[Road Warrior Shark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (Show 811)
Val Marie, Saskatchewan
July 12, 2017

OOWF World Title Match
Mai Muyo (C) vs. Moosehead Jack

World Tag Team Title Match
Beer Money (C) vs. Texpress

Onslaught Title Match
Kylie Mignolio (C) vs. Shannon Mann

Non-Title Match
Jack Bullet vs. Ecosystem

Winner Challenges for the Intercontinental Title at Mid Summer Nights Scream
Beverly Cambridge vs. Mac Flasher

Sizzlechest Invitational

Zed vs. Miranda Williams
Darling Twins vs. LD Williams & Matt Folz
Stank vs. Bridget O'Malley
Ghosthead & Nick Fleming vs. Banned From Everywhere


Card Subject to Correctly Spelling Saskatchewan

[Leo]

Sexy Female Journalist Ichiban stands under the OOWF banner. Jack Bullet enters the interview position with pieces of his smashed trophy in hand. He throws them disgustedly on the ground. He then grabs the back of his aching head. Bullet speaks before Ichiban can ask a question.

JB: Ecosystem wants to wake the sleeping lion. Well, he's woke. This doesn't have anything to do with Eco disrespecting me, my trophy or the IC Title. This is about him disrespecting the OOWF fans. He might be the CEO of this company, but the people out there are the reason it exists. For two weeks in a row, he's gone out in that ring with a bag of tricks and no intention of putting on a real wrestling match. So, I'm not mad for myself anymore, I'm mad for them.

Bullet removes his hand from the back of his hand and points into the camera.

JB: So, next week, I want Eco one more time in that ring. No titles on the line, no trophies to smash. I'm not bringing my flag, I'm not bringing Ellsworth the eagle and I'm not bringing this title belt that says I'm a winner and you're not. I'm bringing just two things next week that will prove that we're all winners.

He holds up two fists to the cameras.

JB: That's the people's right hand of steel and the people's left hand of stone. Because, I guarantee you this Eco, if the right one won't get you, then the left one will.

Bullet stalks off as the scene fades.

[DrMcAwesome]

*an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA sees BRIDGET O’MALLEY throwing objects around in her locker room as MAC FLASHER arrives to check on her well-being. KYLIE MIGNOLIO is also with MAC, much to BRIDGET’s chagrin*

BRIDGET: “Mac. If you don’t want to see a fight, I’d suggest that you ask Kylie to exit this conversation.”

MAC: “Anything you say to me, you can say to …”

KYLIE (butting in): “What gives? I beat you. Are you upset that I submitted you? We kept it fair. I was just the better wrestler tonight.”

BO’M: “Fair? Fair isn’t not letting go of a choke after getting a tap. I thought you weren’t trying to end careers. I kept my end, I didn’t make this about Mac. What did you do? You tried to injure me when I was unable to defend myself.”

KM: “You tapped? Could have fooled me. I let go as soon as I heard a bell. Not my fault that you wasted your energy to stand me up in that choke.”

BO’M: “Oh. Come off it! You choked me out, then you wanted to go Zed on me and keep that choke on long after I was out.”

KM: “Listen! Zed choked you when you were already unconscious. I held that choke for what … Two seconds after this alleged tap?”

*MAC is reviewing the video on his iPhone and sees a very faint tap on Kylie’s shoulder before official DAVIS HIGHTOWER signaled for a bell*

MF: “Ladies! Bridget is right. She tapped. Kylie is right. She likely never felt the tap. Stop this bickering, already. If Kylie is out to end careers, you’d know it. Bridget … Maybe tap a bit harder next time if you get caught in a choke.”

BO’M: “And there’s the Mac ‘Switzerland’ Flasher that we all know and love. Can’t commit to a side, so he plays the neutrality card. Do me a favor, Mac. Leave so Kylie and I can settle this properly.”

MF: “Excuse me? Settle this properly? What is this really about? The match or something deeper.”

KM: “Obviously she can't handle that I beat her when this was her big chance to impress you.”

BO’M: “THIS WASN'T ABOUT MAC!”

*BRIDGET charges toward KYLIE only to collide with an intercepting MAC and send him crashing head first into the remnants of a bench. MAC is knocked unconscious and busted open as BRIDGET is mortified at what she has done*

BO’M: “Oh my God. Mac … I’m so …”

KM: “The hell with apologies. Get some help!”

BO’M: “Kylie … I …”

KM: “GET THE HELP”

*BRIDGET exits to find medical help while KYLIE tends to MAC as the scene fades*

[Chris Eco]

Mai Muyo is riding a skateboard and wearing Bret Hart sunglasses. She rides up to the Saints of Sinners dressing room door, and knocks over and over. The door swings open to reveal . . . LD Williams.

Mai: Billy Dee! How's it hanging?

LDW: . . . You do not get to call me that.

Mai: . . . Señor Encantador de Los Elefantes?

LDW: . . .

Mai: . . .

LDW: . . . Look, just tell me if this is one of those days where you're showing up to fight all of us at once, or if you just need Jack.

Mai: Just Jack.

LDW: Great. (calls back) Hey Jack! Girl Scouts for you!

MHJ: (walking to the door, grumbling) I don't need cookies, and certainly not --

Mai: Hi.

MHJ: . . . So. Here we are. Now that I embarrassed you, you want the real championship back and not your little toy. Well, if you want to come take it, little girl, then here--

Mai: Actually, I'm not here to take anything from you. I'm here to give you something you want.

MHJ: Like what?

Mai: I just spoke with my brother, and I asked him to give you a World Championship match against me next week. You earned it.

Moosehead Jack raises his eyebrow.

MHJ: And he said . . .

Mai: He said to make you an offer. You can either take the championship match, or you can flip this coin. (Mai pulls out a coin.) It comes up heads, you get the championship match AND your match against Alexander Darling. It comes up tails, you lose both.

MHJ: (snarls) Give me that.

Moose snatches the coin, but Mai holds his hand.

Mai: I would check that coin first.

Moose inspects the coin. Both sides appear to be identical.



Moose throws the coin away in anger.

Mai: Look, all I'm saying is that it's not clear to me why you hate Alexander more than you hate my brother.

MHJ: Are we done here?

Mai: Well, I was hoping we'd wrap up with a handshake.

MHJ: . . .

Mai: Maybe prefaced by a short speech from you where you say how you never liked me, but you respect my being a fighting champion, and maybe you even regret pulling the tights to win this past week, but you'll make it up to me by giving my championship back if I win this--

Moosehead Jack slams the door on Mai.

Mai: (yelling after Moosehead Jack) That was marginally less than I hoped for!!

FADE

[kimmieg1231]

(Medical)

Kylie: (in a chair at Mac's side, holding his hand) Enough already Bridget.

Bridget: I'm just..

Kylie: Either sit down or leave. Your pacing is making everyone nuts. This isn't about you. Or Us. Mac is still unconscious.

Bridget: And you think it's my fault.

Kylie: (looks at her) I'm not blaming anyone.

Bridget But you think it.

Kylie: You over reacted. You went nuts on me. You knocked him down. Do the math. Than get over it. You are making issues there aren't any in hopes of getting your way. I'm not doing things like that. Mac is too important to me. All I want is his happiness. So sit down or get out.

Bridget: I'm still his health care...(Kylie cuts her off)

Kylie: No. Actually you are not. Neither of us is. In light of recent events Mac changed it. To the one person he knew wouldn't be swayed by ...anything.

Bridget: What? Who?

Kylie: Mai Muyo. (with that Kylie falls silent and turns her attention back to Mac)

(Bridget, silent for now, sits on the other side of the room)

[Zed]

BRICK~! walks down a hallway and sees Zed standing against a wall, watching a nearby television ... smiling? Happy?

B: ... Zed?

Z: *exuberantly* Yes, BRICK~!?

B: ... Is ... everything okay?

Z: Okay? It's great! Everything's just great! You know what I love?

B: Winning?

Z: Well, yes, but do you know what else?

B: The state of North Carolina?

Z: ... Sometimes. One more guess.

B: Finally getting your World Championship rematch?

