MidWeek Mayhem (02/18) Live! From Springfield, SD
Feb 18, 2009 19:27:02 GMT -5
Post by DevSop on Feb 18, 2009 19:27:02 GMT -5
*Hooters Restaurant*
"King of the Indies" Bryce "Bad Ass Dragon" Larson and Nayr the Halflin Paladin are sitting at a fine Hooters establishment enjoying their fine Buffalo wings. Bryce has a bottle of Heineken in front of his order while Nayr is drinking a chocolate milk. Nayr starts to point at someone when Bryce slaps his hand down.
Bryce: First of all, never point at a woman. It's rude and it makes you seem desperate.
Nayr: But I am...
Bryce: I know you are. You know you are. Most of the world knows you are, but there's still a slight chance she doesn't know that yet.
Nayr: Okay, got it. Pointing is rude. Now how do we find out her name.
Bryce: Watch and learn. Very subtlely let me know which one she is.
Nayr is his own sublte, re: obvious, way signals which one she is to Bryce. He points out a petite blonde with a pair of glasses standing near one of the soda fountain machines. Bryce nods and calls their waitress over. A stunningly tall and beautiful blonde with an obviously fake chest struts over to their table. She gives a bright smile to Bryce while pointedly ignoring the stares of Nayr.
Bryce: Well hello there Kaley. I must say that you've made this a magnificent meal for me and my colleague here.
Kaley: Anything for you Bryce.
Bryce: Hey, how do you know my name? I haven't been able to give that you just yet.
Kaley: Well, I have to admit Bryce. I'm a big fan of yours. I've followed your career for a while.
Bryce: Well, isn't that sweet? It's always nice to find a fan, especially one as beautiful as you.
Kaley: Aw, you're just saying that.
Bryce: Not at all. My colleague, Nayr and I were just discussing your beauty. Tell her Nayr.
Nayr: ...
Nayr just continues to stare.
Kaley: Okay, he's freaking me out.
Bryce: You have to forgive him, he's still just learning how to interact with females.
Kaley: That's awfully nice of you Bryce. To help your partner out...
Bryce: HE'S NOT MY PARTNER.
Kaley: Sorry, I just thought that since you and he...
Bryce: No, I apologize for snapping. It's just that too many people think we're still partners when nothing could be further from the truth. I just feel bad for the little guy. Let me make up for my snapping at you.
Bryce reaches into his pocket and pulls out some front row tickets for tonight's event in Springfield. He starts to hand them off to Kaley, but he pulls them back at the last instant.
I can only give these to you on one condition.
Kaley: Oh my god Bryce, anything you want...and I do mean anything.
Bryce: I will have to keep that in mind. But this request is the last thing I will ever do here for my former midget partner.
Nayr: I'm not...
Bryce just gives a look at Nayr and he quiets up.
Bryce: Do you see your co-worker over there? The short, petite blonde standing near the soda machine. Nayr here has developed a crush on her.
Kaley: You mean Mary Jane? Really?
Nayr: Oh my god, her name is Mary Jane and I am flippy like Peter Parker. This is like fate or destiny.
Bryce: What the hell are you talking about?
Nayr: Spider-Man dude. Mary Jane is totally the hottest chick in comics.
Bryce: Oh god lord, stop being such a nerd. Kaley, if you could do me a favor and send her over, these 2 tickets will be yours and hers tonight.
Kaley: Totally Bryce. I'll go and get her.
Kaley walks over towards Mary Jane and they start whispering to one another and pointing towards Bryce and Nayr's table. Mary Jane has a shy smile as she looks over.
Nayr: Oh my god Bryce, she totally just smiled at me. I can't believe she smiled. Thank you so much. I'm nervous though. What should I say when she comes over?
Bryce: Just be yourself Nayr. I know I've said some things, mean things, but all a girl really wants is for you to treat her like a real person and be yourself.
*WHOOSH*
Darling Man: That is excellent advice Citizen Larson.
Nayr and Bryce turn towards the voice and see Darling Man and Goldie Girl standing in typical hero pose. Larson can't help but chuckle, but Nayr hangs his head and he does not look happy at this current turn of events.
Paladin Nayr, you do not seem happy to see Darling Man and Goldie Girl. Is there something we have done to upset you?
Goldie Girl: I think it's cause I said he was short as the chinks I competed against in the Olympics and they were only 12 years old.
Darling Man: Goldie, how many times must I tell you that Heroes do not use such language.
Goldie Girl: I don't know, but maybe I should be punished with the Darling Belt again.
Darling Man: I figured that Nayr could use some help from someone who actually isn't going to turn his back on the cause.
Bryce: You think you're fooling anyone Alexander.
Darling Man: I am no longer Alexander. I am now Darling Man and it would be in your best interests to remember that, Bryce.
Bryce: Is that supposed to be a threat Darling Man?
Darling Man: Take it however you want.
Just as Bryce is about to stand up and get in Darling's face, Mary Jane coughs from behind them. Everyone turns to face her and Darling Man has to reach out and grab Goldie Girl before she attacks. Mary Jane takes a step back as Darling Man gets in front of Goldie Girl.
*WHOOSH*
Darling Man: Hello Hooters waitress, I am Darling Man.
Mary Jane: Um, hello. I'm Mary Jane.
Goldie Girl: I wonder if she knows pothead Phelps.[/b]
Nayr: How dare you? Mary Jane is a sweet girl. She would never do anything like that.
Mary Jane: That is so sweet. You're the nicest guy ever.
Nayr begins to blush.
Goldie Girl: Oh god, gag me. This is sickening.
Darling Man: Stop being so mean Goldie Girl. Nayr can't help it if this is the first time a girl has ever spoken to him.
Goldie Girl: Hell, just imagine if she were to touch him. There would be hundreds of videos available on e-Bay if that were to happen.
Bryce: What videos?
Darling Man: You haven't seen Nayr's porn collection?
Nayr: I don't...there isn't...shut up.
Mary Jane: Ummmmm, I think I have to go. Maybe I will see you tonight.
Mary Jane walks off and Nayr slams his head on the table.
Nayr: How could you do that to me?
Darling Man: Do what Paladin Nayr. I was only trying to help.
Bryce: No wonder Davin is looking for new partners.
Darling Man glares at Bryce and the staring contest begins until Nayr breaks it up...
Nayr: Would you two just STOP IT? This wasn't about you guys for a change. This was supposed to help me and neither of you did anything to help. In fact, you've both made it worse. Maybe Takaken has been right and you are just a waste of my time and energy Bryce. I really thought...well, it doesn't matter. I'm done trying with you. And for you "Darling Man," we both know you're no hero. So stop playing the part.
Nayr gets off his chair and throws down some money before leaving the Hooters. And he doesn't even stare at anyone's chest as he leaves. He must really be depressed.
Darling Man: Well, I guess my work is done today. Off we go Goldie Girl to help those less fortunate than us.
*WHOOSH*
As the camera begins to fade, we see Bryce Larson head off towards the waitresses and we see him saying something to Mary Jane...
*Fade*