[Mr. Dashbee]

[The camera picks back up in the Nerds lockerroom, where GM The Rick is with Nayr, Concrete TG and Bryce Larson.]

BL: What the fuck is this? Huh? He didn't deserve this beating, Rick--

GMTR: The Rick.

BL: What-thefuck-ever. I'm sick and tired of this. I told you a few weeks ago that I wanted Alexander Darling and Firewoman. Firewoman already told me off. Eric wants Darling, and so do I. I don't care how--singles, tag team--I want that match.

GMTR: With Eric? You have your own partners, Bryce. And your own problems. Maybe--

BL: Maybe we should have a GM that can control all the fucking sneak attacks around here. It's so easy to attack someone in that hallway. I know, I've done it twice in the past two weeks myself. Maybe--

GMTR: Maybe you should let me do my fucking job, Bryce! You get no match! You are in the Trios match this week, and you'll be lucky if you even wrestle the following week. Your stable mate got attacked, and all you're worrying about is Bryce Fucking Larson. You're lucky these two even want you to be in the Guild.

N: Guys...guys! I think CTG is going to say something.

CTG: [Still groggy.] Chairs...doors...concrete floor. Citizen Darling has completed an evil plot. Mister Rick The Manager of Generalisms, I believe that one Bryce Larson inadvertinently made a great point. This metropolis does not need more law enforcement. They do not need vigilante justice. The OOWF needs...a hero.

N: But 'Crete, there is too much for one person.

CTG: My little Paladin, you are so wise. This organization needs a hero, a band of heroes. The Heroes Guild.

GMTR: You, Nayr & Bryce? The Heroes Guild?

CTG: Ye--

BL: No! I never said I'd do that. I take care of my own shit, and that starts now.

[Bryce storms out of the lockerroom. His desired destination is given away as he stalks down the hallway repeatedly saying "Darling!"]

GMTR: I don't know what to do with that guy.

CTG: Honorable General Manager, young Bryce, deep down inside, is a hero. Right now, he's just misguided. We shall steer him down the correct path.

GMTR: I hope so.

[GM The Rick leaves as Nayr stays behind with Concrete TG.]

[National Champion Chris Cole]

Ninja Cameramen have snuck up on "The Main Event" Chris Cole. He is obviously not in Springfield, Maryland. In fact he is in South Beach surrounded by Orange & Blue. A few of the Florida Gators coaches and players are also here.

Cole: You guys are focusing on football right? I don't want to see you come out and play like Alabama did.

Percy Harvin: I haven't played ball since November 29th. You know I'm ready to tear it up.

Cole: How is the ankle?

Harvin: 90%. You can bet I'll make some Sooner defender break their ankles though trying to catch me.

Brandon Spikes: What about you Cole? Are you going to take care of YOUR business? Bring home the IC Title.

Cole: You guys watch OOWF?

Spikes: Hell Yea. I download the podcast to my iPhone every Wednesday Night and watch it before practice on Thursday.

Harvin: Practice? You talking about Practice?

Jeffrey Demps: Don't listen to Percy. The Dude's retarded.

Cole: So I have to ask. Who is the fastest guy on the team?

Harvin: Me

Demps: Me

Chris Rainey: You know its me.

Brandon James: Don't forget about me.

Urban Meyer: Don't you have to be in Springfield, Maryland tomorrow?

Cole: I do but my agent was able to secure a flight tonight and then one back here for Thursday so I'll be here for the game.

Tim Tebow: Make sure you come back with that IC Title shot locked up.

Cole: Will do. Now shouldn't you guys be getting off the beach and back to practice?

Tebow: We still have about an hour. That's enough time for me to baptize 6 needy children.

[Concrete TG]

(CTG and Nayr are walking back to Concrete's locker room. Crete is still a little unsteady)

Nayr: you sure you're gonna be ok for the Trios match?

CTG: Worry not for me, Paladin. Worry more for your wayward partner.

Nayr: He doesn't stand a chance alone against Alexander

CTG: yet he seeks to face him alone. I fear for his safety

Nayr: You're not going after him

CTG: I must, but he needs to learn patience in fighting wars.

Nayr: and you're too beat to hell to follow

CTG: Incorrect - this concussion affects my balance and reaction times. the lacerations are minor at best and the blood loss minimal.

Nayr: like I said

CTG: I also need to call a dry cleaner about my bloodsoaked cape.

Nayr: No, let that seep in - you survived the beatdown, right?

CTG: ..... I will consider it. Right now we need to regroup.

Nayr: There's Moutain Dew in the fridge, come on......

[Mr. Dashbee]

[The OOWF camera crew spots Bryce Larson waiting outside of the gym, then pans in to see Alexander Darling finishing up a workout. Darling is headed out of the gym...]

AD: Bryce, what are you doing here.

BL: You attacked Concrete TG, and for no reason?

AD: There's always a reason. I am making a statement.

BL: Really. Well we all have ways of making statements.

AD: Are you making a statement now?

BL: No. When you don't expect it, Concrete's attack will be avenged. Trust me, it will happen. You're safe, for now.

AD: Right. Know that you'll rarely find me alone. You missed your chance.

[Bryce stands, and folds up the chair. Alexander turns around in reaction. He does so just in time to get blasted with it in the head! Bryce then DDTs Darling on the chair.]

BL: Hmm...carpe diem. Thanks for the advice. I'm sure I'll pay for it later. [Bryce looks at the camera.] CTG? You're welcome!

[As Bryce starts to leave, he runs into Eric O'Mac, walking down the hallway, having just witnessed the attack.]

EOM: What happened here?

BL: [Matter-of-factly] Oh, hey. I'm Bryce, nice to meet you. You're welcome as well.

[Eric O'Mac]

*Eric waits for Byrce Larson to walk down the hall. He then turns to Alexander Darling.*

EOM: Huh. I can't attack you. It's a shame someone else hates you too. This situation seems kind of familiar though...

*Eric thinks.*

Eric: Hmm.... guy randomly attacked with me showing up afterwards. Didn't I use to do something here?

*Eric snaps his fingers*

Eric: OF COURSE!

*Eric looks at Darling.*

Eric: HA!

*Eric starts to walk away.*

Eric: Oh, and Alex, if you are at least semi-conscious, pay attention to 15 Minutes of Fame tomorow. It concerns you.

*Eric walks away to his locker room.*

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman is WALKING~! the Hall of Random Encounters, opening doors and listening. She's apparently looking for something... or someONE. She spies Selena Gomez looking out the door of the Poe-Moose-Seamus locker rooms, and ducks behind a corner. Selena looks carefully up and down the hall, and then leaves, quietly shutting the door behind her, clearly sneaking out. Selena walks down the hall, humming a song, and walks past the corridor where Firewoman is hiding. Firewoman waits, and falls in behind her.

FW: Hi Selena!

Selena jumps a mile high.

SG: I...I'm not supposed to talk to you.

FW: What? Why? I've been nothing but nice to you.

SG: Master says–

FW: I helped you with the candy bar machine, and even gave you an extra candy bar. And Hershey bars are my favorites.

SG: Really? Mine too.. I mean....

FW: So where ya headed?

Selena hesitates for a minute, not sure how to respond.

SG: I'm bored. There's nothing to do in there, everyone's getting all serious for their matches.

FW: Yeah, it's a tense time alright.

SG: Master Poe doesn't like me to run around the hallways, but it's so BORING.

FW: Master Poe is right, you know. It's a dangerous place out here. All sorts of sneak attacks going on. It's not safe for you, and you could easily get caught in the crossfire. Look, where are you going and I'll make sure you get there okay.

Selena hesitates again.

SG: Nowhere really. Just walkin'.

FW: Well, okay. I'll walk with you for a little bit, but then we better head back. Master Poe will be very very cross with you.

SG: Yeah...

The two walk side by side in silence together for a bit.

FW: Sooo...how are Master Poe's new partners working out?

SG: Fine. I like uncle Moose. Except he calls me Mouse, and I don't get that.

FW: It's hard to say about him sometimes. What about the others?

SG: Seamus is loud. Tyson is quiet. Tytan is....

FW:.....

SG: Well, he's in a cage thing for some reason.

FW: Really. In your guys' locker rooms? I wouldn't think there was room for that in there.

SG: Oh no, they're somewhere else in the arena.

FW: Huh....Oh, we better turn around here and head back.

SG: Oh... yeah....

They turn around and walk for a bit.

FW: You know I don't believe you right?

SG: What do you mean?

FW: There's nowhere big enough for a cage other than the main part of the arena. I don't think he's in a cage anywhere in here.

SG: No he is. I saw them.

FW: Really? [She raises an eyebrow and smiles playfully, like you would with a younger relative or niece that you're being silly with]. Show me.

SG: Well...I can't remember. These arenas are all twisty and turny.

FW: That's true.

SG: I do remember that there were lots of pipe and stuff, like that were running to different places in the arena.

FW: Huh. That sounds interesting.

SG: Yeah, well, it wasn't. It was boring.

Firewoman laughs.

FW: I suppose to you it would be. Okay, we're here at your door. Get in there and don't leave without Poe or Uncle Moose or someone again, okay?

SG: Okay. [She starts to go in the door, quietly again, and then peeks out.] Thanks, Firewoman. You're not so bad after all.

FW: Aw, thanks, kid.

Selena closes the door, and Firewoman smiles...but it is of course, a different smile now. Firewoman heads towards the room that Selena indicated, but she gets turned around, and finds herself in hall way that ends with a closet.

FW: Well, shit.

She puts her hands on her hips, thinking about where she took the wrong turn, when a shadow falls over her. She turns around slowly, and sees Poe standing there. He has her cornered.

Poe: You and I need to have a little chat.

