[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – Oct. 7, 2023
LIVE! from Johnstown, Pennsylvania

• Champions’ challenge (Winner to face OOWF World Champion Lexie Darling): Zed vs. Angie Delpetro vs. Sean Franklin

• Imperial Onslaught (winner earns an anytime contract to face the OOWF World Champion at their choosing) featuring Alexander Darling, Annie Horvath, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville, Beverly Cambridge, Bridget O’Malley, Carrie, Dakota, Harper, Hunter, Jack Quinn, Jeff Mangyuniku, Justin Sane, Katie Bardoor, Kylie Mignolio, Liam, Lindsay McAllister, Mac Flasher, Nigel, Nuke, Ona Jones, Pete Quick, PORK and Sandra Fallon.

• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. winner of Champions’ Challenge

Card subject to availability of funds on the OOWF corporate credit card after PORK’s first Sheetz run

[Zed]

The INC shows a limousine showing up outside the ‘Hell On Earth Celebration Party.’ As the car stops, Rev. BRICK~! ambles out and makes a grand show of opening one of its doors. Out steps Zed, clearly a little embarrassed by the grandiose entrance but trying his best to enjoy the moment and not make any cheesy Ric Flair jokes. Zed is still in his ring gear from Hell on Earth, but now has on a shirt that says “Tio’s Grand Slam” and one of the wrist bands Josie and her team designed.

Sean Franklin also steps out of the car, giving Zed a pat on the shoulders before they start walking into what looks like your standard, run-of-the-mill convention center behind BRICK~! Zed is nodding with approval that BRICK~! at least took his advice on a less conspicuous venue. He is oblivious that the electronic marquee outside the venue changes from ‘HELL ON EARTH CELEBRATION PARTY’ to ‘ZED’S GRAND SLAM CELEBRATION’ as soon as he walks by.

As Zed enters the building, Rev. BRICK~! grabs a microphone.

B~!: Ladies and gentlemen, the man of the hour, one half of your NEWWWWWWWW OOWF World Tag Team Champions and the 16th member of the OOWF Grand Slam Champions Club, from NORTH … CAROLINAAAAAAA. IT’S ZEEEEED!

Zed shakes his head at the introduction as “Shoot to Thrill” begins to play at the venue. Rev. BRICK~! hands Zed the microphone, which confuses Zed even more.

B~!: *leaning in, whispering in Zed’s ear* Give a speech!

Z: About what?!

B~!: How great you are, obviously!

Zed rolls his eyes, and as he turns the mic back on and holds it up, the music fades.

Z: I, uh … gosh, thanks to all of you for coming to this little post-show party. I … don’t love that I appear to be the focal point at the moment, but I do love that we have this chance to get together and celebrate our biggest show of the year, especially after the time away. We’re back, baby!

Smattered applause from the crowd.

Z: Congrats to all of the other winners and champions tonight. This is always a special, special evening. Beyond being our Super Bowl, it’s also always held a special place in my heart being in North Carolina. Obviously, we haven’t traveled as much since the restart, but this will always be home to me.

You’ve already heard me talk for too long, so I’ll keep it short. Thanks to everyone who helped bring this back. Thanks to everyone who has supported me in my career, even the ones that aren’t here tonight. And let’s fucking do this again next year!

That gets a loud cheer as the music starts to play again and Zed turns off the microphone. Zed looks at Sean and shakes his head.

Z: I wish this were more about us and less about me.

SF: Us as tag team champions can start tomorrow. You can enjoy tonight, it’s okay.

Zed nods.

Z: I appreciate it.

They fist bump, and Zed turns around to see Josie running towards him, eager to show off the large, ring-shaped cake. FADE.

---

OOC from “Zed” – First things first: All OOWF “characters” are invited to this party and are welcome to use it for anything they might want to do promo-wise post-show, but also no one is required to be here if you’d rather do your storytelling somewhere else.

More importantly: Thank you to everyone here for indulging my time in OOWF over the years. I know it’s just a fake wrestler winning a fake belt championship, but I’m so glad it’s back and we’re telling these stories again. I hope we’ve got another long run in us still, and someone will be able to join me in “the club” in due time.

Cheers to the OOWF!

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER and SANDRA FALLON still at ZED’s celebration party. SANDRA is greeting everyone who walks past with a smile, hug or both while MAC is nursing a soda and thumbing through his phone*

SANDRA: “Dude. You’ve barely said a word since we got here. I get that the loss sucked, but this party is to honor your friend who just completed a grand slam.”

MAC: “It’s not that I lost, it’s that a cardboard representation of me lost on my behalf because while I had anything involving Bridget blocked from my OOWF TV feed, she was going through some very heavy stuff and I guess she’s separated all reality involving me and placed it in that stand-up figure. I didn’t even know about the standee’s involvement in the three-way match until afterward when my social mentions were blowing up. But now, I’m unable to compete for four shows because … I mean, I’m still not sure.”

SF: “Maybe you needed this refresh. You’ve been walking around the apartment with about 12 ice packs wrapped around you. Now you have eight weeks where you aren’t competing, but still getting paid and still on TV.”

MF: “Yeah, and the broadcast team is already calling me “Intern” and texting me their coffee preferences. You wouldn’t believe it, but Russ has a very particular coffee order. Firewoman would be proud.”

SF: “What are you going to do about Bridget? You can’t just let her keep being … This.”

*the feed cuts to a shot of BRIDGET O’MALLEY and CARDBOARD MAC, amongst others at the limbo contest emceed by THE REVEREND BRICK~!, which CARDBOARD MAC easily wins*

MF: “I don’t know what I can do. I’m not even sure that she sees me as Mac Flasher any more. I might be a nameless gray face to her right now. Anything that I say might be heard as if I’m an adult in a Peanuts special. I’m worried, but I’m totally clueless to what I can do.”

