[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Bor-Ondor, Mongolia

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Mongolian Death Match[/u]
Stank vs. LD Williams

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Alexander Darling vs. Donovan Viper

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Bunny vs. Ryan Hardcore

Best of Seven Series - Match 2: Davin Moreland leads 1-0[/u]
Davin Moreland vs. Chris Cole

OOWF World Tag Team Title Round Robin Tournament[/u]
Phantos & Lucios (1-1) vs. The Heels (1-1)
IHOP (1-1) vs. The Midnight Sons (2-1)

F. Fonzworth MacCappington vs. Ecosystem
Eric O'Mac vs. Concrete TG
Firewoman &The Dead vs. Beast & Outback Jack
BAD vs. Blitz & Voltage
Capellan vs. The Nerve Agent vs. Mark Vander

Card subject to mental collapse

[blownspot]

<Stank is in the back room of the Destroyitarium getting his shoulder taped.>

OBJ - Don't go back there, mate. He's in a foul mood.

Spin - Yeah he's not talking to us.

Mags - We only did what we did because we can't afford to lose the World Championship to Bennett's army.

OBJ - Yeah, but I think we didn't take into consideration how much of a proud champion Stank really is.

Mags - So what... we should have just let Williams pop his shoulder? We should have just let Bennett Army have the title?

<An object goes whizzing past Magnusson's head. It SMASHES into liquor bottles set up behind the bar and plops to the floor. Outback Jack who is standing behind the bar, bends down and picks up the OOWF World Title belt. Jack, Spin, and Mags turn to see a severely PISSED off World Champion standing from where the belt flew. Stank just stares wild-eyed at the other members of D&D. The doctor comes out from the back room trying to coax Stank back to an examination table.>

Mags - ...

OBJ - ...

Spin - ...

Stank - ...

Mags - ... Uh... It had to be-

Stank - SHHHHHHHH!!!!!

<Stank lowers his finger from his lips and allows the doctor to slowly pull him back into the room. Stank SLAMS!! the door shut!>

Mags - Wow! He is pissed!

Spin - I've haven't seen that look since his feud with Crete.

<Davin Moreland walks into the Destroyitarium.>

DM - Is he here?

OBJ - Yeah he's getting checked out in the back... BUTIWOULDN'T_

<Too late. Moreland makes his way to the back, opens the door, and enters closing the door behind him. A heated exchange is heard and sounds of things crashing against the walls. After a few moments Davin walks out.>

DM - Ok. He's pissed.

OBJ - I tried to warn you.

DM - I'll come back when he's settled down... We did the right thing.

OBJ - You almost sound convinced.

DM - This is war... it's about time he wised up to that fact.

Spin - I don't...

DM - What?

Spin - I'm not sure...

DM - Well you need to get sure.

Spin - That's not what I'm talking about.

DM - Then wha-

OBJ - I think what Spin's trying to say... is fighting this war worth sacrificing our...

DM - Our WHAT?? Our integrity?? There's no room for integrity in war. Those guys ARE not going to fight fair!

OBJ - Moose had several chances to interfere.

Spin - You're right Jack, and he didn't.

Mags - But I did.

OBJ - We all did.

DM - So fucking what? You saw what they did to Firechild! To ME! To US!! That's how they roll! And if WE don't start getting serious about this...

Mags - Yeah, but we're supposed to be the good guys.

DM - Good guys?!! This is FUCKING WAR!

Spin - So we win by any means necessary?

DM - ANY means necessary IS what it's GOING to take! Look, where was your moral fiber when you guys joined Moose in taking down Crete? You did what was necessary at the time to get the job done, right?

Spin - ...

OBJ - That's not exactly how it came together and really has nothing to do with anything. Are you trying to tell me, Davin, if it were you defending the World Title and Team Aquafina came out got you intentionally disqualified so you could keep the belt... you'd have no problem?

DM - Of course I'd have a problem. Hell, I'd be royally pissed. But given the circumstances I'd get over it. I can not emphasize this enough. We are at war.

Spin - That is not an answer.

DM - ... It's going to have to do. Give me a call when he has calmed down.

<Moreland exits>

Mags - ... I want to go apologize to Stank.

Spin - I fucking hate this, man.

OBJ - This war has got us all screwed up.

Mags - I'm going in.

OBJ - No. Just wait. Give the man some time to cool off. Then all three of us will go.

[Deleted]

Mags, OBJ and Spin leave the dressing room to go get something to eat and let Stank cool off...in the darkened corner of the hall a figure stands alone...a few minutes later we see the figure walk into the dressing room...

Stank: "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Seamus: "Easy, big man...I'm just a jobber, you got nothing to fear..."

Stank: "I am not in the mood"

Seamus: "War is a funny thing and these people can't even begin to understand real war...it's really insulting...this little pissing match is not war...it's a conflict of egos..."

Stank: "Do you have a point or you just here to piss me off?"

Seamus: "What do you win if you become what you hate? Why do you allow your enemy to dictate the rules of engagement..."