*fade*

[Ryan]

Jan 6, 2009 13:58:37 GMT -5 Concrete TG said:

Nayr: There's Mountain Dew in the fridge, come on......

OOC- Ha, you guys are writing Nayr in promos better than I ever could.

Also it's nice to see Alex on the receving end of the chair assisted beatdowns for once.

[Tommy]

*Bryce Larson - King of the Indies is WALKING down the Hall of Really Not Very Random At All Are They? Encounters, whistling a little tune, apparently satisfied by his message-sending abilities. He rounds the corner toward the parking lot and...*

WHACK~!

*Bryce ran into something...LARGE. He slowly looks up. When he recognizes what he hit, he sighs*

DM: Bryce Larson, King of the Indies; Davin Moreland saw what you did to Onslaught Champion Alexander Darling. Davin Moreland respects the fact that Bryce Larson, King of the Indies wants to send a message. Davin Moreland thinks that's admirable. Davin Moreland used to do the same thing when Davin Moreland first got here. However, Bryce Larson, King of the Indies, Davin Moreland feels it necessary to mention that Bryce Larson, King of the Indies should be very careful who Bryce Larson, King of the Indies associates with; and also who Bryce Larson, King of the Indies, sends messages to. Doesn't Bryce Larson, King of the Indies agree?

BL,KotI: I agree.

DM: Good. Davin Moreland is glad we had this little talk, Bryce Larson, King of the Indies. Davin Moreland watches the Indies. Davin Moreland knows who Bryce Larson is. Davin Moreland is impressed with Bryce Larson's skills. Bryce Larson is like an artist inside a ring. Bryce Larson has toiled in Bingo Halls for far too long. Davin Moreland thinks Bryce Larson, King of the Indies has a bright future here in the OOWF.

*Bryce Larson takes a deep breath*

BL,KotI: Thank you, Champ.

DM: *points to his belts* Yeah. That's right. This belt here? This is what this whole thing is about. Davin Moreland means, Davin Moreland sees Bryce Larson, King of the Indies drag Bryce Larson's belts from all these feds that no one has ever heard of around with Bryce Larson. Davin Moreland thinks that makes Bryce Larson look cheap. No one cares what Bryce Larson won before, and those belts might as well be wrapped in tinfoil. Look at Poe. Poe the Pedofile is supposedly some big deal back in Japan, with belt after belt to Poe the Pedofile's credit; but what has Poe won in the OOWF? That's right, nothing. Not a damned thing. It's hard for Poe the Pedofile. Poe the Pedofile is used to being a big deal, not a JAG needing a push. Is Bryce Larson following what Davin Moreland is saying here?

BL,KotI: I think so, Champ.

DM: Anyway, Davin Moreland has to go. Davin Moreland is in high demand. Davin Moreland is important. Davin Moreland has endless demands on Davin Moreland's time. *batistalaughs* Davin Moreland will probably never get used to it. So, Bryce Larson, King of the Indies, Davin Moreland hopes Bryce Larson, King of the Indies will think very hard about what Davin Moreland had to say.

BL, KotI: I will.

DM: Good. *starts to walk away* Oh, one more thing Bryce Larson, King of the Indies?

BL,KotI: *quickly turns around* Yeah?

*Davin unleashes a WICKED REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER ON THE CEMENT FLOOR. Bryce Larson is OUT*

DM: Another few words of advice. 1) Do not consort with traitors like Concrete Takaken Gryfon. 2) Do not fuck with Davin Moreland's Brothers; the Greatest Tag Team in the History of Recorded Time, Phantos and Lucios. 3) Do not attack a Darling without permission. 4) Do. Not. Fuck. With. Run DEA. Ya Heard?

*Davin walks back down the hallway and crosses paths with Eric O'Mac. Apparently, he figures the cameras are off now*

DM: ERIC!

EOM: TOMMY!

DM: Good to see you man, welcome back.

EOM: Well, ya know, needed a little vacation. You know.

DM: Yeah. Good. Great return man, that 15 Minutes segment is killer. You were born to do that shit.

EOM: Cool, glad you like it. Hey, do you know if I'm gonna get that rematch?

DM: Hell if I know. Booker has been all over the place with me of late

EOM: At least you finally got a clean win at the PPV.

DM: No kidding. And now you have "World Champ" to your credit too.

EOM: Been quite the return.

DM: Hey, E. I gotta run, but uh...there's a little present around the corner you might enjoy.

EOM: Yeah? Cool. See ya later, Tommy.

DM: You too, Eric.

*Eric O'Mac rounds the corner and spots Bryce Larson in a heap on the floor*

EOM: *points* HA!

*fade*

[Mr. Dashbee]

[Bryce Larson is recovering in the Nerds/Guild lockerroom, with Nayr.]

Nayr: Great Odin's raven, what happened to you.

Bryce Larson: Davin Moreland fucked Bryce Larson up with a sweet diamond cutter on the floor. Bryce Larson had that shit coming to Bryce Larson. Bryce Larson will be sore in the morning.

N: Why are you talking about yourself in the third person.

BL: Bryce Larson does not know why Nayr the Halfling Paladin Luchador.

N: Stop that!

BL: Bryce Larson will stop that.

N: Hey fuckface!

BL: [Grabing his neck.] Okay, okay, geez.

N: I knew you were going to get yourself into trouble. That's no way for a hero to act.

BL: I'm not a goddamned hero, Nayr.

N: You know, if we win the titles this week, you pretty much have to join the Guild.

BL: Are you trying to make me throw the match?

N: Shut up! I know how much you love titles.

BL: Yeah, well after tonight I might stop carting these around. [Motions to his 9 replica championships.]

N: Now you're going to take advice from Run DEA?

BL: Well, I'm 1 for 2 so far. [Smiles.]

N: I know Concrete appreciated you avenging his attack.

BL: See, I'm more of a vigilante hero, like The Punisher or V.

N: I guess so.

BL: Speaking of Gryfon, where is he?

N: He went on a Mountain Dew run. He might--

BL: Oh, good. I'm thirsty.

N: Yeah, we'll restock. And he mentioned taking the cape to the cleaners, but I hope he doesn't. A blood stained cape would be Bad Ass.

BL: You're spending too much time with me.

N: Maybe. You need to rest, we have a big match tomorrow.

BL: Don't you think I know that?

N: You didn't know enough to not attack a member of Run DEA...

BL: ...

N: Exactly. Now--

BL: You know what? I think I've had enough of this conversation, I need some rest.

N: What? I just said that, and you...

BL: Yeah, I need some rest. I'll see you--

N: Wait. Have you thought about The Heroes Guild?

BL: Yeah, I thought about it.

N: And...

BL: I thought about it. That's it. I thought about it enough to avenge Concrete's attack, didn't I?

N: Yeah, so you're in?

BL: Um, let's call it still under advisement, okay?

N: Fine, whatever.

BL: I'm off to the hotel. You know, we have a big match tomorrow. I need to get some rest.

N: Didn't I tell you that earlier?

BL: [Ignoring Nayr's last comment.] Hey, watch your back.

N: Right, I will.

[As Bryce is leaving, GM The Rick enters, looking for Nayr.]

GMTR: Bryce.

BL: Rick.

GMTR: Will you ever learn?

BL: Will you ever get it?

[Bryce doesn't stop, and makes his way out. He comes to the Hallway of Random Encounters, but decides it's best to go the back way out.]

N: Mr. The Rick?

GMTR: Just call me Rick, Nayr.

N: Okay, Rick...I wasn't expecting a visit.

BL: You know, that partner of yours loves to put himself in bad situations.

N: Yeah, I know. But I know his heart's in the right place.

GMTR: I'm not sold. Have you decided anything about tomorrow?

N: Yeah, I have.

GMTR: As long as you're sure, I'll make it happen.

N: I'm sure. 100%.

GMTR: Alright then. If you guys win, it might not even come to that.

N: Yeah, but it just might need to, regardless.

GMTR: Yeah, you could be right. Good luck in your match.

N: Thanks, Mr. The...I mean, Rick.

[GM The Rick leaves the room. Nayr is left sitting on the chair, looking down at the envelope Rick gave him a few nights prior.]

N: It's what's right Bryce, it's what's right.

[Riot Act]

We fade into the parking lot of the unnamed arena in Springfield, Maryland (although we do not know which one as there are three Springfield’s in this state).

A black Aston Martin DB9 pulls into the lot and parks.



Tyson Kincaid steps out of the car wearing a black down-filled jacket and black denim jeans. He walks around to the rear of the car, opens the boot and removes his suitcase. As he shuts the boot, we hear a voice call out.

Voice: Hey! Kincaid!

Slightly startled, Kincaid lays his suitcase on the ground and turns to face the voice. Moosehead Jack approaches from the distance.

MHJ: I was starting to think you weren’t coming.

TK: You know me, Moose. Fashionably late.

MHJ: Some people are starting to think you aren’t committing the proper amount of time to this company.

TK: Some people should mind their own goddamn business - especially if that person has red hair and a C-cup.

MHJ: Easy, now. You have to win tonight before you can get a shot at her.

TK: You’ll forgive me if my patience is wearing thin.

MHJ: Well, I hate to break it to you, but it might not even be Firewoman you face next week. Tytan could win the title tonight.

TK: Listen, Moose, no offense to Tytan, he’s got a bright future. And let’s not forget that he’s on my side at that moment. But I don’t think he has what it takes – or at least I hope he doesn’t. I want her all to myself and if the Intercontinental Title is on the line when I cripple her, then that will simply make my vengeance all the more potent.

MHJ: You’re not fucking around tonight, are you?

TK: Not in the least, which is why I have a favor to ask.

MHJ: What?

