[Eric O'Mac]

*Eric walks into the Destroyatorium. He gets eye-balled by everyone in there and he takes a seat right next to Stank.*

Eric: Barkeep, can I get a drink?

Bartender: What will it be?

Eric: What ever is good.

*As the bartender gets Eric a drink, Stank turns to Eric.*

Stank: You got a lot of nerve.

Eric: Ask me if I give a fuck.

*Eric gets his drink from the bartender.*

Stank: Don't expect us to be pals.

Eric: I just want a fucking drink, Stank. If I wanted a fight, we'd have a fight.

Stank: I'm not sure you won't break a bottle over my head the moment I turn around.

Eric: I don't give a shit what you think. But right now, you aren't my concern. In fact, I'm not sure what my concern is at the moment.

Stank: You leaving town at the end of November?

Eric: We'll see.

*Eric finishes his drink, leaves money on the bar.*

Eric: See you tomorrow night. Ought to be a hell of a fight.

*Fade out.*

[DevSop]

*OOWF Arena*

It’s just hours before this week’s Midweek Mayhem; the annual Imperial Onslaught coming live from Springfield and we’ve received word of something special planned. The fans have basically finished filing in and just as they take their seats “Lux Ataerna” hits over the sound system and the crowd starts to boo viciously. There is still a smattering of cheers from the smarks in the crowd, but after the events of Hell on Earth, the crowd has truly turned on the man stepping out from the back; Davin Moreland. And Davin is dressed to the nines in a full-on black Armani suit and stepping out right behind him and placing the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship around his waist is the beautiful Samantha Darling. She’s got a sparkling black evening gown on and the two slowly make their way down to the ring making sure not to allow any of the fans to touch them. Davin hops up onto the apron and helps Samantha up before opening the ropes for her and then following her into the ring.

He grabs a microphone from the ring announcer before shoving him out of the ring and standing in the center of the ring as the house lights come back on.

Davin: Damn, this feels really fucking right. It took me way too long and I had to carry way too many people before I took my rightful spot at the top of this company. I don’t care if the boys in the back want to reform Drink & Destroy, The Heroes Guild, 3Piece Set, or even if they want to go way back and bring back The Establishment. None of it will matter because I have this piece of gold and I have the following:

“THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE”

RUN DEA

Booms over the speakers and starts flashing over the OOWF Tron. Images of Phantos, Firewoman, Alexander Darling, and Lucios begin to flash rapidly…ending with the post-match beat down on Drink & Destroy after Hell on Earth.

”LADIES AND GENTLEMEN” starts to play and one by one the rest of Run DEA steps out onto the stage.

Phantos, Lucios, and Alexander Darling are each wearing the same style suit as Davin, but with their own unique flavor as they each have their own respective colors; Red, Silver, and Gold respectively. They take a few steps out of the way to allow the last two members of Run DEA to make their entrance and boy do they. Alexis Darling is in a stunning, short white dress looking as pure as the driven snow as she steps up to her brother and takes his arm. Firewoman steps out with her and we have never seen this side of her as she looks like a trillion dollars in a form-fitting, ankle-length emerald green dress. She takes a few steps and comes up between Phantos & Lucios and they each take an arm. The five make their way down the aisle to a LOUD collection of boos and name-calling. Alexis and Alexander are used to this reaction and actually seem to be enjoying it, Firewoman is her typical indifferent self, and for the briefest of moments you can almost tell that Phantos may be regretting his decision, but it quickly subsides when a fan gets too close to Firewoman and Phantos almost snaps on the fan. Lucios holds him back and together they all make it to the ring.

Everyone is in the ring and it’s a big celebration and even more so as the pyro explodes and balloons and lots of confetti falls from the ceiling. It is a party in the ring and it takes a few moments to die down and when the ring becomes clear again, it is Phantos and Lucios standing front and center.

Phantos: I think it bears repeating since it seems like everyone is making their feelings about Run DEA known.

Lucios: It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been here because from the day we stepped into this ring, we have been the best tag team in the OOWF.

Phantos: And it’s not just words coming from us. The Best Friends Forever, Midnight Sons, Chickenshit Heels, have all fallen from grace at our hands.

Lucios: Gods & Monsters, kz, Drink & Destroy…let them all try because we don’t care who they put against us.

Phantos: No one will take these championships from us.

Lucios: Because we are Phantos & Lucios. We are the division killers and We are Run DEA.

The crowd is booing the fuck out of Team Aquafina as they take a step back and Phantos hands his microphone to Firewoman.

Firewoman: Thank you Phantos…will you listen to these fans? They truly don’t comprehend what is happening right in front of their eyes. This is the dawn of a new age. We stand before you on the cusp of something truly great and you sit there in your seats and talk shit about us. We did what each and every one of you would do, if you had any courage whatsoever. We’ve had success in the past but it was because we busted our ass for it. We had to go above and beyond what everyone else did because we weren’t part of the power in the back. So we sat back and all realized, why make the power notice you when you can just take the power, so that’s what we did.

The boys in the back have taken me lightly or as a joke from the day I joined this company. I had to carry pieces of trash like Bunny and Dead on my back for months before I finally got my chance to shine and then the power realized that I could overshadow them so they did everything they could to hold me back. I finally had to show everyone what I was capable of. So, for a split second I was sorry about what I did to you Mags but then I realized you were just like everyone else in this company. Someone who thinks they can talk down to me. Well you keep talking, but make sure you keep your eye on that belt you have. I’m coming for it. I hope that fucking sparkles for ya.

Alexis quickly walks up behind Firewoman and whispers something in her ear to calm her down. Firewoman tosses the mic down as she and Aquafina walk over to join Davin and Samantha in one of the corners leaving the Darling twins in the center of the ring. Alexander has the microphone,

I’m going to shock the world right now and keep this quick. At first, I was a little cautious about this and while I didn’t have to be dragged anywhere, I did need to be convinced of the benefits. I lost sight of what was important there for a little while. I allowed myself to get caught up in something I swore I didn’t want to be a part of. I let myself get used and for that I applaud you Stank. You knew exactly how to manipulate the situation to get what you wanted.

Davin, back there, can take all the credit for this because it was his idea, but if I hadn’t seen and been informed of what type of person you truly are I never would have been a part of it. You see, I mistakenly thought that things had changed for me. That I was being looked at as an equal, but then when the time comes for those who actually proved their worth against Bennett you go and pick DH and Spin. Two guys who NEVER wanted to be a part of a god damn thing. They were in it for the fans…

FUCK THE FANS…and Fuck you and your buddy Capslock. Like I hadn’t heard the rumors that you were looking for an ace-in-the-hole. Like Alexis didn’t know everything you were doing behind the scenes. But we kept quiet because we felt it was in our best interests to bide our time. Well that’s done. This is Run DEA.

Those two guys over there, best tag team in this company. Poe, you keep antagonizing them and they’ll be the ones to finish you before I even get the chance.

Her over there, that’s Firewoman. The BEST PURE damn wrestler in this company. It won’t be long before she comes for the title you never really won Magnusson. Keep it sparkling for her.

Him sitting on the top turnbuckle…that’s Davin Moreland. He’s the motherfuckin’ world champion of this company. One of the best wrestlers to ever step foot in this or any ring. And if anyone wants that belt, they’re gonna have to go through me.

And that’s because I am Alexander ‘Fucking’ Darling. You may not like me and I hope to god you don’t respect me because I will do everything to ensure that Run DEA is and will always continue to be the name on everyone’s lips. We are the best thing in this company and don’t anyone back there ever fucking forget it.

Davin pipes up from his turnbuckle perch,
That was the short version? This is one of the cases where the pen is mightier than the sword, right? Can we wrap this up; the champagne is probably getting warm.

From the center of the ring;
Alexis: Can you go fuck yourself?

Davin just smirks as Alexis finishes up,
There’s not much else to be said. The best combination of wrestlers this company has ever seen put together is in this ring right now. And there isn’t anything anyone can do about because…

THIS IS RUN DEA….

TRY AND FUCKING STOP IT…

More bigger pyro, more funner confetti, and Run DEA leaves the ring to a complete mash-up of everyone’s individual entrances.

[Riot Act]

The scene opens up backstage in the Hallway of Random Encounters. The camera shows Attitude Adjuster walking down the hall with purpose. He approaches a catering table where Firewoman is standing with her back turned pouring herself a cup of coffee.

AA: Hey, Fire!

Firewoman turns and upon seeing AA, readies herself to throw the coffee in his face.

AA: Whoa, hold on. I’m not here to fight.

FW: Really? I figured you’d still be upset about your racket.

AA: Oh, I am. And trust me, I’ll have the last word when it comes to that. But now is not the time.

FW: Then what the hell do you want?

AA: Tyson wanted me to remind you about your deadline.

FW: Why doesn’t he do it himself?

AA: I don’t know. But I do know that if he doesn’t get an answer, he’ll finally snap and that won’t be very good – for any of us.

FW: Tell him that I don’t have to answer to him or anyone else.

AA: I think that you should reconsider.

FW: I think that you should fuck off and leave me alone.

Attitude Adjuster tenses and looks ready to strike until he notices the steam still coming off of Firewoman’s cup of coffee and thinks better of it.

AA: Fine, have it your way. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

With one final glare of mutual loathing, Attitude Adjuster turns and leaves. The camera follows him as he heads down the hallway and into the doorway to a locker room. Inside, an anxious-looking Tyson Kincaid awaits him.

TK: So?

AA: I think she’s ready to talk. But she’s a tough girl, so who knows? I don’t see why you just didn’t confront her yourself. After all, she’s had some words to say about you lately and they weren’t exactly flattering.

Kincaid simply ignores Attitude Adjuster and turns around, fiddling with his jacket that hangs on a hook behind him. AA, realizing that Kincaid is already back in his shell, shakes his head in disappointment as the scene fades to black.