SF: “Well, don’t let that lead you to doing nothing. I know you, brah, you think you can’t be the one to solve the problem, so you leave it undone and basically unstarted. If you can’t help her get back to the Bridget you knew, maybe you find the helper.”

MF: “Did you, a Californian, just Mister Rogers me, a person who grew up in the same county as Fred Rogers?”

SF: “I guess I did, but you can’t be inactive. You have to be proactive.”

MF: “I trust that you’re right in this case, but now might not be the best time …”

*the feed cuts to CARDBOARD MAC leading a conga line with BRIDGET right behind while it passes MAC and SANDRA as the scene fades*

[Fire-Babe]

Fire is dressed for the party, but makes a stop at OOWF Medical. Given that we don't move around anymore, OOWF Medical has upgraded to a stand-alone medical campus-type facility (one step below a full-fledged hospital). She starts to enter Moose's room but is ironically barred at the door by Katie.

KB: Oh, it's you.

FW: Yes, so move.

KB: Why did you come to the ring? Didn't you trust me?

FW: I trust no one. But my brother does. And that's all we are going to talk about it. Now...if you would be so kind...

Katie hesitates, and then moves. Fire smiles to herself and walks in to a groggy Moose.

MHJ: Here to finish the job?

FW: Aren't we finally past that?

MHJ: Heh...force of habit. OOoooo...don't make me laugh.

FW: You're the one with the jokes. I just wanted to check on you before I head to the Grand Slam party.

MHJ: I'm fine...and when I get back on my feet we are going to have a long talk about these surprise matches of yours.

FW: I'm done.

MHJ: Nothing else left undone?

FW: Well....

MHJ: You should have talked to me.

FW: And ruined the surprise? Distracted you from Quick? Nope. Now, you just lay there and think of what you've done... scaring me so. I got a weak heart, ya know...

MHJ: Only when it's convenient it appears. I'm so going to kick your ass when I get out of here.

FW: Heh, you'll try...Okay, I leave you to Katie's care. You should keep her around. I like her.

MHJ: Go away.

FW: LOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOU......

Fire kisses Moose on the forehead as he groans, and then leaves. Moose breaks into a smile after she's gone, and goes back to sleep.

[Fire-Babe]

Later on at the party, there is plenty of music, dancing, and yes drinking. I mean it's all nonalcoholic, thanks to Rev. Brick, but enterprising wrestlers had smuggled in some flasks, so all is well. Fire and Lucas come up to a very celebratory Zed and Sean.

LM: There they are! Are newest inductees!

SF: Yes! Long live the grand slam!!

ZF: Fire, we get an induction ceremony?

FW: You really should. I will see if I can pull one together....

Lucas and Sean begin to talk about the finer points of some wrestling move or another.

ZF: This is.. wow.. I mean I knew it would feel like a big accomplishment, but... WOW!

FW: You're not wrong. Winning a grand slam is one of my favorite memories of full time wrestling. I never thought I would get it, but then all of a sudden.

ZF: You and Moose must have celebrated for days....

FW: Well, no, I didn't win it with Moose.

ZF: Oh? .... oh, right...

FW: It was still special. It always will be.

ZF: *looking over at Beverly* Yeah... I get that.

FW: Zed... the time will come.

ZF: Huh?

Before Firewoman can explain, Beverly walks up.

BC: You can try all you want, Fire, but he doesn't know his mom's cookie recipe, I've tried.

FW: I was just congratulating him and telling him to enjoy the moment.

BC: Speaking of moments, pretty nice one there with Stacy. Congratulations.

FW: Thank you. It was pretty special... nice loose end to tie up.

BC: I can see that. Got anymore?

Fire just smiles as Lucas calls her name. She takes a drink and walks away.

[L!zz~]

(Zed glanced at Bev as Fire wandered off to Lucas. He smiled, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek (Which a giggling Josie snapped a picture of but they are unaware of that.))

"What do you think that smile meant?" Bev smiled and shrugged, "I think I have an idea but we will talk about it another time" Zed was curious but now wasn't the time for the deep discussions. Fire's comment had him thinking of other things, Bev could tell he was slipping into over thinking. She touched his cheek. "Hey. none of that. not now. let's enjoy the party. It's time to take some pictures."

Zed's eyes widened, "Pictures..what? why?" Bev shook her head as she took his hand to drag him to where he needed to be, "Because you and Sean just won a title. It's customary babe..."

Josie tore past them and they glanced her way but she had run up to Jeff, so they didn't interfere.

We fade as Bev gives Zed a gentle push and he goes to join Sean for a few photos for the company and such.

Fade as Bev turns as she checks out the party, looking for someone.

[L!zz~]

(Jeff looked down at Josie grabbed his hand.)

Josie looked up, "Tio.." She said, designating him with the title. "You haven't eaten yet." Jeff, felt some of his tension leave him "I'm not very hungry Josie. I think I might head out." Josie, hopped up on a chair so she could be eye level with him. "No. Tio. You can't. What happened was.." she paused she didn't want to use a bad word but almost did, "was really wrong...but you should be here with us. Look Shin just got here and there is a ramen bar.....don't go. There are some fun things planned. Please Tio?"

Jeff sighed inwardly, his brother was making his way over to them. He was beginning to see how the simple 3 letter word had an effect on Zed. "Does Zed know you're calling me Tio?" he asked with a smile. Josie laughed. "He will pretend he's jealous but he knows he will always be my favorite." Jeff laughed. "Ok because you made me happy I'll stay..for a little while ok?"

