[Jack Quinn]

OOWF Blood on the Great Wall
Live! From Beijing, China

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Steel Cage Match[/u]
Stank vs. LD Williams

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Alexander Darling vs. Donovan Viper vs. Capellan

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Bunny vs. Winner of the Six Man Match

OOWF Round Robin Tag Team Tournament[/u]
Phantos & Lucios (2-1) vs. BAD (1-2)
The Heels (1-2) vs. IHOP (2-1)

Best of Seven Series Match 3: Davin Moreland Leads 2-0[/u]
Davin Moreland vs. Chris Cole

Winner Gets an Onslaught Title Shot Tonight[/u]
Firewoman vs. Beast vs. Amnesiac vs. The Dead vs. Outback Jack vs. Tyson Kincaid

Loser Wears a Chicken Outfit[/u]
The Nerve Agent vs. Mark Vander vs. Ryan Hardcore vs. Carl From Fresno

Eric O'Mac vs. Concrete TG
F. Fonzworth MacCappington vs. Ecosystem
The Midnight Sons vs. Blitz & Voltage

Card subject to civil liberty violations

[Fire-Babe]

DEA suites. Firewoman is going out to celebrate her win, dressed to kill...well, figuratively speaking this time...

AD: Do you think that's wise?

FW: Better than hanging around here watching you mope.

AD: What happened to staying out of sight, staying out of the cross-fire? Take Josh with you...

FW: You're kidding right? Look, your concern is touching, but I just need to go blow off some steam before we get on the plane, maybe find an all-night pharmacy to get my anti-flight-anxiety meds before the flight tomorrow.

AD: An all night pharmacy. In Bor-Ondur Mongolia.

FW: I'm sure they have them.

AD: Oh, I'm not doubting your abilities to find something. Whether it's legal or not...

FW: Hey, you call them "open-air drug markets," I call them "pharmacies." Either way, Josh sticks out like a sore thumb, and then if I do happen to find a place to have a nice drink and meet the locals, he scares them off.

AD: Hey, you call it "meet the locals," I call it "random hookups" and "international incidents." I'm not bailing you out again.

LD: [coming in from the other room] Yes you will. Unless you want to have absolutely NO allies at all.

AD: Oh good. The two of you gang up on me. I'm out of here. [He stalks off. Firewoman looks around the room as if she's trying to pinpoint something or look for something.]

LD: We need to talk.

FW: Well hurry it up. I have a date [she emphasizes the word "date" especially for Alexis]

LD: With who?

FW: [Grinning] Don't know yet.... jealous?

LD: Of... of course not. I just thought that... well, since Chris isn't here now, you'd want some company....

FW: So, Davin's busy is he?

LD: Now who's jealous? [smugly]

Firewoman glares at Alexis, who glares back for a moment. Alexis gives up first.

LD: Can we just not? I'm sorry I got mad when Jericho was here, and that I skipped our da-

FW: Forget it. Let's go.

LD: N... Now? I need to change....

FW: You look fine, Barbie...

LD: Can we go back to Lexie? You haven't called me Barbie since Japan.

FW: Whatever. You're right. I think we need to pick up where we left off....I really need you.... DAMMIT, do you not hear that?

LD: Hear what?

FW: Like a thumping noise. Like someone's beating a big drum really slowly. It's been driving me crazy, and I can't seem to figure out where it's coming from.

LD: Did you get punted in the head again?

FW: har har [Yelling into the other room.] AAAaaaaalexxxxxxxx, I'm taking your sister out to a baaaaaaaaar.... Don't wait uuuuuuuuuuuup.....

LD: Do you have to do that?

FW: Yeah. I kind of do.

Alexis and Firewoman leave for parts unknown. Alexander comes out of the other room, scowling, but at what? His loss by DQ? Firewoman's jokes? They were jokes...right? Josh is behind him.

AD: Follow them. And this time, don't let them see you.

JoN: I didn't mean to last time, she's just good at--

AD: I don't care. I can't afford more fines. Keep them out of trouble.

JoN: Sure....one person can do that.....

Alexander turns his scowl towards Josh who makes a hasty exit. He stands in the empty room, looking around. He paces for a few minutes, deep in thought, before finally sitting down on the sofa to flip through a book.

AD: Don't wait up. Why I put up with the things I do.....

Something catches his ear. It's barely audible, but a soft, deep, even sound grazes his eardrums. thump-THUMP. thump-THUMP. thump-THUMP.

He stands up and wanders around the room, looking for the source. As he does, the sound appears to go away. Convinced it was all in his head, he sits back down.

AD: Don't wait up. We'll see about that.

[Deadly]

[The Dead decides to do an old school, one camera promo.]

Dead: Beijing, China. Sunday night. That is the time, that is the place where The Dead finally gets what is rightfully his. The Dead has never been pinned in a title match. The Dead has never been made to submit in a title match. This Sunday The Dead will show the entire world, whether they like it or not, that he is the best damn wrestler in this business.

Dead: So Bunny, you'd better prepare yourself. After The Dead is through destroying Beast, Amnesiac, Outback Jack, Tyson Kincaid, and yes, even Firewoman, Bunny, you're next. Bunny...YOU. ARE. DEAD.

[Fade to black.]

[National Champion Chris Cole]

"The Main Event" Chris Cole & Harper Camby are walking through the backstage area after Mayhem is off the air. Metrosexual Male Journalist #4 walks up

MMJ4: Chris, you are now down 2-0 in your best of seven series with Davin Moreland and he now is 7-0 overall against you. How will you bounce back this weekend at Blood on The Great Wall PPV?

(Cole says nothing. He shoots a look at Harper and pushes past MMJ4. Camby smiles and begins to pummel MMJ4. He finishes with a Dominator then cracks his knuckles and follows Cole down the hallway.)

[salmonjunkie]

The Mobile Fortress of Snobbery currently stationed in a plush area of Beijing.

Lance: Master Viper, there is a guest here to see you.

Viper: Is it just one guest this time or are there a bunch here to bum rush me?

L: Just the one, siir.

DV: Ok, let him in, Jeeves.

L: It's Lance, sir.

DV: Whatever.

Capellan walks in

DV: Hey. You coming here. This is new.

Cap: Nice digs. So this is what you ditched me for. Opulence, wealth. This doesn't really seem like your style, Viper.

DV: So what did you come here for, Cap?

Cap: What you did to Firechild. That was pretty fucked up.

DV: Yeah, it was.

Cap: Why are you doing this, man?

DV: Doing what?

Cap: Being one of these footsoldiers of Bennett's Army. Look at you. You're not even in charge of your own career anymore. You're just tagging along with this... this GANG. And for what? I thought you said the only reason you're in OOWF is for the gold.

DV: It is.

Cap: A lot of good that's done for you. You couldn't get it done against Stank.

DV: And like anyone else has? Give it up the bastard. He's a damn good wrestler. And Hey, I'm fighting for gold this Sunday. In fact, I'm fighting you.

Cap: And I'm supposed to be beneath you...

DV: Man, fuck you. You go toe to toe with the best just like I do. The ONLY reason why I'm not fighting Stank is because as long as he's champion, I can't have a title match. I'll tell you right now, fellow Army member or not, if LD Williams wins the World Championship I will demand my title shot. Hey, what are you looking at?

