[Jobber Blitz]

***OOC***

Justin Sane is my new favourite wrestler.

[Attitude Adjuster]

** OOC ***

Justin Sane is back? Sounds like it's time for me to start writing matches again!

[Jack Quinn]

that is a bully idea!

[rabbxt]

**OOC - I wasn't even around during the JUSTIN SANE ERA!! and I'm happy that he's back. Lawlerz.**

**Bunny is kind of just walking through the halls. He sees the scene with Justin Sane and squeals in excitement.**

Bunny: I love that guy!

Alexander Darling: Faggot.

Bunny: What!?

Alex: Baggett?

Bunny: Yes, please.

Alex: Too bad, fucknarc.

**Alexander slaps Bunny across the face with the baggett, then leaves to take care of more important bussiness.**

Bunny: I quit, wahh!!

[The Knife]

The Knife is standing on top of a cathedral wearing his robes

TK- Bunny...I have beaten you...I have punished you....I have taken you to the edge of your breaking point...and yet you continue to not follow me and the ways I preach. I don't want to hurt you. I want to save you! I want to save your soul!

In the TLC Hell In A Cell, you will see Hell. You will see what the fires and torments of Hell are like and you will know what eternity will be for you if you don't see the ways of the Lord.

On Sunday you will see Hell.

You will fear Hell.

And you will know the true love and glory of God. And I am the right hand of God and you will fear God. And you will fear me.

Sunday...will be your day of reckoning...

[rabbxt]

**Bunny cuts a rather still promo.**

Bunny: Knife, I want you to pray to your God. I want you to pray that he comes and saves you. I want lightning to come down and crash upon my fucking head. I know that you're praying right now, Knife. Pray louder. Louder! I don't feel anything...

**Bunny puts on an act, stumbling around like he's posessed.**

Bunny: Ah, I feel it. Ah, great God almighty! I repent, I repent! I feel the love of the God, God, God almighty! Oh, the Holy Spirit is in my body...

**Bunny stops stumbling around, gets face-to-lense with the camera, and is nothing but serious.**

Bunny: I am the Devil. And I am here to do the Devil's work.

**Bunny puts his paw over the camera to cut to black.**

**Basically all of these words were stolen from The Devil's Rejects. **

[wld]

**L.D. Williams exits the Fortress of Snobbery to get some air, and SFJ#27 is waiting for him.**

SFJ#27: “L.D., It’s surprising to see you at a social event. I have to ask, why are you here?”

LD: “Cappington has the right idea trying to get everyone on the same page. That, and he serves good beer.”

SFJ#27: “Last week, you successfully defended the World Title against Ecosystem and injured him, possibly ending his career, in the process.

LD: “Eco was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have nothing against Eco. If and when he ever returns, I’ll be first in line to shake his hand and welcome him back.”

SFJ#27: “Before the match, you said that you were going to hurt Eco in retaliation for what happened to Johnny Adrenaline…”

LD: “That was part of it. Now that Rick has some people on his side that know what a war is, it’s time to prove how far we’re willing to go. We all know that Moose is nuts, we know that Cole has no conscience, and we know that Eric is, well, Eric. People need to realize that L.D. Williams is part of this army, and I am as dangerous as any man alive.”

SFJ#27: “So you’re now putting Bennett’s cause first?”

LD: “Not a chance in hell. That line about there being no I in team? I’m Canadian – we spell things with extra letters. The World title is the culmination of the last three years of my life. Nothing and no one comes before it. In the process of defending the title, however, I will do whatever I have to to ensure that we win the war.”

SFJ#27: “You are obviously convinced that L.J. Bennett is the best option for the future of the OOWF.”

LD: (shaking his head)“You don’t get it. It’s not about right or wrong or good or evil. Ask Stank. Ask Moose. Ask Outback Jack. This is war. Truth be told, there are people on Rick’s side that I’d rather share a drink with than people on Bennett’s side. But, I will do everything in my power to win this war, not because our hearts are pure and our cause is just, or however ‘Crete would put it, but because this is the side I’ve chosen, and I will not accept failure.”

SFJ#27: “Speaking of Outback Jack, do you have any thoughts on your match this week?”

LD: “If the OOWF let me pick my own challengers, Outback Jack would be at the top of the list. He is always a challenge and always a threat. A match against Jack is a good night – if you survive. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m sure Zabka is doing something amusing that I’m missing.”

[Jobber Blitz]

TO ALL MEMBERS OF TEAM NEUTRAL,
YOU ARE ALL MOST CORDIALLY INVITED
TO BLITZ'S LOCKER-ROOM
FOR A TEAM NEUTRAL MIXER.
WITH SPECIAL GUEST
HOLLYWOOD'S GINA LYNN!
COME TONIGHT FOR FOOD, DRINKS AND GOOD TIMES!

AND

HOLLYWOOD'S GINA LYNN!!!

*Blitz is waiting in his locker-room for guests to arrive.*

B: Ah, The Nerve Agent and Voltage. Splendid to see you here tonight.

V: …

TNA: …

B: I hope we’ve put all our past issues aside, Nerve, so we can enjoy this Team Neutral Mixer.