Josie nodded, she hugged him and Jeff swung her off the chair. She greeted Shin before darting off as Mama Zed called to her.

Shin approached his brother as we FADE

[Zed]

After retrieving some of Arctic McBearington's finest Coca-Cola as the party is starting to wind down, Zed takes a quick peek around his surroundings before pulling out one of those pesky flasks Fire mentioned and slips some "additive" into it. He takes a sip and, satisfied with his handiwork, finds Mac Flasher standing against a wall.

Z: I know you're in no mood to talk, but ... I appreciate it. Really.

Mac forces a smile.

MF: You put in the work, no need to thank me.

Z: You know what I mean.

Mac looks down at Zed's drink.

MF: I'm guessing you slipped some Gentleman Jack in there?

Z: That and some shut the hell up before BRICK~! hears you.

That gets a chuckle out of Mac, and Zed smiles a bit, satisfied with the reaction, before taking a sip.

Z: You'll be back soon. It'll be alright. We waited four years, what's two months?

MF: Yeah, well, the wait was worth it for you. 

Z: And it will be for you. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

MF: Where do you even come up with a line like that?

Z: I can't give you all my secrets, Flasher.

Zed winks and starts to walk away.

MF: Hey.

Zed turns back around.

MF: Congrats ... champ.

Zed smiles.

Z: Thanks, man. See you around.

Zed walks away as we FADE.

[L!zz~]

(Josie is having an animated conversation with Fire, Lucas hiding a laugh behind a drink, when Kylie approachs to tell her its almost time to go.)

Josie nodded, "OK Titi, oh Mr. Lucas said I could visit Patrick tomorrow after 3. " Kylie smiled. "We can make that happen." She sent Lucas a grateful glance. He raised his drink at her with a wink.

Josie slid off her chair, pausing as she said good night to Fire and Lucas. She gave Lucas a quick hug and he patted her back. Turning to Fire she held out her hand. "Thank you for hanging out with me. " Fire smiled, touched that Josie respected her boundaries, she took her hand but pulled her a little close. "I enjoyed every moment Josephine. Don't forget to send me the link to your article." Josie grinned "I won't. "

As Josie headed off with Kylie we can hear Kylie ask..."what article?" As we fade

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find BRIDGET O’MALLEY and CARDBOARD MAC inside BRIDGET’s room at the ZeBriBevKy Compound*

BRIDGET: “You don’t get it, do you?”

*BRIDGET pauses as CARDBOARD MAC says nothing, at least to those in the world who aren’t BRIDGET*

BO’M: “Just once, I want to not be in the shadow of Mac Flasher. Everything I’ve done in this company has somehow been credited or linked to you, Mac, and if I did something that would have stood on its own merit … Well, you’d do something to overshadow me. February 28, 2018, I won my first Intercontinental Championship. I wasn’t even competing in OOWF for a year and I was holding singles gold. Didn’t matter a lick. Why? Mac Fucking Flasher wins the World Championship the same night. My accomplishment is just a footnote to your big story. I’m basically tossed in as an oh-by-the-way or labeled as Mac’s protege, when I probably knew more about wrestling than he did when he started in this company.”

*BRIDGET pauses again as CARDBOARD MAC says nothing*

BO’M: “And that’s the other thing. No matter what I did here, and I did a TON. Never once did my best friend from back home in Pennsylvania say that he was proud of me, but the surfer girl shows up and Mac is all about lavishing her with praise, even though she hasn’t done a damn thing in this company. Sure, she won some titles in some weekend companies, but this is OOWF and we don’t do shows in armories and Costco parking lots.”

*BRIDGET pauses again as CARDBOARD MAC says nothing*

BO’M: “But … I have something that Mac Flasher doesn’t have, a job in the ring for the next four shows. While I promised Ona Jones my spot in Imperial Onslaught, it won’t matter if I’m No. 1, No. 24 or some number in between. I will win Imperial Onslaught, in Johnstown, Pennsylvania. Not quite my hometown, but damn close. A town that Mac refuses to compete in, I will thrive in and I hope above all hope that Sandra is the last one in my way. I want Mac to be sitting at the broadcast table when I wrestle rings around his sweetheart and eliminate her. I want Mac Flasher to have to acknowledge that I did something he could never do and likely never will do. Do you hear me, Mac? Did I get your attention on Saturday? Did Mac get your attention?”

*BRIDGET pauses before picking up CARDBOARD MAC and walking the standee out of her room*

BO’M: “Mac. You can sleep on the couch tonight. I got what I wanted from you.”

*BRIDGET closes the door on CARDBOARD MAC, causing the standee to fall down as the scene fades*

[L!zz~]

(A short time later Jeff is heading to his rooms in the ZeBevBriKy Compound when he passes by "Mac" lying on the floor. He stares down at it, his hands clench into fists as his anger and annoysnce raises. )


Jeff wants to stomp a hole in the piece of paper and brings his foot up to do so when Spencer and Ashley come down the hall. He steps back. Embarrassment flooding him. Spencer gives him a look of understanding and she touches his arm. "Hey we were going to have a night cap. Come talk to us " Jeff starts to decline but at a look from Spencer he nods. Spencer links her arm through his and steers him down the hall.

(Ashley picks "Mac" up and brings him to the living room as we fade)

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER and SANDRA FALLON as the two are walking to MAC’s car after ZED’s Grand Slam Celebration, presented by THE REVEREND BRICK~! and brought to you by The God Complex finally draws to a close. As MAC opens SANDRA’s door before heading to the driver’s side, a notification pings on his phone*

SANDRA: “Who’s texting you, babe?”

MAC: “Babe? Do I look like George Herman Ruth or John Goodman’s portrayal of him?”

