallets and Khan gets chokeslammed off the dock into a tipped over port-a-potty. The end comes when Woodard hits Singh with a BULLDOG off the back of a truck, driving his face into the gravel! He rolls him over and gets the three count, and the fans explode! WINNERS in 21:29 – Redneck Revolution
MURDER INC. vs. EL GRAN TACOS
Murder Inc., now Joey Kielbasa and Johnny Icepick, come to the ring with Bennett Sinatra and attack the Tacos. They brutalize El Gran Taco I and II beating them in and out of the ring. Sinatra shows his approval outside the ring and encourages more violence. The Taco’s manage to get some hope spots in, but Murder Inc works like a well-oiled machine tonight. They catch Taco II in the ring, and Icepick KILLS him with a BRAINBUSTER, then Kielbasa follows that with an impressive top rope elbow. Taco I breaks up the pin, but while the referee is escorting him out of the ring, Sinatra hands Icepick his cane, and Icepick SLAMS it upside Taco II’s head, Kielbasa falls on him and gets the one, two, three. WINNERS in 6:49 – Murder Inc
EMBER BLACKPOOL & CONNOR MCNASTY vs. SAMMY BLACKFOOT & GORDY LEFLEUR
Blackpool and McNasty wait for Blackfoot and LeFLeur. They come out and Blackfoot goes after Blackpool for what he did to his friend Steve the Lost Viking last week. LeFleur and McNasty mix it up outside the ring. This thing is pretty much an out of control brawl from the bell. Blackfoot takes it too Blackpool, choking him on the ropes and pretty much having his way with the world champion. His luck turns when Blackpool bails out of the ring and he tries a suicide dive, but Blackpool dodges it and Blackfoot slams shoulder first into the steel guardrail. Blackpool DECIMATES Blackfoot, possibly dislocating his shoulder in the process. Meanwhile inside the ring, McNasty survives an onslaught from LeFleur, and when Gordy lifts him for the LUMBERJACK DRIVER, McNasty slips off his shoulders, spins him around and PLANTS him with a DDT, then rolls him over into the CROSSFACE! LeFleur struggles, but can’t escape and is forced to tap out. WINNERS in 20:11 – Ember Blackpool & Connor McNasty
MOSSI OXLADE vs. THE SAINT vs. AKIRU TORNADO vs. BISHOP BLAIZE - #1 Contender Match
This one should be a classic. All four men shake hands before the match, agreeing to keep things clean, and do they ever. The action is fast and furious, with all four men hitting move after move. Blaize and Tornado show off their high flying skills, and keep the crowd roaring for more. The Saint and Oxlade bring more of the technical wrestling, but there is enough to go around for everyone. After thirty minutes, all four men are still going strong. Oxlade catches Tornado on the top rope and takes his tag partner off the ropes with a SWEET release belly to belly suplex. They no sooner hit the mat when Blaize hits a frog splash on Oxlade and the Saint springboards over the top rope and drops a leg across Tornado’s chest. They cover, but can’t get a three count. The match continues at a frenetic paces, finally, after almost 45 minutes, Oxlade has Blaize on the top rope for a suplex, but Tornado catches him with an enzuguri to the back of the head that sends both Oxlade and Blaize tumbling to the floor. As Tornado gets to his feet, the Saint grabs him and hits the REPENTANCE and quickly locks on the FREE YOUR SOUL and gets the submission win. WINNER in 46:51 – The Saint
DILLON WALKER vs. VANCE CANNON – Chain Match
No “touching the corners” rules here. These two are chained together and can use the chain to beat the other into pinfall or submission. Cannon attacks before the bell and nails Walker upside the head with a the chain wrapped around his fist. Cannon appears to be going the Greg Valentine route, and is hammering on Walker’s ear trying to tear it off his head. It’s not long before blood is pouring off the side of Walker’s head. But Walker is not done, he fights back and uses the chain to his advantage as well, dropping a fist down on Cannon’s face that likely breaks his nose, as blood gushes from his nose and mouth. Walker uses the chain to trip up Cannon sending him to the mat. He tries a pin, but Cannon kicks out. The match continues on, getting progressively more bloody and brutal. Cannon tries to hang Walker over the top rope, but Walker desperately holds onto the ropes and pulls himself in. Walker recovers and tries to hogtie Cannon to get the win, but he escapes. The end finally comes when Cannon wraps the chain around his arm and tries a CANNONADE, but Walker sees him coming, wraps the chain around his fist and SLAMS it right between his eyes, then hits a BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX for the one, two, three. WINNER in 26:54 – Dillon Walker
MATTY ALLOUETT vs. VLAD DRACUL – PHWF World Television Title Match
The maniacal Dracul tries to attack before the bell, but Allouette sees him coming and side steps the attack and peppers him with punches to the side of the head sending Dracul out of the ring. Dracul storms around ringside and yells at the fans, Allouette leaps between the ropes and drives him into the guardrail. Allouette rolls Dracul into the ring and begins working the legs and lower back trying to set up for the Montreal Crab. Dracul fights back with every underhand thing he can think of and takes control. Vlad tries to set Allouette up for the VERTEBREAKER but Allouette shoves him off….right into the referee! The ref goes down in a heap. As Dracul gets up, Allouette KILLS him with a SUPERKICK, then grabs him and PLANTS him with the FLEUR DE LIS (Florida Key) Allouette has him for one…..two……three……four…….five……but the referee is still down! Allouette gets to his feet and sees Radu Dracul on the apron, he grabs him, and never sees Tavian Dracul slide into the ring with a BLACKJACK! He nails Allouette on the back of the head, and Matty collapses in a heap! Tavian drags Vlad onto Allouette, and the referee comes to. The Draculs bail and the Bay Bridge Boyz race to the ring to try and stop it, but they end up brawling with Radu and Tavian, inside the ring, the referee counts one, two, three! He never saw a thing! WINNER in 18:11 and NEW PHWF World Television Champion – Vlad Dracul
THE BAY BRIDGE BOYZ vs. THE DRACULS – PHWF World Tag Team Title Match
The Draculs and Bay Bridge Boyz continue their brawl at ringside and it just sort of segues into the match. Jinx and Spazz take control and keep Radu isolated in their corner and hit him with quick tags and double team moves. For some reason, Matty Allouette and Vlad Dracul both have stayed at ringside and are in opposite corners. Jinx snaps Radu to the mat with a hurracarana and goes for the pin, which brings in Tavian, which brings in Spazz, and the four of them brawl wildly. The fight spills out of the ring and soon Matty and Vlad are involved as well. Vlad tries to nail Matty with the TV title, but he ducks and Vlad KILLS Jinx with the belt! Jinx goes down in a heap, blood pouring from a gash in his head. At the sight of blood Tavian goes on the offensive. They pummel Jinx mercilessly until he is bleeding like a stuck pig. Seriously, the referee looks like he might have to stop the match because of the blood. The Draculs are toying with Jinx until he hits an enzuguri on Tavian and crawls toward his corner. In a well-coordinated move, Radu races around the ring and attacks Allouette from behind and throws him shoulder first into the stairs, while Vlad pulls Spazz off the apron and PLANTS him with a DDT! The referee has lost control here! He doesn’t see a thing! Inside the ring, Tavian tells the ref he hurt his knee, so the ref checks on him. With the ref’s back turned, Jinx lunges toward his corner where his partner should be, and hangs on the ropes looking for him, Vlad CRACKS his skull with a chair and Jinx goes limp! Tavian makes a miraculous recovery and pulls Jinx to their corner, Radu makes the tag and they hit a SPIKE PILEDRIVER on Jinx! Radu covers, one, two, three. This one was highway robbery! WINNERS in 19:18 – and NEW PHWF World Tag Team Champions – The Draculs
The Draculs celebrate in the ring as the crowd boos them loudly. “Black Sabbath” plays and Ember Blackpool makes his way to the ring. He steps over the top rope and walks up to the Draculs, and after a tense moment, the three Draculs drop to one knee before Blackpool, Ember grins and holds his title high. What an unholy group we have here! Just then, LJ Bennett makes his way to the ring. He steps between the ropes and shrugs his shoulders and shakes hands with all four men.
LJB: I may not agree with how you did it, but you did it. And because you four are the champions, you will be representing the PHWF in War Games against the OVOOWF <the crowd cheers this> Now, I think we……
<Bennett is interrupted by GM the Rick’s music, and he, Carl From Fresno, British Columbian Bulldog, and the new OVOOWF World Tag Team Champions the Vermonsters, Ben Ice & Jerry Cream. They make their way to the ring, where, during their introductions, the crew has set up a table and two chairs. Bennett is already sitting at one with Bloodpool and the Draculs behind him. GM the Rick sits at the other with the OVOOWF champions behind him>
LBJ: Mr. Scaia, I trust you have reviewed the contract and know everything is on the up and up. As I said last week, your boys have safe passage……so long as there is no provocation
GMR: Save it Bennett. You forget, I know these guys, hell I signed most of the guys IN the PHWF. These three <pointing to the Draculs> are barely human, let alone wrestlers. And this guy…..yeah you…..Undertaker called, he wants his shtick back. <the crowd boos this, which seems to annoy Rick> Boo me? This guy comes in, raids my roster, and sets up shop in some godforsaken backwater hick town and suddenly he means something? <boos> Bennett, you have always been a snake oil salesman. I knew it the minute you set foot in the OOWF. You are a con man, and I am going to enjoy ending you, and this entire sham of a promotion, for good.
LJB: <grinning> You can mock the talent on my side of the ring all you want. I am sure Davey Boy Smith would LOVE to have a word with your International champion over there. And correct me if I am wrong, but didn’t your world champion once lose the DDT title to a cheeseburger wrapper? <the crowd gives an appropriate ooooooh to this> Unlike you, Mr. Scaia, I am not underestimating your men. I know they are talented, but I also know the men behind me will do whatever it takes to win……and prove the PHWF is not only every bit as good as the OVOOWF, but better. I know they will do whatever it takes to get the win, and prove to those idiots in Dayton that each and every one of them deserved a spot on the OOWF roster. They deserved to be fighting for the world title and traveling the world, not languishing in some annex in Dayton Ohio. And next Friday, they are going to prove exactly that.
<Bennett signs the paper and slides it across the table to Rick. Rick never takes his eyes off Bennett and signs it as well. An official steps into the ring and collects the contract>
Official: Gentlemen, I have a coin in my hands, one side is heads, the other is tails. The winner of the coin flip will get the man advantage for War Games. Since Mr. Scaia and the OVOOWF are the guests here, Mr. Scaia please call it in the air
<the official flips the coin>
Official: Heads it is. The OVOOWF team will have the man advantage
LJB: I guess there is only one thing left to do…….
<with that both sides attack and a huge brawl ensues. Bennett and Rick barely escape as bodies fly everywhere. The fight quickly escalates and soon police and security flood the ring and try to keep the eight men apart. We fade to black with the two teams separated by a phalanx of officials while Rick and Bennett scream insults at one another>
PHWF Friday Throwdown Live! From the Asheville Civic Center
EL GRAN TACOS & GORDY LEFLEUR vs. MURDER INC
Murder Inc attack El Gran Taco I and II and Gordy before they can get to the ring. Murder Inc shows a mean streak that we haven’t seen before in beating the Taco’s mercilessly. They powerbomb Taco I through a table, and Kielbasa slams Taco II face first into the ring post. Gordy is cornered in the ring, and the three of them beat him down mercilessly. Eventually the Taco’s manage to get back on the apron, and repeatedly save a beaten and bloody LeFleur from the pin. Finally LeFleur makes the tag to Taco I and he comes in and cleans house. The Taco’s gain the advantage for a few minutes, but finally succumb to what is basically a handicap match with LeFleur trying to recover on the outside. Murder Inc regains the advantage and they triple team Taco II, causing Taco I and LeFleur to get into the mix. The match breaks down a bit as Taco I and Kielbasa fight on the outside, while DaVida throws Taco II over the top rope and they focus on a weakened LeFleur. Icepick holds LeFleur and DaVida charges in for a boot to the face, but LeFleur moves and DaVida catches Icepick in the mouth! From the outside Taco II pulls DaVida out, and LeFleur hits a stunned Icepick with a LUMBERJACK DRIVER (Michinoku Driver) for the one, two, THREE! WINNERS in 16:41 – El Gran Tacos & Gordy LeFleur
The Tacos and LeFleur bail and Icepick, Kielbasa and DaVida argue in the ring. Just when it looks like they might come to blows, “My Way” plays and BENNETT SINATRA walks out! The three men look stunned as he climbs into the ring. He first walks up to Icepick and looks him in the eyes, Icepick’s stare drops and Sinatra holds out his hand and Icepick kisses his ring. Sinatra moves to Kielbasa and stares at him, Kielbasa looks down and hangs his head. Sinatra holds out his hand and Kielbasa kisses his ring as well. He moves on to DaVida, who looks terrified. DaVida looks down and looks almost like he is sobbing. Sinatra forces him to look at him, then kisses him on either cheek, looks at him, and turns around and leaves the ring, Icepick and Kielbasa following him. DaVida stares in shock, and drops to his knees in the middle of the ring, breaking down completely.
