[Andy]

As heard on MNF Male Bag 15 available on www.flawedcast.net/mondaynightflaw

Austin Sanders
*Cums*

*This email is early due to it being a wonderful day.*

Why hello everyone! It's cherry blossoms and falling kitty's outside. As
you can tell I'm in a good mood this week. Because during the last weeks
emails, I was angry and filled with rape hate. I was finally noticed by all
of my peers on the malebag! YAY! and I was
you're Intercontinental champion! DOUBLE YAY! I'm so very happy this week
and I just want to hug all of you with my best Barney the dinosaur hugs!

Although I would understand if you would think my gleeful hugs were an
attempted rape. No no no yes no no no no...That's not me this week.
Let me explain my happiness to you all! And no it's not that I found
Christ, But good for you Faber! ""GOD"" for you for finding the lord! Lolz.
puns. Just another reason for me not to kill myself. I love puns.
PUNSHOUSE.COM! go there fa...errr saints.

Now back to my good news. If you listen back about 2 weeks ago, I said some
pretty mean spirited stuff. Some stuff I'm not proud of.....some. If you
haven't listened to malebag 13, you can go to flawedcast.COM and listen
there. Haaha, I know it's dot net. We like to joke here on the malebag.
Don't worry Andy, I'm sure you'll make it to the big leagues someday at the
"dot coms".OR you can listen on the stitcher app! Did you know that's how I
got to know about this wonderful show? No? COLD HARD FACTS! I LOVE
REFFRENCEING OTHER PODCAST SHOWS! IT'S HYSTERICAL, ORIGINAL, AND NEVER GETS
OLD AT ALL!, UNLIKE ME!
*Stares at Cam.*

Wow, I'm REALLY getting off track. So as I was saying...I got my notoriety
I've been so very crack head "I'll suck ya dick for a dollar" Attention
I've desperately waited for! I was in awe! I was champion! I WAS FINALLY
HAPPY FOR ONCE!

Everyone hates me.

My happiness turn to frowns and I was down all day. I tried to not give a
flying fuck about what others thought about me, but it didnt work. I tried
to also do the things that made me happy. Play a game, work out, Chill with
my family, skin a cat, improve my Randy Savage voice impression, Stand in
front of Chick-fil-a with a "fuck you faggot" sign (very accurate cam),
sing "Don't stop me now" by queen in front of locals on the street WHILE
standing in front of chick-fill-a with a fuck you faggot sign. And finally,
Just being with my loving sexy smart and caring Girlfriend......oh
wait.....

I was just a pile of sad. But something inside of me turned on my flame. I
had this sudden urge to...well...be plesent. I was just happy to be alive!
And you know what, I have to think it was all Fabers doing. No one has
ever wanted to trade me their biological daughter just to legally call me a
son. I cried again, but it wasn't a "bad" cry or "rape" cry, It was finally
a happy cry. I saved those tears, just to prove myself I COULD be happy.
Here is a picture of what it looks like.

static2.travelandleisure.com/images/amexpub/0010/3797/200911-w-pools-golden-nugget.jpg


Yeah I got some work to do in my basement, BUT LOOK! A HAPPY GIRL IN MY
BASEMENT! FINALLY!!!!!
THANKS FABER!

So because of my happiness, I want to say nice things about everyone
who participated last week! And yes, this IS technically what Faber did
last week. But you know what they say, flattery is the best form of Faber!

But before I do that, I just want to say a few things in regards to last
weeks emails.

First off, um..ok...Chris. Andy. Straw dogs was a movie. And
you apparently didn't get my joke. I was basically saying that I wanted Vin
to get raped. ehhh it was probably redundant anyway because he was touched
by his father and mouth fucked by Depsop. And no, these arn't jokes. You
wanna know what theses are? COLD HARD FACTS!

Also, you are now thinking of Sarah reading last weeks email.

ALRIGHT-A-ROONIE! AFC IS OPEN! And now handing out free equality
and complements.

Lets see here...who emailed first...mmm...lets seeOH WAIT IT WAS
ME...again...for like the third week in a row and probably this weeks too.
5 stars for consistency!

