Post by Road Warrior Shark on Nov 30, 2016 19:46:36 GMT -5
~~~ Standing outside the General manager's office is... Commissioner Firewoman ~~~
Firewoman: With the vacating of the Onslaught Championship, there is yet another opportunity for someone else to step up and prove themselves worthy of being a champion.
We are going to have an Elimination Series. Six wrestlers will face off in the next 5 weeks.
This coming Wednesday, in Toropets, Russia, all 6 will be in the ring at once. The person who takes the fall in that match is eliminated. The other 5 move on to the next week, and we will repeat the process each Mayhem until we are down to 2 wrestlers.
At the first MidWeek Mayhem of 2017, January 4th from Hama, Syria, we will crown our NEW! Onslaught Champion. And by new, I mean NEW. None of the six wrestlers in this competition will have ever held the Onslaught Championship before.
~~~ She tacks the lineup to the door and we zoom in ~~~
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (Show 776) Toropets, Russia December 7, 2016
OOWF World Title Match Beverly Cambridge (C) vs. Dre Gaines
World Tag Team Title Match Saints of Sinners (C) vs. Beer Money
Intercontinental Title Match Mac Flasher (C) vs. Miranda Williams
Onslaught Title Elimination Series Edra Cox vs. Poe vs. Kylie Mignolio vs. Mari Ariana vs. Shizuru-mune Mangyuniku vs. Nick Fleming
Chloe Neal vs. Mai Muyo Darling Twins vs. Banned From Everywhere Lindsay McAllister vs. Christian Carter 24 Hour Party People vs. Texpress Zed vs. Matt Folz The Circle v Ecosystem & Agrius
After vacating the Onslaught Championship and then losing the Intercontinental Championship to Mac Flasher, Rabbit Mask is sulking and fuming behind the curtain in Gorilla Position. Mac finishes his celebration in the ring and then walks to the back, running into Rabbit who then proceeds to get in his face, only the fabric of his mask separating the two of them.
Rabbit: That was uncalled for, Mac! The booking sheet said Rabbit Mask Title Announcement, not Rabbit Mask Title Defense! I wasn't expecting a match! I wasn't prepared for a match!
Mac: Hey man, look, I was just following orders. Nate said go out there and wrestle so I went out there and wrestled. I wasn't expecting it anymore than you were.
Rabbit: Nate told you to be ready at any moment! You're telling me this was the one moment you decided to not be ready!? You're working me! You knew this was coming! You had your music cued up and everything!
Mac: I promise you, sir, I knew nothing about it prior to being called down to the—
Rabbit: Well I hope you're satisfied with your win. Ambushing a man during the highlight of his career. Coming in unannounced and "cashing in" with that stupid gimmick you call an opportunity... You didn't win that belt fairly. I really want you to know that. I want you to have to live with that. You walk around here trying to be this nice guy, cozying up to everybody and doing your best to stay out of trouble... No, I see right through you. Tonight, you demonstrated who you really are. You're not that nice guy, Mac. You're a fake. You're a liar. You're just like Chad Madison. An embarrassment as a wrestler, an embarrassment as an Intercontinental Champion, and an embarrassment as a human being!
Mac: Rabbit, man, I wasn't trying to—
Rabbit loses it at the very thought of Mac even attempting to respond and tackles him into a nearby wall. The two have a brief scuffle before being pulled apart by some coworkers. One of them being Rabbit's wife, Mari Ariana (whose profile is up in the "Join the OOWF!" thread).
Mari: Babe, hey, stop! Look at me! Hey, calm down. Mac didn't do anything wrong and you know he didn't. Just stop this.
Rabbit: He ruined everything!
Mac: I really wasn't trying—
Rabbit: You ruined everything!
Mari: Stop! Mac, you're fine. He's just angry. You go celebrate and I'll handle him.
Mac scurries off and leaves Rabbit and Mari to talk.
Mari: What exactly are you trying to accomplish here? It's my first day, I really don't need you making a scene like this. As your wife, it reflects negatively on me. I want to make a good first impression on everybody and being connected to this kind of behavior doesn't help me do that. So you need to deal with what just happened without throwing a tantrum. Go get your things and I'll meet you by the doors. I brought your plane ticket.
Rabbit heads to the locker room and Mari hops off to wait by the exit doors. After gathering his things, Rabbit heads through the halls and encounters a few of his peers along the journey. He sees Alexander Darling and gets a fist bump. Matt Folz shakes his hand in a showing of mutual respect from the both of them. He gets to Tytan, who refuses to acknowledge him for a moment before patting him on the head. Firewoman is next, who remarks that Tytan patting Rabbit looked like a scene straight from Of Mice and Men. Rabbit smirks and gives Fire a friendly hug (all the while, Kayfabe glares from around a corner) before moving on. Last before Mari is Chad Madison, who removes his cowboy hat and offers Rabbit a departing handshake. Rabbit looks down at Chad's hand, then back up into Chad's eyes, before dismissing him completely and heading to the doors.
Mari: Call me when you're home. Be safe.
Rabbit: You, too. I'll be watching.
A hug and a kiss later, Rabbit is off and Mari heads back into the arena.
(Edra and Beverly are dragging Chloe to the back. Chloe is not happy.)
Chloe: Let me at him. I still owe that sonofabitch Carter.
Edra: Chloe, we have to go.
Beverly: Chloebear, it’s time to go. You’ll feel better.
Chloe: Fuck this. I wanna kill that sonofabitch.
Edra: Sis, please.
Beverly: No time, Chloe. Edra, NOW!
(Edra and Bev shove Chloe through a door and Edra follows closely. Bev locks the door and there is some banging for a moment but it stops and suddenly a whirring sound is heard. The sound fades away just as Texpress shows up.)
Chad: Where are they?
Beverly: Gone. For now.