WRATH OF GODS vs. REDNECK REVOLUTION
Wrath of Gods tries to turn this into another all out brawl, but Dupp and Woodard force them back into the ring at every turn. Eventually they settle into an actual wrestling match. Dupp and Woodard get the upperhand and use quick tags to keep Singh in their corner. They go for the FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN (Doomsday Device) but Khan saves Singh with a stiff kick to the back of Woodard’s knee that sends him to the mat. Singh then reaches into his tights and throws a HANDFULL OF SALT into Dupp’s eyes while he is on the top rope, sending him to the apron then the floor. Singh and Khan take over and beat Woodard down mercilessly. Dupp stumbles around the outside for a minute, then grabs a beverage from a fan and splashes it on his face, clearing his eyes. Dupp snarls with rage and climbs back into the ring. He nails Singh with a STIFF clothesline that sends him to the floor, then turns around and grabs Khan, who has Woodard set up for the WRATH OF KHAN and punches him between the eyes, which looked like a legitimate punch, then grabs Khan and hits not one, not two, but THREE stiff powerbombs! Woodard covers a stunned Khan while Dupp dares an equally dazed Singh to get back into the ring, the referee makes the count, and we have a bit of an upset here folks! WINNERS in 17:11 – Redneck Revolution
MOSSI OXLADE & AKIRU TORNADO vs. THE SAINT & BISHOP BLAIZE
This one should be a classic. All four men shake hands to start. The bell rings and Blaize and Tornado put on an areal display that awes the crowd. They show off fluid wrestling at it’s finest, then finally tag in Oxlade and the Saint, who keep things more mat based and technical. Neither team keeps the advantage for long, but both show impressive double team moves. Oxlade and Tornado are a little more fluid given that they have teamed before, but their experience still can’t keep either the Saint or Blaize down. Tornado drops the Saint with a TORNADO DDT and tags Oxlade who goes for a SUPERFLY SPLASH, but misses. The Saint gets to his feet and tags in Blaize, who leaps to the top rope, the Saint grabs Oxlade and hits the DIVINITY (vertebreaker) Blaize soars through the air and hits a 360 corckscrew moonsault! He covers Oxlade and gets the one, two, three! WINNERS in 30:33 – The Saint & Bishop Blaize
The crowd gives all four men a standing ovation. They all shake hands after the match and Oxlade and Tornado raise the Blaize and the Saint’s hands in victory
THE DRACULS vs. THE BAY BRIDGE BOYZ & SAMMY BLACKFOOT – Strap Match
This match will be everything the last match was not. Since we can’t strap all of them together, each wrestler is given a leather strap to do what they like with. The Draculs storm the ring, but Jinx, Spazz and Blackfoot are ready for them, and they whip the holy shit out of the Draculs and finally send them scurrying out of the ring. Jinx and Spazz fly over the top rope and take out Radu and Tavian, while Blackfoot wraps the strap around Vlad’s throat and chokes him out. This one turns into a blood bath, with all six wrestlers going fill Muta. The end comes when Jinx heads to the top rope to hit a frogsplash on Radu, who is laid out on a table. Tavian catches him with a strap across the face that drops him onto the turnbuckle. Tavian climbs to the top rope and hits a TOP ROPE PACKAGE PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE! Jinx is DEAD! Radu covers him while Vlad and Blackfoot are busy brawling. Spazz tries to make the save, but Tavian tackles him to keep him from breaking it up, and the Draculs get the blood soaked three count. WINNERS in 18:49 – The Draculs
MATTY ALLOUETTE vs. PRESTON DAVENPORT QUIGGLEVILLE III vs. CONNOR MCNASTY – PHWF World Television Title Triple Threat Match
Davenport attacks McNasty before the bell and dumps him over the top rope, then tries to roll up Allouette as the bell rings, but Matty escapes and gets to his feet and POPS PDQ with a SUPERKICK to the mouth. As he staggers around the ring, McNasty comes back in from outside and nearly takes his head off with a clothesline. McNasty gets a few kicks in on PDQ, then turns around and catches a drop kick on the jaw from Matty. The match keeps on like this, all three getting near falls, but the other always breaking it up. At one point, McNasty and PDQ finally work together to DESTROY Allouette with a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo, but then they argue over who should get the pin and come to blows themselves. McNasty gets the better of the exchange and sends PDQ into the corner and follows him in with a flying knee to the face. He climbs to the middle rope for a SUPERPLEX, but Allouette shows amazing leaping skills by catching McNasty with a drop kick to the back of the head, slamming his head into PDQ! PDQ tumbles off the top, getting his foot caught in the corner, and hanging there like a useless sack of potatoes! Allouette grabs McNasty from the middle rope and hits the FLEUR DE LIS (Florida Key) from the middle rope, bridges hard, and gets the three count! WINNER in 22:11 – Matty Allouette
After the match, the referee raises Allouette’s arm and as he turns around, Vlad Dracul is in the ring! He SLAMS the PHWF TV title upside Allouette’s head! Matty collapses in a heap and Vlad pounds him with punches to the side of the head! Finally the Bay Bridge Boyz and Bishop Blaize race to the ring and chase him away, but the damage has been done, Allouette is a bloody mess.
After they help Allouette out of the ring, familiar music plays and LJ Bennett makes his way to the ring. The fans cheer for the PHWF owner, and he basks in their cheers in the middle of the ring. He is about to speak, when the PHWFTron flickers to life, and we see GM the Rick, the crowd boos him loudly
LJB: Mr. Scaia, it appears that you are not very popular in these parts. I suspect that is why you decided to hide behind a camera this week
GMtR: Funny Bennett. You may have those rednecks down in North Carolina fooled, but I know you. They cheer you, but you are still the same old evil son of a bitch that you were back when you tried to take the OOWF from me. Nothing has changed. As far as me staying here……like I am going to walk into that hick arena and have that idiot Blackpool try to kill me again. Nice try Bennett.
LJB: Well I assume you DO have a reason for interrupting my weekly chat with these fine fans? Perhaps it is to accept my offer of a match. Champions verses champions, winners take all?
GMtR: <laughing> Nope. Not happening Bennett. <the crowd boos this>
LJB: Such a fine upstanding gentlemen you are Mr. Scaia. I propose a perfectly acceptable match, and you and your boys turn tail and run.
GMtR: Oh no Bennett. Make no mistake the match WILL happen. I kicked your ass in War Games once, I will do it again. Only, the match as it stands is not acceptable
LJB: <clearly annoyed> Well Mr. Scaia, what is it you want? Would you like the cage wrapped in bubble wrap so your precious OVOOWF stars don’t get hurt? Or perhaps you would like to stack the deck in their favor? What kind of sneaky stips are you talking about here?
GMtR: Winner take all. And I do mean ALL. When my team wins, I own the PHWF. It becomes property of the OOWF, and you go back to whatever shit hole you came from in Texas.
LJB: <thinking for a minute> So……that also would mean, WHEN my team wins……the PHWF owns the OVOOWF, lock, stock and barrel……..which would also mean…….I own YOU. Is that correct Mr. Scaia?
GMtR: <laughing> I guess it is, but its never going to happen Bennett. You got what you got because those were the guys we weren’t going to hold onto. They are good, but they aren’t ready. And hey, one day they might be. I will have to decide, once I own the PHWF, whether I want to make them OUR minor leagues.
LJB: Mr. Scaia, you have yourself a deal. Next week, you come by here and we will have us an old fashioned contract signing…….after our lawyers review it, of course.
GMtR: Sure right Bennett, me and my boys can show up and get beat down by your entire roster. No fucking thanks
LJB: Mr. Scaia, I am a gentleman. You have my personal guarantee that you and your boys will come to no harm……so long as we are not provoked. I guarantee you safe passage to the ring, and out the arena after.
GMtR: Your guarantee means shit to me Bennett
LJB: Well then how about this…….if my boys attack you, or anyone on your team……unprovoked…..we forego the coinflip, and your team gets the man advantage. Sound fair?
GMtR: <thinking for a minute> I’ll see you next week Bennett, and when I am done signing the contract, I am going to stick it so far up your ass that it will take a dentist to read the fine print
<the feed goes to black and Bennett remains in the ring grinning like a Cheshire cat>
LJB: Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Rick Scaia!
<the crowd boos GM the Rick loudly as LJ Bennett drops the mic and leaves the ring. As he gets to the top of the ramp, he meets a very concerned looking GM Nate Corbitt. We hear Bennett reassure him as they go behind the curtain>
EMBER BLACKPOOL vs. STEVE THE LOST VIKING vs. DILLON WALKER vs. VANCE CANNON – PHWF World Heavyweight Title Fatal Four Way
The match starts and almost immediately becomes two separate matches. Blackpool and STLV brawl inside the ring while Walker and Cannon fight it out outside the ring. In fact the two of them spend the entire match brawling in and out of the crowd, up the ramp and through the back, leaving it essentially a one on one match between the Viking and the demonic Blackpool. Steve uses everything he has and bloodies the champ. STLV gets several near falls and appears to actually get a three count after a fallaway slam off the apron through a table, but after rolling Blackpool into the ring and covering, Blackpool gets his foot on the bottom rope at the last second. Blackpool fights back and hits several high impact moves on STLV. Blackpool KILLS STLV with a POWERBOMB but can’t keep him down. The crowd begins cheering for the Lost Viking, and he fights back and soon the two of them are fighting near the ropes. Steve scoops Blackpool up and tries a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER, but Blackpool kicks his legs and Steve staggers and they tumble over the top rope, but land with their positions reversed! NO DON’T DO IT! Blackpool takes a step forward and TOMBSTONES STEVE OFF THE APRON THROUGH A TABLE! OH! MY! GOD! Medics rush to ringside and check on Steve, Blackpool slowly recovers and rolls back into the ring, the referee gives the fastest ten count ever and calls the match. WINNER in 29:45 – Ember Blackpool
As medics load Steve onto a gurney and take him up the ramp to the back, a bloody Blackpool gets to his feet and slowly raises the title over his head and sneers in STLV’s direction, and we fade to black
PHWF Friday Throwdown 5 Live! From the Asheville Civic Center
<We open to the parking lot of the Asheville Civic Center where GM the Rick is walking toward the building flanked by Carl From Fresno, Gay For Pay and British Columbian Bulldog, all carrying bats. Rick stops when he is confronted by security, he sees the camera and glares angrily at it>
So this is how its going to be Bennett? You jump me and my boys last week and now you are going to have security bail you out?
<Rick looks and sees a fancy caddy with LJB plates, he takes the bat and shatters the windows>
You want another war Bennett? Bring it. I whupped your hillbilly ass the last time, and I will do it again. I have dealt Moosehead Jack, Underdawg, Donovan Viper, Firewoman…….some of the biggest psychopaths on the planet…….you think YOU scare me? Know this Bennett, before the night is over, I WILL get in that building. And when I see you, I WILL beat your ass. That is not a threat, that is a promise.
<with that there is a scuffle between the security force and the OVOOWF guys. Rick eventually backs off, but not before putting a few more dents in the caddy.>
MURDER INC. vs. EL GRAN TACO I & II
El Gran Taco I & II are out, and Murder Inc is announced, but all three, Tony DaVida, Joey Kielbasa and Johnny Icepick come to the ring. Icepick has a mic
I know this is supposed to be a tag match, but we are switching things up. I am supposed to face Gordy LeFleur tonight, well I am making this a six man match, so Curling Stone, get your Canuck ass out here!
LeFleur comes out and we have a nice six man match. Murder Inc does all they can to brutalize the Tacos and LeFleur, but they fight back. The match breaks down and we get a big brawl. Icepick catches LeFleur in the corner and pulls out an actual icepick and looks like he is about to stab him in the head. Behind him DaVida charges at Gran Taco I, but he ducks and DaVida slams into Icepick from behind. Gran Taco I grabs Icepick from behind and rolls him up while LeFleur keeps DaVida from breaking up the pin, and El Gran Taco I& II and Gordy LeFleur pick up the win! WINNERS in 13:54 – El Gran Taco I & II and Gordy LeFleur
After the match, Icepick berates DaVida and Kielbasa in the middle of the ring. He grabs a mic and lays it all on the line.
I talked to the boss today and he IS NOT HAPPY! <DaVida and Kielbasa’s faces both get white and their jaws drop>. He is going to be here NEXT WEEK, and if things don’t change…….<Icepick makes the throat slashing motion and drops the mic and leaves the ring. Kielbasa and DaVida both follow him, looking like whipped puppies>
THE SAINT vs. MOSSI OXLADE
Oxlade and the Saint shake hands before the bell rings, agreeing to follow the rules. The bell rings and the Saint and Oxlade engage in a classic match. Moves, counter moves, near falls, near submissions, this match has it all. Oxlade lands a SUPERLFY SPLASH, but the Saint somehow kicks out before the three count. The fans are getting more and more amped as the match goes on. Finally after almost thirty minutes, the Saint catches Oxlade with a series of superkicks, backing him to the corner. Oxlade tries to charge out of the corner but the Saint catches him with a drop toe hold, and traps Oxlade in the CATTLE MUTILATION! Oxlade tries to make it to the ropes, but he can’t and he is forced to tap out. WINNER in 31:14 – The Saint
After the match the two shake hands and Oxlade raises the Saint’s hand in victory, the crowd gives them a standing ovation.
DILLON WALKER vs. VANCE CANNON
Something of a rivalry developing between these two. They begin the match with a slug fest in the middle of the ring, Walker gets the best of it and sends Cannon out of the ring with a drop kick to the jaw, but Cannon recovers and pulls Walker under the ropes to the floor where the two of them brawl around the ring. The fighting escalates and Cannon catches Walker with the CANNONADE – a brutally stiff clothesline – that sends Walker over the guard rail into the crowd. Walker recovers and soon the fight has moved among the people. Soon enough security makes it out and separates the two wrestlers, but this match is too far gone, and the referee declares it a no contest. WINNER – No Contest in 13:21
THE DRACULS vs. REDNECK REVOLUTION
Redneck Revolution barely makes it to the ring when the Draculs attack. This one is a brawl from the beginning with both teams losing buckets of blood. Dupp and Woodard seem to be a bit worse for the wear while the Draculs revel in the mayhem. The Rednecks fight back and Dupp gets Tavian up for the PUCK DUPP MOVE (snowplow) but Vlad runs into the ring with a chair and SLAMS it across Dupp’s face! The referee never saw it! Tavian covers Dupp, the referee turns around, and the Dracul’s steal another win! WINNERS in 15:55 – The Draculs
BISHOP BLAIZE vs. AKIRU TORNADO
Another handshake of mutual respect to start the match, and what a match it was. Tornado and Blaize put on an areal display that most people have never seen before. Both men hit numerous big moves, including Blaize hitting a 720 splash from the top rope to the floor, nearly knocking himself out in the process. The crowd is solidly behind both men. Tornado rallies from the 720 and catches Blaize with repeated kicks to the head, followed by a BRUTAL brainbuster. He can’t keep Blaize down though. Tornado heads to the top rope, but Blaize catches him and lands the THROUGH THE FIRE AND THE FLAMES (top rope hurracarana) followed by a double underhook driver that gets the one, two, three! WINNER in 22:22 – Bishop Blaize
The two shake hands after the match and the fans go ape shit for both competitors. They shake hands again and raise one another’s arms in victory. More cheers flow from the crowd.