TK: I know you’ve had more than a passing interest in my career lately, but I don’t want you to have anything to do with my match tonight. I have something to prove to the fans, the locker room and most importantly, to myself. As cliché as it all sounds, I need to do this alone.

MHJ: Fine. But I need to see you with your hand raised.

TK: Don’t worry, Moose. You will.

Kincaid turns away from Moose, picks up his suitcase and walks into the building. The camera zooms in to show Moose nodding his head and grinning ever-so-slightly as the scene fades to black.

[Spinch]

(Spin Hansen is in the boiler room, zoned out and painting his face. He is, as he has been doing so often, chanting.)

I will spill your blood, all across the ground
I will break your limbs, smash your bodies up
Tear your face to shreds, pummel you to pulp
Rip you up like rags, trample in the mess.

Kill kill, kill them all, kill kill kill
Kill kill, kill them all, kill kill kill

I will watch you die, I will hack you up
Watch your blood flow out all across the ground
Kick your brains to pulp, mangle up your limbs
Till you're just a mess, only blood and mud.

Kil--

(An SFJ interrupts. )

SFJ: Mr. Hansen, what are your thoughts on your match with Moosehead Jack?

SH (shaking his head): Why did you interrupt me?

SFJ: It's my job. Besides, wasn't that from the old animated Lord of the Rings?

SH: Uh... what?

SFJ: The Lord of the Rings animated movie from the 70s.

SH: I just say what comes to mind. It helps me focus.

SFJ: Speaking of which, you seem to have been losing it lately. Now back to the main question... your match with Moosehead Jack.

SH: Losing focus? Me? I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE FOCUSED IN MY LIFE. If Moosehead Jack wins, so be it. If I win, so be it. All I know is that I will focus my rage into a razor-keen blade with which I can slash his throat!

SFJ: Have you been drinking?

SH: Heavily. It will focus my rage.

SFJ: I don't know why I'm always forced to interview you. You're a moron.

SH: Say that again.

SFJ: YOU ARE A MORON. I hope that Jack breaks your neck. I quit.

(She drops the microphone and storms out, as Spin ignores her and starts chanting again.)

*** MEANWHILE... ***

(A camera focuses on GMTheRick's door. A large, angry man runs onto the screen and kicks the door down.)

GMtR: What the hell do you want, and WHY THE HELL DID YOU KICK MY DOOR DOWN?

Angry Man: I WANT ANOTHER SHOT!

[Road Warrior Shark]

One of the SFJ's is standing around in a hallway, when Phantos approaches her.

Phantos: pssst.. hey toots, can you help me out?

SFJ: I dont know.. We're not supposed to give you or your partner any interview time. Rick's orders.

Phantos: I don't want an interview. I just want to SAY THAT THIS IS A JOKE! WE ARE THE MEASURING...
(cut to black)

[Attitude Adjuster]

OOWF clicks on, and we see a wobbling shot of the back arena of this week’s Midweek Mayhem. It looks like a Ninja Cameraman is trying to get to secret footage of two yet unknown wrestlers having a conversation. Wait, wait, I think it’s Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster. Yes, yes it is! The two-time former OOWF tag team champions, who have a title match tonight against Fear Us, seem to be in deep discussions.

AA: I got Robert Gibson right here, Johnny! What do you think of that?

JA: Robert Gibson?!? Robert Gibson?!? Tell me you didn’t just say that! I got your Robert Gibson and raise you a Marty Jannetty AND a Tito Santana!

AA: Santana! Santana! You have to be kidding me!

JA: Yeah, that’s right. Santana!

JA walks away, but the Ninja Cameraman and SFJ #27 (who’s obviously a runner—look at those legs!) catch up to AA.

SFJ#27: Can you tell me what that conversation was about? You two looked like you were rather heated.

AA: None of your business. You’ll see tonight at Midweek Mayhem. I guarantee you’ll see something you’ve never seen before.

[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Maryland

“LIONHEART” CHRIS EVANS vs. RESSUED SAMOHT

Already in the ring is Ressued Samoht…and he has a mic? The fuck?

RS: Please for being the welcome show am. Ressued Samoht here for to is one in having super-best ever. Recognize all to see forever super-best and Ressued Samoht. Begin night of this era shiny and extra good. Ressued Samoht four of Norsemen forever to take OOWF in all the times. Evans heart of lion, out here please for to come eat will you the whooping of the ass! WHOOOOOOOOO~!

The crowd is pretty much, well, confused by that. “The Trooper” by Iron Maiden fires up, and the crowd stands up and gives some polite applause to OOWF Newcomer “Lionheart” Chris Evans. He acknowledges the crowd, but doesn’t make a big deal about it and climbs into the ring. Junior Hale checks on both participants and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Both men close in on each other and look for the lockup, but at the last second Ressued hits a KNIFE-EDGE CHOP! He screams “WHOOO~!” They crowd half-heartedly joins in, but Evans just kind of looks at Samoht. Ressued unleashes another CHOP~! But apparently it’s not having much effect. In fact, it looks like he’s barely making contact. He lets one more chop go and screams “WHOOO~!” right in Evans’ face. This goes over about as well as you’d expect; and Evans LEVELS him with a right hand. Ressued falls down like he’s been shot. Evans scoops up Samoht and hits a LETHAL VORTEX! He allows Ressued to pull himself up a little bit, and then hits an OLYMPIC STRIKE! Samoht is not in this stream of consciousness anymore. Evans works a headlock on Samoht, and pulls him up while running to the ropes…ICARUS STRIKE! Ressued is now bleeding. Evans pulls Samoht up again…and HITS THE ICARUS WINGS! This one is OVER! But not yet. Evans gets a smirk on his face and moves toward Ressued’s lifeless legs. He locks on the ODE TO CANADA! Hale doesn’t even wait for a response before calling for the bell.
WINNER in 3:57 by SUBMISSION…”LIONHEART” CHRIS EVANS!

<GM The Rick makes his way out to the top of the ramp>

Last week, Phantos & Lucios attempted to blackmail their way out of a tag team title match. Then Live on pay per View, they LOST those belts to Fear Us. Phantos, Lucios, you two did nothing the past few weeks but cause me headache. So I have made an executive decision. There will be NO rematch! In fact, If you two ever want another shot at those belts, you are going to have to EARN them. You will start back at the bottom of the pile. The VERY bottom. Beginning tonight. Our first match; Phantos & Lucios vs. The Maryland Mauler & “Blair Witch” Ember Blackpool

PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. THE MARYLAND MAULER & “BLAIR WITCH” EMBER BLACKPOOL

Phantos & Lucios head to ringside visibly upset. Mauler and Blackpool are already in the ring. Phantos & Lucios hit the ring with a vengeance. Lucios grabs Blackpool and throws him into a corner. Stinger Splash. Hard whip across the ring, and Blackpool collapses to the mat. Fall away Slam. Jackhammer. Lucios covers, gets a 2 count and pulls Blackpool up before the 3. He hooks him in a suplex set, and sends Blackpool to Suplex School! High Delay Vertical, Slingshot & then a Gordbuster leave Blackpool out on the mat. Tag to Phantos. Phantos pulls him to his feet, Irish whip, and a flying lariat sends Blackpool crashing to the mat. Phantos rolls Ember into his own corner and motions for The Maryland Mauler to come & get some. TMM obliges, and Phantos backdrops him, then a couple of deep arm drags toss TMM around like a ragdoll. Phantos hits a textbook dropkick. He hits another one as TMM gets to his feet. Phantos bounces off the ropes and delivers a baseball slide dropkick that sends TMM crashing to the outside. Phantos tags in Lucios and hits the top rope. Corkscrew plancha onto TMM on the arena floor. Phantos gets up and tosses TMM back in the ring. Lucios swoops in, Electric Chair. Phantos climbs the turnbuckles again. DROPKICK DEVICE! That’s it. Lucios covers and gets the 1…2…3.
WINNERS in 3:42, Phantos & Lucios.

<After the match, Rick appears on the ramp again>

Nice match gentlemen. I’m sending you home for the night. Tune into OOWF –TV to watch The Chickenshit Heels take on World Tag Team Champions Fear Us later on. And get to the arena a little early next week. You’ll be opening up next week’s show as well!

Rick smiles & laughs to himself (not a basistalaugh though,) and heads back behind the curtain.