Stank: "You need to leave"

Seamus:"Ok Champ...let me know when you want to talk...you know I never took you for a sheep...one of the principles of war is know the objective...stay true to that objective...tell me Stank what is the goal with this war? Why is everyone drawn into this...what do you win?...What do you lose"

Stank: "Seamus...I'm losing my..."

Seamus: "Whoa, big fella I'm leaving...good match..."

Seamus exits the locker room and we have several smashes...

[Fire-Babe]

Morning in Omsk. The sun rises in the DEA hotel suites as Alexis wanders around the common area. Doesn't look like she's had much sleep.

Firewoman and Jericho emerge from Firewoman's room.

CJ: I'll go get some coffee from Ric's shop. You need anything else?

FW: Ball bat? Some gasoline?

CJ: You're in enough trouble. Coffee it is. [He looks over towards Alexis] Anything for you?

LD: I'm fine.

CJ: Okay. [waits] You're welcome.

[Jericho leaves. Firewoman sits down on the sofa.]

LD: So.... you left the arena right after the match.

FW: I did. Chris took me back here, got me some ice for that punt to the head from The Dead.

LD: Oh. [Long awkward pause] I kind of waited for you.

FW: Oh...uh, why?

LD: Well we've.... We've been going out after shows lately, and I just figured we were going to....

FW: Well, gee Lexie, what with my possible concussion I didn't think that loud Euro-trash music would be the best possible antidote..... ouch... it hurts to talk loudly....

LD: Oh...right, well we could have done something else....

FW: Besides for whatever reason, Bennett did go to the trouble of flying my lover in to the middle of nowhere, and I probably won't get to see him for another 3 or 4 months, if that, so I kinda wanted to spend some time with him.

LD: [her expression darkening considerably] Yeah, fine. I get it okay? Forget I said anything. You need to get packed.

FW: Already done, remember? [Looks closely at Lexie] You know, jealousy doesn't become you [but she says it with out any of the teasing or sarcasm with which she usually says it.]

LD: I am not jealous.

FW: You're right. You only stayed up half the night, probably pacing, because I chose to hang with Jericho instead of you. You always do this Lex. Just because someone is nice to you doesn't mean...

LD: Stop. Right there.

FW: It's just like before...You made all these assumptions instead of just--

LD: I SAID STOP!! [She picks up a lamp and crashes it to the floor.

The noise brings Alexander Darling sleepily out of his room, at about the time Jericho returns with the coffee.]

AD: What the heck?

FW: I did NOT do it.

[Alexis looks at the mess and composes herself back to business-as-usual Alexis Darling.]

LD: We'll have someone clean that up. Firewoman I have your assignment for next week. I think you'll find it interesting.

[She shoves it into Firewoman's hands and stalks out of the room]

FW: What? This doesn't make any sense.

CJ: Go get your stuff. I'll take you to the train station. What is it like a 12 day ride? [He hands her her coffee]

FW: Something like that. [She takes a sip and then spits it out] Goddammit Chris, this is ice cold. Thanks a lot.

[Firewoman tosses the cup into the trash and exits, leaving Jericho and Alexander to glare at each other.]

[Concrete TG]

(Jericho walks into Ric's sandwich shop and spots Concrete at a table, a half-eaten breakfast wrap next to him as he types away on his laptop)

Y2J: Soory about your little beatdown after your match. You ok?

CTG: I've had a lot worse (typing away) I'm trying to get the settlement wired out. Fire might not be able to get it til she gets back to the states.

Y2J: Yeah, and speaking of travel....

CTG: Is she ok? I understand she finally got HER boot to the head....

Y2J: I was gonna ask you about taking off at Wrestlemania. Man, that was NOT the day to leave! you could have left the day before, the day after, Valentine's day, Summer Solstice or Vince McMahon's birthday, but the DAY OF WRESTLEMANIA?

CTG: In the long run you might thank me, Lionheart

Y2J: ?

CTG: You're right - I didn't deserve the spot I was handed or the opportunities laid before me. My bigger concern, however, was that my general manager was in mortal danger - beyond that of typical "Mortal danger" of a great storyline-

Kayfabe: (Glares at them before returning to her coffee)

CTG: *ahem* his life was at risk thanks to my eternal rival and there was no other day to leave. I may have destroyed any chance of going back Up North ever (grin) e-e-e-e-ee-ever agayn, but my spot's open there for the taking

Y2J: Taken? Yeah - John Cena took it

CTG: dammit

Y2J: (Shrugs) I got the Highlight reel back and the IC Title - consolation prizes.

CTG: (nods to the cups Jericho's carrying) her coffee is getting cold. I'm sorry it happened this way, Lionheart.

Y2J: (shrugs) happens. hope you got riot gear this week

CTG: Against Eric again? I've been in touch with some of my allies, perhaps this time it won't be so severe.

(the two nod to each other and Jericho departs. CTG returns to his laptop to read an email. He grins, nods to the laptop and finishes his breakfast, the email apparently giving him some confidence).