TNA: …

B: Not much of a talker, hey? Well, I hope you can at least appreciate the universal language of food, drinks and pornography that shall be on display tonight.

*Gina Lynn and Well Hung Male Pornstar#1 arrives and start acting out a scene. Justin Sane enters the room.*

JS: Dudes, I heard there was a party going on. Jerry Lynn was going to be here, I heard?

B: No, but she is.

JS: That’s even better.

*Mark Vander ambles in and takes a seat to watch the action. The Nerve Agent and Voltage are paying no attention to the entertainment, and both of them are eating as if they haven’t had any food in days.*

B: How nice of you to come, Mark. Now I think the Neutrals need to talk strategy.*

MV: …

JS: You know, watching live porn isn’t as good as I thought it would be.

B: …

JS: …

B: Well I trust you must at least have some narcotics to liven up this party.

JS: Nah dude, I’m off that shit.

B: Well that sucks, I mean good for you.

*Gina is spreading her ass cheeks, which Blitz and Sane find rather disgusting when viewed close-up. WHMP1 is preparing to spear her ass, when Beast pops out of Gina’s ass and spears WHMP1! Gina screams and runs away while WHMP1 is very winded, still lying on the floor.*

Blitz: That motherfucker scares me.

*Beast gores the locker-room wall, and takes out Poe, who was walking by and was presumably on his way in. Beast gets up and runs away, running into more walls.*

Blitz: And I thought he was dead. Random British Butler, come here! Where is Gaelic Storm?

RBB: In a pub sir, they say they can’t be bothered with you losers.

B: What’s a pub?

RBB: A shopping-mall.

*Tytan enters.*

Dr: Ultimo. Perfection. War. Steroids.

J: Hey dude.

DR: Ultimo. Perfection. War. Steroids.

*Mark Vander, The Nerve Agent and Voltage have all stopped moving.*

B: So I guess it’s just you and me, Justin. Justin?

*Justin Sane is furtively trying to wrestle a mop. The mop strikes him in the groin and rolls him up for 3.*

B: Aww, fuck this, I’m going to accept Team Bennet’s offer. Butler, please allow these gentlemen to stay, but have them all cleared out before Mayhem starts.

Dr: Ultimo. Perfection. War. Steroids.
*Blitz makes his way towards the Mobile Fortress of Snobbery. As he steps in, Ryan Hardcore immediately smashes his head with the steel dildo.*

RH: Intruder! Attack!

FFM: Ah, let’s teach these Neutral Invaders a lesson.

*Everyone in the room attacks Blitz, except The Dead, who doesn’t want his tag team partner this week to get injured, although he makes no move to stop everyone from beating up Blitz, and Moose and LJ Bennet, who know that Blitz is probably there to join Team Bennet.*

LJB: Stop you crazy bastards, he’s with us!

*No-one pays any attention as MacCappington hacks away with his Halberd. Moose calmly steps between Team Bennet and Blitz.*

MHJ: Gentlemen, I do believe that Blitz came here to join Team Bennet.

*Everyone calms down, but Blitz is already unconscious after taking dildos, Halberds and Chain Elbows.*

DV: So he’s with us now?

MHJ: Unless he minds being brutally attacked for no reason by men who are supposed to be his allies.

*Everyone looks down at Blitz, who is in no shape to confirm where his alliances lie.*

[wld]

**OOC**

First Justin returns and now Blitz reveals that he's been attending clases at the Blown Spot School of Promo Writing. It's going to be an interesting week for the OOWF.

Welcome back Doug, and great job Blitz!

[rabbxt]

**OOC - I've been digging the Blitz promos ever since we switched over to Pun's House. It's a shame it took him that long to actually participate.**

[blownspot]

CTG - There it is.



Stank - THAT'S where they are staying?

CTG - According to the pilot back on the mainland, yes.

Stank - This is some shit. I don't know HOW the OOWF attracts so many rich motherfuckers. I mean... I do okay... but DAMN!

CTG - I know, right?

Stank - I mean we got what... Davin with all his endorsement deals, Alex and his sister...

CTG - Don't forget your ex partner.

Stank - Right... MacCAPingTON and now LOOK AT THIS.

CTG - I'll take us in for a closer view.



Stank - Eric and his boy are down there somewhere... rich bastard. HOW the fuck does HE afford to stay here? Too bad he couldn't afford to bribe that charter pilot not to reveal his location.

CTG - I guess it DOESN'T pay to be rude.

Stank - Whatever... WAIT is that Kincaid?



CTG - Down there on the kayak? It kind of looks like him?

Stank - Damn. Look at that tan. He's almost as dark as me.

CTG - Ha.

Stank - Circle us around and let's land this sucker.



CTG - I can't believe you convinced me to do this. Sneak attacking our foes is not my style.

Stank - Well if it helps you feel any better, there are ninja cameramen about. If Eric is watching the ever vigilant OOWF TV, he probably knows we're here.

CTG - WHAT? Well this was for nothing!

Stank - We're on a private island resort. Even if we don't get Eric or the rookie, there's no reason we can't make the best of it.