VLAD DRACUL vs. SAMMY BLACKFOOT
Blackfoot attacks at the bell and shows uncharacteristic aggression. Blackfoot hammers Dracul in and around the ring, beating him mercilessly. Dracul tries to fight back, but Sammy cuts him off each time. Tavian and Radu try to get involved, but the Bay Bridge Boyz come to his rescue and chase the Draculs off. As the battle heats up, Sammy pulls his belt off and backs Vlad into the corner. Sammy stares out at the crowd, a vicious look in his eyes. With the crowds approval, Sammy WHIPS THE SHIT out of Vlad! Vlad bails out of the ring and runs to the back like a scalded dog. The referee has no choice, he disqualifies Blackfoot, but at this point, Blackfoot doesn’t seem to care at all. WINNER by disqualification in 5:12 – Vlad Dracul
BAY BRIDGE BOYZ vs. WRATH OF GODS – PHWF World Tag Team Title Match – No Disqualification
Both teams are announced, but neither comes out. We finally cut to the back where we see both teams brawling wildly in the back. The crowd roars when they see this, my they are a blood thirsty crowd tonight. Jinx, Spazz, Khan and Singh throw everything they can at one another and are soon covered in blood. The fight moves out to the parking lot where they brawl all over the place. Each team hits numerous kill moves on the other, but they can’t keep them down. The end comes when Khan and Jinx are fighting on top of a semi-trailer. Khan goes for the WRATH OF KHAN but Jinx slips out of it and POPS Khan with a SUPERKICK that sends him off the trailer and onto a pile of well-placed garbage below. Without even thinking, Jinx leaps off the trailer and lands a SENTON SPLASH! Jinx is broken in half and Khan may be DEAD! The referee makes a quick three count and Spazz and Singh come to their partner’s aid. Medics are quickly called. As they get Jinx and Khan into the building and clear the area, we see GM the Rick creep up to the open back door and waive his men inside. Uh oh. WINNERS in 24:24 – The Bay Bridge Boyz
MATTY ALLOUETTE vs. CONNOR MCNASTY – PHWF World Television Title Match
Back and forth match, Allouette keeps McNasty on the mat for most of the match where his power advantage can’t come into play. McNasty fights back and nearly gets the win with a BRUTAL piledriver, but Allouette kicks out just before the referee hits the mat. The crowd urges Allouette on and he makes the comeback, escaping from McNasty’s Boston crab. As the two slug it out, the referee catches an elbow and goes down. McNasty hits a low blow and rolls Allouette up and has him down for a long time. Finally he breaks the hold and slaps at the referee trying to get him back into the game. When he turns around, Allouette leaps from the top rope and connects with a perfect cross body block. Thanks to McNasty, the referee is in perfect position to count one, two, three! WINNER in 21:01 – Matty Allouette
EMBER BLACKPOOL vs. STEVE THE LOST VIKING – PHWF World Heavyweight Title Steel Cage Match
The two big men walk to the middle of the cage and go eye to eye. The tension builds and builds and finally they come to blows clubbing one another with shots that would break a normal man in half. Ember gets the early advantage and slams Steve’s face into the cage repeatedly, turning the Viking’s face into a mask of blood. Steve, seeing his own blood, flies into a berserker rage and fights back, and does what we have not seen anyone else do, he hammers the demonic Blackpool to the mat, then drags him to the cage and repeatedly slams his face into the steel. Soon Blackpool is a bloody mess too. The two big men continue to tear into one another, with neither maintaining an advantage for long. After over twenty minutes of action, Steve sets Blackpool on the top rope but Blackpool lands several headbutts to the face sending him to the mat. As he comes at him again, Blackpool traps Steve in the GOGOLPLATA! Steve pulls Blackpool off the ropes and DRIVES him to the mat with a powerbomb, but Blackpool does not release the hold! Steve lifts him again and DRIVES him to the mat, but he still does not let go. Steve tries to lift him a third time, but he slumps to the mat, his face turning bright red, blood spurting from the wounds in his forehead. The referee checks, then waves it off, this match is over! WINNER in 25:11 – Ember Blackpool
After both men leave the ring, LJ Bennett makes his way to the ring and steps into the cage.
Ok Mr. Scaia, you have something to say? Let’s hear it.
<GM the Rick comes out from the back, again with the OVOOWF wrestlers behind him. He gets to the ring, and…..they close the door behind him! Rick eyes Bennett, who is now rightfully nervous. Rick twirls the bat, and Bennett tries to scale the cage, but Rick catches him with a shot across the back that drops him to the mat. GM the Rick mounts Bennett and hammers him with punches to the face, then pulls him to his feet and throws him into the cage face first. At that time, the PHWF locker room empties and they storm the ring. The OVOOWF guys stand their ground for a moment, but they are soon overwhelmed and take off through the crowd. Blackpool grabs the door to the cage and tears it off its hinges and starts into the ring, GM the Rick is not s stupid man, he scales the cage and escapes into the crowd to freedom. The PHWF wrestlers check on Bennett and help him to his feet. With blood pouring down his face, Bennett asks for a mic>
Mr. Scaia, you want war……..you got war. War Games. Three weeks from tonight, right here in the Asheville Civic Center, you bring your champions, I bring mine. Winner take all. I am not asking, I am DEMANDING. I am going to finish what I started oh so many years ago Mr. Scaia……and this time, YOU will be the one run out of wrestling. I promise you that.
PHWF Friday Throwdown 4 Live! From the Asheville Civic Center
GRAN TACO I&II vs. KIFFIN ROCKWELL & ROOT BOY SLIM
Rockwell and Slim are locals who are making their first appearance in the PHWF. To be perfectly honest, they have little chance here against the masked Mexicans, and sure enough, Gran Taco I and II make short work of them. Slim and Rockwell get a few hope spots in, and the crowd cheers the local boys, but Gran Taco I and II are just too much for them. Kiffin Rockwell tries to hit a MOONSAULT from the top rope, but he misses and Taco I & II set him up and hit the ROCKET LAUNCHER to get the three count and win. WINNERS in 4:21 – Gran Taco I & II
MURDER INC. vs. MOSSI OXLADE, AKIRU TORNADO & BISHOP BLAIZE
Murder Inc. tries to get the drop on Oxlade, Tornado and Blaize to start the match, but the tables are quickly turned. Oxlade, Tornado and Blaize use their speed to keep the bigger and stronger Murder Inc on their toes. Tornado tries a senton over the top rope, but Icepick catches him and POWERBOMBS him on the floor. Murder Inc takes over and lays a beating on Tornado, busting him open and beating him mercilessly. They stop trying for the pin and get cocky, which allows Tornado to make the desperation tag to Blaize. Blaize and Oxlade DESTROY Murder Inc. The end comes when Icepick tosses the pipe to DaVida to use on Blaize, but Blaize moves and DaVida PASTES Kielbasa. Blaize pulls Kielbasa up and KILLS him with the BLAZING HAMMER, covers and gets the three count. WINNERS in 16:51 – Mossi Oxlade, Akiru Tornado & Bishop Blaize
PRESTON DAVENPORT QUIGGLEVILLE vs. DILLON WALKER vs. VANCE CANNON
Three way action here. The bell rings and PDQ and Cannon go at it. Just like last week, Walker kind of takes a back seat while the action is going on, instead picking his spots trying for roll up wins when the opportunity presented itself. Quiggleville and Cannon soon tire of the cherry picking and turn on Walker. Cannon nearly decapitates him with a clothesline, but when Quiggleville goes for the pin, their teamwork quickly ends. The match continues on, back and forth with all three men getting near falls. The end comes when Cannon has Walker up for a suplex while Quiggleville is on the floor. Quiggleville slides into the ropes and KILLS Cannon with a SPEAR! He drops Walker on his head and Walker rolls out of the ring to the floor. Quiggleville hits a PEDIGREE on a stunned Cannon and picks up the three count! WINNER in 20:12 – Preston Davenport Quiggleville III
GORDY LEFLEUR vs. THE SAINT
Both men are introduced and they shake hands before the bell rings, agreeing to follow the Code of Honor (I stole it from ROH, sue me). What follows is a clean wrestling match with lots of near falls, and counters that leave the fans roaring for more. LeFleur shows he can still hang with the young guys and pulls out some crafty veteran moves on the Saint for several near falls. The Saint keeps his composure and fights out of everything LeFleur can throw at him. The action stays in the ring the entire time, and after a multiple counter spot, the crowd breaks into an – appropriate this time – THIS IS AWESOME chant. The end comes when the LeFleur tries a superplex but the Saint fights out of it and shoves him off the ropes, then nails him with a flying knee drop across the chest. The Saint pulls him up and hits the REPENTANCE, then quickly traps him in the FREE YOUR SOUL. LeFleur has no choice and he taps out. WINNER in 16:51 – The Saint
After the match the two men shake hands and LeFleur raises the Saint’s hand in victory
THE DRACULS vs. REDNECK REVOLUTION & SAMMY BLACKFOOT
Big Brawl to start this one. The Draculs attack with everything they have, but Dupp, Woodard and Blackfoot fight them off. Tavian Dracul fights like a man possessed and pulls a chain out of his pocket and hammers Dupp on the forehead until his face is an unrecognizable bloody mess. The Rednecks and Sammy finally gain control and keep Radu in their corner, but they constantly have to deal with an out of control Tavian racing around the ring and picking a fight, even outnumbered three to one. The end comes when Sammy has Vlad up for the ANCESTORS REVENGE when Radu distracts the referee and Tavian slides into the ring and throws a handful of powder into Blackfoot’s eyes! Blackfoot howls in rage and staggers around blindly. Vlad kicks him in the gut, and he and Tavian hit a SPIKE PILEDRIVER! Vlad covers and gets the three count, the referee didn’t see a thing! WINNERS in 19:09 – The Draculs
BAY BRIDGE BOYZ vs. WRATH OF GODS – PHWF World Tag Team Title Match
Some bad blood between these two teams as Wrath of Gods bloodied Jinx and Spaxx in their last encounter. Singh and Khan try to attack atain, but the BBB are ready for them. The match quickly gets out of control with both teams using chairs and whatever manner of weapons they can find. Jinx and Spaxx catch Khan in the middle of the ring and DESTROY him with springboard spinning kicks to the face. Singh comes in with a kendo stick and takes out Jinx, but Spazz grabs a chair and quickly evens the odds. The brawl continues out of control with all four men a bloody mess. The referee, probably taking a cue from ECW in the past, lets this thing go on for a LOOONG time before he finally realizes that it is about to spill into the crowd and run the risk of some serious havoc. The referee finally decides enough is enough and calls for the bell, and security to come out from the back. WINNER – No Contest in 18:39
MATTY ALLOUETTE vs. CONNOR MCNASTY – PHWF World TV Title Match
Allouette tries some wrestling to start the match, but McNasty is determined to turn it into a brawl. McNasty tries every dirty trick in the book but he can’t keep Allouette down for a three count. McNasty tries a piledriver of the apron through the announce table, but Allouette reverses it and backdrops McNasty onto the apron. Allouette takes him back into the ring and takes over, hitting him with a missile drop kick. Allouette tries to get Allouette over in the MARTEL CRAB but McNasty grabs the bottom rope. As McNasty kicks out of the crab, Allouette bumps the referee sending him to the mat. From behind McNasty hits a LOW BLOW and rolls Allouette up. The referee recovers and counts one, two, THREE! WINNER in 16:12 and NEW PHWF World Television Champion – Connor McNasty
McNasty celebrates in the ring when a second referee comes down and tells the first ref about the low blow. They confer and the original ref orders the match restarted. McNasty grabs the ref threatening to kill him, Allouette grabs him from behind and hits a PERFECT BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX and gets the three count! WINNER in 16:39 and STILL PHWF World Television Champion – Matty Allouette
Allouette slips out of the ring and grabs his title while McNasty seethes in the middle of the ring.
<After things calm down, familiar music hits and LJ Bennett makes his way to the ring, and the crowd boos loudly>
know some of you disapprove of my actions from last week <boos> but I want it to be known that what I did, I did for the PHWF. You see, I know Mr. Scaia, I know what kind of man he is. I know he doesn’t do anything out of the kindness of his heart because that man has never done a thing in his life that didn’t benefit him and him alone.
When I invited Mr. Scaia and the champions of the OOWF here, let me assure you, I had the purest intentions at heart. I really felt that the PHWF and OVOOWF could work together to bring the best wrestling possible to the great fans here in Asheville <some cheers, Bennett seems to be winning people over>. I thought this could be the dawn of a new age; the dawn of cooperation between companies, but Mr. Scaia could not allow that to happen. Here is how I knew Mr. Scaia had not changed his ways at all
<grainy footage out in the parking lot, Rick Scaia walks up to the Bay Bridge Boyz and Matty Allouette, they exchange pleasantries and shake hands, after all, they ARE all former OVOOWF employees. The camera zooms in a little and we pick up the conversation…..>
Look, I know you guys all came here looking for greener pastures, but come on, what are you going to accomplish in this one horse town? I mean seriously, North Carolina? Look…….whatever you were making last time, we will give you 30% more…..
MA: Wait…..we have contracts with the PHWF, we can’t just walk……
GMtR: Please……what are they going to do? These hillbillies down here have no idea how a contract works, I am surprised you are not being paid in chickens. Look, you let our legal worry about that. This whole thing is doomed and you know it. Think about it……and give me a call
LJB: <the crowd is booing the footage loudly> I know, I know. There you have it, Mr. Scaia BLATANTLY tampering with our employees. You see, Mr. Scaia is angry that we raided his roster. He has accused us of bad business, but the fact is, we didn’t even TALK to anyone under contract, did we Mr. Scaia? No, everyone that is now working for us, who had been working for you, was working under handshake conditions. You didn’t want to commit to a long term contract, and we did.
That brings me to my next point…….I need The Bay Bridge Boyz and Matty Allouette to come to this ring.
<the three men make their way to the ring and all look a little confused>
LJB: Don’t worry, I am not Vince McMahon, I am not going to fire anyone, I am not going to force you to kiss my ass or anything like that. What I am here to do <pulling out a stack of papers from his coat> is offer you your unconditional releases. If you want to walk away from the PHWF and go back to Mr. Scaia in the OVOOWF I will release you from your contract and you are free to go. I don’t want anyone here that is working against their will. Just consider this……you three are now champions. You are young competitors that we want to build around. What exactly did you have in the OVOOWF? Jinx, Spazz, I know you are former OVOOWF tag team champions, but when Texpress decided to slum it in the OVOOWF, what did they ask you to do? They told you to go out and make them look good. Get them back in shape so they could get back to the main roster. And you did, you went out and made them look like a million bucks, and what was your reward? Nothing.
<Jinx and Spazz both seem to consider this for a moment>
LJB: And you, Matty Allouette. You went from one of the fastest rising stars in Canada to…….what? You have it all, the looks, the talent, the personality, the promo skills, and what did they ever do with you? They put you in meaningless feud after meaningless feud and never utilized your skills, did they?
<Matty thinks for a minute, then shakes his head agreeing>
LJB: Now, gentlemen, here are the papers <handing them out> the decision is yours. No repercussions, no sneak attacks, you just sign these papers, and you walk out the building free men.
<Allouette, Jinx and Spazz all think for a minute, the crowd breaks into a PLEASE DON’T GO! PLEASE DON’T GO chant. The three look around, then hold up the releases and tear them in half over and over again and litter the ring with confetti. LJ Bennett smiles and shakes their hands as the crowd roars. They leave the ring heading to the back slapping hands with the fans as they go>
LJB: This Mr. Scaia, this right here is why WE are the future of wrestling. I am warning you Mr. Scaia, DO NOT make the mistake of crossing paths with me again, or I promise you, you WILL regret it.