[Jack Quinn]

<Jericho is walking down the hall when he comes across Moosehead Jack and LJ Bennett talking>

CJ: You must be LJ Bennett

LBJ: Indeed I am

CJ: Which makes you that asshat Moosehead Jackass

MHJ: You're a long way from home pretty boy. Keep up that bullshit and you will need someone to save you

CJ: if it wasn't for this ridiculously hot, insanely expensive coffee in my hands, I just might have to do something about it jackass

MHJ: That's OOWF coffee, and I just saw the last promo, its getting cold. You wanna go Metro Man? Lets go

CJ: Hey, just because I have the class not to shop at the Salvation Army, I mean look at you, do you dress in the dark?

Voltage: He has a single light bulb

<Moose heartpunches Voltage. Voltage falls>

MHJ: That felt good

CJ: You guys are weird as hell here

LJB: Mr. Jericho, I know you have to leave us soon, was there something I can help you with?

CJ: Yeah, but not in front of AntlelopeFace Joe here

MHJ: Moosehead Jack asshole

LJB: Moose, why don't you go and see if Muerte has made it to Japan yet, no reason for there to be an incident with a WWE guy

<Moose walks off>

LJB: Now, Mr. Jericho, what can I do for you?

CJ: Well, I tried to talk to the man in charge around here, but they told me he was back in the states not paying for stuff or something. Then there was some woman, Spirlena, Kimona Wannalaya or something, she didn't really seem to know what was going on, they I tried someone named Davin, but all he did was ask me about Cena, then I found something called Ecosystem, but he seemed confused, so finally they told me to come to you.

LJB: I could have saved you a lot of trouble, those others you mentioned are still trying to fill the position of a feeble man, they are matching his ability quite nicely. Anyway, what is it you wanted to talk about?

CJ: Well, this trip to Japan. It really has Firewoman stressed out

LJB: Yes I am quite aware of that. But everyone has something in their past that they are concerned about, there comes a time when we have to face those fears so we can move forward

CJ: Not me Jack

LJB: Really?

CJ: I got nothing to hide, I have ALWAYS been the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla and one SEXY BEAST!

LJB: I thought you might say that. Take a look at this

<Jericho takes the pic and his jaw drops>

CJ: WHERE DID YOU GET THIS! THIS IS AN OBVIOUS FORGERY!!! YOU ARE TRYING TO BESMIRCH MY GOOD NAME!

LJB: Now, unless my eyes deceive me, this is Chris Jericho rocking the mullet.

CJ: NO!!!! I NEVER......

LJB: Chris, its ok, you're Canadian. It was cool to rock the mullet in Canada well into the 2000's, you have faced your past and now you can move on

CJ: I ....I......I guess you are right. I mean its out there now, there's no way I can deny it. I have to face it and take the consequences of my actions. You're right, I feel better. Its like a huge burden has been lifted off of my shoulders

LJB: And Fire will feel the same way. This will be cathartic for her, and not nearly as dangerous for her as she may thing

CJ: What about Darling?

LJB: I make no promises for him.

CJ: Fair enough. So she is going

LJB: I am afraid so

CJ: Well I think I will break it to her, she may take it a little easier coming from me

LJB: Good idea, she doesn't need another million dollar fine

CJ: No, but maybe Darling does

Both: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

<awkward silence follows, then the two men go their separate ways>

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

*As Jericho is walking, he finds his path blocked by a man wearing a robe and a pointed hat, carrying a staff.*

CJ: What do you want, junior?

Man: I heard your coffee is getting cold.

CJ: Does every assclown in this promotion know about my coffee getting cold?

Man: I could cast a spell to warm it up. I am the Evil Wizard! I will happily enchant your beverage, if you will take me to Ted Dibiase.

CJ: I don't think so. Besides, Killer Khan is sneaking up behind you right now.

EW: Ha! You wish to trick me! Fool! I am the great and all-powerful Evil Wizard!

*Killer Khan comes up behind Evil Wizard and nails him with the Asiatic Spike. The Evil Wizard may be dead.*

CJ: Thanks.

KK: No problem. Could you direct me to the Destroyitarium? I hear an old friend is in town.

[salmonjunkie]

Old school promo by Donovan Viper

"Alexander Darling. You've made quite a name for yourself in the short time you've been here. You're already the Intercontinental Champion. You're the second richest guy in this company, next to my benefactor, F. Fonzworth McCappington III. And you've already formed a group of capable wrestlers to ally yourself with. I'm impressed. But the most impressive feat of all. You beat me, Donovan Viper.

But hey, kudos, to you man. That was my fault for taking you lightly. I've got that problem, see. Anyone new who comes to the OOWF, I pretty much ignore. Mostly because I can. I'm that good you see. But I underestimated you, Darling. And because I did, you capitalized. You beat me, in the middle of the ring, pinned my damn shoulders to the mat, and there was no looking back. You beat me, then you formed your little stable, then you became IC Champ. If I was at my A-game that day, I can tell you right now, you wouldn't have your stable, you wouldn't have had that belt, and you probably wouldn't even have a career. Alexander Darling. Without me, you'd be nothing. And now, I want to cash in. I want that Interconinental Championship.

Never mind this Rick/Bennett war we're having. You'd better be concentrating on me. Donovan Viper. We're having our own little war. Alexander Darling, I made you. And this week at Mayhem, I'm going to break you."