<Crete lands the plane. Moments later he, Stank and SFJ#3 are walking into the hotel lobby.>

CTG - I still don't know why SFJ#3 is here?

Stank - Emily? I don't know. I thought I might want some company.

CTG - I didn't think we were going to stay here.

Stank - Look at this place, Crete.

CTG - But we're here to do a ruthless deed.

Stank - And after that is done... I might want some company.

CTG - You're insane. You know that?

Stank - What...? I would've brought you one if I thought you'd... you know.

CTG - What is THAT supposed to mean?

Stank - Do you... do you even... LIKE women?

CTG - OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Stank - I've never seen you with a woman.

CTG - Stank PLEASE! Let's just get this over with!

Stank - Fine. Fine. Continue to avoid the issue.

CTG - Avo-? I'M NOT AVOIDING the ISSUE!

Stank - Ok. Whatever you say, Crete.

CTG - OH DON'T YOU "whatever you say, Crete" ME! I'm ALL MAN! I'll DO SFJ#3 RIGHT HERE in FRONT of EVERYONE!

Stank - Go ahead. Drop your pants.

CTG - What... right here... in front of everyone?

Stank - I'm waiting.

SFJ#3 - I'm not.

<SFJ#3 goes for Crete's pants!>

CTG - UNHAND me WOMAN! STOP IT!

Stank - OK, that proves it.

CTG - Proves WHAT?

Stank - You're gay.

CTG - I AM NOT! I just have... standards.

Stank - Whatever queerie. Let's go.

CTG - I AM NOT VIPER!

Stank - HA!

<Stank and Crete approach the desk clerk.>

Clerk - Ah more patrons from the OOWF.

Stank - You've seen more of us here?

Clerk - Yes... In fact Mr O'Mac is getting a therapy session in our massage suite, as we speak. Shall I send word of your arrival?

Stank - That won't be necessary. How long has he been in there?

Clerk - Oh not too long.

Stank - Do us a favor and don't tell him we're here. It's a surprise.

<The clerk smiles a toothy grin.>

Clerk - I understand. Please enjoy your stay.

CTG - One other thing. Mr. O'Mac's friend...?

Clerk - Ah yes... Mr. Kincaid. He's out kayaking on the beach front.

Stank - Excellent. Which way to our rooms.

Clerk - Follow this young lady. She will take you to your rooms.

CTG - Is she single?

Clerk - As a matter of fact she is.

CTG - Good. I think I will ask HER out!

Stank - ...

CTG - On a DATE!

Stank - Fine. Can we go now? Let's take care of business first. Miss, you can show Emily to my room. Crete and I will be heading to the spa area. I've got a kink in my neck.

YL - The spa suites are down the hall and over to the right.

CTG - Thank you miss. Are you doing anything later tonight?

<The big man yanks Crete down the hallway.>

Stank - C'MON Romeo!

<Following the directions given, Stank and Crete arrive at the massage suite only to find that... Eric O'Mac is not there.>



Stank - Where is he?

CTG - I don't understand... the clerk said he was here.

EOM - I may not have been able to bribe the charter pilot...

<Stank and Crete whirl around to face Eric O'Mac, Tyson Kincaid, and four, rather large, Filipino locals... one of them is a woman.>

EOM - ... but the desk clerk and the locals here LIKE my money... Get em!

Stank - Oh shit.

<The locals engage Concrete TG and Stank in battle! Kincaid and O'Mac walk away.>

TK - Uh... we're not going to help those guys kick ass?

EOM - Why should we risk injury before the PPV?

TK - ... but... we could hurt them before the match.

EOM - Don't think too much Tyson... Those guys have got it under control. They will hurt them ple... OH SHIT!! DUCK!!

<The large Filipino woman comes FLYING uncontrollably toward O'Mac and Kincaid, bowling them over and to the floor. They struggle to push the big woman off of them and stare up at Stank. Crete is standing next Stank with one of the large Filipino men in a headlock. Crete smashes his fist into the Filipino man's face and drops him to the floor.>

Stank - You having fun yet?

<Crete stands next to Stank, fists on his hips, chest out, his nose pointed up and to the left.>

Stank - Don't do that.

<Crete drops his arms and points at Eric O'Mac and Kincaid, crawling on their butts, backwards, scurrying away from their enemies.>

CTG - Now EVIL doers... you shall FACE our WRATH!

Stank - Seriously Crete...

<O'Mac and Kincaid pick themselves up and run down the hall. Stank and Crete give chase.>

CTG - AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!

Stank - You INSIST on ruining this for me... DON'T YOU?

CTG - IT'S CLOBBERING TIME!

<Hours later the sun is setting and Stank wakes up, Bloody battered and bruised on the beautiful white sands of the Amanpulo resort island beach. Not too far away lies Eric O'Mac, also bloody and bruised. They both sit up and stare daggers at one another, but with no fight left in them. A few moments later Kincaid washes up on shore in no better condition than the other two men. O'Mac staggers to his feet, stumbles over and collects his partner. He points at Stank.>

EOM - W.. we... we will FINISH this... a.. at the pay-per-view.

Stank - y..you bet!

