[karmic]

***OOC***

Oct 31, 2008 13:59:37 GMT -5 Tommy said:

DM: Honestly, I dunno. HONEY? WHERE ARE WE GOING HONEY? HONEY DID YOU SEE THAT HONEY? WE'RE LEAVING WITHOUT A DESTINATION HONEY! THOSE DONKEYS NEVER TOLD US WHERE WE WERE GOING HONEY! DO YOU BELIEVE THAT HONEY? IF IT WEREN'T FOR THESE TRAVEL PEOPLE WE'D GO ANYWHERE WE WANTED TO, HONEY!

That's one exalt, Moose's GI Joe exalt is on backorder.

***OOC***

[fasteddie]

*OCC* I couldn't agree more. Exalt for the Viper promo.

[fasteddie]

(Tytan just finished running his daily Five mile run and Lola and the ninja cameraman can be seen finally catching up to him on the run.)

Lola: Remind me to never take the assigment of following certain wrestlers around especially those that train as much as Tytan.

Ncamerman: (Catching his breathe and putting down the camera) And you are telling me that, try to the five miles carrying this freaken camera.

(Tytan comes up to them as the two quickly try to look like they are okay.)

Tytan: (Not even out of breath) Are you guys okay? Are we going to cut this promo now?

Lola: Sure (breathing hard) that was nothing. Ready with the camera?

Cameraman: Yeah(Still catching his breath) rolling!

Lola: Tytan what do you have to say about you tag0title shot this week?

Tytan: Simple. IHOP just curl up and die already! We have kick your clown asses how many times in the last couple of days. Face it you are done!

Now as for you Phantos & Lucios last time we faced you masked freaks we had another lame ass team in the ring with us. This time the results are going to be different. I will say to you the same thing I said to IHOP. Shine those belts up real nice because after Mayhem those belts are going to the only team-Gods and Monsters!

(Just then a small car pulls up and stops. The camera keeps rolling as it sees six clowns jump out of the car and surround Tytan.)

Tytan: What the hell is this?

Clown1: IHOP says you love clowns. Well they hired us to show you a thing or two.

(Just the Clown Number 2 walks up to Tytan and looks like he is about to swing at him and instead squirts him with a flower in the lapel.)

Tytan: You got to be kidding me!

(Then Clown#4 hits Tytan in the back of the head with a Rubber Chicken.)

Tytan: No...tell me you just didn't do that! ( He picks up the chicken and shows clown #4) You didn't just thrown a rubber chicken at me!

CLown#4 honks his horn once for yes.

Tytan: Now I am starting to get pissed off.

(To be continued... )

***OOC I actually was going to be late to something if I continued this***

[blownspot]

<Stank walks into the Destr---

FFC - And JUST WHERE THE HELL have YOU BEEN??

Stank - All that talk about SFJ#5 got me thinking.

FFC - About What! Don't tell me you spent the last 24 hours trying to rekindle what you had with 5!

Stank - Of course not! Remember she got married. No, I needed to tal--

FFC - YEAH YEAH WHATEVER can we get to the excitement? JACK! WILLIAMS! Stank is back!

<Fear Us come walking from a back room and join Stank and FFC at the bar.>

FFC - Okay let's seee... uh... bartender?

BT - Yes?

FFC - Bartender, bartender, bartender, bartender, bartender

BT -WHAT!

FFC - Bartender, bartender, bartender, bartender, bartender

Stank - Lock... what the fuck are you doing?

FFC - The bartender said that when he is mentioned more than once in a promo BIG things are about to happen.

Stank - If he told you you were a native American god, would you--- oh wait.

FFC - You got jokes. That's.. that's nice.. LET'S DO THIS!

Stank - We're not ready.

FFC - WE'VE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR OVER A DAY!

Stank - Our guests haven't arrived, yet.

FFC - ...?

___________________

Meanwhile
___________________

JA - Okay, how long are we going to continue following these clowns?

AA - WHY are you asking me?

JA - WHY...? THAT'S it! I'm running them off the road.

AA - WAIT! These roads aren't so random anymore.

JA - What are you talking about?

<Phantos and Lucios finally stop and park in the arena parking lot where the November, 5th MidWeek Mayhem will take place, LIVE in Springfield, South Carolina! (Cheap pop!)>

AA - We're at the arena where the November, 5th MidWeek Mayhem will take place, LIVE in Springfield, South Carolina! (Cheap pop!)

JA - I can see that, Alan.

AA - Where are Phantos and Lucios going?

JA - Inside... I have a bad feeling about this.

AA - Just park the car and hurry up. We might be able to catch them in the hall of random encounters. Then we can stop by Flair's sandwich stand and get some comestibles.

JA - Comestibles?

AA - Yeah. It's a word. Look it up.

<Johnny Adrenaline pulls out his Treo by Sprint PCS Mobile Phone and googles "comestibles">

JA/AA - CHA-CHING!

<Moments pass and the connection seems to have hung up.>

AA - It's been moments and the connection seems to have hung up.

JA - Damn Sprint! CHA-CHING!

AA - Hit refresh.

JA - I've already hit it, twice.

AA - That's what SHE said!

JA - Maybe I should put this Treo by Sprint PCS Mobile Phone down.

AA - CHA-CHING!

JA - Ok let's not do that anymore.

AA - Look Phantos and Lucios are getting away. Come on!

<The Chickenshit Heels exit their vehicle and follow Phantos and Lucios into the arena. They continue to follow them down the hall of random encounters, surprisingly past the Run DEA suites. The Tag-Team Champs round another corner, head further down the hall, pause, look at each other, then enter... the Destroyitarium! All under the watchful eyes of Johnny and Alan.>

JA - What the hell?

AA - I know I said wrestlers find each other in unexpected places, but...

JA - That surely is unexpected.

AA - What do you suppose they're doing in there?

JA - I have no idea... You don't suppose they're trying to strike up an alliance?

AA - With Drink and Destroy? No way in hell. They hate Phantos and Lucios as much as we do.

JA - Well that's it. We should have run them off the road when we had the chance.

AA - WAIT! I KNOW what they're up to. They're trying to steal OUR idea!

JA - What are you talking about?

AA - They're trying to sneak attack Stank and FF! Just like we were trying to sneak attack them!

JA - In the Destroyitarium? That's stupid.

AA - Well no one's ever accused Phantos and Lucios of being smart.

JA - You got THAT right! I mean SERIOUSLY! They've got some NERVE! You know what?

AA - What?

JA - We should take advantage of this opportunity. I'm sure they're fighting each other RIGHT now! We should charge in there and clean up what's left!

AA - I've got your back.

JA - Come on! Let's do it!

AA - That's what SHE said!

________________

Meanwhile in the Destroyitarium
________________

<Phantos and Lucios have just walked in... and they brought Dunkin Donuts!>

Lucios - We brought Dunkin Donuts!

FFC - What the HELL are YOU two doing here?

LDW - You got some balls.

Phantos - There's a lot you don't know about me.

OBJ - Well it looks like we're going to have a fight after all.

Stank - Um...

FFC - Now WHAT! Don't tell me wai--

<Just then the CHICKENSHIT HEELS charge in to clean up what's left... except the mess hasn't been made. All eight men stand in the Destroyitarium eyeing each other. Stank's scowl slowly transforms into a wide grin.>

Stank - Johnny. Alan. Sorry. It was the only way I could get you both in here.

JA - Wha--

Stank - I'm afraid this time... the swerve... is on you.



<Johnny and Alan stare at the six other wrestlers spread throughout the Destroyitarium. Everyone is eyeing the other, five of them in confusion. Only three of the men know what is about to happen. Phantos, in slow motion, begins to remove his mask. Lucios slowly removes his mask to reveal... Spin Hansen! Standing next to him, holding a Phantos mask... Seamus McNasty! Johnny and Alan's eyes widen in terror as it dawns on them.... they are DEEP in enemy territory.>

Stank - Gentlemen... it's on.

FFC - About time!

