[Road Warrior Shark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (Show 784)
Hassi Messaoud, Algeria
January 29, 2017

OOWF World Title Match
Beverly Cambridge (C) vs. Zed

World Tag Team Title Match
The Darling Twins (C) vs. The Circle

Intercontinental Title 30 Minute Iron Man Match
Chloe Neal (C) vs. Mac Flasher

Onslaught Title No Time Limit Match
Mari Ariana (C) vs. Kylie Mignolio

Fans Bring The Weapons Match
Ecosystem vs. Dre Gaines

Submission Match
Matt Folz vs. Nick Fleming

Street Fight
Beer Money vs. Saints of Sinners

Onslaught Rules Match
Miranda Williams vs. Edra Cox vs. Mai Muyo

Steel Cage Match
Lindsay McAllister vs. Christian Carter

Gods of War vs. Texpress
Jack Bullet vs. Shizuru-mune Mangyuniku
Banned From Everywhere vs. 24 Hour Party People


Card Subject to Algeria watching on Al Jazeera TV.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER being attended to by trainers with ZED and KYLIE MIGNOLIO at his side. MAC jerks his head back, and nearly falls off the examination table when smelling salts are administered by an OOWF TRAINER, causing a small chuckle to come from ZED and KYLIE*

TRAINER: “MacIntosh. Do you recall the events leading to the blow that came from Ms. Neal’s boot?”

MAC: “I recall having Beverly Cambridge pinned. I recall Zed telling me to look out. After that, it gets fuzzy.”

ZED: “Yeah, dude. Mel Creech wasn’t having any of me getting back in there in time. You were getting that boot to the head whether you knew what it was or not.”

MF: “It’s OK. What exactly happened?”

KYLIE (pulling out her phone to bring up the video footage): “This.”

*MAC watches the footage of CHLOE NEAL kicking MAC in the head before BEVERLY CAMBRIDGE put him in the La Bella Lock, causing the match to be stopped*

MF (rubbing the sore spot on his temple): “Well, at least I didn’t tap out. Still have that streak going.”

KM (scrolling through the OOWF app on her phone): “There’s also this.”

*KYLIE shows MAC a post-show reaction promo from CHLOE with the OOWF Intercontinental Champion already claiming victory before her match with MAC at End of Days due to MAC's injuries*

MF: “Let her think that. I get her for 30 minutes. Beating me once ain’t going to cut it on Sunday. I’m leaving Algeria as OOWF Intercontinental Champion, just like you …” *MAC points to KYLIE* “ … will be leaving as OOWF Onslaught Champion, and Zed … *MAC points to ZED* “… is beating Beverly Cambridge for the OOWF World Championship. Tonight wasn’t the best night for any of us, but that all changes on Sunday. Let’s get something to eat, guys.”

*MAC tries to stand and immediately falls to the ground*

T: “Or … Maybe, Zed and Kylie can get a bite to eat and you spend some time in OOWF Medical.”

*the OOWF TRAINER helps MAC to his feet while ZED and KYLIE watch nervously as the scene fades*

[Leo]

Sexy Female Journalist Ichiban is under the OOWF interview banner.

SFJI: Just a few moments ago, "Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet suffered a surprise upset loss to Sizzlechest Manbeef. I have been told that Bullet has already asked for a rematch and will be granted it at End of Days.

Jack Bullet walks in, still in his wrestling gear and covered with sweat from his match. He's seems more riled up and manic than usual.

JB: Sizzlebeef Manchest...

SFJI: That's not his name...

JB: Shut-up, woman...If Beeefchest Mansizzle wants to know what America is all about, I'll show him at End of Days. I'm bringing the DDT Ironman Championship Title belt, even though I still don't know how I got it or how it works, I'm bringing the U.S. Flag, I'm bringing the eagle from my promo videos, I'm coming out to "Living in America" from Rocky IV...

SFJI: Apollo Creed died in that movie coming out to that song.

JB: Shut-up woman...and Shiz I want you to embrace your Japanese heritage. You bring geisha girls, you bring the Japanese flag, you bring a guy making sushi rolls...

SFJI: That's all highly racist to say...

JB: Shut-up woman...You see this is how the game is played. The foreign baddie gets a few upset wins, the American gets belligerent and defiant, we're at the point in your scenario Shiz where the fun is over and the pain begins. You didn't need to make Jack Bullet great again, he was great already.

Jack Bullet smiles and a little light pings off his teeth. He then walks off.

SFJI: How the hell did he just do that in a live interview?

[DrMcAwesome]

*SHIZURU-MUNE MANGYUNIKU stands in front of the OOWF Interview Banner. He is alone, though does not wait for SEXY FEMALE JOURNALIST ICHIBAN to arrive while holding a can of Coors Light*

SHIZURU-MUNE: “Sizzlechest hold beer of great American. Sizzlechest try to make great American greater. Great American make insults to Sizzlechest. … *SHIZURU-MUNE crushes Coors Light can* “…Sizzlechest crush great American at End of Days.”

*SEXY FEMALE JOURNALIST ICHIBAN arrives, though wishes she hadn’t when she sees SHIZURU-MUNE*

SFJI: “Sizzlechest. Have you seen or heard about the insults hurled at you by ‘Silver Eagle’ Jack Bullet?”

SM: “Catch up, Ichiban. Sizzlechest talk about insults. Eagleman make fun of Japan. Eagleman make fun of Sizzlechest …” *SHIZURU-MUNE reaches off camera to grab Japanese flag* “…At End of Days, Sizzlechest make sure this flag fly higher than flag of Great American.”

SFJI: “That was surprisingly coherent. You do seem to have all of the momentum heading into Sunday’s match with Jack Bullet. Are you worried that you poked the hornet’s nest a little too much while trying to ‘make great American greater’?”

SM: “Eagleman need more help than Sizzlechest provide. Sizzlechest will defeat supposed great American again on Sunday. Prove great Japanese man greater than great American.”

SFJI: “Any other thoughts?”

SM: “Sizzlechest wave Japanese flag high for all to see on Sunday. Fans in Algeria respect Sizzlechest more than Eagleman.”

*SHIZURU-MUNE storms off while waving the Japanese flag while the camera catches ‘SILVER EAGLE’ JACK BULLET slightly out of the initial view of the OOWF Interview Banner shot –  smiling and nodding with approval with a light ping off his teeth*

SFJI (muttering to herself): “I gotta find his dentist!”

*the scene fades as SEXY FEMALE JOURNALIST ICHIBAN grabs her smartphone, presumably to research JACK’s dentist back in the United States*

[Chris Eco]

Mai Muyo is sitting alone on a chair.