EMBER BLACKPOOL vs. STEVE THE LOST VIKING – PHWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Both men are out, but Blackpool just stands in the center of the ring looking imposing as hell. Steve is not the least bit intimidated, being a damn large man himself. The bell rings and the two giants start hammering one another. The match is your typical big man match, lots of power moves from both. Steve does more damage to Blackpool than we have seen him take so far in the PHWF, even getting a few two counts on the champion. The end comes when Steve charges in for the HAMMER OF THE GODS and Blackpool catches him with a boot to the side of the head, he grabs a stunned STLV, scoops him up and hits a LEAPING TOMBSTONE! Blackpool covers and gets the three count. WINNER in 25:05 – Ember Blackpool
PHWF Friday Throwdown 3 Live! From the Asheville Civic Center
PRESTON DAVENPORT QUIGGLEVILLE III vs. GORDY LEFLEUR
PDQ attacks LeFleur before the bell and beats him down to the mat with a series of punches and chops. As LeFleur tries to get back up, on his hands and knees, PDQ catches him with a nasty kick to the face that sends him over the bottom rope to the floor. The camera pans outside and we see blood pouring from his mouth. The former lumberjack sees his blood and gets angry. Quiggleville comes out of the ring to throw LeFleur back into the ring, but LeFleur catches him with repeated forearms to the chest backing him across the ringside area. As he pins him against the guardrail, LeFleur unleashes a barrage of headbutts to Quiggleville’s face, the crowd counts along until they get to ten and Quiggleville collapses like a pile of jelly. LeFleur rolls him into the ring and covers, but PDQ gets his foot on the bottom rope at two. The match continues on and PDQ absorbs one hell of a beating from the angry Canadian. The tide turns when LeFleur tries a charge in the corner and PDQ explodes out and catches him with a clubbing clothesline. PDQ stares down at LeFleur with rage in his eyes and goes on the offensive. After taking his time picking LeFleur apart, and stopping a rally from the Curling Stone, PDQ catches LeFleur on the top rope trying for the CURLING STONE DROP and hits a TOP ROPE PEDIGREE! Quiggleville turns him over and covers, and gets the one two, three. WINNER in 20:12 – Preston Davenport Quiggleville III
WRATH OF GODS vs. MURDER INC vs. REDNECK REVOLUTION vs. MOSSI OXLADE & AKIRU TORNADO – Winner Get a PHWF World Tag Team Title Match Next Week
There are two referees for this match, on inside the ring and one outside the ring. And they probably needed about half a dozen more. The bell rings and the four teams go to war. The match stays in the ring for about three seconds, then spills outside when Wrath of Gods and Mossi Oxlade and Akiru Tornado brawl around ringside. The four men use everything not nailed down to hit one another with. While that is going on on the outside, Joey Kielbasa and Tony DaVida try to blindside Woodard and Dupp, but the Rednecks see them coming and turn the tables. Dupp catches DaVida with a thunderous spinebuster in the middle of the ring while Woodard has Kielbasa pinnedi n the corner and hammers him with punches to the face. He lets him go and he staggers toward the middle of the ring, right into another spinebuster from Dupp. Oxlade throws Zabi Khan into the ring and comes after him, and the Rednecks and Oxlade take turns double teaming him. The match continues on at a frenzied pace for another twenty minutes. There are broken tables, bent chairs, broken bottles, broken kendo sticks and all manner of plunder lying around the ring. All eight men are bleeding, and the crowd is eating it up. Murder Inc DESTROYS Dupp with a CON-CHAIR-TO and try to cover, but Oxlade and Singh break it up. Singh whips Kielbasa to the ropes, where Khan low bridges him, then KILLS him with a sick DDT on the floor. Across the ring, Akiru Tornado launches himself over the top rope and takes out Woodard and Oxlade, who had been fighting on top of a table. The three of them crash through the table and the crowd breaks out a HOLY SHIT chant! Inside the ring, Dupp lifts Khan for the PLOWBOY POWERBOMB but Singh slips into the ring and low blows him, sending him to the mat. Khan grabs Dupp and hits the WRATH OF KHAN! He covers and gets the one, two, THREE! Wrath of Gods face the tag champs next week! WINNERS in 30:11 – Wrath of Gods
BISHOP BLAIZE vs. DILLON WALKER vs. CONNOR MCNASTY vs. SAMMY BLACKFOOT – Winner Gets a PHWF Television Title Shot Next Week
McNasty attacks both Blackfoot and Blaize, and seems to expect some help from Walker, but Walker just stands in the corner and watches. The numbers game quickly turns on McNasty and Blaize and Blackfoot take turns battering him like a pinball. Sammy Blackfoot finally grabs McNasty and dumps him over the top rope to the floor. Blaize hops onto the second turnbuckle and plays to the crowd, and with his back turned, Walker rushes up behind Blackfoot and rolls him up for a quick two count. Blackfoot kicks out easily and gets to his feet and turns on Walker and unleashes a barrage of chops backing him into the corner. While they fight, McNasty catches Blaize with a clothesline and hangs him in the tree of woe and kicks him mercilessly. McNasty backs up a few steps and charges in for a SPEAR, but Blaize sits up and McNasty slams shoulder first into the ring post. Blaize flips off the top rope and rolls him up with a sunset flip, but Blackfoot takes time from chopping Walker into oblivion to turn and catch Blaize with a kick to the face breaking up the pin. The match continues on with all four men getting near falls. The match stays relatively clean. The fans boo the hell out of McNasty and cheer Blackfoot and Blaize, but they never seem to know what to think of Walker, who spends most of the match being an opportunistic striker rather than involved in the fray. The end comes when Blaize dropkicks Walker sending him over the top rope to the floor. He avoids a Blackfoot clothesline and hits a PELE KICK then springs to the top rope and lands a MOONSAULT! Before he can even cover Blackfoot, McNasty grabs him, pulls him to his feet and nearly DECAPITATES him with a short arm clothesline sending Blaize to the floor. McNasty falls on Blackfoot and hooks his leg and gets the three count. WINNER in 22:18 – Connor McNasty
VLAD DRACUL vs. VANCE CANNON vs. THE SAINT vs. STEVE THE LOST VIKING – Winner Gets a PHWF World Title Match Next Week
Vlad doesn’t wait for the bell, he attacks Steve the Lost Viking with a chair before the bell even rings. Vlad hammers a helpless STLV until the Saint grabs him from behind and takes the chair. The Saint kicks Vlad in the gut and throws him into the ring, where Vance Cannon bounds off the ropes and KILLS him with a clothesline. He covers, but the Saint is back into the ring to break it up before the three count. The Saint pulls Cannon to his feet and knees him in the gut and takes him to the mat with a snap suplex. He floats over and covers, but Vlad is back up and he kicks the Saint in the head, then throws him into the corner and charges in with a high knee. He holds onto the Saint and tries to tear his mask off! From the outside, Steve the Lost Viking grabs Vlad and pulls him out of the ring and the two of them fight on the floor. Inside the ring, Cannon pulls the Saint out of the corner and grabs him around the waist and hits a trio of German suplexes, bridging hard on the last one for a two count. He barks at the referee then whips the Saint into the corner again and charges in, but the Saint catches him with a boot to the jaw, then climbs to the second rope and hits a nice flying clothesline for a two count. By now Vlad and Steve are back into the ring and the four men brawl. The match breaks down with Vlad nearly getting disqualified several times. After over thirty minutes of wild fighting, Steve and Cannon are fighting on the top rope and Cannon tries a superplex, but Steve blocks it and nails Cannon with a TOP ROPE SIDE EFFECT! Steve covers, but Vlad catches him with a kick to the jaw. Vlad turns around and sees The Saint in the corner and charges in, but the Saint moves and Vlad flies into the corner chest first. The Saint grabs him from behind and hits a BACKDROP SUPLEX but can’t even cover when Steve the Lost Viking lands a FLYING HEADBUTT on Vlad! Steve gets up and throws Vance and the Saint over the top rope, then pulls Vlad up and hits a VALHALLA SLAM (Alabama Slam), covers him, and gets the three count! WINNER in 29:29 – Steve the Lost Viking
THE DRACULS vs. THE BAY BRIDGE BOYZ – PHWF World Tag Team Title Tournament Finals
The Draculs try to attack before the bell, but Jinx and Spazz are ready for them. They catch the Draculs with kicks to the gut, Jinx grabs Radu and heads to the corner and hits SLICED BREAD #2! Spazz throws Tavian between the ropes to the floor and springs to the top rope and hits a MOONSAULT on Radu and covers, but Tavian is right back into the ring and breaks it up at two. Tavian gouges Jinx’s eyes and throws him to the mat, then turns to Spazz and pops him in the mouth with a straight punch backing him into the corner. He charges in and climbs the ropes and bits Spazz on the forehead. The referee manages to restore order finally, keeping Tavian under control – if only barely. The Bay Bridge Boyz use fast tags and their speed advantage to keep Radu in their corner. The Draculs take every advantage to cheat and cause mayhem. At one point, Spazz goes for a SSP, but Tavian races around the ring while the referee is distracted and pulls him off the top rope and drives him through a table! He rolls him back into the ring and Radu gets a two count before Jinx breaks it up. The Draculs manage to bloody both of the Bay Bridge Boyz, but Jinx and Spazz show their resolve and keep fighting back. The end comes when the referee gets knocked down. Tavian and Radu each grab a chair and wait for a dazed Spazz to get to his feet. Just as they swing the chairs, Jinx charges across the ring and SPEARS his partner and the chairs slam into each other instead of Spazz’s head! Jinx DROPS Tavian on the chair with a RKO! Spazz grabs Radu and hits a SLINGSHOT suplex, Jinx launches himself over the top rope, SENTON then Jinx flies from the top rope with a LEGDROP! Followed by Spazz hitting a FROGSPLASH! Spazz covers, the referee recovers, and counts the one, two, THREE! WINNERS in 27:21 and NEW PHWF World Tag Team Champions – The Bay Bridge Boyz
They bail out of the ring before Tavian and Radu can recover and celebrate with the fans. Inside the ring, the Draculs seethe with anger and swear vengeance on them
EMBER BLACKPOOL vs. MATTY ALLOUETTE – PHWF World/Television Title Tournament Finals
The winner of this match will become the new PHWF World Heavyweight champion, the loser becomes the PHWF Television champion. Both of these men will walk out with titles tonight. We get the introductions, Matty Allouette gets a huge pop from the crowd as he comes to the ring and waits in the corner. Ember Blackpool is out next, and you would swear you could feel the temperature in the arena drop twenty degrees. The demonic Blackpool makes his way to the ring and stands in the center of the ring basking in the boos from the crowd. The bell rings, and this one is underway! Long feeling out process in this one. Allouette doesn’t want to make any mistakes against the more powerful Blackpool. He uses his speed to evade Blackpool’s attacks, and works his knees trying to get the big man to the mat. Allouette tries a clothesline, but Blackpool catches his arm and wrings it into a hammer lock, then drops him on his knee. Blackpool works over Allouette’s arm and finally climbs to the top rope for a slam across the shoulder, but Allouette pulls Blackpool off the top rope into a POWERSLAM for a two count! Allouette works over Blackpool’s legs, keeping him on the mat. He traps Blackpool in a SHARPSHOOTER and looks like he might get the submission, but Blackpool makes it to the ropes. The match continues on for over forty five minutes. Neither man can keep much of an advantage, though both do get several near falls. The end finally comes when Allouette leaps off the top rope at Blackpool, but Ember catches him and turns it into a POWERBOMB! He covers but only gets a two count. As Allouette stands up, Blackpool charges and hits him with a NASTY running elbow to the forehead that opens a huge gash on Matty’s face and staggers him. Blackpool scoops him up and hits a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER and gets the one, two, THREE! WINNER in 47:31 – and NEW PHWF World Heavyweight Champion – Ember Blackpool
After the match, GM Nate Corbitt and LJ Bennett come to the ring with all the PHWF titles. They call the Bay Bridge Boyz to the ring and hand them their titles. Bennett hands Blackpool his title, while Corbitt gives Matty Allouette the PHWF Television title. Allouette stumbles to the corner, and medics work on stopping the bleeding. LJ Bennett grabs the mic and speaks to the cheering crowd
I am proud of all our PHWF champions! Great matches by the Bay Bridge Boyz, and one HELL of a match between Ember Blackpool and Matty Allouette. But folks, we are not quite done tonight. We have a few special guests I would like to bring to the ring tonight. Ladies and Gentlemen, General Manager of the OVOOWF Rick Scaia, the OVOOWF World Heavyweight Champion Carl From Fresno, the OVOOWF International Champion British Columbian Bulldog and the OVOOWF World Tag Team champions Buck Stiffrod and Peter Throbbingrod, Gay For Pay!
<they all make their way to the ring. British Columbian Bulldog and Matty Allouette shake hands, and Gay For Pay and the Bay Bridge Boyz shake hands. Carl From Fresno approaches Ember Blackpool and extends his hand cautiously. Blackpool glares at Carl, but shakes his hand and the crowd erupts. GM the Rick shakes hands with GM Corbitt, then turns to LJ Bennett>
GMR: Bennett, I wasn’t sure what you had in mind for this, it’s no secret I don’t trust you at all, but you seem to be keeping things on the up and up. I hope this means the two companies can work together
LJB: Rick, I am so glad you see things that way. You see, after everything went down in the OOWF, I admit it left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. The final war games match could have gone either way. I could have been in charge of the OOWF, but instead I was relegated to the sidelines, ostracized from wrestling. For many years, I sat back and seethed, plotting ways to get back at you. But then, one day, I had an epiphany. I watched as your tenure in the OOWF came crumbling to an end. I watched as you were forced out by Ecosystem just like I had been forced out by you. And I realized, wrestling is cyclical, things come around. You can call it karma, or whatever you want, but things have a funny way of working out in the end. So instead of plotting revenge, I decided that I wanted to let bygones be bygones. I wanted to get a fresh start. I saw the opportunity to get involved in the PHWF and I jumped at it. Revenge would wait, vengeance would wait………until now.