<Capslock grabs a beer bottle and FLINGS it at Johnny Adrenaline's head! We track the bottle in slow motion as it flips end, over end, over end, narrowly missing Johnny's head as Adrenaline ducks and the bottle CRASHES against the wall behind him.

Alan is caught off guard by the turn of events and whirls around, too late, as he is TACKLED by Stank! Johnny rises up to block a punch by OBJ, but not a BOOT! by FF Capslock! Spin and Seamus laugh at the scene, look at each other, shrug figuring their part in getting TCH to the Destroyitarium is over then begin to BRAWL! with each other! LD Williams, not wanting to be left out, jumps into the fray with the Chickenshit Heels. He tries for a flying knee toward Alan, but AA sidesteps it and it inadvertantly lands on Stank's bad knee! Stank stumbles backward, scowls, grabs LD Williams arm and brings him down with a SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE! meanwhile FF Capslock back body drops OBJ high into the air where the Aussie lands on Stank! Lock turns around and is PUNCHED in the jaw by Attitude Adjuster. The brawl continues to rage, reaching a fever pitch. Suddenly... the instrumental ends. Everyone stops, the labored breathing of each individual is all that can be heard.>

Stank - ...

FFC - ...

OBJ - ...

Spin - ...

LDW - ...

SM - ...

AA - ...

JA - ...

AA - You call THIS a promo!??

Stank - What? What's the matter?

AA - A fight in the Destroyitarium? This is the best you could do?

Stank - We had a SOUNDTRACK this time!

AA - SO? A soundtrack on it's own does NOT make for a good promo!

Stank - What about the SWERVE??

JA - I gotta admit... I didn't see that coming.

AA - Yes you did.

JA - I did?

AA - Yeah... when you said you had a bad feeling about this.

JA - Oh yeah... Yeah THAT'S RIGHT! I saw right through your ruse.

Stank - And yet you still walked right in here thinking Spin and Seamus were Phantos and Lucios.

AA - SOMEONE had to walk in to try and save this two star promo.

Stank - TWO STARS!!

AA - That's right. You heard me... two. The extra star is only because Johnny and I are in it.

Stank - You're delusional!

AA - You suck.

Stank - No you SUCK!

LDW - Wait! wait! wait! THIS is IT??? This is what we waited over a DAY for? Besides the part where we were fighting, I have to say I was expecting more.

JA - That's what Alan's been trying to s-

ALL - SHUT THE FUCK UP, JOHHNY!

LDW - Look I'm just going to play to my strengths and stick with simple! Johnny, Alan. We are going to mess you up in that ring. Stank and Capslock you can expect much of the same. And all of you need to FEAR US! Come on Jack! Let's get back to our pool game.

<Stank, FFC, Johnny, Alan, Seamus, Spin all watch Fear Us head back over by the pool tables to resume a game they had been playing.>

Stank - Hmm... simple.

AA - Direct.

JA - To the point.

FFC - No frills... no... nothing.

<The six remaining wrestlers look each other over.>

Stank - ... NAAAAH

<The BRAWL RESUMES amongst the remaining six, Fear Us! plays pool in the background.>

<ads>



<Annnd we're back!>

FFC - Well now I gotta take a piss.

JA - Make sure it's in a toilet.

FFC - I would tell you to shut the fuck up, but that would be too easy.

JA - Good. I'm tired of that anyw-

FFC - Shut the fuck up, Johnny.

<With a laugh FFC excuses himself to the restroom, leaving Stank and the Chickenshit Heels sitting at the bar drinking Arrowhead Beer. Spin has joined Fear Us! at the pool table, and Seamus has left, having squeezed out as much fun as he could.>

AA - ...

JA - ...

Stank - ... so... what have you guys been up to lately?

AA - I think Spin may have dislocated my jaw earlier.

Stank - Yep. I think I've done my part, holding up our end of this feud so far.

AA - If you call a two star effort in a one star promo "holding up your end' then, yeah. You've done your part.

Stank - Too bad Spin didn't dislocate your voice.

AA - ... How can someone dislocate a voice, exactly?

Stank - I'm sure it can be done... look it up.

<AA borrows Johnny's Treo by Sprint PCS Mobile Phone.>

AA - CHA-CHING!

[Jack Quinn]

<Interview time! SFJ13 catches up with Moosehead Jack in the back>

SFJ13: Moose, since your brutal match with Crete at Hell On Earth IV, you have been relatively low key requesting matches against Tyson Kincaid and Damon Wrath, as well as earning a title match against Spin Hansen, a match you lost by the way, would you care to comment?

MHJ: Well let's take Spin first. Congrats champ, you won.

SFJ13: That's all?

MHJ: Look, there are a lot of people who question Spin as champion because of the way he won the title. A lot of people think that he will crumble as soon as he is tested. Those people are idiots.

SFJ13: So you are saying he is the real deal?

MHJ: I am saying Spin has always been the real deal. One day, our paths may cross again, if I decide that the intercontinental title is something I want to set my sights on. Right now, that is not the case.

SFJ13: So, this brings us to your matches with Tyson Kincaid and Damon Wrath, what are your motives behind this?

MHJ: It's really simple. Everyone says the war is over. And in the incarnation that we knew it, Rick's side verses Bennett's side, that is true, but anyone who thinks there is not still a war going on is only fooling themselves.

SFJ13: There is?

MHJ: Of course there is. DEA is walking around here like they own the place, and since the world champion is in their midst they are somewhat right. On the other side, you have Drink and Destroy. Both sides want control, both sides have wronged the other, at some point those two sides are going to go to war.

SFJ13: But, you have loose alliances to both sides!

MHJ: I do. That doesn't mean that I will align with either side though.

SFJ13: So, if you are going to remain neutral, what are you doing requesting matches with Damon Wrath and Tyson Kincaid

MHJ: Its very simple really. If things fall apart for two sides, someone will have to step in and reap the benefits.

SFJ13: So, you are RECRUITING Wrath and Kincaid?

MHJ: Not so fast. Recruiting is a strong word. Lets just say I am testing their mettle to see how they would hold up. Nothing more, nothing less.

[fasteddie]

(We now catch up to Tytan's saga with the Crazy CLown Car sent by IHOP)

Tytan: Like I said before now you are pissing me off!

(Lola looks over to the cameraman)

Lola: This gives new meaning to send in the Clowns!

(Then as if on cue Dame Judi Dench appears to give her rendition of the song.)




Tytan: (Stopping himself from trottling the clowns.) What the hell was that? This is my promo.

Judi: Well, I had to keep myself busy until. Quantum of Solice gets to the theaters on November 14.

Lola: Talk about shameless plugs.!

(Then as if on cue Mick Foley walks on to the scene.)

Mick: The lady is a smart one, she took a page out of my book.

(Mick holds up his book as Judi interupts him.)

Judi: The proper title is Dame not Lady.

Mick: Sorry.

(Lola and the cameraman look at each other confused.)

Tytan: Hello! This is my promo! You guys should be focused on me!

Mick: Come on Tytan we know what's going to happen. You are going to get pissed off. The clowns are going to keep to stupid stuff to you that just isn't going to work. And then you are going to kick there asses.

Tytan: Right. Now shut up and let me do what I do best.

Mick: Come on Tytan we need to try something different for a change. You were starting to get some where with the whole Gods and Monsters thing.

(Just then we hear a loud crack and watch Mick Foley hit the ground. The camera pans back to see Judi Dench standing over him with a chair. She just delivered a hellish chair shot on Mick.)



Judi: Will he just shut up!

(Just then Eric O' Mac pulls up in his car and jump out)

Eric: Ha!

(He gets in his car and drives off.)

Tytan: Thanks Judi!

Judi: No problem. Thanks for the free promo time!

Tytan: just make sure I have my tickets to the preimere.

Judi: I will.

(Judi leaves.)

Lola: What in the hell is going on here?

Tytan: Promo! The clowns! Now!

(The camera then pans over to watch exactly what Mick says was going to happen.)

MicK: (Groogy) See I told you so!

(Lola then grabs the chair and hits him with it.)

