[Attitude Adjuster]

An Invisible Ninja Cameraman sneaks into an unmarked locker room. Inside, we see Attitude Adjuster, Johnny Adrenaline, FFC III and Stank sitting around a table playing cards, drinking beer and having an animated conversation.

AA: And then Johnny grabbed the chair from the 14-year-old girl and smashed it over Sam Houston's head!

JA: I never thought that girl would grab her brother's chair and clobber me. She swung a mean chair!

AA: And probably saved Houston's career.

(The others stare at AA for second before all bursting out in laughter.)

FFC: Sam Houston's "career"! Oh, Gawd, that's a good one!

Stank: It sounds like you guys had a great time away from the OOWF. But we're glad you're back.

JA: Looks like you guys did well on your own. Stank, the World Champ. Capslock, what a gimmick!

FFC: Yeah, it's pretty cool. But despite it all, we're still not making the cash like we were when it was D&D vs. TCH. Two-time match of the year, gimmicks of the year, angles of the year. We were beyond Styling & Profiling!

Suddenly, a chair mysteriously falls over, then the door opens and slams shut by itself. Yet we continue to see the locker room scene.

Stank: Got damn Ninja Cameramen! Can't even have a private conversation around here anymore.

AA: Ahh, it was just a matter of time before they found out about the OOWF Clique.

FFC: No way! If we wanted them to know, we would have done a Madison Square Garden when you guys left. The clique stays private.

JA: So when are you guys reuniting so we can bring the house down again?

Stank: Not sure. Maybe you guys attack us separately and we're forced to team with each other for a few one-night only deals?

AA: Let's think on it some more. Meanwhile, it's good to be back.

FFC: I LOVE YOU GUYS!

The foursome reaches across the table for a very unmanly group hug as the scene fades to black.

[Tommy]

***OOC - FINALLY someone got that OBJ ***


*Davin Moreland is on his SPRINT PCS PHONE~!~!~~!!~! in the GM's Office*

DM: Yeah...listen, now's prolly not the best time to talk about that...It's not important...Fuck you, I had nothing to do with that...uh huh...Well, I was leaving toward Erlana...Stop laughing...She's better than you are lately...Yeah, I said it...Well, that's why I was checking I mean, we have a match and all tonight...That would be weird...Fine, that makes sense...All right...Yeah, I was, I thought it went pretty well...Well whatever...it's not like they're all jumping at the opportunity. You haven't really inspired a lot of confidence of late...Well, we can worry about that when you get back...Oh that? Well, we're going through the surveillance tapes now, it wasn't anything we couldn't handle...No...No I used mine...Well, whatever, to me, it's all the same...All right...Get better, Rick.

*He clamps the phone shut*

E: So, what'd he say?

DM: He said he backs you too.

E: Goddammit.

DM: Listen, after tonight, I'll talk to Eco and see if he wants to step in too. Hell, Stank too, why not? Christ, 4 people has to be better than 2, right?

E: Maybe. Hey listen, you should talk to LD Williams.

DM: About what?

E: About us. Our side.

DM: Y'all must be crazy. He's Bennett's #1 Bitch.

E: He WAS.

DM: Fine, I'll talk to him, but don't expect much.

E: Listen, if you don't talk, they can't accept, ya know?

DM: A fair point, Erlana. That's what makes you such a good GM.

E: Fuck you.

DM: And so even-tempered too. All right, I'm off in search of LD, listen, if you hear from Stank, keep trying to convince him to help us, huh?

E: What about Crete?

DM: What ABOUT Crete?

E: You want to bring him in on this as well?

DM: Why in the blue fuck would I want to do that?

E: Umm, he's a supporter of Rick...

DM: He's also a godammned freak show. Trust me, if Crete were brought in on this, you'd see a bunch of people jumping ship; that list includes me, and it includes the World Champ, so you should tread really lightly when bringing him up.

E: Alright, sorry I brought it up.

DM: At least you know where I stand. Sometimes things aren't always what they seem to be.

*Davin leaves and heads for the Run DLP Locker Room, Presented by Aquafina. Before he gets there, his Sprint PCS phone rings again with "Danger Zone" as the ringtone*

DM: Hey...no, I was totally serious...Well, ask him and let me...uh huh...ok, I get that...I know it's not you, don't be silly...yeah...Well, I can tell...You're assuming he's the one that is...well, it's an important distinction, you don't know for sure...Didn't I say I would help if it came down to it? Yeah, even if that's what has to happen...I dunno why honestly, I just feel like I need to is all. People are people Lexie, no matter what they've done in the past...No, I get that too. No, I do...Well, if you really think you have to I'll be at the Dunkin Donuts Hospitality Tent...All right then...listen, just consider the offer, that's all I can ask; if it's no it's no; I can live with that. Alright.