Mai: A triple countout. I promised a win. A clean, decisive win. And I got a triple countout. I could get frustrated. I could throw my hands up in the air. I could say, how am I going to climb the mountain to become champion, when I can't even move this one inch forward.

But you know . . . it's only when you start losing stuff that you find out that life is just a game of inches.

So is wrestling.

Because in either game, wrestling or football, the margin of error is so small. I mean, one half step too late or too early, you get rolled up. One half second too slow or too fast, you get knocked out. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They are in every match, every minute, every second.

Miranda, you're a former champion with royal blood. Edra, you're a destructive force of nature. But let me tell you who Mai Muyo is.

Mai stands up.

Mai Muyo fights for that inch.

I will tear myself and everyone around me to pieces for that inch. I will CLAW with my fingernails for that inch. Because I know when I add up all those inches, that's going to make the fucking difference between WINNING and LOSING! Between LIVING and DYING!

I'll tell you this . . . in any fight, it is the woman who is willing to die who is going to win that inch. And at the tender age of 24, I KNOW if I am going to have any career anymore, any LIFE anymore, it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch, because that is what LIVING is.

Mai makes an inch gesture.

The six inches in front of your face.

My next inch is this Sunday. See you then, ladies.

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

Off-Screen Voice: CUT!

Zed walks on to the screen.

Zed: Any Given Sunday. Nice.

Mai: That wasn't Scarface?

FADE

[DrMcAwesome]

*as an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA locates MAC FLASHER seated upright and watching television in OOWF Medical, OOWF World Champion BEVERLY CAMBRIDGE pokes her head through the triage curtain to pay MAC a visit with KYLIE MIGNOLIO seated just beside MAC’s bed, MAC is a touch apprehensive at BEVERLY’s presence given Wednesday’s events*

KYLIE: “Mac, settle down. She’s not here to further any attacks. That’s not her game.”

MAC: “Then why is she here?”

BEVERLY: “Mac. Listen. Things got heated, as they do in OOWF. You had just dropped me on my head with whatever that new move was called …”

MF (interrupting): “57 Varieties of Pain, though I’m not married to that name. Just trying to further this Pittsburgh thing with a Heinz-related pun.”

*KAYFABE looks in MAC’s triage and waves a bedpan at MAC in a threatening manner*

BC: “Whatever … If not for Chloe coming in, you’d have pinned me clean as a sheet. I was totally gone. My head had obviously escaped me. I had no idea that you were totally out when instinct took over and I put you in the La Bella Lock. I felt horrible in those 3 seconds before Mel Creech had called for the bell when I felt no resistance from you. That’s not what I’m about. I don’t want wins like that, especially against people like you, Zed and Kylie. My goal every night that I step into a ring is to represent the OOWF World Title with honor, and to represent myself with the same honor. Just like you, Zed, Kylie, Mai Muyo, Mari Ariana, Matt Folz… I could go on for days.”

MF: “I appreciate that. Especially since I may have crossed the line last week with that bit of locker-room talk that you stopped me from completing.”

BC (snickers): “There’s been worse locker-room talk in the world, I’m sure.”

KM: “Yeah, just the other day, I heard Mac call Chloe a …”

MF (interrupting): “Whoa. Whoa. What’s said in the locker room is not for the OOWF fans to hear. That’s like one of our few sanctuaries.”

BC: “Well, get better. I smuggled this in for you. Good luck on Sunday, Chloe is going to fight like hell to keep that Intercontinental Championship.”

*BEVERLY hands MAC a Cherry Coke and exits OOWF Medical*

MF (looking at KYLIE with a puzzled expression): “You don’t think that she was the one …”

KM (interrupting): “… You’d have to ask her. I have no clue.”

*MAC examines the Cherry Coke bottle for anything resembling a note as the scene fades*

[wyattcox]

(Edra and Chloe have changed into classy evening wear and are having a conversation with an animated Beverly. Beverly storms off to the Awakening Suites, while Edra and Chloe, having seen the lineups, steps over to a waiting SFJ 3.14159.)

Edra: Decided to wait for S&M?

SFJ Π Your new...looks have taken a little getting used to.

Chloe: Five percent. Evolution has improved S&M five percent. S&M is bigger, better, and badder than ever. Look at Edra and Chloe. Edra and Chloe personify class, dignity, bringing sexy back. Good for S&M, bad for the slackers.

SFJ Π Beverly appears to be...upset.

Edra: Our World Champion has an extreme conscience. She didn’t notice that my sister had rendered Mac unconscious and locked the Labella Lock. She is too sensitive to inflict unnecessary damage to these low lifes. We have no such compunctions. They know what Edra and Chloe will do. They take that risk every time they step into the ring with S&M. Mac should be happy that his head is still attached to his body.

SFJ Π Chloe, you defend your Intercontinental title in a thirty minute Ironman match.

Chloe: Thirty minutes? Pfft. Edra and Chloe have fought multiple teams for well over an hour. A thirty minute <df> “Ironman” </df> match is nothing. Just as the Flash in the Pan is nothing. He is wounded. He will not survive this thirty minute encounter. Poor Kylie will be sad when Chloe damages her playtoy. There will be no happy ending for this sorry MF. And it doesn’t matter what you called Chloe in the Locker Room. Because Sunday you’ll have to call Chloe something else. Champ.

SFJ Π Edra, you have a rematch this week against Miranda and Mai under Onslaught rules.

Edra: The goodie two shoes won’t be able to use their dirty tactics to double team Edra this week. Onslaught rules. Edra will be able to destroy them with my own two hands. (Pointing off set) Hand me that bag. (The SFJ hands Edra a bag. She pulls out two apple, hands one to the SFJ and the other to her sister.) Examine that apple. Is it sound?

SFJ Π It appears to be very firm and solid.

(Pi hands the apple to Edra. Both women extend their arms, gripping the apple. They squeeze the apples, turning them quickly to mush.)

Chloe: Imagine if that was you, Mac, Miranda, Mai?

Edra: Examine these, would you?

(Edra reaches into the bag and pulls out a couple of coconuts, handing both to the SFJ. )

SFJ Π Nice pair. The Coconuts, I mean.

Chloe: They are a little smallish.

(Chloe takes both coconuts and, letting out a soft growl, crushes them both.)

Edra: This is why I have a difficult time finding you a date.

Chloe: Imagine if that was you, ladies. Not a pleasant thought.