Lola: Judi was right just shut up! And this promo weas brought to you by Quantum Of Solice hitting theathers November 14.





(Fade)

[Fire-Babe]

Team RunDEA has booked some time in the Arena to train and stuff. Of course, not everyone is there, yet… but Firewoman, Alexis, and Jericho are. Alexander comes walking in ready to go, then looks around.

AD: Where is Davin?

FW: Huh? Not here. Probably with Sam somewhere.

AD: Great. And Phantos? Lucios?

FW: I dunno, they said this was a good time, then they walked in and saw us, and Captain Phantos said something about forgetting he needed to do something, and left. That was kind of weird, wasn’t it?

LD: You’re kidding, right? You really don’t know?

FW: There’s a lot I don’t know about him.

LD: Yeah, but this is pretty obvious.

CJ: It is. You are seriously clueless.

FW: Whatever. You getting in the ring, or what?

AD: No. It looks a little crowded in here.

LD: Oh please. This again?

AD: What is he doing here?

CJ: Hey, assclown….He is temporarily in your little team for the week, so you may as well just deal with it.

AD: Yeah. I’m outta here.
He starts to leave, but then Alexis calls him back

LD: Alex wait. Can we at least show you something we’ve been working on?

AD: Fine. What.

FW: I don’t think this is a good idea.

LD: You’ll need to get in the ring. Chris would you mind being—

CJ: No way. I don’t trust him.

AD: Great. Outta here.

LD: Alexander Brian Darling, get into this ring right now.

Firewoman and Jericho giggle at the use of Alexander’s middle name. Alexander glares at them and gets in the ring.

FW: Really, Lexie…

LD: Hush. Brother dear, come here. You stand behind Chris here, like so.

She maneuvers him into the right position. Firewoman and Alexis stand on either side of Jericho.

LD: Ready?

CJ: Fine.

FW: This is so not a good idea.

LD: Wait.
She throws a towel over the ninjacam so that we can't see anything.

LD: GO!

We here the sounds of wrestling. There is a pause, then we hear Alexander say "Seriously?" and Lexie ordering him to "DO IT!" There's a slight pause, and then the sound of something hitting the canvas hard. The camera takes the towel off, and refocuses. We see Chris Jericho face first on the ground. Firewoman rushes over to check on him, and rolls him over to see his mouth bloodied. At the sight, Firewoman turns angrily towards Alexander

CJ: Great. The cap on my broken tooth got knocked out.

FW: A little hard, don’t you think Alex? Lexie, I told you this was a bad idea.

AD: Hey, you all told me too.

LD: Fire….FIRE! It’s fine! No one is hurt.

CJ: Yeah, it’s just a tooth. I’m going to go see about getting it fixed.
He walks off towards the locker rooms.

FW: Alex, I don’t know what your deal is but—

LD: LISA! It’s fine! I know Tyson’s got you on edge—

FW: Tyson has me nowhere near the edge.

LD: Whatever. Go hit the showers. I’ll be there in a minute.
She smiles. Firewoman smiles.

FW: Alright, whatever you say. [She starts to walk away and then calls back] It was great getting sweaty with you again, Lexie.

AD: Alright, I’m standing right here.

Firewoman leaves, still glaring at Alexander

AD: You want her to kill me. That’s the only explanation. Has Sam found her prescription?

LD: Brother dear, that was a killer move. You have to admit.

AD: It is.

[Mikey]

[Johnny Adrenaline walks out of the bathroom at the Destroyatorium. he taps AA on the shoulder and signals him to step away from the bar for a private word.]

AA: What's up, man? Lock piss on the seat?

JA: Yeah.

AA: You dragged me away from that fine Arrowhead beer to tell me that?

JA: No.

AA: Then what DID you drag me over here for? We're not being very social, ya know.

JA: Look, look... it's me, it's Johnny. I'm back.

AA: Back from the pisser? Let's just make an announcement to the whole bar. HEY EVERYBODY! JOHNNY'S BACK FROM THE PISSER!

FFC: PUT THE SEAT BACK UP, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!

JA: FUCK YOU! [back to AA] Look man... remember the flight to Dallas? The one you were too sick to cover for?

AA: Oh, are we breaking kayfabe now?

JA: Yes.

[Kayfabe holds up an "as always" sign.]

AA: Yes, what about it? Was it a successful trip?

JA: Very much so. Look, I did some sightseeing while I was there, and you're not gonna believe this shit.

AA: Oh Johnny, I already know. Bobby didn't die, it was all a dream.

JA: Huh?

AA: Dallas? Southfork Ranch? The famous Ewing family?

JA: No no no... check this out. I went down to Dealey Plaza in downtown Dallas. Ya know, the Texas School Book Depository? The Grassy Knoll? Went into the JFK Museum there and came across some photographs. They wouldn't allow cameras in the place, so I went back after hours, broke in, and stole 'em. Look at this:

[Johnny pulls a envelope out of his... his... well, from somewhere and shows AA a picture.]



JA: Lee Harvey Oswald didn't kill President Kennedy. Capslock did! And from the Grassy Knoll!

AA: Wait, if he did it from the Grassy Knoll, that means there WERE two shooters. Then who....?

JA: Yeah, take a guess...

[Johnny shows AA a second picture.]



JA: Capslock from the knoll... Stank from the Depository! It was a setup and more importantly, it was a CONSPIRACY!

AA: That doesn't look like Stank to me.

JA: What are you talking about?

AA: That looks like a shadow.

JA: Man, they all look alike. Just work with me here.

AA: So were they working for the CIA? The Cubans? The Russkies?

JA: Hell if I know.

AA: Were they using a time machine or something?

JA: I dunno, but the proof is in the pudding. Right there. [flicks the pictures]

AA: Ya think we oughtta alert the authorities?

JA: You kiddin? Crimes that happen in the wrestling business don't get dealt with by police. They get handled...

AA & JA: ...IN THE RING!

JA: Exactly. We're fucking patriots now, fighting the good fight against the evil of the world.

AA: Like the U.S. Government?

JA: Fucking right.

AA: So if we're patriots, do I get to be Firebreaker Chip?

JA: Shut the fuck up, Alan.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

*OOC* HO. LEE. SHIT.

There aren't enough exalts for that one, Mikey.

[DevSop]

*Run DEA Luxury Suites*

It's a quiet night in the suites as Davin and Samantha have gone off for god knows where; Firewoman, Lucky, and Jericho are all in whatever town Raw was originating from; and the OOWF World Tag Team Champions, Phantos & Lucios, were in an unknown location preparing for a big tag title defense. With the majority of their members out of town, it's surprising to see Alexander and Alexis Darling at the arena and relaxing in their suite.

Alexis: You do realize this is a stupid idea and we're just asking to be attacked, right?

Alexander: Been there, done that, got the bruises to prove it.

Alexis: Yea, and about that...why haven't you gone out looking for him? Hell, why does it seem like you don't care about anything anymore?

Alexander: What am I supposed to do Alexis? Go on a long search for Donnie fucking Viper and hope to find him some place where I can lay another beating on him?

Alexis: Well, it's what you normally would do.

Alexander: Things have changed Lexie. You know that as well as I do. There was a time when I would have needed to go after Viper to make sure people knew who I was. But the time has past. If people don't realize who I am, that's their mistake and I'll make sure they pay for making it.

Alexis: What's going on with you brother dear? I don't think I've seen you like this for a while.

Alexander: I'm content.

Alexis: Content, really? Why are you so content?

Alexander: Because I get to go out there this week and I don't have to worry about a chair being slammed upside my head. I don't have to look behind me to see if someone is coming after me with barb wire. I don't have to worry about cleaning up hundreds of little cuts from shards of light tubes. It's just going to be and Chris Cole. May the best man win.

Alexis: First of all, you clean up your own cuts? What am I, invisible as I pick out those pieces of glass? A little gratitude Alex. And secondly, aren't you worried about Cole being the best man in a match like this.

The Darling twins just look at each other for a moment before they both start to chuckle.