Cap: Why are there waves in the backyard of the Mobile Fortress of Snobbery?

DV: Oh, Fonz installed one of those big-ass pools that make those waves. I asked for it to be put in.

Cap: You still surf?

DV: Yeah. It's an important part of my training.

Cap: Really?

DV: No joke. I learned it from you.

Cap: Wow. That's... that's pretty cool.

DV: It is.

Cap: Can I?

DV: No.

Cap: Oh, come on!

DV: No.

Cap: Why not? That looks fun!

DV: Because Ryan and Lauren are in there fucking right now.

Cap: Oh. OH! I see. Wow. How do they do that in those waves?

DV: Man, I don't know. If Ryan would train just half the amount of time that he fucked, he might actually be champion. But no. He just fucks. All the damn time. In fact, they've been in that wave pool all fucking day. If I lose this match Sunday because of insufficient training, I'm blaming it on their horny asses.

Cap: Horny asses is right. Damn.

DV: Man, are you just going to stand there and stare all day? Get the hell out of here!

[Demko]

(We catch up with The Amnesiac after Mayhem. He's getting changed, and puts on a t-shirt that says "You just watched me put on a t-shirt. HA HA!" As he's preparing to leave the locker room, he runs into a young man. The kid is running down the hallway, and runs nearly directly into The Amnesiac's legs.)

Amn: Hey... where do you think you're going?

(The kid looks up at him and smiles widely.)

YM: Aren't you... aren't you the wrestler called Ameeshack?

Amn: Um, no... I don't think so. How do you speak such good English here in Mongolia?

YM: Oh, I watch TV. I've learned all about Ryan Seacrest and whatchoo talkin bout Willis.

(The Amnesiac laughs.)

Amn: Where are your parents?

YM: No parents. Just me.

(The Amnesiac's brow furrows.)

Amn: The how do you eat?

(The boy smirks widely.)

YM: Don't you worry about me. I know how to get food.

(The Amnesiac smiles back at him.)

Amn: You ran away from home, didn't ya, kid?

(The young man grins sheepishly.)

YM: Well yes... a few years ago. My parents abused me. I didn't want to deal with it anymore, so I left. I heard that the OOWF was coming to town tonight, and it's so rare that they get to this part of the world, so I thought I'd sneak in to watch the show.

(At this point, a uniformed security officer runs up, out of breath, and yelling in what we can only assume is Mongolian. The Amnesiac holds up a hand to quiet him, but the officer tries to convey his message in broken English.)

SO: Boy run. I catch. Go to jail.

Amn: Now just wait a minute here. This kid is with me.

(The young man smirks up at him, and starts clapping.)

Amn: So you turn your little ass around and walk the other way. I've got this covered.

(At this point, the officer turns, scratches his head, and walks away. The Amnesiac turns to the kid, and sticks out a hand.)

Amn: I'm The Amnesiac.

(The boy shakes the hand proffered.)

YM: I'm Monkh. What's your real name?

Amn: Nevermind that. What's YOUR real name?

Monkh: Actually, my real name IS Monkh.

Amn: Alright... stick with me kid. As long as you don't have any problems travelling to China with me.

Monkh: I've gotten myself a passport since I ran away from home, so let's go.

(The two walk away together as the camera pans out.)

[Jobber Blitz]

*The camera zooms in to show Blitz and Voltage in front of the arena where OOWF Blood on the Great Wall will take place. Blitz and Volt seem to be holding an unofficial press conference, sitting behind a table in front a white screen with Viper Buttplugs printed on it as their official sponsor. An SFJ is in attendance, as well as a small crowd of bystanders that want to see what’s going on.*

B: Yes that’s right, me and my tag team partner Voltage are lodging a complaint against the OOWF for discrimination.

SFJ#432: Based on what?

B: Not cutting enough promos and generally failing to get over with the crowd.

*Most of the crowd seem bored and some are already starting to drift way.*

SFJ#432: But isn’t the entire point of the OOWF cutting good promos?

B: That’s not the point.

SFJ#432: Then what is?

B: The point is that it’s not the point. Next question.

SFJ#432: Davin Moreland sent out a memo to all the OOWF talent that you’ll be judged on mic skills and getting over with the crowd. Now do you…

B: Shut up. I don’t like the way you ask questions. Voltage, interview me.

V: …

B: Anyway, we’re being discriminated against by the OOWF.

B: …

*Someone screams ‘Free Tibet!’ and gets tackled by the police and dragged away.*

B: Okay, I can’t think of anything else to say. Ask me a question.

SFJ#432: So does this mean you’ll be siding with Team Bennet against the OOWF?

B: No, that wouldn’t make any sense. The head booker is on Team Bennet.

*Kayfabe glares at Blitz.*

SFJ#432: But The Defenstrators held the OOWF Tag Titles while Volt wasn’t saying a word. Doesn’t that hurt your case?

B: Well you see, Eco is Asian. So only white guys are being discriminated against.

*A Chinese police offer approaches Blitz and Volt.*

CPO: Sir, are you holding a pro-Tibet demonstration?

B: No.

CPO: Then fuck off.

B: Okay.

*Blitz turns to leave, but Voltage isn’t moving.*

V: Free Tibet!

*The CPO Heartpunches Voltage!*

B: Volt, I think it’s time for us to fuck off.

[Road Warrior Shark]

Inside the Run DLP Aquafina Locker Room....

Phantos: Man, I am Sooooooo amped up for Blood on the Great Wall

Carl: Why? I don't want to wear a chicken suit.

Phantos: Yeah, that will suck for you. Maybe Davin and Luc can get you a sponsorship from KFC or something. But after this Sunday, LIVE! on Pay per view...

(Lucios walsk in the door)

Lucios: We will get back our Double O Double U - F World Tag Team Championships.

Phantos: Right On man!

Carl: How so? If you win, you're 3-1, If IHOP wins, they're 3-1.

Lucios: Common sense says we win via tiebreaker. We pinned IHOP clean.

Carl: Common Sense says I shouldn't have a job.

Phantos: True.

Carl: So lets just say... some miracle occurs and BAD gets a win over you two...

(Lucios gazes intesnly at Carl. Kayfabe perks up and takes notes)

Carl.. I...I...I...I know you are the better team, but you know, What if Team Bennett interferes, bad things happen.... and you lose? Then The Heels beat IHOP. All 5 teams would finish 2-2 and then what happens?

Lucios: (rolling his eyes) That could never happen. That would mean we would have wasted an entire month. The Bookerman isn't that un-creative.

(Kayfabe goes running out of the room, notebook in hand)

Phantos: (putting an arm around Carl) Then we get our championships back another way. Carl, Luc and I have more wins than any other team in the OOWF since the day we got here. We will get our championships back. One way or another. Now lets get the Sony Multimedia Center up and running and Luc can introduce you to the wonderful world of Watching Video Of Your Opponents.

Lucios: Great Idea P-Dawg!

(Davin pokes his head in and stares @ Lucios)

Davin: Since when do you talk like that?

Lucios: There's alot you don't know about me.

(Davin rolls his eyes and leaves)

Spirios: BARK!

