[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – Dec. 2, 2023
LIVE! from Bryson City, North Carolina

• Elimination six-person match: Lexie Darling, Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon vs. Harmony (Bridget O’Malley and The One-Notes)

• Non-title match: Zed and Sean Franklin vs. Banned From Everywhere

• Steel cage match: WAR PIGS vs. Angie Delpetro and Pete Quick

• The Woodsmen vs. Legion

• Beverly Cambridge vs. Alexander Darling

• Nuke vs. Kylie Mignolio

Card subject to Jack Quinn getting lost in the Trust Me Whiskey distillery and never coming back

[Jack Quinn]

<We cut to the back where we see Gender Neutral Journalist 21>

GNJ21: I am Gender Neutral Journalist 21, and I am here with current OOWF Intercontinental champion

<from offscreen we hear something bellow like an angry animal and a bloody Katie Bardoor walks into the frame wildly swinging the IC title above her head, causing GNJ21 to flee. Luckily we still have the INC's. Katie paces for a moment then stares into the camera as the blood runs down her face. Katie wipes the blood from her forehead and looks at it on her finger, all while keeping a maniacal stare at the camera>

KB:........lookie there. Captain Dicknuts and Lady Floppy Tits along with their side kicks Shitweasel and Fucknugget have drawn first blood.

<Katie walks around looking up, then finally collects herself>

KB: Quick, let me make this perfectly clear to you. I am not interested in your games. I don't care what you find out about me in Nebraska. I don't care if you set up this elaborate plan, just to get a couple of shots in on me. You know why? Cause this <holding up the IC title> is what matters. You can hatch all the plots you and the Scooby Gang can come up with, and it ain't gonna matter. This stays with me.

<PORK walks into the shot, clearly annoyed and just>

P: Mr. Quick, I am a patient man. I am a reasonable man. I am a humble man. I recognize the opportunity I was given. You tried to take away my opportunity. You tried to take away what could be my last shot, all because of your sick vendetta against another man. This time, you won't be running away.

KB: Trust Me

<CLEAR>

P: <Grabbing his crutches> Man, I'm gonna go get some time in the cold tub, get off my knee for a minute. Meet you in an hour for the presser.

KB: Yeah, guess I should go get sewn up, catch you then

<Katie heads down the hall toward Medical, as she gets a few steps past the Dojo, she stops and slowly turns around and heads inside. The camera follows as she heads to the office. She walks in and the light from the hallway illuminates some of the room, falling mostly on the HDB hanging on the wall. Katie walks over and touches the barbs, the runs her hand down the handle and reaches to pick it up, then stops.

Katie walks over to a small picture that would be easily missed. It was a picture of a much younger, bloodied Moose being held back by security. Katie reaches out and takes the picture off the wall and looks at it closer, the fans behind Moose clearly want him dead. Moose stands with his arms outstretched, head back with a look of pure malevolent joy on his face. Katie looks closer and whispers>

Don't think. Just do. Yes Sensei.

<Katie hangs the photo back on the wall and leaves the room, leaving the door open. A moment later, a shadowy figure walks out of the room following her and we fade>

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds MAC FLASHER in the Senior Executive Office as FIREWOMAN sits across the desk*

FIREWOMAN: “Well, Mac. Your suspension was lifted as of the end of this episode of ‘Saturday Slam,’ so allow me to be the first to welcome you back to the active roster of OOWF. You'll see your assigned match in the usual spot on the bulletin board.”

MAC: “Thanks, Fire.”

*MAC is about to stand up* 

F: “Another thing before you leave.”

MF: “Yes?”

F: “If you ever pull this masked-man shit again to circumvent the contractual stipulations of any match that you may lose, I will not stand idly by and let you run amok on MY show in MY ring. You had your fun. You tormented the person who screwed you over. You finally had an in-ring moment in Johnstown that was a good memory. I allowed all of that to happen and didn’t even bat an eye when you found someone to take that obvious fall for you tonight. DO. NOT. THINK about pulling that stunt again while I am occupying this desk. I will ruin you physically and professionally. Are we clear?”

MF *smiling*: “Very clear, Boss.”

F *also smiling, but only for a moment*: “Good. That sparkles with me.”

*MAC exits the office as the scene fades*

[Jack Quinn]

<We cut to a room somewhere in the OOWF complex where Pete Quick sits angrily behind a desk (how does one sit angrily?) He shuffles through some paperwork, then swipes all the paperwork off the desk and slams his fists on the desk and bellows in anger. A moment later Angie Delpetro walks in>

AD: Something bothering you?

<Quick points to the television where Katie's promo is playing on a loop>

PQ: <pointing at Katie on the paused screen> I DID NOT rid the world of Jack Quinn just for some corn-fed Nebraska trollop to ruin my plans. So help me Angie, I will make Katie bend the knee to me! I AM THE KINGMAKER!

AD: Alexander Darling won't like to hear that

PQ: <scoffing> you mean the ghost of Alexander Darling that haunts the OOWF?

AD: <standing and walking toward the window and smiling> Relax. I have a surprise for you

PQ: I don't want any damn surprises. I want Katie's head on a platter! I want the respect I.....WE deserve!

<There's a tap on the door>

AD: Come in

<Just then Liam and Nigel walk in, both men are wiping what appears to be blood off their hands>

AD: Did you acquire the rights?

<Nigel and Liam look at their hands and nod, Angie smiles and thanks them and they leave. Angie walks over to a shelf and picks up a remote>

AD: I know we've gone through a few names as an entity, and none of them quite fit. So, I decided to acquire us a proper name

PQ: .......acquire.....

AD: In a manner of speaking. <Angie presses a button and two wall panels slide apart to reveal the new name and logo>

PQ: The Black Hand. <grinning while absent-mindedly adjusting the black glove on his hand> I like it

<Quick gets up and walks to the window and looks out, then turns around and looks at Angie>

PQ: There is a new power in town. The era of the Quinns and Darlings running the OOWF is over. From now on, "Kingmaker" Pete Quick and the Black Hand run the OOWF.