Alexander: Very funny sister dear. And I've shown you tons of gratitude for dealing with the abuse I go through in that ring. With regards to Cole, I held back every challenge of his for the Intercontinental Championship and I know he won't be able to do the same with the Onslaught belt. I have his number in any kind of match. This company may have seen the brutal side of Alexander Darling, starting this week at Mayhem, they'll get to see the efficient side as I continue tearing apart Chris Cole piece by piece.

Alexis: You don't doubt for confidence, that's for sure.

Alexander: Never have, never will...but then again, neither have you. Why haven't you said anything about your match this week?

Alexis: Oh, I plan on it, but I've been waiting on something. And I should be ready by tomorrow.

Alexander: And do I get to know what secrets you're holding sister dear?

Alexis: Well, you have been a very calming influence around here lately dealing with Samantha and Davin. And you haven't killed Chris which is good for Fire and all of us. I guess I can let you in on this one little secret, brother dear.

Alexis walks over to her brother and sits real close to him on the couch before leaning in and whispering to her brother. Alexander's smile slowly starts to get wider and wider.

Alexander: Really, you got her to agree?

Alexis: Quiet Xan...you know how persuasive I can be.

Alexis leans into her brother as the television flips on and images of Chris Cole and 3 Piece Set start to flash on screen.

*Fade*

[The Jewish Cunthead]

*FADE IN TO THE PALATIAL IHOP LOCKER ROOM*

<SYB, Skurge, and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth are sulking>

SYB <flexing his face after taking off the mask>: Where’s The Amnesiac? Where’s Fezzik?

Skurge: They’re preparing for the EOM match.

SYB: Eric vs. The Amnesiac already?

Skurge: I know, nothing like a slow burn, eh?

SYB: Totally.

<Skurge shoots him a look>

SYB: Sorry. Totarry.

DM: <snaps her fingers in their faces> HEY HEY! Stop worrying about The Amnesiac and Fezzik. We have a triple threat match tomorrow against Phantos & Lucios and Gods & Monsters.

Skurge: …

SYB: …

DM: Christ. I mean against Phantoms & Lunchables and Gimps & Munsters.

<Skurge and SYB start to snicker>

DM: Can you two clowns focus on the matter at hand?

SYB: I’m totally focused, sweet tits. Tonight the tag titles, next week the Cumpleanos De Taze.

Skurge: The chimpionship.

SYB: That’s awesome.

Skurge: I know, eh?

<DM looks toward the sky and mouths “Why me?”>

*FADE*

[Jack Quinn]

<Moose is walking through the back of the arena, and comes across Crete, who is just finishing up a promo>

CTG:.......and THAT, Citizen Davin, is why it is my destiny, no, my DUTY to win the OOWF title from you and restore it to its rightful position of honor and dignity! You have been warned, come Wednesday, you will be punished.

CTG: We clear? That good? Cool.

<Crete turns around to leave and nearly runs into Moose. Moose gives Crete the slow clap of sarcasm>

CTG: Citizen Moose

MHJ: Well well, Crete, some big words for Davin there. I see you managed to turn your win over me at the pay per view into some title shots

CTG: I would like to think it was my record over the last four years that got me these matches, and not nearly killing myself to beat you

MHJ: Think what you want. You have unfinished business with Firewoman, and now you are challenging Davin. It would be a real shame if you bit off more than you can chew

CTG: Yes, I know my physical well-being is a real concern to you. What do you want

MHJ: Me? Oh nothing.

CTG: Cut the crap Moose, you ALWAYS want something

MHJ: All I am saying is it would be a DAMN shame if you met with an unfortunate............accident

<Moose smirks and walks away leaving Crete glancing around suspiciously>

[Fire-Babe]

Crete walks through the halls, still glancing a bit suspiciously, then heads out of the arena. He decides to cut through a park on the way to the hotel. He walks along the fall leaves, and then by a stream, when he sees a figure seated, cross-legged, hands palm-up on her legs. The sunlight glints off of her hair and she appears to be in deep meditation. Takaken approaches her.

CTG: [whispering] Citizen...ma'am. I don't mean to disturb you, but it isn't safe for you to be alone in the park.

The figure doesn't respond, and doesn't move. Crete approaches more closely, and speak a little louder.

CTG: I'm sorry...ma'am....A lady such as yourself should not be here unescorted. I must insist that I stand by and keep watch.

She doesn't respond. Crete continues to approach.

CTG: Miss... please...the fact that you cannot hear me approach you shows what danger you might be in, if some miscreant or ne'er-do-well were to sneak up on you. You should have someone watching over you.

Again, no response. Crete is clearly getting frustrated, but continues to walk slowly up to the woman. His footfalls are barely audible until...CRACK...he steps on a stick. The woman's back stiffens, as she has now been disturbed. She starts to stand and turn quickly towards Gryfon.

CTG: I'm sorry. I was trying not to disturb you but--

FW: Well, you didn't try that hard. I heard you the minute you rounded the corner.

CTG: What are you doing out here? Aren't you usually in your locker room?

FW: How is this any of your fucking business? I have enough to deal with without answering stupid questions from you.

CTG: Citizen Fire!! Are you alright? That's quite an extreme response, even from you...

FW: I would be totally fine if you would just leave me alone. Unless you want to start something right here. With no one to "save you."

CTG: I need no one to save me.

FW: Fine. Now that you've ruined my meditation I'll need to work off this anger some other way.

Firewoman leaves back up the path. Concrete, thinks a moment, and realizes that there are all sorts of anti-social ways in which Firewoman could do this, and starts to follow. He only gets a little way up the path, when a tree branch snaps back and WHACK! hits him right between the eyes. Concrete falls flat on his back, and is only barely aware of Firewoman standing over him.

FW: OOooooo......darn. That looked like that had to hurt. My. What an unfortunate accident....

[Eric O'Mac]

*Eric O'Mac happens to be walking by.*

Eric: HA!

*Eric walks away.*



























*And the camera is still on Eric when he walks over to the arena. Backstage, The Amnesiac is talking with Fiona Michelle Denton-O'Mac.*

Amnesiac: Fiona, I'm not sure that you understood me before, so I'm going to tell you one more time. And to assist me is Garrett Morris, headmaster of the New York school for the hard of hearing.

*A black man materializes out of nowhere.*

Amneisac: Fiona, you and Eric are not husband and wife.

Garrett Morris: FIONA, YOU AND ERIC ARE NOT HUSBAND AND WIFE!

Amnesiac: He will never be attracted to you.

Garrett Morris: HE WILL NEVER BE ATTRACTED TO YOU!

Amnesiac: You're acting like a psycho bitch.

Garrett Morris: YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A PSYCHO BITCH!

Amnesiac: Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Garrett Morris: GOOD NIGHT! AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW!!!

*The Amnesiac walks away.*

FMD-OM: We'll see what happens.

*Fiona turns to walk away.*

Garrett Morris: Oohh, I like your ass.

*Fade out.*

[The Jewish Cunthead]

*OOC* there's an exalt for EOM

[wld]

**Fear Us are still playing pool. OBJ sinks the eight ball to win yet another game.**

LD: “That’s it, I’m out.”

OBJ: “I’ll spot you another game.”

LD: “That’s all right. I should do a little work anyway. Back me up?”

OBJ: “Of course.”

**They wander over to the bar where D&D and the Chickenshit Heels are sitting.**

LD: “AA, Joey thumbs wants his money.”

AA: “Who?”

LD: “Don’t play dumb. You make the bets, you gotta cover your losses. Pay up.”

AA: “I don’t remember anybody named Joey Thumbs.”

S: “You’re so far in debt that you don’t remember who you owe? That’s sad.”

AA: “No, it’s just-”

JA: “Why do they call him Joey Thumbs?”

LD: “He has a collection. Look AA, either we do this the easy way or-”

AA: “Or what? You’re gonna beat me up? How is that different than any other day?”

LD: <sigh> “If you insist.”

**WLD starts writing a PM to K-Dawg.**

AA: “Alright! Alright! You win, you rat bastard.”