Smokey: MEOW!

Emma: Aww, aren't they cute????

[Andy]

In the Mobile Fortress

RH- Jesus Christ, what's happened to me, man? I'm fighting in a loser wears a chicken suit match. Why can't I get any respect around here?

FFM- I guess they want you to promo more?

RH- There's limited fucking time in a day! I'm busy!

FFM- Well after I finish with Eco, maybe we'll do something.

RH- Do what?

FFM- We'll raise your profile a bit. I gave singles wrestling a good shot, and I'm a two-time IC Title holder, but let's be honest, I'm a tag team specialist. Firechild certainly didn't have it, and now he knows he doesn't. Stank did have it and you can see that in his World Title domination. I think you have it, but you haven't had a chance to show it.

LP- He has it and I've seen it.

FFM- We've all fuckin' seen THAT! I don't mean a cock you crazy whore, I mean it. That it factor. Trust me Ryan, just get past this nonsense match this weekend and we'll put this crazy losing streak of yours behind you and move onto bigger and better things. Just go out and DESTROY this weekend! Show 'em what you're made of!

LP- Wanna go back to the wave pool?

RH- Sounds good.

FFM- You do of course realize that I have a wrestling ring in the other room and I hired El Dandy! You can train with him at any time you want! Any fuckin' time you feel like training to become a better WRESTLER!!! I spend a lot of MONEY!!! I mean, come on...EL DANDY, MAN!!!

RH- Gettin' my dick wet, dude. Besides, what the fuck am I supposed to learn from El fuckin' Dandy?

FFM- Who are you to doubt El Dandy?!

[Tommy]

*Davin Moreland comes out of his Suite, Sponsored by Starwood Hotels and into the Run DLP Locker Room, presented by Aquafina where Carl from Fresno, Phantos, Lucios, Emma, Spirios and Smokey are all watching tape of a George "the Animal" Steele vs. "Iron" Mike Sharpe match from 1984 on the Sony Multimedia Center. Well, Emma is playing with the Animals, Carl is figthing to stay awake, Phantos is ogling Emma and Lucios is really the only one intently watching*

DM: Lucios, can I put on OOWF-TV for a sec?

*Lucios glares at Davin*

DM: Seriously?

L: FINE!

*Lucios changes the channel*

DM: Totally watch this guys, it's awesome.

Apr 24, 2008 9:53:17 GMT -5 National Champion Chris Cole said:

"The Main Event" Chris Cole & Harper Camby are walking through the backstage area after Mayhem is off the air. Metrosexual Male Journalist #4 walks up

MMJ4: Chris, you are now down 2-0 in your best of seven series with Davin Moreland and he now is 7-0 overall against you. How will you bounce back this weekend at Blood on The Great Wall PPV?

(Cole says nothing. He shoots a look at Harper and pushes past MMJ4. Camby smiles and begins to pummel MMJ4. He finishes with a Dominator then cracks his knuckles and follows Cole down the hallway.)

DM: Ok ninjas ready to promo!

P: Ooh, this should be good.

L: SHHH

P: Don't tell me to SHHH, I'll talk when I WANT!

DM: Shut the fuck up, Phantos.

DM: Please.

*Phantos shuts up. The ninjas indicate they're in position*

DM: *holds 8 fingers up. Eventually the ninjas indicate that it's been shot for enough time*

*fade*

[Fire-Babe]

It is late at night in the Beijing arena. In the semi-darkened DEA Suites, two figures are standing about 10 feet apart talking. As the camera adjusts to the light, it is clear that it is Firewoman and Alexis Darling, or “Lexie” as Firewoman is calling her lately. They are standing very close together.

FW: Seriously. A barrette or something. [She pushes hair out of Lexie’s eyes, slowly.]

LD: Quit stalling.

FW: Are you sure?

LD: This has gone on long enough, Fire. We’ve waited long enough. It’s time.

FW: Your brother will kill me.

LD: He’ll understand. He has to. I’m ready. Truthfully, I’ve been ready since Madness.

FW: I knew once you saw me with Eliza and Jericho that something had changed…

LD: Please don’t tease.

FW: Okay. Fine.

Firewoman’s and Alexis’s eyes lock. The tension grows thick.

LD: So…. What are you waiting for?

FW: I just need to hear it again. That you are absolutely sure. Because if you’re not, Lexie, I don’t think I can --

LD: You? Insecure? Now? There’s no turning back, Lisa….

FW: Seriously, don’t use my name…

LD: I’ve been letting you call me Lexie for weeks now. Only one other person, other than my brother has called me that.

FW: He’s so going to kill me.

Another long tension filled pause.

FW: I can’t do this.

LD: Since when?

FW: It’s just. … I could be risking my entire career here. I may have a shot at the ONS title. And Davin….and you…

LD: Still being jealous? [Firewoman glares at her] Come on. You’ve wanted this since you first saw me at OOWF. Maybe since before that.

FW: I won’t lie. I have been… well, thinking about it since you came to my locker room with the contract.

LD: Then … let’s just…

Their eyes lock again, and Firewoman steps back..

LD: C’mon….

FW: Just…well, I need something….

LD: This isn’t some freaky thing, is it?

FW: Not really… Just call me a name….cuss me out or something…

LD: Oh for crying out loud….how is that not freaky.

FW: We all have our things, Lexie. Call me what you called me in Japan.

LD: It’s been a long time since then…

FW: Just do it. Do it now.

LD: Fine. Fucking no talent diva….Only got where you are by sleeping around…

FW: Perfect….

Firewoman closes the gap between the two women quickly. Lexie closes her eyes and sees stars as the full force of Firewoman’s right punch smashes into the side of her face. Lexie staggers back against the wall and sinks to the floor. As Firewoman steps back and is shaking her hand she hears a very loud and VERY angry voice from behind her as the lights snap on.

AD: WHAT! THE! FUCK!

Alexander Darling leaps between the two women. Firewoman’s eyes are still adjusting to the sudden bright light as Alexander comes at her with murder in his eyes. She can’t see him clearly, so she can’t defend herself. He attacks with full force.

LD: Wait, Alex! Stop!

Davin Moreland, who came in at the same time as Alexander Darling, pulls him off Firewoman just barely before any serious damage can be done.

DM: DAMMIT, Fire. What did I tell you? GM Office. NOW!!!

He pushes Firewoman out the door. Alexander follows behind, still wanting to kill. Davin pushes him back.

DM: NOT NOW. I will handle this. You need to tend to your sister.

Alexander turns back to Lexie, as Davin follows Firewoman to the GM Office.

[Tommy]

*We cut to Assistant GM Davin Moreland's office. They've gotten there so quickly, it's taken a while for the ninjacams to work their way into the office, so they've missed part of the conversation.*

DM: And that's it? All of it?

FW: Isn't that enough?

DM: Who all knows about this?

FW: I'm sure Alexander and Alexis have figured it out. Other than that, no one.

DM: Not even Jericho?

FW: No.

DM: You really need some stress management or something.

FW: *glares*

DM: Oh, DON'T be giving me that hard look, Lisa. You are in some serious shit! That contract was serious, and you're staring at 60-days on the bench without a check.

FW: Good.

DM: AFTER Japan. I thought we went over this. Seriously, what the fuck were you thinking?