Z: That too! But no, above all of that, I love being right. Especially when everyone tells me I'm wrong!

B: I don't follow.

Z: Have you seen promos for the past week?

B: I have.

Z: Are you watching the soap opera unfolding before us from our wonderful heroes, the New Kids?!

B: I am actually trying not to. Pretty nauseating.

Z: It is, I'll admit! But what have I said ever since we learned 37 actually had a name?

B: That you wouldn't actually call her by that name?

Z: Yes, and that she's totally got a thing for Mac.

B: Oh, right!

Z: And look what we have now! And of course, Mac is claiming total innocence.

B: He's a very pure snowflake.

Z: Abso-fucking-lutely! He'd never cheat on Kylie!

B: Most certainly not.

Z: And now the poor guy, with all the trauma and emotional distress he's going through, had to go to medical because the two loves of his life are fighting over him!

B: Because it's not a good soap opera without an overly dramatic hospital scene.

Z: I wonder which one is in the will?

B: You have to watch next week, Zed!

Z: I just don't know if I can wait that long to find out how much more of a fraud the New Kids can be!

B: This generation is totally spoiled by binge-watching Netflix. Nobody respects a slow burn anymore.

Z: You mean like making me wait three months for - you know what, no. I'm not going to focus on Junichiro's incompetence right now. I'm just going to bask in this moment of proving to OOWF fans I was right about their heroes.

B: How much longer are you planning on doing that?

Z: *checks watch* ... I'm thinking 17 minutes and 48 seconds.

B: *pulls out phone to check the time* I'll ... uh ... see you in catering afterwards?

Z: Sounds great, BRICK~!!

BRICK~! walks away, leaving a beaming Zed alone in the hallway as we FADE.

[L!zz~]

(Beverly is walking down a hallway and sees Zed. Wondering what he is doing, she joins him in leaning against the wall. As he watches the LIVE feed of Mac in the hospital with the two women there, she sighs)

Zed: You knew.

Bev: Of course I knew.

Zed: But you didn't tell your sister.

Bev: Would she have believed me any more than she believed you?

Zed: No.

Bev: It is pretty comical.

Zed: Well, we needed a new love story.

Bev: Did we really?

Zed: (shrugs)

Bev: Well, it's better than Twilight.

(Zed chuckles. The two share a fist bump and Beverly walks off, rummaging in her bag)

[Zed]

Ecosystem sits in his office, going through some very important paperwork, when there is a heavy knock on the door.

E: Either that's BRICK~! or a very angry Quinn.

The door opens to reveal BRICK~!, who makes way to allow Zed entrance first before following.

E: I suppose I should be relieved.

Z: Today, yes. I just wanted to have a chat, that's all.

E: Our chats haven't been very cordial lately.

Z: Are you saying I have been a pain in your ass?

E: I'm not saying that.

Z: Good, because -

E: - I am, however -

Z: - Fuck me.

E: - Strongly implying it.

Z: Too bad you're losing to Fleming for catchphrase of the year. Anyways, I actually came out of great concern.

E: Concern?

Z: Yes, I'm terribly concerned, Eco. So concerned I am actually calling you Eco instead of referring to you as Junichiro in a condescending fashion.

E: You've gotten very good at referring to people in a condescending fashion lately. I quite like it.

Z: I was afraid of that. But seriously, I just, you know, saw that Mac changed his primary contact for medical.

E: It's not like you to be concerned about him.

Z: *scoffs* Ha! No, not concerned about him at all. I'm concerned about you.

E: Me?

Z: Yes! I just ... I was ... I mean, I'm sure this is all covered by healthy privacy laws and such, and I hate to prod -

E: - For the love of fuck, Zed, get it on with it.

Z: - Are you Mai's first contact?

E: ... Yes?

Z: Right! Because you are her brother and all. Totally makes sense.

E: You ask because?

Z: You're familiar with the Binding of Isaac, right?

E: I'm usually pretty good at following these roundabout conversations.

Z: It's a yes or no question.

E: Yes?

Z: Right.

E: ...

Z: ...

E: ...

Z: ... you don't see it?

E: What am I seeing? *looks to BRICK~!* Did you put him up to this?

B: I was only here to knock on the door menacingly.

E: Well, I was afraid you were a Quinn.

Z: HEY! Focus.

E: ON WHAT?!?!

Z: *laughs* You, Junichiro -

E: - There it is -

Z: - You are Abraham. And as it stands right now, you have placed your "Isaac", your own flesh and blood, your sister Mai Muyo, on the altar, for the main event of Mid Summer Night's Scream.

E: Are you actually implying you are God?

Z: Not at all. It frankly doesn't matter in this analogy if I'm God or not. It only matters that you have placed your sister's life in my hands, over something I have wanted for a very ... very ... very long time. And I don't intend on bringing a sacrificial ram with me to Emo, Ontario.

The room falls silent for a bit, and the seriousness intensifies as Zed and Eco stare each other down.

E: Are you actually threatening me right now?

Z: No, sir. Just your sister. But good news! Act today you can play God, provide a substitute sacrifice with the proper credentials - preferably a belt that don't have ponies on it - and your sister will be free from harm!

E: If you think for one second I'm going to let you dictate -

Z: - I'm not dictating, sir. I'm not picky. I just wanted you to know your options, that's all. For your sake. And your sister's.

And on that, Zed turns to walk away, leaving the room with BRICK~! in tow. FADE.

[Jack Quinn]

<Zed and Brick walks out of Juni's office, and Zed is IMMEDIATELY slammed upside the head with HDBIV! He falls to the floor and Moose is immediately on him hammering him with punches to the face. Zed fights to his feet and the two of them trade shots for a moment, with BRICK encouraging him. Then Stank, LD Williams, Matt Folz and 13 show up, LD and Folz hold Brick, while Stank SLAMS a chair down onto Zed's head, dropping him to the ground. Moose covers, and a referee appears......

ONE......TWO......THREE! WINNER AND NEW DDT IRON MAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION - Moosehead Jack1

......the referee hands Moose the title and disappears. Moose slings the title over his shoulder and 13 hands him the OOWF World Heavyweight title....>

MHJ: Looks like I am not the gnarliest double champion in the OOWF. <kneels next to Zed> Nothing personal kid, but you don't need this anymore. Perhaps if you chose your company more carefully, this wouldn't have happened

<Moose stands up and the Saints head back to the Destroyitarium, and we fade>

[Zed]

OOC: Sizzle had taken that belt from Zed in Nevada during the show and it didn't get updated. When I get home from work this evening I'll replace this with some kind of flashback to put it on Zed so Moose doesn't have to alter his promo, unless someone has a better idea.

[Chris Eco]

OOC: I have a better idea!

Eco is back to work in his office, when he hears yelling and clanging outside.

Eco: I don't want to look, I don't want to look.

Voice: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A HERO! HELP HIM!

Eco: Ugh, that sounds like liability.

Eco shuffles his way out and finds Mai Muyo sitting on the ground cross-legged, stroking Zed's head on the ground as he groans and BRICK~! berates her.

BRICK~!: Zed got jumped, and she's doing NOTHING! Tell her she's supposed to be a hero! Fake Hero! Sad!

Eco sits down by Mai.

Mai: I feel like I should do something about this . . .

Eco: Yeah?

Mai: . . . but somehow, I'm just not feeling inspired.

Eco: Makes sense.

BRICK~!: MAKES SENSE?

Eco: Who did this?

Mai: Three guesses, first two don't count.

Eco: Okay, why did Moose do this?

BRICK~!: To take the DDT Championship.

Eco: . . . But Shizzlechest has that championship.

BRICK~!: I know!

Eco: Like, I have him defend it on Mayhem every week.

BRICK~!: I KNOW!

Eco: So the championship Moose has . . .

Mai: Is worth as much as the World Championship Moose has.

Eco: Huh. Who told Moose that Zed had the DDT Championship?

BRICK~!: I have no idea--

Eco: Oh wait, no, I did.

BRICK~!: WHAT?!

Eco: Hear me out.

BRICK~!: . . .

Mai: . . .

Eco: I thought it was funny . . .

BRICK~!: . . .