<Angie hands Quick a drink, they clink glasses and down them and laugh maniacally as we fade to black>

[DevSop]

*A Quiet Office*

We slowly fade in on a well-kept office and we see Kyla Woods-Davies sitting at a desk at one end of the room. She is slowly shuffling paperwork but looks bored, sad, apathetic as she looks across the office to another desk where Alexander Darling leans back in a chair seemingly staring at the ceiling. The camera pans around Kyla's desk to show that she is watching OOWF-TV on one of her monitors. She turns up the volume in her AirPods as Pete Quick's promo plays. She sighs before looking over at her boss and bites her lip as she decides what to do. She shakes her head before making a few quick keystrokes and we hear a ping come out of Alexander's desktop computer. Kyla hits a few more buttons and the large television in the office starts playing Quick's promo at a very loud volume that Alex has no choice but to pay attention to.

It looks like Kyla set the promo to repeat as she stands up and walks to a wall-safe. She punches in a combination and reaches into the safe before making a decision and pulling out a picture/painting. She takes a deep breath before walking over to Alexander's desk. As she gets closer, she hears a very low growl come out of Alex's soul. She wills herself one more time...

Kyla: I will never pretend to know what this place was for you before it went away. I won't act like I understand what happened in the years without it. I do know what it's like to be estranged from a sibling for a while but I will never understand the bond of twins. And I don't know what you really want anymore. But if there's anything of the man from these photos left within you, it might be time to start seeing that. Or you can keep going through the motions, making money, and soon the thing I remember most about Alexander Darling won't be the leagcy he worked so hard to build, it'd be the poor imitation of the man using that name right now. You have two weeks to decide what you want because I know I want to work for the man with the legacy, not the pale imitation.

Alex stares daggers at the retreating form of Kyla before he looks back up to the television where the promo continues to play. Alex takes a deep breath before picking up the framed picture and it's actually a montage of photographs from his career; both the good (Grand Slam with Firewoman, tag titles with Lexie, standing over Poe) and bad (pouring blood from the original Blood Pond, falling off the scaffold ring against Ghosthead). He puts the picture down before standing up and we fade before we know anything further...

*Fade*

[DevSop]

*OOWF Offices*

There is a knock of GMtFirewoman's door. Fire shuffles some paperwork aside.

Firewoman: Come in.

The OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Lexie Darling slowly makes her way inside the office. She nods towards Firewoman before taking a seat.

Lexie: Hey boss, what can I do for you?

FW: *taking a long look at her long-time friend* Are you okay?

LD: Of course. Why wouldn't I be? I'm champion and everything is great.

FW: Lexie???

LD: Yes Lisa?

FW: *growling* Fine, if you want to do it that way.

LD: I have no idea whatsoever you mean.

FW: Alexis Darling, as OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, you have certain obligations and at the moment, you are not meeting those. Now, I'm not going to do anything that effects you in the ring, but outside the ring, I will start to notice if you are not making your appearances and mandatory segments.

LD: Anything else boss?

FW: I wish you'd talk to me about what happened or what's going on with you but I'm not going to push.

LD: That's cute. Now you care.

FW: What the hell does that mean?

LD: It means there were years you went without caring about what happened to me or how I was doing. You only care now because it affects you. After everything we did for each other for years, both good and bad...I at least thought...no, you know what. It doesn't matter. I'll make your appearances boss since you care about Alexis Darling, OOWF World Champion. If you ever decide to start caring about Lexie Darling, the ice to your fire...you know where my locker room is. Have a good day boss.

Alexis throws one last glare at Firewoman before leaving the office.

FW: Lucky, get your ass in here.

Lucky enters the office.

Lucky: Yes boss?

FW: I'm getting real sick of that word. I'm also getting real tired of not knowing things so I need you to do your thing. And I know I'm never going to get an actual answer from anyone in that family. So find out everything about Alex and Lexie in the years we were shut down. Don't leave any stone unturned. I need to know what I might be walking into. And find out where Lindsay fits into things and how she's recovering.

Lucky: Are you sure you want to do this behind their back? They've never been...

FW: I know exactly who and what they are and what they are capable of. I don't care. I'd rather know at this point than continue to deal with their attitude issues. Get it done.

*Fade*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds NUKE and his father, ADAM JENNINGS, on their way to an unknown office area where they encounter a mostly apathetic ALEXANDER DARLING slumped in a chair watching OOWF footage from years ago. If ALEXANDER notices NUKE, he’s not letting on until …”

NUKE: “Where the fuck were you on Saturday?”

ALEXANDER: “Excuse me?”

N: “I would have thought that with tag-team titles on the line, you’d have at least cared enough for three seconds to have my back.”

AD: “Oh. You conveniently left out the part where I was on the outside, taking another rookie who has barely earned what he has in this company to task while you were getting pinned by the guy who his own tag partner thinks is too old.”

ADAM: “And that guy has at least known what a victory is like since OOWF returned.”

AD: “Returned because I allowed it to happen. Returned because I saved Jack Quinn from himself. Returned because WITHOUT ALEXANDER FUCKING DARLING, THERE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN AN OOWF TO SAVE!”

*ALEXANDER turns his chair to look NUKE in the face*

AD: “So you two come in here, looking for an explanation or an apology because your shoulders were put on the mat for three seconds. I owe you neither. Who in the hell are you, Reese Jennings? Prep school graduate from Minnesota who dresses and acts like he’s Johnny Fucking Rotten and has a cute little street name because you can’t stand your truth. I live my truth every day! You’re still new here, but let me educate you on a few things. I have won more titles in this company than you’ve had matches. I have won more matches in OOWF than you have days on this payroll. And Adam, don’t think you’re immune. You show up here to pump your boy up because you cannot stand to see someone with your last name, a last name that might mean something to the people buying and selling cars in Minnesota, on the raw end of any kind of happening. So you do everything you can to meddle in his affairs and because his biggest rival to date had other things going on, your boy pinned a cardboard cutout and was given credit for a victory over Mac Flasher.”

N: “And when was the last time you pinned anyone or anything in this company?”

AD: “Excuse me?”

AJ: “Alex. All we heard just now was you giving us a biography that has already been written and read many times over. When was the last time that you won anything of significance? When you got to the final of the OOWF World Championship tournament, only to lose to your sister? Alex, my son respected you because of what you did in the past. We’re both a little foggy on your future, however, because you're doing nothing to build one. What is Alexander Darling doing to add to his legacy? There are wrestlers in this company who see you as a gold standard, but also as a steppingstone to get to where you may never be again. Are you just expecting to see your name on a match sheet and have your opponent just not show up because of who you were in 2014? While your name is synonymous with being the pinnacle of all things pro wrestling, it’s also being tarnished each day that you show up and lose to wrestlers such as Rory Thomas. When my son saw that he was paired with you, we thought you’d at least be bothered to care enough to make the champs sweat a bit. We were wrong. There’s a wrestler in OOWF who is accomplishing the thing you could never do, retire Jack Quinn. That same wrestler is calling himself the Kingmaker, and you’re just letting it happen. The Alexander Darling of even eight years ago would have made Pete Quick taste his own blood months ago for even having the gall to touch a royal identity and take on the task that you made your mission. The Alexander Darling of today is just letting the game that he mastered pass him by without a fight.”