SF: “Brah, just answer the question.”

MF: “Just an OOWF notification of a video featuring Bridget. Wonder if we should watch.”

SF: “Mac. Not until you talk to her or guide her to someone who can help her.”

MF: “Given what Zed told me inside, it’s probably a tea party with the cardboard standee and some of Josie’s plush animals.”

SF: “Oooh! I bet she grabbed that penguin that looks just like Opus and that koala plush Zed got her during the hiatus.”

MF: “Wait, how do you know about what Zed bought Josie during the hiatus? I don’t even know.”

SF: “Part of rookie orientation was listening to Josie recap everything that happened when OOWF was dark and then take a quiz on it. PORK and I were the only ones who passed. PORK said Josie isn’t even half as frantic a storyteller as his nieces. I just found her life fascinating.”

MF: “Fair enough. I’ll just delete this notification and we’ll head home.”

*MAC clears the notification from his phone, buckles up and starts his car as the scene fades*

[Zed]

We cut to the parking lot at the ZeBevBriKy Compound, as the limousine that brought Zed to the party is now dropping him off at home. As he's getting out, he leans in to offer a passing word to Sean Franklin and Rev. BRICK~!

Z: Monday morning, Sean, bright and early, we gotta be ready to defend these titles in two weeks.

SF: ... No, we don't.

Z: The hell you talking about?

B~!: Language!

SF: I know you're getting up there in age, old timer, but surely you didn't forget about the other part of Imperial Onslaught.

Z: ...

SF: You forgot, didn't you?

Z: I have no idea what you're talking about.

SF: The part where all the champions face each other instead, and the winner gets a World Title match.

Zed blinks repeatedly.

Z: So I have to fight you next week?

Sean smiles.

SF: Don't worry, boss. We'll defend the hell out of these titles. Later.

Z: But I have to fight you next week.

SF: Yes.

Z: I liked it a lot better when you were on my side. I'll still see you Monday.

Zed shuts the door and walks towards the compound, taking a couple of deep breaths. He walks inside with thoughts of heading to bed, but instead sees the "night cap" in the living room.

Z: Don't you guys know it is past my bedtime?

Spencer: You're not getting out of this that easily.

Z: Well, if you're going to twist my arm ...

Zed sits down on the couch beside Beverly, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as a riveting conversation led by Mama Zed about cookie recipes takes place and we FADE.

[L!zz~]

(After getting Josie settled down for the night, Kylie joins the group in the living room. She pours herself a drink and sits on a couch next to Jeff. She clicks her glass to his bottle of beer.)

"So what I miss?" Kylie asked. Spencer turned to her "cookie recipes but we are trying to convince Mama Z to stay longer." Kylie looked to the Older woman "Oh you really should! Now that the show is over we can have such a good time. "

Mama Zed paused glancing at her son. He just smiled and shrugged. He wouldn't mind. "I don't want to be in the way" she demured.

Beverly spoke up "There is no way you would be in the way. Kylie is right, the next few days will be quieter and we can plan a few outings or somethings. Josie would love it."

Mama Z laughed "oh no I know that trick, use the child to sway the old woman to do something." Everyone laughed because there was truth to it.

Jeff looked up. "Oh hey she called me Tio today! Highlight of my day I tell you."

Only Bev caught Zed almost choking on his drink. She patted his leg/knee, as Kylie spoke again. "You've become an important person in her life." Jeff sipped his drink as he glanced at Zed, who was trying to look supportive.

Ashley chimed in, "oh hey anyone want cake? I do. We brought a bunch of leftovers back. "

We fade as Ashley hopped up fetch cake

[Zed]

We (well, at least this particular INC) look ahead to Monday afternoon at the Spin Hansen Memorial Training Center, as Sean Franklin, Zed and Rev. BRICK~! debrief after the day's workout.

Z: So looking back at the history of the, well, Tournament of Champions, as it were -

SF: The thing you couldn't remember.

Z: Yes, exactly, that one ... *laughing* look, I wasn't in it much, okay?

Everyone shares a chuckle.

Z: In the past, obviously, it was a tournament. Since the Onslaught title isn't currently active, it's now a three-way-dance. That's ... really unfortunate for the Onslaught Champion, to put it mildly, but what do you do?

B~!: Use that to your advantage!

Z: Obviously. Nothing dirty, nothing malicious, by the rules. But we can't be dumbasses, either.

B~!: Language!

Z: Apologies, we can't be overzealous preachers made of clay, either.

B~!: Thank you. Wait a second...

SF: You're right, though. We work together, eliminate the other threat, and we settle it between us.

Z: I don't love it, but it's the only logical way to go about it. Hopefully next year, there's another title floating in the ether to alleviate this issue for the champions, but we can't change that now.

SF: I'm surprised that slime ball Pete Quick isn't trying to weasel his way into the tournament as a 'champion.'

Z: Don't give him any ideas. Anyways, are we all in agreement?

B~!: Well...

Zed looks at BRICK~! with confusion. Surely, of all people, he'd be the person on board with this?

Z: Well?

B~!: Do you remember what happened the time you were in the Tournament of Champions, Zed?

Z: I didn't even remember it was a thing, friend. I think you know the answer to that.

BRICK~! pulls up video on his phone of Zed, effectively on one good leg, losing to Alexander Darling at the 2015 show.

Z: ... What are you getting at?

B~!: It's time for a full circle moment Zed. That night, Alexander Darling stole what belonged to you ... and then left with the World Championship. It's time for you to take that title from a Darling.

Z: So what do you propose, Sean takes a dive?