Mai: . . .

Eco: . . . so I did it.

Zed: YOU!

Zed wakes up briefly for a moment, swings his leg up and kicks Eco in the head. Eco flops down.

Mai: Huh. I feel like I should do something about that . . .

BRICK~!: Yeah?

Mai: . . . but somehow, I'm just not feeling inspired.

FADE

[Jack Quinn]

***OOC***

Oops, sorry about that, this is what I get for not paying attention

[Jack Quinn]

<we see Moose stagger out of the back of the Destroyitarium, head straight to the bar, grab a bottle of whiskey and drink deeply. After a few seconds he opens his eyes and sees 13 doing some bookkeeping then notices the OOWF World Heavyweight title and and a replica of the old AWA title on the counter top. Moose picks up the AWA replica and looks at it with confusion>

MHJ: The fuck is this?

13: THAT is the OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal title

MHJ: No, it isn't

13: No, it is not, but you thought it was last night

MHJ: <taking another drink> I thought I attacked Zed last night and won the DDT title?

13: I don't doubt for a second that you THOUGHT you did, but you didn't

MHJ: Then.......

13: The ring crew guys have a title they pass around, after they set up the ring they have some "matches" to make sure the ring is properly set up

MHJ: Oh. Wait, though, Billy Dee, Folz and Lucas were all there too!

13: No, LD turned in for the night, Lucas is in Atlanta and Folz and Jamie went out

MHJ: So then who WAS there to help me?

13: You kept calling a large potted plant Lucas, one stack of crates LD and a pile of pallets Folz, they weren't there

MHJ: <drinking again> So.......let me get this right, for some reason I attacked a ring crew guy to win a fake title and thought a potted plant, a stack of crates and a pile of pallets were the Saints?

13: Sounds about right

MHJ: Fire is probably going to be pissed that I attacked the ring crew guy

13: Well, it wasn't ENTIRELY your fault

MHJ: It wasn't?

13: No, Eco told you the ring crew guy was Zed and that he still had the DDT title

MHJ: Why the fuck would I listen to Eco?

<13 raises her eyebrows and looks at the bottle in Jack's hand>

MHJ: <watching the promo with Mai> What about that?

13: Footage from OOWF 2K17, the new game, looks amazingly real doesn't it?

MHJ: It's damn impressive. So......who IS the DDT champion?

13: Sizzlechest

MHJ: I hate that guy

13: I know.

MHJ: I'm gonna drink some more until this thunder in my head stops

13: <grabbing a bottle and pouring Moose another drink> Good idea

<fade>

[Leo]

"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet is filming a series of promos with Ellsworth the Eagle at the OOWF offices. Sizzlechest Manbeef runs into the studio, locks the door and pushes a couch in front of it.

Manbeef turns and is relieved to see Jack Bullet. "You must hide Sizzlechest. Sizzlechest need help."

Bullet grows concern and tells the camera and sound guys to take a break. "I said I'd always help you," Bullet states. "What's wrong."

"Moosehead Jack get drunk and beat ring crew guy he thought Zed," Manbeef says in his broken English. "Moosehead think he win DDT Iron Man Belt back, but he not. I have it. Now he wake from nap and want to kill me, kill me until dead."

Sizzlechest holds the belt out to Jack with a puppy dog pout.

"Look, I'm done with that crazy thing," Bullet says while waving his hand to dismiss the situation. "I never knew how the rules worked. Far as I understand, you could drop the strap to that potted plant over there or even Ellsworth."

Sizzlechest gets a smile across his face. He then puts his fingers in his ears and sticks his tongue out at Ellsworth. "Hey, you stupid bird. You bald, get Rogaine."

Ellsworth shrieks and attacks Manbeef, clawing at his scalp. Junior Hale appears out of nowhere.

"I submit, I submit," Manbeef screams. He then tosses the DDT Title Belt into the air and Ellsworth takes it in his talons.

Winner and NEW OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion: Ellsworth the Eagle

At that moment, the door explodes off its hinges and the couch goes flying across the room. Mooshead Jack stands in the doorway with his leg still up from where he kicked the door down.

"Prepare to die, Sizzlechest. Die until you're dead," Moosehead roars.

Sizzlechest goes into a crouch and covers his head. "Sizzlechest not champion. He lose to eagle. Eagle champion."

With that, Ellsworth gives a squawk and flies out the door with the belt in his claws. Moosehead points a finger at Bullet.

"Jack, I don't know if eagle tastes like chicken, but I'm about to find out," Moosehead yells. MJ then charges out the door after Ellsworth.

[Jack Quinn]

Jul 10, 2017 14:00:19 GMT -5 Leo said:

"Prepare to die, Sizzlechest. Die until you're dead," Moosehead roars.

This made me laugh. Well done sir!

[Chris Eco]

Ecosystem walks in to the palatial Beer Money locker room, where we find Skurge and The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth WATCHING~! as SYB does push-ups.

SYB: . . . 98 . . . 99 . . . 100~!

SYB gets up, self-satisfied, as Ecosystem looks him up and down quizzically.

Eco: . . . Really?

TLATDM: No, of course not.

Skurge: He started at 95.

SYB: Hey! I could have started at 96. But we have a championship match.

Eco: Look you three, what I'm about to say is very, very difficult--

SYB: You're gay.

Eco: . . . everyone already knows that?

Skurge: So? Tyler the Creator came out for the tenth time this week.

TLATDM: You know who Tyler the Creator is?

Skurge: I'm hip to the kids.

Eco: LOOK! The point is, as much as it pains me to say it . . . you two are the only champions I like at all right now.

SYB: Because we're so sexually attractive to you.

Eco: . . . Yeah, that's it.

SYB flexes, but then holds his bicep in pain.

SYB: Think I pushed it a little hard.

Skurge: That's what she said, eh.

Eco: Look, all I'm saying is this. I'm obviously not proud of you, but I tolerate you, and that's more than I can say for Texpress. If you need anything from me this week . . . let me know.

Skurge: Are you propositioning us?

Eco turns to The Lovely And Talented Dorothy Mantooth.

TLATDM: You're the one who thought it would be productive to talk to all of us at once.

Eco: Just give me your cell phone.

SYB: Swing both ways, eh?


FADE

[Sportsguy]

We fade in to the Saints locker room and see Matt Folz watching the All Star Game. 13 comes up to him.

13: Is this a bad time?

Matt: No no, please. Anything to distract me from the fact that Joe Buck inexplicably still is employed.

13: Any comment on your and LD's match tomorrow against the Darlings?

Matt: Actually, before I get to that: I don't usually give shout outs to fans because, you know, fuck em. But there's a guy in Big Lake Texas named Chad Aaron. He's the official OOWF statistician and historian and he does a damn great job at it. His son got married over the weekend and I'd like to pass on my congratulations to him and his family.

13: Well said. Now any comments on the Darlings?

Matt: "Time is a flat circle."

13: Huh?

Matt: It's a line from the first and ...with all due respect to Regina George and Tim Riggins... only season worth watching of True Detective. And it somewhat applies here. Because here I am once a fucking gain going up against Alexander Darling. Now I'm not comparing our history to the history between him and Moose. Less history, less bloodshed, slightly....SLIGHTLY less hate. But I really haven't liked that arrogant son of a bitch since the day I joined the company. And it goes allllllll the way back to the day I turned on him during War Games. Do you know what upsets me the most though?

13: What?

Matt: I never thought I'd say this when it comes to Darling, but the silence. Come on man, I'm not worthy of your oh so witty comments anymore? No "Matt Folz is the biggest underachiever in the history of this company"? No "Matt Folz couldn't draw flies if you rolled him in shit"? Not even your former number one smash hit "Matt Folz is a loser and will always be one because I beat him one time in his hometown"? But let's forget about all that for now. Let's talk about more recent history. Now 13, I know you weren't with the company for a majority of their time, but do you remember Royalty?

13: I do.

Matt: Do you know who ended them?

13: Alex and Alexis will claim that they did when they left Carter to the wolves.

Matt: That's technically true. They did officially kill the dried out remains of the stable, but I was talking about the day Royalty effectively ended. The day they lost all semblance of credibility. Do you know when that was?