Edra: Even less pleasant for Mac. Instant gelding. Ladies, all your heroes are dead. And no one can save you from Edra.

Chloe: Think of it, Mac. You’ll be out of gas in ten minutes. Chloe can go all night long if she has to. And that’s a road less traveled.

Edra: We’re done here. Until Sunday, Pi....

(The sisters walk away as the scene fades)

[DrMcAwesome]

*an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds MAC FLASHER out of OOWF Medical and standing next to the OOWF Interview Banner with SEXY FEMALE JOURNALIST 37 beside him. MAC has a television and a Nintendo Entertainment System playing “Super Mario Bros. 3” in prominent display*

SFJ37: “Mac, it seems that you’ve been released from OOWF Medical, but what is with the video games just days before your 30-minute Ironman Match with Chloe Neal for the OOWF Intercontinental Championship at End of Days.”

MAC: “Well, 37 … It’s quite simple. Chloe Neal and Edra Cox like to use props to express themselves. I can, too.”

SFJ37: “I’m following, but I don’t.”

MF: “What you have before you is a Nintendo Entertainment System, one of the finest pieces of gaming machinery ever created. With it, there’s a copy of “Super Mario Bros. 3”, regarded as one of the masterpieces of the 8-bit era. There’s also a 50-inch Vizio television, but I got that for my birthday last year. It’s a nice television, but not nearly the victory that the NES, or ‘Super Mario Bros. 3’ are regarded as. Now, if you look at the NES console itself, you see two buttons on the lower left. The first one is the power button, but since I’m not facing Edra, power is irrelevant." *KAYFABE walks past and high-fives MAC* "The second one, just to the inside of the power button is the reset button.”

SFJ37: “Where are you going with this?”

MF: “Patience. Nevertheless, as you see here, I’ve made it to the eighth kingdom. Mario is about to save Princess Toadstool. But I haven’t saved my progress in a long time …” *MAC hits the reset button* “… And now it’s gone.”

SFJ37: “What did you just do?”

MF: “I used a prop to accentuate my statement, since S&M recently made it en vogue. The reset button has been used to start fights and end fights, it’s all in the perspective of the moment. On Sunday, it will end a fight and correct a month-long mistake. You see, Chloe. OOWF wrestlers are very quick to speak metaphorically about what it is that they are, or at least what they see themselves as. Texpress refers to itself as ‘the measuring sticks.’ Stank, before he fell to me on an episode of MidWeek Mayhem, told me in an interview that he was 'not a stepping stone' but ‘a goddamn mountain.’ I could go on, but I have a point to prove. Chloe, what you’re about to see happen at End of Days after 30 minutes of what will likely be a hellacious battle is the reset button getting hit and ending your progress. Once that final bell rings, I’ll be holding the OOWF Intercontinental Championship like New Year’s Evil never happened. Unfortunately for you, there’s no battery backup or codes to enter to get you back to where you were. Once that screen goes blank, it’s over. In a flash. Maybe in a Flash Drive, if you will. Chloe, know this … I am the fucking reset button in OOWF. When I strike on Sunday, all that you gained will disappear.”

SFJ37 (rummaging through a stack of NES cartridges on the table, completely disinterested in what MAC is saying): “HOLY FUCK! YOU HAVE DUCK TALES! I need to play this.”

MF: “I knew there was something I liked about you.”

*SEXY FEMALE JOURNALIST 37 begins playing ‘Duck Tales’ while MAC watches and gives pointers as the scene fades*

[wld]

Zed is sitting alone at Ric’s when L.D. Williams approaches.

LDW: Z-man.

Z: Not funny.

LDW: Sorry. I just had a question-

From behind, Stank slams Zed’s head into the table!

LDW: -more of statement, really.

L.D. Drags Zed out of the booth and sets him up for a Canadian Destroyer, but Mac Flasher comes flying into Ric’s and tackles him. Before Mac can follow up his offence, Moosehead Jack pulls him off. Mac and Zed fight back, and manage to Bloody L.D., but the three-on-two advantage - complete with liberal application of Happy Dethbat - proves too much. With both young men down, L.D. tears down an OOWF banner and rubs it in Zed’s face.

LDW: You see this? It came from our blood. Our sacrifice. You think you can take it? You think you deserve it? The success you want lies on the far side of us. The only way to get it is through.

S:<kicking Mac> Reset button, my ass.

Stank drags Mac up off the floor.

S: The world wants to curse the Saints? We’ll give you reason.

Stank lifts Mac for a powerbomb. L.D. and Moose each grab a shoulder and they drive him through a table.

MHJ: The Saints are alive.

Moose pulls out a cigar, bites off the end and spits it at Zed. He leans over and strikes a match on Mac, then lights his cigar.

MHJ: Come get us.

<fade>

[DrMcAwesome]

*an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds MAC FLASHER and ZED in a heap at Ric’s, both battered and bleeding following the recent attack by the SAINTS OF SINNERS. MAC is the first to stand, albeit with zero stability, and helps ZED to his feet as he wipes the blood from his mouth*

MAC: “The first and last mistake they made was that we just stood up. The Saints of Sinners want to be the gatekeepers around here? We’ll just drive a fucking tank through those gates.”

*MAC and ZED hobble off in an undetermined direction as the scene fades*

[Chris Eco]

"Makers"

Ecosystem is sitting in the middle of the ring, in an empty arena, microphone in hand. He tape the microphone a couple times—the speakers are working. He begins to talk.

Eco: For weeks, interviewer after interviewer has pushed me to say something nice about Dre Gaines. So today, I will. Not to an interviewer. Not to an audience. Just to you, Dre Gaines.

Dre Gaines, you are a hard worker. A very hard worker. An impressively hard worker. You really do . . . "never give up." A lot of people have used that as a slogan, far before Cena, far before Churchill, but for you, it’s true.

Ecosystem stands up and begins to slowly pace the ring.

I want to talk about another hard worker today. LeBron James. LeBron James is one of the greatest people to ever lace up a pair of Jordans—and that includes Michael Jordan himself. People call him a monster, a physical freak. I think that demeans him. There are plenty of men with LeBron James’s genetics. His body, his athleticism, his skill . . . that’s all work, real work, hard work, applied to genetics. He has become a very rich man, and he deserves every penny. He has become a global icon, and he deserves every bit of fame he receives.

He is a very hard Worker.

But let me be very clear. LeBron James is only a wealthy man, only a famous man, because someone took the time to take a little peach basket game from a Podunk YMCA, and expand it into a college sport. And then someone else monetized it into a national, now global, phenomenon.

Those people are the Creators. The Makers.