Zane: We saw them come this way with you. Where did they go?
Beverly: In there.
(Beverly unlocks the room and the room is empty.)
Chad: Where are they?
Beverly: You’ll see soon enough. Have a good night, guys.
(Bev walks off, leaving a puzzled Texpress behind as the scene fades.)
As the returning Christian Carter walks from behind the curtain, he is immediately bombarded by a SFJ.
SFJ#56: Christian Carter, what a shocking return…why did you save Matt Folz?
Carter looks at her, and doesn’t really say anything.
SFJ:#56: Carter? Why go after your former teama…
CC: Those three were NOT my teammates. The day Alexander Darling decided to make decision on his own, was the day that Royalty really died! Alexander Darling is a self-egotistical jackhole, who needed a wake up call. The only thing is, he knew what he was doing when he left me for dead in that ring with the Saints. Alexander Darling is nothing short of Satan. And after 6 long months of a painful surgery and rehab, I’m back, and I’m going to end those who were behind it…Starting with Lindsay McAllister. I’ve asked Nate..who then directed me to of all people, Lisa Quinn herself, the commissioner of the OOWF. I talked to fire before going out, and wanted to come back. Signed the contract and everything, and as soon as hit the dotted line, I signed her husband, his sister, and Lindsay McAllister’s untimely death warrants!
And as far as saving Matt Folz, I know what Alexander Darling and the rest of them were capable of, and no one should go through that. Not even Matthew Folz. Despite my history with him, his ex partner and his wife, I have a lot of respect for Folz. Hell, I have a lot of respect for most of the roster. Just a few of I don’t, and that is why I did what I did.
He snatches the mic from her hand, and looks into the camera.
CC: If you think tonight was terrible Alex, you have another thing coming. Me kidnapping you was NOTHING compared to what I plan to do to you and your bitch of a sister. That’s right Lexi, the moment you left me in that ring, was the moment that I realized I meant nothing to you. You talked me into joining your brother…You were the one responsible for all what Royalty was, the queen…and now look at you. Your lower than a street hooker, looking for a good time with a crack fiend.
But it all starts with you Lindsay. I never liked the idea of you joining Royalty. And though I never said it, you were the weakest of the group. You were the one who made the group, and especially me, look bad, and next week, I’m going to make you look a whole lot worse. It’s time for Christian Carter to rise up and show this company what he is capable of. The future is on the horizon, as I look to end the Darlings and McAllister, and regain what I haven’t had in a long time…the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. I am the FUTURE...and The FUTURE IS NOW....WELCOME TO THE NEW WORLD! MINE!
Carter flips the mic and walks off as the camera starts to fade to black.
We see Matt and Jaime leaving the arena when SFJ12 comes up to them.
SFJ12: Matt, Jaime, can I get your thoughts on what happened tonight?
Jaime gets noticeably quiet and looks down while Matt sighs and tries to compose his thoughts.
Matt: So Royalty's apparently back, fine. I honestly couldn't care less. Like I said all the way back after Sadistic Games, I'm done with them. While I'm ALWAYS going to look to beat the absolute shit out of Alex and Alexis every time I'm across the ring from one of them, I'm not going to devote another year of my life to feuding with them at every turn. Jaime and I are both disappointed that Lindsay wants to still associate with them but it's her choice. But that's not what you want to talk about is it Erin?
SFJ12: I... along with I'm sure most of our viewing audience.... am wondering why you shook Christian Carter's hand tonight and what you two said to one another in the ring.
Matt: Honestly, I wish I hadn't shaken his hand. I did it because he ran in to help me, and for that I thanked him. But I also told him I will NEVER forgive him, trust him or help him in any way. If we get assigned to a random tag match together, I'll be a professional and work with him for the night but that's it.
SFJ12: Any comment on his claim to respect you?
Matt: Excuse Fucking Me??
SFJ12 plays the most recent Carter promo.
Matt: Kiss my ass. I feuded with that motherfucker for 2 goddamn years and he NEVER once showed me a single ounce of respect. I can give almost literally 100 examples but for time's sake I'll limit it to one. If you respect someone, do you force them to watch, locked helpless inside a cage, as you order your friends to try and permanently injure their wife? Seriously, get right the fuck out of here with that respect bullshit. I WILL NEVER forget what you did. I WILL NEVER forgive you for that day until the day I fucking die. Especially since you went on National TV the next day and bragged about it. Seriously, go fuck yourself Christian.
Matt cuts the interview short and walks off as we FADE
(Beverly is now with Tytan and Agrius as they stopped by an SFJ)
SFJ: If you three don't mind...
Tytan: (gestures for her to go on)
SFJ: Tytan, you've been quiet as of late..
Tytan: In front of the camera yes, but behind the scenes no. We are refocused and ready to make our next moves.
SFJ: How are you feeling?
Tytan: As well as can be expected.
SFJ: (nods, turns to Agrius) Agrius, a big victory over Mai tonight..any comments?
Agrius: People have begun to under estimate me again. Tonight is the first step in showing them that I am more than a lackey. I'm as much the future of his company as anyone.
SFJ: Edra and Chloe have left, any idea where they went? They have been acting a little odd.
Agrius: I'm aware of their pending location. The sisters are going thru some growing pains. All will be well soon.
SFJ: (puzzled) Growing pains? They are adults..
Tytan: Even adults grow, if they do not than they fail.
Beverly: To succeed you need to reinvent yourself to a degree, to learn and focus on goals. The Awakening is growing personally and professionally. We will be more dominant than ever.
SFJ: Many don't feel you are a dominant team.
Tytan:(laughs, as the others shakes their heads with smirks) Because they don't want to admit their own short comings. They can't bare to think they might have been bested. Have we been bested as well? OF course, but we learn from it, build from it. They can think what they want. We all know the truth.
SFJ: What are you thoughts on Rabbit leaving and Carter returning?