DAMON WRATH vs. MATTE

Matte’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring and waits in the corner, looking completely disinterested in everything around him. Damon Wrath is announced and he makes his way to the ring and steps between the ropes and eyes his opponent warily. The referee calls for the bell and the two men meet in the center of the ring, slowly circle and lock up. Wrath grabs an arm wringer and takes Matte to the mat by tripping him, then falls on him and traps the arm. Matte hooks Wrath’s head and locks him into a head scissors, but Wrath works his way free of that and gets to his feet. He tries to pounce on Matte, but Matte rolls out of the way and gets to his feet, as Wrath gets back to his feet, Matte hits him with a drop kick to the chest that sends Wrath to the ropes, then catches him on the rebound with a side Russian leg sweep, floats over and gets a one count. Matte pulls Wrath to his feet and hooks him for a suplex, but Wrath blocks it, then reverses it, but drops Matte stomach first on the top rope. Wrath gets a running start, bounds off the ropes and catches Matte on the temple with a running knee. Matte falls off the ropes, bounces off the apron, then hits the floor. Wrath slowly steps out of the ring and pulls Matte to his feet and rocks him with European uppercuts. Wrath tries to whip Matte to the guard rail, but Matte reverses it and when Wrath comes back he takes Wrath to the floor with a drop toe hold. Matte climbs to the apron and gets a running start and tries an elbow drop, but Wrath moves out of the way and Matte hits the ground with a sickening thud. Wrath pulls Matte up and rolls him into the ring, then follows him and covers, but Matte is out at two. Wrath pulls Matte to his feet and grabs a hammerlock, and shoves him into the corner. Matte falls to his knees and grabs his shoulder in pain, Wrath charges in and lands several stiff kicks to Matte’s shoulder and elbow. Wrath pulls Matt to his feet, but Matte catches him with a knee to the mid section. Matte grabs a side head lock and Wrath tries to shove him off, but Matte holds on. Wrath lifts Matte and heads to the ropes, as he drops Matte over the top rope, Matte holds on and guillotines Matte on the top rope, snapping his head back and sending him into the middle of the ring. Matte climbs to the top rope and waits for Wrath to get to his feet, when he does, Matte leaps and catches Wrath with an elbow to the top of the head that drops Wrath to his knees. Matte makes the motion and pulls him up for the Nevermind DDT! But in one fluid motion, Wrath stands up, and reverses the DDT into an F5! Matte hits the mat hard, and Wrath pounces on him and locks him in the WrathXface! Matte struggles for a moment, but in the end, he is forced to tap.
WINNER in 7:29 – Damon Wrath

SPIN HANSEN vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK

Moosehead Jack enters the arena first, ignoring the jeers of the crowd. He climbs into the ring and slouches in the corner, awaiting his opponent. Spin Hansen, or more accurately Voldsohmet, judging by the facepaint and vacant stare, enters to a considerably more positive reaction. Spin ignores the cheering fans and keeps his eyes locked on Jack as he storms down the aisle. Spin slides into the ring and the two men stand nose-to-nose, neither saying a word. After a few moments, Jack smirks, and Spin returns the gesture. They step back and circle, and referee Junior Hale calls for the bell.

They lock up and Spin grabs a headlock. Jack tries to shoot him off, but Spin hangs on and takes him down to the mat. Jack breaks free and rolls to his feet, but gets leveled by a clothesline. He gets to his feet and ducks a second clothesline, taking Spin down with a drop toehold and driving an elbow into the back of his neck. Jack tries for the Jiendo, but Spin rolls free.

They lock up again and Jack buries a knee in Spin’s midsection, following up with a DDT. Jack rolls Spin over and stomps away, then pulls him up and slings him into the corner. After a series of punches and chops, he attempts an Irish whip but Spin reverses, slamming him into the opposite corner and steamrolling him with an avalanche. Jack stumbles out of the corner and Spin hoists him onto his shoulders and hits a Samoan drop. Spin pulls Jack to his feet and levels him with a head butt, then drags him up and slings him to the ropes, planting him with a power slam. He hooks the leg, but Jack kicks out at two.

Spin gets to his feet and waits for Jack to get up, then drives him to the mat with a spear and starts punching away. Jack manages to get his arms up to block some shots and throws Spin off. Both men roll to their feet and continue exchanging blows. Spin gains the advantage and backs Jack toward the ropes. He starts an Irish whip, then pulls Jack back and doubles him over with a knee. Spin tries to setup the Jaegerbomb, but Jack drops to one knee to block, and delivers a low blow out of Junior’s sight. Spin stumbles back and Jack pulls the big man onto his shoulders and plants him with a DVD. He drives an elbow into Spin’s throat and hooks the leg, but Spin kicks out at two.

Jack presses his advantage, mounting Spin and throwing punches until he draws blood. Jack pulls Spin to his feet and sets up the Heart Punch but Spin overpowers him, hooking his leg behind Jack’s and driving him backwards to the mat. Spin drags Jack to his feet and slings him to the corner. Spin follows him in and Jack moves out of the way, but Spin puts on the brakes before he hits the turnbuckles and drives an elbow into Jack’s face as he moves in to attack. Spin grabs Jack and this time he hits the Jaegerbomb, but is too close to the ropes to make a cover. He lifts Jack up – Hair of the Dog! Jack may be dead, but Spin apparently wants to be sure. With an evil smirk he goes to the corner and hops onto the second rope. He leaps off for a leg drop, but Jack rolls out of the way. As Spin writhes on the mat, Jack pounces, hooking both legs and rolling him up for the three count.
WINNER, in 13:72, Moosehead Jack.

15 Minutes of Fame with Eric O’Mac

*The ring is set up with the 15 Minutes of Fame set as the lights go out. The fans cheer loudly, as "C'MON MAN!" is heard of the announce system. When "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK!" plays, the lights come on accompanied by pyro, and lots of it. Eric O'Mac comes out to the rest of L.L. Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out." He walks down the ring, slaps a fans hand or two on the way down.*

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the host of 15 Minutes of Fame.....former World Heavyweight Champion....ERIC O'MAAAAAAAC!

*Eric jumps in the ring and is handed the microphone by the ring announcer. Eric takes a seat in his designated chair and the fans quiet down.*

Eric: Fans of the OOWF, this isn't just any version of 15 Minutes of Fame. As you can tell from the set, with only one chair, the chair that I'm sitting in, that there will be no special guest tonight. No, instead, you get me for 15 Minutes which allows this version - no guarantees - that this version of 15 Minutes of Fame will be 100% suck free!

*The fans cheer.*

Eric: You see, I was gone for about two months with a pretty significant injury, an injury caused by Davin Moreland and whatshisname....anyways, it's not important who is was at the moment. But I was gone for a long time, and that's because of two people. First off, let's start with our NEW Heavyweight Champion, Davin Moreland.

*The fans boo.*

Eric: No, no, Davin Moreland fought a good, clean match. Davin Moreland did nothing wrong. Davin Moreland is taking a vacation because Davin Moreland is overworked.

Personally, Eric O'Mac thinks Davin Moreland needs to shut the hell up!

But good ol' Davin Moreland has other things on his plate, and that is the winner of Stank-Poe match that is later tonight. On the one hand, we have a fat, black, tough as nails son of a bitch and on the other hand, we have a fat, God knows what, barbaric son of a bitch! Both have history with Davin Moreland. Both want to kill Davin Moreland. Both want to take away Davin Moreland's World Heavyweight Championship.

Ladies, gentlemen, getcha popcorn ready! Ought to be hell of a match tonight, and anytime Davin Moreland gets his ass kicked, that's alright with me too. Stank, Poe, whoever it may be, just promise me that you'll save just a little bit of his corpse so I can beat on him, just a little bit THANKYOU!

Which leaves brother Alexander Darling.

*The fans boo.*

Eric: You are tired of being ignored. You are tired of being overlooked. Tired of being passed by.

I'm tired of listening to your incessant whining! You want some cheese to go with it, Alex Cassell?

Let's look at everything around you, Alex. You are the son of a billionaire mogul who provided you and your family with every advantage in life. Hell, after your 50th nasal surgery, I'm surprised you and your family aren't bankrupt. But anyone, you have fortune. You are well known around many of Hollywood's youngest - legal and illegal - female stars, as well as Olympic gymnasts. Let's just assume you have access to a hot piece of ass every now and then - and that's without me even wanting to think about your sister. So check that off the list. You wrestle in the OOWF and you are a former 3 time Intercontinental Champion and the current Onslaught Champion. So you are good and successful at your job.

So, with all of that in mind, Alex, you and Davin decided to take me out, decided to injure me, decided to put my career in jeopardy. Yet, you were pissed because no one was shaking your hand over it? You were pissed that I didn't call, telling you "Hey, congrats former BFF, you kicked my ass!" You were pissed that the fans didn't give you any recognition? You were pissed that, on the night I decided to return, I ignored your request to meet you in the ring?

Let's see, Alex. Give attention to someone you consider worthless. Waste your time and exert energy shutting the guy up. OR...ignore the dipshit, and go win your first World Heavyweight Championship.

Hmm. That is a hard choice Alex....WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO?

You see, Alex, you have been dead to me. Ever since that moment you handcuffed me to the ring ropes, ever since you humiliated me, I haven't wanted to see your face. I haven't wanted anything to do with you. It's not a matter of being scared, it's not a matter of not wanting to see who the better man is, but you pissed me off so badly, you may not have survived if we ever hooked up in the ring. So, I blocked you out. And for a few months, it worked. I had no problem with you. None at all. So when we met up at the Imperial Onslaught match as the final two participants, we were able to have a kick ass match, I was able to beat you, and that was it. End of story. Any issue I had ever had with you was over. You were forgiven.

So, when you and Davin decided to attack me and injure me, I set my sights higher. Davin was the World Heavyweight Champion. So, I decided to take my revenge on him first and the best way to do that was to take his World Heavyweight Championship and after I took care of him, you were next.

But, being the egomaniac that you are, you made the dumbest move that you could make and that's cost me the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. You see, you could have been feuding with the World Heavyweight Champion, Alex. This little spat between us could have been over a World title. You think you hurt me by costing me the World Heavyweight Championship? If anything, you not only signed your own death certificate, you lost the chance to feud with the World Heavyweight Champion.

Now, for some reason, Rick Scaia has deemed it a suspendable offense if I attack you backstage. Now, see, I don't know if you asked for an order of protection, or if Rick just doesn't want to lose a for sure ratings and buy rate classic hit when we do tangle together, but despite that, you should still watch out.

You see, I'm listening. You wanted attention? You now have my full, undivided attention. And everytime you refer to me as a chump, I'm listening. Every time you refer to me as a fluke, I'm listening. And because I'm listening, it hurts you. Because I'm taking notes. And for everything you've ever done to affect my career, you will pay.

So, while you are focusing on your Onslaught Title defense, know a few of things. 1) Payback is a bitch. 2) Those that who don't know history are failed to repeat it. And 3) I mentioned earlier that you have the fortune and the success that most people envy. Well, when I finally get my hands on you, add something else to that list.