[Tommy]

*Davin Moreland, Phantos and Lucios are all in the Run DLP Stateroom, Presented by Stolichnaya. Davin is doing paperwork, Lucios is watching Flair/Steamboat '82 (from Japan) and is practicing his palm thrusts. Phantos and Emma are sitting across the room playing with Spirios, and Phantos has the goofy engineer's hat on.*


P: WHOO WHOOOOOOOOOOOO

L: Keep it DOWN!

P: Aww Man. You're never any fun.

L: I'm plenty of fun.

E: Yeah, sure.

L: I AM!

DM: Not so much, Lucios. You haven't been any fun since the last time we went to Harrisonburg.

P: Ix-nay on the Arrisonburg-Hay...

E: Something ELSE you forgot?

P: No it's...HEY! HE'S GIVING YOU HIS PAW!

E: He's been doing that for like a month now.

P: There's a lot you don't know about me.

E: That doesn't even make sense.

P: WHOOOOO WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DM: Jiminy fucking Christmas.

*Smokey jumps on the desk-y thing and sits right on top of the paperwork.*

DM: I guess I'm done with that?

Smokey: Meow.

DM: Fine. *he starts petting the cat* P-dawg, can you grab me a beer?

P: *gets one out of the mini-fridge* You're drinking a lot lately.

DM: Yeah.

P: Why?

DM: Because go fuck yourself, that's why.

P: I hate when you do that.

DM: Well, what? You don't want to hear my tale of woe.

P: Why not?

DM: Cause you'll ADD out in about 4.1 seconds.

P: Nooo...I'm better now

DM: Yah...Since when?

P: Since I met Emma. Got me to see a doctor and everything. Lucios doesn't even know.

DM: I didn't kn...never mind. You're not saying that again.

*Phantos grins*

P: So? You gonna talk or what?

DM: Well, what? I'm the Asst. GM of a company that's going to shit; it's my responsibility to go and get my ass kicked by 12 people after every match it seems. There's something here I'm not doing right.

P: Well, one is hanging out with the Darlings.

DM: Dar-LING. One. And I'm not doing that anymore.

P: Riiiight..

DM: I'm not Phantos. It complicates things way too much. If things were different, then maybe; but now? Strictly business from here on out. Has to be that way.

P: Does SHE know this?

DM: I thought I made it pretty clear.

P: I mean is she OK with it?

DM: Who knows?

P: Are you?

DM: I don't have a choice.

P: Davin, you can't MAKE yourself feel something.

DM: Sure you can, if you try hard enough.

P: Davin...

DM: What? What do you want me to tell you? I've got a lot on my mind, a lot I have to get done, and I don't need any distractions; never mind a distraction of that proportion.

P: So, what are you saying?

DM: I wrestle. I do paperwork, and I get Team OOWF in-line.

P: ALL RIGHT!

DM: Phantos, I need you guys to help me.

P: Help, how?

DM: If someone from Team OOWF is in trouble; no matter who they are, we have to help. And by we I mean DLP.

P: I'll help. I'll talk to Lucios, but I bet he will too.

DM: Even if that means Bunny.

P: WHAT?!!??!

DM: Yeah. Even if it's Bunny, you have to help.

P: I hate that guy...bunny...guy...

DM: We don't all have to like each other, but we all have to work together. Hey, you still remember how to take dictation?

P: Duh, obviously, I only have my Associate's in it.

DM: Go get some paper.

*Phantos returns with a Staples legal pad and a pen*

P: Staples too, huh?

DM: Natick, MA, is their headquarters. I pretty much have Massachusetts companies on lockdown at this point.

P: So anyway - the dictation. You want this on the AGM stationary?

DM: No. This is a memo to all the workers, but not from me as AGM - from me representing Team OOWF.

P: We should call Staples and have them make stationary for THAT now.

DM: S'pose you're right. Anyway, you ready?

P: Whenever you are.

DM:

Dear OOWF Worker,

As you may know, we have reached a crisis point in our company. Some of us have forgotten where we came from and what we stand for; and have decided to terrorize the rest of us who aren't looking for the promise of card placement based on nothing but glorified nepotism.

As you well know, those of you who choose to stay loyal to the OOWF will continue to get the treatment you received prior to this sordid turn of events. Card placement will be based on one thing - performance. Performance is defined as several things: in-ring work; fan associations and mic work. In other words, if you bring it in the ring, and you make the fans care about you - and you take care of business on the mic - you'll do well.

This brings me to the issue at hand. Some of you choose to stay "uncommitted". For a long while that was acceptable, however that position is now untenable. Both sides of this conflict are at the point of "If you're not with us, you're against us". That's been the case with the traitors all along, but unfortunately, it's now the case of Team OOWF as well. If you're not with us, you're against us. Be advised that action can and will be taken against anyone who remains "neutral" at any time, for any purpose.

For those of you already with Team OOWF, and are concerned about methodology at this point; that thinking must end. The traitors will take the OOWF by force, and by any means necessary. Unless we are willing to defend the OOWF with the same veracity, we are doomed to failure. Defend yourself, by any means necessary.

Team Traitor, you are on notice of this change in philosophy. Don't expect the same old, same old anymore. Because gentlemen? This shit is ON.