AD: “Are you two about done?”

N: “Yes, but so are you.”

*NUKE and ADAM leave, while ALEXANDER, now smoldering, spins his chair back its previous position and resumes watching classic OOWF footage as the scene fades*

[L!zz~]

(Thanksgiving found the women of the compound in their main kitchen. )

Lindsay faced the group. "Ladies, we've been preparing for days. Today is the big event. We all have our lists. Have we read them?"

"Yes Chef" came the chorus of replies.

"Good" she said as she paced. "We are having a total of 25 today. Work issues get checked at the door. Today is a day for family, friends and football. Only arguing is over sports. Are we ready to get started?"

Another chorus of yes chef and the women scattered to start their lists.

Meanwhile, a few hallways down Zed waited as Josie came out of her room after he knocked to wake her up. She was dressed in her coat as he had requested. "Where we going Tio?" Zed smiled as Jeff joined them. "We're going to take a ride and pick up a surprise." Josie beamed "what is it?"

Jeff laughed as asked, "you'll see. Come on, we better get out of here before they put us to work."

Zed agreed and while Jeff and Josie went to the car he went to tell Bev they'd be back in a bit.

*fade*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find HUNTER and DAKOTA, THE WOODSMEN, standing outside The Pain Cabin in an unidentified wooded area*

HUNTER: “Greetings. With Thanksgiving upon us, we The Woodsmen …” *HUNTER pauses while DAKOTA takes out an alphorn kazoo and plays the trademark fanfare as HUNTER places his hand across his brow and DAKOTA steps on an imaginary rock* “… Have a few Thanksgiving safety tips that will ensure that you will never be at risk during this lovely holiday.”

*DAKOTA pulls out an easel with only one line of text written on it*

H: “Step No. 1, open your kitchen to Zed’s Mother. Step No. 2, let Zed’s Mother cook.”

*the feed cuts inside The Pain Cabin where ZED’S MOM has prepared a Thanksgiving meal with more courses than can even be counted before panning back to the outside*

H: “Step No 3, invite all of your beloved friends and family and have the happiest of Thanksgivings.”

*DAKOTA takes out his alphorn kazoo and plays a summoning call, prompting the bulk of the OOWF roster to stampede toward The Pain Cabin as the scene fades*

[Jack Quinn]

<We cut to the Black Hand Offices where we see "Kingmaker" Pete Quick sitting behind his massive mahogany desk, looking out a window. There's a knock on the door>

PQ: Yeah

<the door opens and an attractive secretary walks in and sets a box on Quick's desk>

PQ: What's this?

AS: It's from Mrs. Bardoor. Shall I read the note?

PQ: Please

AS: <ahem> Mr. Quick, I would like to send my deepest apologies for my unacceptable, impulsive and destructive behavior. I was wrong to challenge you and the rest of the Black Hand, please accept my humble gift to go along with my sincerest apologies for my actions."

<Quick sits back in his chair with a big grin on his face>

PQ: That will do. Thank you

<the secretary leaves and Quick looks at the box>

PQ: Well well well, Cuban cigars, I wouldn't have expected that from some rube from Nebraska

<Quick walks over and grabs a bottle of whiskey and pours himself a drink, then pauses in front of the cigar box and opens it

AND BEAST POPS OUT!

<Beast grabs Quick and slams him face first into the wall, dazing him, he then grabs Quick by the head and they head for the window, Quick screams.......>

PQ: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

<......as he crashes through the window, our perspective changes and as Quick falls, we see what he sees, which is Katie Bardoor leaning out the window, flipping him the double bird>

KB: SEE YA LATER CAPTAIN DICKNUTS!

<Just before he hits the ground, Quick jolts awake. Sweat pouring down his face. He looks around and we see he is in the back of a limo with Angie Delpetro, Liam and Nigel. Angie gives him a look>

AD: What on earth is wrong with you?

PQ: What?

AD: You're soaked with sweat! You look like you've seen a ghost!

PQ: <taking a handkerchief from his pocket, mopping his brow> Nothing, I'm fine.

Driver: We're here

<the car stops and the door opens and the group steps out in front of the most exclusive steak house in Asheville. They walk in and Angie and Pete take a seat at the table and Liam and Nigel head to the bar, far enough away to be inconspicuous, but close enough to keep an eye on things. After they sit, Quick looks irritated>

AD: What is with you? This is a meal paid for by Katie, enjoy yourself. Relax.

PQ: I am not in the mood to relax. I am in the mood to have that hick's head on a silver platter. She doesn't understand who I.....who WE.....are!

AD: She will. Might I make a suggestion?

PQ: <looking annoyed> I suppose

AD: One moment <Angie waives over the waiter and she orders a fancy bottle of wine> Perhaps the wine will calm your nerves a bit.

PQ: <grumbling>

AD: Look......I don't see any reason to antagonize Alexander Darling

PQ: <laughing> Yes, it's almost Christmas, perhaps he will appear before me as the wrestler of Christmas past, the one that used to matter in this company

AD: He still does

PQ: HE does not, his sister does

AD: That is true, but why irritate the wrong Darling? Antagonizing Alexander Darling does us no good, beside, perhaps he could be useful to us

PQ: <scoffing> well.....we do need a good jester for my court. Perhaps. Can the Brat Prince sing and dance?

AD: Peter.

<Quick just rolls his eyes as the waiter comes by with a bottle of wine. As he pops the top and the cork comes off.......Quick nearly falls out of his chair>

AD: What is wrong with you?

PQ: NOTHING <Quick angrily waves away the waiter and takes a long drink> I did not come to this company and rid the world of Moosehead Jack, only to cowtow to Alexander Darling.

AD: I understand that. I am not asking you to cowtow, but the goal is Lexie's world title, not Alexander Darling's legacy

PQ: <sitting forward looking at Angie> I'll take them both if that is what I want

<the waiter returns and sets their salads in front of them>

AD: <folding her napkin in her lap> In time, you can absolutely have both. But. Perhaps it would be far easier to take the title from Lexie first. Why wage war on Alex when it gets you nothing?

