I didn't really plan out the specifics of the matches, but the Pixies are good enough that they'd be able to play with or without the advantage. They'd probably be the babyfaces as I think Charlotte, Tessa, and Sasha all play better as heels though you can say the same about Madison, Kiera, and Zelina.
Nathan voted Hodgey solely for the fact that at the last WWE event we went to (I’m guessing January 2019), Nathan spent a lot of time yelling back and forth with The Revival. He hates them with a passion.
Marko was on the original team when I was going to do Stunt, Hornswoggle, Max Mini, and 2 others but I didn't want to go that comedic. I actually think there'd be a way for that match to still be good while not exactly fair.
FAAFO made me laugh while scrolling (and I considered drafting most of that team). I like the intergender integration on the whole across the cards though there's a little bit of "trust the booking" when we're working with Alexa rather than Ripley or Chyna, but I'm willing to make the logical leap; SG has a sneaky good women's match alongside his throwbacks.
Polls are up. I just ran the draft order alphabetically and split it up for the qualifying round. Select your two favorite cards from each group to advance to a standard bracket tournament. Voting for yourself is fine.
Also, a few of us didn't include the style of cage...
Io Shirai and Cesaro are doing lockup training in the cage when The Rock comes up to them.
Rock: Big Dick Tony!
Cesaro: (turns around) Usually when I hear that, there’s a big pale Irishman standing behind me.
Rock: Well, you have the luck of the Irish today, Tony, because today is the day that The Rock selects YOU! For The Rock’s WarGames team.
Cesaro: Rock, that’s very nice. But I already told Kurt and Bryan, I kind of made a commitment to Io.
Rock: Let the Rock get this straight. You came to The Rock’s Show, SmackDown!, just to beat up women?
Ronda: What, you think I can’t handle him?
Ronda and Shayna come back into view.
Rock: Listen here, Widdle Wonda Weewee.
Ronda: You already gave me a nickname?
Rock: The Rock gives everyone nicknames when they turn their back on The Rock. And now you’re here, trying to sabotage The Rock’s team, all because you want to face Big Dick Tony!
Daniel Bryan (from audience): Yeah! Dicks in faces! Smackdown’s the—
Rock: SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
Io: Everyone. This is big misunderstanding. Cesaro is not on my team.
Shayna: He’s not? That sucks.
Io: I hired Cesaro to train my team. But Cesaro, if you like, you are welcome to wrestle for them as well.
Kurt Angle shows up on the ramp with Shelton Benjamin.
Angle: That’s perfect, Tivo.
Io: It’s Io.
Angle: Like I said, Eeyore’s got the right idea. Let’s compete for Cesaro. Rock, you have your second in Hunter; Bryan has his second in Sami; I have my second in Shelton. We all want Cesaro for our third. Let’s wrestle for it.
Rock: Oh, you want a piece of The Rock?
Angle: Darn right I do!
Rock: You want to go one on one with the Great One?
Angle: Well, one on one on one. But yes!
Rock: You want to get a taste of The Rock’s strudel?
Angle: I would love to come taste—
Bryan: Wait a second, Kurt. If my memory serves me right, that’s one of his homophobic trick questions.
Rock: Will you two just get in the ring?
Shayna takes off her shirt to reveal a referee shirt.
Rock: And why are you the referee?
Shayna: Did anyone else come prepared with a shirt?
Cesaro: She's got a point.
It’s thirty minutes into the three way match, with the cage lifted, and Shelton, Sami, Cesaro, Triple H, Ronda, and Io watching from ringside.
Triple H: This is really going for a long time.
Shelton: Longer than your promos.
Triple H: At least I *can* talk.
Cesaro: I’m glad they didn’t stick me up there the whole time like Judy Bagwell.
Rock throws Kurt over the ropes, Kurt hands on, Bryan dropkicks him off the apron! Bryan gets up, SPINEBUSTER from The Rock! Rock looks like he might be thinking People’s Elbow, but Bryan is stumbling back up too fast—Rock changes position to his stalking-stance, looking for the Rock Bottom, but Bryan is getting up a little slow—Kurt slides in from outside the ring, hooks Rock behind, ANGLE SLAM! Rock goes splat as Kurt gets up, pulls down the straps, and turns around—INTO A RUNNING KNEE! Daniel Bryan into the cover: 1, 2, Kurt just misses the three!
Winner in 32:06 … Daniel Bryan!