**AA removes his boot and takes out a wad of cash. He hands several bills to LD.**

JA: “You carry money in your boot?”

AA: “For emergencies.”:

FFC: “Explains the limp…”

LD: <counting the money> “Pleasure doing business with you AA.”

AA: “You Suck!”

**LD chuckles and Fear Us leave the Destroyitarium. As they walk down the hall, LD hands half the money to OBJ.”

OBJ: “What about Joey Thumbs?”

LD: “I made him up.”

OBJ: “What?”

LD: “I’m hungry, and you won all my cash.”

OBJ: “So, I just helped you extort money from AA.”

LD: “Pretty much.”

OBJ: “Huh...I can see why your mother enjoys the work.”

[BC]

It is dark in what appears to be a cemetery somewhere near Springfield, SC. The only light comes from a torch being held by Poe. Selena is kneeling what can be assumed as a grave. Her face is covered by a veil and she seems to be crying as she holds a bouquet of flowers.

SG: Master…will you please say a few words as only you can. *sob*

Poe does not move. The bloody towel over his head hides his face from the torchlight.

Poe: “Once it smiled a silent dell
Where the people did not dwell:
They had gone unto the wars,
Trusting to the mild-eyed stars,
Nightly from their azure towers,
To keep watch above the flowers,
In the midst of which all day
The red sunlight lazily lay.”

Poe pauses as Selena starts pulling apart the bouquet of flowers she’s holding and starts tossing them on the grave one by one.

Poe: “Now each visitor shall confess
The sad valley’s restlessness.

Poe once again pauses as the wind picks up, blowing fallen leaves around them as the torchlight flickers. Selena picks up a particularly large amber leaf and studies it, sobbing, before dropping it back on the grave.

Poe: “Nothing there is motionless –
Nothing save the airs that brood
Over the magic solitude.”

Poe stops again as the wind blows harder. Poe visibly moves for the first time as he watches the trees rustle from the wind.

Poe: “Ah, by no wind are stirred those trees
That palpitate like the chill seas
Around the misty Hebrides!
Ah, by no wind those clouds are driven
That rustle through the unquiet Heaven
Uneasily, from morn till even,
Over the violets there that lie
In myriad types of the human eye –
Over the lilies there that wave
And weep above a nameless grave!”

Selena wails like a broken hearted banshee.

Poe: “They wave: - from out their fragrant tops
Eternal dews come down in drops.
They weep: - from off their delicate stems
Perennial tears descend in gems.”

Selena suddenly sprinkles shards of what look like glass over the grave. She then begins to laugh, almost evilly. Poe begins to laugh as well. He places the torch in front of the gravestone so we can read it for the first time. It reads:

Phantos & Lucios
OOWF Tag Team Champions
July 27, 2008
November 5, 2008

SG: Aw, we hardly knew yee.

Poe: See you tomorrow night boys. Rest in Peace. Namesdeh.

Selena grabs the torch from Poe and lights the flowers on the grave on fire. Poe and Selena stare into the flames.

SG: Nevermore.


Poem lyrics from "The Valley of Unrest" by Edgar Allen Poe

[DevSop]

*Backstage at the OOWF Arena*

We've gotten word that Run DEA has requested a backstage interview, but no one has been informed of any specifics and even SFJ420 has no information. In fact, we were explicitly informed not to send an interviewer and last mention of SFJ420 involved some chocolate frosted donuts so we know she wont be conducting this interview. Suddenly this starts to play...



and this person appears on screen;

Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson: Hello OOWF, it is I, Shawn Johnson, the first and probably only gold medalist to ever appear in this company. I have been hired by the very elite of this company to ask the tough questions and prove to everyone in the world that only the truly best can and will be associated with Run DEA. And that brings me to my first interview subjects; the best brother and sister tandem to ever appear in a wrestling ring; Alexander and Alexis Darling. It's good to have you here.

Alexis: Shawn, Shawn, Shawn...it's so good to see you.

Alexander has the widest smile and is almost jumping up and down as he walks up beside his sister.
Alexander: I can't believe you got her here. You're the best sister ever. How the hell...

OGMSJ: Is he always like that?

Alexis: Not "always," but you are a gold medalist and he has always been a big fan. He'll get over it soon. I did warn you about that and you said you wouldn't get creeped out.

OGMSJ: Oh, I'm not creeped out at all. He's not the only one who's a fan of someone. I've followed both of you since your days in IWA.

Alexis: You actually watched IWA?

OGMSJ: Fuck yea. I may play the part of the all-american sweetheart, but I'm hardcore. You guys were never given the respect...

Alexander growls, even while having a huge smile plastered on his face...

Alexis: We don't mention the "R" word around these parts. We leave that for others.

OGMSJ: Damn it...I knew that too. Won't happen again Alexis. But I guess it's time to get down to business.

Alexis: It's your job Shawn...take it away.

OGMSJ: Sweet. Well, we heard from your brother last night and maybe in a minute or two we can get some last minute comments from him about his title match, but this interview time is yours. You haven't been in action for quite a while...why now?

Alexis: Because go...nah, that's played out and it was never funny to begin with. Truthfully Shawn, I know that I do my best work in the background but Run DEA is so dominant right now and it was time to prove I could do just as good in the foreground.

OGMSJ: Personally, I know you'll do it. But while you're in the foreground do you have any specific goals?

Alexis: I do Shawn, and it starts tomorrow by taking out the trash we had to carry in Run DEA for far too long. Carl from Fresno or fucknuts from the streets, I don't care what you want to be called. Tomorrow night, you'll find out that Alexis Darling can do more than sign a contract. I can end a career.

OGMSJ: Alexis, Run DEA, truthfully; outside of the greatest tag team Champions in the history of this company, Phantos and Lucios, has looked a tad bit stagnant since the big night at Hell on Earth. Why do you think that is?

Alexis: It's quite simple Shawn, they've all realized they can't compete with us. Two former world champs are busy playing quarters or whatever the fuck they do in the Destroyatorium to challenge Davin and as much as we may argue, there is no doubt as to why they won't challenge him. They can't win and they know it. He is the absolute best champion this company could have right now. And besides that, no one is willing to go through Alexander here to get him.

OGMSJ: What do you mean by that?

With a patented Alexander Darling smirk,
Alexander: Shawn, if I could handle that; lots of people have been wondering why I'm okay taking a so-called backseat to Davin. I mean we haven't always seen eye-to-eye, ya could say. But from day one in this company, I've made one thing clear, titles are power. And yes, if you look down at my chiseled physique you won't see any championship gold, but if you walk into the Run DEA Luxury Suites, you'll see 3 of those championship belts. After tomorrow it'll be four. Whenever Firewoman decides to make it a goal to strip Lord Voltron of his belt it will be fine and...

Alexis: I don't think so brother dear. Let's not let that cat out of the bag yet. In due time, in due time...

OGMSJ: Well, some interesting news from the Darlings...is there anything else you want to say about that issue?

Alexis: My brother does tend to ramble at times so I'll make it simple. It doesn't matter who holds the gold in Run DEA as long as Run DEA holds the gold. And as the days pass by, it becomes more and more obvious that no one is willing to step up and challenge our dominance.

OGMSJ: And a dominant group you have been in your time here. Any last words for Carl?

Alexis: Just two...BOOYAH, Bitch!!!

Alexander just turns and stares at his sister like he can't believe she stole his catchphrase. She just smiles and tosses her jet black hair over her shoulders.

OGMSJ: Anything to add Alexander?

Alexander: Is nothing sacred anymore?

Alexis: Oh you know you love me brother dear. Now let's wrap this up. I have a few calls to make if you expect to get everyone here this weekend for your training.

OGMSJ: Ooooh, training...can I come watch?

Alexander: I'd hope you would. It should be an interesting session. Got some combustible people coming in. It'll be fun. But Shawn, if I may get one thing off my chest. Chris Cole, it seems like you've gone into hiding once you realized you'd have to face one of your demons. You may have a new focus and a new belt to go along with it. But I've already taken your dignity, so taking your last shred of confidence and your belt won't be a big deal to me. And if Run DEA has said it once, we've said it a thousand times already...try and fucking stop me Cole.