I'm gonna make you famous. And then your 15 minutes will be over.

*"Mama Said Knock You Out" comes on the PA and Eric stands up to leave, ending the segment.*

FF CAPSLOCK vs. TYSON KINCAID vs. CHRIS COLE – Winner Gets an Intercontinental Title Shot

We return with LIVE OOWF Action in this three way match for the number one contendership to the Intercontinental Championship. The first person to enter the ring is former OOWF Onslaught Champion "The Main Event" Chris Cole, and he does so to the thrash metal stylings of Metallica's "Master of Puppets". "The Riot Act" Tyson Kincaid is the next to enter the ring to "Idle Hands" by the Gutter Twins. Finally, F.F. Capslock enters to "For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)" by AC/DC, his solo theme. Referee Mel Creech signals for the bell, and this match is on as Chris and Tyson look at each other and decide to double team the bigger Capslock. They rock him with punches, then somehow telepathically figure out to kick Capslock's gut at the same time to look for a double vertical suplex. Capslock won't go, and takes the opportunity to DDT the shit out of them. His huge frame covers Cole for an attempt at a quick pinfall, but Cole kicks out at two. He tries the same on Kincaid, but Kincaid also kicks out at two. Capslock poses for the crowd, then tries a huge double elbow drop which whiffs completely. Kincaid gets an assisted moonsault from Cole, but Cole stomps him when he stays for the pin attempt. Irish whip, Kincaid ducks the clothesline attempt but gets met with a kick to the gut on the rebound. Clubbing blows bring down Kincaid, and Cole locks on the Raised Texas Cloverleaf. Capslock is up by now and ambles over and kicks Cole in the face. Cole rolls away as Capslock goes to work on Kincaid.

Capslock stomps away, then hauls Kincaid up and hurls him into the corner. Running big man splash is dodged, as Kincaid comes back with a running spinning wheel kick to Capslock's back. Capslock stumbles and collapses face and chest first into the ring post. As he lies there with his head propped up by the second turnbuckle, Chris Cole, waiting on the outside, takes the opportunity to get some free shots in. Cole rolls in but Kincaid sees him coming and dropkicks him as he gets to his feet. Cole hauled up for a huge Northern Lights Suplex. Kincaid wants a Boston Crab, but Cole manages to get to the ropes before it's fully locked in. Kincaid releases the hold just in time to get brought down by a HUGE running back elbow from the recovered Capslock. Capslock admires his handiwork, then hauls up Kincaid. Kincaid is whipped to the ropes, and Capslock connects with a, uh, back elbow. Kincaid brought up again, whipped to the ropes, and here's a bionic elbow from Capslock. Capslock, confused as to why he didn't get a pop for that complex series of moves, nonetheless decides it's time for the "Figure Foreskin"! He cinches it in, but Kincaid knows what's on the line and doesn't tap for a good three minutes, at which time Cole is finally up to nail Capslock with a huge running clothesline. Capslock sells the hell out of that and bails to the outside.

Cole works over Kincaid with some stomps, furiously clubbing at him as Kincaid rises. European uppercut stuns Kincaid, and Cole kicks at him to get him down for a Gutwrench Suplex. Cole glances at Capslock, who's gotten to his feet on the outside, and decides not to repeat an earlier spot. Instead, he drags up Kincaid and whips him to the ropes. Kincaid slides under him, however and locks on a Dragon Sleeper out of nowhere. He notices Capslock start to get in the ring and placates him by turning it into a Dragon Suplex. Satisfied, Capslock rolls back out. As soon as he gets to his feet on the outside, he turns around and is Pearl Harboured with a huge suicide dive. All three men are down, and they stay that way for about six seconds, at which point they all start to get up. Capslock and Kincaid brawl for a bit on the outside, but when they realize they're in danger of getting counted out they both slide inside. Three way staredown, and Cole wants another double team I guess, but doesn't get what he expected as Tyson hoists him up into a Fireman's Carry when he moves towards Capslock. "OCD-DT"! Cole stays down! But Capslock, with catlike reflexes, grabs Tyson the moment he gets up and hoists him over his shoulder for the “Greetings from Fresno!”. Capslock takes a quick moment to calculate which of the two fallen wrestlers has taken the most damage, and decides to pin Cole. One, two... three.
WINNER in 15:54 – FF Capslock

STANK vs. POE – Winner Gets a World Title Shot

“Skin” starts to blast over the PA, and the Springfield crowd gets to their feet. Stank’s Jumbotron starts flashing, and then it’s Stank himself; appearing at the top of the ramp; which spurs a bigger reaction from the crowd. The normally happy Stank looks pretty surly today. He does slap hands with the fans, but doesn’t stop to chat. He climbs into the ring and glares at Referee Angelo Barros, who doesn’t seem to care much. The music stops while Stank is in mid-pose, and “For Whom the Bell Tolls” starts up. The crowd again gives their full-throated approval from the home crowd of Poe, who appears at the top of the ramp with Selena attached to his hip. They both make their way down the ramp, and Selena signs some autographs for some 10-year-old girls who are apparently “Wizards of Waverly Place” fans. They finally meet up outside the ring, and Poe pats Selena on the head before climbing inside. He does a bit of menacing-type posing, before turning back to the action. The music stops, and it appears we’re ready for action. Poe and Stank near each other in the ring, and the two big men square off, and kind of do a “mutual respect nod” thing. Angelo Barros is just about to call for the bell; but before he does…

“Lux Aeterna” fires up over the PA, and as soon as Davin Moreland’s mug appears on the Jumbotron, the crowd appears a little upset. Trash rains down on the ramp, and the boos are deafening. The Champ has the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship around his waist…and he’s HOLDING A MIC *sigh*. No crutch, but Davin is limping a bit as he makes his way down toward the ring. He’s gonna talk. Let us all rejoice at this development, except for not.

DM: Good evening Stank. Good evening Poe. Good evening Jailbait. Good evening Angelo. How is Angelo’s family, well Davin Moreland trusts?

Barros grins and nods emphatically.

DM: That is fine. Very fine. Gentlemen, Davin Moreland wishes both of you the very best of luck this evening. Davin Moreland is a good sportsman. Davin Moreland is Sport Billy. Davin Moreland, of course, has an interest in who wins this match. So, Davin Moreland decided that Davin Moreland should have a front-row seat. Since Davin Moreland is the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Davin Moreland is afforded such perks. Davin Moreland is an important man. Davin Moreland is your meal ticket. Davin Moreland puts all the Unwashed Masses in the seats each week.

The boos are totally deafening. I think the arena is rocking because they’re so loud. A “Please Shut Up” chant has started in one part of the arena.

DM: So, Davin Moreland will sit next to the announce. Actually, next to Nash, because Russ is a loser. Russ is a lunatic. Russ is a yokel from Oklahoma. Russ should do Davin Moreland a favor and have another seizure.

Russ starts to stand up, but Razz helps him back down, and Russ just sits there and fumes.
Since Stank and Poe will be competing for the right to wrestle The Greatest 2-Time OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Davin Moreland…and the Gnarliest Double-Champ Ever for Davin Moreland’s OOWF World Heavyweight Championship; Davin Moreland feels it’s only right that Davin Moreland is here. Davin Moreland will make sure nothing untoward happens. Davin Moreland is a mediator. Davin Moreland is all about fairness. So, Davin Moreland will go sit now next to Nash; Angelo Barros may start this match whenever Angelo Barros wishes.

Davin drops the mic where he stands, and hobbles over near the announce. Selena happens to be standing there, and hisses (yes hisses) at him on the way by. Davin, at first ignores it, but then stops, turns around, and busts out a couple of CROTCH CHOPS. That’s very inappropriate. She’s only 16. Davin *batistalaughs* to himself as he continues on, and Selena looks confused, a little scared, and quickly goes to the opposite side of the ring. Angelo Barros seems to be enjoying the festivities a little too much, and has to snap himself back into reality with both Poe and Stank just staring at him. He calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Stank and Poe slowly circle each other for a few seconds before locking up. It’s a total stalemate, but eventually Poe, who is nearly half-a-foot taller, manages to get some leverage and work a headlock. He got it cinched in, but Stank shoves him off eventually, and works a hammerlock before he gets too far. Poe slaps his shoulder twice as required by law, and reverses into a hammerlock of his own. Stank slaps HIS shoulder twice, and is able to reverse into an Armbar. Poe, showing a bit of agility, is able to hit an ARM DRAG, and come up with an Armbar of his own. Stank quickly spins to his right and grabs Poe’s other hand. He bends down and tries to take him over for a BACKSLIDE…That gets a quick 2. Poe lands on his stomach, and when Stank goes in to attack, Poe gets him in a SMALL PACKAGE! That gets 2, and Stank kicks out. Both men charge each other, and Poe is able to maneuver and hit a HIP TOSS, but Stank holds Poe’s arm, and rolls through for a DEEP ARM DRAG! Poe stands up, across the ring from Stank. The crowd is…what’s the word? Perplexed? There’s a smattering of applause for the wrestling clinic.

