[Jack Quinn]

<Moose passes by an OOWF monitor and sees Capellan's very brief promo>

Yep, thats what I'm talking about, mailing it in. This is going to be the easiest match of my career.

[Deadly]

[The Dead is roaming the halls of the arena with a look of purpose on his face. He just so happens to have a ninja cameraman alongside him.]

Dead: Enough of this shit. The Dead has had too damn much.

[The Dead turns the corner and bumps into The Nerve Agent.]

TNA: Nice blackeye...

Dead: Mistake.

[The Dead lays a few vicious right hands into Nerve's temple. Nerve reels backwards but can't get away before The Dead grabs his head and slams into the concrete wall. Blood starts to pour from Nerve's head, and it looks like he's about to fall to the ground. Before he can, The Dead CLOSES THE CASKET on his sorry ass.]

Dead: Hope you learned something from that.

[The Dead continues on his way until he arrives at his desired location. The DEA Suite. He kicks the door down. Unfortunately, no one is home.]

Dead: Fucking figures...

[The Dead reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a can of black spray-paint. He walks over to Firewoman's door and begins writing.]

THIS IS NOT OVER

[The Dead smiles at his handiwork and leaves the area.]

[Tommy]

*Run DEA is sitting in the Media Room watching the Sony Multimedia Center and watching OOWF-TV*

DM: I think Dead just spray-painted what USED to be your door.

FW: Huh. Guess he didn't get the memo.

L: Well, at least you know it's not over.

FW: What's not over?

DM: "This"

FW: Umm...K. Hey Alexander, what's "This"?

AD: I have no idea. Are you feuding with him?

FW: Not to my knowledge.

LD: Oh yeah, I think you still are, actually.

FW: Really? Huh.

P: ...

DM: Phantos, c'mon, snap out of it. See? Johnny's not even dead.

LD: HA! Dead.

AD: So, does Dead get suspended for destruction of property?

DM: I dunno. If no one is actually USING that property, does it count?

L: Good question.

DM: I'll ask. I should ask Eric. He knows everything about suspensions.

FW: Pretty sure he knows we're not in "The DEA Suite" anymore too.

DM: Eric pays attention.

AD: That he does.

LD: So, the moral of the story Fire...

FW: This. Is. Not. Over. Got it.

DM: Cool. Can you guys help me come up with a promo to cut on Cole? I didn't think a best of 7 would be so hard to come up with new material.

AD: You could always just say the same thing over and over like a certain wrestler who shall not be named but could possibly have initials carved in his chest.

DM: That's weak though.

L: It is.

*Emma comes in from the hallway*

E: Hey guys, that Dead guy just came out of what used to be the DEA Suites with a can of spray paint.

DM: We saw.

E: What was he doing?

LD: Sending a message.

E: What was the message?

FW: This. Is. Not. Over.

E: Huh. What do you think he means by that?

LD: Probably that this isn't over.

E: This...what?

LD: Hell if I know.

DM: I still can't believe he vandalized an abandoned room. He didn't notice the lack of furniture? He noticed no one was there, but wasn't suspicious?

AD: No one ever accused him of being the brightest bulb. He can't even sell a broken ankle right.

L: Good point, Alexander.

Spirios: BARK!

*All laugh*

*fade*

[Deadly]

***OOC

Yeah, because it was made perfectly clear that you guys aren't just teaming together, you're also roommates.

It's cute, really.

[Jack Quinn]

<Moose walks by and sees Dead watching Moreland's promo, clearly he is annoyed>

TD: They are such fucking douchebags

MHJ: Yeah I know

TD: Darling has some balls talking about someone not selling something?

MHJ: Well in all honesty, I am pretty sure Alexis has all the balls in that little organization

TD: True. So I guess now they are going for that whole nWo "cool" vibe?

MHJ: Seems like it.

TD: Yeah that is going to get really annoying

MHJ: Its their funeral.

TD: Did you hear what Darling said about your promos?

MHJ: You mean Mr. Booyah Bitch? Like he has any room to talk

TD: That's never stopped him

MHJ: No kidding. Did you know he did some supposed great things in Japan and all that?