Beverly: We are all sad to see Rabbit go. Despite his turning his back on us in the early stages, we didn't hold any ill will towards him. It's business. I personally learned alot from Rabbit and I look forward to being in the ring with him again one day.
SFJ: And Carter?
Tytan: It is not often a zebra changes his stripes, but we shall see ...time always tells..
SFJ: Tiger. It's a tiger doesn't change his stripes.
Tytan: I wouldn't classify Carter as a tiger...
Beverly: (cutting him off) Nevertheless, He's back. Can he be trusted? Who knows. But Matt is right, not all past deeds can be forgotten.
Agrius: (leans over and whispers something to Tytan)
Tytan: (nods) Time is short, we have an...engagement to get too..
SFJ: Thank you all for your time.
(The scene fades as the Champion and the two men walk off)
Post by The Canadian Content on Nov 30, 2016 23:11:58 GMT -5
*Fade in to the palatial Beer Money locker room, where we find SYB and Skurge CELEBRATING~! their win at OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (Show 775), Koogi, Estonia, November 30, 2016...
SYB: Yay!
Skurge: Also, yay!
TLATDM: Also, also, yay!
SYB & Skurge: Wait, what?
TLATDM: I'm not allowed to celebrate?
Skurge: No, you totally are, it's just that, well...
TLATDM: I usually don't?
SYB: You usually don't.
TLATDM: Well you two don't usually follow two big wins with an impending title shot. Maybe I'm hopeful.
Skurge: Maybe you should be.
SYB: (In a Yoda voice) You will beeeeee.
...
...
...
TLATDM: Aaaand that's that mood ruined. Thanks, SYB. Ass. I'm going shopping.
*Dorothy leaves, and Skurge looks disapprovingly at SYB...
Skurge: Dude. It's her win too, eh? You couldn't just not be a giant nerd for five minutes?
SYB: Shit. Now I feel really bad. I'll try to make it up to her.
Skurge: (In a much worse Yoda voice) Do...or do not. There is no try.
*And the idiots laugh and laugh and laugh as we *FADE*
*the scene and a few INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERAS join AWESOME BILL FROM DAWSONVILLE, JUSTIN SANE, KYLIE MIGNOLIO, ZED and MAC FLASHER as the celebration party for MAC is winding down at the NOWHERE BAR, GRILL and PCPL REPOSITORY. The staff of NOWHERE BAR is also milling about while “Like a Friend” by Pulp pops on the jukebox because AWESOME BILL let MAC take over the music, for the first and last time*
KYLIE (while pulling on MAC): “C’mon. I need to see these sweet dance moves you keep bragging about.”
MAC: “I’ll be out in a bit, I just need to collect myself and figure out how things got to here with me holding a championship of any sort in OOWF, especially one that I didn’t pin a Nintendo controller to win. My head is still kind of swimming through all of this.”
KM: “OK, I’m holding you to this.”
*As KYLIE goes out to join AWESOME BILL, JUSTIN and ZED, ARCTIC McBEARINGTON brings MAC a Cherry Coke with a note on it. You know the drill by now. MAC’s grandparents should have really had a word with MAC’s first-grade teacher MRS. ZELENSKY about …
**KAYFABE barges through the saloon doors and glares at nothing in particular**
*… Orrrrrrr MAC reads the note to himself as the music in “Like a Friend” swells to its big second half, but MAC is still reading at an audible volume for the nearest INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA. Happy, KAYFABE? OK, good*
MF (to himself): “Drink up, champ ….
*ARCTIC grunts and sticks out his paw. MAC tips ARCTIC $5, which JUSTIN immediately tries to poach before ARCTIC glares him away*
MF (sarcastically): “Thank youuuuu, Arctic! OK, so where was I?” *MAC’s voice goes back to a murmur* “… You accomplished the easy part by winning against a guy who was prepared for you no matter his protests to the contrary. The hard part is going to be you holding onto that championship with a lot of worthy contenders in line to test you out. But hey, you’ve come a long way from the slacker who sat around at his desk playing Domino Drop all day though most of July and August. I admit that it’s a sweet game and all, but you’re never topping your high score on it. That was just a perfect game, Mac and you're never going above 192,800. But back to what’s important. You made believers tonight. Just don’t forget those who believed in you in the first place ... Yeah, probably BRICK~!, too, but good luck getting him to admit such a thing. Through everything, there are probably a couple people on the dance floor who wouldn’t be prouder if they held the championship that you just won themselves. But seriously, enjoy this because your world is about to change, and all of those right places that you were in to get to this point are about to become the worst places for you to be. But thats for you to worry about after the celebration.”
*MAC sighs deeply and pulls the bill of his Pirates New Era fitted over his eyebrows while his eyes begin to well up. As KYLIE, JUSTIN, ZED and AWESOME BILL begin a game of 2-on-2 foosball, MAC watches from afar and lets a couple joyful tears run down his face while taking a long chug of the Cherry Coke as the scene fades*
Post by DrMcAwesome on Dec 1, 2016 11:01:44 GMT -5
*the scene and a hovering INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA join MAC FLASHER as he is about to regain consciousness on a pool table at the NOWHERE BAR, GRILL and PCPL REPOSITORY. While MAC begins to stir, AWESOME BILL, ZED, JUSTIN SANE and KYLIE MIGNOLIO rush to the table in that order while “Don’t Need a Reason” by BETH ORTON plays because MAC seriously had a jukebox playlist that was over 11 hours long and nobody thought to change it up while he was unconscious ... Can you believe it?*
MAC (rubbing his forehead): “Please tell me that I didn’t try to drink the PCPL.”
JUSTIN: “He’s alive. Someone owes me five bucks.”
ZED (pounding pool table): “Nobody took that bet, Justin!”