<O'Mac and Kincaid stumble off to their suites. Stank staggers to his feet in search of Crete. He arrives at Crete's room, knocks once, then enters. It's dark so he flips on a light...>

Stank - WHOA!

CTG - HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE??

Stank - I'm sorry man... I.. I didn't know... ... ...?

<Crete, with signs of bruising on his face, lies naked under a sheet. The young Filipino lady from before, peeks out from under the sheet on Crete's left side.>

Stank - Crete! You SLY dog.

<SFJ#3 also peeks out from under the sheet on Crete's right side.>

Stank - CRETE! YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'M GOING TO KILL Y-

<The large Filipino woman from the fight earlier, comes strolling out of the bathroom naked.>

Stank - ...

CTG - ...

Stank - ... ok now THAT's just fucking nasty...

CTG - Jealous?

Stank - Yes.

[Road Warrior Shark]

(WE see Phantos hang up his Touch by HTC Sprint PCS Phone and put it back into it’s case. He strolls across the Aquafina Run DEA Luxury Suites and climbs on the trampoline. Lucios walks in and watches Phantos on the Trampoline for a moment, before grabbing a remote and flipping on OOWF-TV on the Sony Multimedia Center. Phantos Somersaults off the trampoline and grabs a bottle of Aquafina. )

Lucios: So… are you… ok?

Phantos: I guess.

Lucios: Still talking to Arbus?

Phantos: Yeah, He likes it when I call him Dr. Freedman.

Lucios: That’s more than a little odd.

Phantos: SHUT UP! DON’T TALK ABOUT DR. FREEDMAN LIKE THAT!

Lucios: OK. OK. Ok. Listen, I’d really like you to watch some tape this week. We haven’t had a tag team match in a couple of weeks now, and I’d like to review some of our basic strategies. Then we should hit the gym and work off a little rust.

Phantos: Dr. Freedman says I really shouldn’t let anything.. or Anyone control my life

Lucios: Good for Dr. Freedman.

Phantos: I don’t think I want to work out or watch any tape. I want to control my life for once. And My life needs some pizza right now. Tell Davin I’m taking the Dunkin Donuts Limousine.

(Phantos heads out the door. Firewoman and Davin appear on screen just as Phantos walks out.)

Davin: How’s the captain coming along?

Lucios: I wish I knew.

Firewoman: Look, he’ll be just fine. He needs some time and space. You up for some yoga? It’s great for the heart rate and flexibility.

Lucios: Sure. Lead the way.

(Firewoman and Lucios walk through a door. Davin shakes his head and we fade to black)

[Demko]

(We see the room that Firewoman and Lucios walk into. The room looks like an empty-floored gym, but it is unexpectedly dark, with black lights all around the room. There is loud booming bass music playing, giving the effect of a rave. We can see two men standing in the middle of the room, wearing t-shirts that reflect the black light. One t-shirt says "The System is Down". The smaller figure is wearing a shirt that says "Trogdor!" Firewoman reaches for the walk and flicks on the lights. A record scratches, as the music stops. The Amnesiac and Monkh are working out, but both stop and blink confusedly.)

FW: What the hell?

Amn: What?

FW: What the hell are you two doing here in the dark?

Amn: We're working out. Getting ready for our match tomorrow. What are you doing?

FW: Well, we were about to go do some yoga. Why were the lights off?

Amn: Well, you told me to think outside the box when getting ready for this match.

FW: THIS is outside the box?

Amn: Well, I coulda gone to meet Michael Winslow last night, but I decided against it. Monkh and I started a new 'Rave Workout' program.

FW: How does working out in a dark room with loud techno music help you workout?

(Monkh begins laughing.)

FW: What?

Amn: Oh... it's just that... well, have you ever been to a rave, Fire?

FW: I've been to raves in my time.

Amn: And, have you ever seen the people coming out of a rave?

FW: Yes.

Amn: What do they always have in common?

FW: Um... they're high?

Amn: NO! They're always sweating up a storm!

(Firewoman thinks on this for a moment. Lucios pipes up.)

L: Actually, he's got a point.

Amn: See? A rave environment makes for a good working out environment.

(Firewoman shakes her head and sighs. They just turn around, turn the lights back off, and walk back out of the room. The music mysteriously comes back on, but as the camera follows them, we can now see, by the light of the door that Fire and Lucios left through that the techno bass music is actually just Michael Winslow making noises into a microphone.)

[Tommy]

*Davin Moreland appears back on camera wearing his "Club Technochocolate" T-shirt he got from the Amnesiac. Alexander and Alexis Darling come strolling in to the Run DEA Suites, presented by Aquafina; Alexander is taped up and wearing his facemask. Davin is taped up too, mostly around his left knee, which is also braced*

AD: Where's Firewoman?

DM: Nice to see you too.

AD: Go fuck yourself.

DM: One nice big happy family we have here.

LD: Brother dear, do me a favor and shut the fuck up please.

*Alexander fumes*

DM: I think they're doing yoga.

AD: YOGA?!?!

DM: *He Shrugs* that's what they said anyway.

AD: Well, what am I supposed to do in the meantime?