PQ: I have no interest in waging war with Alexander Darling. All I am interested in is Alexander Darling knowing his place. His time is over, just like the Quinn's. He can come in and make a payday, then go back and do whatever it is he does.

<as they're talking the pepper waiter (no idea what their name is) comes around and grinds some pepper on Angie's salad. She moves to Quick's side and grinds some pepper on his salad>

AD: Just consider this. A motivated Alex is a distraction we do not need.

Waiter: More pepper?

PQ: <to the waiter> no. <to Angie> WE do not need to worry about crossing Alexander Darling, HE needs to worry about US!

AD: You didn't win the war against Jack Quinn just to get bogged down in another gory war with someone else, all that does is delay your inevitable title reign

Waiter: <still grinding> more pepper?

PQ: <not really paying attention> no <to Angie again> You might have a point. There is no reason to push the Darling siblings closer to one another.....

Waiter: more pepper?

PQ: <finally noticing all the pepper> NO! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU

Waiter: more pepper, Captain Dicknuts?

PQ: No......what did you....

<the waiter throws off the wig and tears off the mustache and we see.......KATIE BARDOOR! She grabs a handfull of the ground pepper and throws it in Quick's eyes, then smashes the pepper grinder over his head, then kicking him in the chest, sending him tumbling over backward, knocking the table over. Katie turns and BLASTS Angie with a right cross to the jaw, then pounces on her and hammers her with punches to the face. In moments, Liam and Nigel are there and they pull Katie off of Angie, Angie low blows Nigel, then grabs a tray and SMASHES it over Liam's head, sending him to the floor. Quick stands up and howls in pain, trying to dump water on his face to get the pepper out of his eyes, Katie grabs him "lemme help ya!" she drags him to the lobster tank and dunks his head repeatedly. Finally the police show up and tackle Katie to the floor, though it takes more of them than you'd think, they cuff her and carry her out of the steak house, Katie is cackling with laughter the whole time as the Black Hand tries to regroup and we fade to black>

[Jack Quinn]

<PORK and Katie get off the Polar Express train as it pulls into Bryson City. They are surrounded by children and adults dressed in pajamas. A small child seems to recognize PORK and she walks up to him and looks at him. PORK smiles and leans over and looks her in the eye>

P: Hello sweetie

Child: Are you that Piggy guy on TV?

<Katie bursts out laughing>

P: No, I'm PORK.

Child: The wrestler!

P: Yes! And this is Katie

Child: <hiding a little and grinning and whispering to PORK> my brother likes her

P: Well, maybe if he asks Santa, he will bring him a Katie Bardoor poster!

<the child laughs and runs back to her family. PORK and Katie slowly walk through the small town enjoying the Christmas lights>

KB: Nice place

P: Seems to be. Too bad Jack and Kali couldn't join us

KB: Yeah.....hey, there's a bar, let's get a drink

P: Katie you know I don't....

KB: Ok, I'll drink, you......be you

<they walk in and Katie gets a beer from Becky, PORK gets a glass of water. They look around for a moment, then hear the pool tables in the back. Katie is immediately interested>

P: Katie, I have a bad feeling.....

KB: Naaahhh, c'mon, let's go play a game.

<they head around the corner and go to the pool table (singular, it's a small bar) and they see a woman in a black leather jacket getting ready to break. She turns and looks over her shoulder at PORK and Katie and Quick stands up from the table and grabs a cue. Katie just grins.>

KB: Ok dicknuts. Let's do this!

<Katie takes a step toward Angie>

P: Wait, if they're.......

<just then Nigel comes in and SLAMS the side of PORK's knee with a baton. PORK collapses in a heap. The momentary distraction allows Angie to swing the pool cue and catch Katie right upside the head. Katie staggers and Liam grabs her and SLAMS her on the pool table, Quick gets to his feet and adjusts his glove and HAMMERS Katie with punches to the face, until blood is pouring from numerous gashes. Nigel and Angie hammer PORK's knee with the baton and another pool cue. Finally Becky comes running>

B: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!

Quick: <snapping his fingers, everyone stops> My apologies ma'am. Quick pulls a wad of bills from his pocket and drops it on the pool table next to Katie> That should be enough to cover the damages.......and pay for this place ten times over.

<The Black Hand leave, Katie slides off the pool table and steadies herself on her feet, then she notices PORK is down, clearly in pain, grabbing his knee.>

KB: Awww shit

<fade>

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds HUNTER and DAKOTA, THE WOODSMEN, outside OOWF Medical exiting PORK’s exam room when they are encountered by QUALIFIED AND RESPECTED FEMALE JOURNALIST 12*

QUALIFIED AND RESPECTED FEMALE JOURNALIST 12: “Hunter. Dakota. You two face Legion tonight. What are your thoughts heading into what should be a brutal match?”

HUNTER *politely taking the microphone away and staring right into the INC*: “Nigel and Liam. Legion, as you are called. You two enjoy capitalizing on the element of surprise and the numbers game. Like a pack of jackals. You have felled our friend Woodsman PORK and were heavily involved in injuring our friend and trusted mentor Woodsman Jack. You have terrorized the beautiful Woodswoman Kathryn Bardoor for months. Dakota and I, while we enjoy our whimsy and goofiness, shall not allow you to continue these acts of terror. Tonight, in the hometown of Woodsman Jack Quinn, we obtain our pound of flesh on behalf of Shokan Dojo.”

DAKOTA *leaning in*: “And like your long list of victims, you won’t see it coming.”

H: “Legion, it may be in the best interests of your continued health to believe me when I say, ‘Trust The Woodsmen.’”

*DAKOTA pulls out a double-necked Stratocaster kazoo and plays an ominously metal version of THE WOODSMEN’s trademark fanfare with HUNTER placing his hand across his brow and DAKOTA stepping on an imaginary rock as the scene fades*

[DevSop]

*OOWF Arena*

It's a few hours before showtime and fans are trickling in for the big show tonight. Some local talent is getting some ringwork in as OOWF officials look on for any potential future matches. As a match finishes up, the lights in the building go out. We hear Shizuru and Firewoman yell into their headsets to get the lighting in the building back up when we see a green and purple spotlight illuminate the top of the entrance. "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE" booms out from the soundsystem. Seconds later, "King of the World" starts to play and the fans walking in hurry to the closest seat possible and we see Alexander Darling walk into the arena. He makes a beeline for the ring and rips a microphone out of a stagehands hand. There is a brief look between Firewoman and Alexander, but its fleeting and Firewoman makes the motion that Alexander has the ring. He takes his usual perch on a turnbuckle.