[blownspot]

FFC - Ok Stank, I can't believe that I am being the voice of reason here, but you seriously need to calm down. This is getting out of control.

Stank - I am calm.

FFC - So that twitch in your eye...

Stank - It's nothing.

FFC - Who are you trying to kid?

Stank - Really Lock it's nothing. Just old age I guess. Instead of fighting here in the OOWF I should just retire to the old folks home back in Atlanta. Hand me my metamucil.

FFC - ... your what?

Stank - Didn't you hear Lock? You, me, Outback, Spin and Mags... we old folks gonna be lying in a pool of our own blood at the hands of the ALMIGHTY Run DEA. Those young whippersnappers are gonna git the best of us. Yes indeedy.

FFC - Have you lost your fucking mind?

Stank - No. That's probably the Alzheimers settin in.

FFC - Cut this shit out.

Stank - *sigh* Oh Lock. The truth is, my friend... I talk a big game, but I ain't ever really did anything for anybody. I never take responsibility for my actions. Shit. Everybody must hate me. Hell. I hate me. Especially for what I did to Davin. You know that thing I did. I mean I pushed and shoved Davin Moreland too far. All the way to the point where the man just couldn't take it anymore. He HAD to act. He shoved back and I DESERVED those beatings he gave to me.

FFC - What the fuck is wrong with you?

Stank - I'm an arrogant selfish dick, Lock. I only do what I do to put myself over to the detriment to everyone around me. I'm what's bad for the OOWF. I should just accept my new place in this industry. In fact. You know what? I'm going to MARCH RIGHT on over there to them Run DEA suites and bury the hatchet.

FFC - Don't be stupid. They'll beat you down.

Stank - A washed up has been like ME? Right. I'm a shell of my former self. I've lost my edge. I'm old, Lock. Rusted and weathered.

FFC - Alright enough. Joke's over.

Stank - No Lock. The last war took it's toll on me. Everyone knows I ain't got the sack anymore to take the fight to Davin. Besides I've acted like nothing but a prick to him and I need to apologize. So I'm going over there.

<Stank hops off his barstool and heads for the door.>

FFC - What the...? Hang ON! I'm going with you.

Stank - NO LOCK! NO! You stay put. I won't be long. Promise.

FFC - ... Fuck it's your funeral.

<OBJ, Spin and The IC champ, walk out the back>

Mags - Where's he going?

<Stank walks out of the Destroyitarium, down the hall, he rounds a corner, and walks down another hall making a beeline for the The Run DEA suits. He knocks, opens the door and is IMMEDIATELY surrounded by Firewoman, Phantos and Lucios who start shoving him around. Stank doesn't resist.>

Stank - Guys, please, I just need to talk to Davin.

Lucious - Are you drunk?

<The OOWF World Champion from the back of the room yells...>

DM - He wants to talk, let him talk.

<Stank walks over and takes a seat in the room where Davin is relaxing, Samantha Darling at his side.>

Sam - Drink?

Stank - Jack and coke if you got it.

DM - What the Hell is this, Lucas? Where are your sheep?

Stank - ... I Understand, Davin, why you did what you did and I want to apologize.

DM - Oh, go fuck yourself and your apology. You had your chance and were too busy being full of yourself. 5 seconds.

Stank - Fine, how about this then. I'll back out of the Imperial Onslaught. Least I can do. I feel terrible about what happened and what I did, and this is the only way I can think of to make it up to you. Hell Davin, you've shown me the error of my ways; you've helped me... helped us all get to where we needed to be, and we've gone to war together. We WON the war, and I've let that get lost in the shuffle. You only did what anyone else would do, right? Davin... If you let me.. I've got your back, and I'm truly sorry about how things went down. I just hope you can forgive me someday. If there's anything you need at all; you know where I am, and you have my number. Again Davin, I wish I could take it back; I really do, and I'm sorry. I take back everything I said about you. I mean it.

DM - ... Get the fuck out, Stank. Now.

Stank - Sure thing, Davin. Again...I'm truly sorry.

<Stank sighs and rises from his seat. He turns. but notices something hanging on the wall below the fire alarm.>

Stank - Hey is that a hatchet?

<Minutes later, Stank walks back into the Destroyitarium, carrying a bloody object.>

OBJ - Uh...

FFC - I'm almost afraid to ask.

Mags - Whatcha do?

Stank - I cut myself on this hatchet.

Spin - That's a lot of blood.

Stank - It's a deep cut.

<fade>

[Tommy]

*We cut back to the Run DEA Locker Room and Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels*

SD: He's gone already?

DM: Yup.

SD: Well, who's going to drink this Jack and Coke?

DM: You.

SD: You're right. *sips off of it* So what was the point of that?

DM: He was making a point.

SD: What was it?

DM: That he's got a long memory.

SD: You know what they say?

DM: No. What do THEY say?

SD: THEY say...an elephant never forgets.

*they both bust out laughing*

DM: If you need a band-aid Lucas. Let me know. Looks like a nasty cut you gave yourself there. Unfortunately, I don't give a fuck about you or what you have to say, since every word out of your mouth is a lie. So I'll say this. Thanks for the dinner theater - now why don't you try to make it out of Imperial Onslaught without getting your knee fucked up again. Hey, you're lucky. There's only two of us actually in it. The rest of us are in the Champions Tournament. You remember that, right Lucas? You were in it last year. I was too. Whaddya know? I'm in it again this year...you, unfortunately, are not. Very sad to watch the decline of a once-great athlete.

SD: Very sad.

DM: You done with that?

SD: *puts her glass down* Yes.

DM: Good. Bedtime.

SD: It's like 3 PM.

DM: You could use a nap.

*fade*

[BC]

FireWoman is WALKING~ in the Hallway of Random Encounters while TALKING~ on her cell phone. Wonder if she’s chewing gum at the same time. She’s approached by SFJ #77.

SFJ: FireWoman, I was wondering if I could get a few comments…

FireWoman rolls her eyes.

FW: I’ll call you right back.

FireWoman slams her cell phone shut.

FW: Damn, are you new? Never disturb me while I’m on the phone!

FireWoman looks over SFJ.

FW: How many bitches like you are there back here? It’s like a fucking Motley Crue concert back here.

SFJ ignores the comment and tries to be professional.

SFJ: I just wanted to get your comments on…your…actions…is that Selena?

FireWoman turns around and sees Selena disappear behind a corner.

FW: That’s it!

FireWoman starts to chase Selena down the Hallway. They fly past Eric O’Mac.

EOM: HA!

FireWoman finally catches Selena and grabs her by the hair. Selena squeals and grabs FireWoman’s hand that has a handful of hair, trying to pry it free to no avail.

FW: What the hell is your malfunction? I’m gonna rip every strand of hair out of your pretty little head, you freak!

SG: *wimpering* What happened to it?

FW: *confused* What happened to what?

SG: The baby. It’s not talking to me anymore.

FireWoman stops wrestling with Selena and let’s her go. Selena grabs the back of her head with a pout and is relieved to not feel any hair missing.

FW: You are by far the dumbest little bit…

FireWoman feels her skin crawl and reluctantly turns around. She turns to see a tanned bare chest. She looks up into the glaring eyes of Poe.

SG: Get her! She tried to rip my hair out!

FW: Poe, if you dare to touch me one more time I swear to Odin I’ll…

Poe takes his eyes off of FireWoman and motions towards Selena.

Poe: Lisa, I can say the same for her.

FW: Why don’t you just leave me alone? It eats you up inside that I said ‘no’ to you in Japan doesn’t it? Mommy never told you no did she you sick fuck? Little wham baby Poe can’t handle it.

Poe grins.

Poe: Your paranoia is eating away at you Lisa. Feeling guilty about something? Does seeing me bring up some dark painful memory you’re dying to forget?

Poe moves in even closer to glare straight down into FireWoman’s eyes.

Poe: I wonder what that could be…in fact…I’m dying to know.

Poe grins. We then hear someone clearing their throat behind them. Poe and FireWoman both turn to see Davin Moreland with Samantha Darling in tow, both with huge smiles on their faces (must have had a good time). Davin grins at Poe, tossing the World Championship belt over his shoulder. He walks up to Poe and grins.

DM: Well, well, well…if it isn’t big spooky.

Poe turns fully to face Davin.

Poe: Champ.

Davin glares at Poe for a moment.

DM: I suggest you take your little psycho piece of meat and be on your way. Fire and I could just take you out now, but I think I’ll leave you and ‘Roid Boy to the greatest tag team this company has ever seen, the Division Killers themselves, charter members of the greatest faction this company has ever seen, Run DEA, and all around nice guys, Phantos and Lucious. I believe you’ve met them yes?

Poe grins.

Poe: Yes I have. In fact, I’ve personally laid them both out in your very own locker room…Champ. Twice.

Davin smirks at that comment.

DM: Tread lightly. You’ve caught me in a good mood. You know damn well what I’m capable of and my patience is running thin right now. You see, Run DEA is now running things around here now. Things are gonna change. You might want to consider headin’ back to Japan while I still let you.

Davin slaps his World Title.

DM: You won one of these in Japan didn’t you? Maybe you should go back there and you know…maybe win something.

Poe: You and your boys may have…

FireWoman clears her throat. Poe looks at FireWoman and then back at Davin.

Poe: You may have pulled a huge swerve on everyone. I’ll admit I was even a bit impressed.

Poe stands even closer to Davin, glaring to drive his point home.

Poe: But I’m Run DEA’s worst nightmare. Tytan and I are going to take Phantos and Lucious’ Tag Team Titles. I’m then going to destroy the Boy. I scare the living hell out of Alexis Darling. Lisa is scared of me as well it seems. Last but not least…

Poe slaps Davin’s World Title.

Poe: I’m going to take that belt from you. Just like a number of weeks ago, I’m going to beat you in the center of the ring and after that; Run DEA will be no more.

Davin grins with a slight laugh.

DM: How’s your ankle?