JS: “Oh …”
MF: “OK, someone just verify that I didn’t try to drink PCPL.”
AWESOME BILL: “I done tried to git you drinkin’ a virgin PCPL, but you done ran out on the dance floor and tried to do one of dem flippy-dos like those there lucacaputis or something. Dropped right on your there head, right ‘chere.”
*AWESOME BILL touches the welt on MAC’s forehead as MAC jerks back*
KYLIE: “Yeah, you gave us all quite a scare. Especially before you went out when you tried to fight Arctic McBearington for bringing you a Wild Cherry Pepsi instead of a Cherry Coke. Took all of us to talk you out of it, because really … He’s a bear and he’d destroy you.”
*ARCTIC McBEARINGTON can be seen in the background shaking his paw in a menacing manner toward MAC*
JS: “Had five bucks on Arctic. I win by forfeit.”
Z (pounding pool table): “Nobody took that bet, Justin!”
MF (sitting up but grabbing his head): “I guess I should get off this table so people can play.”
AB: “Poppycock. We just playified ‘round you. Made fir an interrestifying series of games.”
*MAC stands up and finds an 8-ball and a 13-ball in the pocket of his hooded sweatshirt along with disposed cue chalk. As JUSTIN claims that he had five bucks on getting the 8-ball in MAC's hoodie, MAC then begins to stagger away with KYLIE and ZED at each side in case he begins to waver. As MAC begins to push through the saloon doors, SHIZURU-MUNE MANGYUNIKU pops up to hit a Dreamaker on MAC, dropping him to the ground. SHIZURU-MUNE makes the cover as a nearby OOWF OFFICIAL does nothing. JUSTIN shrugs and makes a three-count before sticking his hand out toward SHIZURU-MUNE*
SM: “I AM GREAT CHAMPION!”
Z: “Wrong champion, No. 1 Super Genius.”
SM: “…”
*KYLIE charges and snaps SHIZURU-MUNE’s head back with an uppercut and drills him with a spinning heel kick. SHIZURU-MUNE falls to the ground as the OOWF OFFICIAL giggles and walks away*
AB: “That sure was an unexpectified endification to this ‘chere story.”
*AWESOME BILL and JUSTIN help MAC to his feet while KYLIE and ZED do the same for SHIZURU-MUNE, both giving him a serious what-were-you-thinking glare. As MAC grabs his OOWF Intercontinental Championship and slings it over his shoulder, the scene fades as the quintet – and SHIZURU-MUNE – pile into a shuttle van to make the plane headed to Toropets, Russia*
Cut to L.D. Williams and Bing Bong in front of the Four Things scoreboard.
LDW: I did so do my part to build the feud with the Darlings!
Bing-Bong grumbles
LDW: Waddaya mean what? I promoed...once...I think.
Bing-Bong mutters
LDW: No, people don’t take me seriously because I spend all my promo time translating for an elephant.
Bing-Bong huffs
LDW: Fine! You want me to ‘build to a match? You want me to set stakes? You want me to be serious? Send you condolences to our opponents this week! Who are they, anyway?
Voiceover Tad: Beer Money.
LDW: Crap.
VoT: Hey, if you want to ambush them, I’m down. I can narrate it, participate, whatever you need.
Bing-Bong trumpets
LDW: Not unless you want to get another restraining order afterwards.
Bing-Bong grumbles
VoT I don’t know L.D. We could get some serious merch sales if we let her -
LDW: Start the show Tad.
VoT: But, the look on SYB’s face If she-
LDW: Tad, Start-The-Show.
VoT: Spoilsport.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this broadcast is sponsored by the Elephant Whisperer. I’m Voice-over Tad, he’s L.D. Williams, and SHE is the award winning, OOWF Diamond Princess Champion, Bing-Bong! This is
Bing!
Bong’s!
Four!
Things!
One:
Rabbit Mask leaves and Mari Ariana arrives almost at the same instant. If I hadn’t seen them together...
LDW: Careful Double B, you don’t want to upset Kay - she’s been in a foul mood lately.
Bing-Bong mutters
LDW: Not only are we not going to discuss the Fleming Flume, I’m going to need some of Bill’s PCPL to scrub the inside of my head.
Two:
Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
LDW: He won a title, drank himself into unconsciousness, and tried to get into a fight with bear.
Bing-Bong grumbles
LDW: Yeah, he’s growing on me.
Three:
Call it whatever you want, but if this “rebalancing” puts Chloe and Edra on the same level and the same page, the rest of the tag division is in serious trouble.
LDW: You realize that’s us, right?
Bing-Bong mutters
LDW: …it might motivate me...keep it up sparkles, and I’ll show you motivated.
Four:
They filled a bat...with beer...and drank it...and used the bat.
LDW: I wonder if we could build a flask into Happy Dethbat?
Bing-Bong chuffs
LDW: He already sleeps with it.
VoT: Great. Now I need some PCPL.
Ladies and Gentlemen, those were Bing-Bong’s Four Things.
Mac Flasher is sitting at Ric’s attempting to recover. A fresh cup of coffee is set in front of him and Miranda Williams sits down on the other side of the table.
MW:Hey champ! How’s your head?
MF: <groans>
MW: It’s your first Championship, you’re entitled to get a bit wild.
MF: ...did you?
MW: Well, I didn’t try to pick a fight with a bear...so you’ve got that on me.
MF: ...I’m never going to live that down, am I?
MW: Not if I can help it.
They drink coffee in silence for a moment.
MF: So...is this where we start throwing out veiled threats?
MW: Nah. In your condition, it’d be like kicking a puppy. Besides, we’re kind of in the same boat.
MF: How so?
MW: You won the title from an unprepared opponent and I’m on a losing streak. In some people's minds, neither one of us should be in a Championship match.
MF: ...guess they’ll be disappointed when we tear the house down.