Sincerely,
Davin Moreland

P: I can have that out in 15 minutes or so.

DM: Thanks man.

P: What are you gonna do now?

DM: Finish my beer and take a nap.

P: That's a good course of action, boss.

DM: Phantos, you're the boss of DLP. We did that for a reason.

P: Fine, then when you leave the room, I'll call you boss.

DM: I'm not calling you boss, ever.

P: Aww man.

Spirios: BARK!

Smokey: Meow.

*fade*

[Road Warrior Shark]

A Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist stands, microphone at the ready at the OOWF Interview location at the Bor-Ondor Civic Arena.

RNSFJ: Ladies and Gentlemen, Former World Tag Team Champions, Phantos and Lucios!

(Lucios, Phantos & Spirios come into view.)

Phantos: Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo Nurse!

RNSFJ: (Blushing) Thank you. This week, you two take on The Heels. DO you have any thoughts about facing your rivals?

Lucios: Rivals? I would hardly condsider The Heels rivals. They were the missing link, the one team we hadn't been able to say we put behind us. So we pushed for their re-instatement. We suffered their sneak attacks and cheap shots. We HAD THEM BEATEN, when Bennett's pet referee came in and screwed things up. As far as we are concerend, Alan, Johnny, This week is a re-start of Fall #3 from Madness.

Phantos: Once we beat you this week, Thats it. We're done with you once and for all, You can go back to Reno, Barbados, Tampa, wherever washed-up has-beens go to die. Go back to telling stories about your supposed travels. Go win an imaginary tournament in Las vegas. Just go.

Spirios: BARK!!!

Lucios: What he said.

(fade)

[wld]

**SFJ#27 catches up with L.D. Williams, who’s training. Williams glares at her, then finally walks over.**

LD: “What?”

SFJ#27: “Your match with Stank last week-”

LD: “Is irrelevant. Stank gave me his best, and D&D did what they had to do.”

SFJ#27: “But it looked like you had the match won.”

LD: “I did. All Stank and I have ever asked for is one match. One on one. No countouts, no disqualifications, no interference, and no gimmicks. May the best man win. Rick wouldn’t give it to us, Bennett isn’t giving it to us, and that joke of a GM coalition isn’t giving it to us. Sooner or later it’ll happen. Neither of us will be satisfied until it does.”

**SFJ#27 starts to speak, but Williams glares at her and she stops.**

LD: “One more thing. I saw your little memo, Moreland. Mistake. Let me make something clear. It doesn’t matter if Rick’s in charge, or Bennett, or you and your crew of misfits – I AM THE OOWF. I have been here since day one – I have never left, and I have never missed a show. There are three men in this company who can say that, who have sweat, and bled and EARNED everything they have – and you’re not one of them. For all that you think you’ve accomplished, for all that you want to be ‘the leader’, you don’t have a clue. Play your games with Cole, and Moose, and Alex – enjoy your so-called power. Sooner or later, you’re going to get in the ring with me you sad son of a bitch, and it will be the last match of your career. I promise you Moreland, you will rue the day that you called me a Traitor.”

SFJ#27: “-”

LD: “Get lost. Now.”

[Tommy]

*Davin Moreland is still on the train when a porter comes by*

DM: Hey you!

P: Me?

DM: Yeah, I need a plot device.

P: Um..ok, what do I have to do?

DM: Simple, pretend you have a microphone and say "Did you hear LD Williams recent comments"

P: Did you hear LD Williams recent comments?

DM: I did plot device, and I'll tell ya, something's got him awfully chatty. Mistake? Me? Power? You've obviously not been paying attention Williams, and that's understandable, what with Stank kicking your ass week in and week out, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm not in it for power, I'm in it for doing things the right way.

You give your little boring "I've been here since dirt was invented" speech and make it seem like you give a rat's ass about anyone but yourself. You think you'd get unlimited title shots if things were running normally? Hell. No. You're taking advantage of Bennett's nepotism just like everyone of you misguided traitors supporting him.

You just spent your longest promo, probably ever, essenitally, at best, contradicting yourself, and at worst, lying your sorry ass off. And you think you can intimidate me Williams, you got the wrong damned huckleberry. Ain't nothing you can do to me that hasn't already been done. Besides, I'm really supposed to be intimidated by Moose's bitch? Congratulations on creating your career around that. Career Highlights: Was Moose's Bitch.

If you want to "go" Williams say the word, I'm just itchin to get my hands on you again. Just let your pal Cole get embarrassed in four straight here and we'll see if we can't do something about it.

And just remember Williams. We've fought once. I'm 1-0.

....

....

Alright plot device. Bounce.

*Porter leaves*

*fade*

[Concrete TG]

(Davin is relaxing on the train as someone approaches and places the letter on the table)

Davin: ....and?

CTG: I'd like to say we're on the same page. I know we're not getting along, but we need to start uniting our front.

DM: (looking CTG over) So when do we break out the fancy capes, rainbow masks and the "Mighty Heroes" Music?

CTG: If it gets Rick back into power.....

DM: (Glare)

CTG: (smirks) there's no need for it right now, Davin. We've got more important things to do. We've got people to rally, and we need to get our front united.