Poe looks to Samantha Darling.

Poe: The Darling girl give you herpes yet? Or is she outbreak free at the moment?

Samantha is offended and starts to move towards Poe. Davin holds out an arm to stop her. Davin and Poe glare at each other seeing who will flinch first.

DM: Go on, Poe. I’ll be seein’ ya soon.

Davin winks at Poe and then takes Samantha by the arm. He then motions with his head for FireWoman to follow. As the three of them leave, Selena grabs onto Poe’s arm and holds tight. She then calls down the hallway to them.

SG: Nevermore!

They turn to walk the other way and see Tytan walking towards them.

T: Hey…what I miss?

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

*Spin and OBJ have retreated to the boiler room*

SH: What's up with Stank.

OBJ: Not sure.

SH: I've a good mind to grab the old logging chain and go over there right now, bust down the door and...

OBJ(with an odd smile and soft tone of voice): A well placed explosive charge would make for a more dramatic entrance, you know.

SH: Could you do that?

OBJ: Could do, but won't.

SH: How come?

OBJ: Time for some more training. Time for Back of Beyond Jack to tell you a thing or two.

SH: So it's true. You were the masked "King of Exploding Death Matches" back in Japan.

OBJ: Yes. With the mask and the long-sleeved shirt and gloves, I was able to work when Jack of the Hinterlands got suspended. Unfortunately, I tended to enjoy my work a little too much, so I got pretty much black-balled for life. We don't want that happening to you, so we're going to replay some of the Run-DEA promos, and you're going to keep your breathing and pulse under control.

SH: Is that really necessary?

OBJ: For what you want to do, I'm afraid it is. Moreland is like the fruit on the top of a tall tree, protected by thorns and branches. Best way to get to it might be to chop off branches, or maybe to expose the roots, weaken the tree, and topple it over. You've got to have a clear head to plan your strategy and tactics.

SH: OK, but I've got two questions. What's with all the botany talk, and did you just call Moreland a fruit?

*They both laugh, until a loud banging on the boiler room door interrupts them. OBJ grabs a kendo stick, Spin grabs a bat, and the door bursts open, courtesy of Donovan Viper.*

DV: How many times do I have to tell people I don't do "I am not a homo" anymore.

OBJ: We weren't talking about you.

*Continuity spears Viper back out of the locker room and Spin and OBJ get back to work.*

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman peels off from Samantha and Davin, as they're being to nauseatingly into each other to notice. She circles back around and meets up with Poe, Selena, and Tytan. Selena cowers behind Poe, Tytan strikes a defensive posture, but Poe waves him down. Firewoman steps up to Poe, defiant as always.

P: You had something to say?

FW: Two things. One, do NOT call me "Lisa." Ever.

P: And two?

FW: I'm not afraid of you. Never have been, never will be. For the last time, stay out of my way.

Firewoman punctuates this with very uncharacteristically turning her back on the three and walking down the hall way towards her locker room. Tytan starts to follow, but Poe stops him.

P: Now is not the time. Soon...but not now.

[blownspot]

<The camera cuts over to the bar area of the Destroyitarium.>

Stank - uh... you do realize I'm four matches below .500 this year?

FFC - ...

Stank - You're like... nine matches above.

FFC - Awesome.

Stank - Everyone over at Run DEA is also ranked well above me.

FFC - Your point?

Stank - I haven't been doing a very good job of holding them down, you know... below the glass ceiling.

FFC - That's because EVERYONE knows you're a loser.

Stank - That wasn't very nice.

FFC - It is what it is.

Stank - Hey Lock?

FFC - Yeah buddy?

Stank - Did you know every word that comes out of my mouth is a lie?

FFC - Why yes Stank. I did know that. That's why I turned on you?

Stank - You turned on me?

FFC - Yeah. When I left the company and came back richer than god.

Stank - What did that have to do with me?

FFC - Nothing really.

Stank - So... I guess you mean... when you joined Bennett's team.

FFC - Oh... yeah... I guess that could be considered turning on you.

Stank - Right. I'm still mad at you about that by the way.

FFC - Why? It was your fault.

Stank - Oh YEAH... it was my fault.

FFC - Are you taking responsibility for your actions?

Stank - I'm turning over a new leaf. From now on... everything bad that happens is my fault.

FFC - But you're a habitual liar. When you say everything bad that happens around here is your fault, what you mean to say is it's not your fault because you're faultless.

Stank - True I am faultless.

FFC - But that's a lie.

Stank - I'm not faultless.

FFC - That's a lie too.

Stank - ...

FFC - ...

Stank - What am I supposed to say here?

FFC - Try not being such a liar. Tell the truth for once.

Stank - But if everything I say is a lie... how do you know when I'm telling the truth?

FFC - You see... that right there is the truest statement you have ever made.

Stank - Well you know... I'm a master manipulator. I do shit behind the scenes... scary things that I should be punished for.

FFC - You HAVE been punished, my friend. By the ultimate punisher, our esteemed World Champion, Davin Moreland. How's the knee, by the way?

Stank - It's fine. Thanks for asking.

FFC - And your cut?

Stank - Davin should be along with a band-aid pretty soon. I hope he gets here before Imperial Onslaught tonight. I don't want to bleed out before the big match.

FFC - But you already got a band-aid on. You're such a liar.

Stank - Oh. Will you look at that.

FFC - I thought elephants never forget.

Stank - Was that a fat joke?

FFC - You see, if your brain wasn't so rotted you would understand.

Stank - You're hurting my feelings, Lock.

FFC - I don't know what makes you think the World Champion would bother gracing you with his presence in the first place.

Stank - He said if I needed a band-aid he'd bring me one.

FFC - No. He said if you need one, let him know. There's a difference. You see what you just did was revisionist. You tell things differently than how they were actually phrased.

Stank - No. I just thought he meant...

FFC - Davin doesn't give a shit about what you say or do. He was just being a prick.

Stank - What. That's mean. After I went over there and apologized and everything.

FFC - You didn't stay for your Jack and Coke.

Stank - Ah damn it.

FFC - You see now you deserve another beating because THAT was rude. It just speaks to your arrogance. You think you're better than everybody else, don't you. You think you're above drinking a Jack and Coke with your World Champion.

Stank - Lock that's... taking a pretty big leap.

FFC - Nope Nope. You're not going to get me to change my mind on this. Obviously you're an ass. Just accept it. Don't bother arguing with me on this point. You didn't drink the Jack and Coke. You suck.

Stank - But I just-

FFC - NAH! AH! I'm NOT listening! Go stand over in the corner and write emo poetry you pussy!

Stank - Lock, what did I do?

FFC - THERE YOU GO! So NOW it's MY FAULT you didn't stay and drink your Jack and Coke? You're ALWAYS looking to BLAME someone else for YOUR shit, and NEVER accepting responsibilities for YOUR own fucking actions!

Stank - I just asked a question-

FFC - WHY are you asking questions when you ALREADY KNOW the ANSWERS??

Stank - What the fuck are you tal-

FFC - Another QUESTION?? God! YOU are a STUPID FAT FUCK aren't you?

Stank - ... Am... Am I supposed to take you seriously?

FFC - Hey. You BETTER WATCH your ASS, BUDDY!

Stank - I'm going crazy over here.

FFC - NOW YOU'RE TRYING to TAKE CREDIT for SHIT YOU DIDN'T DO!

Stank - What?

FFC - I'M the ONE that went CRAZY and KILLED the PANDA! NOT YOU!

Stank - I know. I was kinda there.

FFC - Once again... revisionist history! You weren't there!

Stank - No. I wasn't present for the actual deed, but I was there to clean up the mess afterward. That's why I said "Kind of" there.

FFC - You LIE! You didn't say "Kind of" you said "KINDA".

Stank - What the fuck does ANY of this have to do with the price of tea in China?

FFC - It's called Dinner Theater you prick. You trying to tell me you didn't see any of this coming?

Stank - Any of what?

FFC - This conversation dumbass.

Stank - I can't say I did.

FFC - That's why you deserve everything you got coming to you. How's the knee, by the way?

Stank - You've already asked me that.

FFC - AND I plan to KEEP asking you until it irritates you and you quit! Plus I want you to stick around.

Stank - Wait you want me to quit AND stick around?

FFC - Yeah... stick around for the era of Davin Moreland.

Stank - Why would I quit... then stick around for the era of Davin Moreland.

FFC - Because go fuck yourself, that's why?

Stank - That doesn't make any sense.

FFC - Because you've lost it Stank. You've admitted it. You're a sad version of your former self.

Stank - I don't think my former self could make much sense of this either.

FFC - Listen. I'm going to try and explain this to you.

Stank - Okay.

FFC - Now listen... you see DH over there?

Stank - Yeah.

FFC - HE don't like you.

Stank - Why not?

FFC - Because you make shit up, Stank.

Stank - What did I-

FFC - SHHHHHH! That's not important. Just know that you do.

Stank - But...

FFC - KNOW IT, STANK!

Stank - Mags, you don't like me?

DHM - sure.

Stank - Is that a "sure" I don't or "sure" I do.

DHM - What do you think?

Stank - You do?

DHM - Wrong.

Stank - You don't.

<DHM goes back to drinking his beer and flipping through a magazine. Stank and FFC turn around back toward the bar.>

Stank - Wow. If he doesn't like me, why's he always trying to hang out with me, taking my advice, drink beer with me, and buddy up to others who associate with me? What the hell is he doing here?

FFC - That's not important. He just doesn't like you.

Stank - I'm confused...

FFC - Because you're an idiot... a fat one. How's the knee?

Stank - Why do you keep asking me that?

FFC - DON'T PLAY INNOCENT with ME?

Stank - ...

FFC - YOU ALWAYS THINK YOU'RE SO INNOCENT!

Stank - Innocent of...

FFC - Another question? Still looking for answers when the answer has always been there before you.

Stank - Enlighten me.