13: I believe it was September 27, 2015.

Matt: You know your shit, good for you. And who was it who LEAD the team who defeated them?

13: That would be you.

Matt: Correct. And coincidentally Moose and Stank were also on that team, funny how that works huh? Now, I got another question for you. When was the last time Alexander Darling was even remotely relevant in this company?

13: The last time he was World Heavyweight Champion.

Matt: You're on a roll 13. One more for you, who was it that ended the last championship reign of his?

13: That would also be you.

Matt: You're goddamn right it was. Look, Alex it's no secret that I've ALWAYS been more talented than you. But now I'm also miles more relevant to this company as well. That's why outside of Moose Absolutely no one gave a shit either way when you were gone. Now tomorrow night LD and myself are not going to end your career, we've already promised that Moose gets that honor. But we will absolutely embarrass you and your sister in that ring. That's not a prediction, that's a goddamn fact.

13: Thank you for your time Matt.

Matt: For you 13? Any time.

13 leaves the room as we hear Matt screaming at the television.

Matt: HOW CAN YOU BE THE SON OF ONE OF THE MOST LEGENDARY ANNOUNCERS OF ALL TIME AND INHERIT ABSOLUTELY NONE OF HIS TALENT!! I'd call you the David Flair of announcing but that'd be an insult to David Flair.

FADE

[Chris Eco]

Mai is watching Matt Folz's pre-show promo on the monitor. She smiles and laughs despite herself as the promo closes on Matt cursing out the television.

Mai: It's good to know some things don't change, Matt.

Mai turns toward the camera.

Mai: If there's one thing I learned from Matt Folz, it's that wins and losses matter. It matters who has their hand raised. It matters who holds the championships. Reputation, history, legacy . . . that all deserves attention. But the World Champion demands attention.

Moosehead Jack has done almost everything he can do to demand attention. Assault wrestlers backstage. Take the physical championship for himself. Beat me in a non-title match.

There's only one thing left for him to do. And if he does it, if he earns the championship he has stolen and earns the attention he craves, there will be no excuses from me.

But if I win?

If I win, he can carry my championship as long as he wants.

But he will have to carry it a little bit lower. Puff his chest out a little bit less. Because a crown does not make a king.

Mai picks up her Mai Little Pony Championship, and spins the Hello Kitty decal.

Mai: (smiling) Behold your Queen.

FADE

[Jack Quinn]

<Moose sees Mai's promo, takes a drink, lights another cigar and blows a cloud of smoke>

Mai, it is cute that you think this is about the world title. You couldn't possibly be more wrong. This is about something much, much larger. The world title, and for that matter you, are nothing more than a pawn in a much larger game. You see Mai, I didn't take this title solely to hurt you, I know how you work, I know you are devoted to shiny trinkets, otherwise you wouldn't have gone and made your own title. I took the title to prove a point. I took what I wanted and will continue to do so, until I get what I want.

No Mai, tonight, win or lose, you have already lost, you exposed yourself as a vain attention whore, you ridicule me for stealing the title, but it seems to me you lack the confidence to persevere without the ten pounds of shiny around your waist. Quite the example to all the little girls out there, aren't you?

Tonight we take another step in the dance. A dance that is out of your control.

Trust me

[Sportsguy]

Backstage in the Saints locker room right before the show.

Moose: You know I'm going to hurt her, right?

Matt: That's a given going into any of your matches, I'm not sure you had to say that.

Moose: Are you alright with that? Given the history between you and her....

Matt: Look, I love her like a sister and I always will. But I gave her several outs and she didn't take any of them. She made her choice and she'll have to live with it. You don't have to question my loyalty to the Saints.

Moose nods.

Moose: That's what I'd thought you'd say. Good luck out there.

Matt: You too Champ.

FADE

[Road Warrior Shark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (Show 811)
Val Marie, Saskatchewan
July 12, 2017

Ghosthead & Nick Fleming vs. Banned From Everywhere

Nick and Ghost make separate entrances, which bothers Firewoman. She leads her charges to the ring next. Justin and Fleming start off, and quickly, Nick has Justin in a bad way. Fleming slams him to the mat and reaches for a tag, but Ghost is instead climbing the turnbuckles. He leaps off, and Fleming has to roll to avoid getting hit. Ghost stomps Justin, and he and Fleming exchange glances. Justin wriggles free and tags in Bill

Ghosthed and Bill lock up and Bill powers Ghost back into the corner. Bill pops Fleming, who gtets drawn in. The referee herds him back out of the ring, and Bill uses the time to slam Ghost and set him up for the Whasssap Bomb. Justin Nails him with the headbutt and Ghost rolls to his corner... no Fleming. Nick is on the floor antagonizing some fans. Ghost turns and gets nailed by a charge from Bill. Ghost turns a stunner into a Sliced Bread #2 and crawls to tag in Fleming.

Fleming makes the tag and comes in, leveling Bill and trapping him in an abdominal stretch. Fleming follow s up with an series of uppercuts and elbows, and bill is staggering. Fleming tags Ghost and holds Bill up for a free shot... and Bill ducks! Ghost catches Fleming with the knee strike intended for Bill. Ghost and Fleming jaw at each other. Fleming slaps Ghost and leaves. Ghost turns around, and Bill has tagged in Justin, who grabs Ghosthead, HIGH RISK HEADLOCK into the turnbuckle! 1..... 2..... 3!

Your Winners (10:37) Banned From Everywhere!

BFE celebrate, while Ghost shakes the cobwebs loose and stares daggers at Fleming, who is walking calmly up the ramp.

---

Zed vs. Miranda Williams

Sorry folks, Match TBEIL? Miranda takes control at the 8 minute mark. Brick~! distracts her slightly, and Zed rolls her up and gets the 3, via a handfull of tights.

Your Winner (Pinfall; 8:37) Zed!

---

Darling Twins vs. LD Williams & Matt Folz

Before the teams take to the ring, The GM is on the stage:.

GMNC: Let's just get out in front of this one folks. We all know what is about to happen here. So instead of the inevitable, I am making this match a No Disqualification Match!

Russ: Holy Hell!
Razz: You better put that seatbelt on Russ!

With this now being a no disqualification match, the two teams drop all pretense about tagging in and out and just brawl all over the ring for the first 10 or so minutes. Alexis and LD are going at it in one corner, while in the other Matt is unloading on Alex with powerful chops. Matt rolls out of the ring, shoves the timekeeper down and takes his chair. Matt rolls back into the ring, but Alex nails him with a low blow that causes him to drop the chair. Alex quickly with a DDT onto the chair that busts Matt wide open. Alex then rolls out of the ring and grabs a chain from underneath. He wraps it around his fist and nails LD with a shot right between the eyes, then nails Lindsay McAllister as she tries to run in. Alexis drags Lindsay out of the ring and nails her former partner with a Bitch Killer right on the floor. Back in the ring, Alex nails Matt in his injured knee with the chain before applying the Darling Money Clip. Alexis rolls back in and starts stomping on Matt as Alex increases the pressure. With LD and Lindsay both incapacitated, it looks bad for Matt.... until Moose and Stank run to the ring.

Russ: What the hell are they doing? Someone get them out of there.
Razz: No disqualification remember?

Stank grabs Alexis and nails her with a Stank U. Alex releases the hold and charges at Moose, only to run right into a heart punch. Moose and Stank help Matt to his feet and he pulls Alexis into an Angle Slam. Matt smirks as he pins Alexis with one finger. 1...2...3 as the crowd boos the Saints out of the building.

Your Winners (Pinfall; 13:21) Matt Folz and LD Williams!

After the bell, Matt Stank and Moose help revive LD and Lindsay and the group starts doing additional damage to the Darlings. Finally OOWF security manages to break it up. The Saints head to the back laughing.

Razz: Notice that not one member of the roster came out to help the Darlings.
Russ: They're going to have to make some friends backstage, or this is going to be a quick and painful comeback tour.