Firewoman, Lucky, and Nate are at customs in the closest airport to Toropets, Russia, with a Russian customs officer.
GMtN: Look here, Yuri--
FW: NATE! Don't be rude, they aren't all--
YC: No, he's right....my name Yuri...Yuri Checkhov. And I let you go on way, provided ve discuss your wery, wery strange cargo.
L: I'm sure you'll see everything is order. I triple checked the declarations list myself.
YC: It is not dat you left things off...it's what you included....steel chairs? Ladders....Ve have dose in Russia.
FW: We're a wrestling company, so we like to bring our own, just in case.
YC: Vat is dis.....Happy....Deff Bat?
FW: Moose....
L: THAT is the personal property of one of our employees and it is not on the list of banned items...exactly...
YC: Okay....dat all fine and good...but what about dese?
L: Um....
GMtN: What?
YC: One forklift...one cannon....ONE TANK?
FW: THOSE are also personal property of employees.
YC: Okay....okay....VICH employees?
GMtN: Yes, Ms. Quinn...do explain.
L: .....
Fw: Well, uh...that is a matter that is ... um ... up to some dispute and--
YC: HOW DO VE KNOW YOU ARE NOT SMUGGLING VEAPONS INTO RUSSIA?!
GMtC: Now what makes you think--
FW: Because we're not?
L: Because in Russian, veapons smuggle you?
They all three stop and look at Lucky who merely shrugs.
YC: I must notify superwisor...
Yuri picks up the phone, but Lucky puts his finger on the handle, cutting it off. Because, yes, they still have old style phones in Russia. Why not.
YC: You.....
L: I think I know what this will take.... Lucky produces a large wad of bills and hands half of it to Yuri. Nate's eyes bug out of his head. Fire merely shakes her head.
L: Maybe your boss would like to check this out here?
YC: I um....I vill give him dese....papers. No pwoblems here.
Lucky clips the other half of the bills to the paperwork.
L: Give Mikhailov my warmest regards. Yuri nods. Lucky removes his finger and Yuri proceeds with his call. After speaking in Russian for some time, he hangs up.
YC: Sergei returns your regards and hope you all have good time in Russia. All property vill be sent to arena by our people.
L: Спасибо
YC: Пожалуйста
Lucky, Firewoman, and Nate walk away. Only Nate is not pleased.
Last Edit: Dec 2, 2016 13:17:13 GMT -5 by Fire-Babe
[DevSop] god your sex life scares me
[SeamusMcNasty] And that is why I hate the Miz. He's got potential, but he just doesn't live up to it. Unlike Randy Orton, who has no potential and lives right up to that.
MHJ: "if it is kinky, depraved, erotic, or a fetish, you will find it"
Cyclops698 "I'm 100% committed to our fake marriage"
"There's an old saying lad. What doesn't kill ya… usually succeeds in a second attempt." - Eugene Krabs, Spongebob Squarepants (S05E20 "Banned in Bikini Bottom")
HARD CUT to a OOWF logo and a “Please Stand By” message. That image is WIPE CUT to former WWE interviewer Todd Pettengill. Apparently the DJ thing at WPLJ isn’t enough to cover the lavish lifestyle so he’s moonlighting on OOWF-TV.
TP: “Wednesday night on OOWF Network’s Midweek Mayhem, the OOWF Onslaught Championship Elimination Tournament begins with a six-person match featuring my next guest, the newest singles competitor in the OOWF, Nick Fleming.”
Fleming walks on stage wearing a light blue suit, dark tie and large sunglasses. In Fleming’s world, it’s always the 1970s.
TP: “Mr. Fleming, you’ve had a mixed record since your debut in the OOWF, but now you’re in line for a shot at the OOWF Onslaught Championship. Your thoughts.”
NF: “My thoughts, Todd, are numerous. As you know, I’m an intellectual and master wrestling technician. My first thought is that our GM, Nate Corbitt, has finally shown that his brain isn’t all whiskey. And our new Commissioner, Lisa Quinn-Darling-Mann-whatever, may be a good influence on him.”
TP: “Uh, she divorced Alexander Darling and I don’t think she and Stank are married.”
NF: “Doesn’t matter. What matters is ... me. I’m the next OOWF Onslaught Champion. And I do not say this lightly, Todd. Though my competitors are some very talented individuals, I am the pure wrestling technician in that ring. It’s only fitting that the championship for pure wrestling goes around my waist.”
TP: “Any one of your opponents this week that you perhaps are concerned over?”
NF: “Well, of course, Poe is a legend. And Enda has an evil streak a mile wide which I greatly admire. But I’d be fooling myself, and my legions of fans, if I truly thought any of them could beat me one-on-one. But as this is not that type of match, anything could happen.”
TP: “Thank you for your time, Nick.”
NF: “As always, it’s been your pleasure.”
Fleming walks off as Pettingill continues.
TP: “Midweek Mayhem this Wednesday night only on the OOWF Network. I’m Todd Pettingill.”
"There's an old saying lad. What doesn't kill ya… usually succeeds in a second attempt." - Eugene Krabs, Spongebob Squarepants (S05E20 "Banned in Bikini Bottom")
OOC: Did Lucky train for Bratva with Oliver Queen?
ooc: no?
[DevSop] god your sex life scares me
[SeamusMcNasty] And that is why I hate the Miz. He's got potential, but he just doesn't live up to it. Unlike Randy Orton, who has no potential and lives right up to that.
MHJ: "if it is kinky, depraved, erotic, or a fetish, you will find it"
Cyclops698 "I'm 100% committed to our fake marriage"
(Beverly is in her suite in Toropets, Russia pacing. Her phone rings. She answers.)
Beverly: Where have you been? Well, I know. Yes, I understand it’s difficult, and with these two even moreso. They did what? Barriers? Mental blocks? Resistance? If you’ve damaged them...Right. It’s just, I’m attached to these two. Really? When? (A whirring sound is heard in an adjacent room) Right. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. Goodbye. Wait, what was that? Changes?