James Enright. You're fat. Am I Enright?
No. No I am En'WRONG sir. You are big boned and don't let anyone tell you
other wise sweetie.

Nicole. The great little mouth! Oh I'm sure that's a lie, since you're
marrying Andy. (That's my complement to you big stuff. wink wink your dick
is like a hung manatee wink)
Also Nicole, by the sound of those "Yes's" on last weeks malebag, You seem
strong and aggressive enough to make ANDY tap out in bed. 5 stars for
wearing the pants in the house.

Jon Drouin. I hope you email in more. But be warned, people are vicious on
here. But as long as you can change you're personality on a dime like Cliff
can, I'm sure you'll fit right in.

Demko. Never leave. You're like the hot girl in the bar with no
friends surrounding her. But before you get the chance to ask her for a
drink she just leaves. Demko, please don't leave like hot women at the bar.

Hodgie. I honesly don't know much about you, but Keep emailing in. You'll
be the third Faber in no time, second btw is me.

Cam Gullet. Fuck you and you're sexuality. God hates fags queer bag. See, I
even made a song about how homo you are and it's ironically in the tune of
"Happy and you know it"

If you're Gullet and you know it clap your hands
(clap clap)
If you're Gullet and you know it clap your hands
(clap clap)
If you're Gullet and you know it and your shit dick clearly show it, if
you're Gullet and you know it, clap your hands
(clap clap)

Whatever, fuck you.

Clifsnotes. Read above statement fag-a-tron.

Stu Little. I enjoyed you're email last week! I will offer a
friendly challenge, if you and I are opponents at king of the ring, I
am declaring that you get off your bagpipe and come out of retirement from
rapping cause I want to beat you at your own game! This is a friendly
challenge and I hope you accept. May the best man win. Oh and don't worry
about me not being in king of the ring, Cam's a faggot.

Dustin, I would gladly step aside if you ever asked my to. And would even
not email in the week I face you. My words from above have said enough to
make you out to be this awesome Bibleman. I hope this complement is "GOD"
enough for you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.aw man....Puns.

JB Kink. What happens when you take 40 letters and 40 spell checks? You get
a successful, funny and ironically not ripping me off email! I'm assuming
you're champ this week. But stop calling people fags man, it's hurtful.

James Ryan, you need to stop being so hateful man. These people here think
you hate fags. It's killing your rep. But good way to put pedo in his
place. At home with an ankle bracelet. Can't wait for him to make a
"pout" video just as much as I can't wait for you're "trout" video. For
those who don't know, he cought a fish. It's a trout.

Now for you're host!
Andy. You have a big dick. There's your new running gag for ya.
Chris. Nice AJ Lee wife!
Sarah. Good for you being a nice AJ Lee wife!

And finally. The listeners. The ones that don't email in or download and
delete this show out of niceness.

*The fallowing is very raw. listener discretion is advised*

Noncontributing listeners, you are the reason rapist get off on rape. You
are the reason millions of rapes go unnoticed every decade you ugly fat old
fucks.
I'm going to throw you at wal mart and leave you their with not parental
supervision. I'm going to set you on fire like Hitler and you're going to
have to jack off like you never had before just put out the flames. 5 stars
for Hitler comparisons.

I wish I could go back and time and kill you right before you were born. At
least you're parents would show up on my doorstep in present time and
tearfully thank me because if it werent for me, they wouldn't have the time
to do the things they would really want to do. Like not raising a fuck up
faggot as a child. Then you're mother would suck me right there while
you're father would just watch and say "Now I can enjoy stuff like this
cause you killed my personal satin." THEN YOUR FATHER WOULD GIVE ME A RUB!
The only bad thing is that "the rub" is 20 dollars. Ask Bj Drag Kink on how
that happened.