Alexander: I'm going to do something unlike myself and make this succinct. In the past few weeks, I've had my business manager give me an ultimatum. I've had my recent tag partner call me out. And then I've had the new big man on campus call me a ghost. And he did it twice. And ya know what, maybe I am a ghost of the Alexander Darling of the past. Maybe this business has passed me by. Because the old Alexander Darling, the one who everyone seems to be begging to show up, would have carved these pieces of shit up and left a literal mark on them for the rest of their lives. But instead, I've sat and wondered if they are right. If the Alexander Darling in this ring right now is a shell. If I'm just going through the motions and cashing ungodly high check amounts to just be a name to sell tickets.

Alex jumps off the turnbuckle and walks to the center of the ring...

I guess it's time we all find out exactly who Alexander Darling is. I am the Brat Prince. I am the best wrestler this company has ever seen. I have beaten the best in this business. I am Alexander motherfucking Darling. And it's time for the OOWF to remember that. The bell tolls for thee. Tick Tock Kingmaker.

*Fade*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find LEXIE DARLING exiting catering with a drink in hand as she turns a corner to encounter BRIDGET O’MALLEY with CARRIE and HARPER, THE ONE-NOTES, a step behind. LEXIE is ready to fight, but BRIDGET shakes her head back and forth and puts her hands out to signal otherwise*

BRIDGET: “We were hoping to find you before our match tonight.”

LEXIE: “If you three have a pink jacket with my name on it, you can stuff it. I’m not interested.”

BO’M: “Oh no. I have a different offer for you, champ.”

*BRIDGET taps the shoulder that LEXIE usually carries her OOWF World Championship on when walking to or from the ring*

BO’M: “You see … Two weeks ago. I had you beat. The title that’s usually on your shoulder should be on my waist. Then Mac’s little lackey cosplaying as Mac cosplaying as a luchador stuck his nose where it doesn’t belong. All I’m asking is for another chance. You're a fighting champion, or so you claim.”

LD: “What have you done to earn this chance?”

BO’M: “It’s what I’m going to do to earn this chance, Pookie. You see, when we go through your team one by one tonight, I will be the rightful challenger to your championship. How about it? We win tonight, I face you for your title at New Year’s Evil in four weeks.”

LD: “Fair enough. And what happens when you and your team doesn’t win?”

BO’M: “Worry about your team, champ. See you in four weeks.”

*HARMONY walks away, but the camera still follows them as the scene hasn’t quite faded yet*

BO’M: “Girls. Step 1 is complete. See you after Step 2.”

*CARRIE and HARPER nod at BRIDGET as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER and SANDRA FALLON in their dressing room with MAC stretching and SANDRA putting KT tape on her knee*

MAC: “All I’m saying is that I’m not a horrible cook. Could I walk into a Michelin-rated restaurant and take over the kitchen? Unless it’s an air-fryer joint, no, but I have yet to kill anyone when I cook for them. Anyhow, we gotta meet with Lexie in like 5, you ready?”

SANDRA: “Yeah, brah. Just let me get this tape on that knee Bridget attacked in Johnstown.”

MF: “OK, I’ll get the door, Gimpy.”

*MAC heads to the door and tries to open it, but it does not budge. MAC tries again to no avail. A third effort gets MAC just as far*

SF: “Wait. You suddenly can’t figure out doors?”

*SANDRA has just as much success as MAC, almost dislocating her arms while trying to pull the door open*

SF: “What the hell, dude? You didn’t even lock it from the inside.”

MF: “I’ll call Lexie and let her know that we’ll be late. No need to panic yet.”

*the feed cuts to outside the door as a woman in a welder’s mask puts the finishing touches on a professional-level weld before unmasking to reveal herself as HARPER from THE ONE-NOTES. CARRIE grabs a phone and makes a call*

CARRIE: “Bridget. Babe. Step 2 is complete. Step 3-on-1 is up next.”

*CARRIE and HARPER high-five while walking away as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – Dec. 2, 2023
LIVE! from Bryson City, North Carolina

• Nuke vs. Kylie Mignolio
Cold open with the two combatants in the ring and Mike Elevenbee announcing the relevant information. Davis Hightower checks Nuke for foreign objects and pats his way to finding Nuke’s chain, which is confiscated despite the protests of Nuke and Adam Jennings on the outside. Hightower’s check on Kylie comes up clean as the senior official calls for the bell. Nuke tries to lock up with Kylie, who is a step faster on each attempt. Nuke then tries to corner Kylie, missing a turnbuckle charge when Kylie scampers under Nuke’s legs and then dropkicks him from behind into the corner. Nuke turns around just as Kylie’s charges in with a monkey flip that sends Nuke to the opposite corner. Nuke steadies himself and eats another monkey flip that sends him to the original corner. The rookie groggily stands and catches Kylie before a one-step spine buster switches the advantage.

Russ: “A rare rookie-like move by Kylie, going to the well too many times.”
Razz: “She got caught, but there are times when you have that advantage, the fans are rocking and you forget your strategy for a second. I get it.”

Nuke shakes the cobwebs and begins pounding away on Kylie’s neck and back with forearm strikes. Nuke hits the chin lock while barking insults at fans and Kylie, while Adam taunts Kylie from the outside. Kylie tries to work herself upright, but a well-timed yank of the hair keeps Nuke in the advantage. Nuke then shifts the chin lock to a camel clutch that isn’t as effective as usual thanks to Kylie’s flexibility. As Nuke tries to crank the submission back farther, Kylie slides her legs free and flips her weight onto Nuke’s shoulders, getting 2 as the two tumble to the canvas. Nuke takes a powder outside and consults with Adam, unknowingly leaving the two easy prey for a Tope Suicida by Kylie as all three crash to the floor. Kylie kips up and salutes the fans before heading back inside the ring. With Nuke standing up, a ringside fan adorned in a familiar hooded sweatshirt slips something in his pocket and then taps Adam on the shoulder and whispers something in his ear. Adam hops onto the apron to draw Hightower’s attention while Nuke pats his heavier pocket and pulls out a chain, which he quickly wraps around his wrist before drilling Kylie. With Kylie out on her feet, Nuke steps back and folds her in half with Give ‘Em the Boot, getting an academic 3 when Adam points out the pin attempt to Hightower.