<GM the Rick just looks around the ring. GM Nate Corbitt looks confused too>
<with that, The Draculs, Vance Cannon, Connor McNasty, Wrath of Gods, Murder Inc. and Preston Davenport Quiggleville hit the ring and OBLITERATE British Canadian Bulldog and Gay For Pay. Carl From Fresno tries to fight them off, but he walks right into an Ember Blackpool CHOKESLAM! GM Nate is screaming at Bennett, but he has to bail out of the ring before he gets caught up in the slaughter. The Bay Bridge Boyz and Matty Allouette don’t actively participate in the beatdown, but they do nothing to help the guys from the OVOOWF. When it is all over, GM the Rick is standing in the corner, looking at the ring which is littered with OVOOWF wrestlers, bloody, beaten and unconscious. >
LJB: Ricky, I never forgot. I never forgot, and I never forgave. And now, you will pay
<with that, the Draculs grab Rick’s legs from outside and slam him to the mat, then POST him! Rick howls in pain. Ember Blackpool grabs the GM and pulls him off the mat and TOMBSTONES him in the middle of the ring! LJ Bennett stands over GM the Rick’s unconscious body and laughs. He shakes hands with Ember Blackpool, the Draculs and all the others who ran to the ring to help with the slaughter. Matty Allouette and the Bay Bridge Boyz are nowhere to be found. The show ends with Blackpool, the Draculs and Bennett standing with the OVOOWF titles, the fans littering the ring with debris>
PHWF Thursday Throwdown 2 Live! From the Asheville Civic Center
MURDER INC. vs. REDNECK REVOLUTION & GORDY LEFLEUR
Murder Inc comes to the ring first and gets booed out of the building. Icepick gathers DaVida and Kielbasa in the corner and lays the law down to both of them. While he is doing that “Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard, Puck Dupp and Gordy “Curling Stone” LeFleur are announced and make their way to the ring. Murder Inc tries to attack, but The Rednecks and LeFleur are ready for them. What follows is an all out brawl that goes all over the arena. Kielbasa nails Dupp with a chair, Kielbasa tries to put Woodard through a table, but he gets driven into the ring apron instead. In the ring Icepick and LeFleur fight it out. The referee gives them TONS of leeway here and the crowd eats it up. The end comes after almost twenty minutes of non-stop action. Kielbasa and Icepick have LeFleur in the ring, Icepick holds him while Kielbasa pulls out a BLACKJACK! He swings it, but LeFleur moves and he KO’S ICEPICK! LeFleur grabs Kielbasa and slams him in the face with a headbutt sending him out of the ring, then falls on Icepick for the cover and three count! WINNERS – Redneck Revolution & Gordy LeFleur
STEVE THE LOST VIKING & SAMMY BLACKFOOT vs. VANCE CANNON & CONNOR MCNASTY
The uber popular Steve the Lost Viking and Sammy “Firewater” Blackfoot are out first. Vance Cannon and Connor McNasty are out next and the match begins. Connor and Vance try to gain an unfair advantage and beat Blackfoot to the mat, but he fights back and releases a war cry that goes over well in these parts and DESTROYS Vance and Connor with chops and kicks. Blackfoot tags in Steve, and he bellows like a wounded buffalo and charges at the two taking them over the top rope to the floor with clotheslines. The match continues on and Steve has Vance goozled for a CHOKESLAM when McNasty chop blocks him from behind. Steve falls to the mat in pain. The two charge Blackfoot in the corner and knock him to the floor, then Cannon SLAMS him face first into the post. They slide back into the ring, and as Steve gets back to his feet McNasty hits him from behind with a SPEAR as Cannon KILLS him with a CANNON SHOT clothesline. Cannon covers STLV, getting a handful of tights for good measure, and gets the three count. WINNERS in 19:11 – Vance Cannon & Connor McNasty
LAYNE COBAIN vs. DILLON WALKER vs. PRESTON DAVENPORT QUIGGLEVILLE III vs. THE SAINT – Fight For the Right to Work – First Eliminated Leaves PHWF
All four men are announced and make their way to the ring. Not much is known about the Saint. He was just signed to a PHWF contract this past week and was immediately give the chance to prove himself. The bell rings and PDQ and Walker go after Cobain. The Saint initially remains in the corner, but then he gets into the fray evening the mix. The Saint and Walker slug it out in the middle of the ring and eventually fall between the ropes to the floor. PDQ sends Cobain to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a big powerslam and covers, but Cobain kicks out at two. PDQ tries to pull him up but Cobain grabs an inside cradle for a two and a half count. The match continues on with all four men escaping near falls and getting near falls of their own. The end comes with the Saint and Dillon Walker on the floor on the outside after being dumped by PDQ. Cobain is down after taking a BRAINBUSTER from the Saint, Quiggleville toys with him, but Cobain pops up and goes for SLICED BREAD #2 but Quigglevlle reverses the move and turns it into a TOMBSTONE! He covers and gets the one, two, THREE! Layne Cobain is GONE from the PHWF! WINNER in 25:35 – Preston Davenport Quiggleville III
Quiggleville poses in the ring afterward and gets showered with boos. The Saint and Dillon Walker make their way to the back. Cobain looks dejected as he walks around ringside slapping hands with the fans. As he heads up the ramp one man catches his attention. He walks over to the fan, and they have a short conversation. Cobain nods and shakes his hand, then heads up to the ramp to the back. What was that all about?
PHWF World Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals
BAY BRIDGE BOYZ vs. WRATH OF GODS
Jinx and Spazz are announced and race to the ring, where they are blindsided by Zabi Khan and Shiva Singh who are waiting at ringside! They beat down the Bay Bridge Boys, throwing Jinx into the ring steps, then double whipping Spazz right into the ring post! Spazz’s head SLAMS into the post with a sickening thud and he falls to the floor, barely conscious, blood POURING from his head. Wrath of Gods throws Jinx into the ring and spend the next ten minutes beating him mercilessly. Zabi Khan hits the WRATH OF KHAN on him and that will do it. He covers, one, two, thre…..NO! Somehow Jinx kicks out! Shiva Singh comes in and he lines Jinx up for an ASIATIC SPIKE, but Jinx ducks and POPS him with a superkick to the mouth. The crowd roars as Spazz finally gets onto the apron, but he can barely stand. Inside the ring, Singh gets to his feet again and lunges at Jinx, Jinx moves and Spazz catches him by the head. Jinx uses the last bit of energy he has to SUPERKICK Khan off the apron, Spazz drops off the apron clotheslining Singh on the rope. He staggers backward and Jinx grabs him and hits a perfect GERMAN SUPLEX for a three count! WINNERS in 15:50 – Bay Bridge Boyz
AKIRU TORNADO & MOSSI OXLADE vs. THE DRACULS
The Draculs are out first and are frothing at the mouth for some violence. They look like they are about to climb over the railing and into the crowd when Mossi Oxlade and Akiru Tornado are announced. The Draculs try to attack but Oxlade and Tornado repel them. We get a relatively normal match – by Dracul standards – they manage to bloody Oxlade and nearly break Tornado’s back with a running powerbomb into the guardrail, but the crowd favorites fight back and get the advantage. The end nearly comes when Tornado hits Tavian with a TORNADO DDT out of the corner and Oxlade comes out of NOWHERE with a SUPERFLY SPLASH! Radu breaks up the pin with a kick to the mouth. The match breaks down a bit as all four men fight to keep order. As Radu and Oxlade fight in the middle of the ring, Tavian nails Tornado with a low blow on the outside. He gets him onto the apron and hits the HUNGARIAN SPIKE (vertebreaker) off the apron through a table! Tornado may be DEAD! Tavian slides into the ring and hits a low blow on Oxlade while the referee is arguing with Radu. They pick him up and hit a SPIKE PILEDRIVER and get the three count and win. The crowd is NOT pleased. WINNERS in 20:11 – The Draculs
PHWF World Heavyweight Title/World TV Title Tournament Semi-Finals
MATTY ALLOUETTE vs. VLAD DRACUL
Dracul comes out and celebrates with his brothers. Matty Allouette is announced next and makes his way to ringside, then shakes his head and calls to the referee. They talk and seem to agree, and the referee sends Tavian and Radu to the back, which does not make them the slightest bit happy. Matty finally climbs into the ring and Vlad attacks him from behind. Allouette fights back and keeps the fight clean, despite Vlad’s best efforts. The French-Canadian counters every one of Vlad’s dirty tricks and seems well on his way to victory when Vlad catches him out of nowhere with a spinning elbow to the side of the head that knocks Matty goofy. Vlad pounces and pummels Allouette for several minutes and gets numerous near falls on the crowd favorite. Dracul traps Allouette in a CAMEL CLUTCH and tries for the submission, but Matty fights out of it and regains the advantage. The end of the match comes when Dracul grabs a chair and swings for the fences, but Allouette ducks it and drop kicks Dracul in the back, sending him into the corner and slamming the chair in his face! As Vlad staggers backward, Matty lifts him and hits the BURNING HAMMER! He rolls Vlad up and gets the one, two, THREE just before Tavian and Radu get into the ring! WINNER in 30:03 – Matty Allouette
The Draculs beat Matty down, mercilessly pounding him with punches and kicks. The crowd roars as the Bay Bridge Boyz race to the ring with kendo sticks and make the save. Jinx and Spazz help Allouette to his feet and they dare the Draculs to come back into the ring, but the Draculs are not particularly fond of even odds, so they slowly retreat to the back, dragging Tavian – who doesn’t care what the odds are – with them
EMBER BLACKPOOL vs. BISHOP BLAIZE
The demonic Blackpool is out first. He slowly makes his way to the ring, the crowd just in awe. He steps over the top rope and snarls at the fans and waits for his opponent. Bishop Blaize is announced next and races to the ring and slides under the bottom rope. He is the crowd favorite, but he has a tall order ahead of him tonight. The bell rings and the match begins. Blaize tries to use his speed advantage to get Blackpool off his feet, but the big man thwarts him at every opportunity. Blackpool catches Blaize with a clubbing clothesline that sends him to the mat, he drops a knee across his chest and gets a two count. Blackpool pulls Blaize up and whips him to the corner, but Blaize scales the ropes and nails Blackpool with a spinning heel kick to the face that rocks the big man! Blaize keeps the attack on, rocking him with punches and kicks, then finally takes the big man down with a PELE KICK! Blaize climbs to the top rope and lands a SSP and gets a TWO count! The crowd goes wild! Blaize pulls Blackpool up again and lands several kicks to the sides of his legs, then springs off the middle rope and tries a cross body block, but Blackpool catches him and hefts him to his shoulders and tries a POWERBOMB, but, YOU CANNOT POWERBOMB BISHOP BLAIZE! He slips over Blackpool’s shoulders and tries to roll him up, but Ember grabs him and pulls him to his feet and slams him in the face with repeated headbutts, then lifts him for a CHOKESLAM but Blaize wraps his legs around Blackpool’s head and traps him in a TRIANGLE CHOKE! He falls to the mat and Blackpool is in TROUBLE! Blackpool tries to lift him, but he drops to one knee, and the crowd roars. He tries a second time and gets Blaize up, then SLAMS him into the corner. The back of Blaize’s head slams into the turnbuckle and his eyes are glassy. Blackpool regains his composure and savagely attacks Blaize in the corner beating him down with punches and kicks, nearly drawing the disqualification several times. Finally he pulls Blaize out of the corner and hits a POWERBOMB and covers, but Blaize kicks out! Blackpool snarls and hits a second, third, then FOURTH powerbomb proving that you CAN in fact powerbomb Bishop Blaize. Blaize can’t kick out of this one, and Blackpool gets the three count. WINNER in 28:53 – Ember Blackpool
After Blackpool and Blaize leave the ring, GM Nate Corbitt comes out to the ring
Ladies and Gentlemen I hope you have enjoyed another outstanding week of PHWF action. Join us next week when we have the FINALS of the PHWF tag team tournament. The Bay Bridge Boyz take on the Draculs. And, we will crown a PWHF World AND Television champion as Ember Blackpool faces Matty Allouette! But I promised you last week I would reveal how the PHWF came back, I would introduce you to the money man, the man who approached me and told me he wanted back into the wrestling business. That’s right, many of you already know of this man. Ladies and Gentlemen……..LJ Bennett!
<the crowd seems to buzz over this. No one has heard a word from LJ Bennett in years. Bennett makes his way to the ring, shakes hands with Nate Corbitt, then takes the mic>
I can see by the look on your faces that some of you are surprised to see me. I guess it is fair to say that my last venture into wrestling ended less than successfully. That’s ok though, you can’t keep a brilliant man such as myself down. I saw an opportunity here with the PHWF and I plan on taking it. I made a few calls, I offered a few contracts and I assembled a roster that would be the envy of any wrestling fed on the planet
<the crowd cheers this, mostly, though they don’t seem to completely trust Bennett. LJ looks out over the crowd and laughs, but then his eye seems to catch something. He looks closer, then tells the light guy to throw a spotlight over there>
Well well well. Look who it is. <the camera pans over and we see a man in a blue t-shirt and red hat> Ladies and Gentlemen we have us a visitor this week. You may know him as the former General Manager of the OOWF, GM the Rick. What I know him as now, is the General Manager of the OVOOWF because after I attempted to take over the OOWF, he was never the same. Come on up here Ricky, clearly you are here for a reason.
<GM the Rick is hesitant at first, but after encouragement from the crowd, he heads to the ring and climbs between the ropes>
GMtR: Look Bennett, I am not here for any trouble. You did a real nice job of raiding our roster to fill yours. Some of these guys are personal friends of mine, I am just here to make sure they are being treated right.
LJB: Oh please Ricky, no one is buying that bullshit. What was that bit with Cobain earlier?
GMtR: I was just consoling an old co-worker Bennett, that’s all. No reason to get sand in your vagina.
LJB: <seething> You little……..<calming down some> You know what Rick…….the past is the past, right? I know you run the OVOOWF now, and I would like to propose a peace offering. Next week, we crown the new PHWF tag team, television and world champions. Why don’t you bring your boys down here to the Asheville Civic Center and we can have us a nice little photo op in the middle of the ring? Whaddya say Ricky? Two small feds trying to carve their niche in the wrestling world. Two former rivals now co-existing. It’s all good press Ricky!
GMtR: What makes you think I would trust you Bennett?
GM Nate: Mr. Scaia……you have my word. You bring your champions right here to Asheville next week and they will be treated well. We are not looking for trouble. In fact, we will spring for their hotels. It’s on us
<GM the Rick seems to consider this for a moment, then nods his head and shakes hands with Corbitt, then after hesitation, shakes Bennett’s hand as well. The show ends with the three of them in the middle of the ring and the crowd chanting PHWF! PHWF! PHWF!
Thursday Throwdown 1 Live! From the Asheville Civic Center
<we open to the middle of the ring where GM Nate Corbitt is standing>
Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to Friday Throwdown! <cheap pop> It is good to be back here in Asheville North Carolina <another cheap pop>. Now, the big question on everyone’s mind is who is the money man for the PHWF. I can tell you this, that man will be our guest on PHWF Friday Throwdown next week right here in the Asheville Civic Center! Tonight, we have a great card for you, tonight is the first round of the PHWF World Tag Team title tournament! Eight teams fight for the right to be crowned the NEW PHWF world tag team champions! Also tonight, an eight man tournament to crown the NEW PHWF World AND Television champions! It’s very simple, the last two men standing will fight, the winner walks away with the world title, the loser is the television champion! Now, enough talk, we can save that for…….other……shows, let’s get the first match started!
PHWF World Tag Team Title Tournament – Round 1
BAY BRIDGE BOYZ vs. MURDER INC.