*He clamps the phone closed and goes inside*

P: Hey D.

DM: Hey, where's Smokey?

P: I think she was in your room last.

DM: All right, don't bother me for like an hour, I need a nap.

*fade*

[Capellan]

"I see you fell short agian, Viper." Capellan greets his ex-tag partner and long-time nemesis backstage. "How's that solo career going now I'm no longer 'holding you back'?"

"Fuck you."

Cap visibly thinks about hitting the obvious line, then shakes his head. "Too easy."

"Fu -" Viper catches himself. "Did you have a reason for bothering me?"

"Just to tell you to make your peace with losing agian this week. I beat LD at the Pay Per View. I'll beat you tonight ... and then I'll get my shot at Stank, and the outcome will be different."

"You're assuming you'll make it to the match tonight."

"Well, why wouldn-"

*DEATH ELBOW*

Viper lays the boots in on a prone Capellan.

"See you in the ring, Cap ... assuming you're conscious by then."

[Eric O'Mac]

**Fade in**

**We join Eric O'Mac, in his wrestling gear, chilling in the DEA Suites. He is relaxing in a chair, staring straight ahead with a deep look in his eye. Lucky walks in with a pile of papers and puts them in Eric's lap.**

Eric:...the fuck is this?

Lucky: I wanted to help you prepare for your match tonight so I did some research on your opponent and higlighted areas where Bunny has strengths and weaknesses, where you have strengths and weaknesses, and I cross-checked them to see if there was anything alarming that you should be on the look out for. I also have an average of both Bunny's and your statistical averages since this past September.

Eric: And where the hell was this last Sunday?

Lucky: You told me to piss off when I brought it up. But I did it tonight because Mr. Darling yelled at me for not helping you prepare for your match Sunday.

Eric: Ah yes. Good times.

**Eric looks at the stack of papers.**

Eric: How many pages of research and stats are there?

Lucky: 58.

Eric: And you believe this is vital to my success tonight?

Lucky: The statistics do not lie.

Eric: OK....well, instead of me reading all of this, why don't you point out the most important things I need to keep an eye on.

Lucky: OK, well first of all, Bunny has a .987 FLIP Ratio.

Eric: I know he's a good flipper. You shouldn't have to put that in any research.

Lucky: No sir, the FLIP ratio is this: Flying Logistics Internal Profile Ratio.

Eric:...And that means?

Lucky: That he is more prone to flying through the air and doing flips.

Eric: OK, what else.

Lucky: Well, based on the past month of matches that you've had with him, I was able to calculate his FPR: Fluke Probability Ratio. Based on my results, his FPR is also very high, almost a perfect 1.000. It currently stands at .991. This means he isn't able to beat you unless something very unlikely was to happen.

Eric: Like Davin paying off the referee, beating the hell out of me with a chair in what should have been an obvious DQ?

Lucky: Exactly.

Eric: Who has my match tonight?

Lucky: I do not know.

Eric: Well, don't you think that is important? I mean, I got screwed last Sunday! And unlike my Onslaught Title win, this screw-job was NOT legal.

Lucky: I am sorry. But that brings me to you.

Eric: Me?

Lucky: Yes. I feel that your strongest factor is your ETSP: Entertainment Taunt Stalling Percentage. Using your taunts and your ability to make matches seem longer than possible, you will tire the Bunny out and out last him, thus makign your matches highly entertaining.

Eric: OK. Lucky, put away the stats for a minute. Because I'll let you in on a little secret. Bunny's going to be champion tonight whether I like it or not. And that's OK. If I want another shot, I'll get one. But tonight is about more than championships. It's about blood. It's about revenge. It's about dominance.

And Bunny will be the FIRST to find out exactly what I'm talking about.

**Fade out**

[Mikey]

attitudeadjuster said:

AA: Ahh, it was just a matter of time before they found out about the OOWF Clique.

OOC: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This is why AA is the best.

[Andy]

A lawyer knocked on The Heels' door. Attitude Adjuster answers.

AA- Yeah, may I help you?

Lawyer- Alan Capps?

AA- Um...yes?

Lawyer- You are being sued for copyright infringement.

AA- WHAT!?

Lawyer- Do you remember saying this?

He shows him a video clip on a handheld video device.

tarheelmike said:

JA: No, you were talking to me, Alan.

AA: SHUT THE FUCK UP, JOHNNY!

Lawyer- That phrase is an official trademark of Mr. F. Fonzworth MacCappington III. We'll see you in court.

He leaves.

AA- Boy, this really isn't as much fun around here since FF got money.

JA- Yeah, way to go, jackass.

AA- SHUT THE...door on your way out, please.

JA- HA HA!

AA- Wasn't he just saying he loved us?

JA- Yeah, but he also loves his copyrights.