The two lock up again, and again it’s a stalemate. Eventually, Poe works it into a waistlock. First Stank tries to break Poe’s hands apart, and then he hits a STANDING SWITCH! Poe quickly reverses into a Standing Switch of his own. Stank hits his knees and maneuvers into an INSIDE CRADLE! That gets 2. As soon as Stank gets to his feet, Poe hits the SCHOOLBOY ROLLUP, and That gets a long 2. Stank hits a LA MAGISTRAL CRADLE, and THAT gets a long 2. Both men stand up, and the crowd offers another smattering of applause, and there’s also a quiet “BO-RING” chant now as well. The two cross the ring to lock up again, and Stank works an Armbar. Poe reverses into an Arm bar of his own. Stank turns that into a hammerlock. The crowd has apparently had enough, and they start shitting on this. Poe does the double shoulder-slap and reverses into his own hammerlock. More boos. Stank shows some nimble feet, and is able to reverse and lock in a headlock, and this is more than the crowd can stand. Davin Moreland outside can sense the crowd turning on the wrestling display, and decides to stand on his chair and offer the 2 a Golf Clap. This is the last straw, and the crowd REALLY turns on Stank and Poe now. Poe and Stank actually let go of each other and take a couple of steps back trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Stank spots Davin standing on his chair and applauding, and literally growls. He takes a couple of steps over to the ropes and starts berating Davin from inside the ring. He’s not paying attention, and Poe hits an OKLAHOMA ROLL…and that gets a very long 2. Stank is pissed, and Poe shoots Stank a pretty smug look by the looks of things. Well, now Stank is REALLY pissed, especially since the crowd appeared to enjoy that, and charges across the ring.

This time he doesn’t try to lock up; this time, he’s leading with a right hand which catches Poe on the jaw. HEAVY right hands, one right after the other, and this drives Poe all the way to the ropes. Stank LEVELS him with a Clothesline, which knocks Poe out of the ring. Stank follows, and starts putting the boots to Poe with some stomping. That culminates with a couple of kicks to the head, and Stank appears to have taken control of things. Selena slinks around the corner and eyeballs Stank from a safe distance. Stank growls at her, and she runs away; the crowd obviously shits all over that too. Stank’s got a weird grin on his face – apparently he’s digging being the bad guy here. He pulls Poe up, and SMASHES his face into the STEEL POST, and that’s gonna be some bleeding the hard way from Poe, right from the middle of his forehead. Stank kicks him in the gut…DDT ON THE CEMENT! Stank yells again, and the crowd boos some more. Stank pulls up a woozy Poe, and WHIPS him into the STEEL STEPS, knocking them over. Stank appears to be in complete control now. He walks over and pulls up Poe…Now he hooks him in and pulls him WAY up…POWERBOMB…POWERBOMB…STANKBOMB! Right on the STEEL STEPS! This could spell doom for Poe! Stank rolls Poe into the ring at 3 (longest 3-count EVER), and immediately goes for the cover. SOMEHOW, Poe manages to roll his shoulder at 2 ½. Stank doesn’t appear to be affected, he just hits the far ropes and hits a STANKONIA 2.0! Another cover, and AGAIN Poe just does get his shoulder up right before Barros counts 3. Stank drags Poe to the middle of the ring. He pulls him up…and…LOCKS ON THE SOUTHERN COMFORT!

It is hooked in well, and the bloody Poe appears to be in HUGE trouble. 20 seconds go by, and Poe is unable to do ANYTHING to improve his situation. Another 20 seconds pass, and it looks like curtains for Poe. A “POE!” chant starts from the home crowd, led by Selena on the outside. The camera cuts to Davin Moreland, who is yawning. Whatever. Barros leans in to check on the fading Poe, and it appears that it’s that time…time for the “Drop The Arm 3 Times” Spot! Barros drops it the first time…and it flops back down like a dead fish. The second time is an instant replay of the first. The third time however, Poe manages to JUST keep his arm up and…using the Power of the Shaky Arm…appears to come back to life. Poe STILL can’t find a conventional way out of this hold, but eventually, he appears to get an idea and QUICKLY hits his knees. This ends up being a Modified Jaw Breaker, and Stank instinctively lets go of the hold and walks away rubbing his jaw.

Poe is unable to follow up right away; he’s not in the best of shape right now. He’s up to one knee as Stank appears ready for battle again. Stank charges across the ring, and Poe LEVELS him with a SHORT SPEAR! Stank has had the wind knocked out of him, and we’ve got ourselves a momentum switch! Poe pulls Stank up, and WHIPS him into the corner. HUGE SPLASH from Poe. A WHIP to the opposite corner…and ANOTHER HUGE SPLASH! Stank stumbles forward, and Poe scoops him up…he hits THE PENDULUM! Poe into the cover…1…2…NO! Stank is able to kick out still. Poe pulls Stank up again…and gets him WAY up, and holds him there. He grins and takes one arm away! It’s DA DELAYED BRAINBUSTAHHHHHHH! Poe covers again, and AGAIN Stank is able to kick out at 2. Poe wastes no time, and pulls up Stank. He’s got him up on his shoulder…He’s looking for The Crucifixtion, but Stank starts PUNCHING AWAY at Poe from on top, and is able to reverse into a FACEBUSTER. Quick cover, and that gets 2 again. Stank pulls Poe up…and gets him on his shoulders…HE’S looking for the Stank-U! But Poe is able to slide off Stank’s shoulders! Kick to the Gut! Poe’s got Stank up AGAIN for The Crucifixion! Stank SLIDES OUT THE BACK DOOR! Stank spins Poe around, and kicks HIM in the gut, and puts Poe on his shoulders. He’s trying for the STANK-U again…and POE REVERSES INTO A TOR-NA-DO DDT! Poe signals to the crowd “It’s Over”, much to their approval. He pulls Stank all the way up…and NAILS THE CRUCIFIXION! Nighty-night Stank.
WINNER in 23:52 by PINFALL…POE!

Selena runs into the ring and starts jumping around. Stank is aware enough to powder out; and Poe gives Selena a big hug and spins her around. The crowd starts to buzz. Poe puts Selena down and starts to look around at the crowd, giving them a hand. All is well and good until OUT of NOWHERE, he is DROPPED by a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! The crowd is NOT happy by this turn of events. Davin is talking some OLD SCHOOL SMACK over the corpse of Poe, and then gives the crowd a Douchebag Pose with the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship still strapped around his waist. Satisfied, he turns to walk away, but then spots a confused and clearly terrified Selena not too far from her master. Davin takes half a step toward her, and she takes like 5 steps backwards. Davin blows her a kiss. That’s inappropriate. She’s only 16. He then flashes the DEA Gang Sign and flips off the crowd. He leaves to a well deserved “ASS-HOLE” chant.

IHOP vs. CONCRETE TG & REVENGE OF THE NERDS – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match

Crete and Revenge of the Nerds are out first, they sprint to the ring and slide under the ropes and then take position in the corners of the ring much to the crowd’s delight. IHOP is announced and they come out, accompanied by The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, Fezzik and Monkh. The band of rabble make their way to the ring, also receiving a nice ovation from the crowd and take their position in the middle of the ring. The two teams meet and we get handshakes all around, the referee holds up the chimpionships and then calls for the bell.

Skurge and Crete will start things off, they slowly circle then lock up. Skurge backs Crete into a neutral corner, and Crete backs up the turnbuckle until he is standing on the middle one, Skurge grabs Crete and tries a biel out of the corner, but Crete holds on and reverses it into an arm drag. Skurge spins to his feet as does Crete, and Crete catches Skurge with a drop kick to the chest, then reaches out and tags in Nayr. Nayr flips into the ring over the top rope and grabs Crete’s arm and they try a double clothesline on Skurge, but Skurge ducks and hits the ropes, tagging in The Amnesiac. Skurge catches Crete with a forearm to the face on the rebound. Nayr never saw the tag, so he gets caught from behind by a spring board bulldog from The Amnesiac!

The Amnesiac hooks Nayr and rolls him over and covers for a two count. The Amnesiac pulls Nayr to a sitting position and grabs a reverse head lock, then reaches back and tags in SYB. SYB charges into the ring and connects with a drop kick to Nayr’s face while The Amnesiac nails a kick to the back of the head at the same time. Nayr is down again and SYB covers, but Larson rushes into the ring and breaks it up at two. SYB screams at the referee and pulls Nayr to his feet and sends him to the corner, but Nayr climbs the turnbuckle and head fakes SYB right to the mat. As SYB gets to his hands and knees, Nayr jumps off the top rope, springs off the ropes and does a back flip leg drop crashing down right on the back of SYB’s head. The crowd pops nicely for his, and Nayr rolls SYB over and covers, but Skurge breaks it up at two. Nayr pulls SYB to his feet and backs him into the challengers corner and then tags in Larson, and the two of them take turns chopping SYB until his chest is beet red and he collapses to the mat. Larson remains in and gets a running start and hits a nice delayed drop kick, catching SYB right on the mouth. Larson pulls SYB out of the corner and covers, but SYB manages to roll his shoulder at two.

Larson gets to his feet and heads to the apron and looks over at Fezzik, Monkh and Dorothy Mantooth. Larson seems to resent them cheering on SYB so he runs down the apron and tries to snap Fezzik off with a hurracarana, but Fezzik doesn’t move, so Larson ends up on his shoulders. The referee is not really sure what to do and tells Fezzik to drop him, so he does. Larson hits the floor with a thud, and we see, inside the ring, that SYB managed to tag Skurge. Skurge gets a running start and hits a swanton over the top rope to the floor, landing right on Larson and driving the wind out of him.

Skurge rolls Larson back into the ring and covers, but Nayr breaks it up at two. Skurge pulls Larson to his feet and hauls him up for a vertical suplex, but Larson impressively shifts his weight and lands behind Skurge, grabs him from behind and hits a SWEET release German suplex! Crete calls for the tag, but Larson ignores it and calls for the SHINOBI’S RAGE! Larson explodes out of the corner for the first super kick, but Skurge ducks it, spins and nearly decapitates Larson with a clothesline, spinning him around and landing him on the mat face first. Skurge tags in SYB and then hooks a barely conscious Larson’s legs and catapults him right into the HEBREW HAMMER! SYB falls on Larson, hooks the leg, one, two, three.
WINNERS in 14:09 - IHOP

[IHOP celebrate their victory on the floor while Bryce & Nayr seemingly are at odds in the ring. Concrete tries to calm them down, but as Nayr asks him to leave, Bryce grabs a mic. ‘Crete respects Nayr’s request, leaving as Bryce starts talking.]