If Walter Brown doesn’t expand basketball into stadiums, if Maurice Podoloff doesn’t pull off the 1949 merger, then LeBron James is just a good looking guy—heck, maybe he even ends up being some sort of professional athlete. But he’s not LeBron James. He’s not an icon.

He’s just . . . a guy.

Ecosystem climbs up to the top turnbuckle and sits for a moment. He then lifts his microphone.

Ecosystem: On March 23, 2016, Paul Ryan apologized for comments he made four years before, running for Vice President of the United States. He apologized for taking about “makers” and “takers.” Makers and takers.

Actually, Dre, give me a moment to pull up the text of this on my phone, because I think it’s worth reading exactly.

Paul Ryan: “There was a time that I would talk about a difference between ‘makers’ and ‘takers’ in our country, referring to people who accepted government benefits. But as I spent more time listening, and really learning the root causes of poverty, I realized something. I realized that I was wrong. ‘Takers’ wasn’t how to refer to a single mom stuck in a poverty trap, trying to take care of her family. Most people don’t want to be dependent. And to label a whole group of Americans that way was wrong. I shouldn’t castigate a large group of Americans to make a point.”

Ecosystem: The interesting thing about this statement is that Ryan was indeed wrong the first time, but his statement makes clear that he doesn’t understand why he was wrong.

Are most people takers? Of course not. Most people want to work. In fact, most people are just that. Workers.

But most people are also dependents. And contrary to what the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives believes, they are not a mere job interview or government program away from dependency. Whether they receive public benefits or work in the private marketplace, they are still dependent on the small, small group of those people with the vision to have created the public program, to have created the private business.

Do you understand what I am getting at here, Dre?

You confuse me so often with a racist, that I am going to read you the words of a real racist. Richard Spencer, the villain of all those Nazi-punching videos going around Facebook, I want to read you what he said in his infamous “Hail Trump” speech.

Richard Spencer: To be white is to be a striver. A crusader. An explorer and a conqueror. We build, we produce, we go upward. And we recognize the central lie of American race relations. We don’t exploit other groups, we don’t gain anything from their presence. They need us, not the other way around. As Europeans, we are uniquely at the center of history. We are, as Hegel recognized, the embodiment of world history itself . . .

Ecosytem: There is a very simple reason this is nonsense. And it’s not actually because people are equal no matter what their color—that’s true too, but it requires more proof, more argument. The very simple reason this is nonsense is because most white people, most people of European descent, are utterly mediocre, utterly unexceptional, utterly irrelevant to the world’s progress.

White people did not invent the printing press.

The Holy Roman Empire did not invent the printing press.

Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press.

Johannes Gutenberg was the Creator. The Maker. Everyone else who made more printing presses, who worked as a printer, who brought them into new towns . . . they were just good Workers.

And that’s fine. It’s fine for a society to have good Workers.

Do you know what’s not fine?

When people start to glorify the Worker. Worship the Worker. Aspire to be like the Worker, instead of the Creators. They love LeBron James, not the men who had the foresight to turn sport into a business. They love Beyoncé, not the people who built a music industry, who created the idea of copyright. They love actors and actresses, people who read lines written by someone else, are directed by someone else, puppets for people with actual vision and dreams—and even, and EVEN if they respect the occasional director, Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, they will NEVER credit the men who created the modern studio. NEVER!

Ecosystem drops the microphone as his hands are shaking. He rubs his face before climbing down and retrieving the microphone, leaning against the ropes.

Ecosystem: I’m sorry, but I’m angry. I’m angry because I can see your stupid face, and see you just not getting it.

Yesterday, I hit you with the walker of an elderly woman. And people gasped. Not because I hit a fellow wrestler. Not because I stole something from a fan. No, they gasped because how dare I, how DARE I, take a walker, something needed to stand, from a poor elderly woman! Why didn’t I show that woman more respect in her weakness?

The answer, Dre, is that I am done respecting weakness, and I am done respecting symbols of weakness. I took that walker from that woman gladly, and I would do it again. Because this love of the common man, the disdain for the elite, this reverence for the weak—not pity, which is fine, which is appropriate, but genuine reverence given to the weak and infirm—it’s all the same. It’s a disease.

On January 29th, at the End of Days, I will do my part to eradicate this disease. I will take weapons from the hands of the common men and women—weapons like scratched frying pans and worn-out golf clubs and dented folding chairs—weapons that symbolize these people’s mediocrity, and I will beat you within an inch of your mediocre life with them. I will run you out of my company, and what is even better, I will replace you with ease. Because you are just another replaceable Worker.

Ecosystem opens his phone again to read.

I will give you one more quote, Dre. One more quote from a hero of mine. Not a real, living hero, but a fictional one. The best kind of heroes are fictional, because they can never disappoint you. This is a quote from a hero of mine.

People aren’t important. Not as a whole. Everyone runs around like they’ve got a big “S” on their chest for “Special.” But the actual gift of genius—of work ethic, of aspiration—is rarer than a white tiger. That’s why you see people throughout history rising above the masses.

Those are the Changers. Those are the Doers.

You are not important. You’re not. I am.

Eco pockets the phone at last.

Ecosystem: You are not important, Dre. Without me, there is no Dre Gaines. Without me, there is no OOWF. Without me, this company, this project that over 100 people have passed through, this thing doesn’t exist.

I am the Maker. I am the Creator. When these people cheer for Dre Gaines, they are cheering for me. But they don’t know that. And I hate that they don’t know that. And I will make you pay for their sins, with the weapons of their hands.

At End of Days, Dre . . . you will meet your Maker.

FADE

[snelson66]

Eco finishes and in the dark can be heard a single person clapping. Into the light walks Nick Fleming. He walks up the steps to the ring and motions to Eco if he can enter. Eco allows it and Fleming steps into the ring. He walks up to Ecosystem and puts out his hand. Eco is hesitant but reaches out and they shake hands like civilized men. The mic picks up their conversation.

NF: "I wanted to thank you for making this company. And allowing me to showcase my skills here."

E: "You're welcome. You've been impressive. And you've been screwed a number of times. I will mention this to the Board."

NF: "I appreciate that but it's not necessary. I wonder if I might trouble you for the mic and a moment to address one of your employees."

E: "With such courtesy how can I refuse?"

Juni hands Fleming the mic and Nick turns towards the camera.

NF: "Matthew Folz. Wednesday night we face each other in a submission match. I do not doubt that you have a wealth of talent. But you haven't faced Nick Fleming. You are put on notice, Mr. Folz, that I am tired of this comapny treating it's newest star like a jobber. So apprently I need to show the booker that I'm not just anybody off the street. And that booking me to fail after dominating matches is a shitty way to keep your talent happy."