FFC - You brought THIS all upon yourself!

Stank - How?

FFC - The knee.

Stank - What... MY knee?

FFC - No. How's the knee?

Stank - It's fine, healing up quite nicely. Thanks for asking for the billionth time.

FFC - Ready to quit.

Stank - The OOWF...? No. This conversation, yes.

FFC - HA! I WON!

Stank - ...

FFC - ...

Stank - Ok I'll bite. What did you win, exactly?

FFC - I'm not going to give you a straight answer. You KNOW that. Stop playing innocent. Besides, you said this conversation was over.

Stank - My mistake.

FFC - DAMN STRAIGHT... YOUR MISTAKE! And now the WORLD sees you for what you really are. I've exposed you!

Stank - ...

FFC - Shave OFF those SIDEBURNS, Stank!

Stank - What sideburns?

FFC - Again with the questions! Don't act like you don't know what I'm TALKING about! You're fat. Like an elephant! Who doesn't forget! And STEPS on people! NEVER putting ANYONE OVER! PUSHING others aside! THANK GOD Davin came along and has put you in your place... How's the knee?

Stank - Never better.

FFC - Pussy.

Stank - ...

FFC - ...

Stank - Did you get it all off your chest?

FFC - STOP WHINING! STOP STEPPING ON PEOPLE and EXPECTING THEM TO FORGET! STOP PUTTING YOURSELF OVER BY KEEPING OTHERS DOWN! STOP BLAMING OTHERS! BLAME YOURSELF! ... uh ...

Stank - ... stop schem-

FFC - STOP SCHEMING BEHIND THE SCENES MANIPULATING EVENTS TO YOUR BENEFIT! STOP BEING FAT! STOP ACTING LIKE JOHN McCAIN! STOP WRITING MATCHES THAT MAKE OTHERS LOOK LIKE A WEAK ASS BITCH! STOP-

Stank - Whoa wait. I don't write matches!

FFC - STOP NOT ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT OTHERS SAY YOU'VE DONE! STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU'RE KING SHIT! STOP BEING AWESOME! GIVE OTHERS A CHANCE to SHINE! JUST STOP!

Stank - ...

FFC - ...

Stank - You done?

FFC - Yeah I'm good. Yelling clears out the sinuses.

Stank - You want a donut?

FFC - Sure.

Stank - I know a place.

<fade>

[Spinch]

*OOC: YOU JUST BROKE MY MIND.*

[karmic]

*OOC*

Did I just go slightly mad, or can other people see that promo?

[wld]

**OOC: I see it. I don't understand it, but I see it.**

**IC**

**SFJ#47 approaches L.D. Williams.**

SFJ#47: “L.D., you’ve been very quiet since…Sunday.”

LD: “You mean since I lost the title? Yeah. I’ve had some thinking to do. Let’s get this out of the way first: Congratulations to Davin Moreland. You beat me clean and you earned the title. After the match you were a class act, and I give you credit for that.”

SFJ#47: “And your thoughts on what happened after War Games?”

LD: “That? That’s a whole ‘nother story. All of a sudden Davin Moreland is the OOWF’s resident badass and everybody’s talking about what Stank’s going to do to him. Now, if I was Raven, I’d have a catchphrase custom built for this situation, but since I’m not…

You know what? Screw it. I’ll deal with this the same way I always do. And when I do, It’ll surprise some people, it’ll scare some people, and sooner or later it’ll set a lot of things right.”

SFJ#47: “What do you have planned?”

LD: “Now that would be telling. It seems like a lot of people have spent the last few days explaining what they’re going to do. Why waste my time? I’ll let my actions speak for me. But I will say this: In 2009 the one rule, the one immutable law in the OOWF will be…

…Fear us.”

[blownspot]

***OOC*** I call that promo Logic of Suicide: The Moreland Path to Awe.

**IC**

<Stank and FFC are across the street eating Dunkin' Donuts and drinking Dunkin' Donuts coffee.>

FFC - Why are we drinking coffee? It's 6 in the afternoon.

Stank - Because Dunkin Donuts coffee is good.

FFC - It's ok, but it's no Caribou Coffee. Shit it's barely Starbucks.

Stank - I don't care. I want to be more like Davin.

FFC - ... Are we still doing that shit?

Stank - No. We are not doing that shit.

FFC - I do like these apple filled cinnamon donuts.

Stank - Have you tried this Dunkin’ Donuts delicious Pumpkin Latte?

FFC - Pumpkin? Yech!

Stank - You don't like pumpkin?

FFC - Not in my coffee.

Stank - Your loss.

FFC - Should we talk about the Imperial Onslaught?

Stank - Well... I want to win it.

FFC - I'd also like to win it.

Stank - Well we can't BOTH win it.

FFC - That's quite the conundrum.

Stank - Ah what the hell. As long as I can get my hands on Alex or Fire I'll be satisfied. My shot against Davin will come seeing as how I'm a "leader" around here. Rick will give me shot in time.

FFC - I would like to bleed Ryan Hardcore dry.

Stank - You don't say?

FFC - I do say.

Stank - Interesting.

<Stank sips his Dunkin’ Donuts delicious Pumpkin Latte.>

Stank - Maybe you'll get your chance.

FFC - Maybe you'll get yours.

Stank - We shall see.

FFC - That latte does smell good.

Stank - Pumpkin, man. I'm trying to tell you. Grab that box and we'll bring some donuts back to the fellas in the Destroyitarium.

FFC - You know they think we've lost our minds.

Stank - Well Spin and Jack should know by now. Every time you and I are together... well...

FFC - Of course.

Stank - C'mon old timer. Let's head back.

<fade>

[Jack Quinn]

<Stank and Lock are driving back to the arena when Stank pulls off the highway and makes several turns ending up in the seedier part of town>

FFC: What the hell are we doing? The arena is nowhere near here

Sta: I need to make a stop to see someone

FFC: You know someone in this area?

Sta: There's a lot you don't know about me

FFC: Seriously? We still doing this?

Sta: Ok, here it is, just.....wait here for a minute, I won't be long.....and don't eat all the donuts

FFC: you want me to wait in the car, in THIS neighborhood?

Sta: Seriously? You are 6'10 350 pounds from fucking Fresno and THIS bothers you?

FFC: Just hurry back

<Stank leaves and makes his way into an old building that looks abandoned. Stank climbs a creaky flight of stairs and looks around nervously as he makes his way down a dark hallway. Stank pauses in front of a door, takes a deep breath and bangs on the door. From inside we hear an answer and Stank walks in. Once he is inside, of course we see it is Moose's place>

MHJ: What took you so long

Sta: What?

MHJ: I figured you would have been here days ago

Sta: Yeah well, I had to respond to some things and do some thinking. You know, being the old washed up has been, I tend to forget things now

MHJ: Yeah, that's not working on me, remember, I got the same spiel from Darling. I think Moreland hit all the high notes right? Washed up, has been, never did anything, completely irrelevant, same old, same old from you. That pretty much cover it?

Sta: Sounds about right.

MHJ: Davin is just being a prick. He wouldn't talk so much shit if he didn't know you were a legit threat.

Sta: Yeah, well. You still look like shit

MHJ: Hey, thanks for coming all this way to tell me that. Now what's really on your mind

Sta: You knew it was Davin didn't you?

MHJ: Honestly......no. Anytime he called his voice was either disguised, or he was calling from somewhere busy so it was hard to hear.

Sta: Had you known it was him, would it have made a difference?

MHJ: Does that matter now?

Sta: Look Moose, we have worked together in the past, you know what throwing around *that* word does, but, you know.......

MHJ: Yeah I know. Look, it doesn't matter anyway. This isn't my fight

Sta: No, it's not. But I know you and Davin have had this weird "thing" I am not using that word.

MHJ: It was what it was

Sta: Was?

MHJ: Look, right now, he and DEA are on and ego trip. And right now, it doesn't concern me. If they want to walk around like they own the place, that's fine. 3Piece Set did the same thing, and it was fun watching them fall.....

Sta: And if I recall, you had a little something to do with that

MHJ: Yeah, and if they get me involved this time, history just may repeat itself. But for now, I am content to sit back, heal up, and see what opportunity presents itself.

Sta: I still don't trust you

MHJ: Probably a smart move

<With that, Stank smirks and turns and leaves the room>

[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/Imperial Onslaught 2008
Live! From Springfield, Indiana

Tournament of Champions

LUCIOS vs. DH MAGNUSSON[/u]

Lucios makes his was to ringside first to the sounds of “God Blessed Texas” He hits the ring and grabs a microphone:

Lucios: Listen up you Hoosiers. At this time Every one you needs to stand up and pay some respect for the Texas National Anthem