Your winner (pinfall, 4:02), Nuke!

Afterward, the fan doffs his hood to reveal himself as Alexander Darling before turning around and exiting through the fans. Nuke and Adam modestly celebrate as they watch Alexander depart.

• The Woodsmen vs. Legion
With The Pain Cabin already assembled, “The Halls of Fear” cuts the hum in the arena to signal the arrival of Nigel and Liam. The heavies of The Black Hand walk to the ring with a slow pace as the two never take their eyes from the ring. Nigel and Liam inspect The Pain Cabin before booting the door in, expecting The Woodsmen, but getting nothing aside from a note on the table in the dinette. The camera zooms in on the note as it read, “Nigel and Liam, apologies for missing your visit. Warmest regards, Hunter and Dakota.” Nigel crumbles the note with Liam flipping the table, all while a knock can be heard from the outside. Nigel looks in the doorway to see nothing. Nigel steps outside and into a spear from Dakota, dressed and face painted to match the outside blue barricade, that Legion walked past without noticing. Dakota starts pounding on Nigel when Liam steps outside to get dropped from above by Hunter, who is camouflaged to appear as part of the roofing shingles on The Pain Cabin. Gavin ‘Junior’ Hale shrugs and signals for the bell to start the match as neither team seems to be interested in fighting the match under rules of any sort.

Russ: “I guess we can add masters of disguise to the list of skills boasted by The Woodsmen.”
Razz: “They better hope that their little fun with camouflaging gives them a decisive advantage in this fight, because Legion won’t tolerate these reindeer games for longer than it takes for them to get their bearings.”

Hunter and Liam’s brawl tumbles the two to the outside while Nigel and Dakota trade hammering blows with the crowd jeering and cheering on cue. Dakota stems the tide in his favor with a series of rights before loading a bolo-punch left hand that ties Nigel in the ropes. Dakota blows past Hale’s attempt to step between the two and delivers more blows to Nigel’s face, starting a small cut on his forehead. Hale pulls Dakota off only to get shoved into The Pain Cabin, rendering him incapacitate for a few minutes. While Hale is down, Liam unties Nigel and Hunter joins Dakota in the ring for a hockey-fight exchange of fisticuffs, putting the fans in a lather as The Woodsmen are showing a fire that was completely unexpected of them. Hunter whips Liam into The Pain Cabin while Dakota delivers an avalanche powerslam to Nigel. Hunter then climbs the ropes and hits a top-rope elbow drop, driving the point of the joint into Nigel’s throat. Hunter attempts a pin, but the bell rings as Hale comes to.

Ladies and gentlemen, official ‘Junior’ Hale has disqualified The Woodsmen, meaning that your winner is (disqualification, 8:32) Legion!

While the crowd is not pleased with the decision, the two teams are happy to continue brawling afterward as the teams take the fight to the aisle where The Woodsmen seemingly get the upper-hand until Liam produces a collapsable baton and waylays both Hunter and Dakota. Nigel and Liam begin to stomp away as Katie Bardoor sprints out with PORK hobbling behind. Katie stands off with both members of Legion, who smile menacingly before walking past her as PORK tends to The Woodsmen with Hunter sporting a massive goose egg and Dakota checking in his jaw, wincing as he moves it.

• Beverly Cambridge vs. Alexander Darling
“Cut the Cord” plays to herald the entrance of Beverly, who acknowledges her fans, but heads to the ring with a very serious demeanor. Beverly stretches across the ropes as her music ends with “King of the World” blaring through the speakers in the arena. The spotlight pointed toward the top of the ramp reveals … Nobody. Alexander’s music plays through and loops again before OOWF Ben Coleman motions for the music to stop. Coleman then begins a 10 count that reaches 10 with little drama.

Your winner (countout, :10), Beverly Cambridge!

Afterward, Beverly stands in the ring just as perplexed as everyone else in the arena as Kylie reveals herself from underneath the ring as she supposedly was waiting to even the score with Alexander. The sisters walk back to the locker room, slapping hands with fans along the way.

• Non-title match: Zed and Sean Franklin vs. Banned From Everywhere
The OOWF World Tag Team Championship may not be on the line in this match, but there’s a definite buzz in the air as Zed and Justin shake hands before circling around the ring. Zed and Justin end up putting on a surprisingly electric display of high-risk maneuvers, with neither side really getting the upper hand before Justin tags in Bill.

Zed slows down the pace a bit here and measures his distance, not particularly eager to get thrown around the ring by the larger, perhaps Awesomer Bill. This works for a while, but eventually Bill traps Zed in a corner and lands a few elbows lifting Zed up to the top turnbuckle and laying in the old-school ten punch salute for good measure.

Bill and Justin team up against Zed now, and while the crowd isn’t necessarily against Zed, they sure wouldn’t mind seeing Banned from Everywhere pick up a big win here tonight and are starting to fuel them onward. However, Zed fights his way out of it with some strategically placed knees before tagging in Sean to get a breather.

Sean and Bill proceed to put on what some would politely call a car crash, tossing each other around with reckless abandon. Sean’s raw athleticism gives him an early advantage, but Bill’s veteran savvy kicks in, as he uses some leverage to escape a Sean suplex and counters into an Awesome Bomb.

Bill tags in Justin, who heads to the top rope … BANNED FROM SPACE! Justin hooks Sean’s leg, one, two, NO! Zed scrambles in to break up the pin, then makes a hasty retreat to his corner to avoid any further confrontation. Awesome Bill and Zed exchange a few quick words before Bill also heads to his corner. Justin slams the mat, but immediately goes back to the top rope, urging the crowd on as he heads upstairs.

Justin leaps … MOMENT OF CLARITY! BUT NO! Sean rolls out of the way and Justin crashes into the mat. Capitalizing on the moment, Sean scrambles to his feet, powerbombing Justin before tagging in Zed … HOUSE DIVIDED. One, two, THREE!

Your winners (13:52; pinfall), Sean Franklin and Zed

• Steel cage match: WAR PIGS vs. Angie Delpetro and Pete Quick

Russ: Folks, next up is a steel cage match between War Pigs and The Black Hand, Pete Quick and Angie Delpetro
Razz: Last I heard, PORK was going to be able to go, but I gotta be honest Russ, I don't see how.