Kayfabe starts climbing in the ring, but a look from Ecosystem keeps her out.

NF: "So, Matthew, I'm going to do to you what Matt Ryan did to the Packers defense. Destroy it."

Fleming hands Eco the mic back and thanks him, shaking his hand again. Fleming climbs through the ropes and before he jumps to the floor, from the apron the mic picks up Fleming talking to Eco.

NF: "I should mention that taking your argument to it's ultimate outcome, your company doesn't exist without the carny wrestlers and 19th century folk wrestlers, and even back to the Greeks I suppose. You therefore are hardly a Maker. You're just another Worker. But as you said the world can use more Workers."

Fleming jumps down and walks out of the lights as Eco splutters in anger.

[DrMcAwesome]

*an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds MAC FLASHER and KYLIE MIGNOLIO engaged in an argument in the Hallway of Random Encounters*

KYLIE: “And what I’m saying is that after what you’ve been through, your little path of revenge might want to wait a bit.”

MAC: “In the past 24 hours, I got a spiked heel to the temple from Chloe Neal and beaten within an inch of my career ending by the Saints of Sinners. Obviously, the fact that I’m standing here means that I need to return volley.”

KM: “MacIntosh Quadra 900 Flasher! This is a damned suicide mission. You’re one and they’re three. Even if Zed comes with you, that’s still bad odds for you.”

MF: “So, you aren’t coming?”

KM: “Not if the end result is … Oh …”

*L.D. WILLIAMS, MOOSEHEAD JACK and STANK walk behind MAC, as KYLIE sheepishly instructs MAC to turn around. MAC turns around to see the SAINTS of SINNERS and sighs deeply*

MF: “I thought I was supposed to come find you.”

L.D.: “Cut the crap, Flasher. The fact that you still exist is not a mistake on our part, but more backhanded mercy. Take the hint. Limp away as fast as you can.”

MF: “For what? Obviously Zed and I pose a threat to you three in some capacity. Otherwise, Zed eats his meal in peace this afternoon and I’m only worried about the bruising on my temple and not the cuts and other maladies.”

STANK: “A threat? You’re no more of a threat to us than those two fools we wasted at the Nowhere Bar.”

MF: “Funny that you should mention those two.”

MOOSEHEAD JACK: “Let me guess. They’re right behind us. We’ll turn around and they’ll be waiting with fists or a dead squirrel.”

MF: “Turn around and find out, fellas.”

*the SAINTS turn around to find a vacant hallway, they turn back around to find ZED standing next to MAC and KYLIE*

LD: “Well, it seems that Zed hasn’t learned his lesson, either.”

Z: “Actually, guys. I did learn something. You see, when fighting a pack of old dogs trying to protect their yard. It’s best to be a part of the bigger pack.”

LD: “But there’s three of you, and …” *LD points at KYLIE* “… She barely registers as an adult-sized human. Seems to me that you’re still outnumbered.”

Z: “Oh … There’s more. I have this counting thing down.”

*a familiar voice from above yells “DOUUUUUUUGGGGGGHAWWWWWKKKKK!” causing the lights to go out in the Hallway of Random Encounters. In the fracas, the extra-life sound from “Super Mario Bros. 3” is heard before the Pittsburgh Penguins’ goal horn followed by the Carolina Hurricanes’ goal horn all wrapped up with Darrell Waltrip’s signature green-flag call of "Boogity, boogity, boogity, let's go racing boys and girls!” When the lights come back on, all three SAINTS are unconscious in a Radio Flyer wagon attached to DRUNKEY and DRUNKETTE while ZED, MAC, KYLIE, AWESOME BILL FROM DAWSONVILLE and JUSTIN SANE stand tall*

AWESOME BILL: “I reckon that we just revengified them boys for the whoopin’ dey put on all of us.”

Z: “This shit ain’t over, Bill, but it’s going to be a hell of a lot of fun until it is.”

AB: “Outdamnstandener than hell, boys … And Miss Kylie.”

*AWESOME BILL pats both asses on the ass to send DRUNKEY and DRUNKETTE on their way to the SAINTS of SINNERS Locker Room while MAC, ZED, KYLIE and JUSTIN banter about the recent happenings as the scene fades*

[kimmieg1231]

(Kylie trails behind the men, watching them. Turning, Mac notices and drops back)

Mac: I know you said you weren't in..

Kylie: I was in regardless of what I said.

Mac: Than why say it?

Kylie: To try and talk some sense into you.

(Mac reaches for her hand and gives it a quick squeeze before dropping it)

Kylie: (as they walk) We need more.

Zed: More what?

Kylie: People.

Zed: You know, I feel like this whole thing with everyone against the Saints has happened before.

(everyone looks at him, and he just shrugs)

Bill: Dere ain't none more.

Kylie: (looks at Zed)

Zed: No.

Mac: (looks between them)

Justin: (looks at Bill)

Bill: (shrugs)

Kylie: I'm just saying..

Zed: You aren't saying anything at all.

Kylie: But you know what I mean.

Zed: No.

Kylie: Fine.

(Kylie resumes walking and the 4 men watch her)

Bill: Well boys, (chuckling he slaps Mac hard on the back) When here a female say "Fine," Wooee, you bet watch yoself.

(Mac kinda chuckles as they all move to catch up with Kylie)

[wyattcox]

(As the crew rounds a corner, they are confronted by Beverly, Edra, and Chloe.)

Mac the Flasher: Jeez, can’t catch a break.

(Mac, Zed, and Kylie prepare for a fight when Beverly raises a hand.)

Beverly: We aren’t here for a fight.

Edra: Indeed. Edra is not one for backstage brawls.

Chloe: Neither is Chloe. (Facing Mac and winking) That is, unless Chloe can achieve a particular advantage.

Mac the Flasher: What? I understand you, Beverly, but these overgrown overdeveloped....

Chloe: It would serve the overstimulated slacker to consider his words more carefully before Chloe recreates a prior event for him.

Beverly: Easy, sis. Remember what the leader said.

Edra: Better we maintain our calm and retain our dignity than emulate the old men and fall to an ignominious impediment.

Chloe: True. Chloe apologizes for the outburst, Slacker. Chloe will restrain her outbursts until Sunday’s combat in the squared circle.

Beverly: Better?

Zed: <sarcasm> Oh trust me, we are so relieved. </sarcasm>

Beverly: Now, Zed...