---

Stank vs. Bridget O'Malley

Stank is out first, pacing back and forth. Bridget is out next, and as she slides under the ropes, Stank pounces. Corner avalanche. Scoop slam and a big legdrop. Stank starts pounding on the back of her neck and hits a Rude Awakening. 1..... 2..... Bridget kicks out. Stank drags her to her feet and pops her in the jaw. She recoils and dropkicks his knee. Snap DDT! Hook the leg 1..... 2..... No! Stank is furious and charges. Bridget trips him up and Stank crashes head first into the middle turnbuckle. Bridget with an double stomp to the back of his head! She wraps him in the Anaconda Vice, but Stank is too close to the corner and grabs the ropes.

Bridget pulls him back and Stank sweeps her leg. He drops a knee on her throat and kicks away. The official has to pull him back after Stank ignores a 5 count. stank shoves him aside and scoops her up for a backbreaker. Irish Whip.. BLACK HOLE SLAM! 1.... 2.... No! How is she kicking out? Stank kicks her a few more times, then pulls her up for a power bomb. Bridget shimmies down his back into a sunset Flip 1..... 2..... 3!

You Winner (Pinfall 6:38) Bridget O'Malley!

Bridget gets the three and gets the hell out of Dodge. Stank is SCREAMING at the referee and angrily tosses him aside. He overturns a couple of tables ringside and tosses a chair into the crowd! other referees and backstage staff are out trying to calm and or restrain the big man.

---

Sizzlechest Invitational

With “Party Boy Theme” thumping through Val Marie, Shizuru-Mune Mangyunik-Cox bounds out with a microphone and a huge smile on his face. As he climbs through the ropes, he motions for the music to stop as the microphone goes up to his mouth.

Shizuru-Mune: “While Sizzlechest lose DDT Ironman Heavy Metal championship to eagle, Sizzlechest still Sizzlechest-Edra Love Champion. Nateman making Sizzlechest a championship to defend, but Sizzlechest still want competition. Sizzlechest still see Stinkyman at ringside. Sizzlechest accept Stinkyman challenge.”

Stank, who is still livid following his upset loss to Bridget O’Malley, halts his tantrum to glare at Shizuru-Mune. As Shizuru-Mune waves him into the ring, Stank grabs the microphone from rig announcer Mike Elevenbee.

Stank: “Listen. You’re better off forgetting that you said what you said and exiting this ring. This invitation of yours will lead to the end of your career. If you value your health, you’ll leave.”
Shizuru-Mune: “Sizzlechest not afraid of Stinkyman. Sizzlechest defeat all challengers to Sizzlechest-Edra Love Championship.”
Stank: “Your funeral, kid.”

Stank drops the microphone and sends a knee to the stomach of Shizuru-Mune. As the Japanese youngster tries to get away from danger, Stank grabs him by his Adidas track jacket and throws him out of the ring across the barricade. With Shizuru-Mune trying to get himself upright, Stank gorilla presses him onto the announce table. A Stank U onto the table follows, leaving Shizuru-Mune in an unconscious heap.

Russ: “You think Sizzlechest was a bit unprepared for Stank’s fury?”
Razz: “Sizzlechest AND our table were not ready for Stank’s fury.”

Stank picks up the lifeless Shizuru-Mune and tosses him into the ring with a harsh landing. As Shizuru-Mune begins to stir, Stank hoists him with ease into Shitfaced. Multiple times. As a bell calling for help rings incessantly, Stank is able to land a Stankonia 2.0 before a herd of officials stop the beating with Shizuru-Mune coughing for air and showing the effects of Stank’s attack. Stank leaves, but not before taking Shizuru-Mune’s track jacket with Edra Cox’s face airbrushed on the back and yelling “I’m taking this!”

---

Beverly Cambridge vs. Mac Flasher - Intercontinental Title Contenders Match

Beverly Cambridge and Mac Flasher are already in the ring as Davis Hightower calls for the bell to open the match. Mac lunges toward Beverly, who matadors Mac a couple times as he repeats his charge. Finally Mac stops just short of Beverly on her sidestep attempt and sends a Pittsburgh Left (forearm uppercut) to her jaw, crumpling her on the mat. Mac keeps the pressure on Beverly with a hammerlock that starts on the mat, but becomes a Flying Hammerlock as Mac uses a dearth of strength to get Beverly off the mat. Beverly screams, but nothing resembling a submission comes out, before Mac’s grip starts to loosen. Eventually Mac can’t hold on as Beverly falls to the mat. As Mac and Beverly each catch their breath, Hightower checks on both combatants to ensure that they are willing to continue.

Razz: “Mac taking things back a bit with that Flying Hammerlock.”
Russ: “You best believe that Beverly has Mac scouted back to his indie days, Mac just had to turn it back to days before he was even alive.”

Beverly is felled by another Pittsburgh Left, but reverses a headlock into a shoveoff, sending Mac into the ropes and greeting him with a spinning heel kick. With Mac checking on his dental work, Beverly advances with her sights set on Mac’s shoulder. A few knees to the right arm keep Mac occupied with the pain before a bridging hammerlock try has Mac in a precarious spot. Beverly can only hold the bridge for so long before blood rushes to her head, causing her to fall on Mac’s arm … Actually inflicting more damage, but breaking the hold. Mac grips his arm while Beverly collects her wits as the feed jumps to an advertisement for Mid Summer Night’s Scream live on OOWF.tv, free for only $6.66 per month.

The feed comes back with Mac trying to overpower Beverly in a test of strength, arching her shoulders to the mat before Beverly kips out. The two stand off before Mac tries to match his power game with Beverly’s quick-hitting strong style attack with both earning their share of successes, but neither getting clear edge. That changes with Mac hitting a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Mac follows with a gutwrench suplex and a few elbows across Beverly’s torso.

Russ: “Mac Flasher is wrestling a very deliberate match. No risks. Nothing that can really go against him.”
Razz: “Twice in the past two weeks, he and Beverly have been as equal as equal can be. You can either wrestle the safe match and prosper or take big risks and reap big rewards … Or leave yourself open to getting caught.”

Mac, seemingly not listening to Razz’s advice, dumps Beverly to the outside and follows with a tope con hilo that he recently named “Kennywood’s Open” since he uses it every week since the visual of a 240-pounder going luchadore is quite fun. Nevertheless, they both crash and burn on the ramp with Mac tumbling a third of the way up the aisle. Beverly seemingly recovers first and whips Mac into the apron. Mac falls in front of the ring as Hightower gets his count to 7 before Beverly goes in. Mac beats the count and immediately eats a series of stomps.

Razz: “If Mac is into facial tattoos, he might be getting an excellent template from the soles of Beverly’s boots on his cheeks. She is working him with extra aggression!”
Russ: “For three weeks these two have battled with a shot at Jack Bullet’s Intercontinental Championship as the prize. Someone is going to have to win. And someone is going to maybe have to get dirty to make a win happen.”

An STF flows into a La Bella Lock, which flows into Mac grabbing at the ropes. Hightower calls for a break, which Beverly gives at 2. Beverly tries to cinch in the lock once more, only for Mac to roll her into a small package to get 2. Mac rolls under a Shining Wizard try, popping up and drilling Beverly with a Pittsburgh Left and hitting an overhead suplex. Then a Clemente Bridge Suplex that gets 2 with Beverly cutting off the momentum with a ripcord knee strike. Beverly scrambles for a pin, getting 2.5. The two trade pin attempts just as ring announcer Mike Elevenbee gives an update on the time situation. Mac fights with more urgency, trying to secure Beverly in a Flash Drive, battling with her and getting nowhere as Elevenbee counts down the remaining seconds. The bell rings just as Mac gets Beverly hoisted. He puts her down on her feet as both show the same frustration that has washed over their faces over the past two weeks.

Before Elevenbee announces what might be the official decision, he pulls a card from his jacket.

Elevenbee: “Ladies and gentlemen. In anticipation of this result … General Manager Nate Corbitt has authorized that Beverly Cambridge and Mac Flasher will be granted FIVE MORE MINUTES to settle this week’s encounter.”