BL: Nayr! Where were you, huh? What happened? I’ll tell you what happened: I got pinned again, because YOU weren’t there. If it weren’t for you, we’d be leaving with the titles, not those guys. And I am sick and tired of losing because of you, Nayr.

N: What the hell is your problem, Bryce? You’re the one that got pinned, and I’m getting blamed for the loss?

BL: Now you listen to me for a second, Nay—

N: No! You listen to me for a second, Bryce! [Bryce, surprised by Nayr’s response, stops and motions for Nayr to continue. The crowd pops for Nayr’s show of intestinal fortitude.] You see, I’ve been listening to your garbage for almost two months now. You want to call me a geek, a midget? That’s fine. I’m proud of my video games, and I’ve been short all my life. But I know I can wrestle, and I know that I am the one that carried this team all along. You can stand there and disagree--but these people know it, the wrestlers in the back know it, and I can assure you...GM The Rick knows it, too.

BL: GM The Rick? Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?

N: Remember that meeting I had with The Rick? That envelope? Well, here it is. [Nayr pulls out the envelope, and shows Bryce a piece of paper inside.] It’s a contract for a title shot, Bryce, against the OOWF World Tag Team Champions.

BL: [Suddenly excited.] Wait, you got us another tag team title shot?

N: No Bryce, no. GM The Rick gave ME the title shot, me and a partner of my choosing. And I’m not 100% sure you’re the man for the job Bryce. So along with this contract, I asked for one other thing out of GM The Rick. A match…a match against YOU at the next Pay Per View. [Crowd pops for that announcement.] That’s right, Nayr vs. Bryce Larson on Pay Per View, and the winner gets this title shot. So if I beat you—no, when I prove myself to you--then I can pick anyone I want to be my partner and challenge for those titles. But if you beat me--the contract is yours Bryce. And then you can go find a partner that you think is worthy of teaming with you!

[Nayr drops the mic onto the mat and leaves. Bryce, with a disgusted look on his face, looks down at the mic. He decides not to say anything else, but as he watches Nayr leave, his expression turns into a smile. Bryce slowly exits the ring and makes his way to the back.]

ALEXANDER DARLING vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

The crowd is pumped for this rematch, and start with the pro-IRA chants before anything happens, because they know this is OOWF, where the challenger comes out before the champion. Instead of the expected song, the lights dim and a green floodlight hits the entrance. Seamus McNasty steps out to the following song:

He is bathed in the green light, holding his arms spread out, looking up towards the spotlight with eyes closed, in perfect mockery of Darling's pose. The crowd is eating this up, and a few Seamanites are singing along. At the end of the entire three minutes, the music kicks in to "Rebels of the Sacred Heart" and the arena goes wild. Seamus McNasty gets in the ring, laughing, and even referee Hightower is amused. The lights dim again, and "Prelude 12/21" starts up with appropriate lighting. Alexander Darling steps out into the light, accompanied by Alexis Darling, and he is not happy. Instead of his usual douchebag pose, he stands there, arms crossed, boring a hole into McNasty, who is still amused with himself. "Princes of the Universe" comes on and Alexander wastes no time getting into the ring. Alexis is following, but is laughing at McNasty's entrance. They enter the ring and Alexander talks some trash to McNasty, who is too busy laughing to care. Alexis however, gives Seamus some applause, which gets her a dirty look from Alexander. Alexis rolls her eyes at her brother and gets out of the ring. Hightower signals and here we go!

Last week's match was full of submissions and tests of strength, but Alexander will have none of that this week. He comes out like a house of fire, with a flurry (Wooooo) of (Wooooo) chops (Wooooo), that drive Seamus back to the corner. Alexander continues the onslaught (ha!) with some shoulder blocks to Seamus's ribs and midsection. Hightower begins the count, Darling backs off, as Seamus stumbles out of the corner, doubled over. Darling doesn't let up, with double axe handle to the back of Seamus's neck. Still, this doesn't bring all 6'4" down, so Darling drops a right elbow onto McNasty's back at the same time he brings a rising knee to his stomach. He goes to the second rope and leaps off with a elbow drop, driving him further to the mat into a face buster. He rolls McNasty over for a pin, but it's early yet, and McNasty can kick out at one.

Darling trash talks some more, obviously expressing his appreciation for McNasty's tribute before the match. Seamus gets up slowly, but then surprises Darling with a European uppercut. He follows up with a left and a right. Darling bounces off the ropes. McNasty grabs his arm and throws him into the far ropes. Darling bounces off as McNasty bends down and lifts Darling up and over, into a back body drop. McNasty starts putting the boots to Darling, as Alexis yells words of encouragement to her brother. McNasty picks Darling up, and over into a vertical suplex. He holds the vertical bit for a really......loooooooooooooooong......time, before slamming him back down. He pins Darling but only for about 1.89. McNasty gets up and before Darling can recover, Seamus has him up, kicks him in the stomach, gets him into position for the Celtic Cross (his, not Finlay's) but as he gets Darling onto his back, Darling wriggles free, and clubs the back of Seamus's head, then reaches around his neck and DARLING DRIVER! Alexander takes his time to make the cover, as the camera swings around and we see Eric O' Mac coming out of the crowd. At first Alexander Darling doesn't see him, as all his attention is focused on his opponent. Alexis tries to get his attention, but it doesn't work. She and Eric exchange a look of some sort as Eric jumps in the ring, bringing a chair with him. Finally, this gets Alexander's attention, and he turns to face O' Mac. Hightower yells at Eric to get out of the ring, but Eric simply slams the chair on to the mat and brings it back up to the ready position. Darling growls at Eric, and Seamus is getting to his feet. Darling charges Eric, but Eric ... moves to the side? He swings the chair and hits Seamus McNasty right upside the head. Seamus goes down, and Hightower calls for the bell. Alexis has her hand over her mouth in shock. Darling begins to celebrate, until "Rebels of the Sacred Heart" hits, and Hightower lifts McNasty's arm. Darling protests, until Hightower reminds him that the belt CAN change hands on a DQ, based on Darling's own stipulations. Darling is furious, and turns to find Eric, who has already made his way, grinning, three-fourths of the way up the ramp.
WINNER in 14:08 and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion – Seamus McNasty

FEAR US vs. THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

Williams and Jack enter first, looking to be in bad moods. Van Halen's "Right Now" blares over the PA, but the challengers do not emerge thru the curtain. LDW and OBJ are getting impatient as the music kicks on again, but again, nobody comes out. The cameras quickly cut to the back and pan the hallways. Nobody's laid out anywhere. The camera goes into the TCH locker room... and everything is gone. No Johnny. No AA. No bags. No golf clubs. No bookie slips. Nothing. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Williams and OBJ are ready to beat someone up and they demand some replacement competition. Luckily for everyone here, we have some local enhancement talent on hand.

FEAR US vs. BROCK McCAIN & JOHN O'BAMA - Non-title Match

No contract signed here, so the titles are not on the line... as if that was going to be a factor. The champs jump McCain and O'Bama as soon as they step in the ring. Jack and Williams stiff the shit out of the poor bastards and beat the hell out of them all over the ring. O'Bama takes a big backdrop bump to the floor while Williams chops McCain til his chest is purple. Hard turnbuckle bump, and Jack bulldogs him down. To the corner again, and Williams just pounds the hell out of him with wild lefts and rights, and when the ref tries to step in and break after a five count, LDW catches him with a stray right hand, sending the ref falling thru the ropes and hard to the floor. O'Bama crawls back in and eats the CALL OF THE WILD~! We have no ref, however, so Jack rolls out and grabs a couple of chairs. CONCHAIRTO for McCain! But... before the massacre can continue, Phantons and Lucios hop out of the crowd, grab the tag team titles, slide and and CLOBBER the champs! Lucios powerbombs Williams on the chair, and then Lucios grabs the chair... and it's the FLYING SPIKE WITH THE CHAIR for OBJ. Phantos rolls out and tosses the ref back in, and Lucios tosses O'Bama's dead weight onto Jack. The ref slowly crawls over... 1............2......................3!!! What the hell is going on here??
WINNERS in 4:48: BROCK McCAIN & JOHN O'BAMA

[Jack Quinn]

FIREWOMAN vs. TYTAN – OOWF Intercontinental Title Steel Cage Match

And ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our main event of the evening here in Springfield, Maryland. The sound of typing is heard and then “Perfection Can Be Created…” leads right into “For The Love of God” by Steve Vai begins to play. Tytan appears through the flickering lights and makes some poses on the ramp. This crowd is mostly cheering him as he makes his way down to the ring. He walks around the outside of the ring and checks the sturdiness of the cage before climbing up the steps and into the ring. He bounces off the ropes a few times as the lights dim and there is suddenly a burst of flames on the stage. The Cult’s “Firewoman” kicks in as Firewoman walks through an opening in the flames. FW seems to be basking in the heat of the fire while Alexis Darling rushes past her to avoid getting burnt. Firewoman snickers as she takes off her Intercontinental Championship belt from around her waist. She passes it to Alexis Darling along with a quick kiss on the cheek before running down the ramp and sliding through the open door under the bottom rope and into the ring. She charges right at Tytan and would have gotten him if Mel Creech didn’t block her path and inform her the match hasn’t yet started.