Lucios stands and faces the OOWFTron, where


appears. The crowd goes wild with boos. The Band playing is quickly drown by the crowd. Lucios appears unfazed until "Calm Before The Storm" by Arcade fires up. The crowd goes WILD as the Intercontinental Champion appears on the top of the ramp. DH Magnusson acknowledges the crowd for a moment, then turns and charges down the ramp and slides into the ring. Lucios begins stomping away before DH gets to his feet and a bell sounds; WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Dh gets to his feet and it’s a full out brawl. Lefts. Rights. Elbows. DH needs the 3 full minutes of hand to hand combat with a head butt. Lucios staggers and gets shoulder blocked into the corner. Magnusson lays in a few stomps and then whips Lucios across the ring into the opposite corner. Lucios hits hard and staggers forward, where DH levels him with a clothesline. DH drops an elbow and covers for a 2 count. DH picks up Lucios and hits a big Scoop Slam, followed by an –Un-Hogan like Leg drop. DH follows up immediately with a Pile driver for a 2 count. Dh pulls Lucios to his feet and executes a textbook Suplex. DH points to the ropes and the fans cheer in approval. Middle Rope Fist drop for a 2 count. Lucios gets to his feet and sidesteps a spear. DH crashes through the ropes and to the floor. Luc pounces, planchaing over the ropes and driving DH into the guardrail. Lucios grabs DH by the hair and drags him to the Micronesian Announce table. He attempts to slam DH’s head into said table, but DH blocks the attempt, elbows Lucios in the gut, and delivers the head smash himself. DH rolls Lucios into the ring and climbs in himself. Lucios plays possum and catches Magnusson with the Greco-Roman thumb to the eye. The referee chastises Lucios, but he ignores him. Gorilla press slam. Lucios bounds off the ropes and delivers a knee drop that nets a 2 count. Lucios signal that it’s Suplex Time! The crowd disagrees. Lucios hoists DH up for a Delayed vertical suplex. He does the Chavo Guerrero hip twist and hits a Gordbuster. A Slingshot suplex follows immediately. Lucios poses, then covers for a 1 count. DH is up and they begin to exchange blows again. Lucios drops DH with a BIONIC ELBOW and Hoists him up for a Border Toss. DH slides off his back, and hits a nice hangman’s neck breaker. He gets a 3 count, but the referee waves it off when he see’s Lucios foot under the ropes. DH gets up pretty aggravated and turns away from Lucios for a moment. Lucios grabs Dh in a hammerlock and hoists him in the air, before SLAMMING him into the mat He covers for a 2.89898 count, which pissed the masked man off. HE turns to the referee to argue and leaves DH to get to his feet on his own. BACKSLIDE! 1…2…3!
Winner; in 7:23; DH Magnusson

PHANTOS vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY[/u]

You have to wonder if the chorus of boos and catcalls that greet Phantos upon his entrance are going to affect him coming up here tonight, as he's been so accustomed to the cheers and thunder ovation that Seamus gets as he hits the ramp. For his part Phantos seems unconcerned, checking the ropes as the big Irishman makes his way to the...

Phantos slingshots over the top rope as Seamus reaches the ring, slamming into him with a plancha followed up by a flurry of lightning fast right hands to the head of the Onslaught champion! He rides McNasty down, hammering away the whole time, and rolls him into the ring, screaming for the bell! The referee gives the signal, and Phantos dives onto Seamus, hooking the leg!

1...
2...

A strong kick out by Seamus sends the Texan flying, but before the Irishman can get to his feet, Phantos comes roaring back with a basement dropkick to the side of the head and another cover!

1...
2...

Kick out by Seamus, and Phantos thought that was CLEARLY a three count, and makes sure the referee knows it. Quick pickup followed by an Irish Whip, and Phantos is solidly in control as he brings the big man out of the corner with a monkey flip! High elevation standing leg drop, and a cover;

1...

One count only as Seamus powers out. Phantos hits the ropes quickly, and ducks the clothesline attempt by Seamus, and comes back to eat a big boot by Seamus! Pick up by Seamus, and a high angle body slam that shakes the ring, followed by a thundering elbow drop!

1...
2...

Phantos rolls a shoulder, and Seamus fires him off with an Irish Whip of his own, but Phantos hits the baseball slide turnaround, and launches back with a flying forearm that rocks Seamus backwards. A few more forearm smashes leave Seamus reeling as Phantos hits a beautiful standing dropkick that puts him down. Cover, and Phantos throws his feet up on the ropes for a little extra leverage:

1...
2...

Hightower catches the feet on the ropes and waves off the cover attempt, earning a heated comment from Phantos, followed by a shove the drive the point home. Hightower shoves Phantos back and reminds him that he's an official, which backs the masked man off and redirects him to Seamus. Phantos fires Seamus back into the turnbuckle again, and launches through the air, looking for another monkey flip, but the Onslaught champion hangs on, then throws Phantos back into the corner and launches a barrage of elbows and knees that leave the high-flyer him a heap. Whip to the far corner back Seamus, and he charges in right behind with huge Japanese clothesline! He pulls Phantos to the middle and loads him up, signaling for the Wild Rover but Phantos slips out the backdoor and hits a springboard back elbow to the back of Seamus' head followed by a kidney level drop kick! Seamus hits the ropes face first before staggering back into a backstabber! Phantos quickly springs to the top rope and perches while Seamus gets up, and flies off for the top rope hurricanrana...NO! Seamus doesn't go over...THE WILD ROVER! Phantos is folded in half, and Seamus leans in while Hightower slides in:

1...
2...
3!
WINNER via PINFALL at 7:04 SEAMUS McNASTY!

<Seamus Leaves the ring and "Idle Hands" plays and a forlorn-looking Tyson Kincaid walks to the ring. He is receiving another mixed-reaction as he reaches for a microphone. The music stops and the crowd silences.>

TK: I'm not going to mince words. I've waited long enough for this moment and to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't be able to find any the right words even if I wanted to.

Firewoman, your seven days are up. Now's the time for you to own up to our past and admit to the entire world while you abandoned me - abandoned our friendship - and left me to rot.

After a moments pause, the OOWF video screen at the top of the stage flickers on and the lights in the area dim.

<We cut to a deserted training area, somewhere backstage. Well, it is somewhat deserted, except for Firewoman, her hands taped, working on the heavy bag. Most of the bruises and cuts from Sunday's Hell on Earth have healed. Unfortunately, there is some unfinished business from last week's Mayhem to attend to, and who gets the pleasure of interrupting Firewoman in her pre-match ritual? Why, the f'ing new guy! In this case, it's SFJ#420, who comes cruising up with a NinjaCam.>

SFJ#420: Um, like.... Firewoman right?

<Firewoman doesn't stop her punching>

FW: You got it, kid. You are disturbing me because...?

SFJ#420: I'm not sure...some mopey guy told me to get a statement from you.

<Still punching, but way more focused now.>

FW: Mopey guy? You're going to have to narrow it down a bit more, sweetie, there's like a ton of those around here. Was he wearing a rabbit suit?

SFJ#420: Um, no...not that I noticed.

FW: You'd think you'd notice something like that. Was he carrying around an empty tennis racket case, looking like he just lost his first born child?

SFJ#240: No...he was just really, really sad. He said you were supposed to explain something.

<With that revelation, Firewoman lands a right hook square on the bag. Obviously she doesn't punch it off its hook, as that would be well outside the suspension of disbelief. But the force does shake the structure and the floor around where it is mounted, and makes the newbie jump. Normally, this would make Firewoman all kinds of happy, but she's too mad right now.>

FW: Dammit. Is he still on about that? Give me this.

<Firewoman grabs the mic, and then fakes an elbow in the micstand's general direction. Because she's new, this totally freaks #420 out, and she shrieks a girlie shriek and runs away. This does amuse Firewoman for a minute, but then it's back to the task at hand.>

Tyson, why do you not just let sleeping dogs lie? What is with the hurt and forlorn act? Because let me assure everyone out there in OOWF-land, it is really just an act. Tyson is the master of emotional manipulation. And the sad part? Most of the time he doesn't even realize he's doing it. Hell, most of the time he doesn't even know where he is.

Many of you have seen this. [She pulls out the picture of her and Tyson celebrating a ring victory] Aw, what a happy tag team, right? Not. Sure, we were successful. When he wants to be, Tyson Kincaid is a damn fine wrestler. It's that whole when he wants to be part. That's why Lance teamed us in the first place. He felt Tyson needed someone stable to keep him on an even keel.

Now...let's all reflect on that. I know I have my own problems with "stability." That should tell you just how bad off Tyson really is, that Firewoman is the stable one.

So, after talking with Chris, I decided to go ahead and team with him. And from day one it was a nightmare. Tyson missed practices, blew spots. I don't know what all was going on with him, and I didn't care. Oh sure, he'd blather on like most men do. At first I would listen to his sad tales, everything was an issue, everything was drama, too much to handle, he never thought he’d measure up to gods know who or what. I would hold his hand while he puked his guts out after ingesting whatever it was he could get his hands on, hide his problems from the staff at Storm Wrestling. Eventually, this grew old, and I began wondering how soon I could get out of this. I never told him what was really going on, but Chris told me to be patient. I know he and Lance argued about it, though. Lance thought we should be marketed to the feds as a team, Chris disagreed. I knew Tyson was too unstable, but left it to those with more experience to figure it out.

Then came that weekend of the photo, which was I guess our de facto graduation from Storm Wrestling. I thought Tyson had developed something of a crush on me, and really... who wouldn't? But I have my own problems, I don't need to take his on too, right? So that night, while celebrating, sure, Tyson made his move. And I decked him. And I left with Chris. I heard he passed out soon after that from whatever cocktail of drugs and booze there was that night. End of story. That is the extent of whatever "romance" he seems to think there is.

Two days later, I get a call out of the blue from OOWF. They wanted us to come sign with them. I'm not sure how they knew about us so quickly, but never one to let that worry me, I started getting ready to go, and I gave Tyson a call, but got no answer. Then I thought... do I wanna carry Tyson with me? Or do I want to risk him dragging me down, because he was so unreliable? Did I want several more years of trying to sober him up or talk him out from whatever hole he had crawled into, putting my career in jeopardy? Hell no. Remember the cardinal rule: Firewoman always does what is best for Firewoman. Always.

So...I told Lance that OOWF had just called for me. They hadn't mentioned Tyson at all. And with that I left. I suppose I could have tried to find him, but no one had seem him for two days. I told Rick I tried calling Tyson, and he didn't answer. He seemed satisfied with that. And the rest is history.

So you see, Tys... There's no big romance, no big blow up between friends. Just two people. One who sees opportunity and grabs it, and the other who can't pull himself together long enough to even answer the phone.

And now you follow me here, align with Eric O'Mac your first day here, and then start giving me the sad puppy dog eyes, demanding explanations? Well, you should have been careful what you wished for, sunshine, because now you got your explanation. Hope that sparkles for ya.