Murder Inc – Joey Kielbasa and Tony DaVida attack Jinx and Spazz to start the match. They hammer both men in the corner, then DaVida throws Spazz over the top rope and they focus on Jinx. The two big men keep Jinx on their side of the ring and brutalize him with power moves. Kielbasa uses a small chain to bust Jinx open then hits him with a black hole slam for a two count, broken up by Spazz. Spazz stomps the apron and gets the crowd fired up for Jinx to make the tag. DaVida pulls Jinx to his feet and plants him on the mat then heads to the corner and tries a flying elbow, but Jinx moves out of the way. He crawls to the corner, but DaVida makes the tag to Kielbasa. He cuts Jinx off and tries to throw him over the top rope, but Jinx skins the cat and takes Kielbasa over the top rope with a head scissors. Jinx finally makes the tag to Spazz and he comes in and cleans house. He hits both Kielbasa and DaVida with high flying moves and gets several two counts on Kielbasa. Spazz climbs to the top rope but Kielbasa charges into the corner, Spazz leaps over him and lands on his feet, Kielbasa charges out of the corner and Spazz POPS him with a superkick to the jaw that sends him into the corner. Spazz plays to the crowd, and DaVida slides into the ring, holding a metal pipe. He swings at Spazz, but Spazz ducks and he CLOCKS Kielbasa upside the head! Spazz throws him over the top rope and tags in Jinx. They put Kielbasa on the top rope and Spazz superplexes him, then Jinx hits a WARRIORS STOMP, while he is doing that, Jinx hits a MOONSAULT, followed by a SPAZZ MOONSAULT! He covers, Jinx keeps DaVida out of the ring, and they get the three count! WINNERS in 13:24 – The Bay Bridge Boyz
WRATH OF GODS vs. SAMMY BLACKFOOT & STEVE THE LOST VIKING
Wrath of Gods, Zabi Khan and Shiva Singh are led to the ring by their manager, the nefarious Tobias Zanzibar. They huddle in the corner while the immensely popular Sammy “Firewater” Blackfoot and Steve the Lost Viking are announced. They come to the ring and the heels try to attack, but Blackfoot and STLV send them packing much to the faces delight. Blackfoot and STLV dominate the match using their size and strength advantage to overcome WOG’s cheating at every turn. Sammy KILLS Zabi Khan with a top rope fall away slam and tags in Steve the Lost Viking. Steve comes in and lifts Khan for a NORSE CHOKE SLAM when Shiva Singh throws a handful of SALT into Steve’s eyes! The referee never saw a thing because he was being distracted by Tobias Zanzibar. Khan grabs Steve and hits the WRATH OF KHAN (brainbuster muscle buster) and covers, Singh attacks Blackfoot to keep him from making the save, and for good measure Zanzibar grabs Steve’s foot from the outside to keep him from kicking out and Wrath of Gods gets the three count and win. WINNERS in 11:08 – Wrath of Gods
Both teams come to the ring, Oxlade and Tornado get a huge ovation from the crowd while Cannon and McNasty are nearly booed out of the building. The bell rings and the two teams start the long feeling out process. Oxlade and Tornado make quick tags and keep Cannon and McNasty off balance, but they can’t keep the momentum in their favor. Tornado tries a flying senton but lands on Cannon’s knees. Cannon gets to his feet and nearly decapitates Tornado with a clothesline. He tags in McNasty and Connor works Tornado’s knees and thighs, trapping him in the WALLS OF JERICHO. He nearly gets the submission but Tornado makes it to the ropes and forces the break. The match breaks down as all four men fight in and out of the ring. With the referee distracted, Cannon tries to nail Oxlade with a chair, but Oxlade kicks the chair into Cannon’s face, then quickly heads to the top rope and hits a MOSSI BOMB! (superfly splash), he hooks the leg and the referee turns around and makes the three count! WINNERs in 15:57 – Mossi Oxlade and Akiru Tornado
After the match, Cannon and McNasty attack and leave both Tornado and Oxlade lying in the middle of the ring. The crowd boos the two men, they just shake hands and head to the back.
THE DRACULS vs. REDNECK REVOLUTION
The Draculs attack the immensely popular Redneck Revolution – Puck Dupp and “Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard, from behind before they even get to the ring. The two teams brawl around ringside and the Draculs use everything that is not nailed down to bloody Dupp and Woodard. Tavian taunts the crowd as he sinks his teeth into Woodard’s forehead drawing screams of pain. Across the ring Radu posts Dupp repeatedly, opening a gash on his forehead. Tavian finally rolls Woodard into the ring and chokes him with the tape from his wrists. The referee is barely containing these two. Dupp manages to climb onto the apron, but he appears to barely know where he is. Woodard is about to make the tag, when Tavian hops off the apron and races around the ring pulling Woodard off the apron and DROPPING him on the floor with a DDT! Inside the ring, Radu grabs the bell hammer that Tavian left on the apron and SLAMS it into Woodard’s head! Woodard goes down like he has been shot. Radu pulls him up and Tavian comes in and they hit a SPIKE TOMBSTONE! Radu covers and the three count is academic. WINNERS in 10:44 – The Draculs
<”Rockstar” by Nickleback plays and “Cowboy” Dillon Walker makes his way to the ring. He has a mic, so let’s assume he is going to talk>
How the hell are ya Asheville? <pop> It’s great to be here in Asheville, this is WAY nicer than Arlington. Yeah who needs five star restraints when you can eat at the Lusty Monk? <the fans are not entirely sure what to make of that>. Our esteemed general manager Corbitt had the good sense to bring me into the PHWF, and I have to say I am glad he did. However, it looks like his wisdom may not quite be what I thought it would be. Next week, I will face a current PHWF roster member in a “Fight For Your Right to Work” match. Which, is basically us fighting for a roster spot. Needless to say, I am going to win this match and bring Asheville just what it needs. So whoever it is, from one of them crazy ass Dracul boys to Mossi Oxlade and everyone in between, I am here to kick ass and take names. Oh, and before I go…….whoever wins that PHWF World Heavyweight Title tournament, you are living on borrowed time because the Cowboy wants some gold.
<Walker drops the mic and leaves the ring to mostly cheers, but the fans still are not sure what to make of him>
PHWF World Heavyweight & World Television Title Tournament – Round 1
MATTY ALLOUETTE vs. PRESTON DAVENPORT QUIGGLEVILLE III
Allouette is out first and plays to the crowd. Preston Davenport Quiggleville III is out next, and looks like he would rather be anywhere but here. The Blue Blood looks down his nose at the fans and only reluctantly steps into the ring. Once the bell rings though, all pretentions of snobbery are gone and Allouette and PDQIII put on a wrestling clinic. PDQIII pushes the rules, but doesn’t actually do anything disqualification worthy. Allouette shows why some consider him a future world champion by countering everything PDQIII can throw at him. The end comes after over 25 minutes of action when Quiggleville tries a superplex but Matty shoves him off then hits a perfect cross body block for the surprise 1-2-3! WINNER in 25:42 Matty Allouette
VLAD DRACUL vs. GORDY LEFLEUR
Gordy LeFleur avoids the Vlad attack to start things and peppers him with lefts and rights. LeFleur clotheslines Vlad over the top rope to the floor and plays to the crowd. The aging veteran tries to maintain the advantage, but Vlad ducks a clothesline, then low bridges LeFleur sending him over the top rope to the floor. On the outside, Vlad’s brothers Tavian and Radu race to the ring and pummel Gordy with kicks and punches while Vlad distracts the referee. Mossi Oxlade and Akiru Tornado race to the ring and make the save, but the damage has already been done. LeFleur looks like he has a broken nose and is bleeding from the mouth. Vlad rolls him into the ring and works him over some more. LeFleur makes one valiant attempt at a comeback, fed by the crowds cheers, but a low blow behind the referee’s back ends that. Vlad pulls LeFleur up and PLANTS him with the IMPAILER (package piledriver, them Dracul boys love their piledrivers) and gets the one, two, three! WINNER in 9:54 – Vlad Dracul
BISHOP BLAIZE vs. JOHNNY ICEPICK
Johnny Icepick comes to the ring, accompanied by the rest of Murder Inc., Joey Kielbasa and Tony DaVida. Bishop Blaize is announced and he races to the ring and slides under the bottom rope and immediately takes the fight to Murder Inc. He hits DaVida with a clothesline that sends him between the ropes, then ducks an attack from Kielbasa and nails him upside the head with a spinning heel kick. Icepick waits for his chance and nearly takes Blaze’s head off with a clothesline. Icepick tries to end things quickly with a tilt a whirl powerbomb, but YOU CANNOT POWERBOMB BISHOP BLAIZE! He snaps Icepick to the mat with a HURRACARANA then launches himself over the top rope and takes out both DaVida and Kielbasa. Blaize slides back into the ring and he and Icepick get down to a proper wrestling match. Icepick grounds the high flying Blaize and works his lower back. Blaize takes the punishment and fights back, Icepick whips him to the corner, Blaize scales the ropes and catches Icepick with a missile dropkick. Kielbasa distracts the referee and DaVida climbs into the ring with a chair and takes a swing at Blaize, but he ducks and the chair catches Icepick. Blaize dropkicks DaVida out of the ring and grabs a stunned Icepick and rolls him up for the three count! WINNER in 13:45 – Bishop Blaize
EMBER BLACKPOOL vs. LAYNE COBAIN
Layne Cobain comes out first and slumps in the corner. The demonic “Blair Witch” Ember Blackpool is out next. He stands in the middle of the ring and glares at Cobain. The bell rings and Cobain gets to his feet and tries to attack Blackpool. Bad move. Blackpool DESTROYS Cobain, hitting him with several boots to the face and clotheslining him over the top rope to the floor. On the outside Blackpool whips Cobain face first into the stairs. He lies there motionless, but Blackpool grabs him and hits a POWERBOMB INTO THE GUARDRAIL! The back of Cobain’s head hits the steel and he collapses face first to the floor. Blackpool pulls him up and sends him into the ring and calls for the end. Blackpool traps Cobain in a STANDING ANACONDA until blood begins to spurt from his nose, then lifts him and DRIVES him to the mat with a sort of choke slam. Blackpool drops to his knees and places his hands on Cobain’s chest and gets the quick three count as paramedics slip into the ring to check on Cobain. WINNER in 5:11 – Ember Blackpool
Here is the PHWF roster, so far. If you have ideas or suggestions for moves, music, team names whatever, post them here please.
Faces[/u] Matty Allouette Sammy "Firewater" Blackfoot Puck Dupp Jinx Spazz Mossi Oxlade Steve the Lost Viking Akiru Tornado "Love Machine" Billy Wayne Woodard Bishop Blaize Gordy "Curling Stone" LeFleur Layne Cobain
Heels[/u] "Blair Witch" Ember Blackpool Vance Cannon Radu Dracul Vlad Dracul Tavian Dracul Johnny Icepick Connor McNasty Joey Kielbasa Tony DaVida Zabi Khan Shiva Singh Preston Davenport Quiggleville III
Tag Teams (Entered into the PHWF Tag Team Title Tournament)[/u] Bay Bridge Boyz (Jinx & Spazz) Murder Inc. (Kielbasa & DaVida) The Draculs Mossi Oxlade & Akiru Tornado Wrath of Gods (Khan & Singh) Redneck Revolution (Dupp & Woodard) Steve the Lost Viking & Sammy Blackfoot Vance Cannon & Connor McNasty
<we cut to a room with just a television sitting on a table. The tv turns on and there is static for a moment, then it turns to an interview with the local news outlet>
Darcell Grimes: I am here with Nate Corbitt, the owner and General Manager of the Puns House Wrestling Federation, headquartered right here in Asheville. Mr. Corbitt, we understand that you are bringing professional wrestling back to the Asheville area!
NC: That's right Darcell. Starting this Thursday, we will be running shows at the Asheville Civic Center in downtown Asheville. Our rosters will be posted on punshouse.com, come check us out, bell time is around eight pm
DG: We understand that the PHWF has been on a bit of a hiatus
NC: That is true. We opened operations in 2007 and were successful for several months, but then a raid on talent from.......well, lets just say another promotion based in Ohio, forced us to close shop. We made another attempt in 2010, but it turns out the man backing that was not really interested in parting with his money. This time, however, we have solid backing from a source that I trust completely.
DG: Who is your backing?
NC: Well, I am not at liberty to divulge that at this moment, that will be revealed in good time
DG: It looks like you have big plans for Thursdays
NC: That's right Darcell, and we are going to keep it local. We know we are small, and we are fine with that. Asheville has always been a good city for wrestling. We are not going to take the show all over the world, we want to build a fan base right here in the mountains. Starting this week, we will begin tournaments for the tag team, television and world heavyweight titles
DG: Sounds like a great time! Mr. Corbitt, we wish you the very best!
NC: Don't forget, Thursday Throwdown, live at 8pm at the Asheville Civic Center, if you miss the show, you do television tapings, and replays will be shown at 1:30am Sunday mornings, just after Ring of Honor Wrestling!
<we see a hand turn off the TV, then a cloud of smoke blows toward the television>
<Steve the Lost Viking looks in the Hartford Civic Center, a ring has been set up, but it is now covered in a years worth of dust. He wanders the halls and comes to the room where the food fight was to take place. Rats have devoured most of the food by now, what remains is beyond putrid. He heads to the parking lot and sees the PHWF Tour Bus sitting there, rusting>
I can't believe they want us to work in this shit hole.
Slowly pan out to show the entire scene, with the egg being Extremely large and on a raised platform. The crowd (Where did they come from anyway?) begins to cheer raucously. Suddenly, the egg begins to vibrate and move... and CRACK!
Announcer Voice: No.. It can't be!.... It IS!!!
Suddenly, The Gobbledy Gooker grabs Mean Gene and THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE! He removes his mask and costume and we see...
The crowd Boos relentlessly as he grabs a microphone and begins to speak
You stupid, ugly, lazy Americans! You spend all this day sitting around being fat and doing nothing! And Why? because your forefathers needed help to survive ONE winter without the comforts of home! Russians never needed any help to survive! I am doing something! I am coming here representing the Glorious USSR! I will take all the fat slobs here in the PHWF and Make them squeal like the capitalist pigs they are! Comrade Sharkoff will be the Number 1 just like USSR is Number 1!
He drops the mic and waves a huge Soviet flag as we fade to black............
PHWF 7: Road to Glory Live! From Delamar Ghost Town, Nevada
(no commentary this week, I wasn’t feeling it, and I would rather give you nothing than give you crap)
RYAN TAB vs. SYB
SYB bills himself as hailing from Mooseland, whatever that means. The fans don’t like him at all, which comes as a surprise to anyone. He is rather irritating. Ryan Tab comes out next and makes his way to the ring, slapping hands with everyone that puts their arms out. Tab gets into the ring and leaps to the top rope and poses for the crowd. Not to be outdone, SYB climbs to the top rope and tries to pose, and gets pelted with garbage. Tab sees this and nearly falls off the top rope with laughter. SYB is furious, and challenges Tab to a display of athletic skills. So Tab climbs to the top rope and back flips off the top rope, rolls through backward, then kips up. The fans explode. SYB, not to be outdone, climbs to the top rope, and tries a moonsault, but belly flops badly. After flopping around like a fish out of water for a few seconds, SYB tries a kip up, but falls, repeatedly. Once again the fans boo and pelt the ring with garbage. Tab is nearly doubled over with laughter now. SYB gets to his feet and attacks Tab, clubbing him with forearms to the back. SYB tries a whip to the corner, but Tab reverses it and sends SYB into the corner chest first. SYB staggers backward a few steps and Tab charges and catches him with a bulldog that drops SYB face first on the top turnbuckle while Tab lands on the apron. SYB flops back to the center of the ring, Tab climbs to the top rope and hits the FanTabulous! Cover, one, two three! This one is over! WINNER in 3:51- Ryan Tab
Tab celebrates on the top rope, when suddenly Ryan Insert appears inside the ring and grabs Tab from the top rope and hits the RAZOR’S EDGE! The back of Tab’s head slams into the canvas, and his eyes roll into the back of his head! Insert slips out of the ring and grabs a couple of chairs and he is about to perform a one man con-chair-to, but PHWF Officials flood the ring and keep him from bashing in Tab’s brains.