B~!: Of course not! We have to put on a good show for the fans! But he should definitely be aware you need to able to fight on two legs this time in the title match. Besides, imagine the t-shirt sales!

Z: I'm not worried about t-shirts, BRICK~!. I'm worried about giving ourselves the best chance at winning the title.

B~!: And what better way than to make sure you're well-rested?

Z: How about letting the best man win?

Zed and Rev. BRICK~! stare icily at each other while Sean stands there trying to figure out if this is the time for him to speak up or shut up.

B~!: We'll talk about it later.

Z: Sure. 

B~!: See you all tomorrow!

Rev. BRICK~! walks away, Zed and Sean share an awkward look at each other as we FADE.

[Fire-Babe]

The next evening...

Fire is dressed very nicely, and is giving Patrick, Josie, and Mrs. Mann last minute instructions.

FW: Okay, Josie, I know you are very grown up and can handle everything. Mrs. Mann is just here visiting her grandson, so she will be available as back up if you need it, right Ma?

MrsM: Absolutely. I know Josie can handle everything. I may just be here making my famous Mac & Cheese, if anyone wants any...

PM: MEEEEEEEEE!!

J: Ooooo, me too!

FW: Well, now if your father would just get here. Where has he run off to?

MrsM: He said something about a surprise?

FW: Well, I am hungry, so I hope it's a steak din--

On cue, the doorbell rings. Mrs. Mann smirks, as if she know something, and Patrick and Josie start to giggle. Fire looks at them all suspiciously, before going to answer the door. Once she opens the door she is greeted with a HUGE bouquet of flowers shoved into her face.

FW: What the--

Voice behind the Flowers: I am sorry I am late, I hope your dad won't be angry.

FW: Lucas, my dad is ... what is going on?

Stank moves the flower to reveal a silly grin on his face, and furthermore to reveal that he was wearing a VERY large letter sweater.

S: You like?

FW: WHERE did you get that?

S: I earned that!

FW: Uh huh.

S: I did! Mom brought it with her out of storage. I lettered in football and wrestling.

FW: Of course....

S: Are we doing this or not?

FW: FINE...

Fire takes the flowers and puts them in the vase that Mrs. Mann coincidentally has ready to go.

FW: Great. Is everyone in on this?

S: Naw, Moose is in the hospital. Otherwise he'd play the role of the parent telling me to get you home in a decent hour as he cleaned a shotgun.

FW: Okay, okay... let's go....

Fire leans down and kisses Patrick on the cheek, with a final admonishment to be good and listen to Josie. She nods to Josie, who is just beaming at all this silliness like girls of her age sometimes do with romantic stuff. FINALLY, Stank ushers Fire to a 57 Chevy convertible, top down.

FW: WHERE did you get this?

S: Don't worry, I rented it for the evening.

They get in the car and take off.

Scene change and they have arrived at Curate. They get escorted to their table.

S: How was I to know the drive-in was closed?

FW: It's fine, you didn't have to take me to a drive-in.

S: My wife wants to re-enact "Grease," we go to a drive in.

FW: This is very nice. Thank you.

S: Are you suuuuuure you've never had a date?

FW: Well...no, I'm not.... I was thinking about it and in fact--

They are interrupted by the waiter. She takes drink orders and informs of specials. They agree that the specials are indeed special enough, so they order two. After she leaves--

FW: Man, they have the AC all the way up in here.

S: Allow me.

Stank takes off his letter sweater as he gets up and puts it around Fire's shoulders.

FW: .....did you pay them to turn up the AC?

S: A gentleman never tells.

FW: Whatever...

She pretends to be annoyed, but she smiles instead.

FW: I just hope we don't see anyone we know.

S: Ashamed to be seen with me?

FW: Of course not... Just.. a nice break for one evening is all I ask.

FAAAADE...or do we?

[L!zz~]

(Kylie is seen at the compound Watching OOWF.tv and smiles at the date scene.)

"I hope they have a nice time" she says to herself. Sighing she looks around. "You know what Kylie Joanne? Josie is fine. Zed is going to pick her up. Go out and find some fun. You deserve it."

We see Kylie head down to her rooms to get her things and the scene shifts...


(Another part of the compound)


Spencer is in the bar with Ashley as workers work to complete it. Ashley looks at Spencer. "Oh Mac should be here soon."

Spencer blinks. "Mac?" Ashley smiles "the real one. I don't know anyone more sports enthused than him so I asked him to come in and consult on the bar layout and what things sports people would like."

Spencer nodded, hoping Bridget and "Mac" weren't around. "That's actually a really good idea.."

We fade as the INC moves around

[Jack Quinn]

<We cut to the Quinn cabin as the sun is going down. Jack sits alone on the porch listening to the sounds of the coming evening. We hear a car come up the drive way, and a few moments later Kali walks out on the porch. She kisses Jack on the forehead and he hands her a glass of wine. Kali lights a candle and we see Jack has been sitting there wearing dark sunglasses. Kali frowns and sits down next to him>

K: Headaches still won't go away

J: Nope

K: Have you talked to the doctor?

J: I called today, he said just relax. If the dizzy spells got worse, come in.

K: Have they?

J: <ignoring the question> Did you tell Zed I was sorry to miss his ceremony?

K: I did. He understood.

J: And the Dojo?

K: PORK has stepped in and is doing great at training. Katie is improving every day.

J: So, they really don't need me there

K: Jackie, what's going on?

J: Nothing. What else is going on? Did you talk to Fire?

K: No, I didn't see her. Oh, Quick has been telling everyone who will listen that he isn't done with you.

J: <sighing> He will never be done. <chuckling> Man, now I know how Alex felt.