FW: I...I was hoping that...

DM: That you'd get suspended. You still might. After Japan. That's not up to me, although I have a bit of pull there. But what was Lex i.....oh, no way...

*Firewoman looks up innocently*

DM: *grabs his Sprint Treo and a legal pad and pen* I've gotta make a quick trip. Did you want to come with me?

FW: That might lead to more problems, wouldn't it?

DM: Well, keep Brother Dear occupied for a while. Have Lucky run interference. I need a half hour on him.

FW: *gulps* I'll do what I can.

*Davin leaves and takes the Dunkin' Donuts Limousine over to the Local Hospital. After speaking some passable Mandarin, he's led up to a small, poorly lit room, and "Someone" is behind the curtain*

DM: Spill, Lexie.

LD: D...Davin?

DM: Duh. You had to know I'd be here first.

LD: Actually, I was expecting...

DM: Brother Dear? He's occupied for the time being while I poke around and get a few answers.

LD: Well, I don't know how much help I can be...We were arguing...something about Jericho...

DM: Lexie, you've never lied to me before. Please don't start now.

LD: She told you?

DM: Yup. Didn't really have a choice given the situation. I'll say one thing though, you're one hell of an actress.

LD: What?

DM: Well, there's no bruising, just a scrape on your cheek from where the punch was...If she wanted to, she would have knocked you the fuck out and broken your jaw.

LD: *mumbles*

DM: What was that?

LD: SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO!

DM: Huh. Interesting.

LD: *rubs her jaw* I thought she hit harder than that.

DM: She does. Trust me, I know.

LD: Then why...oh...

DM: Yeah, oh. Apparently more people care about you than you think.

LD: This is gonna be a thing, isn't it.

DM: I'll do my best to make it a small "thing". Anyway, I gotta bounce before Brother Dear shows up.

*Davin Starts to leave*

LD: Wait a sec?

DM: What?

LD: Who else cares about me?

DM: I'll see you tomorrow.

*Davin leaves down the hallway, not 10 seconds later a super-worried Alexander Darling shows up, fawning over his sister*

*fade*

[Riot Act]

The camera fades into a quiet corner in the backstage area during last week’s MWM. The area is deserted with the exception of Tyson Kincaid, OOWF’s newest acquisition who has just successfully competed in his first match with the company.

He sits contemplatively on a crate, head staring at the floor as drops of sweat fall from his brow and form small puddles on the concrete floor.

SFJ #382 approaches from the right side of the screen with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension. Kincaid lifts his head and his eyes brighten as he delivers a coy smile towards the visitor.

SFJ: Tyson Kincaid, tonight you were successful in your OOWF debut against Joey Kielbasa. What everyone must be wondering is what your plans are now that you are officially an active OOWF competitor?

TK: [smirks and chuckles] You know, I was asking myself the same question not 10 minutes ago as I left the ring. I thought to myself “Tyson, what’s next? How do you establish yourself in the OOWF?” And then the answer literally came to me as I was handed a memo as I walked through the curtain.

SFJ: [excitedly] What did it say?

TK: [jokingly] Settle down, sweetheart. I’m getting to it.

SFJ: I’m sorry. I’m just so thrilled to see a new face around here. [blushes]

TK: Don’t worry about it.

SFJ: So what did it say?

TK: It said that this Sunday at Blood on the Great Wall, I will face 5 other wrestlers in a match with the winner facing Bunny later in the night for the Onslaught Title.

SFJ: That is big news!

TK: Definitely.

SFJ: Who are the 5 other wrestlers?

TK: [once again smiling coyly] Firewoman, Beast, Amnesiac, The Dead and Outback Jack.

SFJ: Those are some big names. If you don’t mind me asking, how do you plan to prepare for all of these great talents?

TK: [slightly annoyed] I’ve been preparing my entire life. You act like I was born yesterday, like I don’t know a damn thing about OOWF or its wrestlers. But I know all too well what I’m up against – 5 of this company’s greatest stars. And if I win, which I will, another supreme talent in Bunny.

Some would say I don’t deserve this opportunity so early in my OOWF career, but if I can defeat 5 other wrestlers, then no one will able to say I haven’t earned the opportunity, the right to challenge for the title.

And let me tell you this: I’ve worked too long and too hard to get to this point in my career. This Sunday, no man…or woman…will stand in the way of my rise to the top of OOWF.

SFJ: Thanks you for your time and good luck on Sunday.

SFJ leaves as the camera focuses back to Kincaid who resumes his previous position. A phone is heard ringing as Kincaid picks up a cell phone sitting nearby on the crate. He looks at the caller ID and immediately jumps to his feet, answers the phone and walks out of the scene. We can hear him talking animatedly as the scene fades.

[DevSop]

*Some hospital in China*

Alexander Darling has just returned to his sister’s hospital room where she is recovering from the punch from Firewoman. You can tell Alexander is not having the best day, but he’s trying to keep his emotions in check and looks to be having a very hard time with that. He walks over and takes a seat in the chair next to Alexis’ bed. He sees the slight bruise on her face and reaches over to feel it when Alexis flinches back.

Alexander Darling: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…it’s just, it doesn’t look that bad really. I figured that you’d be in a lot more pain after taking a punch from her. I know, I’ve been there.

Alexis Darling: What; would you rather I sit here with a broken jaw on so many painkillers that I couldn’t function?

Alexander: No, you know that’s not what I’m say Lex. I never want to see you hurt, but something isn’t fitting here and I don’t get it.

Alexis: What are you talking about brother?

Alexander: Well, first of all, I’ve been punched by Fire during some of our training and even when she pulls punches she’s got a nasty hook, and yet you just have a small bruise and a few scratches. And then the biggest thing, you stopped me from killing her. You’ve NEVER let anyone get away with laying a hand on you, but you protect FIREWOMAN of all people. My god, she…

Alexis: Don’t Alex. You’re not going to let this go, are ya? The first chance you get, you’re going to after her, aren’t ya?

Alexander: …

Alexis: Damn you Alex. Why can’t you just let it go? If I ask you, will you let it go…for me?

Alexander: You know I’d do anything for ya Lex, but I just can’t. I’m supposed to protect you and I can’t let anyone attack you…not even Fire.

Alexis: Not even if it was my idea?

Alexander: …

Alexis: …

Alexander: Are you serious? Why the hell would you…? Really Alexis Constance Darling…I can’t believe, actually who am I kidding, of course you would. But what were you supposed to accomplish really? Fire gets suspended and you’re what, a little bruised?

Alexis: I’m supposed to be a little more than bruised. I don’t know what happened, but for some reason; she didn’t…fuck, I don’t know.

Alexander: Yes you do…it’s why I wanted her with us Alexis. Damn, I wish you had told me about this before you got started with it.

Alexis: You woulda just tried to talk us out of it. And I don’t think you really understand what Japan means for the both of us.

Alexander: Why does everyone say that? I was there with you. I know exactly what Japan means for you and I probably know better than anyone what it means for Fire, but it won’t be an issue.