RYAN INSERT & VIET CONG VIPER vs. KENJI & KNIFE
Kenji and Knife attack as soon as the bell rings, Kenji takes Viper and throws him between the ropes and follows him to the outside, where they brawl around the ring. Inside the ring, Knife nails Insert from behind and backs him into the corner with knife edge chops, but Insert fights free with a scientific thumb to the eye. Insert grabs Knife and runs his head along the top rope, burning his eyes in the process, then insert grabs Knife and chokes him on the top rope. On the outside Kenji and Viper are taking turns slamming each others heads into anything that is not nailed down. They both land chops at the same time, then each one staggers in opposite directions and grabs a chair, they turn and both men shoot chairs at each other’s heads. Viper ducks his at the last second, Kenji is not so lucky, the chair bounces off his head. Viper grabs Kenji and drops him to the floor, and locks on the Anaconda Vice! Kenji is in trouble! The referee leaves the ring and checks on the two men. Inside the ring, insert lets go of Knife and lets him fall to the canvas, when he turns around, Ryan Tab is standing in the ring with a chair, Insert has no time to react and catches a steel chair right between the eyes. Tab stands over insert and stares him down. Tab then leaves the ring as Insert begins to stir. Ryan Insert gets to his feet and sees Tab on the outside of the ring, when he turns around Knife is on his feet, he pops Insert with a super kick right to the jaw, then covers, hooks both legs. The referee sees what is happening inside the ring and slides in and makes the three count. WINNERS in 9:42 – Kenji & Knife
ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. CHRIS COLE vs. MGB - #1 Contenders Match
All three men make it to the ring, and meet in the center of the ring and the jawing begins. AA pulls a wad of money out of his tights and appears to be offering a bribe to the other two men. MGB readily accepts the money, sticks it in his tights and turns to leave the ring. Cole is next, he takes a little more convincing, but then he takes the money and he turns to leave the ring as well. AA celebrates and heads to the top rope to show his smarts. Cole and MGB both charge the corner and pull AA down, Cole whips AA to the ropes and MGB nearly kills him with a clothesline from hell. AA’s money spills all over the ring, and AA rolls under the bottom rope and falls to the floor. Cole and MGB look at the money lying all over the ring, MBG starts picking up the money and pocketing it, Cole waits, and catches MGB while he is doubled over and drops him with a pile driver! Cole covers MGB, one, two, AA reaches in and pulls AA out of the ring and drops him on the floor with a DDT. AA climbs into the ring and waits for MGB to get to his feet, as he does, AA kicks him in the midsection, then rebounds off the ropes and sends MGB right back to the mat with a running knee lift. Chris Cole is fighting to his feet on the outside and gets back on the apron, but AA runs over and nails him in the side of the head with a forearm. AA turns back to MGH, who charges trying for another clothesline from hell, but AA ducks, and as MGB rebounds off the ropes AA slaps on the CLAW!!! No one has ever broken the claw! MGB fights the move, but eventually he succumbs falling to the mat. AA keeps the pressure on and gets a two count, then, without the referee seeing, he puts his feet on the middle rope and gets the three count! WINNER in 15:03 – Attitude Adjuster
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. SPIN HANSEN – Steel Cage Match
Moosehead Jack comes to the ring first and waits in the cage like a caged lion. Spin Hansen comes out next and marches right to the ring, eyes focused. Spin gets to the door and pauses for just a moment, which gives Moose the chance to run across the ring and kick the door open into Spin’s face. Spin falls to the floor, blood running from a gash over his eye. Moose leaves the ring and grabs Spin and throws him face first into the outside of the cage. Moose spins Spin around and pummels him with rights right to the cut. Spin shoves Moose off and reaches under the ring and grabs a wooden two by four wrapped in barbed wire, as Moose charges in again, Spin turns and slams the board upside Moose’s head, leaving the barbs tangled in Moose’s hair and blood running down the side of Moose’s face and neck. Spin grabs Moose and shoves him back into the ring, barbed wire and board still hanging from his head. Spin follows Moose and grabs him and sends him into the cage face first. Moose hits the mat, a bloody mess and pulls the barbed wire board from his head. Hansen charges in and tries a big boot, but Jack slams Spin between the legs with the barbed wire board. Spin doubles over in pain and Jack goes on the offensive, tearing the board from between Spin’s legs, leaving some nice gashes, and tearing off some barbed wire and wrapping it around Spin’s throat. Spin blocks it somewhat with his hands, but it still digs into his neck sickeningly. Spin fights to his feet, and falls backward out the door. Both men tumble to the floor. The referee realizes this one is teetering on the brink of being out of control when Spin and Moose both grab bottles and slam them into each others heads. The referee calls for the bell and waives this one off. WINNER – No Contest in 18:02
JOHNNY ADRENALINE vs. CONCRETE TG – N-Sanity Title Match
Both men got through their introductions and we are ready to start this one. The bell rings and they meet in the center of the ring. Slow circle to start, and Crete proposes a test of strength. Adrenaline seems game, and they engage in the Greco-Roman knucklelock of doom, no sooner is that done when Adrenaline gets in a stiff kick to the mid section. Crete drops to one knee, then immediately springs to his feet and monkey flips Adrenaline across the ring. Adrenaline is up quickly and Crete catches him with a snap hurracarana that sends Johnny to the other side of the ring. Adrenaline pulls himself to his feet using the ropes, and Crete charges in and tries a monkey flip out of the corner, but Adrenaline lands on his feet. Quite proud of his ability, Adrenaline gloats about it, and catches a Crete drop kick to the back of the skull. Johnny falls out of the ring to the floor. Concrete comes to the ropes and is about to leave when the referee pushes him aside. Johnny uses this distraction to leap to the apron and guillotine Crete on the top rope. Crete falls to the inside of the ring and Johnny pounces. Johnny rakes his boot laces across Crete’s eyes blinding him temporarily. Johnny pulls Crete up and sets him on the top rope, but before he can climb up Crete grabs his head and tires a tornado DDT, but Johnny reverses it into a spine buster. Adrenaline gets a two count, but Crete is out just in time. Both men get to their feet, Crete tries a kick, Adrenaline catches it, ENZUGURI to Adrenaline! Crete climbs to the top rope and tries a double rotation SSP, but Adrenaline moves out of the way and Crete crashes and burns! Johnny pulls Crete to his feet and hits the ADRENALINE RUSH! Floats over, one, two three. WINNER in 20:01 – Johnny Adrenaline
THE GOP vs. COURTNEY SHAW & MASTER GATOR – PHWF World Tag Team Title Match
The GOP meet Shaw and Gator in the center of the ring and offer their hands, but Gator and Courtney aren’t buying it, good thing too, the camera pans around and we see that both members of the GOP were holding metal Reagan statuettes. The referee sees this and makes them drop them outside the ring and calls for the bell. As soon as it rings, Courtney and Gator attack, Court hits a drop kick to the back of Tex head sending him over the top rope to the floor. Courtney follows him out and leaves Gator and Eco. Gator pulls Eco to the center of the ring and hits a series of kicks to the ribs and knees, then goes for the finishing burning hammer, but Eco ducks, catches him and hits a fall away choke slam. Eco climbs to the top rope and waits perched on the top. On the outside, Tex is running around the ring trying to avoid Courtney who has a Reagan statuette. As Courtney rounds the corner she runs right into Bill O’Reilley! His bombastic conservative rhetoric knocks Courtney to the ground and he stands over her laughing. Tex slides into the ring and holds a dazed Gator in a full nelson while Eco leaps with a double axe-handle. Predictably Gator moves and Eco slams Tex in the face. Gator grabs Eco and throws him over the top rope and pulls Tex to his feet and hits the CRUNCH! On the outside, Courtney has had enough, she grabs the Reagan statuette and bludgeons Bill O’Reilly, drawing a huge pop from the crowd, leaving him a bloody mess on the floor. While Courtney is killing Bill O’Reilly, she doesn’t see Eco slip back into the ring with a chair and SLAM it across Gator’s back, in full view of the referee. The ref immediately calls for the bell. WINNERS in 22:22 by disqualification – Courtney Shaw & Master Gator
CHRIS ALT vs. LD WILLIAMS – PHWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Both men make their entrances and meet in the center of the ring to get the referee’s instructions. Williams does not even blink, he just glares at Alt. Alt meets Williams stare and slowly takes off his title and holds it in the air, popping the crowd nicely. Alt hands the title to the referee and he signals for the bell. Collar and elbow tie up, Williams pushes Alt back to the corner, the referee calls for a clean break, Williams appears to give it, then unleashes an open hand chop to Alt’s chest. More annoyance than pain, but it gets Alt to charge out of the corner, rather recklessly, which gives Williams the opening he needs to land a straight punch to the jaw that sends Alt to the mat. Williams pounces and locks on an arm bar, grinding his knee into the side of Alt’s head. Alt quickly works his way to his feet and frees himself with a knee to the mid section, Alt hits the ropes and connects with a running knee lift to Williams jaw. LDW rolls to the apron, Alt grabs him and pulls him to his feet, but Williams goes to the eyes, then runs Alt down the ropes and slams his head on the turnbuckle, as Alt staggers backward, Williams takes him down with a clothesline. LD climbs back into the ring, covers and gets a two count. Williams pulls Alt to a sitting position and repeatedly drives his knee into the back of Alt’s neck, then tries to twist Alt’s head off his shoulders. Spurred on by the crowd, Alt fights to his feet and elbows Williams in the gut, then whips him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and Williams plants Alt with a DDT. Williams covers and hooks the leg, but Alt manages to roll his shoulder at two. The action continues on for another thirty minutes, both men are exhausted and down on the mat. Williams gets to his feet first and plants Alt on the mat then heads to the top rope. Before he can do anything, Alt gets to his feet and catches him on the ropes. Both men slug it out on the top, Williams trying to knock Alt off, Alt trying for a superplex. Finally both men start trading haymakers, Williams starts to fall backward, and reaches out and grabs Alt and both men tumble off the top rope and crash through the Philippino Announce Table! Neither man is moving and the referee starts the count. The fans are expecting someone to get to their feet, and it sort of appears that the referee is as well, but he makes it to ten, then looks around nervously and calls for the bell. Officials come out from the back and dig through the wreckage and check on both men. WINNER – Double Count out in 35:32
Be sure to join us on May 30th for PHWF 8: South of the Border Slaughter, live from Zihuatanejo, Mexico
:::Large-Breasted Redhead Interviewer is standing backstage with a VERY pissed off Artist Formally Known As Ryan Insert and General Manager Pun:::
Large-Breasted Redhead: I'm here with our esteemed GM Pun, and The Art--
Ryan Insert: Stop. First thing's first: there is no way this "Artist Formally Known As" crap is happening. Pun, I've asked you here for a very specific reason: to show you this.
[hands Pun a stack of papers, Pun leafs through them.]
Pun: Wait a minute, you mean you had this written up...
Insert: About a day before the match started.
Pun: So wait, you've copyrighted your entire persona and moveset? That means legally you can't be forced to--
Insert: That's right. It means I'm not changing a God. Damn. Thing.
Pun: Brilliant. I'll have to look over this some more, but everything seems to be in order...
[Pun walks way to his office]
LBR: Wow! Everyone thought Ryan Insert was no more... what made you decide to take out this little policy to insure you'd be able to keep your gimmick?
Insert: Because I knew with my partner MIA, Jack and Tab would pull together to screw me over. I'm not stupid, I knew I'd have to cover my bases... and it's a good thing I did.
LBR: Speaking of your partner... everyone is dying to know: Where is FF Capslock?
Insert: Honestly, I have no clue-- I haven't talked to him in quite a while. But I'm totally confident that he's doing fine, and the day he makes his return, we'll have a lot to take care of.
LBR: Where does this leave you?
Insert: My feud with Tab is not over. It'll never be over. And I still want my shot at the N-Sanity belt. But right now, I have a new target in my sights. It doesn't matter if Capslock is here or not-- a lot of people here thought I could only succeed if he was at the helm... that couldn't be further from the truth. The fact remains that I'm eager for my partner to come back... but until he does, I'm gonna kick some ass on my own.
[Insert looks at his dressing room door and breaks off the "Artist Formally Known As" portion of his name plate... Insert and LBR walk into the room together]
LBR: Do you need me to help you warm up before your match tomorrow?
<note, I still think the PHWF has potential, and I hate to see it die. If/when Lock gets back this is his baby and he can scrap the whole thing if he likes and pick up where he left off and there are no hard feelings at all. Let’s see what we can do while he is gone.>
Joey Fashions: Welcome to PHWF six, A New Beginning! I am Joey Fashions and we are coming to you from beautiful downtown Cour d’Alene Idaho! With me as always is Don East Don East: Thank you Joey, I gotta say this may be THE GREATEST PHWF CARD EVER!! OF ALL TIME!!! JF: Calm down killer, joining us tonight is the boss himself, please welcome Pun! Pun: Joey, Don, good to be here. DE: Pun I gotta ask you, what is going on with Capslock? I hear the rumors, the boys in the back are all talking, where is FF Capslock? Pun: Well, I can’t say a whole lot as it is an ongoing investigation, but right now we are treating it like a missing person case JF: Is Moosehead Jack a suspect? Pun: That is out of my hands right now JF: Fair enough. We have a great lineup tonight, we have been off for over a month so I know the boys are as anxious to get to the ring as we are. We start first with an appetizer, SYB takes on local legend Thomas Builds-The-Fire. DE: Thomas Builds-The-Fire is one of the GREATEST local talents I have EVER seen! He is phenomenal!!! JF: Pun is this guy someone you might want to add to the PHWF roster? We remember his legendary match with Mark Vander a few years ago, is this a try out? Pun: Well, you can never say never, we are always looking for talent, let’s see what he can do. JF: and with that, let’s go to the ring
SYB vs. THOMAS BUILDS-THE-FIRE
SYB comes to the ring, and the crowd boos him heartily. He mocks the fans as he comes down and makes fun of Idaho the entire time. Thomas Builds-The-Fire is out next and the place comes unglued. TBTF climbs to the top rope and poses for the fans, and SYB attacks from behind. SYB pulls Thomas off the top rope and lays into him with chops and kicks backing Thomas into the corner. SYB taunts the crowd with an Indian war whoop, this does not sit well with the fans or with Thomas. Thomas explodes out of the corner and BRUTALIZES SYB with chops backing SYB to the center of the ring. Thomas does his Indian war dance around the ring, then levels SYB with a chop to the top of the head. Thomas pulls SYB to his feet and sends him to the ropes and drops him with a Samoan drop, then climbs the ropes and waits for SYB to get to his feet. As SYB gets up, Thomas leaps and nearly decapitates SYB with a clothesline. Thomas covers and gets a two count, SYB somehow gets his foot on the bottom rope. Thomas pulls SYB to his feet, but SYB stops him cold with a thumb to the eye. SYB chokes Thomas on the top rope, then slams him face first into the corner turnbuckle. Thomas falls to one knee in the middle of the ring and SYB kicks him to the mat, then stands proudly over him and once again, taunts the crowd. SYB does the ultra-cocky one foot cover and gets two, but Thomas grabs his foot and sends him to the mat, then pounces on SYB and locks in the Indian Death Lock (what else?) SYB screams in pain and struggles to get to the ropes, but he has no chance. Finally SYB is forced to tap and the crowd goes crazy. WINNER in 5:05 – Thomas Builds-The-Fire
JF: WHAT AN UPSET!!! DE I HAVE NEVER SEEN AN UPSET LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE!! THAT WAS THE GREATEST THING EVER!! OH!!! MY!!! GOD!!!! JF: Hey, that is my line! So Thomas Builds-The-Fire scores the win to send the crowd home happy… Pun: Well I hope they aren’t leaving yet JF: That’s just an expression Pun, no one is leaving, not with the Battle of the Ryan’s up next! DE: NEVER BEFORE IN THE HISTORY OF THE BUSINESS HAVE WE WITNESSED TWO MEN PUT THEIR ENTIRE EXISTENCE ON THE LINE IN A MATCH!!! JF: Well, I think that might be a bit much, the loser just has to change….. DE: EVER!!!!!!!!!! Pun: We need to switch him to decaf. JF: This IS decaf Pun: Oh DE: WE NEED TO GO TO THE RING AND GET THIS EPIC GREATEST FRUITY FRUITY OH SO GODDAMN FRUITY I JUST WANT TO TEAR MY CLOTHES OFF AND ROLL AROUND IN A PILE OF SKITTLES AND FLOWER PETALS, MY GOD ARE THEY GOOD!! GO TO THE RING!! NAME VERSUS NAME OH MY GOD HHHHHRRRRRNNNNNGGGHHH!!! Pun: Did he just….. JF: TO THE RING!!