(Beverly looks at the dead phone as the whirring sound fades away. In walk S&M. It appears they are somewhat taller and both have accrued a significant bit more of muscle mass but also appear...softer. Their hair is once again jet black with a remarkable sheen to it, but their eyes are blue...light blue, that color that you could get lost in. Edra approaches Beverly and softly takes her in her arms and gives her a gentle kiss on the forehead. The same embrace is repeated by Chloe, but Chloe kisses Beverly lightly on the lips and runs her hand down her cheek)
Chloe: I have missed you greatly, my dearest friend.
Beverly: (Smiling, though a bit taken aback by the kiss) I’ve missed you too, Chloebear.
Edra: As have I, dear Beverly. Your old friend has a number of tricks up his sleeve as you can see.
Beverly: I can see. Are we...balanced.
Edra: In so many ways. As you can tell, his methods have not only balanced us mentally and emotionally, but he has used some remarkable technology to improve us physically.
Beverly: His methods are...remarkable.
Edra: Can you tell me, has Agrius been ... occupied?
Beverly: A little. He’s worked out, did a couple of photo shoots since we got here, but he hasn’t been...
Edra: Motivated?
Beverly: Precisely. He’s almost been withdrawn.
Edra: I felt that. I should go comfort him. Chloe, will you be well?
Chloe: Of course, you have missed him so much. Go relieve your tension. I will stay here with my second best friend.
(Edra and Chloe join hands and smile before Edra lets go and heads off to find Agrius. Bev looks into Chloe’s eyes and smiles.)
Chloe: You must help me.
Beverly: Anything Chloebear.
Chloe: Our friend says I require a companion as my sister has.
Beverly: That is not easy. It will take time...
Chloe: There was a person here. Cam Ryan. He has...something.
Beverly: He’s gone. He was fired by...
Chloe: Can you find him? Arrange a meeting?
(Beverly looks annoyed but Chloe’s eyes are almost irresistible. Finally Beverly smiles.)
Beverly: Oh, alright. I’ll see what I can do. I’m not a dating service, you know.
Chloe: Correct. You are my bestest friend that I can always count on to help me when I need help. You know I’m still awkward with these things. Even with Edra’s confidence.
Beverly: Don’t you worry. Even if this Cam fellow isn’t...
Chloe: I’ll figure that out on my own. Thank you BB. I will always be in your debit.
(Chloe hugs Beverly and walks out the door. Beverly shakes her head and walks over to a pile of folders and pulls out one. She opens it and smiles.)
Beverly: Killing two birds with one stone.
(Bev places the folder on top of the pile as the scene fades.)
An SFJ comes around a corner with and INC to find loud bass filled music blaring and strobe lights flashing as the 24 hour party people are throwing a two person rave. D. Jay is mixing tunes as X. Stacy gyrates wildly bouncing all over the place while sucking on a lollipop. The SFJ tries to get their attention, but they are completely lost in their own world. Finally fed up the SFJ finds the main power switch for the area and cuts it off.
X.Stacy: (pumping her fist in the air) Hell's yeah, we partied so hard we blew the system.
Her and D. Jay high five.
SFJ: Or I cut the power to get an interview with you.
X.Stacy: Awww, bummer.
D.Jay: Why did you do that.
SFJ: Because the OOWF fans will want to know why you walked out on your partner last week?
X.Stacy: Ughhh, why wouldn't we walk out on that loud mouth.
D.Jay: For reals, where does a dude who literally caused his team to be disbanded get off trying to boss around and undefeated team.
SFJ: Well to be fair, you only have two wins.
X.Stacy: Ummm, try three we totally won last week.
SFJ: On a technicality, after you walked out on your opponent.
X.Stacy: Technicality schmecticality, still goes on the record books as a W.
D.Jay: And this week will keep the party flowing when we drop the bass on the cowboys.
SFJ: The Texpress are tag team legends in the OOWF universe. This will be no easy match.
D.Jay: The cowboys are the old lameness...
X.Stacy: and we are the new hotness....
Together: And this party will never stop!
With that D. Jay cuts the power back on and the two go back to their personal rave as the SFJ just lets out a sigh and walks off.
"Obama then drops the chair, looks out at the crowd, Sting lowers a mic and Obama can say "FINALLY BARACK has come BACK to the Presidential debates. Throw up the Presidential eyebrow, fade to black."
Moose describing how the Vice Presidential debates should have ended.
(Chloe and Edra walk into a bar...I mean the Commissioner’s office.)
Fire: I was wondering when you would get back.
Edra: How can we help you, Ms. Commissioner?
Fire: You know the rules.
Chloe: Of course, Ms. Commissioner.
Fire: Why did you miss the flight here?
Edra: We did not.
Fire: (Picking up a clipboard) Then why didn’t you...
(The clipboard, apparently a sign-in sheet, has the sisters’ signatures on it.)
Chloe: We signed in.
Fire: Apparently. But you didn’t claim your.... (Fire is looking around her desk, then Edra and Chloe hold up validated tickets. Fire sighs.) OK, I need the two of you to go to medical. This is a surprise test as permitted....
(Edra holds up papers and hands them to Fire.)
Edra: We came here direct from Medical.You should have results shortly.
(Fire stands up and gets head to...chest with S&M)
Fire: I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but I’m keeping an eye on you.
Chloe: Of course, Fire. We would expect nothing less. Don’t pin any hopes on that test.
Edra: You’ll find us compliant. To a degree.
Chloe: No threats, you understand. We know our contractual obligations and will honor them.
Fire: See that you do. (Fire pokes at the muscles on Chloe) Impressive. Has anything...else...changed?
Edra: Nothing that would concern you, Ms. Commissioner.