<Firewoman drops the mic with a loud thud and some feedback, and stalks off to continue pre-match preparation.>

<We cut back to the arena where the lights come back on. Kincaid is left standing in the ring. The microphone falls softly from his hand as he closes his eyes and tilts his head to the ceiling. His fists clench as he obviously struggles to control his emotions. He hurriedly leaves the ring and rushes to the backstage area, out of site of the fans who are still not quite sure what to make of the spectacle they have witnessed.>

DH MAGNUSSON vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – Tournament of Champions Final[/u]

Seamus McNasty enters the arena first, striding to the ring and using the ropes to warm up as he awaits his opponent. The crowd erupts as D.H. Magnusson storms to the ring. The two men face off in center ring and exchange a quick handshake as referee Junior Hale calls for the bell.
They lock up and both men try to get the advantage but end up in a stalemate. They break and try again with the same results. On the third try Seamus grabs a headlock, but DHM shoots him off. Seamus ducks a clothesline and comes back with a shoulder block, but DHM stands his ground. DHM dares him to try it again and, when he does, sidesteps and catches Seamus with a side slam. DHM stomps away, then goes to the ropes and drops a leg across Seamus' throat. He covers, but only gets one.

DHM rolls to his feet and catches Seamus with a forearm as he gets up. He presses the advantage with a series of big left hands, and drops him with the Thundercrack. He snaps Seamus over with a suplex and makes another cover, but Seamus kicks out at two. DHM pulls Seamus off the mat, and gets rocked by a punch to the midsection. Seamus tries for a DDT, but DHM blocks it, so Seamus drives an elbow into the back of his head. He muscles DHM over with a gut wrench suplex, then delivers the Rocky Road to Dublin. Seamus falls on him and hooks the leg, but DHM kicks out at two.

Seamus rolls to his feet and hits a hard right cross as DHM gets up. He drives him back the ropes with punches, then whips him across the ring and plants him with the Irish Car Bomb. He hooks the leg and Junior counts One…Two…Thr – DHM kicks out! Seamus pulls DHM to his feet and tosses him to the corner, pounding on him with elbows and knees. He whips DHM across the ring and follows him in for a Stinger Splash, but DHM moves out of the way and Seamus slams into the corner, striking his head on the ring post. Seamus staggers back and DHM plants him with a German suplex, getting a long two count.

Both men get to their feet and meet in center ring with fists flying. Seamus’ height gives him a slight advantage, and he gets the better of the exchange. With DHM reeling, Seamus pushes him back to the ropes, whips him across the ring, and hits a drop toehold, floating over into the Black Velvet Band. He struggles to cinch it in, but DHM thrashes and manages to reach the ropes. Seamus releases the hold and steps back, then moves in as DHM starts to get up. DHM turns and sweeps Seamus’ legs. Seamus goes down and DHM bounces off the ropes and drives an elbow into his throat. DHM pulls Seamus to his feet and right into the Jersey Hammer. He forgoes the cover this time and Drags Seamus back to his feet to nail him with the Dream Street. Seamus struggles, but can’t get any leverage against the hold. He’s in the middle of the ring and can’t reach the ropes, so has no choice but to tap.
WINNER in 14:46, D.H. Magnusson.

After the match: DHM allows Junior to raise his hand, then turns and helps Seamus to his feet. The two men exchange another handshake before Seamus leaves the ring, allowing DHM to bask in his victory.

IMPERIAL ONSLAUGHT 2008[/u]

Rules are as follows. Two men begin the match, every two minutes thereafter, another competitor enters. Elimination occurs when a participant is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor. After all 30 participants have entered the match the final four survivors will enter Ultimate Onslaught. Ultimate Onslaught will commence with a Hell in the Cell cage being lowered from above. Once the cage is in place, the bell will sound and eliminations will occur via pin fall or submission. There are no count outs. There are no disqualifications. The last participant standing will be declared the winner and will receive an OOWF World Title shot at a later date of his or her choosing.

Bunny is #1, ready for action. Eric O’Mac has drawn #2 and he is none too pleased with it. Eric tries to stall at the bell, reasoning with Bunny about the length of the match, but Bunny’s having none of it, slapping the taste out of his mouth and going to work. Monkey flip out of the corner and a rolling thunder senton, and Eric bails to the floor. Bunny follows out with a suicide dive thru the ropes and both guys are down. They brawl on the floor, Eric getting the advantage by going to the eyes. Then to the post. Eric rolls back in as we get the horn for #3, and it’s Tyson Kincaid. Kincaid lays into Bunny on the floor, hip tossing him onto the steps. He rolls him in, and it’s simple work for Eric to toss him… but Bunny hangs on, comes up on the apron and hits a springboard double clothesline on both guys! Bunny fights them off, but the numbers are too much, and Tyson pounds him down. They try to toss him again, but Bunny gets a head scissors takedown. #4 is Ryan Hardcore, out to some vicious boos, and when Bunny goes to the top to come down on Kincaid, Ryan simply hops on the apron and shoves him off to the guardrail in a nasty bump to eliminate him. Eric has words for Hardcore and they throw hands right on the spot as Kincaid stands back and watches. Back and forth they go, and Eric gets the upper hand until Ryan goes low and looks for the elimination. Tyson looks around and figures what the hell and moves in to dump BOTH guys, but both guys hold on and slide back in. Eric and Ryan set aside their differences momentarily and go after Kincaid, but Eric steps back and drills Hardcore with a roundhouse kick. Eric tells Kincaid to toss him, but when he turns his back, Tyson goes after Eric instead. So now THEY have it out as #5 is Justin Sane. Justin storms in, goes to the top and hits a corkscrew plancha onto both of them, then kicks the hell out of Hardcore. Sane’s a ball of fire, and a shining wizard knocks Kincaid silly. EOM grabs him from behind, but Justin gets a jawbreaker, then a super kick to Hardcore. Sane is able to neutralize all three guys for the duration of the two minute period until SYB is out at #6. SYB sneaks in and gets a blatant low blow on Sane, but he can’t dump him. Hardcore is over to assist on Justin, as does Kincaid, and they’re gonna toss him. But Eric comes in and wants the honors, so they leave it for him. Eric pulls Sane up, but Justin’s playing possum and hotshots him. Everyone jumps at EOM, who’s dangling across the top rope, and Eric gets pushed over, but EOM grabs the ropes and manages to slide back in. Hardcore and Kincaid pound Justin down again as SYB kicks Eric around a little.

Outback Jack is #7 and comes in hitting everything that moves. Down goes SYB. Down goes Ryan. Down goes Eric. Down goes Kincaid. Down goes Justin. Then everyone gets taken down again. Then one more time for good measure. Jack chokes out Ryan with his vest, kicking Kincaid and SYB away while doing so. Eric charges, but OBJ shoves Hardcore in the way, and they bang heads. T-Bone suplex for Eric, and Jack alley oops Sane onto SYB and Kincaid. OBJ clotheslines EOM over the top, but again, Eric hangs on. Sane and Jack alternate stomping Kincaid and SYB, but Ryan’s back over to break that up as Apocalyptic Existence is #8. AE is also an equal opportunity offender and slugs anyone who moves. Baldo bomb for Hardcore, who oversells it in spectacular fashion, and Eric walks into a big boot. SYB gets ANOTHER low blow in, this one to AE to slow him down, while Kincaid and OBJ have it out. SYB lines AE up on the ropes, but takes too long in setting him up and eats a massive big boot instead when he charges in. Sane tries to dump Eric, but EOM fights away with some back elbows as Z.K. DeBeers enters at the #9 spot to heel heat. DeBeers enters, and the fight slows to a halt. One by one, the other 7 guys in the ring stop what they’re doing to turn and look at ZKD. And all at once, they jump him. Down to the mat in a dog pile goes DeBeers. OBJ drags him up and everyone takes turns pinballing him around the circle of guys, until Jack levels him with a BOOMERANG~! And Hardcore tosses DeBeers. Then, everyone goes right back to what they were doing like nothing happened. But, #10 is about to happen, and it’s Moosehead Jack! Except Moose isn’t making an entrance. It appears the damage done at Hell on Earth was indeed too much for even MHJ to handle, so the match continues without a tenth entrant. And now we get some bodies cleared of the ring. First to go is SYB, who gets a little overconfident and then tossed by Justin Sane. However, Kincaid seizes that opportunity to immediately dump Sane. Hardcore and Eric isolate AE and manage to dump him up and over the top to the floor, but Jack follows with a double clothesline for them, and both Eric and Hardcore hold on. Kincaid charges in, and OBJ backdrops him over the top to the floor instead! Jack drags up Eric and Ryan by the hair and gives them good ol’ double noggin knocker, and inverted atomic drops for each leave them both in pain. EOM gets tossed again, and again he holds on. Jack looks to set up the BOOMERANG on Hardcore, but Ryan reverses it and sends Jack to the ropes, where Eric’s puling himself back up, and OBJ gets low bridged and eliminated! Ryan and Eric are still woozy as the countdown is on for #11. Three…two…one…

And it’s F.F. Capslock!! Place goes batshit insane as FFC takes his sweet time coming to the ring, taping up the fists and ready to murder Ryan Hardcore. Ryan realizes what’s happening, tries to beg off, and as FFC climbs in… Hardcore ELIMINATES HIMSELF! Crowd boos him out of the building, but Ryan’s gonna live to fight another day and scurries away. That leaves Eric alone with a pissed off FFC, and when he realizes it, it’s Eric’s turn to beg off. Eric tries to kick him low, but FFC catches his foot and takes his head off with a monster short clothesline. Eric goes thru the ropes and to the floor, knocked the fuck out. FFC rules the ring as it’s time for #12… and that sounds like the Hart Foundation’s music??? Since his former tag team partner had been cashing checks for the past nine months, he wanted to get in on the action, so we got Brad “The Hitman” Smoley recreating his character the WWE ripped off four years later. Capslock laughs it off as Smoley goes to all four sides of the ring, holding open the leather jacket that’s three sizes too small. Smoley takes off the shades and gives them to a fan at ringside, who immediately throws them back. Smoley rolls into the ring and it’s instantly GREETINGS FROM FRESNO~! Then a SECOND one. Then a THIRD one!! Smoley is dead… just like old times. Capslock dumps him with ease and it’s time for #13. And NOW things will get interesting, as Capslock’s old buddy, old pal Attitude Adjuster! AA sizes up the situation and stalls momentarily, then proceeds with caution as FFC welcomes him into the ring. Capps steps in, then backs off, then steps in again. AA gets his courage up and goes to lock up… just as Eric comes back in from the backside and clips Capslock’s knee. AA and Eric go to town on the knee because if FFC can’t stand, he can’t toss anyone over the top. AA measures a knee drop, and Eric grabs a half crab. Buzzer sounds for #14 and it’s Carl From Fresno! Fresno’s favorite sons manage to fight off EOM and AA, as Carl works over AA in the corner. FFC pounds Eric down and tries to toss him, but Eric holds on again. So it’s 2 on 2 with nobody gaining a serious edge until The Dead is out at #15. Dead has some words for the fans as he makes his way down, then picks off Carl with a running forearm upon entering. Dead jumps Capslock from behind, but that gets nowhere. AA is over to help however, and the two of them and Eric are able to take him down again. Carl hops back in the fray and we’ve got a five way donnybrook here, with all five guys just laying into each other with some STIFF shots. Eric comes up bleeding from the nose after a shot from FFC. Dead tries to dump Carl, but Carl fights him off.