RYAN TAB vs. RYAN INSERT – Loser changes their name
Insert makes his way to the ring, but stops by the announce table and has a word with GM Pun. Pun is seen shaking his head then throwing his hands up. Hmmm wonder what that is about. Insert sprints the rest of the way to the ring (which is only a few feet) and talks to the announcer. He announces that this will be a no disqualification match. While Tab is introduced, Insert fills the ring with plunder. Tab gets a running start, slides under the bottom rope, grabs a garbage can lid and crowns Insert as he stands up, this one is underway! Tab goes to down hammering Insert with shots with the lid, then tries a whip to the ropes, but Insert reverses it, and throws a chair at Tab as he rebounds off the ropes. Tab goes down in a heap, and comes up bloody. Insert grabs a leather strap and whips the hide off of Tab, then pulls him to his feet, wraps the belt around his neck and throws him over the top rope, but Tab catches himself, skins the cat, and throws Insert over the top rope to the floor. The action builds for nearly twenty dramatic minutes, as both men fight for their lives. Finally the epic ending is set. The two men have stacked two tables on top of one another near the back concourse, and have fought their way to the top. The two men teeter on the edge, Insert tries to snap off a hurracarana sending Tab over the rail to the floor, but Tab holds on and drops Insert! Insert crashes through the first table, but not the second, remember these guys only weigh one fifty soaking wet. So Tab climbs on the apron and hits a FUCKING REMARKABLE 1800 degree SSP sending Insert through the table!!! Crowd erupts into a WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Chant, the referee decides that this is as good a time as any to make the three count, and counts Insert out. WINNER in 22:42 – Ryan Tab
JF: WOW! That was one of the more remarkable things I have ever seen!! Pun: Is he ok? DE: GREATEST <wheeze> THING <coughwheeze> EVER <gaspwheezecough> JF: he is just hyperventilating, he’ll be fine Pun: he is turning purple JF: Violet! You’re turning violet Violet!! Pun: does our medical coverage cover this? JF: We have medical coverage? Pun: Oh yeah, well give him a bag or something DE: UNBELIEVABLE <wheeze> BETTER THAN…<wheeze wheeze>……. JF: That’s ok Donnie, you just get your breath back and we are going to head to the ring for our next match between Spin “Freakin” Hansen and possible criminal suspect Moosehead Jack. You think this will be bloody? Pun: it has potential JF: Let’s go to the ring
SPIN HANSEN vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK
Moose and Spin come out from the back already brawling. The camera catches the referee in the ring throw his hands up already. Not a good sign. Moose rakes Spin’s eyes and drags him over to the guardrail and bounces his head off the railing, then throws him through a wooden board announcing the upcoming Coeur d’Alene Potato Fest. Moose grabs a piece of the splintered wood and jabs Spin in the head, drawing a copious amount of blood. Jack is momentarily distracted by a fan screaming for his head, which allows Spin time to call for a chair from the audience, Spin catches it, turns, and BRAINS Moose. Moose staggers but doesn’t go down, so Spin grabs a piece of the broken board and breaks it over Moose’s head. Spin drags Moose back to the ring and rummages around on the outside, through the plunder left by the feuding Ryans, and pulls out a barbed wire baseball bat. Hansen rakes the bat across Moose head drawing blood, or actually opening up old wounds. Spin pulls Moose to his feet and sends him to the ropes for a spine buster, but Spin lowers his head just a little too soon and Moose plants him with a DDT. Jack slips out of the ring and is rummaging around on the outside for something when a fan in a hoodie jumps over the railing and LEVELS Moose with a clothesline! What the hell? Who is this? He takes the hood off and it’s OUTBACK JACK!! WHAT THE HELL??? Spin leaves the ring and argues with Jack for a moment, so Jack grabs a chair and waffles Spin in the head. Jack looks around at the confused crowd, and sees that security is on their way to the ring, and hops the rail and escapes through the crowd! The referee has no choice but to call this one a no contest! WINNER – No Contest in 11:49
DE: OUTBACK JACK!! OUTBACK JACK!! HE DOESN’T WORK FOR THIS COMPANY…..does he? Pun: No he does not DE: OH MY GOD THAT WAS THE GREATEST RUN IN I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! NOT SINCE THE DAYS OF THE NWO OH MY!!!! OH, OH OH BUY MY KNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!! Pun: Did he just…… JF: yeah Pun: again? JF: Kid’s got stamina. But Pun, what on earth was that all about? Outback Jack is NOT a PHWF employee! We know he is involved in a brutal feud with Moosehead Jack, but that is in the OOWF, what is going on here? Pun: I don’t know Joey JF: You are a man of few words Pun Pun: Indeed DE: Man, I need a cigarette, and a nap. So what’s going on Joey, shouldn’t we discuss the next match coming up. Is it hot in here? Feels kinda humid. Sticky, ya know? JF: That is disgusting. Up next we have a Tag Team Triple Shot, the champions Courtney Shaw and Master Gator defend their titles against the GOP and Kenji and Knife DE: COURTNEY SHAW HAS BOOBIES JOEY!! BOOBIES!!!! JF: That tends to happen to women Don. DE: Think she would let me touch them? JF: No DE:Even if I giver her one of my knives….AT THE SPECIAL DISCOUNT RATE OF ONLY $14.99 FOLKS THAT IS ALMOST CRIMINAL!!! I SHOULD BE LOCKED UP FOR A PRICE THAT LOW!! LOOK AT THE STEEL ON THIS ONE!! IT IS AT LEAST 4% PURE STEEL HAND CRAFTED IN TOGA!! YOU CAN NOT GET QUALITY LIKE THIS ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD!!! ANY-WHERE!!!! JF: Why do you pay him? Pun: Discount knives, they make nice gifts. JF: Let’s go to the ring
COURTNEY SHAW & MASTER GATOR vs. THE GOP vs. KENJI & KNIFE – PHWF World Tag Team Title Match
The GOP comes to the ring first and hands out buttons in support of the GOP, since Idaho is a red state they receive a fairly warm welcome. Kenji and Knife are out next, Knife, being a religious zealot is cheered, while Kenji, being a foreigner, is not. Finally, the champs come out. They get a warm welcome. The champs hand the titles to the referee and this one is underway. Kenji and Knife attack Tex and Eco, Kenji grabs Eco and throws him over the top rope to the floor, while Knife chases Tex around the ring, Tex runs for his life, and finally slides under the ropes. The four men gather on the outside forming a convenient pile of bodies, Courtney gets a running start and dives between the ropes, at the same time Gator leaps over the top rope, they crash into the pile and send bodies flying everywhere. Courtney gets to her feet and grabs Tex and slams him to the floor, then spring boards off the bottom rope and drops a leg across his chest. Gator and Kenji pummel Eco while Knife waits for Gator to turn back around, when he does, Gator gets his head kicked off with a super kick. We spend the next 25 minutes with general tag team mayhem, until finally we have Courtney, Gator and Tex in the ring. Courtney and Tex set Tex up for a spike pile driver, but Knife slips in and breaks up the move. While Knife and Gator duke it out, Courtney grabs Tex and is about to eliminate him, when BILL O’REILLY runs into the ring!!! What the hell? O’Reilly berates Courtney about being a woman and pretty much everything else, Court has had enough and she hauls off and nails Bill with a forearm to the side of the head. Court turns around and at the same time Knife aims a super kick at Gator’s head, Gator ducks and the kick catches Courtney square in the jaw! Tex seizes the opportunity and rolls Courtney up while Knife pulls Gator to the mat. The referee moves into position and makes the three count, and we have new tag team champions! WINNERS in 33:10 and NEW PHWF World Tag Team Champions – The GOP
DE: THAT HAS TO BE THE FIRST REPUBLICAN RUN IN IN WRESTLING HISTORY!!!! JF: No, I am pretty sure it was not. But Pun, perhaps you can answer this question: why was Bill O’Reilly in Idaho, and why was he interfering in a wrestling match? Can you answer that? Pun: Nope JF: Well you heard it here first, Pun can’t explain it, so it looks like we have NEW PHWF World Tag Team Champions, the GOP. DE: and if you call 1-900-909 PHWF right now, you can get this GOP Title Win Collector’s plate, Joey look at the gold gilding on this plate. This plate captures the exact moment that the GOP scored their history making win. Folks these plates are limited, only 50,000 were minted, so if you call now, we are throwing in a bonus, yes a bonus, we will give you this, one of a kind, Attitude Adjuster knitted remote cozy! Nothing says ATTITUDE like keeping your remote cozy!! JF: Pun, seriously, why do we put up with this? Pun: …….”Yeah put me down for twelve plates, yeah, now I get a free cozy with each plate? Perfect. Yeah I have Attitude too! By credit card, the numbers? I should be in the system, look under Punisher, The, yep that’s me…..” JF: Why do I even try? Does ANYONE care that we have an N-Sanity match next? Anyone? At all? No? Let’s go to the ring.
CONCRETE TG vs. JOHNNY ADRENALINE vs. VIET CONG VIPER vs. CHRIS COLE – PHWF N-Sanity Title Match
Crete finds himself in a bit on an unenviable spot this week, defending the title against three men who really don’t like him. I wonder how that will work out for him? Cole, Viper and Adrenaline all come to the ring, and they stand in the ring and argue over who will be the one to pin Crete. The exchange of words gets a bit heated and things come to blows as Crete is making his way to the ring. Johnny bails out, and Viper and Cole don’t seem to notice. As Crete makes his way to the ring, he sees the fight break out in the ring, and pulls up a chair from a ringside fan and grabs some popcorn and enjoys the fight. What Crete doesn’t see is Johnny Adrenaline make his way around the ring and level Crete with a clothesline, knocking Crete off of the chair to the floor. Adrenaline gets some good shots in on Crete before Viper and Cole notice what is going on outside of the ring. Viper goes to leave the ring, but before he can Cole grabs him from behind and hits a release half nelson suplex that drops Viper right on the back of his head. Cole leaves the ring and nails Crete from behind with a forearm just as he was getting the upper hand on Adrenaline. Johnny scurries away and pulls Viper, who is barely moving out of the ring, and DROPS him on the concrete floor with a DDT. On the other side of the ring, Crete escapes from Cole and leaps to the apron and springs off the bottom rope for a moonsault, but Cole catches Crete and drops him with a HEADLINER on the FLOOR!! OH MY GOD!! Cole rolls Crete back into the ring and is climbing on the apron, the referee checks to see if Crete is still alive, so he doesn’t see Adrenaline BURY a chair into Cole’s ribs, knocking him off the apron, and misses the chair shot that warps Cole’s skull and leaves him lying. Adrenaline rolls into the ring, pulls Crete up, ADRENALINE RUSH! Cover, one, two, three, NEW CHAMPION!!! WINNER in 15:57 and NEW PHWF N-Sanity Champion, Johnny Adrenaline
JF: Johnny Adrenaline wins the N-Sanity Title!! DE: THAT’S THE GREATEST TITLE CHANGE I HAVE EVER S….. JF: Seriously Don, shut the fuck up. That was a great match, but it was nowhere NEAR the greatest title match ever. DE: Can he say fuck on tv? Pun: He just did DE: Fine, fine, fine, maybe it wasn’t the greatest title change ever, but you don’t have to yell. JF: Fine, no more yelling, from EITHER of us, deal? DE: DEAL! Oh uh, deal! JF: It’s time for our main event, Chris Alt defends his PHWF World Title against Attitude Adjuster, LD Williams and MGB, three men that are his sworn enemies DE: Yeah they don’t like him very much Joey JF: I think I just said that DE: Yes you did JF: Let’s just go to the ring
CHRIS ALT vs. LD WILLIAMS vs. MGB vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER – PHWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Much like the Concrete TG match, the heels all come to the ring first and congregate in the center of the ring, although this time they seem to be rationally discussing strategy. Chris Alt comes out and makes his way about halfway down to the ring and sees his conspirators and stops and slowly takes off his title belt and holds it high in the air, then sprints to the ring, slides under the bottom rope and attacks all three men with rights and lefts. Alt clotheslines MGB over the top rope to the floor, Attitude Adjuster charges at Alt, but Alt sidesteps and sends AA over the top rope to the floor. Alt turns to face LD Williams, but before he can do anything, Williams gets in a kick to the midsection and drops Alt with a DDT! Williams rolls him over and covers, but both MGB and AA grabs Williams legs and pull him out of the ring. The three stand there and argue, which gives Alt time to get to his feet, hit the ropes and connect with a baseball slide that sends Williams and MGB crashing heads. With them down, Alt grabs AA by the hair and pulls him on the apron and tries to suplex him into the ring, but AA blocks it, grabs him by the head and drops off the apron, guillotining him on the top rope. Alt falls back into the ring, AA slides in and covers, but MGB gets in and breaks up the pin attempt with an elbow to the back of the head. MGB throws AA out of the ring, pulls Alt up and nearly decapitates him with a clothesline. MGB covers, but both AA and Williams break it up. The action continues like this for another twenty minutes, Alt takes a helluva beating, but no one can get a three count because someone is always breaking it up. Finally, Alt is out in the middle of the ring, MGB is climbing the ropes for a flying elbow when LD Williams catches him on the top rope and is trying a suplex off the top. AA catches them both and shoves them over the top rope to the floor. MGB hits hard, Williams lands on his feet. LDW jumps back onto the apron and grabs AA and slams his heat into the ring post. AA staggers back into the ring, but before Williams can capitalize, MGB grabs him from the outside and they brawl. Alt, seizes his opportunity and grabs a dazed AA and rolls him up from behind for the three count! WINNER in 27:51 – and STILL PHWF World Heavyweight Champion – Chris Alt
After the match, LD Williams frees himself from MGB and rolls back into the ring and grabs Alt, spins him around and plants him with a DDT. LD Williams stands over Alt, holding the PHWF Title, then drops it on his chest and heads to the back
JF: Alt retains his title, but what price did he have to pay? LD Williams seems to have made a statement tonight, he wants that title! DE: When those two meet it is going to be THE GRE….. JF: Don…. DE: Ummmm, oh yeah, it will be an outstanding display of athletic competition, it could quite possibly develop into one of the classic matches of all time. JF: Much better. Pun do you have anything to add? Pun: Go Cubs? JF: That’s why they pay him the big bucks folks! It looks like we are out of time! For Don East and Pun I am Joey Fashions see you on May 15th, LIVE from Delamar Ghost Town, Nevada!