DM: Well, you could always go fuck yourself.

*Alexander lunges toward Davin but is cut off by Alexis*

LD: No. Stop. Davin, you cut the shit too.

DM: Yes mom.

LD: Seriously. I've had about enough of you two. The whole point of this whole thing was so we could all pull together.

DM: I thought the whole point was so you two wouldn't have to beg Daddy for money.

AD: You've got a fucking death wish today, don't you.

DM: Oh, TRY me tough guy.

AD: *stands up* Let's go then.

DM: *points across the room* IT'S A RAVEN!

*Alexander ducks looking wide-eyed; Davin is nearly pissing himself with laughter*

LD: What the fuck is your problem today?

DM: My problem? My problem is that we're all being set up like a motherfucker and no one sees it. I said that people were plotting with Bennett to take over the company; and everyone wrote me off as crazy. I said "The Lower Midcard" Chris Cole was no good from the start, and no one believed me. We're about ready to get bumrushed by Bennett. We haven't seen anything yet. Bennett hasn't even barely tried to exert any power yet. We've gotten off easy.

LD: Easy? We're getting attacked after every match.

DM: Wait until he starts to order the refs to reverse decisions, or worse yet, listen to Eric O'wnedbyBunny and starts handing out suspensions for no reason. Guess who's at the top of the list for that?

AD: What's your point?

DM: My POINT is, we need even more cohesion. We need strategy sessions. We're still too fractured to be effective. Run DEA was just one instance of that. I'm not going to sit idly by and watch my career go down the shitter because people are too afraid to do anything but accept the status quo.

LD: You with your Latin.

DM: Like Quid Pro Quo? All that means is give something to get something. Like how I gave you a tag partner for your brother, and you gave me the merge.

LD: Wait...wait? I gave YOU? No...you gave me...

DM: Yeah, well, let's just call it a mutual work and move on with it.

LD: *looks a little puzzled, but then figures out and nods confidently* Well played.

DM: Anyway; in case you both hadn't noticed, I've got Match 7 in a cage this week with Cole. Obviously, this means I'm favored, because Cole will actually have to wrestle me by himself, without Eric O'wnedbyBunny and the rest. I'm confident; but I cannot lose this. It would be a real blow to our side. But, as far as I'm concerned; this might be my only shot at the World Title for who knows how long? I need to take advantage of it for my own career. So, knee or no knee; concussion or no concussion, I'll be there Sunday, and I'm gonna win, no matter the cost.

AD: Did you just cut a promo?

DM: It looks that way, huh? At least it will get lost among the actual good promos.

LD: That's something you never have to worry about.

DM: Nice.

AD: Is there anyone in the gym?

DM: Don't think so.

LD: Good. I need to workout. C'Mon brother dear.

*Alexander stares down Davin before he leaves*

DM: *starts dialing on his Sprint PCS Phone* Hey man. Yeah it's me. She's good man, she's good. Hey listen, how would you feel about coming out here? Nah don't worry about it; I cantake care of it. Sure. Plan on getting here after the PPV tomorrow. Alright. Later.

*he hangs up*

*fade*

[fasteddie]

...and now a word form our sponser...

(The camera comes up onto a large yacht sitting out in the ocean. As the camera pans in you can see Mr. Johnathan Steel standing outside.)

Mr. Steel: Welcome to Ultimo Inc. mobile training facility. Yes, it is the night before the PPV as Tytan is still training. It seems business for my company has picked up since out arrival into the OOWF. This is very good got me because I am just going to make more money off you.

(Mr. Steel begins to walk and the ninja cameraman follows.)

Now you are probably wondering why I brought you here. It's simple I wanted to show you what my company can offer you and anyone that is a member of the OOWF. I can give you access to the most cutting edge technology in the world of training.

(They head downstairs where ninja camera man sees what is the equivalent of a training facility. He pans over and sees Tytan meeting with a team of trainers and two of them are giving him injections, one in each arm. The camera man pans in to see, and Mr. Steel notices and quickly covers the camera with his hand.

Mr. Steel: That part of this interview will never air. That is some of the trade secrets of Ultimo Inc. and it is not what you think.

Cameraman: You mean to tell me that is not steroids?

Mr. Steel: No. We don't go that route to give Tytan that kind of advantage. In fact (He looks over to Tytan.) Tytan why don't you show this cameraman that you don't use steroids.

(Tytan smiles and begins to make his way toward them. First at a walk and then he begins to run. The camera man notices that he is in trouble so he turns and begins to try to run. He sees that Tytan is gaining on him so he drops the camera. The video continues to run as the camera records the cameraman getting speared by Tytan, who then picks him up and puts him into a full nelson and carries him over to Mr. Steel who is now joined by Dr. Podvod. One of the trainers picks up the camera and aims it at Steel, Podvod, and Tytan who is still holding the Ninjacamera man.)

Steel : Now let me makes this clear to you, Mr. Vander and all of the OOWF. Ultimo Inc. is here for business, and if that means we have to hurt a cameraman or a million of them to prove our point then we will.

