Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Daniel Briggs Denzel Washington as Barney Collier Michael B Jordan as Grant Collier Jason Statham as Willy Armitage Karen Gillan as Cinnamon Carter Andy Serkis as The Great Paris Jeffrey Donovan as Dr. Doug Roberts Gwenyth Paltrow as Dana Lamber With Tom Cruise as the voice of IMF Control
And special guest starts Tom Hiddleston as Rollin Hand Eva Green as Lisa Casey Brent Spiner as Paul Shephard Benicio Del Toro as El Preidente Beyron Rurich Marion Cotillard as Elena Maria Del Barra Daniel Dae Kim as IMF agent Roger Lee
The Dukes of Hazzard
Willie Nelson as Uncle Jesse Ron White as Jefferson Davis Hogg Nathan Fillion as Sherifff Roscoe P. Coltrane Jared Paledecki as Luke Duke Chord Overstreet as Bo Duke Nina Dobrev as Daisy Duke
with Jason Segal as Deputy Enos Strait Matt Jones as Deputy Cletus Hogg Delta Burke as Lulu Coltrane Hogg Michael Pena as Cooter Davenport. Jimmy Wlcheck as Coy Duke Daniel Lissing as Vance Duke and Kenny Rogers as the Balladeer
The remaining stars, and three guests to explain three or four episode plots.
Patricia Heaton as Judge Elizabeth Donnelly
Judge Donnelly is not the most well-remembered character from SVU, but she is among the few truly fleshed-out characters on the bench, having both a strident moral compass and a deep sense of mercy—something not always present in the hard-nosed prosecutors. Whether showing vulnerability after an assassination attempt or disciplining a corner-cuttting DA, I think “America’s Mom” Patricia Heaton—showing a tremendous dramatic range for a comedic actress, between Everybody Loves Raymond and The Middle—would be well suited as the exemplar of justice and mercy.
John McCain as District Attorney Arthur Branch
Is this a bit of stunt casting to take advantage of the rule Sporty set out and no one used? Absolutely. But casting Fred Thompson in the original Law & Order—before his term as Senator was even complete—was itself the ultimate stunt casting. Thompson was a serviceable actor, but he was there to lend the ultimate gravitas; a former high-profile Senator quietly lending a seriousness and a realism. John McCain not only matches Thompson’s articulate, calm delivery; whatever you think of his politics, he has a skill for delivering life lessons with a quiet nobility—perfect for a guest District Attorney.
And these three guest stars will give you a flavor of my episode style:
Christian Bale as First Deputy Mayor Andrew Gibson
This is a new character, but it’s drawn from the guest character Alex Munoz parodying Anthony Weiner’s struggles. While Munoz was more of a gag (“Enrique Trouble” rather than “Carlos Danger”), Gibson is slicker, brasher, a tells-it-like-it-is candidate for Mayor—and just may have abused multiple young girls at the Boys and Girls Club where he volunteers. Where Gibson adds elements of Bill Clinton and Donald Trump is that rather than pushing for the charges to quietly go away, he brings his case right to the public, laughing about his opponents who manipulate children to cry rape—and the public seems disturbingly willing to dismiss the victims, enraging Olivia Benson. I see this as a two-episode show, where one of the three victims is exposed as a fabrication but Benson continues to push the case against all pressure—and gets a measure of justice for the true victims (an election loss and probation, but bittersweet as Gibson escapes bars).
Gina Rodriguez as Lucia Torres, convict & witness
Through aggressive letter writing over a matter of years, ignored until one accidentally gets sent to Medical Examiner Melinda Warner, Lucia Torres (imprisoned for armed robbery) is brought in to the SVU as a whistleblower for permissive sexual assault by prison guards against inmates at a nearby women’s penitentiary. The guards obviously stonewall, with great pressure against collecting evidence. Further, it comes to light that Lucia herself had a teenage conviction for violent sexual assault against another woman, leading the guards to claim she’s covering tracks for her own prison gang. Through a bit of work right out of the great episode “Undercover,” DNA evidence is uncovered that is linked to one of the guards, leading to that guard turning state’s witness and turning over withheld video evidence. Jurisdiction over the massive prosecution is transferred to the FBI through Sarah Huang, who has been counseling Dr. Warner given her own experience with her brother’s assault in prison.
John Goodman as Fr. Brian Walsh, suspect
Goodman is one of our best contemporary actors when it comes to range (second maybe only to Gary Oldman, who I would have drafted if I had one more pick), but I’m appealing most here to his role in 10 Cloverfield Lane—as the abusive captor who may or may not be lying about an alien invasion rendering earth uninhabitable. Spoiler: He may be lying about a lot, but not the invasion. I cross this concept with the movie Doubt, where the harsh, conservative nun turns out to be the hero rather than the soft liberal priest who is—likely—the abuser. Here, Fr. Walsh is suspected of the abuse of a young alter server, with the victim too terrified to explain what happened beyond the statement that “Fr. Walsh will kill me and I’ll go to Hell” and the other young boys unwilling to speak. In the end, some investigation turns up that Fr. Walsh is only guilty of harsh physical chastisement that put the boys in great fear of reporting the other, gentler cooperating priest who was truly guilty. In the end, the gentler priest has been viciously assaulted by the time they go to apprehend him, as Fr. Walsh found out the truth and beat him within an inch of his life on behalf of his beloved—if harshly treated—children.
Nicholas Brendon as Chuck Bartowski Keri Russell as Sarah Walker Sam Rockwell as Morgan Grimes Aziz Ansari as Lester Patel Chris Pratt as Jeff Barnes Jennifer Garner as Ellie Bartowski Kyle Chandler as John Casey Bradley Cooper as Devon "Captain Awesome" Woodcomb Chi McBride as Big Mike Margo Martindale as General Diane Beckman Anna Kendrick as Anna Wu Keith David as CIA Director Graham Scott Foley as Bryce Larkin Kurt Russell as Steven Bartowski Alyson Hannigan as Jill Roberts
Hayden Panettiere as Buffy Summers Felicia Day as Willow Rosenberg Zach Braff as Xander Harris David Tennant as Rupert Giles Jared Leto as Angel Michael Pitt as Spike Deborah Ann Woll as Cordelia Chase Donald Glover as Daniel "Oz" Osbourne Maggie Q as Faith Ellen Page as Tara Maclay Jaime Lee Curtis as Joyce Summers Mila Jovovich as Anya Jenkins Chloe Grace Moretz as Dawn Summers Rose McGowan as Drusilla Martin Starr as Jonathan Levinson Liam Hemsworth as Riley Finn