TD: Gotta say I agree

MHJ: You do?

TD: Saw him get his ass kicked really great in Japan, that count?

MHJ: Yes it does. Let's go talk to Bennett, I am still not 100% sure Fire is going to get out of her little stunt last night.

[Capellan]

Capellan seems amused.

"I'm mailing it in? As opposed to say, the guy who's been cutting exactly the same promo for three straight years? Tell you what, Moose. You show me you're capable of having one new idea this week, and maybe I'll give a crap about what you have to say."

[Jack Quinn]

<Dead and Moose are still walking toward Bennett's office>

TD: This must be a huge arena, we have been walking forever

MHJ: All for the sake of continuity

<Kayfabe pokes her head around the corner and glares at Moose, who glares right back until Kayfabe goes away. Just then a SFJ runs up to Moose>

SFJ13: Moose have you seen CApellan's latest promo?

TD: He promo'd? Thats like three times this week already!

Capellan seems amused.

"I'm mailing it in? As opposed to say, the guy who's been cutting exactly the same promo for three straight years? Tell you what, Moose. You show me you're capable of having one new idea this week, and maybe I'll give a crap about what you have to say."

TD: Is he serious?

MHJ:<laughing> Christ allmighty I think that boy has been dropped on his head too many times. <turning serious> Cap, I don't give a shit if you give a crap what I say. I don't care if you don't trust me, and I don't care if you respect me. Cause I sure as hell don't respect you. Look, I said it the first time, I am going to make an example out of you this week. No mind games, no digging into your past to expose you as a fraud. I am going to walk to that ring on Wednesday, beat the ever loving hell out of you, pin your shoulders to the mat for the three count, then leave your miserable carcass in the ring. End of story. If you think you can stop me, go ahead and try.

<Dead and Moose continue walking on>

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to IHOP’s palatial locker room. Skurge and Solly are both pacing in a rather thoughtful manner. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth is off on official IHOP business and is, therefore, nowhere to be seen.

Skurge: So, what was it – two weeks ago that we won a tag team title match?
SYB: Yeah, I think it was about two weeks ago.
Skurge: Aboot, for fuck’s sake. I’m not in the mood.
SYB: Shit, dude. Sorry. It was aboot two weeks ago that we won a tag team title match, but didn’t win the titles.
Skurge: Thought so. So two weeks ago we should have won the titles, then last week, we fought…who? I’m sorry, I’m just having trouble recalling.
SYB: Last week, we fought BAD, and…
Skurge: And we fucking lost. Seriously? We lost to them? Look, if we show up week in and week oot, we’re the class of the tag team division. No one can beat us. No one. Our problem is inconsistency, eh? Solly?
*Solly is playing GTAIV*
Skurge: See? This is exactly what I’m talking aboot.
*Fade out*

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

*Back in the Destroyitarium, the Taipei Barbed Wire Co. guys are toasting the Midnight Sons. Stank joins Outback Jack at the bar*

S: Quite a long chat you had with Firewoman.

OBJ: I suppose so.

S: Somehow it didn't make it onto OOWF TV.

OBJ: Just as well. I was passing on some info I picked up from some old mates in Japan. Might have pissed some people off, not that I really care, but more importantly she might be a little better prepared to take on certain opponents now. You know, understanding someone's history, psychology, that kind of stuff. So it's just as well some beer accidentally got spilled on the camera.

Bartender: Waht a surprise that was. I've never seen you spill beer before.

OBJ:There's a first time for everything, mate.

S: And you didn't think to spread this info within Drink and Destroy first.

OBJ: No disrespect to Fire, but she needed it more urgently. She's as tough as anybody around here, but she's going to have to be smart to survive this tour. So is Darling, for that matter. There up against some people with advantages of size and experience. At least our crew doesn't have much to worry about in those departments. Right, big man?

S: That's true.

Bartender; It's not Stank's fault he's the biggest and the strongest. He doesn't even exercise!

S: ....!