Alexis: And you keep saying that. How can you guarantee that the skeletons we have don’t come to life Alex? You can’t, as much as you want to, you can’t guarantee a damn thing. So, I took a chance on something. I knew it was risky, but we’re running out of options. And if you won’t let me at least try to protect myself, well I gotta thing of something.

Alexander: Damn it Lex, I hate saying it, but I’m sorry okay. Maybe I really need to start looking at this another way, even if I personally really don’t believe we have anything to be worried about. Any of us. If it will really make you feel better about everything, I think I can find some time to get back in the ring with ya.

Alexis: Really? I have to say, I’m kinda surprised brother dear.

Alexander: I’m a man of many surprises Lexie, you know that. So, I guess we gotta think about the next step here. I guess I should talk to Davin and try to explain…

Alexis: Not necessary.

Alexander: What? Why?

Alexis: Uh, well he was just here. He’s going to try and handle it. It won’t be as bad as it could be.

Alexander: First, thank god for small favors and two, do I really want to know what the deal is with you two? I know what you want and it’ll never work out Alexis…for either of us. So just stop.

Alexis: It’s just business…I swear.

Alexander: If you say so. It’s not important right now, I guess.

At that point a doctor knocks on the door and walks in the room and he and Alexis have a conversation in Mandarin that goes completely over Alexander’s head. And you can tell Alexis is getting a little agitated by the direction of the conversation. And the doctor finally has enough and just walks out of the room.

Alexis: Stupid fucking policy.

Alexander: Care explaining?

Alexis: Just stupid fucking OOWF policy that any investigated injuries that occur on OOWF property resulting in a hospital visit must stay overnight for observation.

Alexander: Are you sure about that Alexis? It seems awfully convenient to have you here where everyone knows.

Alexis: No, it’s in the contracts, I just never assumed it would apply to me, since you know I have a NO CONTACT clause. Overprotective douche.

Alexander: Spoiled brat.

Alexis: Yes I can be…now since I’m stuck here all night, why don’t you go back to the hotel, find Lisa, apologize AGAIN…

Alexander: Why do I need to apologize this time? I really didn’t do anything wrong. I was just protecting…

Alexis: Who says I need protecting?

Alexander: I do, cause I’m your big brother.

Alexis: By 5 whole fucking minutes.

Alexander: Not the point.

Alexis: Anyway, at least talk to her. Then get some rest and bring me some breakfast tomorrow.

Alexander: So fucking bossy.

Alexis: And you know this. No go…I’m gonna try and relax some. Maybe rest a little.

Alexander: Sure sis. I’ll see you in the morning.

Alexander stands up from the chair and leans over to kiss his sister on her forehead before walking out of the room. As soon as he’s outside the room and shuts the door to Alexis’ private room he motions for someone to come over. And it’s resident bodyguard Josh O’Neill.

Alexander: If anyone gets past you that isn’t supposed to and sees my sister, what Spin Hanson wants to do to you will seem like a fucking picnic. Read me Josh?

Josh just nods and takes guard right beside the door as he twirls a police baton in his hands. Alexander gives him one last look before making his way out of the hospital, but he doesn’t get far when he’s stopped by the same doctor that came into Alexis’ room before. He jabbers on in some Mandarin that Alexander can’t understand before the doctor thrusts a bag into Alexander’s hand, mumbling something that sounds suspiciously like bitch. Alexander is about to turn around and bring the bag to his sister when something catches his eye.

A small gold ankh charm necklace.

Alexander’s eyes glaze over as it seems like he’s remembering a distant memory. After a moment, he starts scowling before storming out of the hospital in search of god knows what.

*Fade out on a rainy alley in China*

[Eric O'Mac]

*Fade in*

*We're LIVE at some hospital in China. Josh O'Neill is standing guard over Alexis Darling's hospital room. A Chinese doctor comes to Josh and talks talking in Mandarin to him. Josh shakes his head as if he doens't understand. Finaly, the doctor points Josh in the direction of the front desk. He leaves his post. A few seconds later, a famaliar man, wearing a white doctors coat walks calmly into the room with a stethoscope around his neck. The camera switches to a different angle to reveal it's none other than Eric O'Mac. Alexis' eye get wide as he walks into the room.*

Alexis: What the...

Eric: Relax. I heard what happened. I wanted to stop by and make sure you were alright.

Alexis: Yeah, like you really care. Where's Josh?

Eric: He had a call for him at the front desk. He'll be gone for a few minutes.

Alexis: Well, you best leave too. I don't want to see you. You left me and Alex high and dry to go play with Moose and his friends.

Eric: It's not like that at all.

Alexis: Then tell me what it's like!

Eric: Well, what the fuck was I suppose to do, Alexis? Your brother handcuffed me to the ring and you helped set me up for it! He knocks you down, I go to check on you, and he ends up cuffing me! Did you really think I was going to stick around after that?

Alexis: You were going to leave us anyways. This damn war was your first priority.

Eric: You're right. The war was my first priority, because I shot the first arrow. But this was about getting a fair shake. A fair chance in the OOWF without the biases that ran with this company for so long. And that was going to be beneficial for me, you, AND your brother. What I wanted to accomplish was going to help DEA become the biggest thing in the OOWF EVER.

Alexis: You still should have told us that before you came on board. We couldn't trust you, especially since you are friends with...Moose.

Eric: Alexis, you and Alex were family to me! FAMILY! Moose would have NEVER done anything to harm you or Alex because I wouldn't allow him to! But your brother had to let his fucking ego get in his way. Couldn't grapse the concept we're selling, and now, there's nothing I can do for either of you.

*Silence*

Eric: What's the deal with you and Davin?

Alexis: Nothing. It's just business.

Eric: Yeah, that's what they all say.

*Eric is clearly saddened.*

Eric: Look, I shouldn't have come here. I didn't want to start an argument. I just wanted to check on you and you're clearly going to be ok.

Alexis: Let me ask you...is it worth it?

Eric: Is what worth it?

Alexis: The carnage, the war, the paranoid, everything going on in the OOWF right now. You said it all came from the first arrow that you shot. Was it worth it? It is still worth it?

*Eric is silenced. Before he can answer, a pager goes off. Eric looks at it.*

Eric: That's my decoy. Josh is on his way back, and unlike everyone else in this hospital, he knows I'm not a doctor. So...I'd say if you need anything to call, I'm sure you still have my number...but you aren't going to call. So good luck and take care.

*Before Alexis can say anything, Eric drops something on her nightstand and leaves the room. Alexis picks up the object, and it's a single red rose. Josh O'Neill reclaims his position at the door and before we fade out, we hear in the next room over...

Eric: HI EVERYBODY!

*Fade out*

(To be continued with Crete promo.)

[Attitude Adjuster]

AA and JA are watching OOWF-TV in their locker room. Well, actually, AA is watching while Johnny seems to have a blank stare going on.

AA: Boy, these promos suck anymore. It’s almost as if we have to carry the entire roster on our vocal cords.

JA: ...

AA: Yeah, I’m speechless, too, over the inability of some of these writer monkey wanna-be wrestlers. If it wasn’t for Cappington and Stank, this place would really suck.

JA: ...

AA: Ok, you’re right. Beast and Moose are pretty cool, too.

JA: ...

AA: OK, since you forced me, LD Williams isn’t bad either.

JA: ...