Dr. Podvod: Tytan is the future of Wrestling. He is the prototype for the next generation of fighters, and if you don't believe us step in the ring with him and you will see for yourself.

(Mr. Steel turns and sees that the cameraman is about to pass out.)

Steel: Tytan release him. (He does and the cameraman drops to the floor. Steel moves out of the picture and comes back with something in his hand.) I think he learned is lesson, and to show you that I have no hard feelings. (He motions to Tytan to hold him up. He does and Steel proceeds to pull a Green Ultimo T-shirt over him.) I will give you the first of the new Line of Ultimo Inc T-shirts. This will be available at the pay-per-view and on line on our web site for a special price of $25.00 and if you order now. We will throw in a (reaches for a water bottle off the table which he opens and squirts onto the cameraman) and Ultimo Inc. Water bottle. So hurry up supplies are limited. And as for you Mr. Vander Tytan has something to say to you.

(The camera pans to Tytan who drops the cameraman down again.)

Tytan: Vander be ready for the Ultimate Beat down of your life.

Steel: Now lets send this cameraman and his equipment back to the mainland.

(He laughs as the feed goes to static.)

...Now back to you regularly scheduled program...

[Spinch]

(Spin Hansen is standing in front of the boiler in the arena.)

SH (directly to the camera): You may be wondering where my partner is right now. Why I'm not at the big party at the Destroyitarium. Why I'm here... in the boiler room... alone.

D.H. and Jack are busy representing Drink and Destroy and Team Rick as they do best... by drinking heavily and keeping morale up. I'm not so great at the whole morale thing, and I don't really feel like being so social right now. Honestly, I'm pretty damn pissed off. We go through torture to get those titles. We go through hell itself defending them against Empty Team. And then we're slated to take on BAD– wounded or not. Second deathmatch in a row. Then all of a sudden, we're not just up against Wrath and McNasty, we're being attacked by the Black Fucking Donnellys. We lose.

I've been down here training. Focusing on my weaknesses. I even called a mentor of mine... the one who gave me this. (He hefts his crowbar.) I've even trained with my old associate in the Redman suit who happens to be wrestling around here.

Am I gonna whine and say it's not fair? Fuck no. That's not me. I am going to do this, though. I'm going to give one warning.

You took what's ours. We're taking it back. Why?

Because we're the Midnight Sons. You may run your mouths about the seven Celtic nations. Well, you know what? We've got the blood of warriors in our veins, too– warriors who, back in the day, invaded your precious islands and settled your largest cities. Warriors who were never actually driven out of the islands. Warriors whose methods had to be COPIED before your people became competent warriors. The Norsemen, in essence, taught your people all that they know of fighting.

Well, we might not live in Scandinavia... but that doesn't mean that you're not going to be taught another lesson. A lesson in humility.

And there's not a damn thing that you can do about it.

(OOC: Not trying to be a prick or anything with this... just letting Spin's heelish side shine through a little bit again, conveniently ignoring that the Viking settlers got their ASSES kicked by King Brian Boru, his son, and their warriors.)

[DevSop]

*Inside the OOWF Gym*

The camera fades in on the ring and we see a sweaty Alexander Darling sitting on one turnbuckle while an even sweatier Alexis Darling stands on the apron looking like she's about ready to pass out from exhaustion. It looks like the Darlings just went through an extensive workout and sparring session. Alexander takes a towel and wipes his brow before tossing it to the floor and jumping down off the turnbuckle. He leans over to his sister and whispers something to her and it seems like she’s asking him if he’s sure about it. Alexander nods and Alexis jumps off the apron and heads over to LonelyGirl15 and has a quick conversation with her. LG15 hands Alexis a microphone which she tosses to her brother before grabbing LG15 and quickly leaving the gym, making sure to turn off all the lights except for one section that illuminates only the corner of the ring. Alex heads to that corner and jumps on the turnbuckle and twirls the microphone before looking for the always-present ninja cameraman. He spots him and makes sure the camera is rolling.

Alexander Darling: Sadistic Madness…May 25, 2008…Manila, Philippines. That’s where we stand Poe. We’re going to make each other bleed, that is without question. We’re going to make each other suffer, it’s what we’ve always done. And we’re going to live to fight another day, it’s what we’re meant to do. You were once my friend, you will always be my teacher, but right now you’re my enemy. I know you take what happened that cold, dark night in Japan so many moons ago as a personal slight against you and in many ways it was, but it was personal FOR ME.

You truly may believe I turned my back on you, but it is impossible to turn your back on someone who refuses to look at you. Always walking in front Poe, always standing a step above, and always thinking you were deserving of respect without earning it. It’s almost fucking funny if it wasn’t so sad. The almighty Poe is the one who thinks he’s above everyone else. I went to Japan to make my own name, not use my name to get things handed to me. But it was you who convinced me that being Alexander DARLING would be best in the long-run.

What you did for me in Japan…I will always be grateful for that, but I will also hate you for everything about it till the day I fucking die. You made me into the man the OOWF has seen since my arrival. You are the one who taught me that no one is above facing repercussions if they slight you; not even if they are the most sadistic person in the company. You taught me that respect is never to be given away, it must be beaten into people. And Poe you will respect me before I kill you. I swear to god almighty himself, I will beat you to fucking death to get that from you.

