Pun's House Spotlight: Tar Heel Mike
Dec 22, 2008 15:11:46 GMT -5
Post by Mikey on Dec 22, 2008 15:11:46 GMT -5
I forgot it was a short week...
1. Why is Karate Kid III the best bad movie of all time?
2. Rocky V: What SHOULD have happened
3. Rocky 3.5: Lang v. Creed
4. Random 80's wrestling talk
5. NFL smack talk
I thought I did... but maybe I didn't.
If anyone here subscribes to ESPN the Magazine, there was a short, half page writeup on my little hometown of Wetumpka, Alabama in the Page 2 section near the front. They talked about, among other things, Sav's school winning the state championship in football, my high school building a new wrestling/baseball facility (which I know NOTHING about), and a local golf course that a bunch of alligators call home on the back nine. The course manager is quoted as saying something to the effect of, "They're afraid of people, except when you get near their babies - then they get defensive."
No shit.
Back in May, an old high school buddy of mine and I went out to Emerald Mountain for an early morning round of golf. Play the front nine, finish #11, and to get to #12, you have to drive your cart over about 1000 feet of swamp, and there is indeed a sign posted that reads "Beware of Gators." Now I'd played the course two dozen times and had never seen hide nor hair of one. But this was his first time out, and this perked his curiosity, so we sowly drove across looking... didn't see a thing. We've come up on the group in front of us, so we have some time to kill at the tee box, so we go down to the water to the left of the hole and look some more. Nothing.
We finally tee off, and I naturally put my tee shot in the drink on the left. He'd hit his down the right side, and then proceeded to drill his second shot into the left water as well. So we head over where my ball went out, and I hop out take a quick glance at the water, and take a drop. Play my shot, go back to the cart, and sure enough, we see a baby gator in the lily pads. Then we see another. We go up to where his ball went out, and we see a third! Pretty cool!
And it was about that time we both took a step back and looked at each other, practically saying at the same time: "Okay, we see the babies, where's Mama at?" So we look around for a bigger one... nothing. We chip up to the green and putt out. Onto #13. The water on the left ends at the tee box at #13, and again, we have to wait for the guys in front of us to get out of the fairway. So what do we do to kill the time... walk down to look for more gators, obviously. I'm about 5 or 6 steps ahead of Josh and I see another baby go scurrying thru the water from the edge off to my left. So I walk left, looking to see where it's gonna pop up in the pads and....
TAILWHIP~!
Water went everywhere and I must've jumped 10 feet in the air and screamed like a little girl, every hair on my body standing straight up. We'd found Mama... and she came up in the water about 20 feet out, a good five and a half feet long, sitting there on top of the water. Josh is bent over in hysteria, laughing his ass off, and I grab him and tell him we need to tee off pronto.
So yeah, fuck alligators.
I didn't read it. I simply flipped to the back of the book to take the picture in case YOU hadn't seen it.
You're the next guest on The Simmons podcast. What are the topics?
1. Why is Karate Kid III the best bad movie of all time?
2. Rocky V: What SHOULD have happened
3. Rocky 3.5: Lang v. Creed
4. Random 80's wrestling talk
5. NFL smack talk
Did you ever explain the alligator story?
I thought I did... but maybe I didn't.
If anyone here subscribes to ESPN the Magazine, there was a short, half page writeup on my little hometown of Wetumpka, Alabama in the Page 2 section near the front. They talked about, among other things, Sav's school winning the state championship in football, my high school building a new wrestling/baseball facility (which I know NOTHING about), and a local golf course that a bunch of alligators call home on the back nine. The course manager is quoted as saying something to the effect of, "They're afraid of people, except when you get near their babies - then they get defensive."
No shit.
Back in May, an old high school buddy of mine and I went out to Emerald Mountain for an early morning round of golf. Play the front nine, finish #11, and to get to #12, you have to drive your cart over about 1000 feet of swamp, and there is indeed a sign posted that reads "Beware of Gators." Now I'd played the course two dozen times and had never seen hide nor hair of one. But this was his first time out, and this perked his curiosity, so we sowly drove across looking... didn't see a thing. We've come up on the group in front of us, so we have some time to kill at the tee box, so we go down to the water to the left of the hole and look some more. Nothing.
We finally tee off, and I naturally put my tee shot in the drink on the left. He'd hit his down the right side, and then proceeded to drill his second shot into the left water as well. So we head over where my ball went out, and I hop out take a quick glance at the water, and take a drop. Play my shot, go back to the cart, and sure enough, we see a baby gator in the lily pads. Then we see another. We go up to where his ball went out, and we see a third! Pretty cool!
And it was about that time we both took a step back and looked at each other, practically saying at the same time: "Okay, we see the babies, where's Mama at?" So we look around for a bigger one... nothing. We chip up to the green and putt out. Onto #13. The water on the left ends at the tee box at #13, and again, we have to wait for the guys in front of us to get out of the fairway. So what do we do to kill the time... walk down to look for more gators, obviously. I'm about 5 or 6 steps ahead of Josh and I see another baby go scurrying thru the water from the edge off to my left. So I walk left, looking to see where it's gonna pop up in the pads and....
TAILWHIP~!
Water went everywhere and I must've jumped 10 feet in the air and screamed like a little girl, every hair on my body standing straight up. We'd found Mama... and she came up in the water about 20 feet out, a good five and a half feet long, sitting there on top of the water. Josh is bent over in hysteria, laughing his ass off, and I grab him and tell him we need to tee off pronto.
So yeah, fuck alligators.
How much did you like reading that chapter in the new Feinstein book?
I didn't read it. I simply flipped to the back of the book to take the picture in case YOU hadn't seen it.