AA: Are you still upset over that loss to the two masked idiots? Don’t worry about that, Johnny. I’m sure the writers have something worked out for us. Maybe it means we’re another step closer to a Heels/D&D reunion feud. Those always got your spirit up.

JA: ...

AA: Wait, wait, wait. I know. Getting set on fire a few weeks ago and then getting kidnapped at gunpoint by Stank was pretty stressful. Pro wrestling is a tough life, with all the sneak attacks and backstabbings and secret alliances and Hot Lesbian Action going on.

JA: ...

AA: You know, if you just want to chill for a while, there’s this place I heard about recently for pro wrestlers who want to clean up. It’s the Austin Idol/Billy Jack Haynes Rehab Center. So if you ever just feel like blowing off a match without calling anyone, maybe you should check out these guys first. I heard that’s where Jeff Hardy is right now. It’s like his third visit, so it must be good.

JA: ...

AA: You’re not turning into Voltage, are you?

JA: ...

AA: Ok, cool. I was worried there for a second. But at least take this card, OK?

AA slips the business card for the Austin Idol/Billy Jack Haynes Rehab Center into Johnny’s shirt pocket, and it falls out the bottom of the pocket. AA realizes Johnny’s still wearing the same shirt he had on when Firewoman set him on fire.

AA: Dude, we got to get you some new clothes...

[Jack Quinn]

<Back in the hospital we see the doctor talking to Alexis in Mandarin. She is arguing with him, but he is adamant and prepares a shot for her. Despite her protests he gives Alexis the shot and leaves the room. Alexis curses him as he walks out, then notices the rose Eric left for her. She picks up the rose and holds it in her hands and stares at it thoughtfully for a few moments, then lays her head back, and her deep thought turns into sleep>

-Time passes, but naturally the Invisible Ninja Cameramen are there to catch Alexis the moment she opens her eyes-

<Alexis wakes up and takes a moment to clear her thoughts, she looks down at her hands and the single red rose has been replaced by three black roses. Alexis stares in horror for a second, then throws the roses across the room and grabs her cellphone and dials furiously>

-Cut to Alexander Darling in the DEA suites, he is sitting absent mindedly flipping through Chinese TV when his phone rings-

AD: Hello?......What do you mean he was there? Who?...........what?............no, that's impossible............because it is.........dammit because I took precautions, there is no way he got into that room............three what?...........dammit, I am going to kill him...........no,no calm down, it couldn't have been HIM..........it is just Moose screwing with us............FINE, I'll be there as soon as I can

[punk/core]

::Bunny with SFJ #487::

SFJ #487: Bunny, last week you absolutely dominated in your title defense against Ryan Hardcore. In fact, you debilitated him before the match even started.

Bunny: He never deserved a title shot anyway. I was just making sure it never happened. Plus, that's what he gets for peeking in on my tape-viewing.

::Lauren Phoenix stomps in and pushes SFJ #487 aside::

LP: *with a finger in Bunny's face* Oh, so you're really fucking proud, aren't you? You know he had to get twenty stitches in his forehead after that match? TWENTY! You know what I think? I think you cheated. I think you were afraid to defend the belt, so you FUCKING CHEATED before the bell!!!!!!

B: Listen, do--

*Phoenix SMACKS Bunny across the face*

*Bunny smiles, inches toward her*

B: Listen, do you see this belt? He never should have gotten a SHOT at this belt in the first place. How has he earned it? *Is now right up in Lauren's face* Tell me! How did he earn it?

*Ryan Hardcore leaps in from off-camera, flips Bunny around, locks in The Facial and... BLAM! Plants him on the cement floor*

RH: *smirking* Tie game.

::Hardcore and Phoenix back out of the room, hand-in-hand::

[Tommy]

*Davin Moreland is SITTING at a table in an UNDISCLOSED LOCATION (presumably in the People's Republic of China) with The DEA (except for Lucky, who is off doing a statistical analysis of the correlation between the number of posts made in the OOWF thread, the suspension of belief in reality for seconds at a time, and his perceived character assassination, and why he whines about it). Josh O'Neill is doing his thing...watching the door.*

*We come in halfway through the conversation, stupid slow ninjas*

DM: So that's where we're at. I've talked to everyone I've needed to talk to, and I've gotten the commitments I've needed to get. Comes down to this. Alexander, you sign this waiver stating that Firewoman did NOT in fact commit assault on L...Alexis, she doesn't get fined and then suspended, and we all move on from this.

LD: With no repercussions?

DM: Sadly, yes.

FW: What do you mean, sadly?

DM: Are you fucking serious? I swear to Christ the three of you would have pink slips by now if it were up to me. Thankfully for you three, it's not up to me.

AD: ...

LD: Then why have you helped us?

DM: I've done no such thing.

LD: Davin.

DM: I haven't done a damned thing. You three are lucky. That's all.

LD: Uh-huh.

DM: Now is not the time for this. Alexis. Alexander. You both have to sign this. The three of you disgust me. Actually, least of which is Alexander. Go figure.

FW: You're just gonna sit here and take pot-shots at us? I don't have to take this. *she starts to get up*

DM: Sit down or find a ride out of China, Fire. I really don't much care at this point.

*She sits, but is FUMING*

DM: I appreciate what you all have gone through, and, in some cases are CONTINUING to go through with your...*looks around at the Ninja cameramen*...respective issues in Japan. Bottom line is this though - all three of you made your choices, and all three of you are going to have to face the consequences of those choices. Moreover, I hope this makes it absolutely clear that you WILL be available to work the Japan Show. Your name recognition is too much to ignore. All three of you know this. That's why the special attention has been paid to your respective positions. But you're going to start playing ball with the company, or all three of you can go work in Japan again for all I care.

FW: *continues to fume* Are we done here?

DM: No, we're not DONE HERE, Lisa. You are going to sit through this until I'm done. You don't HAVE wiggle room here. For Christ sakes I mean, you've tried to suspend yourself what, three times now? You LIED to me last week, and sure, you've come clean now, but only when the end of the road was in your face. You're goddamned better than this, Fire. You're making yourself look weak and petty as shit.

FW: Fuck you.

DM: No. Fuck YOU. You're a complicated person and you've hidden a lot of secrets for a long time - but the bullshit's gonna stop, and it's gonna stop today. You really think you're gonna get booked to win a belt with all this stuff going on? End it. Go win some damned matches. You're too good for this. *looks at Alexis* And so are you.

LD: You don't know shit. We were just trying...

DM: Oh save it. You are AS complicit if not MORE than she is in all of this. That's how this all got to go down. It's like faking your own death, Alexis. And don't get any ideas with that either.

LD: So Alexander's the golden child and can do no wrong?

DM: In this situation? Since we've left the States, I can find NOTHING with him being involved in all this. So not only have you both deceived me, but you've deceived him as well.

AD: And, well, Lexie...there's this too...

*Alexander pulls the gold ankh out of his pocket and puts it on the table*

*fade*

[Deadly]

[The Dead sees Bunny writhing in pain on the floor after the attack from Ryan Hardcore.]

Dead: You should get used to how that feels. Sunday, your belt is mine.

[The Dead walks away with a smile on his face as Bunny continues to writhe on the floor.]