<There is a long silence between them>

K: If you're not cleared to fly, we will have to drive to Johnstown. We can leave a day early and stay over half way, somewhere in Virginia I guess

<Jack again says nothing>

K: Jackie.....talk to me

J: You know......for fifteen years, I never had a home. Essentially, I was homeless, we all were. We were on the road endlessly, there was no home base. I never understood why Fire insisted on having a home when she would only get to spend a few days a year, at best, when we just happened to be close enough in the area to make it worthwhile.

And now? LD had it right. He found his happy place. I never thought I would get that, but......it's here. I could never do the schedule we used to do. It's too nice to have a home to come home to.

K: At least it isn't an international tour, and since we only run every two weeks, we can come home. Though, we do have a stop in Detroit.

J: <sighing> Good. It's time to put some things to rest.

K: I'm worried about you Jackie.

J: <hugging her close> nothing to worry about.

<fade>

[Zed]

After months of build-up in Asheville, North Carolina, the OOWF traveling circus is back on the road and loading into Johnstown, Pennsylvania. Zed stands across the street from Cambria County War Memorial Arena, simply looking at the building in silence.

As Zed looks at the venue, Beverly Cambridge walks up from behind and stands beside him.

BC: I thought I'd find you here.

Z: So I'm that predictable.

Beverly smiles a bit.

BC: You're not dwelling on the past, are you?

Z: So I am that predictable. I mean ... no? But yes?

Still focused on the building, Zed considers how to put his thoughts into words.

Z: I've moved on, right. I know I made the biggest mistake of my career here, but I've stopped letting that decision haunt me. Life has moved on. We all moved on. Hell, we weren't even wrestling for a while. 

Zed looks down at his feet for a second before returning his gaze to the electronic marquee outside the arena.

Z: But being here ... is different. Seeing the place. Knowing it happened here. So I'm making my peace now, I guess, before we carry on with the rest of the week. 

Beverly puts her arm around Zed's waist as they both look at the arena, without saying a word. Eventually, Zed breaks the silence.

Z: There's a bar across the street here. The internet says they have really good tacos. And the internet never lies, you know that.

BC: You're such a romantic.

Z: *pointing at the marquee sign* Nah, romantic would be dragging your ass here tomorrow to see REO Speedwagon. You know you want to hear me sing "Can't Fight This Feeling" at the top of my lungs.

BC: Tacos sound amazing.

Z: Let's get out of here.

They start to walk away from the Cambria County War Memorial Arena.

Z: "And if I have to crawl upon the floooooor ..."

BC: Please stop.

Z: Okay, but only because you asked nicely, babe.

FADE.

[L!zz~]

(The INC wanders, we see Flashes of various members of the oowf before tbe scene settles on Kylie, Josie and the Woodsmen.)

Kylie looked down at Josie than to the Woodsmen. She addressed Dakota, "let me get this straight. You want to take Josie out geocaching as part of her environmental science lesson?" She glanced at Josie and Hunter who were decked out in hiking gear and pouring over a map.

Dakota nodded "Fear not Miss Kylie! Young Josephine will have a most excellent lesson and time on this nature based treasure hunt!"

Kylie sighed. "You'll be very careful?"

Dakota crossed his heart. "You can trust us to keep our young explorer safe."

Kylie looked torn but finally nodded. "Alright. Josephine you can go but no fooling around..or not too much ok?" Josie ran over and hugged her aunt who tripled checked she had everything she would need. Soon the trio set off all playing a song on their kazoos.

Kylie glanced around "um camera person...thing....would you please keep an eye on them for me?" The INC rapidly blinked a red light to let Kylie know they heard her and than set off after the explorers.

(We fade as Kylie looks apprehensive)

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find BRIDGET O’MALLEY at a local appearance on stage at an unnamed elementary school near Johnstown, Pennsylvania, alongside a cardboard standee of MAC FLASHER, but not the ‘MAC’ we’ve grown to love. This ‘MAC’ is in street clothes fashioned by JOSIE, representative of MAC’s four-show ban from competing*

BRIDGET: “… And I know with all of Johnstown rooting me on, I’ll be able to avenge the unfortunate ban on Mac Flasher and win Imperial Onslaught in his honor. After that, I might just become OOWF World Champion. Thank you and go Rangers!”

*the assembled CHILDREN applaud politely as suddenly a very weary HUNTER and DAKOTA, THE WOODSMEN, alongside JOSIE wander on stage to wild applause*

HUNTER *breathlessly*: “It appears that we’ve stumbled into a den filled with the young people of this town.”

BO’M: “Well, this is unexpected. It’s The Woodsmen and Josie!”

*DAKOTA pulls out an alphorn kazoo and plays the trademark fanfare as HUNTER places his hand across his brow and DAKOTA steps on an imaginary rock. JOSIE stands politely, having not quite figured out her pose yet*

H: “Our pathfinding technology has misled us. It told us that this spot was filled with forests and hills and was the home of rangers. I, and my assistant Dakota, see nothing of the sort.”

BO’M: “Gentlemen, that’s because this is Forest Hills Elementary School, which is home of the Rangers.”

DAKOTA: “Wait, so the town’s scholastic teams are named Rangers?”

BO’M: “Have been since the days that the school district changed its identity in 1966.”

D: “And here I thought these neighborhoods appreciated the work that park rangers do with their 'Go Rangers' signs and an overwhelming amount of hunter green …”

H: “While not my favorite shade of green, I am honored that the shade was named for me.”

*as THE WOODSMEN continue bantering, BRIDGET whispers in JOSIE’s ear and points off stage before JOSIE excitedly darts off*

BO’M: “Guys. You must be exhausted having wandered this region all night and winding up a good 20-minute drive from Johnstown. So I’ll give you a break and ask these fine students a question … WHO WANTS A T-SHIRT?”