The crowd reacts accordingly as Mac and Beverly tear into each other with punches and a few kicks, again with neither getting much of an advantage. Beverly is the fresher of the two, running the ropes and blasting Mac with a boot to the skull. Beverly whips Mac into to the corner and tries a victory roll. Mac hits a sit-out face-first powerbomb as a reversal, but cannot make the cover in time to keep Beverly down. As Mac crawls to Beverly, she rolls him into a crucifix pin, getting 2. A roaring elbow from Mac stuns Beverly long enough for him to hit the Flash Drive … 2 seconds before the overtime period ends.

Official Decision (25:00) Time Limit Draw

GMNC: So it appears we just aren't going to get the clear resolution to this that I was looking for. So here's the plan kids. We can do this dance again next week (Crowd groans)...... OR ..... We can make the Intercontinental Title match at Mid Summer night's Scream a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH! (Much Louder Pop) Well, That settles it.

Beverly and Mac meet mid ring for shirt stare-down, then exchange a knuckle bump before heading to the back

---

Jack Bullet vs. Ecosystem - Non Title Match

Russ: Our next contest is the third in a series, kind-of. “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet pinned Ecosystem two weeks ago with a flash rollup when the Intercontinental Champion refused a cheap shot against the OOWF CEO.
Razz: Then last week, Eco smashed a trophy Bullet received for being the 100th individual champion in OOWF history, drawing a disqualification.

“Immortal” by Adema plays and Ecosystem emerges to a chorus of jeers. He welcomes them as if they were cheers as he walks to the ring.

Russ: This led to Bullet demanding a third match against Eco without the IC Title being on the line.
Razz: Bullet had strong words for Eco after last’s week’s match. He said he had found inner peace where his troubles with Eco were concerned, but now he was highly upset with how Eco has been screwing the fans and his general disrespect for them. If there’s one thing we’ve learned Bullet holds more dear than the IC Title, it’s love and respect he receives from the OOWF faithful.

Bullet then comes out to massive cheers to prove the point. However, he doesn’t soak in the adulation as usual. He runs straight to the ring and tackles Eco to the ground while he still has his jacket on.

Russ: Bullet isn’t wasting anytime. He is raining down the clubbing blows on Eco.

Eco manages to shake himself free and slide to the floor. Bullet vaults over the ropes and lands on his feet on the floor. He stalks Eco around the outside of the ring, as he begs off. Eco trips over the ring steps and flips over them to land in a crouching position. He shoves the top half of the stairs off to smash into Bullet’s knee. He goes down favoring it. Eco looks up at referee Davis Hightower.

Eco: C’mon, isn’t that good enough for a DQ?
Hightower: The match hasn’t even started yet.
Eco: Well, ring the damn bell then.

Hightower calls for the bell. Eco takes off his coat and turns his attention back to Bullet…just in time to see him coming off the bottom half of the ring stairs with a double axe handle. The two men lay on the floor. Eco pulls himself up by the ring apron and slides into the ring. Bullet follows. Eco begs off on his knees as Bullet stands over him. Eco then flies up with a forearm between Jack’s legs. Eco looks at Hightower.

Eco: Are you going to call that a DQ?
Hightower: Nah, it didn’t seem to bother him any, so I’ll let it go.

Eco then looks back at Bullet, who glowers down at Eco. Eco is shocked and falls onto his back while still pleading for mercy. Bullet reaches into his tights and pulls out a cup.

Russ: Bullet has proven himself smarter than Eco throughout their three matches and once again he shows that he’s ahead of anything Eco could come up with.
Eco: That’s a foreign object! Disqualify him!
Hightower: I know you probably have never seen one before, but that’s an athletic cup and perfectly legal to wear.

Bullet spikes the cup down and pulls Eco, protesting, to his feet. Bullet whips him to the far corner and follows with a Stinger Splash. Bullet steps out and Eco takes a step forward, before crashing to the mat on his face.

Razz: It feels as if Bullet is just toying with Eco now and he probably shouldn’t do that. Eco is not a buffoon. He a cold, calculating manipulator who pretends to be a buffoon. Or he’s a buffoon who likes to think he’s a cold, calculating manipulator. Hard to say.

Bullet puts his hands on Eco to steady him and then drives a series of knees into his lower back. Eco screams with agony. Bullet allows him to crawl away to the ropes. Eco starts to pull himself up and Bullet takes him off the ropes from behind. He locks in a sleeper hold. Eco waves his arms as the fans roar.

Eco then puts his arms back to grab Jack’s head and drops down for a jaw jacker to break. Bullet goes down to one knee, holding his mouth. Eco walks a semi-circle and then dives with a dropkick to Bullet’s jutted out knee. Bullet rolls to his back, holding the knee.

Russ: That’s the knee Bullet hit the outside ring steps. Eco might have found a body part he can work.

Eco descends on Bullet and locks in a knee bar. Bullet is close enough to the ropes that he can grab them. Hightower asks for the break and starts to count. Eco lets go at four. He stands and holds his arms open to the crowd, getting boos.

Russ: Now, I have to say that Eco shouldn’t toy with Bullet. What he needs to do is get a quick, clean, decisive victory over the IC champion.
Razz: Well, without the belt on the line, he’s doesn’t have much to go for outside of humiliating Bullet as he so loves to do.

Bullet stands, but is gimpy. Eco turns quickly and clips the knee. Bullet goes back down. Eco comes up with a single leg crab. Bullet reaches out for the ropes again, but he’s a bit too far to make them this time.

Bullet brings his free leg back and presses it against Eco’s lower back. It’s enough to knock Eco loose and he breaks the hold. Bullet turns onto his back. Eco runs to him and Jack catches him in the stomach with both feet. Eco stumbles back. He charges again as Bullet stands. Bullet scores a drop toehold and works into an STF. Eco refuses to submit as he reaches for the bottom rope.

Russ: Smart move by Bullet. He can let his knee rest while wearing Eco out.

Eco throws his hand back and pokes Bullet in the eye. Bullet lets go and rolls off Eco, while holding his eye.

Eco: I poked him in the eye!
Hightower: I didn’t see it.
Eco: Position, man! What do we teach you referees?

Eco stands and puts the boots to Bullet. He bends over and pulls him up in a facelock. He hits a fisherman’s suplex, but can’t hold the bridge and just gets a one count. Eco is up first again and brings Bullet up with another facelock. He picks Jack up and drops him stomach first over the ropes. While hung up to dry, Eco nails a rising knee lift and Bullet flies backward to the floor.

Eco points at Hightower and then to Bullet on the floor. Eco goes to the far corner and sprawls out on the top turnbuckle while Hightower counts.

Russ: Eco seems content to take the count out victory here.

Bullet makes the apron and juts his head under the ropes as Hightower hits eight. Bullet pulls himself up slowly. Eco comes over to meet him. Bullet juts his shoulder through the ropes and hits Eco with two thrusts to the ribs. Jack pulls down on the top rope and flies in with a sunset flip. It gets two. The pair race up, but Eco immediately dives back down to clip the knee.

Eco stands and kicks the knee. He backs off so Bullet can limp up. Eco grabs Jack by the bad leg and scores a kneebreaker. Eco goes for the immediate cover while hooking the bad leg. Bullet kicks out at two.

Bullet pulls Jack up by the head again. Bullet back drops Eco and falls into the ropes, nursing the bad leg. Eco sits up on his knees and Bullet dives with a forearm to Eco’s face. Bullet mounts Eco and hits several forearms. He then grabs Eco’s head and bashes the back of it into the mat several times. Hightower tells Bullet to get it together and he backs off.

Razz: Bullet is losing his cool. He’s bested Eco so far by being smarter and calmer. Of course, Eco knows that and he wants the “Silver Eagle” to lose his composure.
Russ: Not to mention how well a DQ win for Eco would work against the squeaky clean All-American.

Eco fights up and Bullet catches him from behind with a full nelson. Eco picks his foot up and kicks Bullet in the knee to break the hold. Eco follows with a standing dropkick to get some distance. As Bullet bounces back into him, Eco scores a hurricanrana into a pin for two.