So, yes…we will step into a ring quite like this and we will hit each other with everything we have, but I will NOT BEG for mercy from you. You will never hear me beg. I’d sooner die than ever give you the satisfaction. Just as I know you will sooner die than ever let me think that I am better than you. The problem with that is I already know it. I’m younger, I’m smarter, I’m faster, and I just want it more. Your time has past old man. It is time to realize that the name Poe does not hold the same fear to me that it once may have. People around here can make their snide jokes about what happened with your little bird and in some ways they wouldn’t be wrong. But it wasn’t an issue of fear Poe. It was an issue of unfinished business. Soon Poe…it will be finished and I will be left standing and then I will go on to complete my other unfinished business, first with Viper, then with Eric, and Moose…your day will come too.

Tomorrow is just the first of many upcoming battles Poe. We both know it. The question that remains will be just how far are you willing to go. Just how much are you going to be willing to sacrifice to prove your point. Will you be willing to sacrifice your moon goddess? I know what I’m willing to sacrifice, are you prepared to do the same? And just for old-times sake Poe…

BOOYAH BITCH!!!

[Concrete TG]

(Stank arrives at the arena for the PPV and sees Crete humming to himself as he lays out his uniform for the show)

Stank: .... I gotta know.

CTG: Know what?

Stank: I wanna know how the FUCK you had Emily and those other gals in your room!

CTG: Stank, do you honestly think that just because I read comic books that I'm still a virgin?

Stank: You act like a reject from Superfriends, so yeah i do.

CTG: Even the most public of superheroes have their own secrets,Stank.

Stank: Next thing you'll tell me is that you'll drink me under the table

CTG: Not quite. THAT one, you'll likely win.

Stank: All right, give me another secret.

CTG: Stank, we have a match to focus on.

Stank: Come on, Man.....

CTG: It's not something I dare repeat out loud.

Stank: Oh I get it, you're not tellin me cause you must be hung like a -

CTG: STANK, WE HAVE A MATCH TO PREPARE FOR......

Stank: ....fine.....

[Eric O'Mac]

*Fade in*

*We see Tyson Kincaid and Eric O'Mac sitting in the locker room, obviously beat up from their brawl on the islands with Stank and Concrete TG.*

TK: Eric, you haven't said much of anything since we've gotten back.

EOM: I'm pissed.

TK: I am too, but we'll get 'em back.

EOM: Oh, I know we'll get 'em back. That's not the issue. The issue is they obviously think that we are going to just accept this. I got away from the arena because of shit like this. I wanted to have a nice weeked away to relax, to get ready. But Stank, the fat son of a bitch, he couldn't just let us settle our issue in the ring.

TK: Haven't we been attacking them outside of the ring, too?

EOM: Don't contradict me.

TK: I'm sorry, but it just makes sense. They are playing the same game we've been playing and it just seems like they've figured out how to play it just as well as we have.

EOM: Look, buddy, these are the people who want to ruin us. I'm trying to get these mindless drones to realize that Rick has fucked up the OOWF and I'm trying to reverse it, but they insist on being pains in the ass. They won't see the situation the correct way. So instead of complimenting that they've made it THIS FAR...why don't you just prepare for tonight.

TK: What are you going to do?

EOM: Convince Bennett to suspend Stank and Crete. For going out to our hotel and attacking us.

TK: And if that doesn't work?

EOM: I don't expect it to work, mainly because our brawl was so damn awesome and we held our own against them. But I think Crete should get tested...I'm pretty sure that large Filipino woman has HIV.

TK: Damn.

EOM: Just get ready for hell tonight. And when we win tonight, the power will be with us.

*Fade out*

[Tommy]

***OOC: Nothing on me selling the injury Eric? Go fuck yourself, that's what.***

[Eric O'Mac]

I'm still in shock! Honest!

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

*The party at the Fortress of Snobbery is going along swimmingly. (Well, except for Blitz, who is still unconscious.) Zabka is chatting with the members of Bennett's Army and a bevy of SFJ's, waiters are passing out drinks and food, and a montor is showing OOWF-TV coverage of Rick's party with Michael Winslow, to the great amusement of the members of Bennett's Army. Then the phone rings, and Lance answers.*

Lance: McCappington residence...yes...yes...well, there are several of them here but I don't actually know their names...very well, sir, I shall enquire, please hold. (In a loud voice) AMANDA HUGGINKISS? I'M LOOKING FOR AMANDA HUGGINKISS!

Zabka: Sorry, I don't swing that way.

*A crestfallen Lance hangs up the phone as the crowd laughs*

FFM: Jeeves, I'm surprised you fell for that old trick. No doubt it was one of Rick's Men.

L: Well, he did have an Australian accent, and the background noise sounded very much like those vehicle sounds emanating from Mr. Winslow's mouth. *Points at the monitor, where Winslow is doing an impression of a man driving a forklift*

FFM: No doubt Outback Jack or Wally would consider such a pedestrian prank droll. Well, I suppose that's the best Rick's Men can do to disrupt our festivities.