*the CHILDREN lose their minds as JOSIE drags out a bag filled with OOWF t-shirts and begins tossing them out to the audience. While JOSIE, HUNTER and DAKOTA have suddenly been pressed into merchandising duties, BRIDGET carries ‘MAC’ off stage as the INC follows*

BO’M: “They bought it. Those kids actually think that I’m going to win Imperial Onslaught for you, when I’m actually going to win it to eclipse you. Just like you as a kid, they’ll believe anything that guides their brains to a fairy-tale ending. Come Saturday in Johnstown, only I get the ‘happily ever after’ when I win Imperial Onslaught and then cash in on whomever is world champion.”

*BRIDGET roughly carries ‘MAC’ on her way to the exit as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER sitting in as a guest on the ‘To Be Edited in Later Podcast’ alongside BIFF SLAMKOVICH as they are recording live outside 1st Summit Arena @ Cambria County War Memorial*

BIFF: “So Mac, as we’re days away from the return of Imperial Onslaught and while you won’t be competing, you’ll be involved as the newest member of the broadcast table, joining Russ and Razz on commentary over the next four shows.”

MAC: “It all worked out that a place that Mac Flasher would never wrestle in again is hitting the first show of my competition ban. While it’s good to be home, I’m going to see a ring on that arena and think of Zed turning his back on me in 2017, or the Saints of Sinners beatdown that Zed and BRICK~! helped along in 2018, or the very regrettable thing that I did to Bridget in 2019 just to save my skin when another Saints of Sinners beatdown was eminent.”

BS: “Yeah. Speaking of Bridget O'Malley. You must be furious after seeing her comments concerning her involvement in your Hell on Earth match against Nuke on OOWF TV, which is free for only $6.66 per month.”

MF: “Actually, I am aware that she’s been going through some heavy stuff emotionally, but I haven’t seen any footage of her in the past three-plus weeks.”

BS: “Wait. So you … Holy shit, dude. You have missed SO much.”

MF: “Wait. What are you talking about?”

*BIFF pulls out his tablet and hits play on a supercut of the past three-plus weeks of footage featuring BRIDGET O’MALLEY*

BS: “Yeah, Mac. I thought you knew and were just playing along like everyone else to support her until she revealed that this was part of some plan to screw you out of a win against Nuke at Hell on Earth.”

*MAC says nothing, possibly not even hearing BIFF, as he digests the footage and processes what he is watching*

BS: “OK, while Mac is taking a powder to watch some film, I’m here to tell you about the newest way to ensure unwanted odors are a thing of the past in your underwear drawer, thanks to the power of …”

MF: “Wait! So … This was all a setup?”

BS: “Hey, Mac’s back. I’ll just get back to that ad read in a minute. Yeah … Apparently this was all some kind of plan to get you out of the picture so that she can shine brighter than you.”

MF: “I’m at a total loss for words, Biff. I’m just … I gotta get out of here. Sorry to do this, but I …”

*MAC takes off his headset, pats BIFF on the shoulder and hastily walks away from the table while BIFF continues on without MAC. The INC follows MAC as he’s walking to his car while making a phone call*

MF: “Sandra. We need to have a chat about Bridget …”

*MAC continues walking to his car as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find HUNTER and DAKOTA, THE WOODSMEN, still on stage at Forest Hills Elementary School, having exhausted a seemingly endless supply of OOWF t-shirts to the assembled CHILDREN, trying their hardest to end the now hours-long assembly*

HUNTER: “So, fair children of Sidman, Beaverdale, South Fork, St. Michael and all of the communities that comprise this school district, we bid you a fond adieu and assure you that until the next time our paths cross, you should always trust …”

CHILD IN BACK OF AUDITORIUM: “We want a song!”

H: “Little Woodsman, we have come unprepared to perform musical stylings. Plus ‘Zed’s Mom’s Rhapsody’ was a special moment that just came together.”

CIBOA: “SONG!”

H: “Young Woodsman, we just can’t turn into musicians at the drop of a hat. We need to practice for hours …”

THE ENTIRE AUDITORIUM: “SONG! SONG! SONG! SONG! SONG!”

*DAKOTA steps in front of HUNTER and assembles The Pain Cabin in record time complete with giant speakers on the outside before nodding at HUNTER and JOSIE, suddenly a kazoo-infused instrumental from ‘Boom, Boom, Boom. Boom!!’ by Vengaboys begins to play as the assembled CHILDREN lose their minds again*

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh; whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

D: “The Woodsmen are back in town.”

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh; whoa-oh, whoa-oh. Whoa-oh, whoa-oh; whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

JOSIE: “If you're wrestling against The Woodsmen, Hunter and Dakota have become your problems; just come along, baby, take your hand, you should tap out tonight.”

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

J: “This is what you need to do.”

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

D: “I’ll tap you out.”

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

J: “Two on two, just them and you.”

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

J: “Boom, boom, boom, boom! The cabin is your doom; with wood from Minnesota, you’ll tap out to Dakota. Boom, boom, boom, boom! The tapping goes boom boom; you’ll spend the night in stitches, you are The Woodsmen’s …”

*DAKOTA pulls the mic from JOSIE to avoid a conundrum where JOSIE might have to contribute to her own swear jar*

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

D: “Everybody get on down.”

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

D: “The Woodsmen are back in town.”

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

J: “This is what you’re gonna do!”

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

D: “Let’s have some fun.”

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

J: “Two on two, just them and you.”