Edra: Edra tried to tell you, Beverly. Offering an olive branch to these Slackers is like placing a wager on those Carolina Blowhards to score a goaaaaaalllll.

Chloe: You are just like the old men, wishing to engage in a Penis Brandishing challenge.

Beverly: And while I like you guys, none of you are a Lyndon Johnson. Or Milton Berle.

Kylie: Who?

Edra: Mr Television. Highest TV ratings from 1950 to 1957.

Chloe: Would wager large amounts of money regarding the size of his manhood. Would not drop his trousers until the other bettor laid his junk on the table.

Edra: Junk?

Chloe: He would then open his trouser and as he would say, show just enough to win. Someone compared him to an actor named Long Dong....

Beverly: Too much information, Chloe.

Chloe: Edra said that Agrius was...

Beverly: ENOUGH, CHLOE!

Chloe: Well, we know who is not receiving her Minimum Daily Requirement of....

Edra: Chloe, be nice. That’s rude. It’s not Beverly’s fault that she was Rooster Blocked.

Kylie: What? Beverly, did you....

Edra: It’s not like Beverly was making an effort.

Beverly: SSSTTTOOOOOOPPP!

(Beverly is beet red, and we don’t know if it is from anger or embarrassment.)

Edra: Relax, Beverly. You will rupture an aorta We just wanted to offer our support on behalf of our leader. The old men suffer from delusions of continued relevance.

Chloe: Beverly likes you. Edra likes you. I...well...don’t wish death upon you. We will procure your spine.

(An uncomfortable silence follows)

Zed: Right.

Mac the Flasher: Right.

Beverly: They mean well. We really do.

(The women of the Awakening offer their hands, and one by one handshakes are exchanged. Except for one person, who requests a five dollar bill. Edra and Chloe give Justin each five dollars as the scene fades.)

[DrMcAwesome]

*after KYLIE, MAC FLASHER, ZED, JUSTIN SANE and AWESOME BILL FROM DAWSONVILLE break away from their chance meeting with BEVERLY CAMBRIDGE, CHLOE NEAL and EDRA COX, an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA switches the feed’s perspective with MAC and KYLIE walking a step ahead of AWESOME BILL, ZED and JUSTIN*

MAC: “Please tell me that you didn’t mean those three when you said that we need more people for this whole thing.”

KYLIE: “They’re three more people than we had. I know that you and Chloe have your differences. Just don’t kill each other on Sunday.”

*MAC goes to say something, but thinks better of it as the scene fades*

[Jack Quinn]

<time passes and we see Moose sitting at the bottom of an empty stairwell, sporting his wounds from earlier and a fresh coat of blood. He is holding one end of a chain, but we don't see where the chain goes. Moose sits back and lights a cigar and exhales a cloud of smoke before pulling a flask of whiskey from his pocket and taking a deep drink>

MHJ: 12 years, 3 months and 28 days. That is how long the OOWF has been MY hunting grounds. That's how long it has been LD Williams hunting grounds. Stank came in about five months later, so it's almost 12 years this place is HIS hunting grounds. Do you, Zed, Mac, Lindsay and BFE have ANY idea how many people we have seen come and go? Do you have ANY fucking idea how many people who were "the next big thing" have come through here, come and gone, crushed under the pressure of the OOWF. Do you have any idea how many factions have formed that were going to revolutionize the OOWF? Royalty was going to do it, Awakening is trying to do it, Royalty is gone, Awakening is.......whatever the hell they are, but you know who has stood the test of time better than ANYONE ELSE?

<Stank and LD step into the picture, both with blood on their hands>

MHJ: to borrow a phrase from that worthless piece of shit Vince McMahon, WE are the apex predators around here. And what that means is, we are constant targets. For twelve years we have taken all that punk asses like Zed, Mac, Bev and the rest of Awakening have thrown at us. Billy Dee, this is HIS yard, he EARNED that right by putting UnderDawg out to pasture. This is Stank's yard, he earned that by being the baddest motherfucker to ever lace up a pair of boots. This is MY yard, I fucking earned that by being the most destructive human being the OOWF has ever seen. Bottom line is this, do you really think that is the first time we've been left laying? Do you really consider that a victory. Face it, we've lost battles before

But the Saints ALWAYS win the fucking war.

<We see Moose pull the chain and hear someone grunt, he ties it around the railing and looks back at the camera>

Now, as I see it, y'all got about five minutes or so before Justin here is a former wrestler. You might want to hurry the fuck up.

<Moose, Stank and LD all land a few more shots on Justin whose toes are barely off the ground, he is clawing at the chain around his throat while blood spurts from a wound on his forehead. The Saints walk away and we fade to black>

[L!zz~]

(perhaps to the surprise of all it is Tytan who is first to Justin and cuts him down)

Tytan: (pulls off his shirt and presses the cloth to Justin's wound) And they say I'm fucking crazy. It's an old dance...and one you won't win this time...

(At the sound of running the camera turns to see who is arriving)

[DrMcAwesome]

*the INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds MAC FLASHER and AGRIUS sprinting from different directions to find TYTAN tending to JUSTIN SANE*

MAC (not noticing that TYTAN is helping JUSTIN at first): “God, Tytan. Hasn’t he suffered enough?”

TYTAN: “As you see, I am relieving him of his suffering until medical attention arrives.”

AGRIUS: “You see, Mac. While you are at odds with The Awakening for reasons that even you cannot fully express or understand, we share the same enemy at this juncture. Because we appear to be allied in this fight, it does not mean that you are able to call us friends when new battles arise.”

MF: “I’ll keep this in mind. Is this also something that can be linked to your leader, who we haven’t seen?”

T: “Those who benefit from our leader’s knowledge know what is desired. Those of the chosen who do not know will suffer a fate worse than your friend’s when the time to act is upon us.”

MF: “But for now …”

T: “Don’t add us to your group texts. When we are needed, we will already know.”

MF: “OK. Good talk.”

*MAC steps in to check on JUSTIN, who is still under TYTAN’s care as the scene fades*

[fasteddiek]

(Tytan looks to Agrius and nods. Agrius goes and grabs a bag and the two begin to work on Justin.)

Voice of random onlooker: So the man who is know for almost killling two people is now allowed to patch people up.

(Tytan works with percision of a field medic and Agrius is just as good.)

Tytan: You tend to learn a few things when you spend time out in the field.

(Tytan looks at Agrius.)

Agrius: Yep. They dont know anything about where we were how your knee got fixed up, look this damn good and how we came back with all this good stuff.