OGMSJ: Big words from the Darlings, tune in tomorrow and see what transpires. For OOWF television and more importantly, Run DEA...I am Olympic Gold Medalist, Shawn Johnson...ta-ta losers.

Alexander: Nice sign-off, I like it. So, what are the chances of me touching one of your medals?

Shawn: That all depends Alexander...

Whispering to herself,
Alexis: Please don't ask, please don't ask.

Alexander: Depends on what?

Still whispering,
Alexis: Shit, he asked...

Shawn: On what you let me handle...

Now to everyone,
Alexis: Okay, that's enough...let's just get back to the suites.

*fade*

[Riot Act]

*OOC* Mmmmm...Shawn Johnson...

Wait, what? She's only 16? OK...

Mmmmm....Alicia Sacramone...

[DevSop]

Nov 4, 2008 20:57:54 GMT -5 Riot Act said:

*OOC* Mmmmm...Shawn Johnson...

Wait, what? She's female? OK...

Mmmmm....Paul & Morgan Hammmmmmmm...

Fixed for ya, buddy.

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman and Jericho return from his triumphant victory at Monday Night RAW, live from Tampa, FL to find Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson in the RunDEA Suites presented by Starwood Hotels.

FW: What the hell?

OGMSJ: Oh my gosh. Firewoman! It's a pleasure to meet you! I am SUCH a huge fan.

She holds out her hand to shake it. Firewoman delays a minute, and then shakes it.

FW: What are you doing in here?

OGMSJ: I am Alexander's new interviewer.

FW: Interviewer. Is that what he's calling it these days?

OGMSJ: Huh?

FW: Nothing. Welcome aboard, and good luck. And stay out of my locker room.

They walk to the locker rooms.

Y2J: Wow. No Jamie Lynn Spears or LG15 treatment for her?

FW: No.

Y2J: Huh...I wonder if Sacrimone is available...I'll need to call Vince....

[National Champion Chris Cole]

Chris Cole: Into hiding? I cut a promo earlier this week. Does he expect me to troll around and have to add a comment after any promo that mentions my name? I'm not Davin Moreland.

Harper Camby: Isn't that kinda what you are doing in this promo?

CC: Aww Shit.

[Fire-Babe]

We fade to the OOWF ring, which is set up with two tall barstools, a decorative canvas, and a monitor hanging in the center. “Lux Aeterna” by Clint Mansell begins, and Davin Moreland comes down to the ramp, accompanied as always by the lovely Samantha Darling. Davin has the World Championship belt over his shoulder as he ignores the boos of the crowd. He walks up the steps and then holds the ropes open for Samantha, who also enters. Davin soaks up the heat from the crowd and then once it dies down a bit, he begins.

DM: As OOWF Champion, I have many duties. I have to carry this big belt around, for example. [The crowd boos.] And I get to welcome visitors to the OOWF. This is just such an occasion. Thanks in large part to the negotiating abilities of the OOWF staff, and a few personal connections, it is my great pleasure to introduce our guest this evening. Hit the music.

The lights dim, and a countdown starts on the OOWF-tron. “Break the Walls Down” blasts over the speaker, and WWE’s Chris Jericho walks down the ramp, carrying the WWE World Heavyweight championship. The fans cheer at first, because he’s a WWE performer at OOWF show! But their cheers turn to boos as they remember Kayfabe, and Jericho gets in the ring, shakes Davin’s and Samantha’s hands, and takes his own mic.

DM: From one world champion to another, welcome.

The crowd continues its loud boos.

CJ: Well, well, well. So much for the fabled OOWF audience hospitality. It’s been very educational, being here all week, seeing how the hypocrisy that I complain about in the big leagues is alive and well here in the minors. [more boos]. But I’m not here to save you all. I’m here to do a special remote edition of . . . . the Highlight Reel.

The monitor hanging in the ring flickers on, and we see the logo for the new Jeritron 6000 by Sony. The crowd cheers, but then Kayfabe appears again and they stop.

CJ: I’d like to start this special episode of Highlight Reel by bringing my first guest to the ring. This wrestler needs no introduction. No one has electrified the OOWF from the moment they set foot in the arena almost a year ago like this performer. No one personifies the energy, the passion, and yes, the beauty of our sport, like this performer. Music please?

The Cult’s “Firewoman” fires up, and Firewoman arrives at the top of the ramp, escorted by Phantos and Lucios. The crowd boos, but she gets applause from Samantha, Davin and Jericho. She walks to the ring, waving, and Team Aquafina goes backstage. Fire enters the ring as Jericho holds the ropes for her. She fist-bumps Davin, nods at Sam, and gives Jericho a quick kiss on the cheek. He motions for her to have a seat.

CJ: Now, Firewoman. In the last few weeks … heck, ever since you got here really. All sorts of allegations have been made about you. Attitude Adjuster claimed you were pregnant, which led to what I think was the swerve of the year. He calls you a skank. And then, Tyson Kincaid makes some equally nasty statements. Now’s your chance to respond.

FW: Thanks Chris. It’s true, there have been some of my colleagues here that, for whatever reason, decided to attack me. Not in the ring of course. But you know, that’s fine. It’s part of the business.

CJ: Well, one thing is not part of the business, and that’s the ugly allegations made by one Tyson Kincaid last week. Roll the clip, trunk monkeys.

The only reason that you were so close to me during our time together was so that I wouldn’t leave you behind. You thought that I was your meal ticket and you held onto my coattails for dear life. However, when you saw an opportunity for yourself, you took it. You left me and never gave it a second thought because I was never a part of your life, I was only a tool to be used for your own prosperity.

CJ: Now…Fire….I know how painful that must have been to hear. I was there during that era of your career, but … well, you can speak for yourself, and I wanted to make sure you had this opportunity to answer in your own words.

Fire takes the mic, and looks down for a bit, collecting her thoughts. She looks really sad.

FW: Thanks, Chris. You know… well, I’ve been holding so much of this inside—

CJ: It’s okay. Just let it all out.

FW: Well…I just wanted to say ….. [her demeanor changes from sad to angry]…..That the bullshit stops here and now. And that goes for all of you punks in the back that want to start shit by spreading lies instead of the things that I actually said and did. That means you, Attitude Adjuster, a Chickenshit Heel, with Johnny Adrenaline. Concrete Takaken Gryfon of the Hero’s Guild, Eric O’ Mac--
What, you pissed off cos your daddy gets more pussy than you? Fuck you.

She stands up from her seat.

CJ: Uh…Fire….did you take your-- Davin, did she take—

Davin shrugs, Sam starts looking around in her purse.

FW: Tyson Kincaid and Lance Storm. You all want to know what happened? I didn’t kill our friendship. Tyson killed our friendship.. Did I leave you in the dust at the first possible opportunity? Damn straight. And why? You are really asking that? Chris, I don’t suppose we have tape about why, do we?

CJ: Monkeys….

The Jeritron plays grainy footage from a tag team match at SWA. Firewoman and Tyson are tearing it up against another team and doing very well. Clearly you can see that they are head and shoulders above anyone else there. Firewoman runs towards Tyson and puts her foot out so he can loft her into a moonsault. Except he fumbles the foot hold and instead of gracefully flipping and landing on her opponent, Fire tumbles and lands awkwardly on the mat. She tries to get up, but falls back down, holding her head. The ref comes over and checks, as Tyson stands stunned. The ref makes the dreaded X, and real medical staff come out, as Lance Storm climbs in the ring and begins to talk to Tyson and then appears to be checking his eyes. The screen goes black.

FW: That little oopsie was caused by some sort of alcohol/opiate combination that night, if I remember correctly, and cost me 3 days in the hospital for a concussion. So yeah. If that makes me an opportunistic bitch for wanting to get as far away from you as possible, and maybe, you know, stay alive, so be it. Lance could have taken care of it then, but he didn’t, and he never did. So, go ahead, and lie to the fans, Tyson about your pitiful existence, and how you’re just misunderstood, and have all these problems.