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

J: “Boom, boom, boom, boom! The cabin is your doom; with wood from Minnesota, you’ll tap out to Dakota. Boom, boom, boom, boom! The tapping goes boom boom; you’ll spend the night in stitches, you are The Woodsmen’s …”

*DAKOTA pulls the mic again before JOSIE wrestles it back and hits another chorus*

J: “Boom, boom, boom, boom! The cabin is your doom; with wood from Minnesota, you’ll tap out to Dakota. Boom, boom, boom, boom! The tapping goes boom boom; you’ll spend the night in stitches, you are The Woodsmen’s …”

*DAKOTA grabs JOSIE’s mic again*

H: “Whoa-oh, whoa-oh; whoa-oh, whoa-oh. Whoa-oh, whoa-oh; whoa-oh, whoa-oh.”

J: “Boom, boom, boom, boom! The cabin is your doom; with wood from Minnesota, you’ll tap out to Dakota. Boom, boom, boom, boom! The tapping goes boom boom; you’ll spend the night in stitches, you are The Woodsmen’s …”

*DAKOTA grabs JOSIE’s mic again*

J: “Boom, boom, boom, boom! The cabin is your doom; with wood from Minnesota, you’ll tap out to Dakota. Boom, boom, boom, boom! The tapping goes boom boom; you’ll spend the night in stitches, you are The Woodsmen’s …”

*DAKOTA just cuts the entire sound system while the assembled CHILDREN wildly applaud as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER sitting across from SANDRA FALLON at a table inside their shared hotel suite as she’s watching video on her phone*

SANDRA: “Mac … I honestly had …”

MAC: “Neither did I. When you suggested that I just block all things Bridget from my OOWF feeds, I wasn’t thinking it was because of this.”

SF: “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry that this cost you four shows.”

MF: “I believe you. You don’t seem like the type to hatch longterm conspiracies, especially the kind that affect careers.”

SF: “Dude … Say the words and I’ll wreck her if I get my hands on her during Imperial Onslaught.”

MF: “Don’t. Fight your fight, but don’t go out of your way to seek her out.”

SF: “Mac, she messed with you and embarrassed you. She’s now treating the idea of you as a joke. This is my fight because it’s our fight. You’d do the same for me, and don’t say that you won’t because you defended Kylie and Bridget in similar situations when they were put in bad spots. You’re in a bad spot and I’m getting that pound of flesh on your behalf.”

MF: “Sandra … Just …”

SF: “This is what she wants. She has you out of your element and sitting at the broadcast table. She wants to take a town that you’ve had the worst wrestling memories and turn it into some path to a big coronation. Mac, I assure you that I won’t let it happen.”

MF: “Just don’t put yourself in harm’s way. Make one mistake and she’ll put you through hell.”

SF *grabbing MAC’s hand and staring him deep in his eyes*: “Mac. She fucked with you. I will be the hell that you fear awaits me. You get the smiling surfer girl outside of the ring, she’s getting a no-nonsense assassin inside of it.”

MF: “Very well. I’ll still have to be an objective journalist at the broadcast when you win, but know that I’m rooting for you … Unless Russ sends me out for concessions during your big moment, then you might have to tell me about it later.”

SF: “Brah, I’ll wait for you to get back with Russ’ cheeseburger before eliminating Bridget.”

MF: “Speaking of cheeseburgers, I know a place …”

SF: “Swear to all that is holy that if you just take me to Wendy’s, I’m giving you a preview of what I have planned for Saturday.”

MF: “Relax. I was going to take you to a mom-and-pop place called McDonald’s. My per diems have shrunk a bit since I’m not an active wrestler. Gotta ball on a budget for a few weeks.”

SF: “I’ll pay if it means getting something a bit more sit-down.”

MF: “Deal.”

*MAC and SANDRA prepare to depart as the scene fades*

[Jack Quinn]

<We cut to the back where War Pigs - Katie Bardoor and PORK - are standing. An OOWF banner drops down, and our Newest OOWF interviewer Scoop Watson steps in.

SW: Ladies and Gentlemen I am here with the War Pigs, Katie Bardoor and PORK! The two of you have done quite well in the tag ranks recently, but this week, you two could very well square off at the Imperial Onslaught. PORK what are your thoughts on facing your tag partner?

P: Well Scoop, if Katie and I are in that ring together, there is one thing that I know - she's got my back and Iv'e got hers, and if it comes down to one on one....<smiling and chuckling> I think we'd be there for awhile before one of us went over the top rope

SW: And Katie........

KB: <who has been pacing back and forth like a caged animal. She stops and gets close to Scoop and sniffs him> Smell that PORK? That's fear!

P: Katie, please do not break the new guy

KB: So......let me get this right, there is a chance I could be in the ring with any number of dicknuts on the roster? So, I can punch Liam in the face?

SW: Well....yes

KB: And I can punch Nigel in the face?

SW: Yes

KB: And Pete Quick?

SW: Potentially, yes

P: Katie, you can punch anyone in the face, but remember we DO have some allies......maybe don't punch Dakota?

SW: .......maybe. But only because of the hat

P: And what about Hunter?

KB: IF THAT <bleepin> COMES ANYWHERE THE <bleep> NEAR ME I WILL <bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep> AND THEN TEAR ONE ARM OFF AND SHOVE IT SO FAR UP HIS <blleeeeeeeeeeeepin> AND THEN TAKE THE OTHER ARM AND SHOVE IT SO FAR DOWN HIS <bllleeeeeeep> THROAT HE CAN SHAKE HIS OWN HAND! AND THEN I WILL <bleeeeeeep> AND A FORKLIFT TO <bleeeeeeep> SIOUX FALLS SOUTH DAKOTA!

<Scoop and PORK just stand and stare>

KB: Alright then.........let's go punch some people!

<fade>