#16 is a pissed off former OOWF Champion, L.D. Williams, looking for a rematch. L.D. doesn’t give a shit and stiffs everyone when he steps in the ring. Williams chops the ever loving shit out of Eric in the corner, then takes down AA with a running back elbow. Carl gets dropped. And as FFC tries to stand up, Williams takes his leg out again just to be a dick. LDW and Dead team up to keep Capslock on the mat. Double DDT does the trick, but then Williams DDT’s Dead, as well. LDW works over Eric in the corner as Blitz comes in at #17. He goes right after Dead, who’s half-conscious, but Blitz doesn’t care after what happened on Sunday. Blitz beats the hell out of Dead, clobbering him with right hands and drawing blood. Williams looks on in approval, but then soccer kicks Blitz in the gut. AA seems refreshed and tries to dump Carl, but turns around into a huge big boot from Capslock! GREETINGS FROM FRESNO~! But Eric clips the knee again to stop that. We have another countdown for #18… and it’s Tytan. And the big man means business, stepping right in and tossing Carl over the top. Tytan gets some shots in on AA, then nails Capslock with a stiff right hand. Dead and Blitz scrap near the ropes and Tytan charges in and clotheslines BOTH guys over and out! AA and Eric attempt to surround him, but can’t seem to make a move on him. Williams goes right up to him and wants to go, but Tytan shoves him all the way thru the ropes and to the floor. Countdown for #19, and now we REALLY got problems because it’s Poe! We’ve got Gods and Monsters in the ring and fresh! Eric and AA beg off and try to bail, but Poe and Tytan pull them both back in. Stereo power bombs for them! Tytan slings Eric across the ring like a ragdoll, and EOM winds up sliding under the turnbuckle and crotching himself. Poe tosses AA with ease. With Eric in pain and Williams on the floor, that leaves Gods and Monsters alone in the ring with Capslock, who’s getting to his feet. FFC scopes out the situation, finds the hole he’s in, and says screw it and goes right after both of them. FFC fares okay for a little bit, but the numbers catch up. DOUBLE CHOKESLAM~! And Poe and Tytan dump Capslock over the top! Time for #20 and it’s The Amnesiac, who cluelessly runs into the ring like a lamb being led to slaughter. Big boot, double leg drop, and Poe and Tytan take their time working him over. Williams watches on from the floor, encouraging Gods & Monsters to take their time, but they sling Amnesiac over and out nevertheless. Poe and Tytan take a survey of the scene and spot Eric laid out in the corner. But before they can drag his carcass out of there, the buzzer sound for #21 and it’s Puck Dupp. Puck takes his time getting to the ring, because, ya know, Poe and Tytan are just waiting on him. Puck makes a plan, but before he can do anything, Williams grabs him from behind and tosses him in, and Tytan and Poe put the boots to him. Puck bumps around like a superball as G&M put a beating on him. Eric pulls himself up, sees what’s going on, and powders to the floor, as well. Tytan crotches Puck on the top rope, and Poe goes to the apron and choke slams Puck from the top rope THRU THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~! Whoa! Who’s next? LDW and EOM exchange ideas and opt for the smartest one: walk out. So Williams and Eric walk up the aisle as we get the signal for #22.

And as soon as Williams and Eric get thru the curtain, they are dragged back from behind the curtain by Stank!! Business is about to pick up. Stank tosses both guys into the ring where Tytan and Poe put the beats on them. However, Stank follows right in and throws hands with both of the big guys. Before you know it, Eric and LDW are holding their own as well, as the defacto 3 on 2 begins to wear them down. Stank with an avalanche for Poe. The same for Tytan… but Williams and Eric take down Stank on the rebound because they don’t trust him either. Hey, every man for himself. Or woman in this case, as Firewoman is out at #23 to a showering of boos and assorted trash, including but not limited to used condoms. Eric wastes no time in getting in her face and they have it out right there. LDW inserts himself into the fray and we have a three way fight. Poe and Tytan get Stank isolated, and look to finish him off. But Stank reverses an Irish whip attempt, sending Tytan right back into Poe. They knock heads, and that allows Stank to grab Tytan and eliminate him! Poe staggers around… STANK-U~!!! And Stank tosses Poe!! So we’ve got Eric, who's been there there 40 minutes, Williams, Stank, and Fire… and Stank finally realizes that Firewoman’s in the ring. Stank grabs EOM and slings him aside, then pulls Williams away… and he’s got Fire backed into a corner. Crowd begins to buzz. We got the countdown for #24 and the horn sounds as Stank grabs Fire by the hair. We’ve got music and pyro for Concrete TG, but, as with Moose earlier, there’s no Crete. HOWEVER, Alexander Darling rushes out of the back and jumps Stank from behind with a chain. The refs at ringside tell him he’s entered the match out of order. Darling says he doesn’t give a shit and tells one of the refs to “wipe your ass this number,” which he tosses toward the official, allowing us to see it was number 30. Nevertheless, Darling makes the save for Fire. So they crow over Stank again, just like Sunday, and Williams and Eric look on in amusement… then jump Darling and Fire from behind! We’ve got a brawl and the crowd heat here is off the charts – who woulda guessed the fans would be cheering for L.D. Williams and Eric O’Mac? During the fray, we get #25: Damon Wrath. Damon’s in to lay out the lumber, and everyone gets a piece of him. Forearms for Williams, and Wrath takes him down with a massive shoulder block. Darling gets knocked aside. Eric takes a high backdrop bump, selling into the ropes. Fire reasons with Damon... and just kicks him in the balls. Fire and Darling put the boots to him, but that allows LDW and EOM to drag them off again and have at it one more time. Damon counters that by clotheslining them all down at the same time. They try to divide and conquer, but Eric and Darling get into it before they can make any headway, and Wrath takes down Fire with an overhand forearm, then LDW with a belly to belly throw. Darling tosses EOM, but Eric hangs on yet again. AD goes for the kill, but Eric shoulders him in the gut and hits a nifty top rope Rocker Dropper! Fire immediately takes him down with a spinning heel kick, but Stank is to his feet, and he has Darling's chain. The crowd begins to buzz again, as Fire has no idea Stank's up. Stank stalks her and chokes her out with the chain! The buzzer sounds for #26 and Spin Hansen hits the ring. Spin immediately goes after Darling, being sure to shove Eric aside so he can get his first. Wrath is trying to take LDW to the floor, but Williams has successfully grabbed enough rope to stop that, elbowing his way out. Wrath pries Stank off of Fire, and they have a brief stare down before they slug it out. Shoulder block contest goes to a draw, and when Damon tries another one, Spin comes from the blindside with a CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL~! Eric drags Darling up, and Williams is over to kick AD in the gut, then has a right hand for Eric. Fire tries to crawl away under the ropes, but Stank drags her back in. Stank grabs her, but Darling is over with a flying forearm to break that up. Spin tries to take Damon out, but Wrath grabs him in a front face lock and tries to take HIM out. As they struggle, Fire and Darling come over and dump both guys, Wrath going to the floor, but Spin holding on and kicking Damon away as he tried to drag him down, as well.