DM: Heard from Rick?

CTG: Maybe. I did get some good news in my email today.

DM: (kicks out a chair) let's talk.

[Deleted]

Alexander Darling opens door to his private suite of the DEA boxcar and before he can turn on the lights notices the orange glow of a cigar as it glows to cast an eerie glow around the face of Seamus McNasty

AD: “First of all put that fucking thing out you’re stinking up my room and second of all what the fuck are you doing here?”

Seamus: “Damn why is everyone so wound up?….Zander I came to talk, see how your doing…we never really talk”

AD: “Un-huh”

Seamus: “Look I got no beef with you; we have crossed paths but no blood, no foul…”

AD: “So we’re hanging out, going fishing, playing guitar hero, should we buy BFF heart charms…what the fuck do you want?”

Seamus: “Hey now why you so pissy with me?”

AD: “What is your game?”

Seamus: “Twister?”

AD: “What?”

Seamus: “Break the ice?”

AD: “Excuse me?”

Seamus: “Trivia Pursuit?”

AD “Ok Out!”

Seamus; “ Ok, hey I just stopped by to say I know Japan is coming up and you and DEA may find yourselves with your back against the wall…I just want you to know BAD could be paid to help with personal security…”

AD: “Why would I pay the fox to watch the hen house?”

Seamus: “YOU know why…get ready…”


Seamus walks away whistling that same fucking tune…

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

*Outback Jack And Killer Khan are walking and drinkinkg beer when they run into LD Williams, who looks ready to go*

OBJ: Take it easy, mate.

LDW: I figured you'd be after me.

OBJ: Not a bad guess. But Stank wants a clear shot at you himself.

LDW: I guess that's no surprise.

OBJ: Just a hint, though. In case you and Moose want to relive old times, Killer has taught me how to do the Asiatic Spike.

KK: Outback Jack old friend. Me teach him spike real good! Hope Momma-san not upset!

LDW: Don't tell me...

OBJ: No worries, mate. They had a strictly platonic relationship

LDW: Oh, great.

[salmonjunkie]

Apr 17, 2008 19:18:50 GMT -5 wld said:

There are three men in this company who can say that, who have sweat, and bled and EARNED everything they have – and you’re not one of them.

***OOC***

They're LD Williams, Moosehead Jack, and Outback Jack, correct?

[wld]

**OOC**

That's who I was thinking of - I remember somebody mentioning it a few months ago, and I thought it made for a good line...

[rabbxt]

**Bunny is on the train, clearly excited about his match with Ryan Hardcore on Wednesday.**



**He glances to his left and sees one of the scariest things imaginable to poor little Bunny.**



**Bunny freaks out and screams. He runs from the coyote and climbs out the window. He pulls himself onto the top of the train and knows that the coyote must be destroyed. Bunny hops around and causes the friction from his Bunny feet to start a fire.**



**Too busy setting the train on fire to kill the evil coyote, Bunny doesn't notice the tunnel coming up in 3.. 2.. SMASH! The train continues on, still flaming, leaving a trail of smoke behind. Bunny is clearly knocked out.**



**When he eventually comes to, he realizes that the OOWF train is long gone. He panics, but tells himself to calm down. A quick glance to the right reveals his way to Bor-Ondor.**

[Deadly]

**OOC

Exalt for Bunny!

[Fire-Babe]

OOC: That's awesome!!!

I would like to point out, Firewoman had NOTHING to do with that fire, either.

[Tommy]

Ex-fucking-alt Bunny. That was awesome

[Tommy]

*Davin Moreland leaves the Run DLP Locker Room, presented by Aquafina and heads to the GM's Office at the Bor-Ondor Arena and Convocation Center*

DM: *opens the door without looking* Hey Erlana. Hey Eco.

*silence (tm Cheerleader Melissa)*

DM: *finally looks up* Erl....What in the BLUE FUCK are you doing here?

V: Now calm down.

DM: Calm down? CALM DOWN?!?!? FUCK you Rick. FUCK you and the horse you rode in on. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but you've left me holding the bag for more than a FUCKING MONTH while you're at home with a god damned boo-boo.

GMtR: That's not fair, Davin.

DM: FUCK YOU not fair. Have you seen? Have you watched? Have you even given a shit? You've got a lot of balls to show up here. There's a line of people who'd like to kick your ass.

GMtR: I'm sure.

DM: Oh nonononononono...You have no FUCKING idea. It's not the people you think. It's the people from the former "Team Rick" who'd like to lay you the fuck out. And I'm first in motherfucking line.

GMtR: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

DM: Or else what? What are you gonna do? Fire me? I'M ALREADY FIRED!

*Ric pokes his head in the door and gives Davin a dirty look.*

DM: Oh, Sorry Ric. Got a little carried away there.

R: WHOOOOOOOOO *he leaves*

GMtR: No, I wouldn't do that because you need me.

DM: Fuck you. We've done just fine without you. In fact, why don't you fucking leave and we'll go back to doing just fine without you.

GMtR: I can't let that happen Davin.

DM: You've got yourself a real credibility problem right now.