OBJ: But of course I will fill you in on what I've heard. Let me just have a sip of beer first.

*OBJ reaches for a pitcher on the bar. Suddenly beer flies through the air, and the feed from the ninja cameraman at the bar is lost.*

[Concrete TG]

(Firewoman is LEANING~! against a wall just outside Ric's coffee shop. She doesn't look too pleased and she's periodically looking inside, waiting for someone to come out. As she stews, Concrete TG walks up, talking on the phone)

CTG: ... no, I didn't think he was injured either, he sold the wrong knee.. your jaw hurts too, huh? .... yes, plenty of ice.... (spots fire) hang on a second...

FW: (rolls her eyes as Crete approaches) touch me and I.....

CTG: That is past, Citizen Fire....

FW: Speak real english

CTG: *ahem* looks like Bennett's boys finally made you make a decision.

FW: They gave me reason to, but that doesn't mean I want to have long meaningful conversations with you.

CTG: I'll be brief. I have information on Moosehead Jack

FW: besides the fact that he kills you on a weekly basis? I don't need anyone to tell me that.

CTG: I think I would know more than that, having worked with and against him in my time with OOWF.

FW: Look, just leave me alone. You don't want a replay of Columbus

CTG: I'm convinced JBL was the one "inspecting" you

FW: Whatever

CTG: (hands Fire an envelope) this contains some pertinent information for your use. oh, and could you take this? apparently someone wants to speak to you.

FW: (glares at Crete as she takes the phone)_ ... Hello? ... no, we'll talk later (closes the phone) I don't need you delivering messages to me. I have my own sources.

CTG: The envelope will be more than beneficial.

FW: and this conversation has gone on too long. (opens the envelope and pulls out one pic....of Moose in Carebear boxers and a "Moosey!" T-shirt) the hell??

CTG: You have my permission to use any and all materials gathered in that envelope as you see fit. Now if you'll excuse me, I need ice for this bruise (points to a huge mess on his jaw)

FW: you shouldn't provoke Stank like that

CTG: I wasn't provoking, I was recruiting. (walks inside)

FW: (digs through the envelope some more)

[Fire-Babe]

May 16, 2008 20:28:15 GMT -5 Jack Quinn said:

MHJ: All for the sake of continuity

OOC: Weeping tears of joy......

[Capellan]

Cap catches a re-run of Moose's latest comments.

"Nope, no original thought. Just a checklist of the same old crap. Let me make up a few cards, and we could play Moosehead Bingo."

[Jack Quinn]

<Bennett, Moose, Dead and Eric are all sitting in Bennett's suite when they see Capellan's promo on OOWFtv>

LJB: You gonna respond to that?

MHJ: Nope

TD: He seems to have a deathwish

MHJ: He will see more of the same old same old on Wednesday. Last time we faced off, yeah he got the win, but I nearly broke his leg. He hasn't been the same since then.

EOM: You know he is going to say this is more of the same shit from you.

MHJ: Don't care. Not really sure what he wants from me. He isn't worth a long drawn out promo anyway. Maybe if he shows he is actually here to do something more than collect a paycheck, I might be motivated to try a new promo on him. Until then, its more of the same

[Concrete TG]

May 17, 2008 11:36:21 GMT -5 Fire-Babe said:

OOC: Weeping tears of joy......

As she posted this pic everywhere in the locker rooms.....

[BC]

Poe is standing, facing Selena in a candle-lit room. He strokes her chin as she looks up at him.

Poe: “Hear the tolling of the bells –
Iron bells!
What a world of solemn thought their melody compels!
In the silence of the night,
How we shiver with affright
At the melancholy menace of their tone!”

Poe then turns to face the camera with a wicked grin, as does Selena. Selena now has her left eye made up as the Eye of Horus with a crescent moon painted over her right.

Poe: “Alexander Darling, how are you feeling today, boy? Feeling a little rough? This is just the beginning. You put me out of the sport that I love for nearly eight months. You can not run from me. You can not hide. Your friends can not save you from me. We will see each other again soon. Real soon.”