Skurge is out at #27, and he immediately gets nowhere with Stank, Williams, and Eric. LDW grabs him for the DDT, but Fire bulldogs Williams from behind. Stank and Eric exchange some words, and Eric apparently calls him a bad name and shoves him, so Stank drops him with a roundhouse left. Skurge kicks Spin while he's down as Darling and Fire step back and assess matters. Williams is back to his feet and looks to nail Skurge, but he instead jumps on Darling and Fire instead, taking them both on. Skurge is over to help out and they pepper AD and Fire with lefts and rights, taking them down. Williams shoves Skurge, and Skurge returns the favor, but Spin takes them both down with a double clothesline. Meanwhile, in the corner, Stank is just killing Eric. Getting a favorable draw at #28 is Chris Cole. Cole goes right after Stank, but Spin cuts him off at the pass and they duke it out dead center of the ring. Stank comes over to join the party, and Cole's quickly outnumbered. Darling drags Spin out of the mix, and he and FW work him over in the corner. Skurge charges in, but Fire sidesteps him and sends him sailing over the top rope and to the floor and rolling up the aisle. Williams nails Stank from behind, and he and CC beat him down in the corner. EOM staggers up a bloody mess, and Cole plants him with the HEADLINER for good measure. EOM is dead. While LDW and CC focus on Stank, Darling and Fire are trying to get Spin over the top and to the floor, but Hansen fights them off, managing to get Darling over the top, but AD hangs on and pulls himself back in. The delay however allows Spin to get some shots in on Fire. #29 is up, and our final entrant – since Darling entered early – is Johnny Adrenaline. Johnny hits the ring and goes after Spin, but Fire doesn't want the help and decks Johnny. Darling goes to the eyes to keep Spin at bay, and Williams and Cole have Stank teetering over the top. Stank's holding on for dear life, and Johnny's over to help. Eric staggers back up and grabs Cole and they have at it, and Stank is able to fend off LDW and Johnny. Fire goes to assist AD with Spin yet again, but Spin keeps fighting them off. Eric nails Cole with a float over DDT, but eats a super kick from Darling on the rebound. Stank finally frees himself of Williams, and has a line on Darling, and Stank CLOBBERS him with a jumping clothesline. Stank goes batshit on him. Johnny comes over and hammers Stank with a stiff double axe handle, but Stank no-sells it and backs Johnny into a corner. Fire charges and goes to leap on Stank's back, but Stank moves and Fire smashes Johnny in the turnbuckle. JA staggers out, and Spin grabs him by the hair and sends him over the top and to the floor! Eric and Williams drag Darling up, but Cole sneaks up from behind Williams and DUMPS HIM! Williams is PISSED! Cole tells him that it's every man for himself and Williams tells him something else. But while Cole is sidetracked, Stank comes from behind and clotheslines him over and out to the floor! And just like that, we're down to five. Eric slams Darling and goes up top, but Spin sends Darling to the ropes, crotching EOM on the turnbuckle. Darling ducks a clothesline and plants Spin with a brain buster. But Stank sneaks up behind Darling and grabs him for the STANK-U~! But out of desperation, Fire shoves Stank and Darling over the top rope! AD falls off the back and into the ring, but Stank goes over the top! Darling and Fire breathe a sigh of relief, thinking Stank has been eliminated. But Stank is holding onto the top rope, and he attempts to SKIN THE CAT! But, Davin Moreland hops out of the crowd with a baseball bat and CREAMS Stank across the back as he pulls himself back in, and Stank falls to the floor with a thud! Moreland whacks Stank with the bat one more time for good measure and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER ON THE CONCRETE~! Darling slides out of the ring to assist with the matter as the bell sounds to signal the end of the battle royal portion of the match at 1:09:02.

ULTIMATE ONSLAUGHT: Eric O’Mac vs. Firewoman vs. Alexander Darling vs. Spin Hansen

The cage begins to lower as Moreland and Darling brutalize Stank on the floor. Darling’s found a chair and he pounds him down with that, and Moreland hits a dominator on the chair for good measure. They set up for a spike pile driver… but F.F. CAPSLOCK makes the save, and Moreland and Darling scatter, Davin thru the crowd from which he came, and AD back to the ring. Problem for Darling is that the cage is locked and he can’t get in! That leaves Fire isolated with Spin and Eric, and they make quick work of her with a TODESFALL and the EMAC ATTACK~! Eric with the cover, and just like that Firewoman is ELIMINATED. A referee finally opens the cage and Darling is in and he’s angry. AD goes right after Spin to no avail, and Spin looks for SPINAL JUSTICE, but Eric comes over with a leaping clothesline to break that up. EOM kicks Spin out of the ring and focuses on Darling himself. Spine buster and Eric wants the SMACKDOWN, but Darling elbows out. A double reversal leads to the DARLING DRIVER~! But Spin breaks that up with a LADDER TO THE FACE~! And Spin nails Eric, too. Avalanche in the corner for Eric, and Spin slams Darling on the ladder. Leg drop gets a two count. Eric makes a run at Spin, but Spin hotshots him into the corner and kills him with a lariat on the rebound. SPINAL JUSTICE for Eric, but Darling uses the ladder on the pivot and nails Spin in the jewels with it. Eric and Darling team up to put Spin down. Some double teaming, as Eric and Darling seem to be able to co-exist well enough. Eric goes up top as AD wants a power bomb… but Spin sweeps the legs and catapults him right into Eric! EOM gets crotched again and falls to the floor. AD rebounds right into the WTF~! Spin’s got it locked in, but it gets broken up on accident by Eric, who slides the ladder into them upon re-entering the ring. Darling sets the ladder up and wants to climb for some reason, so Spin simply walks under him and gets an electric chair drop! One, two, but AD somehow kicks out. Eric looks for a figure four, but Spin counters it and kicks EOM into the ladder. Eric cushions the blow however by landing on the ladder like Spiderman, but Spin trumps him by shoving the ladder over from behind, sending Eric sailing over the top and into the cage HARD! Spin admires his work… but for a moment too long, as Darling is waiting for him with the DARLING DRIVER ON THE LADDER~! Completely nasty bump, and AD had enough left in the tank to drag himself over and get the pin! Spin is ELIMINATED. Darling goes to the floor to finish off what’s left of Eric, who is bleeding everywhere. Darling sends him to the cage several times, then to the post. Back in, but Eric gets a desperation mule kick to slow Darling down. Both guys up and they just slug it out. Wild lefts and rights as the crowd really begins to get into it. Eric gets a slight edge, backing Darling up to the ropes, and they end up fighting thru the ropes and to the floor. Darling whips Eric to the cage, but EOM runs up the cage and gets a moonsault instead! Nice! Eric catapults AD to the cage, and Darling comes up bleeding. EOM uses the stairs and we go back in. Darling goes to the eyes in desperation and tries a running crucifix bomb, but Eric falls off the back and they bang heads as Darling turns around. AD falls on top, one… two… but Eric kicks out. Darling up first and he tries a Boston crab, but Eric twists him off. Eric up now, but Darling counters a charge with SMACKDOWN~! Darling steals Eric’s move! Darling motions that he’s gonna use the frog splash, too, and goes to the top. Darling comes down with his variation of the EMAC ATTACK~! But, upon landing, Eric POPS HIM WITH THE CHAIN that Darling brought into the match nearly an hour ago!! Eric manages to drape an arm over Darling… one…two…THREE!!
WINNER in 1:43:35 (34:33 of Ultimate Onslaught): ERIC O’MAC

DAVIN MORELAND vs. DH MAGNUSSON[/u]

“Calm Before the Storm” by Arcade fires up, and the crowd gets to their feet as the Intercontinental Champion DH Magnusson makes his way to the ring, carrying what appears to be a trusty logging chain. HUSS! DH sneers at Still Senior Referee Mel Creech, and hands him his belts and logging chain. The lights in the house go green and the Jumbotron goes dark. comes on and finally “Run DEA” fades onto the screen to a chorus of boos. That fades out to black and then “Davin Moreland” replaces that on the screen. As the loud section in the music kicks in, we get the typical highlights package with “no expense spared” pyro. Finally Davin Moreland appears with Samantha Darling at the top of the ramp. Davin is wearing his World Heavyweight Championship and a Mike Vanderjagt Colts Jersey, which is apparently a good way to piss off an Indiana crowd. They are booing him unmercifully, but Davin is simply smiling and waving. He walks his way into the ring after saying his goodbyes to Samantha, and hands his belt to Creech; and apparently, he still doesn’t like Creech. We’ll see how this goes! Creech calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!

DH starts yapping, and Davin says something that looks kind of like “take the cock out of your mouth”. Clearly, that doesn’t go over well, and DH SPEARS Davin out of his boots, and just starts blasting him in the face over and over. He grabs Davin’s hair and starts SMASHING the back of Davin’s head into the mat. FINALLY Creech comes over and starts a count, which prompts DH to step back. Davin is noticeably shaking out the cobwebs as he starts to get up. DH doesn’t wait and CHARGES him again, and walks right into a BIG BOOT! Davin drops to his knees and takes this opportunity to regain his bearings. Both men are up about the same time, and this time, they lock up. They lock up to a stalemate, but the Champ hits a CODEBREAKER out of nowhere, sending DH stumbling backward. Davin is on him quickly and starts SMASHING DH’s face into the turnbuckle. So much so, that boos finally come out, and Creech asks for a break. Davin takes half a step backward, before going back in, and unfortunately for him walks into a JERSEY HAMMER. The cover gets 2.

DH is in control again, pulling Davin up and ROCKING him with uppercuts. He whips Davin to the ropes, and hits a THUNDERCRACK! That cover gets a longer two. DH now goes to work on the potentially still sore ribs of Davin, who, predictably, is now having trouble breathing. He whips Davin to the ropes, and hits a BIG POWER SLAM, and that cover gets two; and as Davin was kicking out, we see Firewoman, Phantos, Lucios, Alexander and Alexis Darling all making their way to the ring area. Oh yeah, they’re all carrying baseball bats; and a couple of them have two. Creech goes to the ropes to say hi, apparently, and DH stands frozen assessing the situation as well. Apparently, he doesn’t see Davin, who DRILLS Magnusson in the balls like Mike Vanderjagt (maybe a little to the right, but still effective) and the big man doubles over. Davin makes the “BANG” symbol, and DESTROYS Magnusson with a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER. Everyone around the ring tells Creech to look now. He does and makes the academic count.
WINNER by PINFALL (via nefarious means) in 18:13…DAVIN MORELAND!

Post match, Run DEA spills into the ring with their bats, toss a couple to Davin and Samantha, and we’ve got ourselves a BAT PARTY! Head. Ribs. Knees. Arms. Face. DH Magnusson is quickly a bloody mess, and might be missing some teeth. His face is virtually unrecognizable when Davin holds his hand up and starts SCREAMING in DH’s face. Right about this time, “Skin” by Nonpoint fires up and the rest of Drink and Destroy comes charging out to the ring. Run DEA scatters and takes off through the crowd.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Doomy Doom Doom Doom V, Live October 26th from Springfield, Florida! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem/OOWF Tag Team Invitational 2008 Live! October 8th from Springfield, Kentucky!

For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts
For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com

Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!