VOice: Well maybe you should fill us in then.

Tytan: Not now we got a bleeder

FADE

[wld]

Cut to Miranda Williams talking on her cell phone.

MW: They’re over-reacting Fire. The Make-A-Wish people told me to hang out with Ashley and have fun. That’s what I did...

...Yeah, I told the photographers to take a hike. I wasn’t there for publicity…

...The same as the last sixteen times you asked. They told me to hang out with Ashley and have fun…

...Actually, BASE jumping from the building next door was fun. Ashley would tell you the same thing if you asked her…

…because she was screaming ’let’s do it again!’ Before we even landed?...

...I never said legal, I said fun...

….Her mother did not have a heart attack!...She fainted...a few times…

...Guilty?...um...nope. Not in the least…

...Well, I learned from the best, oh mentor-mine…

Miranda stops, looks at her phone, shrugs, and puts it away. She looks up, and realizes she’s standing in front of an OOWF banner in the interview area.

MW: Well, since I’m here…

Edra, Mai, I owe you an apology. As Edra said, I haven’t been doing my part to promote our matches. Which is totally unfair, because wrestling people like you is the reason I worked so hard to get into this business. Sunday night, we go one more time, and honestly, I’m looking forward to it. Edra, you’re one of the toughest competitors in the OOWF, and your recent growth spurt has only made you more dangerous. And Mai, everyone knows how good you are. The only thing standing between you and the World Title is time.

Thing is, when I’m not doing mundane, boring, unfun things like BASE jumping with sick kids, I only really do one thing. Wrestle. But do it really really well. So Sunday night with Onslaught rules should be….

Miranda trails off as she sees recent events on a monitor

MW:....oh, crap.

Pulling out her phone, she quickly heads back down the hallway.

<fade>

[DrMcAwesome]

*after a lengthy period of chaos finally subsides for a brief moment, KYLIE MIGNOLIO and MAC FLASHER are found in MAC’s hotel room by an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA*

MAC: “He just had to fucking say it.”

KYLIE: “Who? What? You do understand that a lot of people said a lot of things recently. You need to come with a few more tidbits to make this story flow, newspaper boy.”

*KAYFABE drops from the ceiling and whaps KYLIE with a rolled-up newspaper”

KM: “I deserved that.”

MF: “Agrius. About not understanding or being able to express why I am at odds with The Awakening.”

KM: “Well, Chloe sort of proved that she isn’t all vitriol toward you. Maybe you were wrong about them.”

MF: “It’s not just Chloe.”

KM: “Oh no. I know that tone of voice. You’re about to tell a story. Should I make a lunch?”

MF: “I’ll keep it brief.”

KM: “You say that a lot; but a brief story to you usually ends with me asleep, and drooling on your arm or something.”

MF: “OK, so … In the tiny little high school that I went to in Pennsylvania, you know about the bullying and so on. There were times where that was the second-sharpest pain in my world. See, I knew that to be a part of the so-called popular cliques, I’d have no shot, because those were the groups making my life miserable. Football was the most popular sport at my school with ruining my self-esteem being a close second, albeit with a much larger roster than the Rams boasted on most Saturdays.”

KM: “Saturdays? But high school football is played on …”

MF (interrupting): No lights on our field. Home games were on Saturdays. Meanwhile, there was a group of kids in my school, who were very anti-establishment if you listened to them long enough. The kind with the punk-band patches on their backpacks and jackets. The kind of kids with the multi-colored hair. The kids who tried really hard to be everything that the jocks, preps and so-on weren’t while secretly trying the hardest at being most of those things. While I was an L7 square as a teenager, I had these delusions that I could belong with them. I mean, I owned all the Green Day albums from before Dookie. I had gone to like two Warped Tour stops in Pittsburgh. MacIntosh Q. Flasher was punk as fuck.”

KM: “Somehow, I don’t see The Awakening as being the biggest punk fans.”

MF: “Minor Threat … I mean, minor details. The gist of this story sees me, at about 15 years old trying my hardest to fit in with them, not realizing that trying was the one thing that made me an outcast in their eyes. All the while, their lack of popularity in the school was because of something they could easily pinpoint. They didn’t play football. They weren’t in clubs. They didn’t have the right last name. Something was always the reason why they weren’t where they thought they should be. There was always something. But, since I was like a puppy scratching at the door, these kids always had someone to lord their status over. Someone who wanted to be a part of the group in the worst way, despite my penchant to wear Penguins and Steelers hoodies almost every day.”

KM: “So, because those kids rejected you, it’s your mission to end The Awakening?”

MF: “Dig a little deeper. You see, while lamenting their own lots because of whatever reasons they decided to pull from the laundry list of excuses that day, I was a pincushion to them because I was weaker in their eyes. There were many of them, and one of me. While I wanted to be part of that group of many, I was rejected for being what they were afraid that they were viewed as by others, a poser.”

KM: “But you never tried to join The Awakening. Are you sure that your head is OK after all the stuff that went down? You’re making zero sense.”

MF: “Please. Let me finish. The Awakening, in its form when I first joined OOWF, is this group from my school. They’d list reasons to why they were held down all day long. Why they weren’t getting the chances that they feel they deserve. All while trying to prey emotionally on the weaker ones with a numbers advantage to feel better about themselves, because they’ve been chosen by someone or something to bring the whole machine down. It was a group that once held nearly all the titles in OOWF, yet they were still the victims of some grand conspiracy if you listened to the mouthpieces of the group. No matter how good things were, there was always a reason to complain. There was always some sort of plan against them, which united them in the first place. As it sits right now, the two top singles championships in our company are held by members of The Awakening, both having been afforded the same chances that others who held the titles were granted. They got there through their own abilities, not because their leader willed it to be.”

KM: “Even Chloe?”

MF (sighing): “Even Chloe, though her method in winning the OOWF Intercontinental Championship likely wasn’t approved by the same people who granted her that title opportunity.”

KM: “So …”

MF: “So, while I’ve been largely left alone by The Awakening, I see the same behaviors as those kids in school. I see a group of people, who on their own are some of the best that OOWF can offer. But because of insecurities and one voice, whichever it is and whoever it belongs to, saying the things that play on them; you get The Awakening and all the messes that they make, in the name of cleaning things up in OOWF. But in the end, they’ve been no better than the villains that they’ve created in their heads to justify their actions. Though for some reason, it seems that this reborn aggression in the Saints of Sinners has given a common enemy to all of us and The Awakening. Beverly has always been cool with us, but for Chloe and Edra to extend any semblance of an olive branch signifies that things are about to get real, and we’re right in the blast zone.”