“As for these other wrestlers in OOWF who seem to want to get involved in my business…I suppose I can save a little for you too. Davin Moreland, you started something you will NOT be able to finish. You stuck your nose where it doesn’t belong. I gave you fair warning and you did not heed. Firewoman, oh Firewoman. I have not forgotten you after all this time. I will give you one warning. Stay out of my business, and I will stay out of yours. As I recall, you do still have some unfinished business here in Japan. I’d hate to have to do something about that.”

“SYB, I don’t know who you are, or why you dare speak of my moon goddess Selena, but if you really wish to experience the pain I bring, then so be it. I do not find you funny, nor will you find me funny as I leave you in a bloody pulp in the center of the ring…or hallway, or your very own dressing room. So keep up your moronic diatribes and remember to keep one eye open, for that heartbeat you hear may not be your own as it gets louder…louder…louder.”

Poe grins and looks back to Selena.

Poe: “As for my opponent in Taipei…I feel sorry for him. He’s done nothing to deserve what I’m going to do to him. But he will be a message for Alexander and everyone else in the OOWF who stands in my way. Until next week…Namesdeh.”

Selena looks to the camera and breath fully says “Nevermore”




OOC: Poem lyrics taken from “The Bells” by Edgar Allen Poe…I cite my sources haha.

[Capellan]

SFJ#14 seeks out Capellan.

"Cap, you seem to be deliberately baiting Moosehead Jack. Some people have suggested you have a heretofore unknown death wish. Care to comment?"

"Heretofore?" Capellan raises his eyebrows.

"What? I have a journalism degree as well as great tits, you know."

"Well to answer your question: no, I don't have a death wish. If I did, there would be easier ways to indulge it than by annoying Moose. It's all part of my strategy."

"... your strategy is to be a lightweight buffoon who doesn't know what he's getting into?"

"If that's how Moose wants to see me, he's more than welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, Kim Possible is on."

SFJ#14 watches him go. She shakes her head.

"So pretty. So dumb. So doomed."

... but maybe that's just what Cap wants her to think?



OOC: No, I have no idea where I'm going with this.

[Fire-Babe]

We switch to the inside of the Run-DEA suites. Phantos is sitting, staring off into space. Firewoman and Lucky are flipping between watching tapes of Blitz's matches and the latest OOWF stuff. Lucios is just kind of there...

Lucky: Guess Poe remembers you.

FW: Yeah... Not too many people have ever told him "no." It'd be kind of unforgettable.

Lucky starts the last bit of video on Blitz. Firewoman plays absent-mindedly with her lighter.

FW: Oh, geez, enough, Lucky. It's the same stuff. He hasn't changed since we started. This is boring, where is everyone?

Lucky: Probably 'negotiating' about your trashcan incident.

FW: What incident? That's how you're supposed to dispose of bloody clothing. Approriate biohazard protocols! It says so right here!

Firewoman holds up a book entitled When All Hell Breaks Loose: Stuff You Need To Survive When Disaster Strikes.

FW: It's right before the directions on how to dispose of a corpse. [She flips to the appropriate page]

Lucky: I'm pretty sure it doesn't say in a trashcan, in an arena...

FW: No, it says to do it where you can. At the end of the world, you can't be picky. You'll be glad I have this book in 2012....

Lucios: What happens in 2012.

FW: Helloooo? Mayan calendar ends? End of the world???

Phantos: .....

FW: What's with you, Captain Phantastic?

Lucios: He's been that way since....Mayhem.

FW: Oh....Well, I could try talking to him...

Lucios: Um, I'm not sure....

Lucky: C'mon...let's go see where everyone is...

Lucky and a reluctant Lucios leave. Firewoman sits directly across from Phantos. Her demeanor changes from usual snarky Firewoman to ... well...maybe nice? Supportive? Empathetic?

FW: Look...we are in a dangerous business. Even though there are rules and stuff for safety...shit can happen. We all know that when we sign up, and Johnny Adrenaline isn't any different. He knew that accidents could happen. We all do. And that's all it was, Phantos, an accident. I was watching, I could tell.