"Kingmaker" plays and Angie and Pete come out, and they are damn near booed out of the arena. They sneer at the fans and head to the ring. They climb into the cage and Quick climbs the turnbuckles and soaks in the boos, then opens his eyes and looks at the luxury box where Alexander Darling is sitting and he grins. Quick hops off the turnbuckle and he and Angie await the coming storm.

"War Pigs” plays and Katie and PORK walk out to the top of the stage

Razz: Good gawd Russ look at that brace!
Russ: That's the biggest knee brace I've seen since Stone Cold. I am not sure this is a good idea for PORK

Before they head to the ring, PORK and Katie turn to the entrance, and Jack Quinn steps out onto the stage and the crowd absolutely LOSES it. Inside the ring, Quick and Angie sneer at Jack. Jack soaks in the cheers for a moment, then ever so slightly glances at the box, then he nods and Katie and PORK storm the ring and climb into the cage and the fight is ON!

Katie and Quick go toe to tow and trade punches, but Katie is fighting with a fury we haven't seen, and she gets the best of it and slams Quick face first into the steel and rakes his face across the cage until blood flows freely. Across the ring Angie is doing her best to use her speed to stay away from a very angry PORK, but he finally corners her and absolutely annihilates her with a clothesline, before sending her into the cage as well.

PORK and Katie spend the better part of the next ten minutes DECIMATING Quick and Angie, but Angie and Quick fight back, Quick catches PORK with a low blow, then nails Katie with an eye poke. Angie hits Katie with a Canadian Destroyer, taking her out. Quick hits PORK with a running knee to the side of the head and covers, but PORK powers out at two.

Angie climbs to the top rope, but Katie recovers and does the Angle run up the turnbuckle and takes her off with a perfect belly to belly suplex! Quick is momentarily distracted which allows PORK to hit a spinning fist to the side of the head that sends Quick flying.

With Quick down in the corner, PORK grabs Angie and PLANTS her with a powerbomb while Katie climbs to the top rope

Russ: They're setting up for the Pigs in Space!
Razz: If they hit this, it's OVER!

As Katie gets to the top rope, we hear a commotion. We see Nigel has Jack around the throat while Liam threatens him with a chair. Liam charges, but Jack manages to duck and Liam nails Nigel with the chair, sending him stumbling back, falling onto the announce table.

Razz: WHAT THA HELL RUSS!
RUSS: BY GAWD IT'S CARNAGE!

Jack takes Liam to dick kick city while in one amazingly fluid motion, Katie scales the cage and leaps off trying for an elbow drop on Nigel, but Nigel rolls off at the last possible second and Katie CRASHES through the table! Nigel grabs Katie and pulls her out of the wreckage and handcuffs her to the cage.

Nigel grabs a chair and is about to smash it across a helpless Katie's face when Jack dives in and takes the chair shot to the head, saving Katie. Jack collapses and lies motionless on the floor while Katie nearly tears her arm off trying to get out of the cuffs while Nigel and Liam put the boots to Jack. Liam grabs Katie by the face and forces her to watch as Nigel stomps Jack's head into the concrete. The camera momentarily cuts to Alexander Darling in his suite where he sits emotionless watching the carnage.

While this is going on outside the ring, Angie is back to her feet and she tries to attack PORK, but PORK moves out of the way and Angie slams into the corner, PORK lines her up for some PORK CHOPS but Quick charges in and chop blocks PORK sending him to the mat. Quick and Angie tear the knee brace off PORK's leg and repeatedly slam it into PORK's face until he is a bloody mess.

Russ: PORK is helpless in there! Katie is trapped outside! Someone needs to get down here to stop this!
Razz: This is a slaughter!

Outside the ring, Nigel grabs a bottle and smashes it over Katie's head, drawing copious amounts of blood. Back inside the ring, Quick applies an Indian Death lock on PORK, he applies it again and again as PORK howls in agony, finally, a white towel is tossed into the ring. The referee sees it, picks it up and looks around and calls for the bell.

Razz: Who the hell threw the towel in?
Russ: I … I didn't see anyone! There were no other seconds in this match! What the hell is going on around here?

The referee finally pulls Quick off of PORK and raises their hands. The crowd is ready to riot. Quick climbs to the top of the cage and invites fans in to fight him, a few try to climb over the barricades, but security stops them. Quick turns and leaps off the top of the cage and drops a knee right across PORK's knee! PORK spasms in pain, and finally the locker room empties to help Shokan Dojo.

Quick and Angie meet up with Liam and Nigel at the top of the ramp and celebrate as trash rains down on them.

Your winners (referee stoppage, 23:49), The Black Hand!

As they walk to the back, we head back to ringside to survey the carnage and we see someone in a black hood grab the towel from the ring, hop the guardrail and disappear into the crowd.

• Elimination six-person match: Lexie Darling, Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon vs. Harmony (Bridget O’Malley and The One-Notes)
“Crown on the Ground (but Sung by The One-Notes)” plays with Harmony standing atop the ramp, seemingly proud of their handiwork. The trio lines up in a Gracie Train, with Carrie rubbing Bridget’s shoulders as they walk to the ring. Harmony enters the ring, getting showered with boos and concessions before “Radioactive” plays to change the mood of the crowd. Lexie, while appearing to be entering at a 3-on-1 disadvantage, barely flinches as she heads to the ring, but is blocked by Carrie and Harper at the apron. While Mel Creech tries to pull the two back, assistant General Manager Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox appears on the OOWFTron.

Shizuru-Mune: “While our efforts to get Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon out of their locker room were unsuccessful in time for this match, I cannot allow Lexie Darling to fight this match alone. I do understand that Lexie will be at a disadvantage having not prepared to wrestle alongside the replacements, I feel like they are worthy substitutes. Without further adieu …”

“Anchors Aweigh” by The Bouncing Souls signals the arrival of a very eager Annie Horvath, who dashes to the ring and has to be held back by Lexie, who looks at Annie before sighing and nodding her head up and down.

Russ: “I wouldn’t exactly call this rookie an acceptable substitute, but she was available when Lexie Darling’s regular partners were welded inside their locker room.”
Razz: “If Lexie wants to fight this fight, Annie is going to be one third of this makeshift team.”

Annie’s music stops as a pregnant pause overtakes what is usually a seamless transition between themes with Harmony pointing out the 3-on-2 situation. While the pink-jacketed ladies are in mid taunt, “Just a Girl” starts to play as the arena erupts.

Russ: “WELL IF IT ISN’T LINDSAY MCALLISTER! CLEARED AND READY TO FIGHT!”
Razz: “She might be medically cleared, but can she handle any kind of blow to the head? You get her lined up across from Harper and Lindsay might be heading back to concussion protocol.”