KM: “So, now that we might be allies, we …”

MF: “Pray that we see the other side of this battle before The Awakening’s aggression turns to us.”

KM: “How are you so sure that they won’t double cross us?”

MF: “I’m not. But as long as they say that they have our backs, you have to trust that they do, because the Saints of Sinners will pick us all clean if they see any doubt or hesitation in any one of us. We have the numbers, but that's never been a deterrent for the Saints. Violence is their safe space, and they just remembered that fact.”

*MAC pensively sips at his water and stares toward, but not at, a television playing footage from the SAINTS OF SINNERS attack of ZED and MAC while KYLIE rubs his neck as the scene fades*

[Jack Quinn]

<We pan to the back of the arena and we see Moose sitting on top of a pile of pallets smoking a cigar and drinking whisky. Moose shakes his head when he notices the INC>

MHJ: I have heard it already. The mock outrage. The indignation. "THE SAINTS HAVE GONE TOO FAR!" You see, if I can be afforded the time to tell all of you here today a little bit of a story. It's a parable of sorts. There was once an old man walking home from work, and he's walking in the snow and he stumbled upon a snake frozen in the ice. He took that snake and he brought it home, and he took care of it. And he thawed it out, and he nursed it back to health. And as soon as that snake was well enough, it BIT that old man. And as that old man laid there dying, he asked the snake, "Why? I took care of you. I loved you. I saved your life." And that snake looked that man right in the eye and said, "You stupid old man. I'm a snake."*

You see, the OOWF seems to forget, the Saints of Sinners are snakes. Like a snake, like the deadly cobra, we lure you into a false sense of security. You see us talking to Bing Bong, you see LD's relationship with his daughter, or you see the relationship unfold between Lucas and my sister and you think "oh, maybe they're not such bad guys after all! They're just like us!"

We. Are. NOTHING. Like. You

I've said it before and I will continue to say it, the OOWF is OUR hunting grounds. We take what we want, when we want. Now, <smirking> I know some of you are sitting there saying "oh yeah, it's easier to pick on the weak, like Justin." In fact, it is. It's also about survival. If you can't survive the Saints, then you are weak. It's time to cull the herd in the OOWF. Survival of the fittest. But don't just take my word for it, let's ask Bill!

<the camera pans and we see a very bloody very unconscious Awesome Bill From Dawsonville slumped on the pallet next to Moose>

MHJ: What say you Billy Boy? Are the Saints just being mean?

<Moose hops off the pallets and Stank, LD and 13 flank him>

MHJ: Billy Dee said it best, WE are the fucking Saints of Sinners. Whether you like us or not is fucking irrelevant. Everything you see around here, ALL of it, that doesn't come from Eco. No, Juni just had the idea, we, WE are the fucking men who BUILT this place! Do you think people tuned in to watch Concrete TG? No, they tuned in to watch Concrete TG try to kick my ass. Do you think they tuned in to watch Davin Moreland? No. They tuned in to watch Davin try to kick Stank's ass. Do you think they tuned in to watch Donnie Viper? No, they tuned in to watch Donnie Viper try to kick LD's ass. And you know what? They all failed. Where are they now? They are gone, we are here. WE are the OOWF, not Awakening, not the Darlings, not Eco, not Texpress, the fucking SAINTS OF SINNERS are the OOWF. We cast the shadow across this place, whether you like that or not.

<Moose lights another cigar and takes a long drag>

MHJ: Is it fair? Fuck fair. It is reality. You want to achieve anything in the OOWF? It runs through the Saints. You want to stop us? We are not hard to find. Until then, we will do whatever the fuck we want, because we can.

Trust me

<Moose, 13, LD and Stank all laugh and walk away as we fade>



*credit to CM Punk and Aesop's fables

[wld]

Cut to Bing-Bong in front of the Four Things Scoreboard.

VoT: Ladies and gentlemen, I am Voiceover Tad, and she is the OOWF Diamond Princess Champion, Bing-Bong. We have a scoreboard, our sponsorship is in doubt, and we have a special guest host - The OOWF’s Legend-in-Waiting, Miranda Williams! This is Bing-Bong’s Four Things.

MW: Legend-in-Waiting….I like it. Nice intro, Tad.

VoT: Least I can do, since you’re covering for -

Bing-Bong trumpets warningly.

Vot: -him this week. Shall we get started?

MW: Let’s.

SYB <in the distance>: HEY!

One:

Just because you’re old is no excuse to be mean!

MW: Hmmm...wonder who she’s talking about?

VoT: Not a clue.

Bing-Bong trumpets.

MW: We knew, B. We were being sarcastic.

Bing-Bong mutters

VoT: Speaking of things we’re not speaking of...how are you doing with the whole...um-

MW: Daddy and the geezers are playing get off my lawn with a barbed wire bat?

VoT: That thing, yeah.

MW: Sadly, it’s neither the dumbest nor the most embarrassing thing he’s ever done.

VoT: ...and I thought he had a strange childhood.

MW: You have no idea.

Two:

If a fan brings me to ringside for Eco’s match, does that mean Dre can use me as a weapon?

MW: That might be pushing it…

VoT: Actually the rules are very unspecific about what is or isn’t a weapon. Other than ‘a fan has to bring it’, it’s pretty much wide open.

MW: ...Looked into it, did we?

VoT: Like, Matt Folz, I too am a fan.

MW: Who doesn’t like Ecosystem.

VoT: I never said that...out loud.

Three

Sunday night, there are ten wrestlers in Championship matches. Six of them are female - including four defending champions. Just saying.

MW: Reason # 427 why I love the OOWF.

Bing-Bong mutters.

MW: You’re top ten, B. Definitely.

Bing-Bong chuffs.

MW: Right behind old Tad here.

VoT: …

B-B: …

MW: …

VoT: I know you’re kidding and I don’t even care.

Four:

I was going to say it’s a toss up between Beverly - Zed and Chloe - Mac, but Sunday’s card is so stacked any match could steal the show!

MW: I’m looking forward to Mari vs. Kylie, myself. How about you, Tad?

VoT: I’m kinda partial to the Onslaught triple threat, actually.

MW: Liking your style, Tad. B?

Bing-Bong trumpets.

MW: Still interested in the street fight. Really?

Bing-Bong grumbles.

MW: Rooting for SYB...Man, you are ticked at Dad.

VoT: Ladies and Gentlemen, those were Bing-Bong’s Four Things.

<fade>

[L!zz~]

OOC: I wish I could give the above 1000 likes.