Chloe: Or us. May we leave now?
Fire: Fine. Just stay...available.
Edra: Only one of us is available...right now.
Chloe: And that condition shouldn’t last long.
Fire: (Sighing) Get out of my office.
(S&M exits the commissioner’s office. They walk toward their accommodations hand in hand as the scene fades)
Agrius is doing some pullups off of a large exposed pipe backstage before dropping down in front of Mai Muyo.
Mai: Careful, you could rip those out of the wall.
Agrius: I had a similar concern, but the structural integrity seemed quite sound. Do we have business?
Mai: Two things. Mai extends her hand to Agrius.
Mai: First, congratulations on Wednesday. I didn't think anyone had a chance at beating me in my first match post-tag team, even the mountain man. Agrius shakes her hand, though appears quizzical.
Agrius: I expected you to react in anger, as you often do. Mai: Hard to be angry at a loss when a man your size hits a flying crossbody.
Agrius: Ah yes. The springboard moonsault footstomp did not go quite as well. Perhaps I need to observe Zed more.
Mai: Ai-yah. I think you can know your own limits on that one.
Agrius: What was your second piece of business? Mai: Kylie. I like her. I think Beverly does too.
Agrius: By all appearances, that is correct. I have no opinion on the subject myself.
Mai: I also know a lot about Kylie. And I think Beverly does too.
Agrius: Beverly has a great deal of knowledge about many of her competitors. Mai: Here's the deal, Agrius. I don't like The Awakening, I don't like how you conduct yourselves, I don't like your gang mentality, I don't like the influence you have on this company. But I think there's a difference between my brother Junichiro and the rest of you.
Agrius: What difference do you posit?
Mai: I think the rest of you think your bad acts are justified. Even the Sisters, who talk about sin and pain all the time - I think they believe they're often in the right, justified by others' disrespect. Junichiro is under no such illusion. Even when he pretends to be, it's all lawyerly garbage. Sophie-stree.
Agrius: Sophistry.
Mai: Right, thanks.
Agrius: Why does this distinction matter?
Mai: Because I think there are things that you and Beverly would never do that my brother might. Things that would shatter your illusion of being in the right. The information Beverly has on Kylie could never be used for an advantage in the ring. But it could be used to hurt her for fun. So I am asking you, nicely, to make sure my brother never has access to that information.
Agrius: Why are you telling me this, rather than Beverly? I do not keep her files.
Mai: I don't think I'm telling you anything Beverly doesn't already know and believe. But I also think the day might come where my brother tries to work around Beverly, and if he does, I am certain he will try to use you. Don't let him.
Agrius: . . . To the extent that your request does not override my directives, I shall consider it.
Mai: Thank you. (Pause.) This is a big bet on my part.
Agrius: That I will listen to you?
Mai: No. That Junichiro, rather than Beverly, is the dangerous one.
BRICK~!: Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.
SFJ #87: Ouch.
BRICK~!: Are there any questions you do want the answers to?
SFJ #87: Yeah. Your super-hot client got her ass kicked by Christian Carter.
BRICK~!: WRONG.
SFJ #87: She did!
BRICK~!: Wrong. Not once, not once, did either of his feet come in contact with either of her glutes. You know, I'm really sick of the lying, dishonest media.
SFJ #87: Let me guess. You're going to tweet about me?
BRICK~!: If the press would cover me accurately & honorably, I would have far less reason to "tweet." Sadly, I don't know if that will ever happen!
SFJ #87: BRICK~!, you're such a whiner.
BRICK~!: What? I wasn't saying that to you. I was just reading it.
BRICK~!: What I was going to say to you is that there's actually an important point behind the LMH Scale - which, by the way, we're trademarking, copyrighting, patenting, whatever, you can't use it, it was my idea.
SFJ #87: And that point is?
BRICK~!: The management of this company - I could say many of them are very incompetent, but I won't say that - the management - also crooked, but we won't get into that - the management has to think about who it wants representing the company. Frankly, I'm not a big fan of Beverly, but she and Lindsay are exactly where the money is. Beautiful women who kick ass. It's Wonder Woman, it's Ronda Rousey before she got exposed, it's "Nasty Women," which is going to survive a lot longer than the Clinton campaign, by the way, great slogan.
Now we've got a guy who thinks he's gonna come back, talk tough, call women bitches and hookers, rehash 1990s ECW, and take over the company again. Give me a break. How is that face - and I mean that face, and also that mouth - going to represent us on Jimmy Fallon? What is Christian Carter going to do when we're up against an NBA Finals game for ratings? What is Christian Carter going to do for our veterans--our veterans, who have been so badly mistreated, and by the way, Lindsay is making sure that turns around 100%. She prefers to keep her charity private, but believe you, she's doing great things, big league. And mind you, not only are we not taking care of our vets, but our health care in general is a total mess, no one knows what's going on--
SFJ #87: Can you wrap this up into an actual point?
BRICK~! thinks for a moment, and takes the microphone from the SFJ, looking straight into the camera.
BRICK~!: Christian Carter may have come out of retirement. But it doesn't change the fact that he's history.
SFJ #87: . . .
BRICK~!: . . .
SFJ #87: That was pretty good.
BRICK~!: Good? That was gold. Take this mic, I have to tweet it.
Matt: All due respect Erin, you can save your breath. I've said all I'm going to say about Christian Carter or Royalty.
SFJ12: It's not about either one of those subjects.
Matt: Alright then, fire away.
SFJ12: Just wondering what you think about your match this Wednesday against Zed. General Manager Nate says this could be a potential Match Of The Year Contender.
Matt: When the hell did he say that?
SFJ12: I have confirmed with a highly placed source that he said it privately.
Matt: Wow, no pressure there. Anyway, I have nothing against Zed. He's one hell of a wrestler and I'm excited to face him.