*At that moment the massive front door of the Fortress is turned into splinters as a forklift driven by Outback Jack crashes through the entrance. D.H. Magnusson is riding shotgun. As the party guests dive for cover (except for the still unconscious Blitz) the forklift rolls up to the bar. OBJ, who has been listening to the audiobook version of Forklift Driving for Dummies, maneuvers the forks under the bar, lifts it up off the floor, and slams the forklift into reverse. FFM managed to get back on his feet and swing his halberd, but the cab of the forklift was wrapped in barbed wire fencing (courtesy of the Taipei Barbed Wire Company), blocking the attack.*

OBJ (drinks beer, belches): Australian for crashing a party!

*The forklift rolls back out through the ruined doorway, leaving a large gaping hole in front of the Fortress of Snobbery. Ironically, the removal of the bar revealed that Ryan Hardcore had just finished using the dildo on Lauren's ass again.*

[Jack Quinn]

F. Fonzworth MacCAppington III: They took the bar!The whole fucking bar!

<Eric tosses MacCAppington a fifth of Chavis Regal which FFM downs in one big gulp>

FFM: Thanks. I needed that.

Chris Cole: Christ. This is ridiculous.

Tyson Kincaid: What are we going to do?

EOM: Road trip.

SYB: You can't take the car! Skurge wrote the mileage down! He wants it back by Wednesday. Please don't take the car! He'll be very mad at me!

Cole: Get in.

SYB: don't you understand? He wants it back by Wednesday!

Bennett’s Men pile into the car, rock music blares on the speakers)

SYB: Skurge’s gonna kill me. This car is expensive! He paid for it in Loonies!

(Bennett’s men whooping as they tear ass out of the driveway)

SYB: I'll get in trouble! We can have fun, but drive carefully!

Cole: We won't tell anybody! He’ll never know, beside, what’s the worst that could happen?

<Bennetts men get to the OOWF Arena in Thailand and we see the Rick’s Army Party raging in the adjoining annex (which is really just a shack, but the place is jumping to robotic noises)>


EOM: Let's go.

(Ominous instrumental music as the robotic music keeps playing inside the annex, the members of Rick’s army look outside and see the car sitting idling wildly outside the window)

Lucios: Let's stop this now. Charge!

Darling: Get up, you faggots! Charge! Stand up and fight, for Christ's sake! Faggots!

Alexis Darling: Remain calm. All is well.

FFM: Cut the cake!

Carl From Fresno: Look!

(Tense instrumental music)

All of Rick’s Men: Oh, my God!

(Dramatic instrumental music)

(Motor revving)

Davin Moreland: I hate those guys.

Moosehead Jack: Ramming speed!

SYB: Oh, boy, is this great!

<With that the car crashes into the Annex and Bennett’s men pile out of the car and we get a HUGE donnybrook that rages on and on, or at least until tonight’s ppv, as the fight rages we get several still shots throughout the brawl>

LUCIOS: Tag team specialist, arrested in 2009 for threatening Vince McMahon, accusing him of ruining tag team wrestling

SYB: Convicted of insider trading in 2011. Raped in prison

Davin Moreland – Manages a Target in West Newbury to pay multiple paternity suits

Alexander Darling – Left wrestling to serve in the Gulf War. Killed in action in 2015. Killed in Iraq by his own troops

Donovan Viper: Sensitivity Trainer, Encounter Groups of Portland, Oregon

Moosehead Jack: Whereabouts Unknown

Firewoman – Bouncer at the Viper Room in Los Angeles. Ask for Fire

Senator Concrete Takaken Gryphon – Washington DC, trying to prove heroes still live on

Let me t-t-tell you 'bout some friends I know
They're kinda crazy but you'll dig the show
They can party 'till the break of dawn
at OOWF you can't go wrong

Davin Moreland, he's the ladies man
Every girl falls into his hands
Alex and Alexis playing "Cat and Mouse"
and LD Williams, he's the king of the

OOWF

OOWF

OOWF

OOWF

OOWF

OOWF

That Ryan Hardcore he's a real swell guy
Lauren was jailbait but he gave her a try
Moose, Jack, and Poe, they're second to none
They studied under Attila the Hun

LJ Bennett has got his wig on tight
Justin San’s left shoe's always on his right
Fire and Bunny are having a barbed wire fight
With Phantos, Lucios, and everyone in wrestling tights

DO THE Darling

Come on baby, dance with me
Maybe if we do the Bluto
We will get an "A" in lobotomy

DO THE Darling
DO THE Darling

DO THE Darling
DO THE Darling

Aw, come on!
Let me tell ya
GM the Rick tried to shut us down
But he fell and he broke his crown
He let people lose the title to MacCap’s spunk
He’s just a grumpy guy from Dayton, always drunk

At the

OOWF

OOWF

OOWF

OOWF

OOWF

OOWF

[The Jewish Cunthead]

*OOC

[STE]How is that creative? All you did was change the dialogue from Animal House to involve the OOWF. I don't get it.[/STE]

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

OOC: I suppose Solly's new Bennett's Army name is Flounder?