As soon as Lexie lets a smile wrap across her face, the new trio charges the ring and easily clears it of Harmony, standing tall and soaking in cheers. Lindsay offers to start for her side with Carrie the first in the ring for her team as Creech signals for a bell. Lindsay wrestles rings around Carrie, overpowering her at first before letting her speed take the wheel. Carrie, while usually a capable grappler, backs away from Lindsay and tags in Harper. Lindsay drops Harper with a dropkick and gets 1 on a flash pin try. Harper then seizes temporary control with a lariat and a press slam. Lindsay pounds the mat and quickly gets to her feet, getting straight in Harper’s face before having to duck a left hook. Lindsay pops up and nails Harper with an uppercut and backs her into a neutral corner before a handspring elbow. Lindsay drags the woozy Harper to her team’s corner and tags in Annie, who immediately climbs the ropes and delivers 10 punches to Harper and then adds about 10 more before Lexie tags in. The champion whips Harper to the Harmony corner and invites Bridget to tag in. Bridget obliges before turning around and tapping Carrie on the shoulder. Carrie enters with Annie itching to tag in. Lexie thinks it over for a second before giving the rookie her wish as she darts in, straight into a stun gun. Carrie grabs a heaping helping of Annie’s jeans, though it likely wasn’t needed as Creech snaps off 3.

Annie Horvath (pinfall, 4:13) has been eliminated.

Lexie heads in and checks on Annie before getting booted down by Carrie. Lexie doesn’t stay down long, kipping up and hammering away on the smaller of the two One-Notes. A knee-DT allows Lexie to twist Carrie into a Darling Clutch while looking straight at the Harmony corner. Lindsay dashes in to cut off any possible saves as Carrie holds on for roughly 30 seconds before slapping the mat.

Carrie (submission, 5:22) has been eliminated.

Harper charges in and shoves Lindsay into Lexie as both smack their heads together, drawing gasps from the crowd as Lindsay is shaky at first, but clears the cobwebs in short order. Carrie manages to clip Lexie’s knee in the chaos, prompting Bridget to want to take part in the match. Harper tags in Bridget, who immediately stomps away at Lexie’s wounded leg before dropping into a grapevine that gets screams but not a tap as Lexie is able to boot her way free. Lexie stands up while trying to shake feeling back into her leg as Bridget tries to shoot in, only for Lexie to matador her into a boot by Lindsay in the corner. Lindsay and Lexie take turns with a cornered Bridget as Lindsay finishes the assault with a shotgun dropkick. Lindsay drags Bridget to the center of the ring and calls for an Aussie Attack. Lindsay lifts Bridget up, but cannot hold her there as a rake to the eyes frees her from possible doom with Bridget crawling to tag in Harper. Lindsay gets to a standing base but is quickly shoved to the ropes and then a charging clothesline sends Lindsay and Harper over the top and onto the floor. The two begin brawling as Creech’s count is seemingly unheard all the way to 10.

Lindsay McAllister and Harper (double count out, 10:39) have both been eliminated.

The two keep on fighting, blissfully unaware of the decision as Lexie and Bridget stand off in the middle.

Russ: “If Bridget O’Malley wants another chance at Lexie Darling’s championship, she’ll have to do it by defeating the champion right here tonight.”
Razz: “Bridget has to be considered the fresher of the two in terms of ring time tonight. Plus Lexie’s leg might still be a bit gimpy after Carrie’s cut block from earlier.”

Lexie and Bridget tie up with a hair pull allowing Bridget to get leverage and a few forearms across the jaw. Bridget then hoists Lexie into a delayed vertical suplex and drops a knee across the throat to get 2. Bridget goes to a chin lock, occasionally moving hand over Lexie’s nose to temporarily smother her before moving it as Creech peeks around. As the crowd urges Lexie on, the champion is able to get up on a knee before Bridget snaps Lexie backward by her hair to slam her head on the mat. Bridget stands over the downed Lexie and taunts the crowd, only to get scooped up and nearly pinned as Creech’s count made it to 2.5 before Bridget kicked out. Bridget pops up and starts to drive elbows onto Lexie’s sore knee and delivers a series of knee-DTs before signaling for a stretch muffler.

Russ: “That’s the move that has won Bridget a bushel of matches over the past few weeks. Could this make Lexie submit?”
Razz: “Lexie is a tough cookie, but when you’re getting dangled in the air with the ligaments in your knee getting pulled like that, even the highest threshold of pain runs out quick in that hold.”

Bridget wraps Lexie’s leg over her neck and starts to rise when Rory Thomas, still dressed as the unmasked El Scorcho, stands at the top of the ramp. Rory holds a plastic megaphone as he encourages a call-and-reply from the fans.

Rory: “WHO’S THAT COMING DOWN THE TRACK?”
Fans: “WHO’S THAT COMING DOWN THE TRACK?”
Rory: “A PISSED OFF TEAM IN GOLD AND BLACK!”
Fans: “A PISSED OFF TEAM IN GOLD AND BLACK!”
Rory: “AIN’T NOTHING SCARIER IN THE LAND!”
Fans: “AIN’T NOTHING SCARIER IN THE LAND!”
Rory: “THAN A SURFER AND HER YINZER MAN!”
Fans: “THAN A SURFER AND HER YINZER MAN!”

Before Rory can continue with the sound-off, The One-Notes attack him from behind and toss him off of the stage before heading down the ramp where Creech hops out of the ring to halt them before security arrives. With Bridget protesting, she does not see Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon in the ring behind her. Bridget turns around and spots the two, immediately backing away and begging them off until she backpedals her way to bumping into Lexie, who lifts her in position and drives her down with a Burning Hammer, but not fully thanks to the bad wheel. Mac and Sandra duck out of the ring as Creech spins around, sees Lexie pinning Bridget and counts 3 while Bridget is out at 3.5.

Bridget O’Malley (pinfall, 23:58) has been eliminated.
Your winner, with survivor Lexie Darling, the team of Lexie Darling, Lindsay McAllister and Annie Horvath.

Afterward, Lexie celebrates with her original teammates as Lindsay and Annie return to join the party. Bridget throws a tantrum in the ruing again, shrieking that she had Lexie beaten again before Rory emerged. Carrie and Harper console Bridget with Mac and Sandra lifting Lexie on their shoulders as the feed cuts out.