Firewoman starts to get angrier, and begins pacing. Davin and Chris look nervously at each other, as Samantha starts digging in her purse.

You’re a fraud. You been ripping off the fucking fans, while they be paying their hard earned money to see wrestling by people that actually know what they’re doing. Spreading lies, starting controversy.

Seeing the past match appears to have really worked Firewoman up. Samantha is checking various prescription bottles in her purse and shaking her head no at each one. Jericho looks like he wants to approach Firewoman, but thinks better of it.

And now you follow me here and start this all up here? What is wrong with you? Have you burned out all the brain cells that contain your memories? You wanna antagonize me? Antagonize me motherfucker! Get in the ring, motherfucker! And I'll kick your bitchy little ass! Punk!

Fire drops the mic with a thud just as Tyson and Lance appear at the top of the ramp. They come down to the ring to applause. Firewoman makes the international “Just Bring It” sign, as they make their way under the ropes, careful to not turn their backs on anyone in the ring. Jericho takes this moment to step in front of Firewoman.

CJ: Okay, now Lance. You and I have been friends for a long time, even if we’ve had some disagreements recently. I know we have this match coming up, but—

LS: Just hold on, Chris. If I may be serious for a moment, Firewoman has had her say, I think it’s Tyson’s turn.

TK: You know, it’s true. I was high that night. And I caused Firewoman’s injury. And I have atoned for that. I’ve had enough of being ridiculed by you. I’ve paid my dues, and I’ve conquered my demons. You need to respect that.

The crowd cheers at this. Firewoman looks around, sneering. Davin signals to Sam to get out of the ring, which she does.

FW: Really Tyson? I'll believe that when Nanny Storm isn't here to run interference between you and your dealers. When he's gone, after Mayhem, we'll see that it's back to being the same old Tyson. Just add alcohol.

The boos are deafening. Tyson shakes his head in disappointment. Lance looks to Jericho for … something. Jericho just shakes his head. Tyson steps up face-to-face with Firewoman and says something like “Take it back” but the mics can’t quite pick it up. Firewoman smirks, and shakes her head no. Tyson says something else, and whatever it is, it was the wrong thing to say, because Firewoman hauls back and lets loose with the Bitchslap of Disrespect. Tyson rubs his jaw, and it’s on! Firewoman and Tyson brawl like…well, like two people with a lot of issues to work out. Jericho and Storm try to separate them, when Storm accidentally clocks Jericho upside the head. Jericho takes offense to this and starts a shoving match with Storm. That clears the way for Firewoman to kick Tyson in the stomach and set him up for a bulldog. But Tyson is too quick and counters, pushing Firewoman headfirst into the ring post. Davin has seen just about enough, and grabs Tyson. He picks him up and throws him backwards…right through the Jeritron 6000! Ah, Jeritron 6000, we hardly knew ye. Tyson lays on the canvas. Lance sees this and tries to get to Davin, but he still has Jericho to contend with. The three of them brawl in the corner farthest from the ramp. Tyson and Firewoman both begin to come to at about the same time. Tyson checks the back of his head for blood, finding a little. Lance is busy with Davin and Jericho.

Tyson sees Firewoman start to turn back towards the center of the ring, and sees his chance. He kicks her hard in the stomach and Firewoman is down, amid the remains of the Jeritron 6000, and begins the stomping. But not for long, because Alexander comes running down to the aid of his partner, who has more than a few cuts from the debris. He pushes Tyson away and stands between them. Tyson takes a chance, and rushes Alexander. Alexander drop toe-holds him, and Tyson lands face first on the mat. Alexander quickly moves to get him in position for the curbstomp! But … at that moment, referees and security and medical personnel swarm the ring, separating everyone. The various groups settle into their groups, with Lance and Tyson leaving first. Alexander helps Firewoman to her feet. Jericho nods appreciation, reluctantly, in his general direction, which Alexander returns, and the various members of RunDEA head to the back, once security gives the okay.

[Tommy]

*Davin Moreland and Samantha Darling are dressed to the nines, entering the Arena in Springfield, arm-in-arm. They pass by GM the Rick's office, and he happens to be standing outside the door.*

GMtR: 1:29. Just made it.

DM: Wow. Seriously go fuck yourself, Rick. Unless I'm officially punching a timeclock; that's what you can do.

GMtR: You are to check-in at 1:30 PM on the day of the show. That's not asking much.

DM: It is when you're busy with other things.

SD: Seriously Rick. I mean what, you need us here to watch D&D and TCH cut the same fucking promo again?

GMtR: They are LEGENDS.

SD: They are HACKS, but they're "your boys" so that's what we get to see week in and week out. You don't need us here for that.

GMtR: I don't appreciate your tone.

DM: And I don't appreciate yours when you're speaking to Samantha. Watch it.

GMtR: Whatever. You're here. Try to be more timely in the future.

DM: Try to go fuck yourself in the future. I'm the World Champ. Without me, there is no show. Without me, you put the show on hold and wait until I get here. THAT is how it goes, and you'd better start respecting it.

*GM the Rick leaves into his office*

SD: Ugh, I can't stand him. How did you work with him for so long?

DM: Eh, it wasn't always like this.

SD: I suppose not. Man, if he knew everything we've been through in the last 24 hours or so; he's lucky we're here at all.

[blink]*DREAM SEQUENCE-ESQUE FLASHBACK*[/blink]

*Foggy fade-out and fade in to what appears to be Davin's kitchen, with the caption "27 Hours Ago"*

DM: Sammy, COME ON!

*Samantha Darling comes into the room finishing drying her hair*

SD: For fuck's sake, Davin; what's your hurry?

DM: If you want to get all this done, we need to leave like 2 hours ago.

SD: Funny. Why are you bothering to vote anyway?

DM: It's my duty as an American.

SD: You sound like such a loser when you say it like that.

*Davin grabs Sam's towel and takes it*

DM: But I'm the champ, baby. Your hair is plenty dry. You can finish up in the car. We've got to go.

*They leave and you see them getting into a traditional limo. Hard cut, fade back in to the Limo pulling up into the fire lane at Mashpee Middle School, where Samantha is helped out by Davin, and they are immediately flooded by electioneers and other voters who were in line. Lots of shrieking and flashes from cellphone cameras going off. They do a quick wave and smile spot before Davin grabs Samantha's hand and makes a BEELINE for the Poll Worker*

DM: Hi.

PW: Hi.

DM: C'mon in guys!

*Suddenly, about 20 people in Dunkin' Donuts uniforms flood the gym with gallons of coffee and pastries; much to the delight of the poll workers*

DM: Ponponnessett Drive? Moreland?

*The poll worker, now estatic she has coffee quickly goes through the voting roll and crosses his name off, handing him a ballot. Davin and Samantha head over to the booth. NinjaCam doesn't follow, but you can hear "I could have sworn you were a Republican" at some point. They're finished now, and Davin drops the ballot into the optical scan machine. Finally, they depart in an exaggerated walk (almost a jog) to the limo*

*Hard Cut, fade back in ant we see the limo pull up to the "Private Jet" hangar at the Barnstable Municipal Airport. Samantha and Davin get out and walk up the stairs into the jet. The caption on the screen says "23 Hours Ago." Ninja-cam gets us aboard the jet, where Davin and Samantha have already broken into the liquor stash.*

DM: Well, we should be in South Carolina in a couple hours. Plenty of time ot get ready for Mayhem.

SD: Um...yeah...about that....

DM: Wait...what?

SD: Well, we're not going to South Carolina...yet...

DM: Oh really? Where the fuck are we going then?

SD: Uh...West Palm?

DM: Ok. I...wait..WHY are we going to Florida?

SD: Duh. I wanna vote too.

DM: *sigh* Ok, fine. At least it's just a short flight to South Carolina from there.

SD: Yeah. Totally. Right to South Carolina from there.

DM: Why do I feel like you're not telling me something?

SD: Hmm. Probably cause I'm not.

DM: You planning on filling me in?