[rabbxt]

**Bunny is walking down the hallway, when he discovers that Moosehead Jack's locker room is engulfed in flames!**

Bunny: Holy shit, dude! What do I do!? What do I do!?

**Bunny scurries down the halls and finds LADDER leaning against a wall. He grabs it and takes it back to Moose's place.**

Bunny: Don't worry! I'll save you!

**Bunny climbs LADDER and notices a scaffold hanging above Moose's door. He transfers from LADDER to the scaffold.**

Bunny: This is getting really scary, man. I don't wanna up and leave, but I can't watch this.

**Bunny applies a blindfold, blocking his vision so he is no longer scared of what might soon happen to him.**

Bunny: I'm coming! I can't see shit, but I'm coming to save you!

**Bunny walks across the scaffold and climbs down and moves around and climbs back up.**

Bunny: I saved you. I knew I had it in me.

**Bunny is holding a kitten in his arms, very gently. He glances to the floor below him and sees that LADDER has run away.**

Firefighters: Jump into this trampoline!

Bunny: That ain't a trampoline! It's a giant OOWF flag!

Firefighters: It's all we could find around this place!

Bunny: Phantos has a trampoline at his place!

Firefighters: You're wasting precious time! Jump!

Bunny: Alright! Here I come!

**Bunny jumps off the scaffold, kitten in hand. He lands in the giant OOWF flag, but tears through it on impact and slams face first into the concrete floor.**

Bunny: Ouchies!

Firefighters: Whoops...

Bunny: I'm in pain!

Firefighters: Well, our job here is done...

**The firefighters leave Bunny to recover on his own. Bunny finally gets to his feet.**

Bunny: My eyes are bleeding!

**Moosehead Jack walks out of his locker room and the flames magically die down.**

Moose: Bunny...

Bunny: Moose...

**Moosehead Jack keeps walking. Bunny feints and hits the floor. He awakes several hours later.**

Bunny: Ew. My eye blood has crusted over. Maybe watching some TV will heal them up.

**Bunny walks through the halls and into his locker room. He turns on the TV.**

Black Sabbath: NA NA NANANA NANANANANANANA NA NA NA

Bunny: Iron Man? Doesn't look that good.

**Bunny changes the channel.**

Jim Ross: A Twist of Fate from the top of the cage!

Jerry Lawler: That's a Whisper in the Wind, JR!

Bunny: Yay! Cage match!

**Bunny zones out while watching the boring WWE programming. He ponders the events that had just taken place.**

Bunny: Moose's place up in flames. Inferno match. Setting up LADDER. Ladder match. Climbing around the scaffolding. Scaffold match. Blindfolding myself out of fear. Blindfold match. Giant OOWF flag. Flag match. Bleeding out of my eye sockets. First blood match. Moose walks away and I fall over. Last man standing match. The Iron Man movie. Iron man match. Steel cage match on RAW. Steel cage match. It's all coming together now!

**Bunny watches some more wrestling for a minute, then snaps out of it.**

Bunny: Wait... What was I doing?

**Fade to black.**

[Jack Quinn]

FADE INTO THE ER AT THE ISAFJORDHUR HOSPITAL

EMT workers burst in with Skurge strapped to a gurney with SYB and The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth at his side.

Doctor: (in broken English) OK what we have here?

DM: I don't know doctor, we were out and about celebrating a big win and he just fainted.

SYB: Aboot.

Doctor: Sir please no monkey business, yes? (to DM) Continue yes?

DM: My boys won a big match and we started drinking. I opened a bottle of champagne and he collapsed.

SYB: Hoser can't hold his liquor. He fell after sniffing the bottle, eh?

Doctor: He is Joo yes?

SYB nods.

Doctor: That explain it. Joo is weak and cannot drink.

Skurge is slowly coming to.

Skurge: Great Odin's raven, what happened?

SYB: You passed oot.

Skurge: But I-I-I didn't drink anything. I haven't touched a drop since the Manischewitz at my bar mitzvah.

Doctor: You have Joo liver, yes? You are lightweight. No more drinking.

SYB: No more drinking? Good thing you're not Canadian, Solly. We come oot of the womb with a case of Labatts, eh?

Skurge: (to DM) Now it's coming back. You paid a visit to Moose, right?

DM: I did... and I told MooseheadJack off.

Skurge & SYB: Heh heh heh heh heh.

DM: (rolls her eyes) Is he going to be OK, Doctor? We have a match tomorrow.

Doctor: He will be good, yes? He will still be Joo though.

Skurge: (mutters) Eat a goat cock.

SYB: Beauty, he'll be fine.

DM: Whew. Let's give him time to rest, Skurge. We still have another bottle...

SYB: That's what I'm talking aboot!

*FADE OUT*