Eco gets an enzuirgiri on Bullet while he’s on his knees. He covers for two more. Eco debates the count with Hightower. Eco stands and stomps the bad knee. He pulls Bullet up and goes for a dragon sleeper, to setup the Endgame. Bullet squirms, turns around in the hold and pushes Eco into the near corner.

Bullet throws a few shoulder thrusts, then whips Eco out to the far corner. Eco does a cartwheel and comes up on his feet with a wide smile as he if he outsmarted Bullet. He turns around into a haymaker right.

Russ: Shades of Ronnie Garvin!
Razz: It’s a punch. Lots of people punch. Look, it’s shades of Little Mac from Punch Out!

Eco is staggered from the punch and falls back to the corner. Bullet follows and mounts Eco for a ten count punch with the crowd following along. They reach 10 and Bullet gets off. Eco takes two steps out of the corner and crashes down.

Bullet climbs the ropes. His knee gives him trouble and it’s slow going. This allows Eco to get up. He makes a flying leap and catches Bullet with an Enzuigiri as he sets up top. Eco then climbs from the inside and hooks Bullet for a superplex. Eco hits it and floats over for a cover. One…two…thre…No! Bullet kicks out.

Eco pulls Jack up and into the dragon sleeper position again. Bullet wiggles and fights. Eco drops Jack in a sort of modified Scorpion Deathdrop to still him and covers again. One…two…thre…No!

Eco sits up and slaps his hands together fast three times to show Hightower what he should be doing. The referee shrugs his shoulders to say, ‘what do you want me to do.’

Russ: The resilience of Jack Bullet is really giving Ecosystem fits. He’s taking high impact moves and is still able to kick out.
Razz: Bullet has thwarted the Endgame twice now. Maybe Eco needs to dig deeper into the bag of tricks.
Russ: Perhaps he’s doing that now as we see him going up top. Could the Savior Splash be on the way?

Eco gets to the top rope. The fans are going crazy with the jeering. Eco finally has had enough and starts yelling back. Bullet gets up and meets Eco on top.

Russ: The fans have helped out Bullet here, they caused Eco to stall just long enough.

Bullet catches Eco around the waist and takes him down off the top with a belly to belly suplex. Both men spring off the mat, from the impact, almost to their feet. In a deft motion, Bullet locks in a double underhook and hits the Silver Bullet DDT. He floats over for the cover and the three count.

Your Winner (Pinfall; 15:47) Jack Bullet!

Bullet slides to the floor, not putting too much pressure on the bad leg. He lifts an arm in victory to the crowd. He heads for the back as Eco still lays in the ring out cold. Fade to commercial.

---

Kylie Mignolio (C) vs. Shannon Mann - Onslaught Title Match

With Shannon Mann and Kylie Mignolio receiving instructions from Angelo Barros. “Crown on the Ground” hits, startling everyone as Bridget O’Malley enters the ringside area to a moderate applause. Bridget walks past the ring and takes a seat at the announce table, receiving a hug from Russ and a dirty glare from Razz as Shannon and Kylie are both very confused by Bridget’s presence.

Russ: “Bridget. This is unexpected.”
Razz: “And unwelcome.”
Bridget: “Just out here to support Kylie and talk about how well she’s been doing as Onslaught Champion.”
Razz: “Can’t you do that as far away from this table as possible?”
Bridget: “You should talk about Kylie.”

During the exchange, Kylie and Shannon trade the advantage through tie-ups, engaging in standoffs that draw the requisite amount of applause. Kylie makes use of her speed to duck under a tie-up attempt and sends a roundhouse kick to Shannon’s head. A dropkick pushes the former champion to the outside. As Bridget applauds Kylie’s work from the table, Shannon reaches over and slaps Bridget down to her seat.

Razz: “I knew it! Shannon is Team Kylie all the way!”
Russ: “Well, that will make things awkward since her opponent is Kylie.”

Shannon reenters the ring only to eat another dropkick from Kylie to keep her on the outside as Barros continues his count. Kylie lets Shannon back into the ring on the next attempt and immediately drills her with a lariat and tries to lock Shannon into a sharpshooter, but Shannon is able to get to the ropes with ease.

Shannon Mann has used her first rope break.

Bridget: “C’mon Kylie! That was time for the arm bar, not a leg submission. We talked about this.”
Razz: “Listen to the so-called submissions expert. The one who got caught by Kylie last week babbling on about her expertise. Let Kylie fight her fight and shut your yap.”

Shannon gains the advantage with a hair pull takedown, right in front of Barros. The damage is done, but …

Shannon Mann has been issued her first warning.

Shannon begins a punishing assault on Kylie with clubbing blows to down her and a few dropping knees to keep her on the mat. Bridget has since abandoned her post at the table to act as a quasi-manager for Kylie, shouting instructions with Kylie giving equal expressions of confusion and pain as Shannon works a chin lock with a knee on Kylie’s back. Shannon rolls Kylie into a Sugar Hold, eliminating the confusion from Kylie’s face as she desperately tries to get Shannon’s weight off of her shoulders. After roughly a minute, Shannon rolls Kylie into a pinning predicament, getting 2 before an 11th-hour kickout saves Kylie’s championship. Before Shannon can inflict more damage on Kylie, the champ rolls away from the ring and into the grasp of Bridget, who pulls Kylie further from the apron. Bridget tries to fan off Kylie, who wants little to do with the help as she shoves out of Bridget’s grip. The two almost come to blows before Shannon’s sliding dropkick nails Bridget in the jaw.

Russ: “Not sure if Bridget O’Malley was Shannon’s target, but that was an impressive feat nonetheless.”
Razz: “I support anything that puts Bridget on her wallet.”

As Kylie rolls into the ring, a red-faced Bridget charges after Shannon and traps her in a Lou Thesz Press on the outside, whaling on her with a series of forearms as Barros calls for a disqualification. As the bell rings, Bridget slides off of Shannon with an expression of horror and guilt as she realizes what has just happened.

Your winner (Disqualification; 10:06) and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion Shannon Mann!

Shannon grins at Bridget and takes her newly won crown from Barros as Kylie stares down the frenemy who is trembling in remorse on the outside. Kylie drops to the outside mats and glares at Bridget, who profusely apologizes. Kylie draws back a fist and is ready to pummel Bridget before sighing and walking away. Bridget tries to follow but is glared back by Kylie as she storms up the ramp.

---

Beer Money (C) vs. Texpress - World Tag Team Title Match

Texpress come down first, to much adulation. Beer Money are out next. Dorothey has the belts on her shoulders, and SYB is carrying... the MITB Briefcase.

Russ: What is he doing with that!
Razz: I don't even want to think about it.

SYB rolls into the ring and offers the briefcase to Zane. Zane stares at SYB as if he is sprouting green tentacles. SYB offers it to Chad next, and Chad pushes him back. SYB swings the briefcase and catches Chad in the arm. Zane grabs him and tosses him aside. Skurge bull rushes and the brawl is on.

Chad is knocked to the floor. Skurge follows up and pulls a goalie stick out from under the ring and clobbers him with it.

Russ: Why was there a hockey stick under the ring?
Razz: GOALIE stick Russ, don't you know anything?
Russ: About wrestling? Yes. About hockey? Not so much.
Razz: Well, know this really great Podcast you need to listen to.
Russ: Don't you dare plug that show right here!
Razz: SPEAKING of plugs, Zane is about to plug SYB in the face with his boot!

True enough, Zane Kicks SYB in the face with a Mafia Kick. He stomps on his neck a few times, then turns to the floor, where Skurge is pounding Chad's face into the concrete ala Sidney Crosby and PK Subban. Zane leaps over the ropes and tackles Skurge, driving him back into the ring post. Skurge slumps, then dodges a charge and checks Zane into the barricade.

Russ: What a shot right there!
Razz: This match hasn't even started yet!

Chad crawls up into the ring and meets SYB as they both get to their feet. They trade rights and lefts. Chad with a forearm shot. SYB with a Bionic Elbow. Chad snaps off a dropkick, and SYb hits the mat hard. Chad looks up and sees Skurge with Zane bent over (Not like that you pervert) ready for a powerbomb. Chad gets the mandatory running start and planchas himself over the rops and crashes into Skurge. Both men hit the floor. Zane pulls his partner up and they turn around to see SYB take to the sky himself off the top turnbuckle. Chad and Zane both fall to the side and SYB 's dive lands him straight on the concrete next to his partner!