GMtR: I realize that. I need to address everyone.

DM: You gonna bring bodyguards?

GMtR: Davin, I understand you're angry.

DM: No Rick, I don't think you understand the degree to which I'm pissed off at you.

GMtR: Fine.

DM: IT'S NOT FUCKING FINE! STOP SAYING ITS FINE!

GMtR: What the fuck do you want Davin? I'm sorry. I used the time away to re-evaluate how I was doing things and I realize that I need to change if we're gonna pull through this.

DM: Good for you Rick. Now if you'll kindly go fuck yourself, I'll be on my way.

GMtR: No Davin. I still need you in here.

DM: Fuck. You. I quit.

GMtR: You can't do that. Your AGMs job is now tied to your performer's contract.

DM: Since when?

GMtR: Since this morning.

*Davin lunges a Rick, who dodges him*

GMtR: I REALLY wouldn't do that.

DM: Fuck y...you put a non-contact clause in too, didn't you.

GMtR: Uh huh.

DM: Asshole.

GMtR: 90 Days unpaid suspension after the Japan Show for the first offense, 180 days for the second offense, and termination for the third. Same goes for every other worker. No contact on me.

DM: Way to insulate yourself Alexander.

GMtR: Huh?

DM: Nothing. Someone got it.

GMtR: Speaking of that, what's this I hear about you and...

DM: NOTHING!

GMtR: You've been spending an awful lot of..

DM: Rick I swear to CHRIST I will deck you. We're friends. That's it. And now we're not even that, because I'M too busy SAVING YOUR SORRY ASS EVERY DAY!

GMtR: Thank you.

DM: Fuck off.

GMtR: You're still mad?

DM: No Rick, everything's all better, I'm glad we had this little talk.

GMtR: Sarcasm's not one of your better traits.

DM: What a shame.

GMtR: I need you. Here. You have to help. I appreciate all you've done, but we're only halfway there. We have to come together as a unit if we're gonna pull this off.

DM: And you're going to have to do a lot of work to convince people you're part of "we".

GMtR: That's where you're gonna help.

DM: No Rick. That's where I draw the line. I'll do the job. I won't kick your ass. I'm on your side; but if YOU want to get these people back in your good graces YOU are going to have to do the legwork. Not me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go hit something.

*he leaves*

*fade*

[Fire-Babe]

The OOWF chartered train (?) meanders its way through central Asia. Firewoman leaves the DEA private car and makes her way back to the car that has a sign on it, handwritten, that says "Run DLP Car." She takes a deep breath....and knocks.

V: Come in.

Firewoman opens the door. Davin Moreland is sitting at a make-shift desk with AGM-related papers scattered about. With each lurch of the train, papers shift and occasionally fall to the floor.

DM: Dammit. Oh, it's you.

FW: I can come back if this is a bad time.

DM: It's always a bad time. Have a seat. Want some coffee?

FW: Sure.

DM: What can I do for you?

FW: Well, I wanted to talk to you about Jap--

DM: Don't even finish that sentence. If I hear one more word about--

FW: No wait... I wanted to explain the ... situation.

DM: [Sits back for a moment, as he mulls this over.] Okay. But it's not going to change anything.

FW: Well....it might.

DM: Okay, well, give it a shot, then.

FW: [taking another deep breath] Okay. Well, this isn't just about me. This could be about the entire OOWF. When we go through customs in Japan, there's a good chance there's a warrant waiting for me.

DM: Do they even have those there?

FW: I'm sure they have something similar. Anyway.... Lexi...er, Alexis and I had an argument in the locker room one day. Things got.. .well, out of hand. Especially on my part. Although for the record, she did start it.

DM: Of course she did. You never start anything, right?

FW: ANYWAY, one thing led to another and she ended up kind of unconscious.

DM: Ended up? You are the queen of the passive voice. People don't just 'end up unconscious' any more than they 'end up' being set on fire.

FW: WHATEVER. Can you please let me get through this? I'm trying to trust you here.

DM: Fine. Continue.

FW: So I was arrested for aggravated assault, or whatever their equivalent is. I was never good at translation. But then I left Japan before my court date and...

DM: And so you think they'll arrest you. Got it.

FW: After what happened in Finland, you all don't need any more bad publicity from me, even though that was totally self-defense. If I hadn't intervened, Lex...Alexis could have been seriously hurt.

DM: Yes, we did look into that. I'm sorry we didn't believe you at first. But your track record....

FW: I understand.

DM: [sighing]. Okay, I appreciate you coming here to be straight with me. I know how hard it probably is for you to do that. And while I'm not sure I'm buying your whole "For the good of OOWF" angle, I also appreciate the 'heads up.'

FW: So....

Davin shuffles through papers, files, and boxes that are within his reach. He finally picks one up and opens it.

DM: See this? This is your file. It includes a background check. We already knew about your locker room fight with Alexis Darling, and the resulting charges.

FW: Oh....uh....

DM: Know what else we know? Alexis dropped the charges.

FW: What? [Firewoman is clearly surprised]

DM: Some time after you disappeared from the Japan wrestling scene. No explanation. Alexander walked her in and she dropped them. So no court dates, no warrants, nothing.