Daniel Bryan gets up and celebrates in the ring with Sami (and Shayna for no reason) as Kurt and Triple H roll out of the ring. Cesaro gets into the ring and shakes hands, Yes fingers in the sky, until Kurt grabs a microphone.
Kurt: Stop it! Stop saying yes!
Sami: So yes?
Cesaro: Yes no?
Kurt: No yes!
Shelton: (grabbing the microphone) What Kurt means to say, is that you may have won the battle, but you will not win the War. We’re challenging YOU for WarGames!
Daniel: Let’s do it!
Triple H: (on the ramp) Hey, great promo, Shelton, who wrote it for you, your mama?
Shelton: Will you stop?
Triple H: No, Shelton, I won’t, because Rocky and I, we don’t just stop when Plan A doesn’t work out. Because with us … there’s always a Plan B.
Daniel: Shoot, I know that one!
Cesaro: You want to turn around first?
Daniel: Why don’t you turn around first—
Sami Zayn hits Daniel Bryan in the back with a chair! Cesaro, being genre-savvy, grabs the chair Sami is holding, but gets bashed in the back by Nigel McGuinness! Both slide out of the ring and walk up to Triple H.
Zayn: Ohhhh, you’re so surprised! Forgive me, forgive me, if I think you’re a little too surprised. I understand you wanted me and Nigel to join your cute little Ring of Honor supergroup. The last time I checked, Bryan Danielson was never pushing for El Generico to get the big Ring of Honor title shot back when he was Ring of Honor World Champion. But I remember Nigel doing that. And more to the point, I remember Hunter doing that. And Nigel and I both remember what we got paid in Ring of Honor versus what we got paid in NXT. So excuse me if I’m not interested in playing third fiddle to Bryan Danielson on your little “love of the game memory lane” team.
Triple H: You heard him, Bryan! They’re done with you. Oh, are you sad? You think he made the wrong decision? Then try and stop us at WarGames!
Daniel: (getting up) Wait, why am I facing you at WarGames?
Rock: Let The Rock take this. Daniel, I think you might have gotten your brains scrambled. We just paid off your best friend to sneak attack you with a chair. Obviously, we’re facing you at WarGames.
Cesaro: But Shelton asked first.
Shelton: I did.
Sami: I just betrayed you!
Daniel: Yeah, so what? You get to cut in line because you’re rude? That would create terrible incentives!
Triple H: That's how wrestling works, Daniel!
Cesaro: Sorry, Hunter. We’re facing Team Angle.
The Rock: Okay, this is ridiculous. The Rock loses his first partner, the Rock has to team with this jabroni—
Triple H: Hey!
The Rock: The Rock loses his second partner without even getting pinned, and now The Rock doesn’t even have a match? No one in the whole world wants to face The Great One?
MVP: Did you just say the whole world?
MVP and Cedric Alexander step out from the shadows.
MVP: Believe it or not, Rock, there is someone interested in challenging you from the other side of the world. See, in America, you’re the People’s Champion, you’re The Great One. But where I used to wrestle, over in Japan, there is only one Great. And his name … is Muta. And Rock, on behalf of Mr. Muta, on behalf of the Tokyo Hurt Business, I am here to let you know that at WarGames, Mr. Muta intends … to just bring it.
The Rock’s squad starts to jawjack with MVP and Alexander, as Angle and Shelton help Bryan and Cesaro up, arguing with them too as they leave the ring. Io and Ronda join Shayna in the ring.
Ronda: So Io, I still have one question. Who’s your first team member if it’s not Cesaro?
Io: Ronda, Ronda, Ronda. Do you not see? The theme of the night … is betrayal.
Shayna Baszler grabs Ronda with the rear naked choke! Ronda is fighting but Shayna forces her down to the ground … and Io leaps with a CURBSTOMP to the face of Ronda! Shayna lets Ronda go and grabs a microphone.
Baszler: Ronda, I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not. You really thought you could come back to my house and just have me play second fiddle to Team Ronda? In case you forgot, Io and I invented the Woman’s WarGames match. And we have the whole band back together … the two of us, Bianca, Kay Lee, right down to the woman that advocated for it all behind the scenes, Sara Del Rey.
Baszler: But don’t think of this as a betrayal, think of it as a challenge. You want to take us on? Go call up AEW. Call up Impact. Sned us the best they have.
Io: But don’t send us anyone … that you want back.
Shayna and Io walk off as Ronda gets back to her feet, holding her jaw. She opens her phone.