Now if you got a problem with me, you have a reason to email in now. But
you probably won't. Whatever. Have fun playing the new game "Cam Gullet" at
you're retard school for failed retards. It's when you walk around eating
jiz out of a mayo jar and try to see how many women will kiss you. However
this game is a trick and you can never win. because 1- You're ugly, no
woman wants to see you're pizza face. 2. You're retarded, and this isn't
Forest Gump. Dreams of falling in love don't come true for people like you
non-contributing assholes.and 3- It's cum. It's depsops cum. That jar was
hole fucked by depsop. It happened and there's nothing you can do about it.
Fuck. You. Faggots.

I AM AND SHALL FOREVER BE THE COLONEL. AUSTIN. FUCKING. SANDERS!
And I am the most original world heavyweight champ for life.

Love peace and penis greases
TheTallOne
PS. you lost Gullet. Cry to your mom. Oh wait. Shes dead. at Waffle house.
Thanks for the Cam lesson on Facebook. Buttmuffler.
PSS. I love life.
PSSS. Clit? Clilt? CLILT?! YES! YES! YESSSSSSS!
PSSSS. I'm officially a maineventer now faggots.
(look at picture below)

encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSS3OMcLcA1s6noSqERA95IMzU0QFyas2yMnvZUm-SOWYMvP7V4tA



Cam Gullett

THE CHAMP IS HEEEEEERRREEE!!!!!

I am the 4 time, 4 time, 4 time, 4 time, Best male whore in Arkansas!!!!

Oh yeah, and I have this belt thing too, whatever.

So Austin Sanders think he is going to finally fuck a faggot this week on
his way to the King of the Ring tournament? NOT UP IN HERE!! If there is
going to be any gay sex going around this dump then it will be me doing the
fucking. Speaking of which, you're welcome for the eye candy, Ryback.

Austin Sanders says that if I beat him then he will only email MNF every
other week as though that is some incentive to vote against me. Nobody even
gives a shit how often that little child emails this show, well DevSop
probably cares how often children email the show, but nobody gives a flying
fuck what that piece of shit thinks. A real threat to the listening
audience would be for me to say that if I were to lose then I would go back
to emailing 2-3 completely unfunny emails to the show every week as opposed
to the one that I currently send.

JB King is champion once again and if you combine that with George W. Bush
getting a second term in office then you truly have reason to believe that
retards can accomplish anything that normal people can. Gud jerb Kieng!

I sincerely hope that everyone enjoys Austin rehashing old jokes that have
been made about me countless times already as there is literally no new
ground to be broken in the war against me. It's kinda like how I have to
find a new rest stop every few months because eventually there are just no
new dicks to suck.

Could I actually be King of the Ring? It wouldn't be any dumber of a
concept than when the WWE let Mable and Bad Ass Billy Gunn be Kings.

Speaking of stupid things in wrestling; fuck you Kevin Nash. Wrestling died
when Eddie and Benoit hugged after Wrestlemania XX? Yeah because everyone
remembers King Mable vs Diesel and the finger poke of doom as being high
points in wrestling mythology and will be telling their children all about
that one day. Kevin Nash is to wrestling what Austin Sanders is to the MNF
male bag. They are both tall pieces of shit who can barely string a logical
thought together and always come off the rails right when you think they
are about to be good and worthwhile.

I have been here since day one, and have provided countless hours of laughs
to all of the loyal listeners out there, not by necessarily always being
funny myself, but more from allowing myself to be the punching bag of the
entire flawedcast network and I have done so without complaining once. I do
this because by doing so I can make myself more than a man. I do this
because I can be a symbol. Not a symbol of hope, protection, and all that
Batman bullshit. Nay, I represent a symbol of gay jokes, whoring, and a
bullseye for the hackneyed joke tellers who contribute to this male bag and
to people looking to get a few bucks for meth alike.

Austin is none of those things, well other than the whole being a cum
dumpster thing, he is that. Austin cannot even hold my jock on his best
day, mostly because I have already promised that special time to El
Serpiente Maracon, because he makes me feel pretty; but also because
Colonel Sanders' jokes are about as funny as the idea of letting DevSop
watch your young children is.

In all seriousness, Sanders, go die in a ditch you useless, one note joke
fuck.

As always, "Dashing" Cam Gullett, cohost of the wildly popular Army of
Dorkness.