[DevSop]

*Still in an undisclosed location*

Alexis Darling stares at the necklace her brother just placed on the table in front of her and as much as she looks like she wants to say something there is nothing she can say at this point. Firewoman, maybe for the first time ever, knows now is not the time to get involved in the complicated relationship of the Darling twins. And Davin Moreland just sits back in his chair waiting to see what the next move is when Alexander stands up.

Alexander Darling: Davin, I would say thanks, but we both know I wouldn't mean it so I'm just going to go.

Davin Moreland: Alex, I don't think we're actually finished here.

Alexander: I am. Seriously, I need to get the fuck out of here right now before I say or do something I regret.

Davin reluctantly nods and Alexander starts walking to the door when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He quickly slaps the hand away and turns around to face his sister.

Alexis Darling: Alex, don't go like this. I'm sorry about keeping everything from you, but...

Alexander: I really don't want or need to hear it Alexis. I could take you deceiving me because it's something we've both done in the past. I may not like it, but I'd get past it. What I CAN NOT FUCKING FATHOM IS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH HIS GOD DAMN SYMBOL.

Alexis: It's not...it's just...it's a reminder. It makes me sure I never forget.

Alexander: Did you ever fucking stop and think that maybe some of us don't need or want to be reminded of what happened there LEXIE. That some things are just fucking better left dead and buried in the past. God damn, I'm the fucking Intercontinental Champ and I can't even remember who I'm wrestling this PPV because all I have is reminder after reminder of a past that doesn't need to ever be mentioned again. And I don't know who's worse at this point...you or Moose.

A slap echoes in the room as Alexander's head snaps back. He rubs his jaw as he turns back to face his sister with a look of shock, sadness, and rage all mixing behind his eyes. The Darlings are staring each other down before Alexander finally turns away wiping a small amount of blood from his lip. Alexis is staring at her brother in complete disbelief of what she just did and she looks like she's about to say something but Alex says something first...

Alexander: I guess I know who hits hardest in the room now. Davin, if you want her...hell if you want both, they're yours. I'm tired of it. I have a title to defend and right now, that's ALL I care about.

Alexander starts walking down the hall away from the undisclosed location and we can her Alexis yelling after her brother to please come back, but he continues to walk away from her without looking back. The camera angle turns to where we can see Alexander Darling walking towards us and it's quite obvious he's barely holding himself together, while over his shoulder we see Firewoman come up behind Alexis and slowly lead her back into the office to sit down as she's still yelling for/at her brother.

*Fade to blood red*

[Fire-Babe]

Yes, we are STILL in Davin's office, but I believe we are just about done. Firewoman has been silent because she's been thinking. Now, when she speaks, it's quiet and calm. Very uncharacteristic, and eery.

FW: Lex...you need to make up with your brother.

LD: I don't need him. I'm sick of his--

FW: OKay. Enough is enough. We won't need to do this again, Davin. I know what I have to do.

DM: Okay...I'm glad. Wait....what does that mean? NO FIRES!

FW: Don't worry. I'm outta here. I have a match to prepare for, and a phone call to make. Are we done?

DM: For now. Seriously, Fire. Please let this be the last of it.

Firewoman and Lexie leave. Lexie is in some sort of daze and kind of lost. As they're walking, they come across Bunny, laying in a heap in the hallway.

FW: Good grief, what now....

She looks around to make sure it isn't a trap of some kind, and then helps him up.

FW: Cute little rap last week. Did you make that up all your own or did you need a thesaurus.

B: Huh?

FW: Never mind. What happened?

B: I dunno... Dead...Lauren Phoenix.....

FW: There's a visual I don't need. [She picks up Bunny's belt from the floor to hand it to him]

B: Hey gimme that. That's mine. [He snatches it rudely out of her hands.]

FW: What did you think I was going to do with it? Enjoy it while it lasts, Furry, because you won't have it for long. I'm taking it from you. Again...remember? Scorpion, what I do, take your belts?

B: Ha! Like you did last time? Oh wait...you DIDN'T.

FW: Because you tripped and fell over Beast and the refs are idiots. That hardly counts.

B: Besides, your history says you have no chance. You'll have to beat 5 other wrestlers in a six-man--

FW: Six PERSON.

B: -- match, and then face me. And you have to admit. You've wrestled two matches in one night before, and it didn't go so well, if I remember right.

FW: [very quietly] I don't think you want to go down that road with me right now.

B: No? Man that was a night, eh? You actually lost both matches that night. Great night for ya...

FW: I think I had help losing the first one, ex-partner. Let's go Lexie...

B: And then losing to Davin. Two in one night... I'm surprised you didn't just crawl into a hole and die of embarassment.

Firewoman starts to walk away, holding Lexie's hand, an uncharacteristic calm, serene look on her face... almost cold.

B: What? No comment? No snappy comeback? No sparkling? What's the matter, Flamechick, lost your edge?

The calm serene demeanor changes faster than either Lexie or Bunny can blink. Firewoman EXPLODES at Bunny, knocking him back into the wall. Lexie covers her face, having had enough violence for two days. Bunny recovers, and lunges towards Firewoman and Lexie. Firewoman instinctively shoves Lexie behind her, kicks Bunny in the stomach, and PEDIGREE! to the floor. She picks up his belt again, looks longingly at it, and the slams it down on his head.

FW: No, Bunny, I think my edge is just fine. Thanks for asking.

Firewoman grabs Lexie's hand again, gently, and continues towards her locker room.

[DevSop]

*OOWF Arena*

We’re backstage at one of the generic interview posts as we’ve received word someone has some things they’d like to say about this Sunday’s PPV, Blood on the Great Wall. We haven’t received word on who specifically wants to talk, just to send a ninja camera back there and we’d out in a second. We’re just waiting on the arrival of the plot device…I mean Sexy Female Journalist to start, but none actually show up. Instead it is new DEA personal interviewer LonelyGirl15. And walking up with her is the current OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Alexander Darling. He’s got the title belt securely around his waist and looks like a completely different person than we saw just a few hours ago leaving Davin Moreland’s undisclosed office. The look is one of complete focus and it even has LG15 a bit worried about what’s in store here. It looks like we’re ready to start though…

LonelyGirl15: Hello OOWF fanatics, LG15 here with the holder of the Intercontinental Title, Alexander Darling. Now, you specifically asked for this time because you had some things you wanted to talk about and you went so far as to give me a list of off-limit topics. Is that correct?

Alexander just looks down at LG15.
Alexander Darling: …

LG15: Right…so these topics include your sister, Alexis; your ally and friend; Firewoman; your history in Japan and your issues with Moosehead Jack. Is that correct?

Alexander continues to stand there with the same scowl on his face…
Alexander: …

LG15: Okay then, how about Capellan or Donovan Viper? Will you talk about them?

Alexander’s look quickly changes from a scowl to a really evil grin…
Alexander: I’d love to say a few words about my opponents this weekend LG. I’m so pleased you’re asking about MY MATCH.

LG15: Uh, okay then. Well, first of all 2 weeks ago you defeated Capellan, but some would say there was a bit of a fluke-like nature to that pin. How do you comment?

Alexander: Easy, I won…he lost. Next question.