FW: There's... there's nothing else?

DM: [scanning the papers in the file folder] Nope. Nothing. Unless there's something else you haven't mentioned.

uncomfortable silence

DM: Fire....if there's something else we need to know, now is the time to come clean. Because I can't believe that all this is over a slapfight in a locker room.

FW: No... no, if that's what the file says, then, that's it.

DM: [Looking at Firewoman as if he's fairly certain she's lying.] Okay then. There's no problem. You can stop lighting personnel on fire and dying your hair and whatever else you thought of, because there's not an issue.

Uncomfortable silence.

DM: I'm asking you one more time. That's everything?

FW: Yeah. That's all I came to say.

DM: Okay. Now, we can chat later if you want, but I really need to get some of these ratings projections done.

FW: Yeah. No problem. See you around.

Firewoman leaves and walks back down the aisle to the DEA car. She enters, and Alexis is flipping bored through a magazine. She barely acknowledges Firewoman's entrance, until Firewoman sits down and looks up at the ceiling.

LD: So?

FW: Why didn't you tell me the charges were dropped?

LD: Alexander took care of all that. I completely forgot about it.

FW: Uh huh. That was all that was in my background check.

Alexis stops looking at her magazine and stares at Firewoman, suddenly interested in what she has to say.

LD: That's good right? That means they...

FW: For someone who ran with the crowd you ended up with, you're still pretty naive and clueless. That means "they" decided to not go through official channels and handle it "themselves" if they ever got a chance.

LD: Oh.........OH!

FW: Yeah.....Oh.

[Concrete TG]

(GM the Rick is settling in and rubbing his face, tired from the journey to catch up with his people. He looks up as a brand new bottle of whiskey clunks on his desk)

GMtR: ?

CTG: welcome back, Rick.

GMtR: Shouldn't I be saying that to you?

CTG: Maybe. I'm just glad you're all right.

GMtR: looks like things are only getting worse, here

CTG: you could say that. I didn't get a warm welcome

GMtR: I'm sure you heard Moreland......

CTG: If it helps, we're both in your corner

GMtR: and it's taking a fucking NO-CONTACT clause from one of my "Allies" from kicking my ass.

CTG: That's not my M.O.

GMtR: Surprised you're not even considering it, given your circumstances.....

CTG: the ones who really made me do that are Moose and Cole. Cole, I've taken care of business. Moose, I think I was a little....overzealous

GMtR: You didn't break his arm completely, so does that mean you pulled it?

CTG: Don't even joke, Rick. Thanks to that injury, my mission with Moose--

GMtR: Needs to STAY on hold til this business with Bennett is done and over with. I know you're with me, Potsie, but you need to look at a much bigger picture.

CTG: .....

GMtR: (opens the whiskey) this will help me for now. Meantime, don't you have a match to prepare for?

CTG: Eric and everyone working for Bennett?

GMtR: ... That'll get worked on

CTG: ....

GMtR: Humor me, Crete....

CTG: Sir?

GMtR: I'm glad you're back, I'm glad we've had this little talk, now GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!!

[Jobber Blitz]

*Blitz and Voltage are sitting in the train’s bar, lamenting their recent string of losses.*

B: I’m telling you, if we were part of that round robin, we’d be on our way to the OOWF Tag Titles.

V: But dude, we’ve lost 3 times now in under 10 minutes. Against teams who are in the round robin.

B: It’s all about psychology, Volt. Remember that.

V: ???

*The Nerve Agent enters the room and goes to sit at the other end of the bar. Blitz goes over and sits next to Nerve, and Voltage follows suit.*

TNA: Are we supposed to be socializing? Didn’t I turn on you and destroy you within seconds in a steel cage a few months ago?

B: Well, since you have no crowd reaction, I guess we can say you’re a tweener now. And faces are allowed to mix with tweeners.

TNA: You 2 are faces?

B: I think so.

TNA: Shouldn’t you be saving the OOWF from Bennet and Moose then? I think all the babyfaces are on Team Rick’s side.

B: The Rick has no history with us. Moose has no history with us. We don’t have any obligation towards either of the teams.

V: Actually, Moose just heartpunched me.

B: Now let’s not get petty, Volt. I’m sure he didn’t mean it.

TNA: Now I see that Moreland sent out a memo. Threatening all of us who stay neutral that we’ll be attacked if we don’t join them. Tell me, who else is still undecided in this war?

B: BAD, Mark Vander, Beast and The Amnesiac.

V: So are we just going to stand aside and watch, or choose a side?

B: Well, Nerve here obviously isn’t going to promo anytime soon, so we can safely assume, he won’t be choosing a side soon. As for us? Let’s just say that if either of the teams dare attack us, we’ll jump to the other side.

V: Didn’t Eric O’Mac and Attitude Adjuster beat you up just last week?

B: Promo purposes, Volt my boy. And it didn’t have anything to do with this war.

TNA: So you’re staying neutral?

B: I’ll sit here and watch the shitstorm unfold. I might enjoy my Viper Buttplugs. It’s not my business.

TNA: They say the apathy of the German public caused the Holocaust.

B: Then so it will be.