SD: Eventually. Relax. It's a long flight.

DM: You're right. Let's get hammered.

SD: A fine idea. However, I have a better idea.

DM: What's that?

SD: Oh...a little something called the Mile High Club?

DM: Don't we actually have to be off the ground first?

SD: Well, we'll be off the ground at some point.

*Samantha leads Davin to another part of the jet, and we fade. Hard-cut, fade back into another airport. The caption on the screen says "20 hours ago." Davin and Samantha emerge from the jet, clearly a bit intoxicated, and a bit disheveled as well. They are led to a nearby limo, and we fade again. We fade back into Samantha nearly screaming at a cop who is monitoring the line at a Polling Place in West Palm Beach, FL*

SD: What do you MEAN I have to wait?

C: Miss, I can't just let you jump all these people. I mean, they've been waiting six hours to get in here.

SD: Don't you know who the FUCK I am?

C: Of course I do, Miss Darling. I know who Mr. Moreland is as well; unfortunately, there's nothing I can do.

*Samantha is about to explode as her face turns red*

DM: Officer, can you just make sure all these...people...leave us alone?

C: Of course, sir. I'll do my best.

*Fade out and back in, the caption on the screen says "18 Hours Ago." We see Samantha and Davin at a booth, and turning in Samantha's ballot. They do another smile and wave spot as they get outside.*

DM: Enough of this, let's get out of here.

SD: I know. They'll be waiting.

DM: *takes a sip off his drink* WHO will be waiting?

SD: My parents.

DM: *does a full-on spit-take* YOUR WHAT?

SD: My parents. We're joining my parents for dinner.

DM: I REALLY don't think I'm ready or in any position to meet your parents.

SD: Davin, you did the SAME thing to me, when your Mother was in town. It's only fair.

DM: I don't like you very much.

SD: Yes you do.

DM: FINE, but I am really not prepared for this. I mean, my Mom is like a regular person. Your parents are...

SD: Not?

DM: Not.

SD: Just makes it easier that they're not. Trust me, it will be fine.

*The limo pulls into a disgustingly huge estate compound, clearly, it's the Darling Compound. Davin and Sam are helped out of the limo by service staff, and eventually they meet Mr. and Mrs. Darling in one of the drawing rooms. Drinks are served and they pretty much jabber on about nothing for a good hour. Finally, Mr. Darling pulls Davin aside*

Mr. D: Davin, may I speak with you a moment?

DM: Of course, Mr. Darling.

*Sam and Davin exchange a look of dread as Davin leaves with him*

Mr. D: *walking* You are aware that until recently we haven't had much contact with Samantha.

DM: I am.

Mr. D: It seems that her contact with you may have done her some good.

DM: I would like to think so, Mr. Darling.

Mr. D: Let me cut to the chase, as it were, Mr. Moreland. What are your intentions with my daughter? She is my oldest daughter, so clearly I'm very interested in her happiness. Of course, the fact that you were involved with Alexis is troubling to me.

DM: Nothing happened, Mr. Darling.

Mr. D: You continue to say that.

DM: It continues to be true.

Mr. D.: I shall accept that for now. Now if you wouldn't mind answering my previous question?

DM: Of course Mr. Darling, just as soon as the Ninja-Cams leave.

Mr. D: Ninja-cams?

DM: *points* Those.

*Cameras back out of the room into another fade. We fade back into the foyer with the caption "16 Hours Ago". The 3 Darlings and Davin are there, about to head to an awaiting limo.*

Mr. D: Davin, my boy, it was a pleasure to meet you. We'll be seeing each other quite soon I trust?

DM: I imagine that would be unavoidable, Mr. Darling.

*The two laugh. Samantha and Mrs. Darling look confused as fuck. Finally Samantha and Davin get into the limo and leave*

SD: Well, that could have been worse.

DM: Everything cool on your end?

SD: Yeah. I just forgot how much I hate all that formal shit.

DM: Hey, it was fun. I was making it up as I went along.

SD: You did fine, honey. So, what did you and my Dad talk about?

*Just at that second, Davin's Treo by Sprint PCS goes off*

DM: Just a second...hey Sam...how would you like to talk a little detour?

SD: Uh...to where?

DM: Chicago.

SD: Chica...wait a second...

DM: Yeah, exactly. All of that. We're invited.

SD: Well of COURSE we are. Chicago! Let's Go!

*Fade out, fade back into Grant Park in Chicago, which is mobbed with people, obviously. Samantha and Davin are parked in leather recliners just in the wings off-stage. That's right, a better seat than Oprah. The speech goes how it went, and eventually, the Obamas and Bidens are whisked away. David Plough and David Axelrod happen by.*

DA: Hey DAVIN! What's up, man?

DM: Not much, your boy Deval is really having a tough time.

DP: Told you he would.

DA: Shut up.

SD: Hi, I'm Samantha.

DP: Of COURSE you are. Davin, you're a lucky man.

DM: I'm well aware.

DA: So, are you guys coming?

SD: Where?

DP: Duh. The after party?

SD: Party?

DM: *snickers* Hell, if it's a party, she's there.

SD: Jerk. Where is it?

DA: Don't worry about it; just come with us in the limo.

*They all take off. After a fade-in, there's a montage of the Party. hob-nobbing with power brokers, and, of course, lots of drinking. They go really late, and we finally cut to Davin with Samantha in his arms on Lake Shore Drive watching the sunrise.*

DM: Not bad.

SD: Nope.

DM: What time is it?

SD: There's a clock right behind you, Dummy.

DM: Nice. *he looks* 6:30...

SD: Hmm. Earlier than I thought.

DM: 7:30 Eastern.

SD: That would be why.

DM: We should REALLY go to South Carolina now.

SD: Probably.

*fade out, we fade back in to the two of them in Davin's suite in the Run DEA Locker Room and Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels, laying in bed, clearly about to take a nap.*

DM: Quite a day.

SD: It was. We do pretty well together.

DM: We do. Now, I need some beauty sleep for tonight.

SD: You'll still win.

DM: Of course I will. I'm the champ.

SD: Yes *smiling* Yes you are.

*fade for good*

[Jack Quinn]

<we cut to GM the Rick's office just after Rick's confrontation with Davin. Rick closes the door and plops down in his chair, but instead of being pissed, he has a smile across his face. Erlana notices this right away>

E: Why the hell are you smiling?

GMtR: You know, sometimes there is nothing more satisfying as learning something

E: Uh huh. And what did you learn?

GMtR: You know, with all the chaos that the war brought, I damn near lost not only the company but my mind as well

E: Yes, I remember the promo, you rambled

GMtR: That is putting it nicely. I admit, I was rattled.

E: And you're not now?

GMtR: Nope. And I have Davin Moreland to thank for that

E: Uh huh. Care to elaborate?

GMtR: Davin had a point. There were too many factions in the OOWF. There were too many people vying for favoritism, and as Adamle said on Monday, this position corrupts. I was corrupted. I showed favoritism, and it nearly cost me everything.

E: And now?

GMtR: And now, that is over. Everyone, everyone is treated the same. I don't give a shit what you did during the war. If I am not going to punish those who opposed me, I am also not going to reward those who fought alongside me. I will always appreciate it, but I am also not going to be a slave to it.

E: So that means.......

GMtR: That means everyone follows the same rules. Including the world champion. When I said check in is 1:30 on the day of the show, that goes for everyone. If he, or anyone else doesn't like it, too bad. They can take the punishment, or they can walk.

E: Moreland won't like that

GMtR: Ask me if I give a fuck?

<Eric O'Mac pokes his head in the door and shoots Rick a hateful look>

E: So, you are going to suspend the world champion?

GMtR: Today? No. And hopefully never. But if we are going to have rules, they are going to apply to everyone, across the board. Davin was right about one thing, we need a world champion to keep this company going. What he fails to understand, however, is we do not need HIM as world champion to succeed. I am not looking for a war, but if I am going to be in charge, and I am, everyone will follow the rules. No exceptions.

E: Good luck

GMtR: Let's drink to it