LG15 looks like she’s getting a bit flustered as this is a side of Darling she hasn’t seen before…
LG15: But there is the fact that he did control most of that match, how can you make sure the result will be the same this time?

Alexander: Because I’m still Alexander Darling, and he’s still Capellan. There was a time when people truly believed Capellan was the future of this company and I have to admit that when I took the time to look at the history of this company, there was a time when Capellan was truly impressive.

LG15: Most of that is in the past tense, what do you think has changed?

Alexander: I’m not exactly sure and I really don’t give a fuck. It’s obvious that Cappy has lost his edge and motivation to be the best here. Two things I still have massive amounts of. It was proven that Cap couldn’t get it done against Stank for the World Title, but if he thinks this belt right here will be any easier to grab, he is so fucking wrong. Without going into specifics, some may think that I’ve lost my focus but that’d be a big mistake on their part.

LG15: And why is that?

Alexander: Because as I’ve said from the start, this war has its purpose, but when everything is said and done and both sides are licking their wounds, the people with gold will be the people with power.

LG15: Does that mean you still haven’t chosen a side?

Alexander: Next question…

LG15: Fine, let’s move on to your other opponent this weekend; Donovan Viper. Best friend of the man you took that belt from. What do you have to say about him?

Alexander: Donnie fuckin’ Viper…it’s kinda strange, ya know. We’ve quietly faced other 4 times already in my time here in the OOWF and right now our record stands even at 2 and 2.

LG15: If that’s true, why do you seem so confident that you’ll exit the PPV as champion?

Alexander: Because Donnie knows that the only way he’s ever been able to beat me is to get his trusty chain involved in the match, but this week I’ll be prepared for it. Besides all I have to do to defeat Viper is have one of the guys in the audience take off their shirt and homo-boy Donnie will be so distracted…

Donovan Viper: I’M NOT A HOMO!

Out of nowhere Donnie Viper and Capellan walk up from opposite sides of the building and meet Darling on the interview set. Alexander pats LG15 on the shoulder to let her know she should get out of there before something happens to her.

Capellan: Dude, you know you really talk a lot and you’re pretty much an asshole.

Alexander: Yea…and your point? Besides Cap, you shouldn’t mention assholes around…

POP!! Viper goes for the chain assisted Death Elbow but Darling knew it was coming and pulled Capellan in the way. Capellan drops to the ground as Darling laughs.

Alexander: No wonder you two could never get it done in the tag division. Rule #1 Don’t hit your partner.

Donovan: See, I would think Rule #1 should be don’t fuck your sister.

Alexander leaps at Viper but Viper side steps him and pushes him back into the interview set. Viper is about to attack when he’s dragged to the ground by Capellan.

Capellan: What the fuck dude? I thought we agreed to take Darling out and decide the IC champ between us.

Alexander: Oh really…you two thought you would just push me aside and fight for this belt right here between yourselves. That’s really fucking interesting.

Alexander takes the belt off his shoulder and pats it as he takes a step towards the former tag team partners.
I really thought that we’d find a nice common ground amongst ourselves, go out there and tear the house down and have the best Intercontinental Title Match this company has seen in a long time. But nope, there’s no chance of that because you two are fucking dumbasses.

Capellan and Viper look at each other in confusion and turn back to Darling who’s pointing behind them. And being the gullible challengers they are, both turn around and see nothing…well Viper sees the wall coming closer as Darling pushes him from behind and Capellan sees the shiny belt coming towards his face as he turns back to face Darling. Capellan drops again after being hit in the head for the second time in less than 5 minutes. Meanwhile, Viper is trying to steady himself against the wall but it doesn’t last long as Darling charges him at full speed and absolutely crushes him with a Yakuza Kick. HOLY SHIT…we could hear the smack of that shot from the other side of the building.

Viper slinks to the floor and just as Darling is about to lean down to pick him up he shoots out a back kick and catches Capellan right in the baby making organ. Capellan doubles over which puts him in perfect position for Darling to hoist him in the Crucifix Bomb position and he throws Capellan right next to Viper. The back of Capellan’s head smashes into the wall and as Darling stands there looking down on his opponents this weekend, he leans down and gets right in there barely conscious faces.

Alexander: In case anyone forgot just what I’m capable of, this was just a reminder. This Sunday, I’ll show both of you and anyone else who may be curious just exactly what a 100% focused Alexander Darling can do. And since it hasn’t really been said in a while…

BOOYAH, Bitches!!!

Alexander walks over and picks up his Intercontinental Title before leaving as medical personnel rush over to check on Viper and more so on Capellan.


*Fade*

[Capellan]

Meanwhile, the real Capellan is off at the Great Wall of China. Because dude? Agreeing to an alliance with Donovan Viper? I don't think so. Even if he is still surfing.

Cap's standing on The Great Wall, basking in its awesomeness, when he is approached by SFChineseJ#1. Go ethnicity!

"Capellan, you seem to be taking the time to see a little of China before your match."

"Yeah, I figured since my ancestors came from this part of the world I should take a look around." Capellan spreads his arms to gesture at the wall. "This is awesome! Definitely worth the trip all by itself! And I haven't even got to the Yangtze River or the Terracotta Warriors yet!"

(This message brought to you by the All China Tourism Bureau)

"How do you feel about your upcoming title match?"

"Oh, that?" Cap shrugs, "Should be a good one."

SFChineseJ#1 looks confused.

"It's an Intercontinental Title Shot! Against your one time friend and frequent enemy Donovan Viper, and Alexander Darling - the man who beat you on a fluke!"

Cap shrugs again.

"Or you could say it's a belt that's beneath me in a match against a man who can't stand up for his principles and a man who hasn't got any. Or against a man who's never touched a woman and a man who's only touched his sister ... yes, I went there."

"Those are strong words from a man Alexander Darling has accused of 'losing his edge'. Do you have any response to that?"

"He has a point."

"... excuse me?"

"Just because he's a jerk doesn't mean he must be wrong. It's been 15 months since I held a title in the OOWF. I've had some good matches and some good wins, but I've always come up short when it counted."

"... you don't seem all that concerned."

"I'm not. Until this nonsense with Rick and Bennett is over, titles are going to mean very little around here."

"You think it's nonsense?"

"Of course it's nonsense. It's all ego-driven bullshit on both sides."

"Yet you've joined a side ..."

"When one of the options is Moosehead Jack, I'll always line up for the opposing team." Capellan pauses to look out across the mountains of northern China. "It's nice here. I think later in the year ... after the 'war' is over ... I might take some time off to come back."

[wld]

**L.D. Williams is in his locker room facing the camera.**

LD: “What am I supposed to say Stank? That I’m going to give you a hell of a match? That I want your best? Polish the belt up because I’m taking it? What difference does it make? The one thing we both want is a match where one of us can prove he’s the better man. A steel cage should be the solution but, well, been there, done that. As for outside interference, we can count on D&D and Jack to stay out of it, but the rest of our allies?…

Bottom line Stank, we’re going to beat the hell out of each other. Our respective armies will turn the match into a mess, or make it into some symbol of a bigger war. But, you know and I know that it’s about the title, about proving ourselves, about being the man. You are, and I want to be. Sunday, hopefully we’ll put an end to this.”