Russ: SYB dropped like panties on prom night!
Razz: Not that's he'd know anything about how that works.

Chad grabs Skurge and pummels his back Zane snatches SYB and Gorilla Presses him overhead. Skurge gut shots Chad and shoves him into Zane. Zane drops SYB as he falls, Skurge catches him and tosses his partner into both members of Texpress, sending all 3 of them into the barricade. Skurge grabs the goalie stick and brings it down on Chad's skull from behind, then clotheslines Zane over the barricade. They both tumble into the crowd. The referee gives up and waves this one off.

Official Decision (0:00) No Match

That draws out Backstage Security and they pull Texpress and Beer Money apart, hauling all four to the back, and Mike Elevenbee informs the crowd that this match will never even start. They boo loudly and a "Let Them Fight" chant cranks up as we fade.

---

Mai Muyo (C) vs. Moosehead Jack - OOWF World Title Match

At first glance, the champion enters first, as Moosehead Jack storms out to the ramp to the tune of “Scarecrow,” with the stolen OOWF World Championship belt around his waist like a real champion. He unbuckles the belt and raises it high with a sneer—the fans give a mixed reaction, with the majority boos met by the defiant yells of the fans of the Saints of Sinners. The Saints’ fans are smelling blood after Moosehead Jack’s non-title victory the prior week, expecting to see their anti-hero (anti-everything, really) finally make good on the status he has stolen.

A flash of pink fireworks interrupts Jack’s ominous lighting as he enters the ring. Skillet’s “Hero” plays in Mai Muyo, who is dressed as Bart Simpson Bret Hart—all pink and black, bright shades, rolling in on a skateboard—with the custom Mai Little Pony World Championship on her shoulders. She hands the sunglasses to a little girl in the audience before making her way down to the ring, smiling wide at Moosehead Jack, who just shakes his head. The commentators note that neither wrestler seems inclined to give the other the satisfaction of taking him or her entirely seriously.

After some referee instruction, the bell rings—and Mai immediately breaks an attempted early lockup with an armdrag. Moose runs back at Mai, blocks her armdrag, pulls her in with a headlock, headlock takedown, Mai gets out with a headscissors, Moose with a headscissors of his own, Mai kicks her way out, both up, Moose takes a swing at Mai, Mai ducks and shoves Moose into the ropes, Moose ducks a clothesline, off the opposite ropes, hard shoulder tackle to take Mai down! Jack off the ropes again as Mai rises, Mai throws him with an armdrag this time again—and tries to hold on into a LaBell Lock attempt—nothing doing as Moose shoves her onto her back, grabbing the tights as before—Mai kicks out at two, Moose jumps on her with a front face lock, Mai resists with her knees—Moose suddenly LAUNCHES her out of the ring with an angry toss through the ropes!

After a moment to feel out his abs, Moose slides under the ropes and goes after Mai—but Mai meets him with a hard chop to the chest! Mai begins to unload on the Saints’ spiritual leader with a series of chops, before Moosehead Jack grabs the World Champion by the shoulders and tosses her into the guardrail. Noting that the count is at seven, Moose rolls Mai back into the ring rather than continuing the punishment out there—but given the breath, Mai grabs at Moose’s head and begins to drive knees into his head, stunning him until Mai bounds off the ropes, looking for the clothesline she missed before—and Moose catches her with a high knee to the gut, bowling her over. Moosehead Jack yanks her in viciously—vertical suplex! Up again with a delay this time, SECOND vertical! One more lift—oh no, is he . . . BRAIN BUSTA!! Moosehead Jack into the cover: 1 . . . 2 . . . no! Mai kicked out of the head drop.

Moosehead Jack shakes his head laughing, but he has no intention of easing up. He pulls Mai in and up for another brainbuster—but this time Mai uses the momentum to drop out back on her feet. Moosehead Jack turns around, PELE KICK FROM MAI! A Muyo staple that drops Jack down on his back, and now both competitors are down. Jack is up first, forearm to Mai’s face, Mai gives him one back, he gives one, she gives one, he gives a hard one, and another, and winds back for a third—Mai ducks, grabs the waist, MAI TIME GERMAN! Out of nowhere! 1 . . . 2 . . . Moosehead Jack kicks out hard, but he was almost surprised by the champion there!

Mai tries to grab him again, this time for the belly to belly, but Moose gives her the ol’ Bionic Elbow to the head to break her off. A couple more elbows leave her loopy, Moose whips her into the corner FAST and Mai lands sternum first! Mai stumbles out, whip to the opposite corner, another sternum bump as Mai goes down holding her chest. Razz, unhelpfully, pokes fun at the fact that Mai has no padding there. The fans are trying to will Mai up as Moosehead Jack stomps away on her ribs and then her chest as she turns over. Jack drags her up by the hair, looking for the HEART PUN—no! Mai catches the wrist, knee to the gut, forces Moose down—into the TRINITARIAN! Moosehead Jack is caught in Mai’s signature submission! The crowd chants, “TAP! TAP! TAP!” but Moose, too far from the ropes, grabs his free arm under Mai, looking for some kind of powerbomb—but YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB MAI MUYO! Mai kicks herself free from Moose, sending him down on his back though landing on her own—Mai and Moose both up, but Moose charges—

BUISAKU KNEE! BUISAKU KNEE! OUT OF NOWHERE!

Moosehead Jack into the cover!

1 . . .

2 . . .

. . . NO!! Mai Muyo kicked out! Moosehead Jack is incredulous as the fans are going nuts—he backs up into the corner, looking to go to the well again, almost like he’s out to defend his knee—Mai slowly, slowly staggers up, back down to one knee and then back up . . . Moosehead charges and FINALLY Mai hits her leaping clothesline! Jack up too quick, dropkick from Mai! Jack up too loopy, swings a clothesline of his own, misses, SUPERKICK from Mai! Jack goes down, Mai drops to her knee, the fans are going nuts. Mai goes up to the top rope, but moves slowly, still gaining her bearings—and Moosehead Jack gets up and throws himself at the top rope, crotching her. Mai is not as impaired as a man might be, but a SICK backfist from Moosehead Jack leaves her completely dazed on the top. The crowd boos, but then buzzes as Moosehead Jack climbs to the second rope, putting Mai on his back . . . we’re in a real danger zone as Moosehead Jack prepares to tell Mai to GO TO SLEEP FOREVER from up high . . .

. . . but Mai elbows him in the head suddenly! Over and over, striking like a caged animal, Mai finally gets herself free and drops out the back, holding Moosehead Jack’s neck in the Dragon Sleeper position as he stands on the second rope . . . Mai has her left leg on the second rope and her right on the third—she leaps herself over Moosehead Jack, END—IS—HERE! Mai Muyo hits her Cross Rhodes variation off the top freaking rope! Moosehead Jack is laid out flat, Mai grabs both legs:

1 . . .

2 . . .

. . . 3!

Your Winner (Pinfall; 15:32) and STILL OOWF World Champion, Mai Muyo!

Mai rolls out of the ring, falling to her knees in obvious pain. Inside the ring, Jack drags himself up to the ropes, not as exhausted but grabbing his neck tight as the announcers suggest that Mai might have tweaked his neck on the fall, cutting out strength for a kickout. Mai grabs both her custom championship and the true OOWF World Championship, standing on the announcers’ table raising both championships high . . . before leaving the original on the announcers’ table and exiting through the audience with her custom, celebrating as Moose pulls himself up to a standing position, snarling as we fade.

---

We hope you enjoyed this episode of OOWF MidWeek Mayhem!!

Upcoming OOWF Events:
MidWeek Mayhem July 19, 2017, from Neepawa, Manitoba
Mid Summer Night's Scream Sunday, July 30, 2017, from Emo, Ontario


Did you see something you really liked? Mention it in the OOWF Awards Reminder Thread.
Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
Follow the OOWF on Facebook.
The 12 year history of the OOWF can be found at the OOWF Archives