SFJ12: Is that it?
Matt: Pretty much.
SFJ12: Alright, thanks for your time I guess.
SFJ12 begins to walk away as Matt pauses and thinks for a moment.
Matt: Hey, hold up a second.
SFJ12 walks back.
SFJ12: Yes?
Matt: Thought of some more I want to say, if you'll allow me to ramble for a minute.
SFJ12: I swear if this is about your football team again, we'll fade out right now.
Matt: Well, I am upset about Wisconsin shitting the bed completely in the second half, but that's not what I wanted to say. Facing Zed this week made me think of something.
SFJ12: What?
Matt: I just wanted to give a shout out to the PHENOMENAL young talent we have in this company. Both Zed and Mac remind me so much of Danny Taylor that it's a little scary. Not so much the same ring style, but in terms of being great wrestlers and even better people outside the ring. Mac, apologies for missing your victory party but if you knew anything about the history between Christian Carter and I then you know that Jaime and I both had a ton of shit on our minds that night. Congratulations on your victory, you NEVER forget your first singles Championship believe me.
Speaking of Champions, I know that as a face I shouldn't be saying this and I'm not a fan of the people she associates with, but I'm actually a huge fan of Beverly Cambridge. Great great wrestler and she's a true student as well. She learns something from every match and never makes the same mistake twice, I can respect that. Kylie Mignolio, I haven't yet had the pleasure of spending much time with you and I'm sure that's my loss indeed. I can see enormous talent in you and am very excited to see what happens in the future. Mari Anna, I didn't always see eye to eye with your husband but I always had respect for him. If he taught you even half of what he knows, you're going to be a handful. Welcome to the company. My sister in law Lindsay, again I disagree with her choice of associates, but no one can deny her talent. Even someone like Shizuru-mune Mangyuniku who I thought was a total joke at first, I'm not going to call him a great wrestler yet, but you can see him improving every week. And then there's Miranda Williams, who you may not think of belonging in the group I just mentioned because she's been around for 3 years now and is well established. But and I just thought about this last night: SHE'S ONLY 22 YEARS OLD!!! I mean, just think about that, that's incredible. With everyone I just mentioned, this company is in amazing shape for the next 10-15 years.
SFJ12: I notice you didn't mention The 24 Hour Party People or Nick Fleming, any thoughts on them?
Matt: All I'll say about my 'partners' last week is that they're damn lucky they didn't pull that shit 5 years ago. If they had, they'd both be in intensive care right now, believe that.
SFJ12: And Nick Fleming?
Matt: You know, I've seen him promoing for months now. Complaining about his contract, proclaiming himself the best wrestler who's ever lived, bitching about the towns we go to, etc and I've thought about responding. But then I thought "Nah.....he ain't worth my time" I will say one thing though, I'm eagerly awaiting the day Mr Greatest Wrestler Alive is booked against LD Williams. Oh I'll be eagerly watching that one because then Nicholas you'll learn...and painfully I might add... who the best wrestler in this company really is. Oh, and if there's anything left of you after that, I'll be more than happy to show you who the second best is.
FADE in on the OOWF interview area, today set up... right here... in Toropets, Russia! (cheap pop)
Standing there with a mic and no interviewer, is Nick Fleming.
“OOWF Universe, I want to take a minute to respond to the comments of one Matthew Folz. I welcome the chance one day to face the great LD Williams in that ring. Mr. Williams is a great wrestler. His mental acumen is somewhat suspicious these days as he’s talking to, and thinking he receives a response from, an elephant. Too many chair shots to the head, I would suspect.
“I watched bootlegged tapes of LD Williams. I learned a copious amount of aptitude from those tapes. So, Mr. Folz, I welcome the chance to meet Mr. Williams some day.
“Now, Mr. Folz, about facing you. I’ve watched your matches too. To place your own abilities in the same sentence as Mr. Williams is an insult to Mr. Williams. You, sir, are no LD Williams. Please, do not make yourself seem more imprudent by comparing yourself to him.
“Now, I never claimed that I’m the best wrestler alive. I might consider LD Williams or AJ Styles the best quote-unquote wrestler alive. But I consider myself to be a master tactician in that squared circle. And there is no one shrewder than I am in that ring. I’d be delighted to provide you a demonstration at your earliest convenience.
"Assuming you have the intestinal fortitude to step up. As always, it’s been your pleasure.”
"There's an old saying lad. What doesn't kill ya… usually succeeds in a second attempt." - Eugene Krabs, Spongebob Squarepants (S05E20 "Banned in Bikini Bottom")
Ecosystem is coming back to his hotel after a jog when he is approached by Renata Younger.
Renata: Juni, a quick word.
Eco: Sure. Let's make it "kumquat."
Renata: You had a tough loss to Dre Gaines this past week, and now he's facing off against your Chosen One, Beverly Cambridge, for her World Championship. How are you thinking about preparing her for this match after you came up short last week?
Eco: Let me tell you what I think about Dre Gaines.
Pause.
Renata: Are you going to-
Eco: The point is that I don't think about Dre Gaines.
Renata: That's ridiculous, you were going after him so personally just a few weeks ago--
Eco: To make a point. And that point was this. He's an embarrassment to his family, a minstrel act who couldn't draw a dime if I loaned him a pen and a stencil, and no fluke win is going to change that.
Renata: Wow, you really hate this guy.
Eco: Look, I'm not saying that I hate Dre Gaines. I'm just saying that if he was on life support, I would pull the plug to charge my phone.
Renata: Ouch.
Eco: My backup phone.
Renata: That's a little much.
Eco: When it's already at 80%. In case I want to stream video on my run.
Renata: I think you're being a little hyperbolic.
Eco: Well, when Beverly sends that sack of shit to the emergency room tomorrow night, we'll get to find out. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a tag team match to prepare for.