P: ....

FW: I know what Attitude Aduster said, and he's just upset. If anything like that happened to one of my partners...well, I think we both know what I'd probably say or do.

P: ...

FW: When he calms down, he'll watch the tape again, and he'll see. You didn't do it on purpose. And Johnny will know that too. Hell, he's still not mentioned my flamethrower trick...

P: ...

FW: Look...even if you did...It's not the end of the world. Sometimes, when you're in the ring, and the adrenaline...er...well, you know what I mean.... gets flowing....you don't know what you're doing. You just react to whatever is happening. Raw survival instinct takes over and you find yourself doing things.....

Firewoman's voice trails off, and then she remembers where she is. She looks at Phantos who may have looked at her for a minute, but she can't tell if she got any kind of reaction or got through to him.

FW: Well...you're not like that. It was an accident. Don't sweat it. I'm going to play some darts....

Lucky and Lucios come in, and Lucky is carrying the OOWF yearbook. He gives it to Firewoman who flips through it, then rips a page out and puts it on the dartboard. It's a picture of Blitz.

FW: Wanna play some darts, Luscious?

Lucios: It's Lu-ci-os.

FW: Do you wanna play or not?

Lucios: Sure.

They take turns throwing darts at the picture. Both of them are equally good at hitting various important targets, until the picture is pretty much gone.

Lucios: Well, now what do we do. Another picture?

FW: Yeah, let's finish this one off first. Get a dart.

They each take one. Firewoman lights both of them on fire.

Lucios: Wait, I don't think this is ...

FW: Okay, one-two-three throw!

Lucios throws anyway. They both hit a bullseye, and the picture goes up in flames. Lucios and Firewoman high five each other as Lucky hurries to dowse the flames.

P: ...

Lucios: Okay, who's next?

FW: Your choice. [She hands him the yearbook.]

[Jobber Blitz]

*Firewoman is Walking~! When she finds Blitz meditating in a corner.*

Firewoman: What are you doing?

B: It's a Buddhist meditation technique, focuses your aggression. The monks used to do it before they went into battle.

FW: What kind of Buddhism is this?

B: The best kind. The type you do before going into important battles. Battles for gold. That’s what I’m after, Firewoman. You’re Onslaught Championship.

FW: You’ve just been teaming with The Dead just because you’re afraid of me. You know I can beat you.

B: My partnership with The Dead was only a short term alliance. Hell, you can’t even call it a partnership. Because I’ve learnt my lesson when it comes to tag-teams. They don’t last. Remember the central message of Buddhism: Every man for himself.

FW: Since when have you been Buddhist?

B: Hey, I’m an intellectual. Not many people may know that, but I’m in touch with my spiritual side.

FW: That’s sounds stupid.

B: Don’t call me stupid.

FW: I didn’t call you stupid.

B: So you apologize?

FW: I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.

B: OK.

*Blitz lifts Firewoman from where she has been dangling outside the window on the third floor. As soon as she is lifted up she smashes Blitz with several stiff punches, gives him a DDT on the concrete floor and leaves after giving him a few kicks for good measure.

Blitz staggeringly gets to his feet and walks down the hallway, smirking. As he passes OOWF TV he sees Fire’s promo.*

B: So now she’s watching tape of my past matches. Really, I didn’t know she had such a short memory. Has she forgotten our months of feuding? Has she forgotten our grueling matches that were so brutal one of the participants now thinks he’s a bunny and another is on permanent job squad status? I don’t need to watch tape for our title match this week, Fire. I have the first-hand experience. I know exactly how good you are. How hard it will be for me to win. And yet, when everything is said and done, I will be the one walking out of Taiwan with the OOWF Onslaught Championship.

And as for you throwing darts at my photo? Resorting to such childish things? I’m above that. I’ll be preparing for the most important match of my career the proper way. God damn it, someone get me my Stormy Daniels DVD.

[Fire-Babe]

OOC: Dude, she just spent a week at a Buddhist/Shinto shrine in Japan. I think she knows about Buddhism.