Tytan looks furious as he gestures between Firewoman and Alexis and is screaming at Creech that this was supposed to be just Firewoman and himself. Creech says there’s nothing he can do because Alexis is a licensed manager of everyone in Run DEA. Tytan has had enough and he makes a signal to the back. Firewoman and Alexis turn to face the entrance when Mr. Biggs appears and makes his way down the aisle. Now Firewoman is pissed and motioning that Biggs shouldn’t be allowed out here. Mr. Biggs shows a piece of paper to Mel and the camera zooms in and across the top in big, bold letters we see MANAGERS LICENSE. Firewoman is furious now that her advantage on the outside has been nullified and Creech just shrugs as he calls for the bell.

Fire is unprepared for that event though as Tytan charges and crushes her in the corner with the momentum of a powerful train. FW crumbles to the mat under the force of Tytan and he doesn’t waste time in following up by bouncing off the ropes and almost taking Fire’s head off with a face-wash kick. Tytan is going for the quick win as he drags FW to the center of the ring, but it’s way too early to take down the champ as Tytan only gets a one count. He picks Tytan up off the mat and goes for a scoop slam but Fire slides out his grasp and hits him with a dropkick to the inner leg. Tytan staggers back as Firewoman bounces off the ropes and goes for another dropkick. Tytan is really staggering now and FW bounces off the ropes again, but Tytan avoids the dropkick and goes for a clothesline, but Fire matrixes back out of the way and in one fluid motion does a complete flip and kicks Tytan right in the side of the head.

Tytan drops to one knee and tries to shake the cobwebs out, but he has no time to do that as Fire runs right at him and connects with a SHINING WIZARD. This match has started off at an insane pace and Fire looks to continue that as she drags Tytan towards the ropes and places his leg across the middle rope. She bounces up and down a few times on the bottom rope before bringing her full body weight down on Tytan’s knee and I don’t think a knee is supposed to bend that way. Creech is trying to count to five, but this being inside a cage and having no rules, basically renders him pointless as FW comes crashing across Tytan’s knee again.

Fire is trying to ground the big man and it seems to be working for the time being as she now works a spinning toehold against Tytan. Tytan is struggling to turn himself around and grab the ropes as Fire keeps reapplying the hold. Tytan finally works his way around and grabs the middle rope, but Fire refuses to let go of the spinning toe-hold and there is nothing that our referee can do about it. Finally Tytan struggles enough and takes a good grasp of the middle rope as he pulls his legs in and Fire’s face crashes into the cage. Tytan hops up to his feet as Fire wipes her face. She looks at her hands and doesn’t see anything of note, but as she puts her hand down she barely has time to notice Tytan’s big forearm wrapping around her throat with the DECAPITATOR. Firewoman does a complete flip before landing on her back. Tytan wastes no time in dead lifting Fire off the mat and placing her over his shoulder and using her as a battering ram into the cage. Over and over and over and over again until he finally drops her across the top rope. FW falls to the mat and slowly rolls over and we see that she is pouring blood.

Tytan takes some of the blood and wipes it across his chest. He picks Fire up once again and holds her for a delayed vertical suplex and it is really DELAYED. The crowd really picks up on this as they hit 30 in their count and the blood is pouring out of Firewoman’s head leaving a pool on the mat before Tytan finally completes the move and FW crashes to the mat. Tytan rolls over and makes a nonchalant cover…

1…
2…
Fire gets a shoulder up. Tytan just shrugs as he picks Fire up onto his shoulder once again and it looks like he’s going to see if she flies like “Lawn Dart” Rey Mysterio Jr. He starts running toward the cage, but FW slips off his shoulder and she’s able to grab hold of Tytan by the tights and ram him hard into the cage. He bounces off the cage, but FW doesn’t let go. She just goes with the momentum and takes Tytan’s head and slams it into the other side of the cage. And then she holds his face there and starts using it like a cheese grater and we see the blood start to come out of Tytan’s head. Slowly at first, but as Fire continues to rake his face the blood starts flowing more freely. And the crowd starts booing louder as Firewoman seems to be taking massive joy in the amounts of blood she is spilling.

Fire finally lets go of Tytan and waits for him in the center of the ring. He staggers out towards her but she runs behind him, bounces off the ropes and catches him from behind with a bulldog. She locks his legs and gets into position…FIRESTOMP connects and Tytan’s face smashes into the mat sending blood flying. Fire tries to roll him over, but he’s a lot of dead weight right now and by the time she gets him onto his back and makes the cover, he’s too close to the ropes and he reaches out to grab it. Firewoman is pissed and gets in Creech’s face that he should make the count anyway. Mel just shrugs and goes back his very interesting Sudoku™ puzzle. FW snarls at him before turning back to Tytan and she starts kicking away at him. She whips him towards the rope and connects with a very nice leg lariat. As Tytan falls to the mat, Fire stands up next to him and hits a beautiful STANDING MOONSAULT. She stays on top for the cover…

1…
2…
Tytan kicks out. Fire doesn’t let up as she motions to Alexis on the outside and she starts looking under the ring as Tytan gets whipped into the corner. Fire hits a round off back handspring elbow right into Tytan’s jaw, but he shakes it off and grabs FW in a half nelson and slams her with a backbreaker. Both participants fall to the mat as Alexis finally finds what she was looking for under the ring and she pulls out a lead pipe. Biggs sees what is going on and heads over to grab it from her. Inside the ring, both wrestlers are still down and trying to get to their feet. Biggs and Alexis are struggling over the pipe when there is a loud murmur from the crowd and out of nowhere Biggs is slammed headfirst into the cage by Alexander Darling. Alexis takes the opportunity to reach down and pick up the pipe and she slides it to Firewoman.

Firewoman looks down and sees what she has and looks up to give a grateful nod towards the Darlings. Alexander is stomping away at Biggs when Alexis grabs his arm and points to the ramp where Poe & Moosehead Jack have started making their way down the aisle. They quickly hightail it over the guardrail out through the crowd with Moose and Poe in pursuit. Medics help Biggs to his feet and help him to the back as the clusterfuck on the outside finally seems to be taken care of. Inside the ring, Creech sees what is in Fire’s hand and tries to persuade her not to use it, but she shakes him off and she swings at Tytan. He catches her by the arm though and we have a fight over the pipe in the center of the ring. Tytan wins the struggle as he pushes FW away and as she turns around he nails her in the stomach with a kick. He picks Fire straight up in the air and military presses her over his head and then he just drops her. He runs to the ropes and jumps high in the high before landing a splash to Fire’s back…CORPORATE FALLOUT. He rolls Firewoman over, this could be it…

1…
2…
2.5 and Fire barely rolls her shoulder. Tytan slams the mat in frustration as he tries to think about what to do next. He seems to come to a decision and he drags Firewoman over to the corner and he places her in the tree of woe…it looks like he’s going to attempt a HOSTILE TAKE-OVER. He gets Fire secure and he heads to the opposite corner and then he charges and goes for a baseball slide, but Fire pulls herself up and disentangles herself from the ropes. Just as Tytan is about to pull himself out from the corner Fire jumps straight in the air and comes down with a double stomp right on Tytan’s chest. That takes the air out of him as Fire falls against the ropes and takes a second to try and recover herself. She is still pouring blood, but it has dried up in a few places leaving a really disturbing image. She slides a hand through her hair and it comes through the other side covered completely red. She gets a sick look on her face and smiles a dark, dark smile. She walks over and grabs Tytan and snap mares him over to the center of the ring and then lays a kick right between his shoulders. Tytan flinches, but it doesn’t seem to hurt him. She kicks him again, and the same effect. Tytan shrugs it off as he slowly starts getting to his feet. Fire keeps kicking away and it just seems to make Tytan stronger as he turns around and grabs FW around the throat with both hands. He picks her up and spins her round and plants her with a TWO-HANDED CHOKEBOMB. Firewoman is in trouble, but as hits the mat, her hand comes into contact with the lead pipe. Tytan drops down to make the cover…

One…
Two…
Thr…NO!!! Fire slams Tytan in the skull with the pipe and he rolls off of her. He’s barely conscious as Firewoman rolls to her side and faces him. She slams him in the head again and again and again and again and again. She has gone insane as she just kills Tytan with the pipe. Creech is imploring her to stop and she looks up at him with wild eyes. She tosses the pipe away and is about to make the cover when she stops and looks up. She gets to her feet and puts Tytan near the corner. It looks like she’s going to finish this one off with the BFE. She hops up on the second turnbuckle and then abruptly stops. She looks over her shoulder at the prone Tytan and a wide smile comes across her face. Firewoman climbs to the top turnbuckle, and then she continues to climb…all the way up to the top. The crowd is speechless as Fire stands on top of the cage and looks down towards the ring and then gives the fans a two-finger salute as she turns around and faces away from the ring. She takes a deep breath and then she jumps backwards…

OH MY GOD!!!

FIREBOMB!!!

OH MY GOD!!!

The crowd is stuck in that place between being absolutely in shock and going apeshit crazy as Firewoman slowly crawls back over to Tytan…She makes the cover…

1…
2…
And
3!!!

Creech calls for the bell as Firewoman’s music begins to play and the cage begins to rise. Mel gets the belt and hands it to Firewoman who crawls to the corner and slowly begins to get to her feet. Paramedics are rushing down to check on her and Tytan, but she shoves them off as she slides out of the ring and slowly makes her way up the ramp. Tytan gets some smelling salts to revive him and then he shrugs off the medical personnel as well. Firewoman makes one last blood-soaked pose at the top of the ramp and there is one last look between Tytan and Fire before she makes her way to the back. Tytan gets a nice cheer in the ring, but that’s a weak consolation prize as he came up just a little short tonight.
WINNER in 23:15 and still Intercontinental Champion…FIREWOMAN!

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Dance of Death V! Live, January 25th from Hell, Michigan! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! January 14th from Springfield, Ohio

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