NAMEDROP Wrestling Academy
Apr 1, 2022 22:22:13 GMT -5
Post by Chris Eco on Apr 1, 2022 22:22:13 GMT -5
Dave Prazak of IWA Mid-South comes out to a very small crowd in a high-school gym with a microphone.
Dave Prazak: Ladies and gentlemen, put you hands together for … LASHLEY!
(Pause)
KRISTAL LASHLEY!
Kristal Marshall comes out with a microphone.
Kristal: First of all, Dave, I don’t go by my ex-beau’s name anymore, you got that? I am here as my own woman, and specifically, a woman who has been disrespected. I have not been picked in a regulation draft for over ten years. Ten years! Can you believe that?
The crowd murmurs that yes, they can.
Kristal: Well, that time of disrespect is over. See, I’m not waiting for this new draft to start and disrespect me again. I’ve gathered together a whole company of people who have not been picked in regulation in over ten years. We’re going to have a 32-man tag team tournament where talents can show off their skills to the drafting leagues while the draft is happening. And the winners will face off one on one for a guaranteed draft pick!
Kristal pauses.
Kristal: Wait, Dave, how are we going to guarantee that?
Prazak: Ecosystem has promised us that if no one else takes the winner, he’ll take them with his 40th pick.
Kristal: That’s all we have to offer.
Prazak: Yes.
Kristal: Ecosystem’s 40th pick.
Prazak: Yes.
Kristal: Well, beggars can’t be choosers, all right, let’s introduce our first team.
Jose Maximo comes out.
Jose: That’s right, the Maximo brothers are here! The S-A-T, the Spanish Announce Team. We’re ready to take that draft spot, right Joel?
Jose looks behind him, to no one.
Jose: Uh … Wil?
Kristal: Ooh, sorry, Joel and Wil both got taken in the 2013 Pun’s Draft, at 704 and 705. But hey, we have a partner that’s just as good.
Are$ comes out.
Are$: That’s right, it’s me, Are$, of Swiss Money Holding! And me and [BLEEP] are here to … wait, let me guess, [BLEEP] isn’t here.
Kristal: No, sweetie, that would be an actual namedrop. We’re censoring you right now.
Jose: Wait, what are you implying about the other Maximos?
Kristal: Anyway, you two are teaming. And your first opponents are Romeo Roselli and Antonio Thomas … THE HEART THROBS!
The Heart Throbs come out to a mild pop.
Are$: Sorry, do I know you guys?
Roselli: Yeah, we were in Chikara in 2012? For like two matches?
Are$: ... I think I was gone that year.
Thomas: Okay, so we were in WWE ...
Jose: REALLY?
Thomas: Yes! And later we were managed by [BLEEP] in TNA for one match?
Jose: Who?
Thomas: [BLEEP]?
Are$: Sorry, there’s an air horn.
Kristal: Look, let’s not talk about that member of the Diva Search, when we have so many other members here! Heart Throbs, meet your new leading lady.
Rosa Mendes comes out and takes both their arms. The crowd cheers and starts chanting.
Crowd: WE KNOW HER! WE KNOW HER!
Jose: Hey, that’s not fair! We should get a valet!
Kristal: And you have one! Say hello to the wife of … hmmm, how can I say this … the wife of a new Hall of Famer …
Are$: No way, we got [BLEEP]?
Kristal: Sorry, former wife! Huh, I shouldn’t be making that mistake. SARA CALAWAY!
Sara Calaway comes out.
Sara: You guys remember me, right? I got stalked by—
Jose: No way you’re getting that one out, sorry.
TO BE CONTINUED ….
Dave Prazak: Ladies and gentlemen, put you hands together for … LASHLEY!
(Pause)
KRISTAL LASHLEY!
Kristal Marshall comes out with a microphone.
Kristal: First of all, Dave, I don’t go by my ex-beau’s name anymore, you got that? I am here as my own woman, and specifically, a woman who has been disrespected. I have not been picked in a regulation draft for over ten years. Ten years! Can you believe that?
The crowd murmurs that yes, they can.
Kristal: Well, that time of disrespect is over. See, I’m not waiting for this new draft to start and disrespect me again. I’ve gathered together a whole company of people who have not been picked in regulation in over ten years. We’re going to have a 32-man tag team tournament where talents can show off their skills to the drafting leagues while the draft is happening. And the winners will face off one on one for a guaranteed draft pick!
Kristal pauses.
Kristal: Wait, Dave, how are we going to guarantee that?
Prazak: Ecosystem has promised us that if no one else takes the winner, he’ll take them with his 40th pick.
Kristal: That’s all we have to offer.
Prazak: Yes.
Kristal: Ecosystem’s 40th pick.
Prazak: Yes.
Kristal: Well, beggars can’t be choosers, all right, let’s introduce our first team.
Jose Maximo comes out.
Jose: That’s right, the Maximo brothers are here! The S-A-T, the Spanish Announce Team. We’re ready to take that draft spot, right Joel?
Jose looks behind him, to no one.
Jose: Uh … Wil?
Kristal: Ooh, sorry, Joel and Wil both got taken in the 2013 Pun’s Draft, at 704 and 705. But hey, we have a partner that’s just as good.
Are$ comes out.
Are$: That’s right, it’s me, Are$, of Swiss Money Holding! And me and [BLEEP] are here to … wait, let me guess, [BLEEP] isn’t here.
Kristal: No, sweetie, that would be an actual namedrop. We’re censoring you right now.
Jose: Wait, what are you implying about the other Maximos?
Kristal: Anyway, you two are teaming. And your first opponents are Romeo Roselli and Antonio Thomas … THE HEART THROBS!
The Heart Throbs come out to a mild pop.
Are$: Sorry, do I know you guys?
Roselli: Yeah, we were in Chikara in 2012? For like two matches?
Are$: ... I think I was gone that year.
Thomas: Okay, so we were in WWE ...
Jose: REALLY?
Thomas: Yes! And later we were managed by [BLEEP] in TNA for one match?
Jose: Who?
Thomas: [BLEEP]?
Are$: Sorry, there’s an air horn.
Kristal: Look, let’s not talk about that member of the Diva Search, when we have so many other members here! Heart Throbs, meet your new leading lady.
Rosa Mendes comes out and takes both their arms. The crowd cheers and starts chanting.
Crowd: WE KNOW HER! WE KNOW HER!
Jose: Hey, that’s not fair! We should get a valet!
Kristal: And you have one! Say hello to the wife of … hmmm, how can I say this … the wife of a new Hall of Famer …
Are$: No way, we got [BLEEP]?
Kristal: Sorry, former wife! Huh, I shouldn’t be making that mistake. SARA CALAWAY!
Sara Calaway comes out.
Sara: You guys remember me, right? I got stalked by—
Jose: No way you’re getting that one out, sorry.
TO BE CONTINUED ….