[Deadly]

[The Dead is sitting in Bennett's office alongside Eric and Moosehead Jack.]

Dead: Right, so Capellan is a non-factor, really.

Moose: Exactly.

Dead: And that over-grown child Crete will be taken care of...

Eric: Yeah, I wouldn't lose any sleep over that freak.

Dead: And The Dead has the opportunity to take out the former tag champs and that other guy, umm...what's his name? Fire....something. The Dead knows it's not the whiny "I command respect but fail to have any of my own" Onslaught champ, so it must be that other loser....Firechild! That's it!

Eric: Didn't you beat that guy two or three weeks in a row not too long ago?

Dead: That's right! The Dead did beat the hell out of that chump on multiple occasions.

Moose: And it seems Phantos is shell-shocked. Hell, this could turn into a three-on-one.

[Just then MacCappington and Ryan Hardcore enter the office.]

Ryan: Did someone just say threesome?

Dead: Not exactly.

FF: So, you're our partner this week. I'll have you know that The World's Greatest Fag Team has yet to lose, and I plan on keeping it that way.

Dead: Not a problem. The only time The Dead loses is for storyline adv...

[Kayfabe storms in.]

Dead: Nevermind.

[Placated, Kayfabe leaves.]

Dead: The point is, this one's in the bag.

LJB: Excellent. It appears everything is in order.

[Everyone smiles and heads out on their separate ways. TWGFT catches The Dead in the hallway.]

FF: Come with us. We have things to discuss. The Fortress of Snobbery is in excellent condition at the moment.

[The three head to the FoS as the camera fades.]

[Jobber Blitz]

OOC: Since when does anyone actually read your promos?

But seriously, Blitz didn't even explain anything about Buddhism to her, he was just being an idiot. It didn't some off as Fire being stupid. I guess it just doesn't work when you quote films in written form.

And finally, go fuck yourself.

[Eric O'Mac]

OOC: EXALT! We need to recruit Blitz for Team Bennett. He's quickly becoming one of my favorites.

[Fire-Babe]

May 19, 2008 11:23:03 GMT -5 Jobber Blitz said:

But seriously, Blitz didn't even explain anything about Buddhism to her, he was just being an idiot.

OOC: well, duh...yeah

[Jack Quinn]

<Crete is walking down the hall (is that all we ever do?) when he is stopped by a young man dressed in a couriers outfir>

YM: Excuse me, are you a Mr. Concrete Takaken Gryfon?

CTG: Yes I am, who are you?

YM: I am with the Acme Singing telegram service, Taiwan branch, I have a singing telegram for you

CTG: They still do those?

YM: Will you accept the message?

CTG: Yeah sure, <Crete digs into his pockets and tosses the young man some change>

<the young man takes out a kazoo or whatever the hell those are to get the pitch>

YM: mi mi mi <ahem>

Roses are red,
violets are blue
thumbtacks to the head
that’s something for you
all part of the plan
to match you cut for cut
so right where you stand
I want you to look up

<Crete looks up, and strains to see what the courier was talking about>

CTG: I don’t see anything…..

<Crete looks down and Moosehead Jack is standing right where the courier was, glaring at Crete with rage>

CTG: Uh oh

<Moose BLASTS Crete between the eyes with a barbed wire baseball bat. Crete falls to the floor and Moose drills him repeatedly with shots to the back that leave long tears across his back. Moose pulls Crete to his feet and hits a HEART PUNCH! Then kicks a stunned Crete and drops him on the barbed wire bat with a DDT. Moose gets to his feet and looks down at a twitching Crete>

MHJ: This has been fun. We should catch up like this more often. Maybe you will think twice next time you want to hand out pictures.

<Moose emphasizes the last point with a kick to the mouth, then turns around and walks away>

[Eric O'Mac]

*Eric and Tyson Kincaid are walking by when they notice a still twitching Concrete. Eric is carrying some brass knuckles, yet looks disappointed as he arrives on the scene.*

Eric: Damn! Moose must have beat us to it.

*Eric shrugs and kicks Crete one good time and walks off with Kincaid.*